Undoing the Laces

You said - oh girl, it’s a cold world
When you keep it all to yourself
I said you can’t hide on the inside
All the pain you’ve ever felt
Ransom my heart, but baby don’t look back
Cause we got nobody else

You know sometimes, it feels like
It’s all moving way too fast
Use every alibi and words you deny
That love ain’t meant to last
You can cry tough baby, it’s all right
You can let me down easy, but not tonight
We’re running with the shadows of the night
So baby take my hand, it’ll be all right
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They’ll come true in the end
--Pat Benatar, “Shadows of the Night

William avoided Buffy the next several days. She called and left him countless messages. She came to his apartment many times but he had instructed the guys not to answer or let her in. It took all the willpower he had to turn her away.

The muffled sobs coming from Buffy’s room could be heard by the other three occupants of her apartment.

“This is getting to be ridiculous. A freak is living with us.” Cordelia complained.

“That’s not very nice, Cordy. She is going through a hard time. We don’t know what all is going on with her and William.” Willow replied.

“Well, he won’t see her. She isn’t getting any orgasms. I’d be crying too if Xander wouldn’t give me orgasms.” Anya said.

Both Willow and Cordelia rolled their eyes.

“Is that all you ever think about?” Willow asked.

“No, she thinks about money too which actually is not a bad thing.” Cordelia supplied.

“My economics professor thinks so too. He said I am going to be the most ruthless business woman he has ever met.” Anya smiled brightly, proud of herself.

The intercom buzzed and Anya walked over to answer it.

“Unless you’re here to give me money or orgasms, you can leave” Anya chirped.

“Anya, what did I tell you about talking about certain things in public? I could’ve been anyone. Buzz me in.” came the voice over the speaker.

“Oh goodie.” Anya said as she pressed the button to allow access to the building.

Two minutes later, she opened the door to reveal a dark haired, puppy dogged face man.

“Sorry, I’m late. We had some problems at the site today and I had to take care of them.” Xander informed Anya walking into the apartment.

“Hey guys” he waved to Willow and Cordelia.

“Hi” they both replied in unison.

Just then Buffy came out of her room, glass in hand, on her way to the kitchen to get some more water.

“Oh, here is our new roommate. Buffy, I want you to meet my boyfriend.” Anya said.

“Buffy?” Xander’s shoulders tensed, not having heard that name for years.

He slowly turned around to come face to face with his past. Buffy’s eyes widened as Xander Harris stood before her.

“Oh my god!” she gasped, her glass falling to the floor and shattering into small bits.

“No” Buffy said, backing away.

“Buffy, it’s O.K. I won’t hurt you.” Xander tried to reassure her.

“What’s going on? Do you know each other?” Anya questioned.

“I should go.” Xander said.

Before he could leave, Buffy took off running towards the door, stepping through the pieces of broken glass and cutting her feet in the process. She ran out of the apartment to the stairwell, not wanting to have to wait for the elevator. She ran up one floor and down the hall to William’s apartment, leaving a trail of bloody footprints in her wake. She banged and screamed for him to let her in.

William could hear her begging out in the hall. He had to be strong. Be resolved.

“Christ, not again. Don’t hit me, man but this chick is crazy, dude.” Riley said to William

“Please William. Xander is here. Xander Harris. I saw him. I’m not crazy. Please help me. I’m bleeding.” Buffy cried out.

Upon hearing Buffy crying about Xander and blood, William gave in. He went and opened the door. Buffy fell through the door into his arms. She wasn’t lying. Her feet were bloody with pieces of glass still embedded in them.

“Bloody hell, Buffy. What happened?” William asked, picking her up and carrying her over to the kitchen counter where he sat her down.

“Don’t move.” He ordered.

He went and got some tweezers, bandages, disinfectant, a washcloth, and a towel.

“Man, is she O.K.?” Parker asked following William

“I’ve got it under control. Just leave us alone.” William responded.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Buffy started screaming that it was Xander but when Parker opened the door, it was just Willow.

“See, luv? It’s just your mate, Willow.” William assured her.

“Oh my Goddess! Buffy, are you O.K.? You scared us. We were so worried.” Willow said.

“Her feet are all cut up. What the hell happened down there?” William questioned.

“Anya’s boyfriend, Xander, came by and she introduced him to Buffy and she dropped her glass and freaked.” Willow informed him.

“Xander? Xander Harris?” William asked.

“Yes, umm…I take it you guys know him.” Willow replied.

William closed his eyes briefly. So it was true. Xander Harris had entered their lives again.

“Hang on a minute, Willow. Let me take care of Buffy.” William said before proceeding to clean Buffy’s feet and extract the remaining glass from them. She was eerily quiet now despite the pain. She remained still while William got the glass out and then bandaged her feet.

