Becoming

Chapter 6
Awakening


Tonight was the night, he had managed to ensure an empty house and things had finally gone his way, Riley had finally come through for Buffy and had sent all the documentation that the Initiative had on the ship’s design. Willow and Giles had done their best but eventually Angel had asked Fred to come from LA. Xander had been stunned when he met her, she was undeniably beautiful but man, he had thought that Willow was smart. This girl was a freaking genius, she had understood all the stuff the Initiative had sent and pointed out several design flaws in the chip, she had concluded that Spike’s actions had in effect disabled the chip, fried it so to speak which had resulted in a huge electrical surge which had likely caused Spike’s current coma-like state. She had patted Xander on the arm reassuringly and said that she was sure Spike would wake up, he just needed to heal and told him that the chip was as good as gone. She had then stepped into Spike’s room and he had heard her soft Texan drawl as she spoke to Spike as though he were awake and able to respond and he heard her giggle as she told him that she approved in his taste in men and described Xander as yummy. She had eventually let herself out and headed back to LA but not before extracting a promise from Xander that when Spike was better they would both come and visit LA. He had managed to convince everybody that he was upbeat about Spike’s recovery and suggested that they all take off to the Bronze tonight for some much needed downtime, declining to go himself saying that he wouldn’t feel right leaving Spike alone, what if he woke up and no-one was here? That had gotten small smiles from Willow and Buffy and Giles had polished his glasses whilst humming rather distractedly.


Angel had been far harder to convince, however luck had been on his side, Cordy had phoned that very day, she’d had a vision and the danger was too great to allow Wes and Gunn to take it one without Angel. He’d taken off for LA at sundown promising a surprisingly emotional Xander that he would be back the next evening at the latest, if they managed to dispatch the threat in time he was going to drive back before the sun rose. Xander had surprised everybody by grabbing Angel and hugging him close, whispering in his ear so that no-one else could hear “Take care of yourself, me and Spike need you right now, probably always will I suppose and I know I wouldn’t have got through this last month without you. Come back to us Angel OK?” Angel had warmly returned the hug and said in a strained voice “Ay little one, for you and Will I’ll always be here”. When Angel had pulled back Xander could see that his eyes were suspiciously shiny and he knew his were too. In the short time they had shared close quarters they had become very close, their mutual love for Spike expanding until they loved and cared for each other.


So, with the apartment empty and the doors securely locked Xander straightened up and knew he was decided, he was going to wake Spike up tonight. He moved in an almost dreamlike state to the kitchen, he’d given a lot of thought to what he was about to do and knew it was the right decision, Angel was right when he said that him and Spike weren’t consort’s, however they knew that he reacted to Xander more than anyone else, more than Angel even, Xander had tested his theory by cutting his finger in the bedroom one time, it the day after his conversation with Angel about consorts and the types of blood that sustained a vampire and Angel had come rushing in when he’d first smelt the blood, Xander could see the look on his face and knew he had been thinking the worst, that Spike had bitten Xander. He’d quickly wrapped Xander’s bleeding finger in a handkerchief and even now that puzzled Xander, why would a vampire carry a handkerchief? It’s not like they sneezed or got colds, did they? Resolving to ask Spike when he woke up and grinning when he imagined Spikes response ‘I’ve been unconscious for over a month and the first thing you ask me is do vampires sneeze?” deciding that he would leave it a few days before asking Xander’s grin slowly became a grim line of determination. Angel had ushered Xander out of the room to get the finger bandaged but not before Xander had seen that Spike’s gameface had come to the fore and he seemed to be straining off the bed. Xander had been thrilled, it had taken weeks of Angel feeding Spike before they had reached the stage where Spike’s fangs would drop and he would start to take the blood rather than passively allowing it to be dripped down his throat. Buffy and the others had come back on nights covered in blood, some their own and there had been no response from Spike. He knew that his blood sang to Spike and he was going to use that to his advantage tonight.


