Tears of the Soul

"You want me to come with you right now and to leave everything behind?" Xander asked unbelievingly.


"You don´t have to hurry, we are here with our private jet. It is ok if you first want to pack some things from your apartment; although you don´t have to do that because you know that we will buy you anything you might need or want. You don´t have to worry about nothing no more." Angel explained confident.


"You just don´t get it do you? I have a life here now and I can´t just come with you and leave that behind. And let us face the facts, why would I even want to, just think about what you fucking did to me, what you put me through." Xander told them angrily.


"Baby, we love you and we are truly sorry that we didn´t trusted you back then..." Spike never got to finish his sentence.


"I can only imagine too good why your sorry now, after all your getting older and it´s cold when your lonely, isn´t it?" Xander spat out foulmouthed.


"Oh baby that´s not it. We are really sorry about what happened and we love you so very much, we need you in our life. Don´t you want the same? Don´t you want to come to live with us? Before this night everything between us was fine and we had a perfect life together. Don´t you miss that? Don´t you miss us, don´t you love us?" An uneasy Angel questioned Xander.


"Please, cut the bullshit. Our life sure as hell wasn´t perfect and it wasn´t everything fine between us. We had a lot of problems we never talked about or just ignored, there were many things which were left unsaid, so many things gone wrong and that was all before that night; sooner or later it would have come that way.
Our relationship was lost, cause neither one of us trusted each other.
By the way it is not just about what you need and what you are feeling.
Just try to imagine how I feel, and how can you even ask me if I love you, when you damn well should know the answer.
Can´t you see what you do to me? I mean you were my everything. You were my sun and my earth, I bet you didn´t even know how much, how damn much I loved you.
I always made you feel I don´t need you as much as I really needed you, because I was afraid that you would use it to your advantage, but the truth was that the only way I was able to stay so stable, was that you were the legs to my table, if you would have broken, I would have fallen on my face.
You were essential to me, you were the air I breath, I believed if you ever left me,
I would have no reason to be.
And then on the worst night of my life exactly that happened, you left me and with that you forced me to either give up or to start a new life, without you in it." Xander proclaimed sadly and looked at the ground.


"Xander, you are right with what you are saying. We should have thought about that you have a life here now. But that still doesn´t change that we want you to come with us.
I mean all those days and nights have been lonely without you. We miss your warm touch, your pretty face and your lovely smile.
What shall we do, you are always on our mind. We are thinking and at night dreaming about you all the time.
Since you have been gone, was our only goal in life to find you again and now that we have that accomplished, is there no way for us to let you go again.
We can´t be freed of you and we can´t escape from you. The first time we saw you, you stole our hearts and till today that hasn´t changed, we are still in love with you." Angel declared emotional.


"Do you know what? I even believe you that you still love me but I just don´t know if it is enough anymore. I mean I can only too good remember our past and also the beginning of our relationship. It was wonderful.
I always used to say that I never met someone like you before. And you used to say that all you wanted was for me to be yours. You promised me you would always be there for me and I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me.
It was such a great time but then that night. I never would have thought that I would see you out of control, but I guess I should have seen it coming.
I mean when someone seems to be good to be true they are usually obviously.
I just don´t got a fucking clue right now to who you truly are.
At the moment I just don´t see us together ever again like we used to be, ten
years ago." Xander stated one lonely tear rolling down his cheek.


" I know that it won´t be like it was ten years ago but please give us at least a chance. Xander you know that we can´t let you go, we are incapable of doing that. We love you too much. We can´t live when living is without you." Abgel announced lyrical.


"We are really sorry for what we have done to you and if we could take the pain you were suffering all those years for you, we would gladly do so.
You are the best thing that ever happened to us. Through all those years we were together you gave us so much joy and love.
The first time we heard you laugh it sounded like voices of angels, it clang so bittersweet as if the little angels were singing.
Believe me when I tell you that from now on everytime you need us we will be there.
I know that we two don´t deserve something as special as you and that you deserve much better. You are a gift from god, nothing can ever compare to you." Spike said soulful.


Then Angel and Spike both sat up from the couch and walked over to Xander, who was
now also standing. They came to a halt before him and slowly knelt themselves down.
Spike then took gently Xanders right hand and Angel the left one.
All the while, they looked deep into Xanders eyes.


"Xander all we ask of you is to try and give us another chance. We belong together." Angel began saying.


" Baby for all our life, don´t you know that it´s true, we are living to love you!" Spike said sentimental. And the both of them were now on the verge of tears.


"I don´t know what to say anymore. It is so wonderful to hear you say all those
nice things. Nonetheless I can´t just come with you.
There is something I have to tell you. In my life is someone else now, someone
who is my reason for beeing." A deeply moved Xander told them truthfully.



Please, please, please review, they are what keeps me going!!!
I really had problems with writing this chapter.
I think I got some sort of writers block.
So please let me know what you think about it, and if you want more and if I should continue.