The Witch, The Warrior, and the Vampire

Part 5
The Real World

Blearily, the occupants of Revello Drive woke and prepared to start their day. One full bathroom for four girls was not the most ideal living situation, and they had staggered shower times appropriately. Willow grumbled in the shower resentfully at having to get up first. The aroma of fresh coffee hit her senses as she finished getting dressed. ‘Well, at least I didn’t have to make the coffee,’ she thought and made her way downstairs for breakfast.

In the kitchen, she found Tara sitting at the island sipping a mug of coffee and Spike at the stove, making omelets. “Oi, Red, wha’ya’want in your omelet?”

“What ya got?” she asked as she made a mug of coffee, heavy on the sugar, and triple on the vanilla creamer.

“Cheddar or american, onions, mushrooms, peppers, and bacon,” he listed, carefully cracking two eggs into a small mixing bowl.

“Everything.”

Tara was already eating a cheese-only omelet and Willow watched amazed as Spike expertly whipped up two eggs, added milk, salt and pepper, and poured the contents into the pan. Her coffee wasn’t cool enough yet, so she added a small piece of ice and sat at the island stirring it, eyes still focused on Spike. When the omelet was halfway done, Spike added a little bit of all the ingredients he had laid out on the counter next to the stove. A few minutes later he expertly folded it, and minutes after that he flipped it. By the time Willow had finished her first cup of coffee and finished making the second, Spike slid a plate in front of her with a picture perfect omelet, all the way down to the parsley garnish.

“Spike,” Dawn yelled from upstairs.

“Bit,” Spike shouted back as he went to the fridge, found his blood and filled a mug, and slid it into the microwave.

“Cheese and meat only, be down before it’s done.” Feet thundered back in the direction of her bedroom.

“Bloody well feel like a short order cook,” he grumbled as he dutifully began making Nibblet’s breakfast. While Dawn’s omelet was cooking, he rummaged through the refrigerator again. Pleased, he came back out with a grapefruit, found a knife and peeled the grapefruit, finished Nibblet’s breakfast just as she walked in the door, “No coffee for you until you drink your milk.” He then sectioned out the grapefruit making sure all the skin was off the juicy bits. A timer dinged and Spike removed a pot of water from the stove. Pouring the boiling contents into the sink, he then ran cold water over the egg.

Tara and Willow were watching his every move like a hawk and it was starting to unnerve him. He peeled the egg, cut it in half and lightly salted and peppered it. Just as he finished, Buffy walked in the kitchen. “Yuck, I don’t know how you people can eat all this grease for breakfast,” she grumbled as she poured her own coffee.

“That’s why you’re eating this before you go to work, luv,” Spike proudly stated as he presented her with the grapefruit and hard-boiled egg.

“Oh,” was all she said as started to dig in.

“What’s this all about, Spike? I mean can we expect breakfast like this every day?” Willow wanted to know.

“While you birds were sleeping last night I did some snooping around Buffy’s financial files.” Buffy looked sharply at Spike and was about to yell at him when he continued.

“We’re 30 days short of losing the house, 15 days before we lose power, phone, and cable. Bank’s gonna get the Jeep in another week, too. I’ve worked the numbers every way I can, and there’s no way Buffy can make it on her Doublemeat salary. I can’t chip in with rent and grocery money or anything, but I figured I could make myself useful and run the house. Do the shopping, cooking, pay the bills, keep it clean and all that. But you girls have got to chip in.”

Shocked and dismayed, Willow turned frightened eyes to Buffy, “Is this true?”

“I didn’t know I was down to thirty days, but yeah… Look, I’ve got to go before I’m late and get fired. You guys--come up with something.” Buffy left the house with Dawn in tow.

Willow looked back and forth between Spike and Tara before she began. “I didn’t know, really. My parents give me an allowance of sorts. $500 a month. I’m supposed to be living on campus. It never occurred to me that Buffy needed money that badly.”

