Nocturnal Bravura

A Time To Cry



AUTHOR’S NOTE: Manipulated dialogue from The Body.



William still watched them from a distance an ache filled his chest. He saw the look in his brother’s eyes even from here. He knew Lizzie was there with him. He tried not to feel anger and jealousy. But he did. His brother again getting the one thing he so desperately wanted and needed.



But he had his own memories. Memories that comforted him tonight.



FLASHBACK



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William sat at his desk trying to read his text. It was hard, everything hurt. Two weeks ago The Giles’s family was torn asunder.



Spike was out patrolling while Rupert and William were across town giving a report to a member of The Council. It was a simple trip to the grocery store. Eggs and other various household items were needed. A trip that should have only taken 30 minutes tops for the mother of the twins but Jenny Giles never returned home.



While she was walking back to the car a group of menacing looking teens surrounded her. They looked like your run of the mill hooligans, but Jenny Giles knew better they were vamps new in town ready to make their mark in The Hellmouth. They had no idea who she was. No idea about her sons and the skills she possessed. They soon found out as Jenny disposed of three of the four of them. The last of them moved to swiftly for her and knocked her stake out of her hand plugging it into her chest ready to feed on her but never getting the opportunity because people came running out of the store when they heard the ruckus.



If they had gotten there a few minutes before, if Jenny possessed a smidgen of Slayer healing it would have been nothing but a close call. But fate was not kind that night. In the confines of a small emergency room of Sunnydale Memorial; Jenny Giles surrounded by the men she adored said private goodbyes to each of them and joined her sister in the hereafter. Another name logged in The Watcher’s journals the remarkable women who gave birth to the first Male Slayer was gone.



Spike went nearly insane he no longer slayed he went hunting. Hunting for the creature that took his mother away from him. He refused to speak to his father still blaming him for everything that happen. Only spoke to his brother when he needed information. The only person he ever showed anything but rage to was Lizzie. Lizzie truly got everything good in him. All his love, his devotion, his loyalty. He cared only for the well being of Lizzie and her family spending more and more time at The Summer’s home than in his own. He only came home to train, gather information and trade barbs with his father. Joyce tried her best to get through to Spike but he never listened. He would disappear into the wee hours of the night then climb into Lizzie’s window and crawl into bed with her. Sometimes they made love, sometimes she would comfort him when he cried all the time they would hold each other.



The one occasion when Rupert asked Lizzie to talk to Spike was met with venom and resistance by Lizzie.



“You don’t get it! I’m the only thing that brings him peace. I will not take that away from him. When he comes to me he knows he is safe. Don’t you dare ask me to ever betray that!” Lizzie screamed.



Both Joyce and Rupert were growing more and more concerned on the matter of Spike and Lizzie’s relationship. They both had their own reasons.



Rupert worried because of how much he counted on her, too much. He never truly believe Lizzie was the only thing Spike cared about in the world until his mother died. Now Spike showed him at every turn the truth of that statement.



Joyce worried that Lizzie no longer had her own identity. She feared that Lizzie could no longer define herself outside of being the love of Spike’s life.



William holding true to his predestined role could do nothing but watch. Watch as everything around him spun chaotically. Watch his broken father tried to pick of the pieces of his life. He tried to do his best to comfort him but in the end all he would do is watch and help out when he could. He watched as he lost his mother vowing to keep the promise she asked of him on her death bed. He watched as his brother slipped away from him as well. A stranger with his face. All he could do was watch. Until he heard the tiny knock on his window...



William drew his curtain and saw Lizzie crouched down looking at him.



“Lizzie!” He exclaimed holding out his hand to let her in.



“Why did you do that? You could have hurt yourself.” William said helping her dust off her jeans.



“I’m not that weak Will. I know how to climb a trellis. I have watched Spike do it for nearly two years now.” Lizzie said.



William smiled.



“I know Pet. But Spike is not here.” William said.



“I know that William he’s out. He won’t be back for awhile.” Lizzie said.



“Um, Lizzie about where Spike goes..” William said trying to find an excuse for his brother.



“You don’t have to do that Will. I don’t need to know where he goes. I never have. I know he comes back and that’s enough. I know he has been difficult he doesn‘t mean it.” Lizzie said.



William nodded.



“I’m not here to talk about Spike though.” She said.



“What is it then? Are you o.k.? Does Lil’ Bit need anything?” He asked.



Lizzie looked at him seriously.



“Will stop.” She said.



“Stop what?” He asked.



“Stop trying to think about everyone else for once.” Lizzie said quietly.



“I’m here for you.” She said.



William sat down at the edge of his bed.



Lizzie knelt down in front of him.



“You don’t think I see. I know I am not as intuitive as Dawnie but I see Will. I see you. I see you trying so hard to hold it together. You don’t have to do that with me Will. I am your best friend remember?” Lizzie said squeezing his knees.



“You don’t understand Lizzie I can’t just....I have to do these things, 'cause ...



William shut his eyes tight trying not to cry.



“Cause when I stop, then she's really gone. And I'm trying. Lizzie , I am, I am really trying to take care of things, for everyone but I don't even know what I'm doing. Mom always knew” William whispered.



Lizzie touched his cheek.



“You can’t know Will. Not now. You can’t be there for everyone.”



“Well, who's gonna be if I'm not? Huh, Da? Spike? They can’t even function. Who's gonna make things better?”



William began to shake. He looked at Lizzie fearful



“Who's gonna take care of us? I don't know what we're gonna do. I'm scared. I can’t be scared.” William said closing his eyes.



“I am not going to say it’s going to be o.k. Things will never be o.k. again. But you’ll find a way to go on. You’re the strong one Will. You don’t see it now but it’s true. I know you will find a way to make it work I believe in you Will.” Lizzie said taking his face in her hands.



William smiled at her.



“I’ve been distant haven’t I? To The Bit and you..” William realized.



“It’s o.k. I understand.” Lizzie said.



William hugged Lizzie tightly.



“I didn't mean to push you away, I didn't. I just, I couldn't let you see me....”



“Cry.” Lizzie finished for him.



“It’s o.k. Will, you can cry. Cry all you want to, all you need too.” She whispered.



Something broke inside William Giles for the first time in weeks he did the one thing he feared.



He cried.



He sobbed as Lizzie held him in her arms.



Lizzie rocked him back and forth. Stroking his head coaxing him to let it all out.



“Wait can you stay awhile?” William whispered.



“Sure.” Lizzie said.



“Lay down I’ll read you a book or something.” Lizzie teased.



William laid down.



He looked at Lizzie for a moment.



It was ironic to him. He was always so afraid to tell her how he felt what he wanted but now when he felt his weakest he found his voice.



“Lizzie co..could you just hold me?” He asked.



Lizzie smiled without a word she slid on top of his bed and took him in her arms.



William laid on her shoulder and closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of Lizzie surrounding him.



“Will.” Lizzie said.



“Yeah?” He replied.



“You know I’m your girl too right?” She whispered.



William smiled he knew what she meant. He knew it was different than what she felt for Spike. But tonight just tonight he closed his eyes, he lied to himself and pretended.



“Yes Lizzie, I know you’re my girl.”



END OF FLASHBACK



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William wiped a single tear from his eye. He began to walk away. When he saw Spike looking straight at him his head turned away but still holding Buffy in his arms.



The brother’s shared a look.



There would be no barbs tonight. No threats, no dance.



Not tonight.



William uncrossed his arms and slowly walked away.



Spike continued to sit there holding onto to the precious few moments he had with a somewhat lucid Lizzie.



For their mother



There would be no war



There would be quiet



Just for tonight....