The Soulmate Series
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Het - Male/Female › Angel(us)/Willow
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
49
Views:
10,098
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Het - Male/Female › Angel(us)/Willow
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
49
Views:
10,098
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
In the Garden
In the Garden
The feel of Angel’s tears on her skin and the sound of his sobs have drawn Willow from her slumber, but it is his words which have brought her back to reality.
“I love you.”
These words shatter her last hope that she might be waking up in her own bed, the day’s events nothing more than a hideous nightmare, the result of forgetting to take her sleeping pills. She’s in Angel’s bed, in his arms, her body still aches from his taking, and he still insists he loves her. Still, she notices as she looks into his eyes, he seems more coherent now. Less primitive, less feral. Perhaps she should try to reason with him again, perhaps she can make him remember the truth... perhaps then he’ll let her go.
She tries to speak gently, to keep her desperation out of her voice. “No, Angel. You love Buffy. Don’t you remember? The two of you? You were meant to be. She’s why you came to Sunnydale. It was fate. You fell in love with her at first sight. Can’t you remember that?”
Even as she says it, though, she knows it’s hopeless. Angel is looking at her with his eyes full of love. She recognizes the look. Oz looks at her that way. Or at least he did. After today, she knows she might never see that emotion in her boyfriend’s eyes again, and that realization brings tears to her eyes once more.
She sits up, the bedsheet tucked under her arms, and Angel moves to hold her. She stiffens momentarily and then relents and lets him enfold her in his embrace. It’s easier to just give in. Maybe if she just lets him feel how sad and hurt and anguished she is, he’ll finally understand and he’ll let her go.
She cries until she’s calm again as Angel holds her close. Then, to her surprise, he speaks.
“Why?” There is pain in his voice, as well as curiosity.
She knows exactly what he means. She decides to try and make him see, not his feelings this time, but hers.
“Oz,” she says softly.
He growls and holds her more tightly, but Willow will not be deterred. She manages to push herself away from him far enough to look into his eyes, hoping her determination to be heard can be seen in her own.
“No, Angel. You have to listen to me. I know that when I gave you back your soul, we developed this . . . bond. And I know you think you love me, and maybe you do, I don’t know. But I don’t love you. I have a boyfriend. His name is Oz. I love him.”
She looks at Angel fearfully as she speaks those last words, but, fortunately, his eyes only flicker slightly. He’s in control of himself and she need not fear his rage. The bond gives further reassurance; she senses hurt, but not anger, and she lets go the breath she was holding. She decides to say more, to try to make him understand.
“When you lost your soul, I met . . . not met, ‘cause he goes to school with me and I already knew him, but I got to know Oz and we just clicked, like we were just destined for each other. It’s been perfect ever since, well, except for the whole ‘he’s a werewolf’ thing, but even that isn’t such a big deal . . . What I’m trying to say is that we’re in love. And I know that, when he finds out about what happened today, Oz may not love me anymore. But I still love him. And this,” she gestures to Angel, then to herself, “this bond thing? It doesn’t change how I feel about him. It just makes things more complicated.”
Angel looks at her with those eyes again and Willow’s heart sinks. She knows what she said, so why does she feel no change through the bond? She almost wishes this connection allowed her to read Angel’s thoughts and not just his feelings. Why hasn’t he understood that she doesn’t love him?
Maybe he thinks that she and Oz were merely brought together by the danger they faced from Angelus. Or maybe he’s found comfort in the idea that Oz won’t love her anymore after she tells him about today. She isn’t sure, but she’s not about to ask. Maybe if she acts as though he’s understood what she told him, he will. She doesn’t know what to say, but she has to do something to shatter what has become a very uncomfortable silence.
“Angel?”
“Shhh,” he puts his finger to her lips and lies down, pulling her down with him.
“Angel, no.” She doesn’t want what she thinks is about to happen, but she’s surprised that it’s not what Angel has in mind at all. Instead of kissing and caressing her, Angel simply puts his arm around her as she lies there with her head pillowed against his chest. The silence is back. He just feels, and she feels right along with him.
After a moment, Willow realizes that he’s remembering how he fell in love with her, she can tell by the way the feelings she’s sensing from him are changing. He’s taking her on a sort of emotional ‘tour’ of his time in Hell. It’s terrifying and a bit awe-inspiring as well. He doesn’t overpower her with his emotions, though, not the way he did before, when he . . . they . . . were together the last time, and Willow is grateful for that. That had been almost a violation. This is more like being taken by the hand and led through someone’s garden with her eyes closed; she can tell the flowers by their fragrance, though she can’t see the colours or the details. Still, it’s not a safe or peaceful garden, and Willow can smell the thorns and the wasps and the poisonous snakes that hide here as well as the jasmine and lavender.
She feels so much sorrow for Angel as she continues this journey. It’s obvious that his connection to her was the only ray of hope in the terrible place he had been consigned to and she can see how he became so attached to her because of it. She realizes that, because he clung to it so strongly while he was in Hell, the bond has been strengthened far beyond what it would ever have been had Angel not been sent through that portal upon being cursed again. Cursed . . . For the first time, Willow thinks of the curse, and of the happiness clause. But Angel hasn’t lost his soul, so he must not have been truly happy. Willow feels conflicted about that and she doesn’t understand why. She’s happy that he’s still Angel, though, and she focuses on that. Still, Angel senses her confusion and the tour stops. Then she is hit with feelings that confuse her. Fear, apprehension, a sense of danger. What is Angel afraid of?
There’s someone in the mansion.
“Angel?” Willow hears a familiar voice call out with some trepidation.
Angel puts his finger needlessly to Willow’s lips. She can’t speak, she can’t even move, she just watches, paralyzed in fright, as Angel quickly grabs some slacks from the closet, pulls them on, and exits the room, closing the door softly behind him.
