The Seer

TITLE: The Seer
AUTHOR: Willie J
EMAIL: wmj166@msn.com
WEB SITE: N/A
PAIRINGS: A/X
RATING: NC-17
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Buffy et all, not Angel the Series.
FEEDBACK: Oh please send me feedback, privately or through the list
DISTRIBUTION: List Archives
SPOILERS: BtVs S7, Ats S4 HUGE spoilers as a matter of fact
A/N: The scene in Buffy's kitchen never took place between Buffy and Xander, Xander never tried to take Dawn to safety.
BETA'D BY: Kris & James
SUMMARY:


Chapter 1

Sunnydale....Cemetery

"Happy to see me," Angel said as he stood uncertainly, looking at Buffy. The next thing he knew he had an armful of a blonde Slayer in his arms kissing the life out of him, that is if he had a life, he thought wryly.

In her kiss he could sense the desperation. The fear on her lips, in her taste was nearly overwhelming his senses and he broke away because it was too much to absorb all at once. He also realized something else that made his mouth twist in a sour grin, something else that he could taste on her breath: Spike.

As he looked at her, he wondered when had he fallen out of love with her.

"Well, I guess that qualifies as happy to see me," he said wryly.

Buffy looked at him in astonished wonder, "Angel, what are you doing h— don’t even. I just want to bask. Okay, I’m basked. Now, what the hell are you doing here?"

Angel raised a brow, looking down at the fallen man, "Not saving the damsel in distress, that’s for damn sure."

Buffy snickered as she reached down and picked up the scythe.

"Oh, you know me. Not much with the damseling," she smiled at him.

"You've got your share of distress, though," Angel said quietly, looking at her intently.

Buffy fell silent and looked away, "You heard?"

Angel walked across the room and picked up the folder of information he had brought with him from Lilah Morgan at Wolfram & Hart in Los Angeles.

Looking at her as he flipped through the folder, "I’ve got coverage on the whole thing. It’s very gripping. It needs a third act, though," he smiled faintly.

"You definitely have to leave L.A.," Buffy said muttered sarcastically.

Angel looked at Caleb’s sprawled body, then turned back to Buffy.

"It’s The First, right? The First Evil. The power that tried to convince me to kill myself," he said to be sure of what he had already suspected.

Buffy sighed wearily, "Yeah. It’s gotten a little more ambitious since then. It’s raising an army, now."

"Yeah, well, it failed once and I’m here to tell you—," Angel began to say when pain exploded in the back of his head.


As he struggled to his feet, he could hear scuffling and fighting across the room and then a weird choked cry.

"Okay, *now* I’m pissed. Where is he," he snarled looking around.

He saw Buffy looking down at her feet, first to one side, then the other, and stared in shock at the two halves of the man on the floor.

"He had to split," she said with a straight face, then began to crack up laughing.

Angel's eyes flickered briefly as he joined her in laughing, no he wasn't smelling Spike from Buffy, Spike was somewhere here, within the tomb.

Buffy gestured to the folder that he still had, "I’ll have the guys go through that, see if there’s anything new. Reliable source?"

Angel's eyes narrowed as she said that, there was something wrong here, something different about her that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Not even remotely," he said dryly, searching the shadows for Spike.

"Any port in an apocalypse," faintly he heard her say.

Turning his attention back to her, "I brought something else as well." He removed a silver amulet with a multi-faceted crystal at its center from his pocket.

"I can already tell you, I have nothing that goes with that," Buffy looked at him with annoyance in her eyes.

Angel smirked, "It’s not for you."

"Splainy," Buffy squinted at him inquiringly.

Sometimes, her shorthanded version of speaking could really be charming....but not tonight now, he sighed.

Angel said seriously, "I don’t know everything. It’s very powerful and probably very dangerous. It has a purifying power… cleansing power…possibly scrubbing bubbles," he smirked briefly before continuing, "The translation is…anyway, it bestows strength to the right person who wears it."

"And the right person is," Buffy raised a brow.

"Someone ensouled but stronger than human. A champion," he said with a cool look on his face, "As in me."

They stared at one another, "Or me," Buffy said quietly.

Angel hesitated, "No. I don’t know nearly enough about this to risk you wearing it. Besides, you’ve got that real cool axe-thing going for you."

He could see the wariness in her eyes, "So you’re going to be with me in this?"

"Shoulder-to-shoulder. I’m yours," he said lightly, watching her intently.

Her eyes were hard as she said, "No."

"No what," his eyes narrowed on her.

"No. You’re not going to be in this fight," Buffy said with determination.

"Why the hell not," Angel asked puzzled by her refusal.

"Because I can’t risk you," Buffy said quietly, looking away.

He could hear the quiet desperation in her voice.

"But you can risk everyone else, is that it?" He raised a brow before continuing, "Buffy, you need me in this," he said softly.

"No, I need you gone," Buffy looked at him with fear in her eyes.

He could practically see her mind racing to come up with a reasonable explanation to keep him safe.

"If..if I lose— if this thing gets past Sunnydale— then it’s days, maybe hours, before the rest of the world goes. I need a second front and I need you to run it," she said looking satisfied with her explanation.

Angel looked at her calmly, "Okay. That’s one reason. What’s the other?"

Buffy said tersely, "You didn't ask for two reasons," before stalking out of the tomb.

Angel followed her outside, "It's Spike, isn't it," he asked softly and at her look of shock, "His scent… I remember it pretty well."