Settling down on the bed he reached into the drawer in the table on his side and withdrew a beautiful knife, it was one of Buffy’s and she had loaned it to him one time before they took on a particularly nasty demon, at the time it looked like a sharp blade with a dull black metallic handle. After the demon was dead he had tried to return the knife but Buffy had told him to keep it, she had told him he was good with the blade and had held his own that night. He still felt the dull flush he felt whenever he was praised by someone he considered his better. He had forgotten about it for a while but one day when rain had meant the site closed and a day at home Xander had come across it whilst bored and decided to clean it. When he had he had been amazed to see the quality of work, the blade once clean shone like diamond and he sharpened it until it could slice a hair in half. The handle was bronze filigree, done to a degree of intricacy that Xander doubted any mortal ever created it, the patience and degree of skill required must have been immeasurable. He had tried to return the knife to Buffy but she had refused and said that it was like him, deceptive in appearances, this had been quickly followed by one of her bone crushing hugs that said more than she ever could with words and she had promptly said she was off to beat something evil up. Smiling at the fond memories he traced a finger lightly across the sharp edge, sucking in a breath as it sliced effortlessly through the plump flesh on his finger, opening a line like that left behind a plough, ruby red blood welled up quickly and he sat fascinated by it until a whimper from Spike gained his attention.


Once again Spike’s demon had sprung forth, he lay still motionless on the bed but with an air of restlessness about him, he made another small sound and his nostrils flared slightly. Xander’s heartbeat sped up rapidly, partly in fear over what he was about to do, he knew it was dangerous, risky. But wasn’t love risky? It was about handing your heart to someone and trusting them to take care of it. He was simply giving his life to Spike and trusting him to be himself enough to stop before it was too late. Placing the point of the blade to the vulnerable flesh where neck meant collar bone he swiftly opened a wound, not too deep and nowhere near an artery but enough that the blood spilled, he felt it trace a warm path down his chest. His eyes however were glued firmly on Spike. He saw the reaction immediately, the restlessness was multiplied tenfold and Xander marvelled that although he knew as well as he did when Angel pulled that unnatural stillness on him that he was in the presence of a predator, all his natural instincts should have been screaming for him to run from the room but there was no fear at all. He manoeuvred Spike until he was lying almost on top of Xander who had in preparation stripped himself and Spike down to sleep pants to try and reduce any unnecessary mess. The contact of flesh on flesh sent electrifying tingles down Xander’s spine. He gently pulled Spike’s face to the open wound like he had watched Angel do every night for the last month and ensured that Spike’s mouth was sealed over the wound. He wasn’t sure how long it would take but within seconds he felt a suction, Spike was definitely feeding from him. Within a minute he felt the sharp pain of fangs piercing the wound and driving deep. He shuddered at the blend of pain and pleasure, it was exquisite, he understood how Angel said that people begged for this to never stop. He felt himself go from interested to diamond hard within seconds and couldn’t help the low moan that escaped him. A flash of movement caught his eye and he tilted his head slightly to see Spike’s eyes open and fixed on him. When their eyes met Spike pulled away in a blur of preternatural speed and before Xander could say anything Spike was curled up into a ball at the bottom of the bed.


