Altered Perception

Family Reunions

“For the love of God Spike, I will not tell you again to not smoke in the car now will you please put that out!”, Spike flicked the cigarette out of the window then slumped back into his seat pouting. What had possessed him to accept Giles’ offer of a ride to LA? Oh yeah, the Desoto was trashed and the hospital had sent a doctor with the ambulance moving Xander ‘just for insurance purposes’ so there was no room to ride in the ambulance so he was pretty much stuck with the Watcher, who drove like an 80 year old woman, who didn’t have a CD player, whose radio seemed stuck on a classical station and who wouldn’t let him smoke. He saw Giles glance at him from the corner of his eye before saying “We’ll make a stop at the next rest station, I need to get gas and you can have a cigarette then OK?”. Shooting a pathetically grateful look at the fellow Brit he relaxed a little and closed his eyes until they got there.

After making the stop it was only another hour on the road before they got to the hospital in LA, Giles had already called Angel and told him that he and Spike were going to be in LA and that they wanted to speak to the Angel Investigations team in the hopes they could enlist their help but he hadn’t told them about Xander. He’d later confided to Spike that he knew that Cordelia would take the news rather badly and he thought that given their history that the news would be better broken face to face rather than over the phone.

As they pulled up outside the Hyperion Spike felt that tugging sensation just behind his breastbone that he always felt whenever he was near Angel. Drusilla may have been his original sire, she had been the one to turn him after all but Angelus had been the one to teach him what it meant to be a vampire. The times they had spend together hunting, feeding and fucking had created a bond, a bond that had been strengthened by the blood they shared after each time they made love. After 3 short years Spike had taken so much of Angelus’ blood and vice versa that the Sire bond he had with Drusilla had waned to a vague awareness of her presence when she was near whilst the bond he had with Angelus had been honed into something exceptionally strong. He could find his sire anywhere just by following that slight tugging sensation, he had known when Holtz once had Angelus captured, had felt every injury inflicted on him as though it had happened to his own body and had been able to gather a gang of minions together to lead a rescue mission.

When Angelus had been cursed with the soul though the bond had snapped, Spike had felt it in his mind, an agonising pain that had left him writhing on the floor in pain to Darla’s amazement, Drusilla had known what had happened though she had knelt next to him and gently brushing the hair from his face had whispered “now I have my dark prince all to myself, no more Daddy for you William”. He’d passed out then and when he regained consciousness Darla had ordered him to accompany her to a gypsy camp, from there the story was pretty much legend, well documented in the Watchers diaries, the gypsies had refused to lift the curse and Angelus had been lost to them, to him. Despite all this he still felt it whenever Angel was near, he hated himself for the tiny part of him that hoped that the reason this small part of the bond they had once shared survived was because a small part of Angel still cared for him.

Seeing Angel again was a bad idea, sure he didn’t feel for Angel in that way anymore. He knew that Angel would never be Angelus again, well not the un-psychotic Angelus anyway. But even if that were possible Spike knew he had changed, couldn’t go back to being what he was. He loved Xander because he had a soul, because he was pure and good and fought for what was right. But still, he couldn’t escape the urge to gain, approval he supposed from the broody git, he needed the sense of family. The Scoobies had become family to him but he always felt there was a tiny part of him that was incomplete and he knew it was only going to be intensified when he saw Angel.

Shaking his head and bringing himself to the present he saw Giles watching him quietly, “If you, if you don’t want to do this Spike I would understand. I could take you to the hospital and join you later” Spike shook his head, he knew that Giles was in no danger from Angel but couldn’t bring himself to allow the man to walk into Angel’s territory with no-one at his back. Pulling his duster tight around him and reaching for the door handle he sighed “nah, s’fine. ‘Sides Peaches promised you he wouldn’t dust me on sight right? Wouldn’t mind a smoke before we go in though if you don’t mind hanging on a mo?”. “Of course” Giles said and reaching into the glove box he withdrew a small antique hip flask, Spike heard the sloshing of liquid inside “and perhaps a nip of dutch before we go in?” he asked with a mischievous grin that looked disturbingly at home on the rugged face, “read my bloody mind you did Rupes” Spike responded with a grin of his own.