Buffy whirled away from him, "You vampires. Didn’t anybody ever tell you the whole “smelling people” thing’s a little gross?" He could see how tense and upset she was becoming.

"Is he your boyfriend...are you lovers," he asked, his voice loud in the quiet of the cemetary.

Her fear scent increased, "Is that your business?"

Angel sighed, "Are you in love with him? Okay, maybe I’m out of line but this is kind of a curve ball for me. I mean, we are talking about Spike here." He sincerely hoped she knew what she was doing and at her next words he wanted to pound his head against the wall.

"It’s different. He’s different. He has a soul now," she said quietly, still without looking at him.

Angel rolled his eyes, "Oh. Well." Like that would really make a difference. There were plenty of human serial killers and rapists running around, and guess what...they had souls too!

Buffy turned and looked at him suspiciously, "What?" she snapped, squirming guiltily. She didn't love Spike but she needed him to stay, he was only other fighter she had. She hardened her heart against a dark painfilled face and the patch covering his eye.

Angel blinked, "That’s great. Everyone’s got a soul now."

"He’ll make a difference," Buffy said quietly, looking away from Angel's penetrating eyes.

"You know, I did start it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing," he said lightly, trying to understand what she had just said. 'He'll make a difference' he hoped that she meant in her life and not just in battle. He wouldn't want even that for Spike, to be used and then casually tossed aside as worthless.

"Oh, my god, are you twelve," she laughed and cringed, even to her ears her laughter sounded false and she swallowed hard. This meeting with Angel wasn't exactly going as she dreamed it would. In her dream, in her fantasy they were together, in each other's arms...loving each other.

Angel said with a raised brow, "I’m getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn’t necessarily bring out the champion in me."

"You’re not getting the brush-off. Are you just going to come here and go all Pacey on me every time I have a..a...boyfriend," she asked lightly, thrilled at the jealousy she could almost see in his eyes.

"Boyfriend, huh," Angel smirked, his mind whirling in thought.

Buffy looked at him, "He’s not. But… he is in my heart," she whispered softly, lowering her eyes and peeping up at him.

"That’ll end well," Angel snorted in disgust, if she wasn't serious about Spike then she needed to let Spike go. An obsessed vampire wasn't exactly a pretty sight.

"What was the highlight of our relationship— when you broke up with me or when I killed you? I’m well aware of my stellar history with guys and no, I don’t see fat grandchildren in the offing with Spike. But I don’t think that really matters right now. You know, in the midst of all this insanity, a couple of things are actually starting to make sense. And the guy thing…," she looked away, "I always feared there was something wrong with me. You know, because I couldn’t make it work. But maybe I’m not supposed to," she sighed staring sightlessly at the ground.

"Because you’re the Slayer," he guessed quietly, wondering when she had changed. He didn't quite know what to make of this Buffy.

Buffy gave him a puzzled look, "No, because… okay. I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m going to turn out to be. I make it through this and the next thing Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the next thing and maybe one day I turoundound and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m...uhm, enjoy warm, delicious cookie-me, then that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done," she looked at him, hoping he would understand what she was trying to say.

Angel looked at her warily, "Any thoughts on who might enjoy… do I have to go with the cookie analogy?"

'YOU! You big idiot, she wanted to scream but instead she said evenly, "I’m not really thinking that far ahead. That’s kinda the point."

Angel walked her home in silence, listening to her talking about everyone, catching him up on the how everyone was doing, responding whenever she paused for breath.

Some of the things he knew, like Willow being a lesbian, Tara's death, Xander's calling off the wedding, Giles leaving...despite the lack of visiting Willow made sure that Angel and Cordy stayed in touch with the remaining Scoobies.

Her motto, 'Once a Scooby, Always a Scooby' and Angel smiled, his fondness for the little Witch lifting his dark introspective mood as he tried to ignore the quick looks Buffy kept sneaking at him.

With a twinge of shock as they approached her street, he realized that dawn was swiftly approaching and he had no place to stay.

Buffy looked him, "Why don't you stay us? us?" and lowered her eyes coyly.

Hesitantly he agreed, wondering if this would be another decision he would soon come to regret.

Xander sat in the dining room with a bottle, ignoring the relentless chatter ofuncouncomfortable Anya. He was aware that things would never be the same to them, he saw the revulsion in her eyes every time she came near him.

He snorted silently to himself as he raised the bottle to his lips again, well at least she*saw * him. His lips twisted in a nasty smile, not like dear ole Buffy, the great Slayer, the goddamn bitch! She could barely stand to be in the same room as he now that he lost an eye.

There were days when he really, really wanted to beat the living shit out of Buffy for her lousy attitude. He would too, if it weren't for the fact that she was a lot stronger than him and most likely would rip his arm off, and beat him with it.

If he survived this fight, he was gonna get as far away from her as possible. Every time she looked at him, he could see the cold look in her eyes as if his losing his eye was somehow HIS fault.

He eyed the now empty bottle and staggered into the kitchen. Peering blearily into the fridge he grabbed the last bottle and stumbled back to his chair, again ignoring Anya. Gotta make this one last until I can go to sleep, he thought.

