Bound

Chapter 9 Pretend I Care

This chapter is very dark. Contains attempted suicide.(Don't punish me too harshly for it, it's for the greater good... honest)


Angelus fell asleep, one arm draped over the body of his Slayer. Buffy couldn't sleep, she was too hurt, angry and most of all repulsed. All she wanted to do was shower for a week and then go home, home to Spike and Dawn. God she thought... would he still be there with Dawn? Looking over at the bulk that laid across her , she gathered the nerve to inch off the bed and find his cellphone. She had to know. Finally breaking contact and managing to extricate herself from the bed, she found his phone in his jacket. Dialling the number she hoped someone answered .
"Ello?"
"Spike?"
"No its the fucking tooth fairy. What do you want Slayer?"
"Look I'm sorry, Spike my hearts breaking I had no choice. Is Dawn Okay?"
He remained silent for what seemed like eternity
"She's fine.. I don' wanna discuss anything else with you right now "
He hung up


"Well, that was a short call... take it he's still there at your house? Boy never did know when to quit"
Buffy closed her eyes and held her breath. She hoped he would have stayed asleep for the call and well , the rest of the day, no such bloody luck.Buffy needed a plan. She had to get away from him and find a way to be with the love of her life.
"Come here"
Buffy huffed and turned to walk back to the bed . Seeing the sneer on his face, she knew she was in for a world of pain again. As she laid back on the bed and Angelus loomed over her, she shut the world out and focused on the one thing she knew would keep her sane, Spike.


Spike threw the phone across the room and satisfied himself when the plastic shattered . How bloody dare she! Ring to check up on her sis, did she think so little of him? Think he would run out and leave the Niblet alone? Maybe that's what he should do, let the bit get into some unholy trouble, after all , he wasn't her keeper. He was a soddin' vampire and a damn scary one at that! Who am I trying to kid? Bloody ponce is what you are. Came to this shit hole to kill a Slayer and end up mated to the bint. Now your hearts been torn out and she's dancing on it while Angelus gets to fuck her and screw with you again. Well , William , you royally fucked yourself up good and proper this time. Went and got a soul for that bitch. Babysit the sister for her and patrol and kill your own kind for her. You even protect the innocent, the things that are meant to be your bloody food source.You shouldn't of came here and if you have any soddin' intelligence left , you'll get the hell away from here now! Spike stared at the photo of Dawn , Buffy and him all tied up on the sofa, laughing at something. Picking up the frame, he broke it open and took the photo out. Rubbing a thumb across the face of his love, he sniff and held back the tears, finally tucking the picture into his pocket. He ran upstairs and dragged his hold all out from under the bed. He threw as much of his belongings into it, zipped it up and casually threw the bag over one shoulder. He walked out of the bedroom and paused outside Dawns room. He could hear the faint snore from her . " Bye Bit, see you around , keep safe"
Spike ran down the stairs , throwing his blanket over his head and shoulders and ran to his DeSoto. One last look at the place he called home, he turned the car around and sped away.

Buffy felt empty. Numb even.Angelus had punished her for the call she had made by repeatedly raping her. That's how she felt. She held back the tears after the first time. His threat's had made sure of that. He had showered and changed his clothes . Now he stood smirking at her.
"I suggest you go and clean yourself up. You smell like a whore . Can't take you back to the mansion like that" the look of disgust made her flinch.
Buffy walked slowly towards the bathroom.
"Seeing you walk like that makes you look like you have been thoroughly fucked. Did William ever make you walk like that?"
Buffy froze
"No , I didn't think he did, boy always was crap in bed, why do you think Dru always came back to me. Probably still will, she's such a temptress" he laughed as Buffy ran into the bathroom, crying.
Inside the privacy of the bathroom, Buffy let the tears fall, turning the shower on to mask the sounds of her grief. She had to get away from him. Buffy needed a plan. She needed Spike. She had to get away now, before he took her to the mansion. She knew once she was there the opportunity would never arise. Knowing Angelus, he would have his minions follow her everywhere. It was now or never, and never was not something she would contemplate, not with Angelus. Opening the cabinet, she saw some scissors and a razor. She took them out and placed them on the counter. Buffy searched the draws and took out some towels. Realising the door opened outwards, she tied the towels together and then around the door handle. She tied the other end to the shower taps. She was going to do this, she had to. Taking the scissors and the razor into the shower she stood there under the water, shaking, fear and desperation spurring her on.Her last clear thought was of Spike and the pain she had caused him . She winced as the blunt scissors sliced through her wrists. Blood ran down her fingers and dripped off into the water, slowly at first. As the adrenaline flooded her system, it ran faster. Buffy watched her blood mix with the water and swirl around the plug before it disappeared. It wasn't long before she felt light headed and had to put her hands onto the tiled wall to steady herself. As her brain tried to shut down her last thought was to call out to Spike through the claim. Her world went black.

