Broken (AKA Beautiful Broken)

*

By the time Spike reached the bathroom a minute later, Xander had the shower running at the temperature he knew Spike liked from having lived with him in the basement, a towel draped on the counter and soap and washcloth in his hands as he knelt on the floor of the shower waiting. Spike stood leaning on the doorway, and Xander grabbed furtive looks. He had to admit that Spike had a beautiful body with long lean muscles gathered just under the smooth pale skin. Xander had washed any number of demons, but he rarely liked the body he washed. This time he actually found himself looking forward to his duty.

“Bloody hell. I’m goin’ ta get staked over this, just know it,” Spike complained, and Xander froze, aware that his Master was unhappy but not really sure how to proceed. “Not my soddin’ fault the boy’s trained; be right cruel to leave him kneeling with no way to show his Master what a good little slave he is.” Part of Xander cheered that Spike finally got it, that maybe Spike would give him a chance to do what he was supposed to do. Another part snorted at the vampire’s ability to make excuses. Right, he mentally said in a sarcastic and drawn-out tone. He’d like to see Spike try that line on Buffy, even if it was true. He could imagine Buffy’s face and Giles’ furious glasses cleaning. So, Spike was in danger of being staked, huh? That meant he still worked with Buffy, and maybe Buffy didn’t even know Spike had his chip out. Maybe this was all a big conspiracy where Spike could finally take out the slayer who had bested him over and over.

As Spike stepped in, Xander stood, careful to keep his eyes to the ground as he carefully washed every part of Spike, reaching under to the armpits, sliding his hand between the vampire’s legs, lifting the vampire’s cock. The whole time he amused himself with a fantasy of saving his beautiful slayer at the very point when she realized that Spike had tricked her. She’d cry out for Angel, and then realizing that Angel had abandoned her, she would call for Xander, and he’d appear just in time as Spike bent down to drain her. Of course he knew he wouldn’t do it, if Spike and Buffy actually went at each other he would probably sit in the corner and go quietly mad, but it still made for a nice fantasy, Xander mused as he lifted each of his Master’s feet to carefully wash between toes and on the bottom. When he finished, he noticed that Spike’s cock had become fully engorged, and Xander went into position, his back straight and his mouth only an inch from Spike’s cock as he waited for the order.

And he waited.

…….And he waited.

God, did he have to spell it out for Spike? Why didn’t he just give the order so that Xander could finish washing the Master and then they could get on with whatever Spike had planned. Of course the vampire might want to take Xander on the bed, so maybe that explained the delay. Xander simply waited impassively for Spike’s decision.

“Wish I could bloody ask what you’re thinkin’.” Spike complained, and Xander wondered why the vampire couldn’t. It’s not like Spike had rules to follow. Hell, it’s not like Spike followed rules even when he had rules to follow. There was another silence broken only by the sound of the water hitting the plastic sides of the shower stall.

“Got a new rule for ya,” Spike said, and Xander waited. He hoped the rule wasn’t a hard one; hard rules like never smelling of fear always came with lots of punishment. He would have shivered in dread from that memory, but the lesson about not fidgeting, shivering, shaking or twitching had come even harder. “Any time I get hard looking at that body of yours, you have to get hard too. When I come, you come. You understand?” Spike demanded.

“Yes, Master,” Xander agreed.

“Explain the rule, then.”

“When you are hard from looking at me, I must get hard. When you come, I come.” Xander realized with horror that he was already breaking the rule, so he called up the image of Buffy at the beach in her green bikini, the one he used whenever his trainer ordered him to get hard. Instantly his cock started to swell, and he knew he had done well when Spike’s finger reached down to trace along his jaw.

“Go on then,” Spike ordered, and Xander instantly slid his mouth around Spike’s cock, licking and sucking on the head with great enthusiasm as he used his tongue to push the foreskin back. “Bloody hell, Xan. Never knew you’d be so beautiful on your knees or that your mouth would feel so bloody good around me. If I’d known, I would’ve taken ya when my wanker of a sire offered ya,” Spike remarked before the vampire subsided into groans. Xander tightened his right hand around his left wrist to keep his arms in position, but he could feel his own erection now bobbing, and Xander had never imagined it meant so much for the person he was servicing to give him a compliment. If Spike thought this was good, Xander resolved to show the vampire just how good he could really be.