In all the reunion was anti-climatic Spike reflected, after a smoke and knocking back a good proportion of Giles’ flask of 40 year old Laphroaig he had squared his shoulders and sauntered into the reception of the Hyperion as though he owned the place. He had watched as Giles explained the situation, they had both agreed before hand that the LA team did not need to be told of the development in Xander and Spike’s relationship, and been surprised at the emotions in the room at the news of Xander’s condition. The cheerleader he had expected to some extent, the tears were not surprising but the steely determination when she said that she would do anything to get Xander back was, seemed the chit had grown some since coming to LA. The other ex-watcher Wesley had changed too it seemed, Spike didn’t really remember much about him apart from the face that he was a bit of a wuss in Sunnydale. He had lost his glasses and had a few days worth of stubble, gone were the sharply pressed suits to be replaced by jeans, a rumpled button down and a leather jacket, the man looked good Spike had to admit.

Seemed Angel had gotten himself a couple of new humans on the team too, a tiny Texan called Fred, short for Winifred apparently who Spike had warmed to immediately, the similarities between her and Red were startling and he found comfort in the familiar babbling. She was tougher than she looked though, seems she’d spent some time trapped in a demon dimension, forced to live as a slave then as a fugitive before Angel had managed to bring her back to this dimension. Then there was Gunn, Charles Gunn who until recently it seemed had been in charge of a gang of street kids who protected their neighbourhood from vamps. Spike couldn’t help but like the kid, he had balls even if he did seem very reluctant to deal with an unsouled ‘bloodsucker’.

Wesley immediately assured Giles and Spike that they would of course offer any assistance they could, he sat next to Cordelia and after murmuring a few gentle words of comfort he suggested that the first thing they should do was some research. He, Cordy, Fred and Gunn moved to the office to gather some books, Fred muttering to herself about astral projection and possible 5th dimensions. Spike was still tense and could tell that Giles was too, there was one person who hadn’t said a word throughout the discussions and explanations, one person who hadn’t yet committed to helping Xander. “Giles” Angel said, turning from where he had been standing, staring out of the French windows into the garden, “perhaps you’d like to help Wes and the others? I need to have a word with Spike.” Giles shot Spike a worried look and didn’t seem reassured by the nod that Spike gave him.

“Very well, but Angel? I feel the need to remind you of our earlier discussion, Spike has proved himself over again to be changed and I expect you to be true to your word, any attempts to harm Spike will be met with swift and punitive retaliation from me and if that is not enough to stay your actions then I should inform you that Willow, Tara and Dawn are all incredibly fond of Spike, Dawn in particular loves him like a brother, I am sure I don’t need to remind you how powerful Willow is? And I can assure you that Tara is a more than competent witch herself and I fancy that even Angelus would fear to incur the wrath of Dawn, am I understood?”

Angel turned to face out of the windows again, his gaze fixed on the darkened foliage outside, “I understand perfectly Giles and rest assured I have no intention of harming Spike. I simply need to speak with him, privately.” Spike’s curiosity was piqued now, this wasn’t an Angel he’d seen before. Angel had two modes when dealing with him, pissed and mega pissed so this calm and collected attitude was a surprise. “S’OK Giles, if it gets rough you’ll hear it from the office and can come rushing in to save the day yeah?” Giles nodded once then walked to the office, deliberately leaving the door open a crack and giving Angel a pointed look. Spike looked at Angel, not sure what to make of this quiet attitude.

After 4 minutes silence Spike was getting antsy, he’d never been good with awkward silences and he still hadn’t figured out how he was going to ask Angel for the account access he needed to pay for Xander’s medical bills, plus he’d been giving Red and Glinda a few bob when he could to help cover the costs of running Buffy’s old place but he wanted to be able to clear off some of the debts that had accumulated since her death. If he could just pay off the house then all they had to deal with were the utilities, food and such like and he was sure he’d have enough money put away to help out with that. But how to put it to Angel…

“Do you love him?” Angel’s voice was quiet, even Spike struggled to hear the words “Xander I mean, do you love him Will?” Spike shuffled his feet, he should have known that Angel would be able to tell, the flipside of him knowing Angel so well was that the same applied in reverse. “Yeah, have done for a while now. Didn’t really get a chance to tell him until, well ‘till he got hurt. He saved me ya’know, took a stake in the back that would have seen me dusted. I never thought that he cared about me and then turned out he loved me, had done for a while I think. Both of us just wasting time when we could have– well it doesn’t matter we’ll have time to sort all that out when he’s awake.” Spike noticed that Angel had gone very still whilst he was talking, “ummm Peaches? Angel? You still with me mate?”

