Becoming

Chapter 7
Confessions and Consummations


Xander started awake at the sound of the door slamming, his momentary panic at being unable to move his arm quickly replaced by a rush of warm fuzzies as he saw Spike trapping him in bed having somehow in the night reversed their positions so it was now Spike who was enveloped in Xander’s arms. Gently extricating himself and grabbing his sleep pants from the floor he struggled to put them on in the still dark room without waking Spike, despite the fact that the vampire had been unconscious for over a month Xander somehow knew that he needed rest. Slipping silently into the hallway he padded into the front room where he could hear Angel quietly taking, from the lack of another voice he guessed it was on a cellphone, he was sure Angel would have heard him moving about but to be sure he went into the kitchen and grabbing a glass from the cupboard he switched on the faucet, the running water should provide Angel with privacy to finish his call. In under a minute Angel came into the kitchen, “Sorry it took so long Xander” Angel muttered as he entered the room “remind me never to try and take on a nest of fire breathing Nalax demons without investing in flame retardant clothing first”


Xander turned and gasped in shock at Angel’s appearance, he had what looked like a huge whole in his neck and it was still bleeding. “Christ Angel, what the hell happened to you? Sit down before you fall down you idiot!” Angel looked bemused at Xander’s outburst but allowed himself to be settled on a kitchen stool whilst Xander quickly filled a bowl with warm water and grabbed a washcloth from under the sink. Xander moved to Angel and setting the bowl and cloth down on the breakfast bar he moved to help Angel take his coat off. Unfortunately in his worry and haste to get Angel fixed up he had completely forgotten his own news, “Xander” the low growl coming from Angel shocked him, “what did you do Xander?” Xander’s hand automatically came up to cover the bite as though it would magically disappear “oh what this? Um, well yeah the thing is Angel, I know you said it wasn’t a good idea but I had to try and it worked Angel, it really worked”. He saw the happiness on Angel’s face before he could wipe it away and replace it with a disapproving look, “Xander, you could have been killed!” Xander looked down at the floor, suddenly finding the linoleum interesting, he noted that it was lifting slightly where it was fitted around the breakfast bar, he’d have to get that sorted, sighing he said “I know Angel, but it was worth it. He’s OK Angel, I mean really OK. He’s sleeping at the moment which is kinda weird I suppose after sleeping for a month but he was up and active enough earlier, he was disturbed slightly when Angel leant in and sniffed him, then mortified when the dark haired vampire pulled back and with a disturbing leer said “I can tell”. “Eeeew, that’s just gross man! You mean you can smell it? Can you like do that everytime someone ya’know or is it just because it’s me and Spike? My God you sniffing freak!” Angel couldn’t help but laugh at Xander’s distressed babbling and that broke the tension, “Relax Xander, it’s not like I usually sniff people to see if they’ve been intimate recently, but yours and Spike’s scents are pretty familiar to me at the moment, I could probably track you across the city if I had to I’m so used to it. So when they change, or are mingled shall we say it’s pretty obvious to me” he grinned at Xander and it looked so macabre with the hole in his neck still trickling blood that Xander shuddered and picked the washcloth up again.


“I am glad Xander, not just because it makes you happy. You know I love him, I’ve always loved him it was just hard to admit it when I had a soul and he was still evil. I thought that acknowledging it would mean that part of me was still evil and I wasn’t ready to face the fact that despite the soul I still have a demon in me. I’m good with that now and it makes it easier to love, now that I’m not fighting what I am but accepting it and using it for good.” Xander blinked back tears, he knew how hard it must have been for Angel and now his heart broke at the thought of decades of struggle which could have been avoided, he was ashamed at how he had treated this man all those years ago when he was back in high school. This man who had answered his call for help and gone far beyond what Xander had expected of him, Angel had not only helped to save Spike, he had saved Xander, on those days when Xander had lost hope and despaired of Spike ever waking up Angel had spoke quiet words of encouragement and held him when he wept giving his the reassurances he needed. “Angel, I…I want to say thank you for everything that you’ve done. I know that thank you doesn’t even come close to expressing how grateful I am it’s just...” Xander stumbled over the words, emotion making him verbally clumsy.