Xander took a deep breath, and then he slid all the way down on Spike’s cock, swallowing over and over to massage the shaft and head even as he reached with his tongue to tease Spike’s balls. Xander kept the cock in his throat until a need to breathe forced him to pull back. Playing with the head of Spike’s cock and sucking passionately, Xander waited until he felt the cock twitch, and then he drove himself down on it again, swallowing, pulling back, driving down, swallowing, pulling back, and then the expected came, and hands grabbed Xander’s head as Spike drove his cock into Xander’s relaxed throat one, two, three, four times before coming, Xander’s own release came even as Spike’s cock still twitched inside his throat, but eventually Spike pulled back, and Xander gulped the air, finally noticing that he had gripped his left wrist a little too tightly, actually digging his own fingers into the soft underside. He loosened his grip and concentrated on relaxing the muscles that had involuntarily stiffened with his own erection and release.

“Such an obedient pet,” Spike said in a contented voice, and Xander knelt quietly as he tried to separate Spike’s use of “pet” from his trainer’s. His trainer always called him an animal or a pet or just “it,” but he’d heard Spike refer to Drusilla as “pet,” and he’d even caught him calling Willow “pet” once. Then again, he wasn’t Drusilla or Willow, so maybe Spike meant “pet” in the animal sort of way, but he was going to assume it was an affectionate nickname and put it away as one of his happy memories. It seemed like his good memories were almost getting worn out from him having to retreat into them so often. The details fading so that he couldn’t remember Larry’s face or picture Wendell the spider-geek or visualize the park where he would play hide and seek with Jesse and Willow.

He waited until Spike recovered from the orgasm and stretched before standing and picking up the shampoo. He wordlessly slipped behind Spike, ignoring the cocked eyebrow so that he could finish properly by washing his Master’s hair. Xander finished by rinsing his Master and would have followed him out to dry him, but Spike waved him off, So Xander sank to his knees and waited.

“Wash yourself, and take care of your human business, including water. Don’t want ta have ta worry about rememberin’ ta water you every mornin’ so take care of it yourself,” Spike ordered as he roughly dried himself off. Xander stood even while Spike whistled to himself and fixed his hair by touch. Xander tried to keep his eyes down, but he kept looking out of the corner of his eye to make sure he was washing correctly. As often as he washed others, he hadn’t been allowed to touch his own body for so long that he felt somehow disconnected from it. However Spike ignored him utterly, so he soon finished and stepped out to use the toilet. After Spike had left, Xander considered how to deal with the water problem.

He didn’t have a bowl, so he couldn’t drink the way he had been trained, but Xander had an order to follow so he considered his alternatives. The shower would get him wet again and he wanted to be at least somewhat dry when they went out. He could fill the sink and drink properly, but something in his mind told him Spike wouldn’t like that. Spike had called him messy when he drank properly. After a moment’s hesitation, Xander turned on the sink, turned his head sideways and slurped the flowing water the way he had drunk from the hose as a child.

Once he had his fill, he went into the main room, and slid to his knees at his Master’s feet. Spike’s hand immediately went to his hair, but it wasn’t a tap, so Xander kept in the upright Position kneel. Spike’s other hand went to the bedside table and Xander kept his eyes down even as he heard the slide of chain against wood. Had he upset Spike?

“Talked ta your trainer,” Spike announced as if Xander hadn’t been in the corner waiting during the discussion and Xander internally smiled as Spike growled the last word. Externally, Xander waited. His trainer often hobbled him by chaining his feet to his cock so Xander would learn to slow down and take smaller more graceful steps. Maybe his trainer had seen him hurrying after Spike and had suggested a day in hobbles to remind him how to walk. Xander resolved to spend his day being more cautious with his gait although he didn’t really expect to be able to forget with chains reminding him of every step. He waited for the taps that would order him to the floor.

