My Immortal

Chapter 20


The sensation of movement disoriented Buffy as she woke. She frowned and then blinked hard. She realized she was in the back of a car and was obviously traveling at speed. She groaned as she sat up , she saw the back of his bleached head and groaned. He must have knocked me out, she thought. Spike pulled over and parked up.He could sense her coming too and waited.

"Spike?"
"So, your awake, how'd you feel pet?"
"Don't pet me, I feel like shit, what did you do to me and where the hell are you taking me?"
"Okay first things first, don't bloody stake me! Second , I fought you, I won and I... "

An uncomfortable silence hung between them, finally Buffy swallowed hard and looked at him, tears in her eyes.

"You turned me"

Spike nodded

"I'm taking you where the Watchers Council and Angel won't find us love"

Buffy threw a punch at him and hit his nose. Spike covered it and blinked away the pain.

"Ow"
"Where are you taking me?"
"Canada , you bloody vicious bint!"


Buffy absorbed the information and sat quiet. Spike reached into the glove box and retrieved a pouch of blood and his fags. He lit one up and sunk his fangs into the pouch. He drained it quickly and threw the empty pack into the paper bag. Buffy watched and morphed at the sight of him feeding.

"You hungry?"

Buffy shook her head

"Come and sit here Buffy"

He patted the front seat and opened the window slightly so that he could dispose of his fag.Buffy climbed over the seats and sat on the bench like front seat. She wiped away her tears and sniffed.

"I'm sorry, for what it's worth I'm sorry. Not making you feel much better I guess though"
"What will happen now, I can't hunt, you know that don't you? I can't let you hunt either"

Spike had a feeling she would say that. He opened the glove box and she gazed at the pouches of blood that were in there.

"Got more in a freezer box in the boot pet."



Giles had informed Angel of Buffys eagerness to fight Spike and with Buffy not checking in, everyone was worried. Xander,Anya and Willow checked Buffys favorite places, while Giles and Angel checked her patrol route in a hope that she was just injured somewhere.Angel entered the crypt and growled. Spike and Buffys scent was heavy , meaning that she had been there within the last twenty four hours.Giles stood beside him and sighed.

"Giles, I can smell her blood, it's possible that he has killed her or..."
"Turned her? The Watchers diaries say that he has never been one to turn a childe , why would he turn a Slayer?"
"He doesn't see her as just a Slayer Giles, he was obsessed, in love with her maybe, I'm not sure, have you informed Joyce yet?"
"No, I was hoping that Buffy would turn up injured and tell us that she defeated him"
"That looks highly unlikely now Giles. I suggest you inform Joyce and the Council, get Faith back here to guard the Hellmouth as well, I'll patrol , I'll do all I can , you know that if there's anything I can do , just call."

They made their way to Joyce's and Angel left Giles to talk to Buffys Mother. He continued on to his apartment, calling it quits for the night. He needed to be alone and to sort out the feelings that assaulted him.


Joyce sat staring into her cup of tea. Giles' voice echoed through her mind . 'I'm sorry to tell you this but it seems Buffy has gone missing, presumed ... I can't say it... she may have died Joyce' .She couldn't hear anything, couldn't swallow, could do anything except breath and stare at her cup of tea. Anger rose and Joyce threw the cup across the room.

"How could you allow her to up against him alone? Wasn't Angel supposed to keep my baby safe from predators like him? Why? Tell me why?"

Joyce collapsed into his arms, crying and repeating the same question over and over. Giles cradled her and stroked her back , trying to find the answer to her questions himself. He cried silently as he realized that he was just as guilty as Spike. He ,as her Watcher, should have insisted that she take Angel as support.


Angel settled on his bed and stared at the book, the page was held open but remained unread , his mind tried to connect the feeling that he had. Guilt plagued him but it was different. Faintly familiar, like....

"Oh god no"

He shot out of bed, the book forgotten and cast aside , he dressed and ran out of the door, pulling his coat on as he made his way to Giles' apartment.


Spike paid for their hotel room and threw his bag on the bed, Buffy stood near the door and watched as he busied himself putting the pouches of blood in the fridge. He looked up at her and smiled sheepishly. Buffy walked to the bed and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Buffy, you'll feel better once you eat something"

She turned her head away , his words revolted her, the thought of eating, drinking blood repulsed her. Spike sighed and sat next to her and pulled her to him.He shrugged off his duster and leaned his head to the side.Buffy watched wide eyed as he offered her his neck.

"Buffy , if you don't feed soon , your demon will take over and be stronger than you, it will feed and it will probably be one of the innocents your so prone to protecting. Do you want that?"
"No"
"Then feed"

Buffy stared at his neck and then looked into his eyes. His face was softened and he looked as if he was almost pleading. Buffy felt her face change and looked back up at Spike. He nodded and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her onto his lap. He stroked her back and closed his eyes waiting for her to bite down. Buffy edged closer and licked at his neck, finding the artery , she scrapped her fangs across his skin gently before sinking them in. Spike gasped and licked his lips as the euphoric sensation of having a mate feed from you hit him. He moaned as she suckled slowly from him, her tongue played over the skin as she drank, sending bolts of pleasure through him. She ground herself into his groin , making Spike moan louder.Buffy had never felt anything like it. She felt heat radiate from her core ,and it felt like it was heating her blood. Her heart felt like it was swelling under her breast and she felt so incredibly powerful. Spike thrust up at her and was amazed when she gasped and swiveled her hips into him, forcing his straining erection against her mound. Her purr like growl spurred him on.Spike kissed her neck and pierced her skin with his fangs, not to feed but to connect with her. Buffy withdrew her fangs and lapped at the blood that swelled in the puncture wounds.

