Who? What? Huh?

Title: Who? What? Huh?
Author: Margie
Rating: NC-17 (for the naughty sex parts)
Pairing: X/S
Summary: w sow some challenges on Scorpio's website
(http://members.tripod.com/sentinel-cat/Scorpio/id207.htm), and they
sounded good so here I am. It's basically Freaky Friday in the
buffyverse (with some swimming lessons mixed in).
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Joss owns it all damn him!
Feedback: Yes please! margaritagomez1@msn.com
Archive: If you want it just email me to tell me where it's going. It will
eventually be on my own website when I get the chance to update
(www.angelfire.com/indie/margarks/index.html)

Author's Note: This is my first X/S story, and I'm not usually an nc-17
girl, so hopefully you'll bare with me...In my crazy mixed up world
Anya is gone, for really no reason (not that I didn't like her, but X/S is
just too yummy).

***

Chapter 1 - The Big Switch

Xander juggled the pizza boxes into his left hand, grabbing the
doorknob with his right. The bell jingled as he entered, and he threw
everyone one of his goofy Xander smiles.

"How are my favorite girls tonight?" He waggled his eyebrows at
them, setting the boxes down in the middle of the research table. \ bri bring sustenance." He waved his hand in a flourish.

"Thank god! I'm starving!" Dawn reached for the first piece she could
get her hands on. The others digging in right after.

"So who's the big bad tonight?" Xander asked as he plopped into a
seat.

"I'm the only Big Bad in town." Spike answered with a growl.

"Yeah right fangless. You wish." Xander turned in his seat to face
the blonde menace. "More like the Big Biteless."

"Xander stop it!" Dawn threw a punch at his shoulder. "Leave Spike
alone."

"Thanks bit. But I can defend myself." Spike bristled at the thought of
a mortal, a teenage girl at that, having to defend him against the
whelp.

"Be that as it may, it would be most helpful if you two could get back
to researching rather than disrupting the whole group." Giles pointed
out.

"Sorry G-man. What are we researching again?"

"Xander, I've asked you to please not call me that." Giles reached up
for his glasses pulling out the handkerchief he carried in his pocket.
"As we were discussing before your timely arrival, there seems to be
a lot of activity around the Sunnydale Park as of la In In the vicinity of
the Sunnydale Lake as a matter of fact."

"Ooh! So what are we talking here G-man? Mermaids?" Xander
gave Giles one of his more hopeful smiles.

"No you stupid git! And don't look so bloody hopeful. It's not like they
look anything like that Ariel bird." Spike answered.

"Spike's right Xander. Though I don't want to know what he was
doing watching the Little Mermaid." Willow put in, quirking here
eyebrow slightly. "From what I've read mermaids aren't as pretty as
most people think they are."

"Mmhmm." Giles cleared his throat. "Can we please get back to the
subject?" He gave each of his errant children a patented glare. "To
answer your question Xander, from all accounts it seems as if we are
dealing with a small water dragon."

"Yipes! A dragon?"

"Don't worry Xander, that's what I'm here for." Buffy gave him a
reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Spike snorted.

Buffy glared at him. "What's your problem?"

"Yeah. That's what you're here for alright. Buffy the baby dragon
slayer." He sing-songed at her.

"It's not a baby! It's just little." She turned to her watcher with a
worried frown. "It's not a baby is it?"

"Well...it is most likely quite young." Buffy's frown deepened. "But
you won't actually have to slay it. We can probably get it to move
an
an unpopulated area, or just send it back to its own dimension." Giles
reassured her.

"Hence the research." Willow piped in.

"Well, okay then." Buffy agreed, swiping another piece of pizza from
the almost empty boxes.

Xander pulled the closest book toward him, opening it up to search
for things water, dragon, or water dragon related.
e fie first book turned out to be a big flop, so he reached for another.
Before starting up on this one he decided to take a short break,
heading for the kitchenette and hopefully a can of coke.

Walking back into the room he noticed that everyone still had their
noses to the grindstones. Willow and Tara each had a book in hand.
Buffy was at least pretending to read the book in front of her, though
she was most likely just flipping pages. Damn but that girl hated
research! And the Dawnster was studiously studying the pictures of
different dragon types splayed out in front of her. He smiled at the
picture his girls made.