“Why in the bloody hell do you think she works at that degrading job that sucks the life out of her? For fun? S’only fucking place in town the Slayer could get hired. I’ve tried to give her money myself, but she won’t take it from me. Not earned by an honest living and all that rot. Don’t know what’s wrong with shooting pool and playing poker. At least I’m not stealing.” Willow looked down at her omelet as she listened to Spike; suddenly she wasn’t nearly as hungry.

Tara shyly spoke up. “Exams are this week and then the money I’ve been sending to school for room and board will be freed up.”

“Sweetie, that’s your student loan money, and if you don’t take summer classes you won’t get anymore.”

“Oh yeah,” she dejectedly stared into her coffee.

“S’not gonna be time for you lot to get summer jobs, with all the training and probably fighting we’re gonna be doin’ all summer.” Worry etched the lines of his handsome face, “Buffy probably hasn’t told anyone the extent of her money problems. All of mum’s insurance is gone, took most of it for medical bills and the burial. The girls haven’t heard a word from Daddy Dearest since mum died. He knows she’s gone though. Bastard hasn’t sent an alimony check since then. And the child support? He’s got to know Buffy’s not in school anymore ‘cause he’s only sending in the amount designated for Dawn."

“How much is that?” Tara asked.

“$300 per month. Nibblet eats that much by herself, not to mention she’s outgrown all her clothes.”

“She has?” Willow looked shocked.

“Are you bloody people blind? Of course she has. Neither of the girls has gotten any new clothes since mum died, and Dawn’s grown four inches since then. Haven’t you noticed all her bloody pants look like highwaters? Kids at school have started making fun of her ‘cause of it.”

Willow and Tara both looked down guiltily; embarrassed at being so wrapped up in their own lives that they hadn’t noticed something as obvious as Dawn’s clothes not fitting.

Spike had worked himself into a fury at thisnt. nt. “And those bleedin’ Watchers, you think they’ve ever given Buffy a dime? They’ve never even paid her damn medical expenses, and neither of them have health insurance. What if one of ‘em gets injured or sick? Now, if I had some papers, I’d go out and get a job of some sort, if I could find one. But since I can only work at night, that’d leave Buffy patrolling alone. Figured least I could do was run the house.” He ignored the no smoking in the house rule and lit up a cigarette. “You witches have any ideas on what we can do to help before we’re all starving and homeless?” He fixed his steely blue gaze on the two women who sat at the counter in front of him.

“M-maybe Giles could help, or make the Council pay her…he doesn’t know about it though does he, and if he doesn’t know, he can’t do anything” Willow started to realize the many burdens Buffy had been battling since she came back.

“Gonna go talk to Rupes today while she’s at work. Maybe he can come up with something,” Spike replied and crushed out his cigarette. “We’ve got enough food to last the week, but Buffy doesn’t get paid again till next Friday.”

As Tara and Willow gathered up their school stuff, Tara said, “Spike, you talk to Giles and we’ll try to think of something too.” The witches went to school and Spike cleaned up the breakfast mess, did the laundry, cleaned the house, and racked his brain trying to come up with a solution. He glanced at the clock and realized that Giles was probably back from picking up the new Slayer from the airport. Grabbing his blanket, he made his way to the Magic Box to have a man to man with Giles.

Xander went to work while Anya got the marriage license, picked up the wedding d and and tux, and made an appointment with the Magistrate for a ceremony at 6:00 that evening.

Angel left Connor in Ryvr and Cordelia’s capable hands and went the Magic Box to tell Giles about Cordelia’s vision.

Morgaine gathered up her luggage cleaned up the mess she’d made in the crypt, and made her way to the Magic Box to meet up with the group from London and find her new home.

Giles, James, Bridget and Maggie were seated around the table at the Magic Box, discussing the prophetic dream Maggie had had on the flight in. “I felt it last night when it happened. An old enemy, indeed. The Master killed Buffy, you know, and out of everything she’s ever faced, The Master is the one that still gives her nightmares. I’m afraid this prophecy is turning out worse than even I had expected.” Giles explained.