Every time he started feeling good about himself with Dawn and Willow's help, feeling that he could still make a difference, in comes Queen B... ignoring him, talking about him like he wasn't even fuckin' sitting right in front of her. He could see how upset it was making Willow and Dawn and tried to smooth things over with a joke or two. But he could tell that his jokes were becoming as lame and lifeless as he felt. He had lost an eye, not his brain! He could contribute plenty to the group if Buffy would get off of her friggin' high horse and stop trying to put him down every time he opened his mouth.
ank ank God, nobody asked his opinion of whether she should be allowed back, he would've given them a hearty 'Hell No!' and a blistering look.

The door slammed and he started as Spike stormed into the house and down into the basement. Xander smirked, well looks like someone got their, now how did Spike put it, oh yeah, knickers in a bunch. He chortled, his dark mood lifting as he took another swig from his bottle, yup, nothing like seeing a pissed off Spike to make him feel better.

Ignoring the girls trailing in and out of the room, he nursed on the bottle feeling the effects taking hold. He knew he would definitely need help getting home aood ood friend that she was, Willow had long since elected herself his chauffeur. She knew how much he couldn't stand being around Buffy lately.

He could hear Dawn in the kitchen and started guiltily, uh oh can't let her see....

The front door opened and Buffy walked in smiling, he frowned as he saw Deadboy walking behind her.

He winced as Anya screamed, "Look out Buffy, it's the First!"

Xander began to laugh as instantly, there were a dozen girls with stakes in their hands in a half-circle in front of Angel who had stepped back instinctively.

Angel looked around at the sound of the laughter, his eyes widened in disbelief as he saw Xander...with an eye patch? What the hell happened here, he turned disbelieving eyes on Buffy and he was startled at the cold look on her face as she looked at the boy.

"Buffy, is there something that maybe you didn't mention," he asked slowly turning his attention back to Xander. The pain in the boy's dark gaze was almost staggering him

"Drunk again," Buffy sneered at Xander, her lips tight in revulsion as she steadfastedly refused to look at the dark patch covering his eye. Why the hell couldn't he have been gone by the time she returned, she was going to have to have a little talk with Willow, her mouth firmed. She refused to have Xander here if he was going to be drunk every night.

Angel looked down at her in astonishment his mouth opening...

"Xander Harris," Dawn stormed into the dining room, "Give me that!" she snatched the bottle from his loorasprasp and examined it closely, sighing in relief at seeing it more than half-filled. Turning, she started at the sight of the Potentials in front of her sister and, her eyes widened....Angel? She squealed with joy and launched herself at him.

"Angel! When did you get here," she yelled happily, hugging him tightly.

"About an hour ago, 'lil bit," Angel smiled down at her, forgetting for a moment Buffy's odd behavior.

"You seen Spike yet," Dawn asked eagerly, "Guess what? He's got a soul now, just like you," she crowed happily.

"Yeah, Buffy told me," reminded he looked at Buffy, puzzled at the cool look on her face as she watched Xander lurch to his feet.

"Yeah," Dawn smiled broadly, "Two souled vampires." Casually she raised the bottle to her lips and took a big gulp, jumping at the screech from Buffy.

"Are you insane," Buffy seethed as she snatched the bottle from her startled sister. Her eyes turning colder as she saw Willow coming down the stairs.

"It's bad enough that we have one drunkard in the house, I will not have you drinking also," she said with icy look at Xander, disdain in her eyes.

Willow didn't hear Buffy, her attention focused on Xander as he lurched up from the chair, "Hey, I can obviously see that you finished taking your medicine," she smiled as she rushed forward and grabbed him.

Looking around at the tense tableau in front of the door, she frowned slightly at the bottle in Buffy's hand.

"Buffy," she said in soft reproach, "We bought that especially for Xander, it's about the only thing other than water he can safely take with his medicine every night."

Buffy felt the bottle snatched out of her hands and she whirled around with an angry look on her face to see Angel, now holding the bottle with an unreadable look in his dark eyes.

"It's ginger ale, Buffy," he said quietly, giving the bottle back to a silent Dawn.

"Ginger ale? Medicine?" Buffy stammered out, as the Potentials looked at her quietly, disappointment in their eyes.

"Of course, ginger ale," Willow looked at her in confusion, "What did you think it was?"

"Good ole Buffy here, thought I was getting sloshed every night," Xander said with a cold smile at the flustered looking Buffy.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me what it was," Buffy snarled, her hand clenching in frustration.

"Well, being cd a d a drunken sot and you ranting at me was a lot better that you looking at me with that empty look in your eyes, like I'm just wasting your oh so valuable time," Xander held his head up, a look of disgust now on his face for her.

Buffy flushed, getting angry at the looks she was getting from everyone, "Well it was an honest mistake to make," she snapped looking away.

"Perhaps it was," Giles added coming down the stairs, "But had you bothered to inquire on Xan's c's condition, it would have been a mistake that you would not have made." His eyes were cool as he held her angry glare.

"This coming from a man that tried to get Spike killed," Buffy tried to bluster her way out of the mess she had made.

"Forget about it," Xander said tiredly, "Wills, I just want to get home and rest," he said with a sigh.

Angel stepped forward, "I need a place to stay tonight, perhaps I might stay with you?" he asked tentatively looking at the boy. What the hell happen to Xander, he could smell the despair and pain coming off him in waves.

Xander gave him a cold look of disbelief and opened his mouth to blast him...

"No Angel, there's plenty of room here," Buffy said desperately, clutching at Angel's arm.

A spiteful gleam lit Xander's eye, maybe he should be noble and courteous, let Deadboy stay with him...besides Buffy was too friggin' anxious to have her precious Deadboy here.

