Playing to Win

Tangled


Disclaimers and summary can be found in chapter one...

Buffy studied the necklace in her hand. She had found it in the park the night before. Finding jewellery from dead girls on patrol; that brought back memories, memories of fairy tale romance and kisses that made her want to die. Maybe that should have been a clue that it was going to end badly with Angel. So he left so she could find someone to be in the t wit with – only it was the dark that made her want to live. Buffy sighed and returned to the bauble twined in her fingers, a figure of the Virgin Mary, sacred but not enough, apparently, to protect the owner. Buffy sighed again. Sometimes she wondered if she were really making a difference or just running around stabbing things futilely with sharp sticks.

In a melancholy mood, she curled up on Giles’s couch while he made tea, a requisite for researching or spending the evening with her, she wasn’t sure. In any case, this was the forth such remains of a girl in as many days. While unfortunately that was low for vamp related deaths in Sunnydale, strange and unexplained things, well other than vampires that is, were not allowed to be strange and unexplained on Buffy’s watch.

”Buffy, tell me, in what circumstances did you find this necklace?” Giles asked as he came out of the kitchen carrying a tray with tea, complete with biscuits and other necessities of being English. He set it down, poured two cups, added precise amounts of cream and sugar and, seemingly deep in thought, stirred without even looking down.

”I was just doing my normal walking through cemeteries routine, killed a few new vamps – you’d be proud, Giles, I 'plunged and moved on' - ” Buffy shot Giles a sly look with that last bit and was rewarded with a patient smile before continuing seriously, “I caught a glimpse of some more of those nasty orange scaly things that I had met up with the other night, and did I tell you what Spike did?”

Buffy hadn’t told Giles about her encounter with Spike because she hadn’t seen him for a few days – she quickly bypassed the transparency of that reasoning and straight to the more acceptable feelings of guilt for not seeing Giles in a while. She really needed to get some new feelings to choose from. Buffy sighed… again.

”I don’t mean to pry,” Giles started in typical fashion, but with sincerity, “but I could hear you sighing all the way in the kitchen; is something the matter?”

”Really, no,” Buffy started, uncertainty clouding her voice, “it’s just these girls; I know death happens all the time here – I mean I deal in death, but not like this… it’s like they never lived at all,” she took a deep breath then continued, “we haven’t been able to find anything at all about them. They’re so young,” she finished in a low voice.

”And so are you – I forget that sometimes; how could I not, after all you’ve done? Yet, in so many ways I feel like, who you are, what you’ll become; you haven’t even begun…” Giles gazed at her fondly.

”This slayer gig doesn’t usually allow for character development and great opportunity for all that life achievement stuff, does it? You know… life, love, the pursuit of happiness… I feel like I’ve had so much life and love, but everything has a shadow – “ she paused for a moment as if debating whether to continue, “Maybe I’m a shadow.” She took a breath, “I’m not really a girl, sometimes, I think I’m just aponapon to fight the big, and sometimes not so big, evil. So if I can’t do that, what am I?”

”Buffy, you are so much more – you always have been, even when I didn’t know any better, you were. What’s brought on this self-doubt?” Giles reassured her, while taking a sip of tea, old habits coming to the forefront in his uncertainty in how to answer her.

”Spike,” she said flatly.

”Spike?”, Giles asked, incredulous, as that was literally the last thing he expected to hear.

”Not generally a topic of any conversation that doesn’t include the words ‘hate’, ‘loathe’ and ‘stake’, I know, but he got me thinking about stuff… stuff of the kind which I never need to talk with you about,” Buffy’s expression closed off as she went back into Buffy mode.

”Really, Giles, we should get back to researching, and I need to go patrol and then get some sleep; I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately…” Buffy trailed off as Xander and Anya burst through the door, in a heated debate.

Or rather, Anya was in heat, and Xander was in desperate need to get out of an embarrassing debate.

“I just don’t understand!” Anya exclaimed, “Why don’t you want to have a threesome with Spike? He’s nicely built, and you know,” glancing over at Buffy, winking, “that vampire endurance… He could take over when you get tired and fall asleep – after giving me many, wonderful orgasms, of course,” Anya quickly corrected herself when she saw Xander’s pained look.

“Because I’m not gay is number one on a very long, long list, which I never need to repeat because the first reason is reason enough – besides, it’s Spike, evil demon with bad fashion sense,” Xander paused, looking down at his green plaid shirt over brown and tan striped trousers, “did I mention evil, bad demon – who I am in no way attracted to?”

”But, you said his name the other….”

”So, Giles, what are we researching today?” Xander interrupted hastily, “Please tell me we are researching something today – I need the books, like water, like sex, like, mmmmmmmmmm cookies….” he trailed off as he spotted the tray of cookies and tea Giles had brought in earlier.