“Plan on ignorin’ most of his rot. When he told me how he’d leave ya in position until you physically couldn’t hold it anymore and then whipped ya for slumpin’, it was all I could do not ta eat the bastard.” Spike snarled, and then he started to mutter angrily, “Makin’ ya think ya deserved it…wanker.” Xander suspected that Spike wanted him to understand that Spike would only punish for real offenses, and Xander did believe that. Angelus was the torturing bastard, and while Spike had always had a reputation for the extreme, it hadn’t escaped Xander’s notice that Spike’s torturing was always done at Angelus’ side and left to himself he quietly ate without the whole torture thing. Xander knew that he deserved whatever Spike gave him, and he only hoped that the vampire hurried up because he was starting to worry about things far worse than hobbles.

“But he made sense when he said I needed ta tell ya why I did things, what pleased me and what didn’t.” Yep, here came the punishment. Xander found himself both resentful of the fact that he knelt at Spike’s feet waiting to be punished like a child and grateful that his trainer had convinced Spike to explain the reasons for the punishment. Xander listened carefully so that he could change his behavior to serve Spike. Spike sat on the bed in silence until the very lack of knowing what was coming started bringing up more and more extreme possibilities in Xander’s mind. Finally Spike took a deep breath.

“Wanker said ya would see me decoratin’ ya as a reward, a way of showin’ that I liked something ya did,” Spike said the words slowly and carefully as though unwilling to even speak the words, and Xander tried to figure out what was bothering Spike.

“Would ya like it if I decorated ya?” Spike finally asked.

“Yes, Master,” Xander agreed, and he would. His trainer would sometimes allow him to wear a decoration for a day to remind Xander of something he had done well. In many ways, it was like being petted all day. He remembered the time that a demon had praised Xander’s ability to bathe and pleasure him. Xander had hated the act, but his trainer had been so pleased at Xander’s ability to perform without reservation that he had fastened two long trailing chains in his hair so that Xander could feel their weight and their cool links running down his back and across his buttocks like a caress. He very much liked being decorated. He was never punished while he wore decorations, and the other slaves would often look at him with envy, just like he envied them when they earned decorations.

“Turn around pet,” Spike ordered. “Hands in front of you.” Xander obeyed and he felt fingers at his collar, hooking something to it. “This is for followin’ me even when I acted like a git and forgot ta give the command,” Spike said, and Xander felt loops of chain settle in on his back, the lowest brushing against his butt and the higher one falling just under his shoulder blades. “This is for this mornin’, the whole soddin’ thing from wakin’ up happy ta you wantin’ ta please me.” Xander kept his eyes down, but he felt the leather cuff around his left arm as Spike tightened the laces in back, allowing the trailing leather tails to brush the back of his arm down to his elbow. “And this is for the water. Knew you’d struggle with what ta do when I didn’t tell ya how ta water yourself, and ya figured out a solution on your own.” Xander felt the second leather cuff tighten around his right arm.

“Stand up, pet.” Xander stood and with every movement he could feel the gentle touches across his back and arms. Even knowing that Spike had to be laughing at him, Xander couldn’t help but smile to himself. When Spike bought him, he’d never expected to survive, and so every moment of pleasure was a treasure he clung to. Even if Spike was evil and chipless, Xander knew he’d follow the vampire anywhere. Cool hands were suddenly at his waist attaching the waist chain low on his hips with the dangling hip chains hanging on the outside of his leg. Since his eyes were lowered, he could see that the chain wasn’t his normal one from last night but a decorated version with black links and small red stones at the end of the hip chains.

“Go ta the mirror in the bathroom and check it out pet,” Spike ordered, so Xander walked into the bathroom and turned his back to the glass. The two loops on his back swooped down from the collar, the small black links dark against his skin which hadn’t seem much sunlight lately. In the middle of each loop, two links hung down with a red teardrop shaped stone hanging at the bottom so that one teardrop rested just above the crease of his butt and one rested on his backbone just above the small of his back where his hands rested when kneeling. The armbands were black with braided laces trailing down, and the new black hip chains swung when he walked, making little flashes of red light dance around the room.

Okay, so he obviously belonged to a vampire now with the whole black and red theme, but Xander loved the feel of them against his skin. He loved what each one meant. He reached up and fingered the cuff on his right arm. He’d earned it by making a decision, and yes it was stupid that the decision had been on how to drink water and yes it was stupid to think that he had momentarily panicked in the face of such unclear orders, and yes it was even more stupid that drinking from the faucet had caused him such nervousness, but he’d earned the cuff doing it, and the cuff wasn’t stupid.

