White Knight, Black Knight

Xander woke next day after four. His eyes had that gritty, dry feeling that came after crying. All in all he felt like shit, but after last night at least he had no dreams, and that was a plus. Maybe things would get back to normal now. All this summer he’d been feeling like he was at a crossroads. First he blamed it on Anya leaving, then on Jessie’s birthday. You never knew though, maybe he was just finally growing up.

He disproved that idea to some extent, by eating cold leftover pizza and Twinkies while trying to wake up. The worst part about being off on a weekday is that you never really knew what was on TV, he thought, while trying to find something he recognized. Star Trek and Xena wasn’t on, and he really wasn’t up to thinking much after last night. Ended up watching Trading Spaces. At least there he could get some carpentry ideas.

After getting cleaned up he checked his answering machine. There were messages from several people. As always Giles was clipped and polite, you would have never known that Xander had left in a huff the night before. He had left Xander the keys to the Magic Box in case Xander needed anything from there. Willow had called, she was rushed with getting ready to leave baid aid she was worried about him, they’d do lunch when she got back.

Yeah, her people could call his people. Okay, so she had a girlfriend and he didn’t. She spent a lot of time studying and he didn’t, understanding that still didn’t make him feel like he was a big part of her life. Xander tried to ignore those feelings, knowing it was mostly depression and some resentment over her forgetting Jesse’s Birthday again.

Buffy called to apologize, but she didn’t apologize for what she said, just that she said it. Great. Anya left him because he was unwilling to stop the fight, to stop trying to protect his friends and the innocents of Sunnydale. Now his friends thought he couldn’t do it, didn’t believe in him. At least that was how it felt.

Great pity party Xan! He couldn’t help but laugh at himself. No more serious thinking till he was in a better mood. He’d end up like Deadboy, brooding in the dark all the time and that was so not of the good. Only one thing could help him now, massive amounts of chocolate, or alcohol, either one would do.

As he had not yet reached the levels of pathetic ness needed to overindulge in either alone, he figured he’d go meet up with Spike first. They could go through some of the tunnels under the city and clear them out, then after the sun set to a patrol. That way Xander would have an excuse to invite Spike to the Bronze for a drink. He never wanted to get so far gone he ended up like his parents, but lately he was going a bit overboard. Maybe they should do junk food and movies. Although Spike was far more likely to agree to come if JD was involved. And blood, which he had some of in the fridge; since he started really hanging around Spike he tried to make sure he always had some on hand, both pig and some human in the freezer in case Spike was hurt.

So he had a plan, time to put it into action. Leaving the TV on, so he wouldn’t miss it when the homeowners saw what that Doug did to their bedroom, he undressed and made his was into the shower. Turning the water as hot as he could stand it he got in and started to clean up. He looked down and Lil’ Xan. Not sure what was more frustrating, the fact that he hadn’t gotten any attention since Anya left, or the fact that his fantasies didn’t even seem to do it any more.

Not that he had a lot of great experiences sexually. Cordy and him barely got past second base and then Faith pretty much threw him down and got on, barely even waiting for him to get hard. He would have felt less violated if she had left money on the side table for him.

Anya showed up in the basement demanding orgasms. Sure it had developed into a relationship, but it started out as fuck buddies. Gods, between all that and the people, or rather things he had been attracted to in the past he was a Jerry Springer show waiting to happen.

Once again trying to shake off such melancholy thoughts, Xander got out of the shower, dried off and dressed. When he went patrolling with the Scoobies it didn’t matter what he wore, but when he was out with Spike he did try to dress for stealth. The vampire had been teaching him some tracking tricks and his usual wear did tend to make him stick out like a sore thumb.

He pulled on black jeans, black tee shirt, and black work boots with steel toes. It was really too hot to wear a coat, so he wore a dark green long sleeved shirt to hide the stake and small hatchet he’d shoved into the waistband of his jeans. Gabbing his keys, he looked at the clock. It was near six o’clock, Spike would be awake and most likely bored.

He got in his SUV and drove down to the cemetery. It was late summer and there was a lot of traffic. He parked in the cemetery and got out. There were two funerals going on. He tried to make his way over to the closest one, trying to figure out what had happened. If it had been a vamp attack they’d have to come back in a couple of nights

It was just ending, but he could tell by the picture set near the grave it was a closed casket. More than likely something a bit messier than a vampire had gotten a hold of the person. On the one hand, good, because then he and Spike probably wouldn’t have to come back later, bad on the other hand, because that meant something out there was chewing people to bits. Yea, another fun weekend on the Hellmouth.

As he made his way over to Spike’s crypt, he tried his damnedest to be quiet. Watching his footing, trying not to step on any twigs or leaves; a dozen other things Spike had been trying to teach him. Of course Spike could always hear his heart or breath, not like he could stop that, but still it was the thought that counted.

He made to knock, but a voice called out from inside. “Might as well come on in Harris! Could bloody well hear you from fifty paces!”

He laughed as he swung the heavy door open. “Gee Spike, I think that was a compliment, two weeks ago it was a hundred paces! I must be getting better!” Xander felt something lift as he walked into the Master Vampire’s home. It was the best he’d felt in the past couple of weeks. Maybe it was because Jessie’s birthday was behind him, but maybe it was the company.