Buffy curled up on his lap and toyed with the lapel of his coat. Her thoughts were as mixed as her emotions. She worried about her Mum and friends, she was worried about Giles and Angel and about the Hellmouth. She knew that they would call Faith back to Sunnydale. She hadn't met her but from what Angel had told her, she wasn't that easy to get on with and was in fact a loner with an attitude problem. She wondered if her Mum knew yet, if Giles had put two and two together and had told her Mum. Tears swelled as she thought about Joyce. Buffy looked up at Spike . He kissed the top of her head and held her close. She should hate him for what he had done but she couldn't find it in her. She was angry, just not in a 'I want to stake your ass to the wall' way. Giles and Angel would want to stake them, she knew that and that was why he took them as far from Sunnydale as he could get. Buffy yawned and rested her head on his shoulder.

"You tired baby?"

Buffy nodded and got up off of his lap. She went to the bathroom and automatically looked in the mirror. She stared at it and couldn't take her eyes off it. Buffy finally pulled her focus back on getting herself ready for bed. She turned on the shower and undressed, she stepped into the shower and blocked all thoughts and felt the tension melt away. It was as if they were running down the plug with the water, leaving her relaxed and warm again.Spike was already in bed when she came out of the bathroom. He sat with his legs uncovered and his chest bare, the sheet only covering the tops of his legs and groin. Buffy knew that if she still had circulation she would be scarlet by now. She slid under the covers and faced away from Spike, saying a quick goodnight to him before she closed her eyes. He watched as she fell asleep, taking in all the differences in her now that she was a vampire. He found very few. Her skin was still tanned, her eyes still shone with the same mischievous glint, her lips were still the same shade of pink and her blood still tasted the same.He curled around her and wrapped his arm around her waist. He rested his head on her pillow and closed his eyes.Tomorrow night they would set off again and travel as far north as they could get before dawn.

Buffy tossed and turned as she dreamed. She saw herself tied , bound to a rocky wall, a group of men in native dress surrounded her, all chanting and hitting spears and sticks on the floor as a beat. A box with intricate carvings was bought forward and placed before her. The man before her said something and opened the box , an oily black mass grew from it and swirled in front of her, it arched towards the roof of the cave and hung mid air . As if it could see or sense her, it turned and slowly bent its shape to her. She screamed as it lunged forward and entered her body through her mouth and nose. Buffy struggled against the chains that held her fast. The last of the mass disappeared inside her and Buffy fell to her knees ,screaming. The mass swirled inside her, the sensation of being pulled apart made her collapse into unconsciousness. As if she was still watching herself, Buffy saw a man approach her and watched as her face morphed into that of a vampire, the man frowned and repeated the chant. Buffy watched as her demon receded and she seemed to seek acceptance from him. The man laid his hand on her head and a light shone around his hand. Buffy watched as she faded from the cave and she felt pulled to somewhere that felt familiar. She watched as Spike fought demons by her side, battling beside her with his cocky smirk upon his lips . Was she seeing their future? Was this a Slayer dream? Was she somehow meant to continue her life's chosen path with Spike by her side? It seemed realistic enough. Buffy shifted in the bed and Spike tightened his arms around her and kissed her neck. Buffy laid awake until she couldn't stand it any longer. She eased herself out of the bed and sat in the chair, watching Spike and thinking over her dream and found more questions than answers.

She really needed Giles right now. He would get the gang researching until they found the answers. Spike stirred and she found herself getting nervous, she half expected her heart to pound out of her chest. She wondered why it seemed perfectly natural to be so at ease with him. Shouldn't she want to stake him for turning her? Why didn't she want to? Was it the sire , childe bond thing she heard Angel going on about a few months ago? Buffy rolled her eyes, if she was honest with herself, she still loved him, carried that love since she was sixteen and she had run to him. She remembered the pain of returning to the apartment after the exorcism ,and finding him gone. She blamed Angel, had hit him repeatedly as tears streamed from her eyes. Once she was back in Sunnydale she had blamed Giles, although she didn't actually hit him, she'd ignored him though and had patrolled every night alone, hoping that some nasty would best her. Angel had tried to help her, had been supportive, had listened when she wanted to talk, had given her hugs when she cried, had even tried to initiate a relationship with her, but all she wanted was one man, or vampire rather. Slowly she had healed and she thought she was over him. That's when he came back but would he stay this time? She glanced over at Spike and wiped the tears away.She hoped so.

Buffys funeral was a quiet affair with just Joyce, Angel, Giles, and a few of Buffys close friends. It was held at dusk and Joyce choose a quiet corner of Restfield with a Willow tree overhung her headstone , the hardest thing to come to terms with was the fact that Buffy hadn't died in the truest sense, she was still out there, somewhere. As the small group of mourners made their way back to the house, Joyce asked Angel to hang back with Giles.

"I want you to find her and bring her back home"
"Joyce we have no way of knowing where they are and even if we do find them, we cannot guarantee Buffy will want to come back here"

Giles felt as though he was breaking her heart all over again by saying it, but he couldn't give Joyce any false hope. As she broke down again he held her and lead her from the grave side. Angel watched them as they made their way across the cemetery, he pulled his mobile phone from his pocket and called in favors, a team of six demons from all over the country agreed to search for the turned Slayer and her sire. Smiling to himself, Angel made his way back to Revello Drive. He just hoped that it wouldn't take too long.