Altered Perception
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
4,992
Reviews:
12
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
4,992
Reviews:
12
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer of any of the characters contained within. I make no monies from these writings.
Longing
Longing
Xander watched Giles escape the room and wiped the dampness from his own face, he had watched the interactions between his loved ones non-stop since Bob had told him that all he could really do was wait. Although it was obvious that a number of days had passed for them, it was hard to judge how many exactly due to the lack of windows in the hospital room but guessing from the number of outfit changes he saw and visits from Dawnie he was guessing at about 8 days total. Time seemed to move differently here, he felt like he’d only been here for a few hours although he had watched a week or so pass on the large screen. He didn’t feel hungry or the need to use a bathroom, maybe those were just things that he didn’t need to worry about here. He’d have to ask Bob when he came back.
Xander still wasn’t sure what to make of everything Bob had told him, he loved Spike and from what he had seen and heard over the last few days on screen Spike loved him, but the idea of being important in the apparently impending apocalypse terrified him. He was a nobody, why anyone would think he could do anything was beyond him. Personally he thought that the Powers that Be A Pain in the Ass as he had taken to calling them in his head had gotten something wrong but he wasn’t about to say anything just yet, after all he still wanted to get home.
As he watched Spike move around his hospital room, securing the blanket around his still body and brushing a stray lock of hair back from his face he felt a longing to be able to touch him back. To reassure him that he felt the same way. He couldn’t imagine what it would feel like, to be with Spike in that way. To be able to kiss him, touch him, for the dreams that had plagued him for years of him writhing under Spike as he drove into him with powerful strokes or the reverse, Spike panting and pleading under his ministrations for Xander to fuck him, to touch him, put his mouth on him, anything provided he could find elusive release. He heard a chuckle from behind him and whirled to see Bob standing there, still dressed in Jedi robes and still looking like Alec Guinness.
“I know you want to be there, but at the moment your destiny is still somewhat undecided Xander. Still, things are progressing nicely in the right direction and it’s looking positive for you.” Bob smiled genially “so, you hungry? Can we get you anything to drink or perhaps you want to rest?” “Actually I meant to ask about that, I’ve not really needed to do anything, human since getting here. What’s up with that?” Bob smiled again, “it’s the whole ideal construct thing I’ve told you about. This place? It’s what you make it, you decide on its appearance, what you need whilst you’re here. Obviously you’ve decided that the more mundane aspects of mortality are not necessary here”. Xander still struggled with the idea that this whole place was apparently from his imagination, he was sure that if it were there would be lots of skimpily dressed women walking around and maybe a shirtless Spike.
“It’s not like that, this isn’t heaven Xander. We’ve already established that you’re not dead, sure many people who come here imagine it to be their version of heaven but as I believe I’ve already said, you are unique Xander.” Xander shrugged off the comment, he wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or not “So there is a heaven? Like a real heaven with clouds, angels and all that stuff?” Bob looked at him sadly, “yes, there is a heaven. It’s not exactly what you described though. It’s more, abstract, than that. Now, do you want to ask the question that’s been on your mind since we got on the topic?” Xander scowled, “you know, that whole knowing what I’m thinking is getting a little annoying” Bob laughed at that “I don’t know what your thinking Xander, but you forget that I’ve been watching you for over 5 years now. You’re not that hard to read, when you know the signs” Sighing Xander relented, “OK, whatever you say, it’s probably a good thing you cant hear what I’m thinking anyway” he blushed as he recalled what was running through his mind when Bob had appeared “OK so you apparently know what I want to know, so tell me… Is Buffy in heaven?”
AN – OK so another short chapter, but I’m working on the next 3 all at the same time so expect a triple posting at some point tomorrow.
Xander watched Giles escape the room and wiped the dampness from his own face, he had watched the interactions between his loved ones non-stop since Bob had told him that all he could really do was wait. Although it was obvious that a number of days had passed for them, it was hard to judge how many exactly due to the lack of windows in the hospital room but guessing from the number of outfit changes he saw and visits from Dawnie he was guessing at about 8 days total. Time seemed to move differently here, he felt like he’d only been here for a few hours although he had watched a week or so pass on the large screen. He didn’t feel hungry or the need to use a bathroom, maybe those were just things that he didn’t need to worry about here. He’d have to ask Bob when he came back.
Xander still wasn’t sure what to make of everything Bob had told him, he loved Spike and from what he had seen and heard over the last few days on screen Spike loved him, but the idea of being important in the apparently impending apocalypse terrified him. He was a nobody, why anyone would think he could do anything was beyond him. Personally he thought that the Powers that Be A Pain in the Ass as he had taken to calling them in his head had gotten something wrong but he wasn’t about to say anything just yet, after all he still wanted to get home.
As he watched Spike move around his hospital room, securing the blanket around his still body and brushing a stray lock of hair back from his face he felt a longing to be able to touch him back. To reassure him that he felt the same way. He couldn’t imagine what it would feel like, to be with Spike in that way. To be able to kiss him, touch him, for the dreams that had plagued him for years of him writhing under Spike as he drove into him with powerful strokes or the reverse, Spike panting and pleading under his ministrations for Xander to fuck him, to touch him, put his mouth on him, anything provided he could find elusive release. He heard a chuckle from behind him and whirled to see Bob standing there, still dressed in Jedi robes and still looking like Alec Guinness.
“I know you want to be there, but at the moment your destiny is still somewhat undecided Xander. Still, things are progressing nicely in the right direction and it’s looking positive for you.” Bob smiled genially “so, you hungry? Can we get you anything to drink or perhaps you want to rest?” “Actually I meant to ask about that, I’ve not really needed to do anything, human since getting here. What’s up with that?” Bob smiled again, “it’s the whole ideal construct thing I’ve told you about. This place? It’s what you make it, you decide on its appearance, what you need whilst you’re here. Obviously you’ve decided that the more mundane aspects of mortality are not necessary here”. Xander still struggled with the idea that this whole place was apparently from his imagination, he was sure that if it were there would be lots of skimpily dressed women walking around and maybe a shirtless Spike.
“It’s not like that, this isn’t heaven Xander. We’ve already established that you’re not dead, sure many people who come here imagine it to be their version of heaven but as I believe I’ve already said, you are unique Xander.” Xander shrugged off the comment, he wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or not “So there is a heaven? Like a real heaven with clouds, angels and all that stuff?” Bob looked at him sadly, “yes, there is a heaven. It’s not exactly what you described though. It’s more, abstract, than that. Now, do you want to ask the question that’s been on your mind since we got on the topic?” Xander scowled, “you know, that whole knowing what I’m thinking is getting a little annoying” Bob laughed at that “I don’t know what your thinking Xander, but you forget that I’ve been watching you for over 5 years now. You’re not that hard to read, when you know the signs” Sighing Xander relented, “OK, whatever you say, it’s probably a good thing you cant hear what I’m thinking anyway” he blushed as he recalled what was running through his mind when Bob had appeared “OK so you apparently know what I want to know, so tell me… Is Buffy in heaven?”
AN – OK so another short chapter, but I’m working on the next 3 all at the same time so expect a triple posting at some point tomorrow.