He was thankfully saved once more by Angel who touched him on the shoulder “Xander, don’t. You and Spike? You’re family and I take care of mine OK? And I want you to know, both of you are welcome in LA, anytime and for as long as you want OK? I know Cordy would love to see you both, the last time we spoke she said she had been checking out gay clubs that she wants you and Spike to take her to.” Xander hiccupped as suppressed tears and the laugh that tried to force it’s way out met in his throat and made it impossible to breathe. Eventually the laughter won and he snickered, “I can just imagine it, Spike in a gay club listening to ABBA and drinking some humongous blue drink with sparklers” Angel barked a laugh and Xander was sobered by the pulse of blood and low groan that followed he stepped forward and pressed the cloth to Angel’s neck to try and stop the blood, “it’s not healing” Xander muttered, “shouldn’t it have at least have stopped bleeding by now?” Angel sighed and said “normally yes, I haven’t fed since I left here though and with feeding Spike as often as I have done..” “Angel, you idiot. Why didn’t you say anything?” Xander grabbed Angel’s hand and pressed it to the cloth, he then stamped over to the fridge and pulled out several packets of blood. He ripped the first open with his teeth, being careful not to get any in his mouth and emptied the contents into a mug, slamming it into the microwave and pressing the necessary buttons he took a deep breath before turning around, his planned lecture about Angel needing to take care of himself occasionally as well as other people died in his throat at the sight in front of him.


Spike stood in the doorway, one hip and his head leaning negligently against the door frame, apparently having decided that getting dressed was too much of an effort he had draped the sheet from the bed around his hips, the excess puddled on the floor behind him and the sheet slipped precariously on one hip threatening to display more exposed flesh. Xander couldn’t speak, the sheer beauty of Spike had stolen his breath. He noticed Spike’s bare feet and marvelled that something as mundane as someone’s feet could be so captivating, they were like his hands. Long and pale, the bones clearly visible making them look as delicate as a birds wing, odd to think that they were always hidden in those huge Doc Martin boots. “Morning pet” Spike drawled crossing the room to stand in front of Xander, chuckling he placed a cool finger underneath Xander’s chin and pressed his jaw up before leaning to the left and breathing in Xander’s ear “I was under the impression that we had arrangements for when we woke up luv” chuckling again at the low moan that Xander couldn’t prevent escaping. Spike pressed a quick almost chaste kiss to the corner of Xander’s mouth and turned to face Angel. “Alright Peaches?” then after taking in the sight of Angel “Bloody hell Angel, what the fuck got hold of you?”


Swiftly approaching Angel tugging a still slightly stunned Xander by the hand Spike tenderly lifted the washcloth away before tutting under his breath. “You got any blood pet?” Spike asked Xander who shook his head to clear it and then at the soft curse from Spike said “No, wait... yes there’s blood, I put it in the microwave but I haven’t heard it beep” he turned to look at the microwave and was puzzled by the fact that it was flashing, having completed it’s warming. Angel chuckled “it finished whilst you and Spike were having your moment Xander” he explained. Xander blushed and quickly grabbed the cooling mug out of the microwave and handing it to Spike before opening another packet, dumping the liquid into another mug and starting the heating cycle again. Xander turned and was stunned to see Spike quickly drain the contents of the mug with a slight grimace, unable to help himself he exclaimed “Spike! That’s for Angel, he’s hurt!”. “Know that don’t I pet? Got eyes and everything. M’not giving him that swill though, s’probably the reason you got hurt so badly huh Peaches? Pig’s blood is good the soul but not so good for the healing factor Xan-pet.” “Oookay, I get that but it still doesn’t explain why you’re drinking it. If we need to I can get human blood in”, “No need pet, in the same way that Sire’s blood is some of the best for a vampire, not as good as yours though pet” Spike shot Xander a sultry glance that had him hardening almost immediately “Childe’s blood can be just as healing”. Xander understood then and couldn’t help but be worried “but, you’re only just healed Spike, do you think it’s a good idea to um, donate, so soon?” Spike chuckled at Xander’s choice of words “relax pet, m’fine. You fixed me up real good and I can pass some of that to Peaches here. Fix him up good and proper and then we can go back to bed yeah?”