Buffy is here.
Tbc...
The feel of Angel’s tears on her skin and the sound of his sobs have drawn Willow from her slumber, but it is his words which have brought her back to reality.
“I love you.”
These words shatter her last hope that she might be waking up in her own bed, the day’s events nothing more than a hideous nightmare, the result of forgetting to take her sleeping pills. She’s in Angel’s bed, in his arms, her body still aches from his taking, and he still insists he loves her. Still, she notices as she looks into his eyes, he seems more coherent now. Less primitive, less feral. Perhaps she should try to reason with him again, perhaps she can make him remember the truth... perhaps then he’ll let her go.
She tries to speak gently, to keep her desperation out of her voice. “No, Angel. You love Buffy. Don’t you remember? The two of you? You were meant to be. She’s why you came to Sunnydale. It was fate. You fell in love with her at first sight. Can’t you remember that?”
Even as she says it, though, she knows it’s hopeless. Angel is looking at her with his eyes full of love. She recognizes the look. Oz looks at her that way. Or at least he did. After today, she knows she might never see that emotion in her boyfriend’s eyes again, and that realization brings tears to her eyes once more.
She sits up, the bedsheet tucked under her arms, and Angel moves to hold her. She stiffens momentarily and then relents and lets him enfold her in his embrace. It’s easier to just give in. Maybe if she just lets him feel how sad and hurt and anguished she is, he’ll finally understand and he’ll let her go.
She cries until she’s calm again as Angel holds her close. Then, to her surprise, he speaks.
“Why?” There is pain in his voice, as well as curiosity.
She knows exactly what he means. She decides to try and make him see, not his feelings this time, but hers.
“Oz,” she says softly.
He growls and holds her more tightly, but Willow will not be deterred. She manages to push herself away from him far enough to look into his eyes, hoping her determination to be heard can be seen in her own.
“No, Angel. You have to listen to me. I know that when I gave you back your soul, we developed this . . . bond. And I know you think you love me, and maybe you do, I don’t know. But I don’t love you. I have a boyfriend. His name is Oz. I love him.”
She looks at Angel fearfully as she speaks those last words, but, fortunately, his eyes only flicker slightly. He’s in control of himself and she need not fear his rage. The bond gives further reassurance; she senses hurt, but not anger, and she lets go the breath she was holding. She decides to say more, to try to make him understand.
“When you lost your soul, I met . . . not met, ‘cause he goes to school with me and I already knew him, but I got to know Oz and we just clicked, like we were just destined for each other. It’s been perfect ever since, well, except for the whole ‘he’s a werewolf’ thing, but even that isn’t such a big deal . . . What I’m trying to say is that we’re in love. And I know that, when he finds out about what happened today, Oz may not love me anymore. But I still love him. And this,” she gestures to Angel, then to herself, “this bond thing? It doesn’t change how I feel about him. It just makes things more complicated.”
Angel looks at her with those eyes again and Willow’s heart sinks. She knows what she said, so why does she feel no change through the bond? She almost wishes this connection allowed her to read Angel’s thoughts and not just his feelings. Why hasn’t he understood that she doesn’t love him?
Maybe he thinks that she and Oz were merely brought together by the danger they faced from Angelus. Or maybe he’s found comfort in the idea that Oz won’t love her anymore after she tells him about today. She isn’t sure, but she’s not about to ask. Maybe if she acts as though he’s understood what she told him, he will. She doesn’t know what to say, but she has to do something to shatter what has become a very uncomfortable silence.
“Angel?”
“Shhh,” he puts his finger to her lips and lies down, pulling her down with him.
“Angel, no.” She doesn’t want what she thinks is about to happen, but she’s surprised that it’s not what Angel has in mind at all. Instead of kissing and caressing her, Angel simply puts his arm around her as she lies there with her head pillowed against his chest. The silence is back. He just feels, and she feels right along with him.
After a moment, Willow realizes that he’s remembering how he fell in love with her, she can tell by the way the feelings she’s sensing from him are changing. He’s taking her on a sort of emotional ‘tour’ of his time in Hell. It’s terrifying and a bit awe-inspiring as well. He doesn’t overpower her with his emotions, though, not the way he did before, when he . . . they . . . were together the last time, and Willow is grateful for that. That had been almost a violation. This is more like being taken by the hand and led through someone’s garden with her eyes closed; she can tell the flowers by their fragrance, though she can’t see the colours or the details. Still, it’s not a safe or peaceful garden, and Willow can smell the thorns and the wasps and the poisonous snakes that hide here as well as the jasmine and lavender.
She feels so much sorrow for Angel as she continues this journey. It’s obvious that his connection to her was the only ray of hope in the terrible place he had been consigned to and she can see how he became so attached to her because of it. She realizes that, because he clung to it so strongly while he was in Hell, the bond has been strengthened far beyond what it would ever have been had Angel not been sent through that portal upon being cursed again. Cursed . . . For the first time, Willow thinks of the curse, and of the happiness clause. But Angel hasn’t lost his soul, so he must not have been truly happy. Willow feels conflicted about that and she doesn’t understand why. She’s happy that he’s still Angel, though, and she focuses on that. Still, Angel senses her confusion and the tour stops. Then she is hit with feelings that confuse her. Fear, apprehension, a sense of danger. What is Angel afraid of?
There’s someone in the mansion.
“Angel?” Willow hears a familiar voice call out with some trepidation.
Angel puts his finger needlessly to Willow’s lips. She can’t speak, she can’t even move, she just watches, paralyzed in fright, as Angel quickly grabs some slacks from the closet, pulls them on, and exits the room, closing the door softly behind him.
Buffy is here.
Tbc...