“Get out Xander” Spike growled and God’s how Xander had missed that voice. He completely missed what Spike had said in his excitement and moved towards the blonde intent on nothing more than hugging him until someone got a crowbar and forced them apart. However as he got closer Spike growled audibly and said “Xan-pet, I’m telling you now to get out of here, m’not in control of myself right now and if you come any closer I’ll hurt you” Xander stopped moving closer but refused to leave. “Spike? Spike it’s really you! My god I thought I’d lost you and Angel kept telling me to stay strong but I was so alone and I had to try and thank God it worked. I did mention that I loved you by the way didn’t I?” Xander babbled until Spike shot him a look at the last statement. “Come again luv?” Spike asked in a low voice “Oh ha, yeah. Something I forgot to mention months ago. I am completely and utterly in love with you. Like would die for you kinda love and I was kinda hoping when you feel better we could maybe talk about that?” Xander was cursing himself internally for sounding like a complete and utter idiot but was helpless to stop the torrent of idiocy from leaving his mouth. Spike on the other hand seemed to find it amusing, he uncurled himself until he was sitting on the bed with his cheek resting on his knees, his slightly longish hair flopping over until it hung over one eye partially blocking it from Xander’s sight, it somehow looked vulnerable yet incredibly sexy and Xander’s breath caught at the sight. “Yeah, that’s sorta what I thought you said” Spike murmured so low that Xander had to struggle to catch it, “but I know it isn’t true, this is hell isn’t it? M’gonna have the thing I want most shoved in front of me and then when I finally accept it and reach out to take it it’ll all fall away?” Spike’s eyes were glistening with unshed tears and Xander’s heart broke at the sight “No, no baby. I swear to you. This is real, I’m real, you’re real. I love you, I want you and” he took a deep breath “I want to finish what we, well I started here tonight, I want you to claim me Spike, as your consort. I know everything, I know about the soul and I saw you risk everything to stop me from having to take Ben’s life. I want you to know I would do all that and more for you Spike. If I don’t have you, I don’t have anything. Please, if you’ll have me Spike, I’m yours.”


Spike stared at him with hope shining so brightly in his eyes Xander almost felt the need to shield his eyes but underneath that bright cerulean blue was a maelstrom of distrust, as though he really suspected that this was all some sort of sick game or fantasy. In desperation Xander pleaded “taste me Spike, taste me on your lips and know that this is for real”, Spike’s pink tongue flicked out and swiped across those pale lips, Xander groaned at the sight, his hard on which had been somewhat diminished by the turn of events suddenly surged to life and he ached. He saw Spike taste the blood that lingered on his lips then shoot that oh so loved cocky grin at Xander. “I taste you Xander, I smell you. I know what you want and I need you to know that even without the soul I loved you. Truly I did, but I thought you would never love me without one, honestly I thought you couldn’t love me with one, heard you rant about Peaches often enough but I had to try. So I went through the demon trials and got myself a soul, then I went a little crazy, wasn’t around that much then, worried I might be a danger to you or Niblet or one of the other white hats. Ended up speaking to Angel of all people, I mean things had been getting better since the chip, we’d been talking and stuff y’know but God’s pet, I don’t think I would have survived those first few weeks if he hadn’t sorted me out.” Xander was motionless on the bed, desperate to reach out and touch Spike, any part of him, just to reassure himself that he was really here and talking but scared in case Spike moved away again, whilst this wasn’t close enough, not by a long shot he knew he couldn’t bear it if they got any further apart. “Spike, I… can I kiss you please? Or just touch you? I need to know that you’re here” he asked quietly, terrified that the blonde would turn him away and he started to lower his head when he received no response. Movement distracted him and he lifted his head to see Spike crawling across the bed towards him, this action had the sense of a predator stalking his prey but instead of feeling fear Xander felt a tightening in his belly, usually signalling imminent release. He moaned deep in the back of his throat at the sight and snaked a hand down to push against his aching cock just to relieve the burning ache. Spike chuckled low in his throat as he reached Xander, he drew himself up to kneeling, putting him just a little higher than Xander then bent forwards and licked a cool line through the sticky, drying blood that covered Xander’s neck and chest. “Mmm, you taste like sunshine and chocolate Xan-pet” he whispered against Xander’s neck, Xander felt his pulse flutter at the words and knew that Spike could feel it pressed as he was against Xander. Spike drew back and Xander saw him lick his lips again before tilting his head down and pressing the gentlest of kisses to Xander’s mouth.