With a smirk on his face, Xander replied smoothly, "Why Deadboy, I would be delighted to have you stay. You may have Spike's old room," he said grandly.

Angel's mouth twitched, he recognized that look in the boy's eye, frequently seen on Cordy's face after an e-mail from Willow mentioning Buffy. And he felt an unexpected well of pain surge through him at the thought of Cordy and his son.

Xander blinked at the look of pain on Deadboy's face, uh oh what the hell happened in L.A. to make Deadb...ah Angel look like that? He felt ashamed of the happiness he had initially felt, that someone had worse problems than he. Well, whaddaya know, was he finally growing up? Naaaah, he decided with a smirk.

Willow looked suspiciously at Angel, not reassured at the smile he gave her, "Xander, you okay with this," she asked softly, her eyes worried as she looked at Xander.

"Yeah, it's cool," he said, his eye darkening slightly as he looked down into her worried face, seeing for the first time the lines of stress and strain on her face from taking care of him, he realized with shock.

His look softened, "It'll be okay, Wills. Enjoy yourself, have some fun with Kennedy," he leered at her, a gentle smile on his face. "Have I told you lately how much I love you," he said softly.

Willow's smiled widened, "Every day," she touched his face gently, "Every day that you look at me, you tell me."

She turned to Angel, ignoring the sputtering coming from Buffy, "You hurt him in any way and I will make your trip to hell look like Disneyland, do we understand each other?" and blackness seeped slowly into eyes before they cleared.

"Willow!" Buffy shouted angrily stepping forward, restrained by Angel's hand.

"I think you should be more worried about him dusting me, than me hurting him," Angel said wryly with a slow smile at Willow.

Willow blinked, "Oh yeah, Xander you are not allowed to dust Angel?" she turned and said sternly to Xander, her lips twitching in amusement.

Xander pulled a crestfallen look from somewhere, "Awww man, I never get to have any fun!" he pouted, God he hadn't had this much fun in a long time!

"To the bat mobile," Xander cried out, stumbling forward and only to be saved from a nasty fall by Angel's and Faith's timely catch.

Angel shook his head, smiling slightly as thent ont of despair lessen.

Faith smiled at Angel over Xander's head. She had been a little shocked at Buffy's uncaring attitude towards Xander when he had gotten out of the hospital. Being in prison had given her a lot of time to reflect on the things she had done wrong. One of the few things that she had wanted to do was to apologize to Xander which she had done late one night. Grateful for his quiet acceptance on her stumbling words and his quick hug, of course he did have to cop a feel, she grinned to herself. Same ole Xander, but jokes aside, he was a good person to have around.

Her eyes met Angel's with worry and fear. Faith felt somewhat reassured by the look he gave her as she slowly released Xander.

"Well, if anyone wants my opinion," Buffy snarled, her hands stubbornly on her hips, "This is a stupid idea."

"Well, fortunately, ain't nobody asking for your damn opinion," Faith said lightly over her shoulder.

"Fine! Then I'll just go and see how Spike is doing," Buffy said coldly, trying to get a rise out of at least Angel.

"Why don't you just do that," Angel said as he helped Xander out of the house.

Xander inhaled slowly, feeling his head clear a little in the cool night air.

"Where do you live," Angel asked quietly beginning to direct them down the street, blinking as Xander dug in his heels.

"Why in the hell are we walking when we should be driving," Xander said in puzzlement, looking at Angel.

"Drive," Angel looked at Xander.

"Yeah, I have a car," Xander said dryly. "Curse my spendthrift ways," he remarked mildly.

"Always with the jokes," Angel muttered as Xander directed him to his car.

"Either you laugh or you cry," Xander remarked evenly when Angel got into the drivers seat, "And I'll be damned if I start crying at this stage." He looked determinedly out of the window, willfully ignoring the stinging sensation in his eye and taking a shaky breath before giving Angel directions to his apartment.

Angel flashed him a quick look, but Xander was still staring out of the window. He sighed softly feeling the smell of despair begin to increase in the boy. He quickly drove them to Xander's apartment and managed to get them both up the stairs safely, despite Xander's snickering remarks about having two left feet, he glared at Xander who was rubbing his shoulder absently after crashing into the wall.

"You can sleep in here," Xander said, opening the door to what used to be Spike's old room, "It's not much but on the plus side, it doesn't have any windows," he said with a wry smile.

Angel smiled briefly as he looked in the room.

"Thanks," he said awkwardly looking at Xander.

"Let's just make the place a little more vampire friendly," Xander said, then a dismayed look crossed his face, "I cannot believe I just said that."

Angel started laughing as they began to close the blinds around the room.

They regarded each other a little warily before Xander gave him a quick tour of the apartment.

"Here's the shower," Xander said opening another door, "I think there's still a couple of bags of blood in the freezer from when Spike stayed here," he frowned in thought, "If you like, I think I have some clothes that you can fit in," he offered, smirking at the brief look of dismay that flashed across Angel's face.

"Ah, I don't think that'll be necessary," Angel said slowly, his mind racing in thought, remembering the horrible shirts and pants the boy used to wear.

"Angel, I'm all grown up now and I know that sometimes, only sometimes mind you that certain plaids and checks don't go well together," Xander remarked dryly, "And that Hawiian shirts do NOT go with everything.....I do sometimes like to wear black."

Angel looked sheepish, "That obvious, huh."

