Protective Custody (1/20)COMPLETE

(Disclaimer: We own nothing. Joss owns all. You know the drill.)


His near erasure out of existence had overshadowed the Harris boy's most embarrassing moments, as he'd called it. But that kiss was a big pink elephant that neither one had brought up. And Xander's refusal to allow him to contact Buffy was still a source of tension. It frustrated Spike to no end that Xander got the last word on that issue.

And later, Spike had suffered more indignities, courtesy of his brand spanking new body. Bathroom rituals were bloody murder. And Xander's quiet promise - it will all normalize - made him want to murder someone.

And now, he was sitting at the dinner table looking at Xander's plate. A big, thick, juicy steak sat steaming, its aroma nearly driving Spike mad with hunger. No wonder his stomach was growling. Now he was starting to know the difference between good growls and bad growls. And those mashed potatoes looked so thick and creamy, he might die if he didn't taste it. The green bits of fluff on the plate, he paid no attention to.

"Starvation kills."

Xander laughed at Spike’s woebegone look. He didn’t consider himself to be an evil person. On a scale from one to ten, one being Closet!Larry with his merciless mocking and ten being Angelus in the leather pants of evil, he considered himself to be a lowly 0.1.

That, however, didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy having the best steak for dinner while Spike was having chicken soup. Thin chicken soup, with tiny little bits of chicken and overcooked noodles.

They’d been getting along well since the awful near-miss with Spike’s gradual disappearance, if you didn’t count the mounting Buffy-related tension and Xander’s ineffectual denial of The Kiss.

“You were the one talking about never eating again.” He pointed out, popping a bit of steak in his mouth.

Spike's eyes were glued on Xander's mouth. He watched as the boy chewed, licked his lips, and raised his fork to his mouth again. "You're making me very hungry," he whispered.

“So eat!” Xander exclaimed and gestured with his fork towards Spike’s little bowl of soup. “It’s healthy, good for you and the possibility of cramps is limited!”

"Very funny." His gaze met Xander's and he deliberately reached out and wiped the pad of his thumb across Xander's mouth, snagging a bit of mashed potatoes, and sucking it loudly off his thumb. Tasted a hundred times better than this gruel!

Xander froze, feeling Spike’s thumb brushing across his lips, staring as the blond suckled on it. He tried not to picture Spike’s mouth over his, tongue licking at his lips…tried not to think of last night’s dream, where Spike was doing all sorts of interesting things with that mouth.

"Just teaching you to share," Spike said, in a mocking tone.

Xander snapped back to reality and immediately blushed a bright red. He smiled mechanically at Spike and stared down at his food, cutting the meat and pushing it around on his plate.

A few spoonfuls of the dishwater, and Spike was back to eyeing Xander's plate. That is, when he could resist looking at his heightened colour and obvious attempts to avoid his eyes. "I'd like your meat."

Xander choked. He’d been in the middle of an intense ‘Don’t think about Spike in that way’ session and then the object of his penis’ desire suddenly said something like that! He threw a panicked look in Spike’s direction and tried hard to breathe, gesturing wildly.

He was breaking. He was about to give in. Just one bite was all he was asking for, what was the boy being so strict about it for? Spike licked his lips. "Dip it in the cream sauce, yeah?"

Finally able to bring his breathing back under control, Xander glared at Spike.

“You gonna stop staring at my food if I give you some?”

"Of course." He forked a piece of steak from Xander's plate, dipped it into the mashed potatoes and gravy, piling as much of the stuff as was possible onto the small piece of meat, and brought it to his mouth.

He had to make it last, so he licked the sauce drizzling down his fork first, then some of the potato, then took the rest in his mouth. When he finally swallowed, he thought he might cry at how good it was. And how unfair it was that good meant pain.

Xander watched Spike eat…if you could call that eating. He was giving the food a blow-job for crying out loud!

Spike met Xander's eye. "What should I stare at now?"