Xander left the bathroom carefully keeping his arms still so that his leather traces and back chains didn’t move at all and his hips slightly swinging to get a pattern going with the hip chains. When he reached the bed, he slipped down into the Floor position.

“Oi, not this again. Just bloody say what you’re thinkin’.”

“Thank you, Master. They’re beautiful.” Xander heard Spike snatch a quick breath and then he felt the tap on his butt pulling him up into the straight backed full kneel.

“You and I are gettin’ in too deep here,” Spike said, and Xander waited. “Pet, look at me.” Xander looked up into clear blue eyes. “Ya really are mine, aren’t ya?” Spike asked, but the answer was so obvious that Xander didn’t think he had to answer. “Right,” Spike suddenly shook off the mood with a twitch of his shoulders as he stood and grabbed his duster.

“Do your cleanin’ and I’ll be back,” Spike left, and Xander noticed that he was alone for the first time in six months. For a moment he remained kneeling, staring at the door, but then he realized that when Spike came back he’d expect Xander’s work to be done. Xander hurried to the corner where Spike had tossed the box of extras from his trainer. Ignoring everything else, Xander grabbed the spray cleaner and paper towels so that he could disinfect his cage and clean the thick pad on the bottom that always got sweaty and dirty. He carefully cleaned the rods, well aware of the damage any breeding bacteria could cause, and when he was finished he snapped the front piece in place and returned the cleaner and unused paper towels before going back to a kneel.

The door soon swung open. “Ya done?” Spike called without looking in.

“Yes, Master.”

“Good, got chores before we leave.” Spike didn’t give any order, but the weight of the chains on his back told him the right thing to do, so Xander rose to follow without waiting for a command.

Spike hurried down the aisle of vendors who were closing down booths and packing up merchandise, both equipment and unsold slaves. Many of the demons now had humans in tow, most held on short leashes, and Xander knew that Spike was showing an incredible amount of faith by allowing Xander to walk without being leashed. Of course that meant that his heavy chain leash banged at his cock when he walked, but that was a small discomfort compared with the pleasure of following without being jerked around by his neck like the little blonde girl being nearly dragged down the aisle by a M'Fashnik demon who didn’t seem willing to let her catch her balance and follow using her own two feet. Spike walked quickly to the back aisle, and Xander hurried behind, careful to walk perfectly because so many dangling decorations would make any flaw in his posture or walk immediately visible.

Spike stopped, and Xander went to his knees, breathing heavy with the effort to keep up without breaking his stride.

“This place should be able to do it,” Spike said as he walked in, and Xander followed, wishing he could look up at the vendor’s sign and secretly cursing Spike’s ability to speak without actually saying anything. His trainer had been right; some people were just plain annoying when they talked, and Spike was running at the top of his list. When Spike walked up to the counter, Xander went back to his knees as a huge scaled demon brought his hand down on the counter.

“What ya need?” he rumbled.

“Get this,” Spike grabbed the heavy chain hanging from Xander’s collar, “off him.” The demon walked around the counter from the sounds of it, and Xander waited patiently while a hooked claw snagged a link on the chain and pulled it taut.

“Easy enough. Five dollars.”

“Done,” Spike said, and then the leash was tightening and pulling, but Spike hadn’t given a command, so Xander resisted the pull and kept position as best as he could. Just when he thought that the demon would either break his neck or pull him over, the pressure stopped.

“He trained to voice?” the demon asked in a tone that was either growling or laughing, Xander couldn’t decide which.

“Wot?” Spike asked.

“Trained to one voice? Is he trained to only follow his owner’s voice or touch?”

“Oh, don’t rightly know. Pet, are you trained to voice?” Spike asked and Xander would have slapped Spike upside the back of the head if he could. Gee, Spike he thought to himself, thanks for asking before the big demon almost pulled my head off. Instead he kept his eyes lowered and his voice soft as he answered.

“Yes, Master.” No duh, Master. What? Did you think I just wanted a quick game of tug of war, Master?

“Right,” Spike said knowingly. “Follow the demon then, pet.”

“Yes, Master.” Xander rose and stepped up next to the demon as the demon definitely laughed and took him to a machine near the back of the shop. When the demon stopped, Xander went into his kneel.

“This cuts the chain, cub. It won’t hurt you, but if you fight, it may cut you. Do I need to tie you so you don’t get cut?”