Xander mentally cursed his traitorous cock for it’s reaction to the look that Spike gave him which was no doubt intended to make it impossible for him to sit in his flimsy sleep pants without Angel seeing just how affected Xander was by Spike’s presence. Spike grinned and damm it all if it wasn’t the hottest thing Xander had ever seen, he looked like a little boy, there was delight mixed with mischief in that grin and if Angel hadn’t been in the room that minute Xander would have been on his knees in seconds showing Spike just how much he wanted him. Spike turned to Angel and said in a strangely formal tone “Sire, take of me what was given freely by Alexander Harris, my desired consort.” Xander gasped as he recognised the words, he had seen them in numerous books when he had been checking that his plan would work. Spike was asking Angel as the official head of the Aurelius line to accept Xander as Spike’s consort. If Angel accepted they could bond and they would truly be together for eternity, or until Spike died anyway. At Xander’s gasp both vampires looked at him, Spike looked cautious as though worried that Xander had changed his mind, Angel looked wary. Xander rushed forward to take Spike’s hand “Spike, you mean it? You really want me? Forever?” Spike grinned then his face went serious, “yes pet, I do. It’s what you want too isn’t it?” Xander nodded frantically, not trusting his voice to hold. “Right then!” the usual big bad attitude was firmly back in place “Let’s get this show on the road then eh?” turning back to Angel Spike again dropped his head just a fraction, a show of submission “Sire, do you accept my offering and offer your acceptance of my consort?” Angel cupped Spike’s face gently with one paw of a hand and tilted it up until their eyes were level “Yes William, childe of my line. I find Alexander worthy of his place at your side. I trust you to protect and cherish each other. I accept your consort and I accept your offering”, game face coming forward Angel gently tilted Spike’s head to the side, leaned forward and bit down at the juncture of neck and shoulder.


Minutes later Angel pulled back and his human features slid back, but his eyes remained somewhere between their usual brown and gold, he was obviously struggling for control. Spike was leaning against the breakfast bar for support, weaving slightly on unsteady legs. Xander rushed forwards and grabbed Spike around the waist, guiding him to a stool, settling Spike down and standing between open legs his arms wrapped tight around Spike. He pressed kisses all over Spike’s face and down the long marble white column of his neck, when he reached Angel’s bite which had stopped bleeding he paused and then, for no reason other than the fact that it seemed the right thing to do he gently laved the area with his tongue. Spike’s hands immediately gripped his upper arms, almost tight enough to hurt and he gasped “Xander”. “Shush” Xander whispered against Spike’s skin “wanna do this, don’t know why but I know it’s right” and he began to lick all the rapidly congealing blood from Spike’s neck and shoulder whilst his hands traced patters over Spike’s back and moving round to his chest started to play idly with one of Spike’s nipples. Tracing light circles around it before pulling harshly until Spike mewled with pleasure, pulling back Xander looked into Spike’s eyes which had darkened to an almost midnight blue with lust and he felt like he was drowning, “take from me Spike” he whispered baring his neck and panting in anticipation.


He felt the cool caress of unnecessary breaths against his skin and then the sweet flash of pain before he lost all sensation except unending pleasure. White hot heat rolled through him and he heard whimpers before he realised it was him, he moaned when Spike pulled back all too soon and tried to pull him back “Xander, luv listen to me. In order to complete the ritual Angel needs to take from you as well” Xander had known this, remembered reading it in the books but it had somehow slipped his mind until now, Spike was holding him and looking anxious as though this would scare Xander and make him want to stop. Xander smiled at Spike because knowing that this glorious creature wanted him, was worried that Xander would say no was the most heady feeling he could think of. Xander stretched a hand behind him to where he knew Angel was standing and gripped Angel’s hand tightly, tugging him forward. Angel came but his steps were hesitant, he came to a stop when he was pressed behind Xander and Xander shivered at the sensation of Spike pressed close to his front and the hard lines of Angel pressed against his back. Angel dropped his head and murmured “Will, childe, I’m not sure now is the right time, I’m hanging onto control as it is after feeding from you. Maybe this should wait…” Xander groaned in protest and reaching behind him grabbed a handful of Angel’s hair and tugged him closer to his neck, “I trust you Angel, and I trust Spike to look after both of us. He won’t let it go too far” Xander’s voice was choked by his desire for this to be completed, for him and Spike to be as one, the way he knew it was meant to be. Angel begged brokenly “Stop me Will, if I can’t stop myself you have to stop me” before sinking fangs into Xander’s taut neck.