“I’m going to lay you down in my bed now, Buffy.” William carried her back to his bedroom.

“I’ll be right back, luv. You get some rest.” He told her as he pulled the covers up to her chin. He kissed her forehead and left the room.

Willow was waiting for him in the kitchen.

“Can we talk?” he asked her.

Parker and Riley looked up, listening.

“Privately.” He added.

“Sure.” Willow responded.

They left and went out into the hall.

“Let’s go for a walk.” William suggested.

They went outside and walked in silence for a bit until William stopped at a bench. He motioned for Willow to sit down with him.

“Willow, I’ve never told a soul what I’m about to tell you.” He began.

Willow thought back to her conversation with Tara. Here was her way in, apparently.

“Buffy has mentioned her budding friendship with you and you seem a trusting sort. What I tell you must be kept in the strictest of confidence.” William continued.

“Of course, William” Willow assured him.

William sighed before continuing.

“Willow, some very bad things happened to Buffy when we were children. I won’t go into details but, Xander’s father, Mr. Harris did something…” William said before Willow cut him off.

“You don’t need to say anything more, William. I get the picture and it explains a lot. William, my girlfriend, Tara, you know-she’s a counselor on campus at the health clinic. I really think Buffy should go see her.” Willow suggested.

“I think so too. It’s just convincing Buffy of that.” William replied.

“Maybe if you went with her? I don’t mean to be mean, William and I’m sorry if I’m out of line but we’ve all noticed that you and Buffy have some ummm….relationship problems. A man can’t hide bruises and black eyes with makeup.” Willow said.

“It’s that obvious, isn’t it?” William ran his hands over his face.

“I love her more than anything, Willow. Always have. Always will. We’ve done some horrible things to each other though.” William confessed.

“That’s why you should go get some help. I’m not judging you or Buffy. I just hate to see you both hurting so much. She really loves you too. She’s been crying for days over you.” Willow informed him.

“I know. I had to do it though. Tough love and all that rot. We’re killing each other.” William replied.

“Let’s go back to my place and we can call Tara.” Willow offered.

“Is Harris still there?” William asked.

“No, he left after Buffy ran off. He was very upset too. Anya is beside herself now and demanding explanations.” Willow told him.

“Right then. Let’s go.” William responded.

Willow unlocked her apartment door, letting her and William in.
Anya looked up from the sofa.

“What is going on? Would somebody please tell me? Xander wouldn’t talk to me and left. Buffy is acting like a lunatic. Now you show up! Did Buffy and Xander used to date or something? I don’t understand!” Anya said in exasperation.

“I’m sorry, pet. No, they didn’t date. We just all knew each other when we were younger and it just brought back some bad memories for Buffy seeing him again.” William got away with saying as little as possible.

“I know you’re not telling me everything. People don’t act like Buffy acted over “bad memories.” Anya replied.

“If they’re freaks, they do.” Cordelia muttered.

“I’d watch it if I were you, princess. And yes they do, if the memories are bad enough and that’s all I’m going to say.
Willow, just give me the number and I’ll go.” William retorted.

Willow got her purse and scribbled down Tara’s office number and hours, handing it to William.

“You’re doing the right thing, William. I promise.” Willow smiled at him.

“Thanks, pet and sorry for all the commotion tonight.” William apologized as she walked him to the door.

“Will you be bringing Buffy back tonight?” Willow asked.

“I don’t know. I have a feeling she is going to want to stay with me.” William replied.

Willow held William back by the shoulder and turned him around, “Just please, don’t let her…take it out on you. Don’t do that anymore, William.” Willow eyed him knowingly.

William swallowed hard, “Thanks Willow. For everything.”

William made his way back to his apartment. He quietly entered his bedroom. Buffy still lay there, curled up, her soft even breathing, telling him she was still sleeping. He kicked his shoes off and changed into a pair of sweats before sliding into bed beside her.

“William?” she said groggily, turning to snuggle up to him.

“It’s me, luv. Ssshhh. Go back to sleep.” William kissed the top of her head.

“My feet hurt.” She moaned.

“Let me get you some pain relievers.” He got back up and went to the bathroom, getting a glass of water and a couple pills.

“Here you go.” He said, handing her the pills and water.

“Thanks.” She said after swallowing them down and handing him back the half empty glass.

He set it on the bedside table and lay back down beside her.
He could see their shadows on the wall as the light from an outside lamp post shone through the window.

“You’re not going to make me go, are you?” Buffy asked then added, “Please not tonight. Not tonight.”

“No, you can stay. It’s alright, luv. Everything’s going to be alright. Just sleep.” He stroked her hair as she closed her eyes.

“Sweet dreams, my sweet Buffy.” He kissed the top of her head once more and then closing his own eyes, drifted off into his own dream.

Continued in Chapter 6