Bound

Chapter 2 . Confessions

Buffy was shocked. She slumped onto his bed and stared at him , open mouthed. At that point Spike could have smacked her upside the head with a mallet and she wouldn't have felt it.Not that it was a good idea , cos well , he would of paid for it later.After five minutes , Spike thought he had sent the Slayer into a catatonic state and waved his hands in front of her face.
"Bloody hell!"
He shook her , flicked water onto her face and even vamped out in front of her, nothing worked.
"Great , after all this time and I go and break the soddin slayer"
He poured another drink and came to the conclusion that he would just carry her home and tuck her up in bed,he could take advantage of her, no-one would need to know.
But that was something the' old Spike' would do, this ' new Spike' had a conscience.
"Fuck"
Her glass slipped from her grasp and bounced on the crypt floor before breaking. Spike bent down and picked up the broken glass . He looked up into her eyes and for a second he thought he saw a flicker of lashes. Her lips were moist and pouted. God he wanted to devour them. He leant in and brushed his lips gently over hers. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, carried away by the vision in his head.

Buffy couldn't believe it. He gotten his soul for her. Why? She didn't ask him to. Was it a curse like Angels ? What had she said to him before he disappeared that made him think that she wanted that? Why? She sat there in shock. The same questions were repeating over and over.
Where was she again? What was she doing? Then a familiar feeling. Spikes lips , lips of Spike. Slowly she responded.

He felt her swallow and press her lips against his to deepen the kiss. The tip of her tongue flicked across his bottom lip and dualled with his tongue. Finally, Spike broke away with a low growl.

"So that's all I had to do , should have made that my first choice , eh Slayer"
Buffy licked her lips and looked at him, a smile graced her face. At least she wasn't smacking him on the nose with her fist.
" You mean that?"
"You lost me ... do I mean what?"
"That you got your soul for me?"
"Wouldn't say it if it wasn't true would I , thought you knew me better than that Buffy"
Again there's that far off look ," Damn!"
Her brow furrowed and she looked at him "What made you think I wanted you to get your soul?"
"You told me 'You don't ... have a soul! There is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside! You can't feel anything real! I could never ... be your girl!'. Remember now?"
"Oh god"
He stood up and let it sink in. His heart ached, it always ached .
"How did you get it , was it a spell like Angel?"
"No it's not a spell . I got mine the hard way, fought for it, weren't a piece of piss either slayer" Spike's voice was strained.
Buffy sat there deep in thought. " I don't know what to say"
"Not much to say , I loved you , you couldn't love me without a soul , I got my soul , now I'm back"
"Loved" Buffy looked at him briefly before looking at her hands , as she pulled at a thread on her top.
Spike looked at her , trying hard not to show to much emotion. He still loved her, that was the problem . Spike wanted to stop. It was futile . He had wanted the chip out of his head , not his soul restored. He felt like that bloody demon had stitched him up a good one.He was plagued by nightmares and had hidden away while he adjusted to his soul and conscience. He was determined to get past it and to rise above the torment. No way was he going to be a simpering idiot like his bloody broody ponce of a sire.Spike watched Buffy pull at the loose thread.
" What do we do now ?"
"You go home . I go to bed and sleep off the booze and see you at the Watchers tomorrow evening. Like to say it was fun pet , but then I'd be lying"
Buffy was taken back by his bluntness and stared at him with a frown.
"Sunrise soon and you need to sleep too, aint Niblet got school in a few hours?"
Typical , he was shutting her out and at the same time thinking of her and Dawn, she thought.
"I'm not going anywhere til we get this sorted out. I don't get why you are acting this way. You were fine up at the house"
Spike took out his cigarettes and lit one up.
"What else is there to say?"
"I did alot of thinking while you were away. I missed you okay. Missed you backing me up and just being there for me"
"I'll patrol with you , I won't stop that but I don't think it's wise for me to be there for you in any other capacity.Maybe after I get over you......" He left the rest, she knew what he was saying.
"Spike"
He looked deep into her eyes. There was a pain there that he hadn't seen before
"I-think-I'm -in-love-with-you" she blurted it out fast and without too much thought "Shit I said that out loud didn't I?" then she realised how that came out and looked at his face.
Spike's expression went from being elated to being crushed in a matter of seconds
"Damn , I meant what I said , I think I am in love with you , I just didn't want to say anything right now , just to confuse you , or to make you think it was to manipulate you. It's something I realised once you left."
Spike couldn't help but smile. His slayer had just confessed her love for him.He had waited for that moment for years.He stubbed his cigarette out and rushed at her. Buffy was scooped up in his strong arms and his lips were against hers in a second.
"If I , we do this Buffy , I want you to tell your bunch of do gooders, no more hiding from them."
"Okay"
That took him back abit. When they were having casual sex before , she had flatly refused to tell the others, simply because it disgusted her, and she knew they would feel the same way.
She was gaining something. Buffy smiled . Spike was opening back up to her. She needed him , in every way. "When?"
"Tomorrow at Giles'. I want to be there, especially when you tell the Whelp. Bet he will pop a vein, well here's hoping"
Buffy actually laughed.
"Come back to the house with me" she whispered in his ears as he continued to kiss her neck and cheeks.
Spike dropped her back onto her feet and grabbed his duster. He was at the door of his crypt , holding it open.
"What ya waiting for slayer?"
She smiled at him and slipped her hand into his and pulled him out across the graveyard, towards her house.
Buffy's slayer sense picked up something ahead of them, she inwardly groaned. Whipping a stake out from under her jacket, Buffy swivelled round and took up her fighting posture.
"Vamp ahead behind the tall tombstone"
Spike lit up a cigarette " Need a hand?"
"No it's just one and by the feel of it , fledgling"
Spike leant up against a mausoleum while she engaged the young vampire