Xander gasped at the jolt that travelled down his spine and his hands automatically came up to grip Spike’s arms. The kiss quickly heated up until it was out of control. Spike’s tongue flickered across Xander’s lips urging them to part, Xander did so on a gasp that Spike greedily swallowed. Spike’s tongue caressed every inch of Xander’s mouth and Xander eventually managed to re-establish motor function and used his to caress and urge Spike’s to explore further. Xander felt Spike’s nimble fingers loosen the drawstring on his sleep pants and then everything went white for a second as Spike’s cool hand wrapped itself around his turgid cock, Xander heard whimpers and then realised they were coming from him and immediately tried to stop them, Spike whispered in his ear whilst running his slick tongue around the inner shell of it “No, don’t stop pet. Wanna know that you’re here with me, want to hear how much you’re enjoying what I do to. I’m going to make you do more than moan Xander, m’gonna make you beg for me fuck you and when I do you won’t be able to remember your own name. The only thing you’ll be interested in is what I’m doing to you, the pleasure I’m bringing to you. I wanna hear you scream my name when you come Xander luv.” The low cadence of Spike’s voice made rough by lust, the carefully constructed accent occasionally slipping in the heat of the moment combined with Spike’s ministrations and the fact that what Xander had just heard was possibly the hottest thing in the world in his opinion pushed him to breaking point. He felt the world shrink until all its focus was on the pressure in his balls, it was released on Spike’s downward stroke at the precise moment Spike called him ‘luv’.


His entire body was taut and he arched impossibly from the bed into Spike’s grip. Without conscious thought to it he gave Spike everything he had asked for, screaming his name as he found release and saw the thick ropes of his come cover Spike’s hand. Seconds or possibly hours later he opened his eyes to see Spike cleaning his essence from his fingers, catching Xander’s eye he slowly fellated each finger giving a low moan himself at the taste. Xander couldn’t look away, Spike was acting as though the taste was better than that of blood, the best thing he’d ever tasted. Deciding that if that was the case then he wanted to try he shucked off the sleep pants and crawled naked to Spike, gently tugging his hand towards him, meeting Spike’s curious gaze he slowly drew one of the digits into his mouth tasting himself. It wasn’t too bad he decided before his attention was diverted “By all that is unholy Xander, that is the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen” Spike growled at him before pouncing. Xander found himself flat on his back with Spike covering what felt like every inch of him. Needy kisses were exchanged only breaking off when Xander had to choose between kissing Spike or suffocating, the scary thing was it was a close thing. Hearing the mewls of pleasure from Spike as he managed to get some friction by rubbing against his hip Xander decided that turnabout was fair play. In a move that he was proud of he managed to roll them both over so that he was on top of Spike and he broke the current kiss ignoring the low growl of dissatisfaction from Spike and the sensual pout on that perfect mouth. “Your turn” he said with a grin and he proceeded to kiss, lick and bite his way down Spike’s chest paying special attention to the pale pink nipples and relishing the moans he heard.


When he bit down gently on one whilst tugging at the other Spike bucked up against him and moaned “harder”, grinning again Xander refused to cooperate and instead loving laved the now slightly red area with wide sweeps of his tongue, he heard a growl and decided he was going to spend the rest of his life trying to make Spike growl like that as often as possible “tease” was muttered but was said with such affection that there was no sting to the word. He hummed his agreement and then repeated his earlier action which earned him a moaned “Xan-pet, need you, want you”. Spike’s hands were never still, continuously stroking and caressing whichever bit of Xander was to hand at the time, however they gripped him tightly for a second and Xander could tell that the teasing had run its course and Spike was desperate for some relief. Swiftly moving down Spike’s body, diverting only for seconds to run his tongue down the very centre of well defined ab’s then gently blowing on the glistening trail to watch the muscles dance under his tongue he loosened Spike’s pants and tugged them down revealing perfect legs. He sat back on his heels for a few seconds, drinking in the perfection laid out before him. Spike was reclined seeming perfectly relaxed yet achingly tense at the same time, alabaster skin stretched tight over a lithe form, well muscled but not overly so, eyes half lidded with passion yet the startling blue still managed to hold Xander’s gaze. “Like what you see pet?” Spikes asked and although the comment was in that perfected drawl Xander sensed a small amount of self consciousness there and that was something he could relate to only too well, “you’re beautiful Spike, the most amazing person I’ve ever seen. So hot, want to taste you all over, want to lick every bit of skin and know what it tastes like, what it feels like under my hands. God I could spend eternity with you and it would never be enough” his voice was rough with emotion as he realised it was the truth. He was ready to spend eternity with this man and he knew that if they lived for forever it wouldn’t be enough time.