A smoking Spike ran into the Magic Box. Maggie shrieked and grabbed a stake, but James held her back. “This is Spike, we told you about him. Do not hurt him.”

Maggie stood down, but barely. Her Slayer senses were going wild, demanding she kill the beast in front of her.

“Watchers,” Spike nodded at the table “I need to talk to the two of you alone right now.” He went straight to Giles’ office, lit up a cigarette and began pacing as he waited for the men.

“Yes, Spike we’re aware The Master rose last night,” Giles started.

“Bugger the Master. We’ve time for that later. Right now I want to know what the bloody hell you’re going to do to keep Buffy and Dawn from being homeless and starving to death.”

“Good lord Spike, whatever are you talking about?” Giles looked utterly bewildered; Spike gritted his teeth against the cigarette and prayed for the strength to deal with the utter blindness of the people he seemed to be surrounded by.

“Her finances mate. Let me spell it out for you. Insurance money? Gone, doctors and funeral directors took it all. Child support, alimony? That bastard no one has ‘eard from since Joyce got sick? He knows Joyce is dead ‘cause he quit sending alimony. He knows Buffy’s not in school anymore ‘cause he quit sending child support for her. That leaves Buffy trying to make it on minimum wage with an additional $300 child support for Dawn.” He crushed out the first cigarette and immediately lit a second.

“Bank’s gonna to take back the Jeep next week, and the house at the end of the month. Power, phone, and cable are going at the end of the month as well. Slayer won’t take any money from me, and Red and Glinda don’t have any to help pay expenses.” Spike threw himself into a chair, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and stared Giles right in the eye.

“There’s only enough food to last out the week, $6.29 in the Slayer’s checking account, Nibblet’s outgrown all her soddin’ clothes, and did you know neither of the girls have bleedin’ health insurance? What I want to know is why those soddin’ bastards Buffy works for have never paid her one fucking cent? When this prophecy starts up, Buffy isn’t going to be able to work, slay and care for Dawn. What are you going to do about it?” Spike punctuated the “you” by gesturing towards James and Giles with his cigarette, its glowing tip serving as an exclamation point.

“Rupert, what happened to the money in Buffy’s trust fund,” James quietly asked.

“Trust fund?” Giles and Spike exclaimed together.

James had the gall to actually start laughing. Notn thn the deadly stare from Spike could make him quit. “The Council never ceases to amaze me in their duplicity. Each time a Slayer is called, the Council opens a Swiss account for them and deposits One Million pounds into it. The money is to be used by the Watcher to care for the Slayer, but once, or shall I say if she reaches the age of 21 the money is hers free and clear to do with what she wants. I expect that since Buffy had parents, the Council decided to not make her or you aware of the money. When the Slayer dies, the council deposits an additional hundred thousand pounds in the account as survivor benefits to the family, were she to have any.”

“So you’re saying there’s an account it Switzerland with Buffy’s name on it, containing one million two hundred thousand pounds, plus interest, and all she has to do is claim it?” Spike asked, genuinely shocked. His day’s task hadn’t been so hard after all.

“Well, I don’t know about the two hundred thousand pounds, but since she has technically died twice, I would presume so,” James replied.

Giles’ face was relieved and thunderous at the same time. “Those bastards. I’ll call the Council immediately and get the numbers so Buffy can pay her bills. Wait until I get my hands on Quentin Travers…” he muttered as he went to make the phone call.

Relieved, Spike finally relaxed and took the measure of the new Watcher. He was approximately the same age as Giles and the most unremarkable man he’d ever met. He was medium height, medium weight, medium brown hair, with medium brown eyes. Only the bright spark of intelligence in the eyes distinguished him.

“So you’re the new Slayer’s Watcher, then.” Suspicion and curiosity shone from Spike’s piercing blue eyes.