Xander felt the warm rush but there was no mind-blowing pleasure and the sharp pain meant he kept perspective, he wasn’t helpless under the onslaught of ecstasy, it just wasn’t the same as when Spike did it and that made him happy. He was pleased that it was only that good with Spike, he gripped Spike’s hand hard and panted when the pain grew, Spike’s eyes met and held his gaze and Xander heard the unspoken words as Spike pleaded with Xander to trust him and hold on. Xander closed his eyes and trusted to Spike completely but didn’t relinquish his grip on Spike’s hand. After a few minutes Xander was starting to feel light headed, he knew he should be worried but couldn’t seem to find the strength and he knew that that in itself should have worried him either more. He giggled as he considered the irony of trying to worry because he wasn’t worrying, he felt Spike dislodge his hand from Xander’s and gently card through Angel’s hair as he said “That’s enough now Angel, Xan-pet can’t spare anymore and I want him strong enough to enjoy the last part of this” Xander felt the growl reverberate through him as Angel struggled for control, he whimpered as Angel’s hold on him tightened for a second before Angel lifted his head and roared. Angel slumped against Xander’s back so that he was the filling in a vampire sandwich, Spike in front of him and Angel behind. “Ooof” Spike exhaled “bleedin hell Peaches, shift your lard arse yeah? You’re crushing my Xan-pet” Angel chuckled and then said “Don’t call me Peaches Will, and I do not have a lard arse” he lazily licked the smeared blood from Xander’s neck and whispered “Delicious” before taking his own weight again and stepping away from Spike and Xander, adopting that formal tone again he intoned “I and all those of the line of Aurelius shall now recognise Alexander Harris, known as Xander, known as the White Knight of the Slayer as the consort of Will known as William the Bloody, known as Spike, childe of Druscilla, childe of Angelus and master vampire of the Aurelius Line. Bound in love and bound in blood, bind yourselves in magic and bind yourself in sex and none shall part you.”


Xander felt a frizzle along his spine as though those words themselves contained power, he barely heard Angel say that he was leaving although he heard the clunk of the apartment door as it closed behind Angel. “I know you’re feeling a bit weak now Xander but in order to finish this we need to consummate the claiming” Spike said, his voice mellowed and the usual accent slightly softened as he cupped Xander’s face tenderly “we can take a bit of a break though if you need a rest luv” Xander rocked forward, pressing his hardness into Spike’s matching one and moaned “don’t want to wait Spike, want you now”. Spike chuckled at the slightly whiny tone “OK pet, let’s get a bit more comfortable though eh?” and he stood, scooping Xander up by the ass he lifted him and pulled him close, sliding one hand under Xander’s thigh and lifting until Xander got the hint and wrapped his legs tight around Spike’s waist. Spike smoothly walked them into the bedroom and although Xander felt odd at being carried like a girl he rested his head on Spike’s shoulder and sighed, inhaling the sweet smell of Spike. As Spike turned and sat on the bed Xander took a second to marvel at the fact that Spike had managed it with the sheet still wrapped around him and trailing round his feet. His momentary reflection was brought to an abrupt halt as Spike repositioned them so that their cocks were pressed tight against each other, Xander gasped and instinctively rocked his hips forward, seeking sweet friction. Spike groaned and grasped Xander firmly, each hand kneading one globe of Xander’s ass and assisting Xander in the rocking motions. Xander mouthed wet kisses along Spike’s neck and clavicle and whimpered as he hurtled closer towards release. “Spike, want you, want you to take me, want you in me when I come” he gasped and the full body shiver his words produced made him grin like an idiot, “you got lube pet?” Spike asked whilst his hand snaked down and gripped Xander’s cock firmly around the base as though he could tell Xander was too close to the edge, “mmmm, there’ll be something in the drawer” Xander’s brain was slowly turning to mush as Spike’s thumb had started to trace the line between his cock and his quivering anus. The hand that was supporting Xander was moved and Xander clutched at Spike’s shoulders to prevent himself slipping from Spike’s lap as the blonde leant to the side and snagged the drawer open, Spike fumbled blindly in the drawer as Xander occupied him with desperate kisses, with a small sound of triumph which Xander greedily swallowed Spike withdrew his arm and moving the hand that was still gripping Xander’s cock with a whispered plea for Xander to not come and hold on he slicked up his fingers.