Across the room he could hear Giles and Spike having a quiet
conversation. Probably Giles' negotiation for whatever water dragon
information Spike might have.

Xander took a moment to study the bleached menace. Spike had
really been getting on his last nerve lately. It seemed like every time
they were in the same room together fireworks were going off. And
not the good pretty colored kind. More like the ouch burning need to
head for the hospital kind.

Willow and Dawn had both been trying to get him to lighten up on the
chipped wonder, but he just couldn't seem to calm the aggravation.
Last week he'd actually almost hit him. He couldn't believe it. If you'd
have asked him a month ago, he would have said he'd never do
anything to hurt a defenseless...well...creature. But Spike just
brought all his emotions to the forefront and before he knew what was
happening he'd pulled his arm back and fisted his hand.

Luckily Willow had separated them before anything could happen. At
least luckily for Spike. For Xander, that meant flying across the room
and landing in a heap at the foot of one of Giles' bookcases. Willow
really needed to practice a bit more subtlety in her spells!

What scared him the most about the incident was that he could see
shades of his father whenever he looked in the mirror lately. He just
couldn't understand what was driving him to hate the blonde so much.
Well, besides the obvious. Evil vampire. Murderer. Undead guy.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when said vampire walked over
and grabbed the coke out of his hands.

"Hey!" Xander tried to snag the can back.

Spike tilted his head back and took a swig from the coke. "Thanks
mate." He smirked at the whelp before handing him back the empty
can.

"You mooching undead leech!"

"Sticks and stones pet."

"You want sticks and stones?" Xander cried. He grabbed the first
thing that was handy, which happened to be one of the shop's
imported hand carved African stakes.

Xander stalkenacinacingly toward Spike, who was still smirking at
him. "You think you can dust me pet?" Spike's eyes swept up and
down Xander's body, making him flush hotly. "You may have the
stick, but you definitely don't have the stones."

"Argh!" Xander charged.

"Xander stop!" Dawn's cry did nothing to slow Xander's movement.

"Separare!" Willow's eyes glowed black for just a moment.

Not again! Xander prepared himself for the inevitable flinging across
the room. Instead he felt a dizzying sensation, and then he was
watching everything as if in a dream. He could see himself slumping
to the ground next to Spike's already slumped form. The others were
up and out of their seats running toward them.

He looked around wondering what was going on. What had
happened to them? He felt a presence and turned to see nothing.
But he was sure that he could feel someone there.

He turned back to the scene on the ground. It looked as if both he
and Spike were still unconscious.

Merciful Zues! Am I dead? Xander went to pat his body, before
realizing that he didn't have a body. Is this what death is like?

He noticed the others talking but couldn't really make out what they
were saying. He could see Tara holding his wrist, probably looking
for a pulse. She said something to Willow who seemed to slump in
relief.

Well I guess I'm not dead then. He could see Dawn hovering near
Spike, wondering how she was supposed to check on his status.
Guess if he's not dust, he must still be unliving.

He focused on Spike trying to see if the bleached wonder was waking
up at all. When suddenly he felt that same dizzying sensation. Then
he felt as if he were hurtling back toward the ground.

"Ungh." He groaned blinking his eyes rapidly. His head was
pounding. The girls were all sitting around him asking if he was okay.
"I'm fine. Wills what kind of wacky spell was that?"

At the same time he could hear Spike stirring beside him. "Dozy bird!
What did you do now? Why is it always me that gets hit with the
mojo?"

Xander turned to find all four girls and one Giles staring at him
incredulously.

"X-xander?" Tara was the first to speak.

"Yeah?"

"Eeep!" Willow's face turned a bright red and she focused pleading
and apologetic eyes on him.

"What's wrong Wills?" He reached a hand out toward her. And then
quickly snapped it back.

Said hand was pale. Very pale. And the arm was covered with worn
black leather. He turno hio his right to check on Spike, only to
see...well...himself! "Who? What? HUH?"