"Yup," Xander smiled, "C'mon." He lead the way into his bedroom, opening his closet and pulling down a huge box. Both he and Angel struggled to get the box down to the floor, opening it.

"I've lost some weight the past couple of months," Xander explained pulling out a various assortment of sweatpants, chinos and jeans.

"Sorry, I don't keep spare underwear around for you to wear," he said apologetically.

"That's okay," Angel answered absently, going through the clothes, "I don't wear any." He looked up swiftly at the choking sounds the boy was making.

Xander's eye widened, "Too much information....waaay too much information!" he said loudly, "As a matter of fact, keep the clothes!"

Angel looked at him amused, "Don't tell me you've never gone 'commando'," he snickered at the look on the boy's face at his use of pop lingo.

"Deadboy," Xander said, "I am not discussing my commanderless state with you. My commando and commanderless state is not up for discussion," he said firmly, quivering slightly at the look on Angel's face.

Angel got an evil twissmilsmile on his face as he purred softly, "C'mon Xaannnnder," he stretched the name out and watched the quiver of shock rippled across the boy's face, "Don't tell me you haven't felt the glorious freedom of sliding a pair of pants up your legs, knowing that only a thin piece of fabric is all that stands between you and some stranger's hand, to feel the soft caress of silk or cotton gliding over your skin, arousing you, teasing you....making you ache," his words kept dropping lower and lower, ending in a soft seductive purr as he watched the boy's reaction to his voice.

Xander mind was practically shutting down as he imagined Angel's words, he could almost feel the soft caress of material against his body, gliding over his hot skin, teasing him to an aching state of arousal. He shook his head roughly.

Blinking, he gazed at the dark amused smile on Angel face, "You are an evil, evil man," he said slowly, "Staking would be too good for you."

Angel merely smiled, "That's for all the complaints you made when we were getting up here. 'Am I sure I'm a vampire' wasn't that what you said, and what about the 'You're unusually clumsy for a vampire'."

Xander flushed, looking around, "I was joking, you know aha ha ha," he insisted knowing he was caught.

Angel snorted, "Well, I was just joking back," he smirked. At least that smell of despair was leaving the boy.

"Fine," Xander sulked, "I better get in bed, or the old Xan-man ain't gonna be of any use tomorrow, or rather today, if some Bringers decide to bring it on," he smirked, catching a glimpse of his clock, then slumped back down, "Who am I kidding, like I'll be of any use if they came anyway," he muttered to himself, briefly forgetting that Angel was sitting across from him.

He started as he felt a hand touch him and looked up, his dark gaze held by Angel's.

"Xander, you've been a valuable warrior for almost seven years now," Angel began earnestly, "I don't know what's Buffy's problem right now, but I would be proud to have you as a member of my team in L.A."

Xander looked startled, "Yeah right, like what the hell can a one-eye man do," he snorted, secretly hoping that Angel could convince him to have faith in himself again.

"There's lots of things that you can do, I don't see your brain missing," Angel smiled and tapped the side of Xander's head gently, "Your arms and legs are still attached, and you can still see. So I don't see the detriment, but what I do see is a young man lacking confidence in himself," he peered into Xander's sudden downcast eye.

"Well, losing an eye can sometimes cause such things to happen," Xander's lips quirked into a small smile as he raised his head up and was caught in Angel's dark gaze, feeling something stirring in him....

Angel blinked, severing the moment and they both looked away with some awkwardness.

"Maybe I better go to my room now," Angel muttered, grabbing a handful of clothes as Xander tried to help. Their hands touched briefly and they both jerked back and the clothes tumbled back down again. Angel regarded the clothes in frustrated silence.

Xander backed away from Angel's suddenly disturbing presence, licking his tongue over dry lips. Damn, I have got to find a female...soon, was his panicky thought, cause I'm so not gay, despite my little joke. Ha ha ha, see funny laughter...it was a joke, dammit, he yelled silently to who ever was listening.

Angel inhaled softly at the faint smell of fear, panic and arousal that was scenting the air. He flashed a quick look at the wide eye of the boy, his eyes dropping to the wet lips as Xander nervously licked his lips again, gritting his teeth and suppressing a groan.

"Yeah, room...going to my room is a good idea," he mumbled, watching the tongue caressing the boy's soft lips again with hungry eyes, a low growl starting in his throat.

"Uhm, Deadboy...not that I have a problem wit'it," Xander laughed falsely, his eye wide in alarm, "But you're growling, not that it's not a nice growl," he said hastily loo look he refused to identify flashed across Angel's face. Nope, not gonna think about what that look was, was his determined thought.

"Oh. OH!" Angel jumped up, the clothes held carefully in front of his pants, "I'll just....go...to my...room, now, okay," he stammered backing away, reaching behind him for the doorknob. Twisting it quickly, he darted through the opening and ignored Xander's startled 'Wait'.

Xander blinked as the closet door opened again and Angel stepped out, "Sorry, wrong door," he heard Angel mutter before dashing through his bedroom door.

Sighing softly, he carefully put the clothes back into the box and shoved it against the wall, maybe tomorrow he'll get Angel, or someone else to help him put it back in the closet.

He heard the shower come on, and unwilling images of a naked Angel flashed in his mind, wet, soapy....hard!