“No, sir,” Xander answered as he waited for the grinder to cut the chain. Soon, Xander had little tiny burn marks on his chest from the machine throwing off bits of metal during the cutting, but the heavy chain was gone. The demon led him back and as soon as they got near Spike, Xander left the demon’s side and returned to kneel at Spike’s feet.

“Thanks, mate,” Spike said and rustling paper suggested that money had changed hands. “So, ya ready to go home, pet?” Spike asked, and Xander froze for just a half second before rising to follow Spike who had started out the door.

“Pet?” Spike stopped and asked, and Xander went back to his knees wishing that the vampire would make up his mind about whether or not they were leaving. But he waited patiently for for Spike to ask a question the he could actually answer.

“Did somethin’ bother ya?” Spike asked.

“Yes, Master,” Xander replied, wondering how long it would take for Spike to stop falling into that trap. Suddenly Xander realized that he was thinking this way about his Master, a Master who had shown him a lot of kindness. Xander told himself to stop with the snark thoughts. If he couldn’t control his thoughts and if he became disobedient, he had no doubt that Spike would get his money back out of Xander’s hide, decorations or no decorations. Luckily his Master still had some patience.

“Pet, what is bothering you?”

Xander stopped and thought about a way to explain it. “I’m afraid of going outside,” he said.

“Why?”

“I’m afraid I’m going to run,” Xander replied knowing that his trainer would have whipped him until his back bled for a comment like that. He hoped Spike wouldn’t, but he wouldn’t blame him if he did.

“Do you want to run?” Spike asked, but then cancelled his question almost immediately. “No, never mind. We’ve been down this path before and already established that you don’t want things.” Spike stood silent for several seconds, Xander wondering if the vampire was coming up with punishments or if Spike would put him in his cage until they reached Spike’s home. That’s how he’d been brought to the sale, stacked in a pile with a dozen others, their cages tied one on top of another and a tarp thrown over them before they’d been hauled here by truck.

“Pet, tell me why you might run,” Spike finally settled on.

“I should run; it’s what I would have done before,” Xander said, and he desperately wanted to defend himself from what was a very damning statement, but he held his tongue and if Spike decided to punish him, he would accept it for saying something so terrible.

“But that’s not all,” Spike guessed. After a few seconds of hesitation, Spike ordered, “Tell me why you might not run.” Xander realized that the vampire was giving him a chance to explain himself.

“I feel safe with you and want to stay with you, Master,” Xander honestly replied, and boy wasn’t that just sweet. He had officially just lost his Scooby card he realized.

“So ya want ta stay, but ya feel guilty that ya don’t want ta fight,” Spike summarized, and Xander realized that Spike did understand. Spike turned and re-entered the store, and Xander hurried to his side, kneeling again as the big demon came up to them.

“Heard him,” the demon said without apology or shame. “He’s a good animal.” Xander decided that even if his biology teacher had explained in detail why humans were animals, he was really tired of hearing it.

“Yeah,” Spike’s hand dropped to Xander’s head, and Xander enjoyed the feeling of Spike’s touch, especially after he’d said something terrible enough to earn punishment. “So, I need somethin’ ta help him with this guilt problem. I’m thinking hobbles, somethin’ ta slow him down in either black or red.” Xander internally groaned that his fear from this morning was coming true, but he had told the truth, and he could certainly survive a day or two hobbled. The heavy demon shifted from place to place and Spike took a step forward to lean on the counter, so Xander knee walked to keep himself at Spike’s side. After a few minutes, the demon dragged back and Xander heard a number of things clinking and thudding on the counter.

“This is a nice model, the rod on the bottom makes walking possible but uncomfortable.”

“Not practical. Don’t want bruising on the bottom of the foot.”

“This then?”

“Mate, that’s bloody ugly. Don’t want that on my slave. How’s this one work?”

“Oh, a lovely model. This loop goes over the animal’s genitals so that each step can produce either a little or a lot of pulling on the cock and balls. It keeps them walking slowly and carefully.”