”See, that’s your problem, Xander,” Anya persisted, “you care more about cookies than you do about my orgasms, and therefore me.”

”That’s not true!” Xander shouted, spraying crumbs on Giles, who sighed and brushed them off.

”All right, that’s enough; I’ve heard exactly more than I ever wanted to hear about Xander and er, cookies,” Giles stepped in before this conversation revealed anymore that he would have to spend valuable mental energy repressing later.

”We have girls who are dying, or disappearing… girls that we can’t find anything about either their lives or how they died, or where they are if they’re not dead,” Buffy stated, gravely, so much so that even Xander quickly swallowed his cookie and nodded.

”So, let’s get to work, shall we?” Giles suggested, relieved that the conversation was once again back in the death and supernatural, where it belonged.

Anya piped up one last time, interrupting the careful silence and rustling of pages, “Just so you know, I’m only doing this to make Xander happy – because a happy Xander is a sexually adept Xander…”

Xander dropped his head on the table.

Buffy patted his head.

Giles tried to hide a smirk.

Anya grinned.

Spike chuckled.

Three heads snapped up; Anya kept reading.

Still without looking up, Anya sighed, “Yes, I know he’s there, and yes, I still want to include Spike in Xander’s and my sexual activities, but the sooner we find whatever we’re looking for the sooner I can take Xander home and try to convince him more with oral gratification.”

Er, yes, of course,” Giles stammered, “now Spike, why are…”

”… you here?” Xander asked the shadow in the corner of his bedroom late that night. The darkness was silent for a long moment.

”Because you want me here, pet,” the voice replied, eerily and matter-of-factly, without the expected cockiness one would think would accompany such a statement.

”But, but… Anya, she’ll see; she’ll know.” Xander teretered with some desperation, glancing at the girl curled up at his side, sleeping.

”She already has, wants to anyway, and you want it too,” Spike smirked as he stepped half out of the shadows.

”No I don’t… want it, or know what you’re talking about,” the boy said heatedly, trying to ignore the thrill that went through him at the images hovering on the edge of his consciousness.

Darkness, heat, pale skin moving over him, holding him, possessing him… Anya watching him being dominated, Buffy watching, moaning…

”Oh God!”

”Now that wouldn’t be nearly as much fun, now would it, boy?” Spike asked, still not cocky, just… sure.

”Yeah, fun, ‘cause this is all kinds of fun; apparently I’m sick and twisted, wanting an evil vampire to play dominating sex games while my girlfriend, and possibly also my best girl friend, watch; yeah I’m seeing the fun,” Xander admitted.

Spike grinned and came over, ”That’s you problem, you know,” he explained. “You’re always trying to see when you should be feeling,” he purred, running his fingertips lightly over Xander’s shoulder and up the nape of his neck causing him to shiver.

Xander unconsciously leaned into the touch, craving something he couldn’t put a name to, something deep and dark and needful. Suddenly he couldn’t get enough; he turned, nuzzling Spike’s hand, taking it in his and nipping the delicate skin of the wrist. He wanted everything, touch and skin – he waited.

”Take me in, into your mouth,” Spike ordered, pressing his fingers against the boy’s lips, pushing against the softness, gaining entrance into hot wetness.

Xander sucked on the fingers, feeling a pull from deep down, making him wish he were on his knees doing more, doing everything. His other hand crept down to cup himself, but his hand was halted before it reached its destination. He looked up to see the vampire looking down at him with glittering eyes.

”If you want to play with something…” Spike purred as he guided the hand to his own bulge.

At that moment, Anya popped up beside Xander and cried, ”Hey, wait; I wanna…”

”Wanna play a game?” Buffy asked Spike, who was trapped beneath her, between her quaking thighs. His pale, hard flesh felt lush under her hands; she was suddenly possessed by the desire to bruise that perfect flesh, to mould it and break it and make it hers. She stared into that perfect face, wanting to smash it, kiss it, make it bleed, only for her.

”It’s always been a game, love,” he replied, with no sorrow, just acceptance.

She gazed down into blue eyes, hearing him say “You know I’ve always let you win.” The voice changed, “I like it when you’re on top, you know.” Buffy found herself staring into familiar brown eyes that never could hide all of the pained vulnerability hidden in the soul. Feelings of destruction almost gone, she knew this was right somehow, more… needful. She wrapped her hands tightly in thick dark hair before leaning in for a kiss.

Buffy bolted awake, body sated and eyes bright with tears. She needed something, anything, anyone to get it out of her system… Spike…

Xander awoke, panting with frustrated desire. He leaned over to place a gentle kiss on Anya’s forehead, chuckling at her mutterings about evil bunnies in her sleep. He padded softly to the bathroom and turned on the shower.