Tears of the Soul

After a few seconds Angel and Spike were finally able to find their voices again.


"Xander, you got it all wrong. We are not here to fight you and we are definitely not here to kill you," Angel said appointing.


"And there are a lot of things we still need to discuss. And most importantly are we not here so that everything comes to an end between us. We are here for quiet the opposite. We want a new beginning," Spike said while taking a step towards Xander.


Spike and Angel both knew how scarred Xander was of them, even if he didn´t want to show it and tried to act brave, they could hear his heart beating so damn fast and they also noticed how he flinched back by every step they took in his direction, till he was again pressed flat against the wall.


"Xander please calm down. You don´t have to be afraid. We are not going to hurt you. The only thing we want from you right now, is for you to sit down with us so we can talk about everything that happened." Spike said calmly.


"When you tell me that you are not going to hurt me, you probably mean that you are not going to hurt me more than you already have. And pray tell me why should I believe you that you are not going to atack or even worse kill me?" Xander asked highly sceptical.


"I know that you have no reason to trust us but just think about it.
You were unconscious for a good amount of time and if we had wanted to kill you we could have done that easily then and there.
So I am asking you nicely a last time to sit down with us and please do it before you fall down. Because I know that your head has to be still hurting you and that your feeling light-headed and it is really a bad idea from you to be up and about and to wander around this room." Spike said in a concerned tone.

Spike and Angel then sat themselves again on the couch.
They extra left a little space between them and motioned with their hands for
Xander to sit down on it.


Xanders response to that was a slow shake with his head.
"You don´t really think that I would sit myself between the two of you,
now do you?"


He then lowered himself down on a few plushy pillows, which were lying across from Spike and Angel and looked them straight in the eyes.
"And now what?" Xander asked impatiently and a bit annoyed.


"I don´t know how to start but maybe we could begin with discussing what happened ten years ago on that night when.." Angel suggested.


"When you beat me within an inch of my life, while I was totally incable of defeding myself. I was lying in bed for months because of the recovery and.." Xander began telling angrily.


"Xander, just listen to us for one minute. You have to let us explain ourselves." Angel responded in a powerfull voice.


"Angel is right. What happened on that night was the result of many things gone wrong. I mean you always had these strange appointments and you were never spending time wtih us and at night you also was very dismissive and uncommunicative and you didn´t want any contact with us. What were we to think about your behaviour?" Spike asked seriously.


"Yeah, we had the feeling that you were drifting away from us and that you were
keeping a secret from us. We thought that we were losing you.
And you know exactly how jealous and possesive we are and one day we couldn´t take it anymore and we decided to follow you.
And when we found you in bed with these other two guys, we just counted one and one together. We thought that you had cheated on us and you know best what then happened." Angel admitted feeling guilty.


"I would never ever in my entire life willingly cheated on you and you should have known that. I mean you know of my past and you know that I haven´t had an easy childhood and you of all people were the ones who always told me that sex and rape weren´t the same thing and that it wasn´t my fault and, and I was foolish enough to believe you." Xander narrated sadly.


"Oh Xander, what happened on that night was of course not your fault.
In that that moment we just thought that you had betrayed us." Angel tried to explain.


"Yeah, is that so? And why did you change your mind about that?" Xander asked in a bitter tone.


"That happened the next day when the owner of the hotel was standing before our door at our home. He was a vampire and he had found your mating ring in the room, you must somehow lost it there, and you know that our names are engraved on it.
He knew obviously how powerfull we are, so he thought it would be best to give it back before he would get into trouble, should we come for the ring.
He then told us that he had installed cameras all over the hotel because of the criminal region it was located. He then gave us the video of the hotel room you were in and advised us to betteer have a good look at it.
And that´s exactly what we did then. We watched the tape and it clearly showed that you were drugged and, and it showed how they, how they brutally raped you over and over again.
We then wanted to make us on our way to come and get you but the hotel owner told us that you weren´t there anymore.
We knew that you must have been still alive because even tough the bond between us was very very weak, we would have felt it if you had died.
We then again watched the tape but we only saw how two masked person carried you out of the hotel but we couldn`t recognise them.
Then we began searching for you but all those years we just couldn´t seem to find you and today, I mean we were only here for some business meeting, we saw you on the stage,and I think you know the rest of the story." Angel declared.


"So, what do you want me to say now? What do you want me to do? What do you expct from me know?" Xander asked affected.


"Can´t you feel it what we want from you?
Finally this whole nightmare can come to an end and we can have a second chance.
We want you to come with us, we want you to come home." Spike said hopefully, with a smile on his lips.



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