Spike felt a strange sensation rush through him. He had been driving down the freeway, getting the hell away from Sunnydale. His hands jerked and caused him to swerve across the lanes and almost crash into a truck.
"Bloody hell!"
It was her , he was sure of it, but how?
No way was he going back, she could take a dive off the nearest cliff, he was through being her soddin' lapdog.
After a few miles it happened again, only this time he could taste her blood and could feel something that filled him with dread. "Buggerin' bleedin' fuck". Buffy was dying.
Spike swung the car around and headed in the opposite direction.He just hoped he wasn't too late.


Cordelia laid on the bed asleep, her stomach satisfied and full of blood. Darla had laid beside her, offering her companionship and teaching her about vampirism. Exhausted by the nights activities, they had both given in to the call of slumber. Cordelia felt the twinge that had been all too familiar a few days ago. Even in sleep she knew what it was.
A vision
A blonde stood in a shower, blood draining from her body and spilling down into the drain.Pain surrounded her and the smell of her salty tears stung the back of Cordy's throat.The vision showed the blonde fall and split her head open. As she fell, the vision focused on the girls face. Oh God, It's Buffy.
Cordelia woke abruptly . "WHAT THE HELL!" Why was she still getting the visions? "Hey I'm evil now.... did you Powers not get the memo?"
Totally confused , Cordy made her way down to the main room , Dru was sat on the couch playing with her dolls. Cordy rolled her eyes and hoped she could slip past the freak and go back to bed.
"They tell you what you need to know. Keeps Daddy happy. Blood and tears will fall and he will know pain, keep Daddy happy"
So, the crazy bitch knew why she was up and had shared her thoughts. Great! Cordy went and got dressed and went to find Angelus.
Not being used to the pull of a Sire or having been his childe for long, Cordy was going into this blindly. She felt drawn to an underground apartment. She knocked loudly and waited , no answer, maybe she got it wrong. Then the strong scent of blood hit her nose and she knew instantly. Darla had given her a brief run down of vamp dos and donts , so knowing she could enter another vamps lair she leant on the door and barged in.
Angelus was sprawled on the bed naked, his ass beaming at her like a full moon. "Nice view" he didn't stir, mind you, Buffy was in the shower bleeding to death and the hunk of manliness had no idea, Cordy rolled her eyes and slapped his bare ass " Get up and save Buffy" she yelled. Angelus growled at her and turned , fully awake and in game face. Cordy huffed " Buffy ... shower.... blood.... dying... you moron!"
He shot out of the bed, not caring about his state of undress and pulled the door open, well tried to. Finding the door wouldn't open he growled viciously and yanked at the handle, hard. He heard the sounds of material ripping, but the door still wouldn't give. Looking at Cordy, he motioned her to help. She gripped his waist and they pulled the door open.
Buffy laid in a crumpled heap at the foot of the shower. Water cascaded down her face and her blood flowed to the drain slowly. Angelus could hear her heart rate and it was dangerously slow. Gathering her up in his arms he ran her over to his bed and Cordy put pressure on her wrists to stem the flow of blood.
"How on earth did you not smell all that blood?"
"I bit her last night and claimed her, her blood was in my system and the smell was in this room anyway"
"She's probably going to die now"

The door swung open and Spike stood there, his anger radiated off him, aimed at one person, Angelus. It wasn't bad enough that the fucking ponce had made his life a living hell, full of torture , it wasn't bad enough that he had Dru eating out of the palm of his hand and dropping Spike whenever he called to her, even though he knew how much Spike worshipped his 'Dark Princess'. After years of putting up with that crap, he has to take Spikes one true love and devastate the girl. He destroyed her to the point of suicide. That was something Spike was not about to forgive or forget. He was going to make him pay for all eternity.
Spike walked in and pushed Cordy and Angelus away from the unconscious girl. Picking her up he turned for the door. Angelus gave a warning growl. Spike roared back.
Cordy sensed this was some kind of vamp possessive ritual thing and backed away . "Wise bird " Spike muttered as he faced Angelus, still clutching the half dead slayer to his chest. "Now you do the same"
"That's my girl you have there William, put her down"
"This is the thing mate, my girl , always will be, why do you think she did this?"
Angelus snarled
"Didn't think you'd have a come back for that so if you get your honkin' fat ass out the way I'll go and do what I do best and save the bint"
Cordy pulled Angelus back enough to give Spike the room he needed to get out of the door.
Once he was out Spike ran to his car and put her in the back. He put his foot down and raced her to the hospital, putting all of his focus on her heart beat, hoping it didn't stop .He made it to the hospital and ran in through the emergency room doors. A nurse aproached him with caution and they took Buffy into side room. Spike growled when she tried to stop him from entering, the woman soon backed down at the sight of his fangs and amber eyes. Buffy was hooked up to several monitors and had three intravenous drips going into her arm. She had to have a blood transfusion and would be in hospital for a while. The nurse asked for Buffy's details and then asked why she had tried to take her own life.That stumped him. Oh well he thought .... "Her ponce of a boyfriend, he dumped her and she got with an abusive prick , her Mum died recently and she had a near death experience herself" That just about covered it. If in doubt tell the bloody truth, even if it does sound far fetched. Spike felt the tingle , family was close.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing here?"
"Is she gonna be okay?"
"Go home Cordelia, tell that wanker of a Sire of yours to keep away too"
"I'm not here for him..... I wanna know that Buffy's okay and well , there's something different about me, I think Angelus knows and I'm scared"
"She'll be fine"
Spike looked at Buffy his concern for her there on his face for all to see.
"How did you come back wrong then luv"
"I still get the visions the Powers give me, I knew about Buffy trying this. They showed me it, like I was meant to stop it"
"Right"
"I don't feel like there's just the vampire demon in me either, there's something else, like pure or something"
"Not a soul then?"
"No"
"I suggest you keep away from Angelus Dru and that bitch Darla"
"Actually Darla has been really good to me, I know she knows, but she's not punishing me and she seems to be protecting me from Dru"
"Well, the bitch was human again, could be she still misses her heartbeat. Look, stay here with us and we'll work something out once Buffy's awake "
"Spike?"
"Hmmm?"
"You love her don't you?"
"More than anything"