"GAH!" he cried clutching at his head. "I am so not GAY! I like girls, breasts, great big breasts, wet pussies, CUNTS," he exclaimed staring at himself in the mirror, "I don't like men, especially not Angel." He nodded sharply to his mirrored self, his confidence in his own sexuality firmly restored. Grabbing at pair of pajamas, he hesitated, slowly moving his hand over to a pair of silk pajamas that Anya had given him. He had never worn them, a little uncomfortable at how they felt against his legs, he'd sported a hardon the first time he slid them on to Anya's delight.

Maybe they would help distract him through the coming nightmares when he slept.

And determinedly, he grabbed them. Shucking his clothes, he hastily pulled the silk pants on, shivering slightly at the caressing feel of them as he slide them up his legs.

Yep, he looked down, right on time. Too bad, Xander Jr, no female in sight, he shook his head regretfully at his erect cock. Sighing he walked over and slipped into bed. Opening the nightstand, he gazed at the jar of Vaseline, maybe a quick hand job would relax him, he thought hopefully, then heard the shower turn off. And maybe not, remembering vampires were known for smelling things and it would definitely not be a good idea for Angel to know he had been jerking off in. D. Don't want to give the old boy ideas, Xander shuddered, removing his patch and placing it on the nightstand before flopping down on his pillow. Despite his feeling that he would have a difficult time sleeping, he quickly drifted off into the arms of sleep.

But unfortunately he was quite correct about the nightmares.

Angel lay in the narrow bed, gazing up at the ceiling. What in the world was all that about, he wondered. Xander of all people?! Did I or did I not just have the feeling of wanting to jump Xander Harris' bones? Maybe it was in reaction to feeling angsty about Connor and Cordy, he thought hopefully feeling depressed as he realized that Cordy and Connor were the last things on his mind when he was talking to Xander. The only thing that had truly been on his mind was how fast would he be able to get Xander's pants off.

He snorted, it wasn't like he could have done anything anyhow. He could juse Ane Angelus waving at him mockingly as they switched places in his mind, becoming the caged one instead of the gatekeeper.

"Stupid gypsies," he muttered bitterly as he rolled over in the bed, nearly falling out in the process, "Kill one little girl and POW!" What I don't get is why in the hell am I suffering, Angelus is the bad one, he thought indignantly. I'm the good one, he thought a little smugly.

~"Yeah right," Angelus rolled his eyes.~

~"Oh shut up," Angel looked at him angrily. "You're the reason why we're in this mess in the first place. You sank your fangs into the wrong person," he pointed out.~

~ok,\ok," Angelus yelled, waving his fists, "How the hell was I supposed to know that the girl was some sorta princess? They all look like food to me," he smirked.

~"Well, apparently that 'food' had a bite, didn't it," Angel sneered back.~

~Angelus smirked, "Well you're the one that wanna dip his dick in the boy's ass. But you can do with a lot less guilt, you whining dumb fucker! Ooooh, I stared to long at Cordy's breasts....Guilt, brood, angst. Ooooh, I fired my people....guilt, brood, angst. Oh I sleep with Darla....brood, guilty smile. Ooooh, I tried to kill Wes...well you didn't brood or feel too guilty over that one," he admitted with a laugh, "Maybe you're learning."~

~"Shut the fuck up," Angel snarled, his eyes becoming distracted~

Snapping out of his reverie with Angelus, he sat up listening before springing for the door.

He hesitated briefly at Xander's door, debating whether to go in or not. However, the broken cry from within had him tentatively ghosting into the room. To his shock, he saw the boy's eye closed, jerking rapidly under the thin skin. Nightmare, he realized at another low scream.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he gently tried to wake the boy.

"Xander," he called quietly, shaking the boy's shoulder lightly, his hand moving in an involuntary caress before he controlled himself.

"Xander," he called louder, shaking Xander harder relieved when the boy's eye flew open and stared at him wildly. Groaning when Xander threw himself in his arms with a muffled sob. Patting the shuddering back, he listened in horror at the boy's recitation of his nightmare.

Xander ran desperately away from Caleb, a quick terrified look over his shoulder showed him the man was rapidly gaining on him. Putting on a burst of speed, his breath coming raggedly he ran on, crying out as he felt himself grabbed from behind and twisted to face Caleb's leering face.

"Going somewhere boy," he heard the bastard say. He cried out and then he was frozen as he watched in horror as Caleb's huge hand came closer, the thumb aiming at his eye. Turning his eyes desperately away, he gazed into warm brown eyes that promised strength, safety and above all love. He felt new strength race through him as he surged to his feet, breaking Caleb's hold and began beating the man off of him, away from him. Watching the terror fill Caleb's eyes as he was at last defeated.

Turning around he gazed into the shadows. Feeling no surprise at the sight of Angel stepping out of the darkness.

"I knew you could do it," he heard Angel say quietly and felt shy for no particular reason, other than Angel looking at him with warm approval in his eyes.

"You did," Xander asked, head ducking in bashfulness before he looked up, he could feel himself blushing under Angel's knowing gaze.

"Yeah, not only are you perceptive guy, but a very capable guy too," and at Angel's smile he felt heat rush through him, blinking nervously as Angel stroked his cheek lightly before kissing him gently, his mouth opening for Angel hungrily.

And Angel drew back, gazing warmly into his face, "A very beautiful guy...," his eyes opening wide, his body becoming dust as Caleb stood behind him jerking the stake from his heart.

Xander cried out in horror, first at the sight of Angel turning to dust then at the sight of Caleb standing there.

"And you're a dusty guy," Caleb smirked, then looked at him, his smile widening as he stepped forward.