“And you’re William the Bloody, part of the Scourge of Europe, favorite child of Angelus, favorite child of Darla, descended from the Master himself, Line of Aurelius. Better known as Spike, now neutered vampire and consort of the Slayer.” Amusement sparked in his features when Spike growled at being called neutered.

“I’ll have you know right now, I’m not neutered anymore,” as if to prove his point Spike stood nose to nose with the watcher. “And if you endanger my girls in anyway while you’re here, I’ll rip your soddin’ throat out. Now you make like a nice Watcher, ignore that bloody Council and their shady dealings, I’ll help you train your Slayer so that she’ll live to see her 21st birthday like Buffy did.”

The two men met each other’s eyes for a long moment. “Agreed,” James said happily and offered his hand to Spike. Spike gladly took it, and squeezed just a little bit harder than he should have. But the two men seemed to understand each other, and as long as they both had their Slayers’ best interests at heart, Spike had a feeling they would get along fine.

They returned to the front of the shop just in time to see Giles slam down the phone. “Bloody bastards, the lot of them. I’ve the numbers for Buffy’s account. I’m going to go to her work and tell her. I bet she walks out on them,” he said as he turned to walk out the door when Angel entered, much as Spike had, blanket over his head and smoking.

“Guess this one’s good too, huh?” Maggie said, not even reaching for her stake. James made a mental note to talk to her about her blind trust of the new arrival.

“More or less. Wouldn’t hurt my feelings if you staked him though,” Spike grumbled.

“Giles!” Angel exclaimed. “Cordelia had a vision…”

Giles interrupted, “Yes, yes, the Master’s back. We know. Maggie and Buffy dreamed it last night. The rest of us felt it as well. If you’ll excuse me,” and he headed out the door to give Buffy the best news he’d ever had for her.

“Guess I didn’t need to risk the sun after all,” Angel sheepishly said extending his hand to James. “Nice to meet you. I’m Angel. I’m not going to be here to help with the battle; we’re leaving tonight. If you like I can show you to the mansion where you’ll be staying.”

Morgaine walked in the door, luggage in tow. “Wonderful, I’d like to settle in.” She nodded to the assembled group in greeting. “Would you take us there, Angel?” The group from London followed Angel, leaving Spike alone in the shop.

“Guess I’ll mind the bloody shop then,” Spike grumbled, and waited for Giles and Buffy to return. Hours later they still hadn’t, but Tara, Willow, and Dawn had arrived and Spike told them the money problems were over, but not that Buffy was now a very rich woman. After all, he didn’t want anyone to take advantage of her.

Tara, Willow, and Dawn settled in to study for their final exams. They each had a week of school left. Spike was looking through one of the many new books that James had brought from England when Giles and Buffy arrived. Both looked exhausted and Buffy was still in her Doublemeat uniform.

“How’d it go, luv?”

“Everyone, you’re now looking at an independently wealthy woman. We transferred the money into Sunnydale National, paid off the Jeep, the mortgage, caught up all the utilities and taxes, and paid off all the credit cards. I’ve made out a will so Dawn will get everything when I’m gone, without having to fight the Council for it.

“I went to see Xander at work. They’re going to add another bathroom onto the house, a mudroom off the kitchen, and do all the repairs I’ve been unable to pay for; they’ll start next week.” Pride shone in Buffy’s eyes. “And I quit my job. I’m officially a Slayer full-time!”

Dawn was jumping up and down squealing; Tara and Willow were both shocked since Spike hadn’t indicated she’d gotten that much money.

“Oh Buffy, that’s fantabulous!” Willow threw herself onto Buffy, who still had a bouncing Dawn in her arms. “But we’re still going to help out, with the bills and groceries and stuff,” she added quickly, not wanting to once again be a burden on Buffy.

“Yes, you will. But if you can’t help now it’s OK.” Giles and Spike stood uncomfortably apart while the girls hugged each other ecstatically. When Willow finally called out “Slayer muscles, ow!” Buffy released her grip on her friends.


“All right everybody, we’ve got a wedding to get to in two hours. Why don’t we go get ready?” Buffy suggested.