“Yeah, and one trip and you’ve just lost any chance of breedin’ ‘em. I’ve been around my pet long enough that I don’t trust him not to trip.” Xander would have complained about that if he’d been asked. In six months he’d learned to keep track of his body in ways that he’d never even considered, and he no longer tripped through a cemetery staking vampires by falling on them. Of course he’d actually only done that once so he’d never known why Spike had insisted on telling that story to every demon in Sunnydale.

“This just restricts movement without changing their pace.”

“Attaches to the legs?”

“It would be a lovely addition to his other chains. Very decorative.” Xander really just wanted to point out that he wasn’t a Christmas tree or a dog or a living doll to be dressed up, but since he wasn’t supposed to have wants anymore he amused himself dressing up Spike’s naked body in some of the chains he’d seen on the various slaves walking the mall. Yep, he could imagine Spike looking pretty good in those outfits, and what the hell was he doing mentally playing with a naked Spike. He played with naked Buffy, not naked Spike. Luckily an order cut that little panic attack off.

“Stand up,” Spike ordered, and Xander obeyed as Spike knelt down and attached black cuffs to his legs just above the knees and to his ankles. He could feel Spike adjusting the size with some sort of inner strap before each cuff made an audible click. The black chains ran from knee to knee and from ankle to ankle with decorative chains running down the inside of his legs. Oh yeah, the vampire was having way too much fun playing dress up. Spike gave Xander a slap on the butt and Xander folded into the Position kneel with his knees apart and the chains were perfectly taut.

“We’ll take ‘em,” Spike said and more money changed hands as Xander realized that his concern about running had been solved. He could take normal steps, but he certainly couldn’t run he decided as he followed Spike out the door, carefully keeping his hip chains flowing even as he tried to keep his step short enough to not strain his hobble chains and remain totally still in his upper body so that his back chains and cuff traces didn’t move and who the hell ever thought walking could require so much concentration? Spike must have ordered someone to clean out the room because they headed right out of the quickly closing mall and into the crowded parking lot. For the first time in six months, Xander saw stars and a sliver moon and the distant lights of the city and oh my freaking god he was naked and chained and walking like a harem boy in heat in the middle of a fricken city. Xander took that moment of panic and reminded himself that he didn’t really have a choice. He was Spike’s slave so he couldn’t get in trouble for anything other than displeasing Spike. So, public nudity laws and public humiliation be damned, he was following his Master.

Xander almost laughed when Spike led his $15,000 slave with the expensive decorations to the same old DeSoto with half-painted windows. Spike opened the front passenger door, and Xander considered his options. The hobble kept him from getting in normally, not that he had the nerve to sit in a chair anyway, so he went in head first and used his hands to pull himself into a very messy kneel on the passenger side seat. By the time Spike walked around, Xander had settled himself on the floor kneeling with his back to the dash and his eyes focused on the passenger seat.

“So, you ready to go see Joyce?” Spike asked cheerfully as he got in, but Xander recognized that the question was purely rhetorical, and really he wished it wasn’t because…Joyce?? Spike was taking him to see Joyce?? What about Buffy and Giles and Willow, any of them might be at least somewhat prepared for a brainwashed and totally nut-case type Xander, but Joyce? Personally, Xander didn’t really want any woman to see him chained and sitting at Spike’s feet, so his silent vote had gone to Giles. The man could keep a secret like nobody’s business and he could just imagine the look on Giles’ face when Spike showed up with an obedient Xander at heel. That would make the embarrassment actually worth it. But Joyce? Why the hell would Spike go to Joyce?

As Spike started the car, punk music started and Xander realized that he wasn’t going to get any answers so he would just have to wait and find out when they got there. He tried tucking his hands behind his back, but he really couldn’t with the dash, so he tried pulling them in front to rest on his thighs, but they were uncomfortably jammed against the seat. Xander exhausted his limited options for what to do with his hands in a Down kneel when Spike in the middle of his lyrics called out “Floor.”

Xander tried to find a way of getting his head to the floor, but then he realized what Spike meant. He leaned his body against the seat in front of him and put his head down on it since it was as close to the floor as he could get in close quarters. Now he could tuck his hands behind his back and enjoy the feeling of the delicate back chains pressed between his arm and back. Joyce. He did wonder what the hell the rest of them had gotten up to while he’d had his little vacation from the hell mouth. He just hoped for Joyce’s sake that she wasn’t a shy woman because he’d hate to embarrass Buffy’s mom.