Xander backed away in horror, distantly he could hear someone call his name and with a cry he turned and ran to the voice knowing he would be safe.

He opened his eye, seeing Angel looking down at him with worry and concern in his dark gaze and he couldn't stop his ard ard lunge of relief to see Angel alive, or unalive in his room.

"And I was running and running then he caught me but I beat him up then you came then he was alive again and he killed you," Xander wailed into Angel chest, his arms wrapped tightly around Angel's waist, feeling Angel's gentle pats on his back.

"It's okay, I'm still here. It was just a nightmare," he heard the soothing sound of Angel's voice rumbling through his chest. Xander rubbed his hot face against Angel's chest, not noticing how the soft stroking hands stilled.

He held on harder as elt elt Angel make a move to leave, "Don't go," he begged softly at the movement. Feeling ashamed of his need not to be alone, he lowered his head.

Angel felt torn, on the one hand he wanted to stay, to be close to the boy but on the other, he wanted to dive into the boy's hot body.

"Please," he heard and all his defenses crumbled under that low softly pleading voice. He sighed, maybe Xander won't hate him too much when the boy woke up.

"Shh," he said as the arms clenched desperately around his middle, "I'm not going anywhere, I just wanted to get in bed with you," his mouth twisteyly yly at that telling phrase.

" K," Xander shuddered, tears threatening to fall from his eye as he scooted over, leaving room for Angel to climb in. He just didn't want to be alone right now, his gaze firmly fixed on the other. And as soon as Angel was under the covers, Xander immediately scooted as close as possible to Angel, shivering as a long arm came out of the darkness and pulled him close.

He could just make out Angel's mutter, "I just hope you don't try to stake me when you got all your senses."

"I have all my senses," Xander sat up and looked down at Angel, "I just don't want to be alone right now." He looked away and drew his knees up to under his chin, "Some nights I just feel like I'm the only person with problems or things wrong. Willow tries to be there for me and she understands but not all the way, ya know," he rocked a little under the hand rubbing soothingly at his back.

"I just want to feel like someone's else's problems are worse than my own, is that a crime," he looked down anxiously at Angel, "Does that make me a bad person?"

"No,\gel gel smiled, "It just makes you human." Tugging gently, he pulled the shivering body back down, feeling a rightness at the sight of the dark head resting against his shoulder.

"You should be flattered," he heard the boy mumble.

"Why is that," he answered stroking the soft dark curls, marveling at sof softness.

"Willow hasn't even seen me without my patch," Xander said quietly, relaxing under the calming hand. He felt like a cat, wanting only to purr in contentment.

"Well, you still look beautiful," Angel nearly cursed himself as the betraying words slipped out, feeling the boy tense against him.

Xanblinblinked, 'Beautiful', slowly he sat up and looked down at Angel again, sensing something in the dark gaze.

"Beautiful," he questioned calmly, despite his racing heart.

"Beautiful," was the husky answer.

"Oh," was all his daze mind could think to say as he lay back down on what was becoming a good resting place, he thought in confusion.

Angel began to speak and Xander listened in horror, shaking in reaction to everything that had happen in L.A. Feeling the incredible tension in the muscular body he was resting against. He could feel the rage, the bitterness, the pain...the overwhelming grief in Angel's quiet dispassionate words.

And slow tears leaked from his eye.

"God, and I thought my life was fucked up," Xander said softly, feeling soft fingertips stroking his back gently.

"It's all relative," Angel managed to choke out under his rage and grief. Emotions roiled inside of him, with no outlet. He felt like he was going to drown under the surging emotions welling up inside.

Xander stroked the cool chest gently, trying to give back what Angel was giving im, im, comfort. Overcome by a welling of emotion, he twisted up and briefly kissed Angel, ducking his head back down wondering what in the hell was wrong with him? Okay, sure I don't dislike Angel anymore, but attracted to him? I so don't think so, but then why did I kiss him?

Angel froze under the brief warm caress, "What was that for," he said hoarsely, his body stirring hungrily under Xander's warm fingers so he reached up and held the fingers gently still.

"Uhm, I don't know," Xander said in a small voice, "I know that you can't do anything, I just...just...wanted to....," he shrugged helplessly.

He squawked as he was suddenly flipped over on his back and froze, looking up into Angel's dark eyes, he licked his lips nervously under that dark look, squeaking softly as the dark head came down and he was drowning under the cool passion of Angel's expert mouth as Angel settled firmly between his legs.

"I think that I have a little too much rage and grief in me to worry about losing my soul," he heard Angel murmur before becoming lost in the hungry arousal Angel was raising in his body as the icy, ravaging tongue plunged into his mouth. And he whimpered in need, in desire at the shocking wave of heat swept over him as Angel's mouth drifted down to his neck, he couldn't do anything but arch into the icy caress.

He moaned into Angel's mouth as he felt a hard hand steal down to stroke his cloth covered cock arching into the caressing movement, feeling his pants slide off his hips. A slight shock rippled through him at the feel of another's hand after it had been only his for so long.

Angel slowly began to stroke the beautiful flesh to life, smiling at the shuddering moan from Xander. He leaned over and took a taut nipple in his mouth, worrying at the tiny morsel of flesh. Feeling Xander's hand steal up into his hair and the boy began moaning and arching his body into his mouth. God, the boy had the tastiest nipples in the world, the taste of Xander was driving him insane!