“Erm…I dunno…not me. Or my food. Stare at your own plate.”

"I would. If it weren't so boring. Everything on your side of the table looks so much more edible."

“Well you can’t have it. Not until your stomach is used to the food!” Xander snapped and went back to pushing his food around his plate.

Spike frowned, but obediently ate some more dishwater, only making a face now and again. The silence seemed to stretch between them. And Xander's colour was still high. "You're not still worrying about that bloody kiss, are you? It was nothing, yeah?"

If possible, Xander blushed even more. “What kiss?” He asked, his voice breaking. Clearing his throat he tried again. “There was no kiss. I dunno what you’re talking about. Nobody kissed anybody.” He babbled, staring at Spike in horror.

"That's right. It wasn't a kiss, so much as a 'slip and fall'. Bathroom floor is bloody slippery when wet, and you couldn't help it that your mouth has good aim."

Well that did wonders for his own imagination, as he remembered the movements of Xander's mouth over his. The feel of his hands on the side's of his head, of the hunger and passion he would never have guessed resided in one Xander Harris.

“Yeah…yeah, good aim.” Xander mumbled, trying not to let his depression show. He pushed his food around a bit, offering Spike a half-hearted smile. He knew Spike was letting him off the hook but rejection was still rejection no matter how nicely it was phrased and how confused Xander was.

"Angel's aim wasn't that good. I think he was aiming for Dru when... yeah, 'slip and fall'." He lifted the spoon to his lips, never taking his gaze off Xander.

For the second time that evening, Xander choked on his food.

“Angel did what now? You’re joking right?”

"I promised not to tell that story, and now that I'm human, I'd better keep it, yeah?" He leaned over and slapped Xander on the back. "You alright?"

Xander coughed harder. “Fine. I’m fine. Shit, you’re human but you’re nearly as strong as Buffy!” He exclaimed, eye widening in horror when he realised he’d mentioned she-who-makes-the-tension-in-the-room-rise.

Spike slapped one last time, decidedly harder than necessary. Then sat back, quietly staring Xander down. "If you said yes, it wouldn't kill you. And the bloody Powers wouldn't erase me since it would have my jail keeper's blessings."

“It’s not…I know you don’t understand but I’m doing it for your own good okay? Protective custody the Wankers said and that’s what I’m trying to do.” Xander explained, looking beseechingly at Spike. Please just drop it.

"'Protective custody' ... those are two words, and you're fucking emphasizing only the 'custody' part. You don't need to protect me from Buffy. She said she loves me." He knew it was a lie, but it was a beautiful lie. "And I like her aim, thank you very much."

“Oh yeah, I’m sure you like her aim. You liked it when she beat you to a tiny bloody pulp too, did you?” Xander said angrily, stung by the reinforced rejection. It was bad enough that he wanted to kiss Spike, he didn’t need his desire to be slapped back. Especially by comparing him to the oh so perfect Buffy.

"Yeah... rough sex...that was fun.."he said, getting a faraway look in his eyes.

"Is that what you call it? Damn, and here I was thinking she was beating up your sorry ass."

Even as he heard the words coming out of his mouth, Xander regretted them but it seemed like he had no control over his brain. Some small part of him just wanted to hurt Spike as much as he'd been hurt himself.

The words were jarring. More now that Spike was human and vulnerable, then if he'd still been a vampire. His skin hurt! Not quite hurt, but his cheeks and neck grew warm. This must be what it meant to flush with anger. Is that what the boy wanted? To see him angry? Well he wouldn't have his way.

"Sometimes love is pain," he said, clenching his teeth and sneering.

“Not that kind of pain it’s not. Someone loves you, they don’t hit you. Hell, Spike, you didn’t have a soul but did you ever hurt Drusilla like that?” How could Spike still believe that Buffy loved him? Damnit, even the densest of people would understand that she didn’t. Not like that.

"She doesn't love you Spike. She may care but she doesn't love you. Take it from someone who's been in the exact same situation with the exact same person: it's not about to change."