“I’m pleased for you Will, a little sad but I am happy for you. It’s important you know, family. I killed Penn last year, I had to and I knew that but it still hurt. I wanted to come and see you, before all of this, to explain, why I left you. Why I never came back for you. I’m sorry Will, I’m sorry I ever hurt you. Of all my childer, you were the only one I ever truly loved, you know that don’t you Will? It’s important that you know that.” Spike was, well uncomfortable was understating it. He didn’t know how to do this, he and Angelus had been close and unlikely though it was to happen had Angelus wanted to have a heart-to-heart Spike would have been more than happy to oblige, it was just that their relationship had been more along the lines of blood and fucking. Sure there was love there and genuine feelings from both parties, it just wasn’t spoken about, there was no need to.

“Pea- Angel, I don’t know what you want me to say here. You know how I felt about you then, that never changed well not until recently, ya’know with Xander. I don’t, I don’t want you that way anymore. But I do want you to be in my life” his voice dropped to a whisper “you’re still my Sire”. Angel closed the distance between them and gripped Spike’s biceps “do you mean it Will? You would still call yourself my Childe?” he murmured against the shell of Spike’s ear as he nuzzled his neck. “I never stopped” Spike whispered as he tilted his head to give Angel the access he wanted, the mark he’d left on Spike’s neck over 100 years ago when he’d claimed Spike as his childe and formally overwritten Drusilla’s Sire claim over him. Angel licked a cool path, nibbled with blunt teeth over the spot and Spike shuddered as he felt the ridges against his neck as Angel’s demon came forth and whimpered when he felt sharp fangs slip into his neck like a hot knife through butter. With each draught of his blood that Angel drew Spike could feel the long broken bond between him and Angel snap back into place.

He marvelled as the sensations increased, it wasn’t the same as it used to be. Time was when Angelus drank from him it could bring an instant orgasm, at the least it would leave him hard and desperate, pleading for Angelus to take him. Now there was a faint tingling sensation along his spine but it was more a familial feeling. The same difference applied to the bond, it was there but it was more empathetic than anything else. He could sense Angel’s feelings more acutely than ever but he got the full range, the angst and the pain whereas before it had always been joy, happiness, the thrill of the hunt and the kill and of course lust.

As Angel withdrew Spike swayed in his grip, living on pig’s blood plus his reduced feeding since Xander’s hospitalisation meant that he was nowhere near full fitness and the blood loss had left his woozy. He heard Angel’s murmuring in his ear, terms of endearment and promises of never leaving him alone again, that his Sire was here to stay and would always protect him, he tried to focus but struggled until he heard the words “drink now my Childe, drink of me and be mine again, always loved and always protected, most favoured Childe” Spike leant forward, nuzzling at Angel’s neck until he found the place where had he had one his pulse would have beat and after a languid lick to the area he sank his fangs in. His body bowed under the onslaught of sweet nectar that burst across his tongue, there was *nothing* in this world or any other that could compare to the taste of Sire blood. After swallowing 3 swift mouthfuls he pulled back and with another lick to ensure the punctures healed he slumped back against Angel, gasping for unneeded breath.

After what felt like an eternity but was in all likelihood perhaps a few minutes they roused themselves enough to stand on their own without needing the support of the wall. Spike tried to sort through the deluge of emotions running through his mind, only half of which were his, the rest he knew were Angel’s, as he processed and tried to deal with the sudden guilt and grief that Angel dealt with everyday courtesy of the curse and the soul he came across one bright golden spark that stood out from all the others. Turning with a huge smirk towards Angel he crowed “you’re in love with the bloody cheerleader!”

AN - OK so it's not the 3 chapters I promised, the other 2 are works in progress, I just need to tidy them up a bit, not entirely happy with them but this one's a bit longer than the last couple have been so hopefully will tide people over until I get the next 2 up...