Angelus strolled into the emergency department and asked the young nurse at the desk for Buffy's room number. After flirting with the girl , she finally told him where she was.Angelus sniffed the bouquet he had bought her and took the elevator up to the floor she was on. He paused outside of her room and heard Spike talking to Cordy. He pulled his frame up to full height and pushed the door open. Buffy looked so frail . Spike stood up ready to attack , growling his rage at Angelus in a hope that the pompous git would just leave.As far as Spike was concerned this was his fault and he had no right to be there.
But there was something odd about him. Cordy noticed it. His eyes had a soft look about them and his usual smug attitude and trademark smirk was missing.Could he possibly be back to plain old broody Angel?
Spike gazed on him with suspicion.No way was he letting the wanker see his girl alone. Cordy tried to reason with Spike, saying that she was sure this was Angel and not his evil alter ego. Spike shook his head and was adamant he wasn't leaving the room whilst Angel/Angelus was anywhere in the vicinity. Little did he bank on Cordy's persuasiveness and after an hour of non stop bitching, he finally agreed to stand just outside the door. 'God' he thought, 'I'm such a weak git when it comes to naggin' bints'
Deciding that he could do with a fag and a spot of fresh air, he stood outside the E.R doors. Cordy stood just outside Buffy's door listening for the first sign of trouble.

Angelus sat beside the bed and looked at the bandaged wrists and very black and extremely large bruise Buffy had on her forehead. Shame overwhelmed him and tears fell. He tried to give her a nudge back to consciousness through his claim, only to find it didn't work. Buffy slumbered on. While he sat there thinking back over everything , a nurse came in to check her vitals. After the checks were done and the nurse had written her stats in the folder, she smiled and vacated the room. Angelus rested his head on her pillow and breathed in her scent. He whispered into her ear and watched as her eye lids fluttered but stayed shut. There were signs of recognition. A good sign . He continued talking to her in a hope that it would spur Buffy on back .
Spike returned from his cigarette break and peered into the room. He watched as Angelus talked to her. This was definitely the soul back in charge he thought. Only Angel could be that much of a wankering poof. Softening up, Spike walked in and sat the other side of Buffy, staring back at Angel.
"Thank you for letting me visit her. I cant tell you how much it means to me. I'm sorry for everything William. "
Spike snorted
"Once Buffy has pulled out of this I'll leave , I won't bother you two again."
Spike looked at his girl and then back to Angel, his face tense and his temple about ready to pop, he took a deep breath " Bloody right you will"
"I can't apologise enough to you and Buffy, I don't know why I did it, I guess I was jealous "
Spike still sat silent, his hand holding Buffy's and his thumb stroking a knuckle
"If I thought it would bring her back and if I thought it would make things right with us again , I'd dust right now"
Spike shook his head "You don't get to be the noble prick this time"
Angel looked up at Spike "Tell me how to make this better, right, I can't believe I made her do this"
"How the fuck can you sit there and say that? Take a good look at her mate, the state of her... THAT is what you do, it's all you've ever done!"
Angel was blubbering like a five year old girl "I want to help , tell me what to do, I can't stand the thought that she might die, because of me. I love her so much Spike. I try not to but I can't stop. Help me. I feel the darkness in me and it's trying to claw it's way out. Help me to fight it William"
"I can't not now" Spike flexed his muscles, in a bid to stop himself from ripping his head off "If I did I'd be a bloody hypocrite and I won't pretend I care"