"Angel, please," Xander moaned softly, shaking under the dual sensation. He couldn't help but to cry out as he looked down and saw Angel feeding, sucking on his nipples, his hand wrapped tightly around his cock, stroking him to full arousal. Shuddering as he felt Angel's finger gently stroke between his legs, grazing his ass with a beguiling touch. He drew back with a shiver, gazing up into Angel's hot golden eyes, closing his eye and arching up with a low keening wail.

"Nightstand drawer," he managed to gasp out.

Angel blinked down and twisting, quickly opened the drawer and pulled out the Vaseline a smile on his face as his looked down on the boy sprawled in the bed, a look of hunger on the mobile face. He swiftly wiggled out of his sweatpants, sighing as he rocked gently against the enticing heat.

Xander moaned softly as he felt Angel slid a finger deep inside and caress his prostrate, sharp pleasure erupting from that spot.

"Yes!" he cried out, shoving his ass down on the invading digit, he pulled Angel's head up and ruthlessly attacked his mouth, hungrily groaning at the taste. He whimpered softly into Angel's mouth as Angel shoved a second finger deep into his ass, wrenching his mouth away with a harsh cry of pleasure, working his hips frantically trying to force them deeper.

Angel watched the wanton movements of the boy and slowly added a third, seeing how the boy froze then relaxed with a soft sigh of pleasure, and began pumping his hips tentatively.

He kissed his way down the smooth chest, keeping his fingers deeply inserted in the tightly grasping hole, he was hungry and he saw just what he wanted to eat. He licked his lips eagerly and dipping his head greedily to Xander's drooling cock, just slowly licking at the head and wiggling his fingers in the clenching sheath, smiling at the hiss of indrawn breath from Xander.

"Xander," he purred, stopping the motion of his fingers in the spasming hole. Idly licking at the weeping cock head.

"Wh..what?" Xander gasped out, why won't he move his goddamn fingers?

"Do you want to come," he whispered licking at the pre-cum forming on Xander's cock.

Xander gave him a google-eyed look, "Are you fuckin' nuts?! Of course, I want to come! Now move your damn fingers!" He tried to buck up into Angel's mouth, but the bastard raised his head and pulled his fingers out.

"Then we do this my way," Angel whispered crawling up to kneel between Xander legs, crouching over him and watching him with a dark hungry gaze.

Xander swallowed hard and froze, why was he so hesitant to allow Angel to fuck him face to face he didn't know, it just made him uncomfortable. Apparently it was okay to his delicate sensibilities to allow Angel to shove his fingers in his ass, he thought in wry amusement, but he didn't want him to fuck him like that.

Angel waited patiently, well at least as patiently as possible considering that he was still going to be deep in Xander's tight ass anyway, he thought dryly.

Xander took a deep breath and reached up, linking his arms around Angel's neck he brought him down for a deep kiss, giving the other his answer as he felt his hips lifted and tilted. He moaned deep into Angel's mouth as he felt himself being slowly filled.

He pulled back and gasped, rocking, shuddering under the long jamming strokes, his head arched back in bliss as he felt Angel's mouth at his neck licking at the flesh. Writhing in ecstasy under the erotic dangerous caress.

Angel rode the wiggling, shimmying body hard, he couldn't get enough of the boy, feeling Xander's hips bucking and squirming under him, his face open, reflecting a dozen different emotion. He pounded harder into the hot caressing sheath, feeling the long legs tighten achingly around his waist. Licking at the sweat glistening on the long limber body, the gasping cries of pleasure and the look of joy in the dark eye....it had been so fuckin' long since he had felt anything so good!

He clenched his teeth as he slid deeper into the sweet tight hole, feeling his balls beginning to draw up he rode the writhing body desperately as he began to come, getting lost in the all consuming pleasure.

And with a low keening cry, Xander finally slid into that dark, decadent place that Angel's icy cock took him. There was othe the radiant, bone-cracking heat of his climax, hot, raw and intense.

At the throaty cry of pleasure from Xander, Angel came with a shout, spewing his cum deeply into Xander's tight spasming ass, with harsh tight jerks of his hips, ramming his cock deeper into the boy. Slowly he pulled out and collapsed bonelessly to the side, listening to Xander's ragged breathing.

"That...," Xander swallowed, trying to breath, "That was intense. Good thing you're still angsting or I think you would have lost your soul," he tried to joke, drawing back in alarm at the demonic face gazing at him on the pillow.

"Yeah," Angel said quietly, relaxing his face at the slightly alarmed look on the boy's face. He regarded the wary look on Xander's face before pulling him into his arms. Holding him tightly against his chest.

"That was the best I've ever felt in my entire life," he said softly feeling the supple body stiffen, he tightened his arms. "But for some reason, my soul didn't go bye bye." He peered down at Xander as the boy twisted in his arms.

"You're not saying that just because you're Angelus, right," Xander said suspiciously, squinting up at him.

"Nope, only me," Angel smiled, dropping a quick kiss on the pouting lips, feeling them part with a groan of hunger.

Moaning deeply, Xander felt himself rolled over and gave himself over to Angel's hungry mouth.

Endless, greedy moments later, with a soft sigh, Xander whispered, "Deadboy, the flesh is willing, the spirit is very willing, but the ass is very sore."

At Angel's muttered, 'That's okay, got something else in mind,' he couldn't stop moving, rocking his body against Angel's cool, hard body eagerly anticipating exactly what Angel had in store for them.