Tossing the lube onto the bed beside him Spike’s hand returned to Xander’s ass, except this time there was a definite intent, Xander felt a cool slick finger circle his entrance, pausing every now and again to press lightly against it, Xander started to whimper each time Spike’s finger withdraw from applying pressure and instead returned to circling “God’s please Spike, stop teasing, want you, want you so bad” the next time Spike pressed against his opening he pressed a little harder and the tip of his finger slipped in and past the guardian ring of muscle. Spike stilled immediately to give Xander time to adjust and Xander took advantage, thrusting downwards until Spike’s finger was completely enveloped by his body. Xander stilled then, adjusting to the new sensation. It didn’t hurt, just felt weird, a sense of fullness that was odd. “Xan-pet, you’re going to hurt yourself” Spike moaned as Xander’s hips undulated, writhing against Spike in an attempt to speed things up. “Not” Xander gasped as he bit down on Spike’s shoulder “you would never hurt me” he moaned as Spike slightly withdrew his finger then pushed back in. “No, I wouldn’t” Spike commented wryly “but I said you were going to hurt yourself. We need to take this slow Xander, you’ve never done this before and if we rush it you could get hurt” as he spoke he gently pushed a second finger in and feeling the slight burn that induced Xander moaned in agreement and said “OK, slow but quick as we can OK?” Spike chuckled at the false logic and nodded, his forehead resting against Xander’s and his eyes watching Xander’s intensely for any sign of pain. “You doing OK pet?” he asked as he twisted his fingers stretching Xander to make the coming act easier “mmmm” Xander’s breathing was coming fast, the burn had become pleasurable and the fullness had fast become a feeling he was pretty sure could addicted to, Spike grinned a grin so full of sex and evil that Xander’s breath caught and he wondered what exactly the blonde was about to do when suddenly a sensation so intense caught him that his back bowed and if Spike hadn’t been expecting it and supporting him with a strong hand in the small of his back Xander would have thrown himself clean out of Spike’s lap and onto the floor. White hot heat burned from Xander’s toes, reached fever pitch in his aching cock and balls and then danced along his spine. “What? What, oh my god what did you do? More Spike! More!” Xander was moaning incoherently and when Spike brushed against that spot inside him again he bucked and wailed. “That pet, is your prostate. Me and it are going to become very well acquainted” Spike chuckled as he relentlessly stroked Xander’s prostrate and only vampire strength stopped Xander doing himself a serious injury as he thrashed wantonly.


Spike eventually slowed his movements and eventually left off and concentrated on working and loosening Xander’s clinging inner walls now that Xander was completely relaxed. Xander felt the pressure of one more finger pressing for entrance and he somehow instinctively bore down and helped its entry. Spike spent a few minutes ensuring that Xander was as stretched as he was going to get and quickly withdrew his fingers, chuckling softly at the whimper this produced from Xander. Spike lifted Xander and manoeuvred him so he was reclining on the bed, propped up by a mound of pillows, Xander looked confused, he knew the basics of this and had expected to be on his hands and knees. He knew his confusion showed when Spike explained softly, “want to see your face Xan-pet, need to see you, know how it feels for you. Can’t stand the idea of not looking into your eyes when you come” Xander nodded frantically and realised that whilst he wanted Spike so badly he’d crawl on broken glass to reach him that the idea of not seeing Spike cut deeper than glass ever could. There would be time for experimentation and establishing preferred positions later, right now this was about consummating the fact that they were together, soul mates for eternity. This needed to be intimate, an expression of love and for that Xander needed to look into those blue eyes and marvel at the fact that they could apparently see something in him that others didn’t.