Spike’s hand found his and cool fingers entwined with the rough, callused ones of a craftsman. “I love you Xander, we do this and there’s no going back. You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours, forever…” Spike’s level gaze held Xander’s and the pressure on his fingers increased slightly, “I need to know that you know this Xander, need to know that you understand and are happy with this”. Xander returned the increased pressure for a second, a reassuring squeeze to his lovers hand “I know Spike, I understand and I am more than happy with it” deciding to show just how happy he was about it with actions rather than words Xander pulled his hand loose and used it to brace himself as he lowered his head and swallowed around Spike’s dripping cock. “Nnnng, fuck! Warn a bloke next time pet yeah?..” Spike gasped as he struggled to keep control. Xander was struggling too, when he had tasted himself it had been OK, not too bad and he had sort of wondered why girls got so uptight about blowing a guy. However it was nothing compared to what Spike tasted like, Xander didn’t have words to describe it, ambrosia would have to do although in his opinion it was not close enough. Xander was enveloped in the scent of everything that was Spike, leather, cigarettes, whiskey, blood and something else, something indefinable but uniquely Spike. His senses were on overload and it made doing what he was easy really, he concentrated on what he liked and tried to replicate it.


Hollowing out his cheeks he applied firm suction and bobbed his head up and down whilst using his tongue to trace the thick vein running along the underside of Spike’s cock and then up to the tip where he swirled around, collecting the precious fluid that was collecting there and then back down to the root. He worked on regulating his breathing through his nose and on each downward bob he took Spike in a little further. The moans from above turned to breathy talking, curses mixed with endearments “fuck, yes, like that Xander, oh luv, my beloved, fucking shit Xan-pet do that again!” and then became helpless mewls of pleasure as Xander eventually achieved his aim and suppressing his gag reflex managed to take Spike to the root, his nose buried in the thatch of light brown hair and inhaling Spike’s musk until it made him dizzy with lust. He couldn’t help himself and let out a loose chuckle and was taken by surprise as Spike’s hips bucked underneath him and only the placement of his hands which were on Spike’s thighs to support himself stopped him from being choked. Glancing up he saw that Spike was mindless with pleasure, his eyes had rolled back into his head which was thrashing from side to side as those noises escaped his mouth. Xander was already hard again and those noises might just be enough to send him over the edge with no touch at all. Moving his hands until they were settled over Spike’s hips and pushing downwards to ensure he wouldn’t be choked he started to hum whilst swallowing around Spike’s cock. It took seconds and then Spike screamed his name which triggered Xander’s own orgasm and Xander wailed around Spike’s cock which increased the intensity of Spike’s, Xander continued to suckle at Spike’s softening cock until gentle touches on his hair made him release it slowly with a disappointed moan, he refused to leave the sensitive organ alone however and insisted on cleaning it thoroughly with loving sweeps of his tongue.


The minute he had finished strong hands gripped his arms and tugged him up the bed until he was nestled in the hollow of spike’s shoulder and being kissed breathless. The kisses slowed eventually until they were both panting, Spike rather unnecessarily but Xander felt a warm flush at the fact that he had driven Spike to pant. Spike gently pressed a kiss to Xander’s forehead and said “Love you pet, mine always” in a sleepy voice, “yours, love you always” Xander whispered back, somehow hooking a blanket from the bottom of the bed with his foot and dragging it up until he could grab it one handed and pull it over the pair of them. Spike wrapped his arms around Xander and tugged him impossibly closer, each of them flexed like cats enjoying the temperature variance. For Xander who was normally too hot in bed and slept restlessly the cool body pressed against his was the perfect balm, Spike on the other hand had missed the warmth since being turned all those years ago and the blazing heat that his boy radiated warmed him better than any fire ever could. He pressed one last kiss to Xander’s neck, gently licking the mostly dried blood from the bite mark, apparently this was something of a turn on as his cock showed signs of interest. Xander felt the reaction and snorted against Spike’s cool skin, “sleep now, fuck me later” he mumbled before taking his own advice and slipping into sleep feeling the safest he’d ever felt.