Uncontrollable fury washed over him, sending Spike's blood shooting to his temples. Before he knew it, his hands shot out and turned the table over onto Xander, who just managed to scramble away. Plates crashed and broke on the wooden floor, food and drink splattered. "Get out of my sight. My legs might be weak but there's nothing wrong with my hands," he snarled the warning out.

“Spike, that was my table! I made that table!” Xander exclaimed in shock, staring at wreckage. “You broke my table.”

"You're next if you don't get out, now," he stood up and took a step toward the boy. "I'm not bloody kidding, yeah?" Who knew human rage meant seeing red? Wanting to smash and tear the place apart? A tight jaw, and pain in the muscle that throbbed every time he clenched his jaw? "Move, or I won't be responsible," he bit out.

“No, you’re not kidding, are you? Vampire or not, you’re still the same. Fine Spike, you win. Call Buffy. You have my blessing to screw up your life any way you want. I’ll be in my room.”
Xander’s words were quiet showing just how tired he was of this situation. He felt like he was a thousand years old. Spike was just as violent as ever and he was just as much of a Zeppo as ever. Why think that anything would change?

Spike didn't turn around as Xander headed for the bedroom. Nor did he answer him. Already, he was doing everything in his power to hold onto his raging temper. That boy knew how to push his buttons, he did.

Minutes later, Spike was still rooted to the same spot when there was a soft knock at the door. Buffy. It had to be. Now he'd show Xander how far his head was up his ass!

Crossing the room as fast as he could without falling flat on his face, he tugged the door open and had a waiting smile on his face. It was a blast from the past alright, but not the one he'd expected!

“Hello Spike.” Dru stood on the other side of the barrier, looking hungrily at Spike. “No, not Spike. My William.” She laughed, clapping her hands together in delight. “Come, my William, we can play!”

"Drucilla?" As if mesmerized, he moved inside. Only when she stopped at the threshold, did he realize why. "Come in," he whispered, his eyes drinking in the sight of the woman who'd turned him... who he'd tumbled so many times. There was a definite tug on his heart. It had to be human sentimentality, not that he'd been short of it as a vampire. Odd though... the invisible blood pull of his sire was gone.

Drucilla took a few dainty steps and reached out to caress Spike’s cheek. So different, her boy…her knight…all warm and full of noise. She frowned, tilting her head to get a better feel of him.

“All wrong like this.” She whispered. “My dashing stranger is not right. We shall fix you my knight. The fishies are gone now but fear not, we’ll bring them back! Then we shall play again!” She concluded, smiling happily at him.

He put his hand over hers and leaned into her palm. "Fix me. We've been through that, yeah?" Spike grinned. "It was a good time, luv. A very good time. And now I'm..." He ought to be scared, you never knew with Dru, but he wasn't. "Broken, you might call it."

Dru crooned, wrapping her arms around Spike and leaning her forehead against his.

“We’ll make you right again. Cold and silent, like me. Then you shall be my knight and we shall have tea with the queen of hearts. Her own knight must go though.”

Sudden change of mood and she was glaring at the apartment.

“Her knight shan’t play with us. I don’t like him Spike. Make him go away.”
"Her knight?" Spike raised an eyebrow and followed her gaze to the mess in the dining-room. "Never mind that pet, Xander's just a messy eater." He looked at her. "How did you find me?" Was she going to turn him again? He could think of nothing better.

“The stars told me I lost you…like we lost Daddy but I didn’t believe them.” Dru let out a little growl at the stars. “But I made them tell me how I could fix it.” She laughed and vamped out, leaning towards Spike’s neck.

"I hate this body. It's weak. It hurts," he said, his heart pumping faster and faster as she drew close. The blood roared in his ears as he thought of the power he'd had as a vampire, the lack of pain. He hadn't needed anyone... not for a bloody thing. And he never would again!


(comments desired/much much appreciated!)