He relaxed and leant back, allowing his legs to fall to the sides, presenting himself wantonly to Spike, he was delighted to see the blondes eyes open wide and his adams apple bob as he swallowed repeatedly, “Christ, so fucking beautiful Xander” he said as he took his time allowing his eyes to roam over Xander’s exposed form. With the grace that only a predator could have Spike untangled himself from the sheet that was still partially wrapped around him and kneeled on the bed, Xander licked his lips at the sight and reaching down gave a few swift tugs on his straining member “Spike, need you, need you now” he moaned. Spike reached for the slick and poured some into his hand then swiftly slicked his angry red cock and wiped the excess on the sheet. Hooking his legs under Xanders legs he shuffled closer until his cock was pressing against Xander’s entrance, “love you pet, my beloved, always” Spike groaned as he pushed into Xander so slowly that Xander could have sworn he felt every bump, every ridge on Spike’s cock as it pushed through his fluttering channel.


Xander lay panting, adjusting to the sensation of being filled so completely. He was mesmerized by the way Spike’s eyes flickered from blue to gold and then back again as he fought for control, he rocked his hips slightly and moaned at the sensation, there was no pain just pleasure and he rocked again more forcefully to let Spike know that he was ready. Taking the hint Spike eased out slightly then rocked back in, repeating the motion until he was pulling out almost all the way before pushing back in slowly. Xander was thrashing and writhing underneath him and begging for more. What Spike was doing felt amazing but he needed more, he felt ready to explode but something was missing, The gentle strokes Spike was providing were driving him insane, his hands grasped for a handhold and settled on Spike’s ass, grabbing hard he tried to pull Spike in deeper and harder “Spike, please. H-harder, more, need, n-need you Spike” he wailed as Spike refused to allow him to set the pace and continued to tease him with long, steady strokes. Spike grinned and adjusted the angle of Xander’s hips slightly, pulled out and then as Xander began to sob in desperation at the thought of the teasing continuing he slammed back in hard and unerringly hit Xander’s prostate.


Xander screamed and when he heard Spike’s groans he realised that he had dug his nails into the perfect mounds of Spike’s ass hard enough to draw blood. He made to remove his hands but Spike’s growled “Don’t” made him gasp and he clung on as though his life depended on it as Spike rapidly brought them both to the edge with hard, fast strokes that repeatedly brushed Xander’s prostate and sent wave after wave of almost painful pleasure along Xander’s spine. “Come for me Xander, let me see you come” Spike murmured as he shifted his weight to one hand and used the other to grip Xander’s straining cock. One, two, three more thrusts and Xander’s back arched like a bow string as he wailed Spike’s name, his legs wrapped around Spike’s and he bit down into the muscle of Spike’s shoulder his scream muffled into the flesh, he tasted the sweet cool copper taste of Spike’s blood and his release covered his and Spike’s chest. He felt himself clench around Spike, so tight it had to have hurt Spike but apparently not as Spike’s rhythm faltered, becoming choppy as his hips snapped erratically and he whispered reverently “so fucking beautiful”, before allowing his demon face to come forth and Xander instinctively twisted his neck brutally to the side, baring himself in the ultimate act of submission. Spike lunged forward and sank fangs high into Xander’s straining neck. The sensation brought Xander again when the white wave hit him he screamed as Spike ripped his face from Xander’s neck gasped as he saw human features slipping back as howled his own release, Xander felt he was in the presence of some primal god, nothing could look more beautiful than Spike did, marble white skin stretched taut over straining muscles, Xander’s blood smeared across his mouth and chin, some dripping onto that perfect chest, shimmering with sweat that had rubbed off from Xander’s exhausted body and the expression on Spike’s face was one of someone who has seen heaven. That image seared itself into Xander’s consciousness even as everything went black.


AN – Wow, OK so I’m still not sure that I’m totally happy with that last chapter but in a weird way I’m actually really proud of it?...