What comes after

Chapter 22: Her Visions

“And what was that about?”

“You see… I apologize but I don’t remember your name, and I can’t call you kitten any more, can I?” Drussilla’s voice sounded almost sad at that.

“No, you can’t. And it’s Xander”.

“All right, Xander. I was a Duchess once. That’s why he vowed like that”.

Giles couldn’t believe what he had heard. “You are the Duchess of Drumthorn. Good God!! But weren’t you a nun?”

“No, but I was going to be. I was young and innocent and pure once. I saw the stars dancing and I believed it to be God’s gift, so I wanted to devote my life to Him. Angelus ended all that”.

“He wanted my visions, and he wanted my purity, but before he took them he drove me insane using my family’s pain and my own to mold me to his liking”.

“I wanted to do the same to William. But I was unable. We were predators, William and I, we feasted in the blood of innocents. But we didn’t have the need for other’s pain my sire always had. I don’t have a soul, but I know the difference between right and wrong. It was clouded before by madness, but it was always there. Vampires know this, but they tend to obey the demon’s demand to cast good aside. We have no conscience, and so we feel no remorse. I don’t regret the lives I taken, as I say, we are predators, carnivores if you will, that’s what predators do. It’s in our nature”.

“But carnivores can also feel other emotions beside the exhilaration of the hunt”. Her gaze fixed itself on Buffy. “We can feel love as well, a need for others. I loved William. Perhaps not as he loved me, but it was love nonetheless. I don’t think I would have survived without him. And so now I’m here to give him back to you”.

“As I was saying, then, I was on my way here when Angelus found me. I have a new lover, you see. His mane is Sleader, and he works for the Powers That Be. He has the power to help people and demons through emotions, and he helped me. Some time ago, a little man came to me. He’s worked with my lover before, and he encouraged me to help as well”.
“My visions show me pain in others, and my lover tries to ease it”.

“So you had a vision about us?” Dawn asked.

“Well, not really. But I knew this was the right place to help”. She turned her eyes to Buffy. “Do you know why I left him?”

“You cheated”. Buffy’s voice was cold.

“Yes, but that’s not the reason. I told him when he came for me. I told him he was covered in you. To me he tasted like ashes, for he’s love for me was dead”.

“You said something when he had us both tied up… that you knew before him”.

“And I did”. Her hand moved towards Dawn, answering her question, but her eyes remained with Buffy. “My visions were of Spike, but I knew he was dead, I also knew his soul was not gone, for it remained with you”.

“How did you know?”

“The stars see everything, and some times they share with me. The visions came from them. The rest I knew because he is my child”.

“I could always feel him. The last few years more than ever before because his emotions were so strong. I felt a lot of pain and loneliness from him, that went on for a long time. Then there was a time when I had to block the link because there was so much pain I almost couldn’t function. That was about two years ago. At the same time there was great unrest in the demon world, talk about a God opening a portal…”

“Glory” Buffy said.

Dawn made the connection between the vampiress words and her sister’s “That’s when you died”.

“I wondered about that”. Drussila said. “Then there was a lot of grief, confused emotions, and then the soul. I had to block the link then as well. It was bombarding me with mixed feelings. But closer to the end there was happiness, and fear”.

Buffy remembered Spikes words after she returned with the scythe “I’m terrified, it was the best night of my life. I just held you and watched you sleep, and it was the best night of my life, so I’m terrified”.

The vampiress continued “I felt the souls communion and his death. So when the visions started, I knew I was needed here, where his soul is”.

“But his soul was destroyed by the amulet’s power”. Willow said. “How can it be here?”

“The soul remains. That’s what pulls her to him. In the end, the soul felt it’s imminent destruction and so went were it knew in would be welcomed, with it’s mate”.

“They cannot be soul mates”. Giles interrupted. “They love each other. I understand that now, but before that they hated each other, they were enemies for years”.

2Yes, they kept trying to kill each other, and they fought all the time”. Xander contributed.

“But they didn’t kill each other”.

“No,” Buffy said very softly, her voice full of sadness. “We just hurt each other time and again, I hurt him”.

2You always hurt the one you love, it is said”

Buffy looked at the vampiress with a startled expression. Those had been his exact words.
She didn’t share that with the others, instead she asked. “So you had visions?”

“Yes, I saw terrible images, images of…”

“We know”. Xander interrupted. “And you came to help?”

“Yes, whistler told me where you were. And I came here”.

“Whistler?” Giles knew the name. “The same Whistler that helped Angel?”

“I don’t know”.

“I remember”. Willow said. “Was he short and with an ugly hat”.

“That’s him, he’s in desperate need of a wife, he dresses in the most atrocious manner” said the vampiress with an expression of horror at the memory.

Dawn’s yell interrupted the conversation, she was shaking Buffy who had fallen asleep. They all rushed to help her but the Slayer wouldn’t wake up.

“You have the spell ready, do you not.” Drussilla asked the witch.

“Yes, we just needed you”.

“Well now you have me. This would be a good time to start”.