The vampire stood back while it tried to work out who this was stood in front of him. He growled and bared his teeth , trying to intimidate her. It wasn't working.
Buffy looked at her watch "Could we get this over with "
Spike shook his head at her
Another growl and then the vampire ran at her. Buffy stood unflinching. As the fledgling reached for her she bought the stake up to his chest and she didn't change her stance, thrusting the stake forward til it hit ribs. A shower of dust hit her in the face and she coughed and spat.
"That's just nasty"
" I was hoping to watch you dance with him pet, how long is it since you had a decent fight?"
Buffy looked at him, deep in thought
"A few weeks I guess, what are you trying to say?"
"Nothing" Spike shook his head with a slight smirk. "Just miss watching you dance ,S'all"
Buffy found herself warming all over. God he made it sound so sexy.
"Miss it , do you?"
He rolled his eyes at her "Course luv, not built that way now though"
Buffy smiled and then punched him on the nose "Really?"
"Ow ! Bint, what was that for?"
Buffy started to bounce on her feet , circling him , baiting him in for a fight "Are you that dense?"
"You bloody asking for it , unno that Slayer"
"Bite me!"
"Love to"
Spike looked at her and saw the glint in her eye. So many times before now he had seen it. The look of lust and the need for her to expel pent up energy. She was perfect , he thought. Even if it did cost him a few bruises, he would give her exactly what she wanted.Spike spun and threw his leg out to swipe her legs out from under her. Buffy rolled away and stood inches from him. A punch connected with his ribs and with his shoulder.
"If this was a fight to the death Spike, you would be dust by now. You gonna try or am I wasting my breath?"
Spike wiped the blood from his nose and rolled his tongue behind his teeth "Want me to make it hard for you ?"
Buffy's eyes dropped to his groin "Think I did that all by myself"
"Minx"
A roundhouse kick bought him out of his flirtatious mood and back into the fight. As he flew backwards, he spun and landed on his feet. Buffy rushed him and he picked her up and threw her over a headstone. Spike followed her by leaping over it and growling, letting his demon surface.
"C'mon then Slayer , gimme all you got"
A kick under his chin sent him backwards, as she gained her footing and lunged at him he batted her fists away and connected with her shoulders, pulling her into his body as they fell. Spikes back hit the ground and he twisted so that Buffy was under him. Pinning her arms above her head and sitting on her legs, she was trapped.
"Looks like I got the upper hand here pet. Now if I was a big bad I would of had my fill of you by now"
Summoning her Slayer strength ,Buffy shot Spike over her shoulders and got to her feet in an instant and dived at him, switching their positions so that he was now trapped under her.
"And if you were the big bad , you would be dust about now."
Buffy could feel his arousal as she sat astride him. She closed her eyes and ground herself against it, eliciting a growl from him.
"Tease"
She smiled and got up, brushing the grass and dust off herself while he regained his composure.
"It's getting near sunrise, we best get home" She asked
" S'pose so "
"Come on , Dawn will be up soon . Think she should be the first to know about us" Buffy dragged her vampire lover out of the graveyard.

Spike ran through the front door, his back was just starting to smoke as the sun had started to come up over the horizon. Buffy was close behind him and slammed the door shut.
"Is that you Buffy?" A call came from upstairs
"Yeah it's me Dawnie. What are you doing up already?"
"I woke up ages ago and noticed you weren't home, I was worried about you"
She stood at the top of the stairs now and saw Spike was with her "No need to ask what you two have been up to then"
Spike grinned at her as she bounced off the last step to come face to face with him.
"Dawn, it wasn't like that! We patrolled and then sparred"
"Hmmm I bet you did"
Trying to change the subject ,Buffy asked what she would want for breakfast. Spike went to the fridge and retrieved a packet of blood. He poured it into a mug and then heated it through the microwave.
Dawn watched him and asked Buffy for some pancakes.
"We need to talk to you , you best sit down for this " Buffy said as she poured a coffee.
"Is there some new hell beast about to try to end the world?"
"No , nothing like that bit. Best do as sis says though" he took a large gulp of blood and leant against the sink
"Okay, so spill already"
Buffy suddenly found herself speechless and her mouth went as dry as the sahara. She swallowed a large mouthful of coffee and tried again " Spike and I are a couple now"
'There said it' she thought
Dawn squealed and flapped her hands in front of her like a demented chicken " I knew it"
Buffy and Spike looked at each other and smiled
"What did you know and please stop squealing before you cause my eardrums to pop" Buffy stuck her fingers in her ears for protection against the obnoxious noise
"I knew there was something going on between you two before he went walkabout , I just didn't know what, but I knew. I so should have known"
Spike raised his eyebrows then frowned.
"So your happy about me and your Sis then?"
More squealing.
"Remind me to not ask again" he continued with an affectionate smile and a wink
Finally Dawn shut up and just sat with a huge smile while she ate her pancakes
Buffy stood beside Spike " We still have to tell the rest of the gang but we wanted you to be the first "
"So I should be !" Dawn said with her mouth full. " I so got to get ready now. Will Spike be here when I get home from school?"
"Yes" Buffy looked up at him " He's moving in, well if he wants to that is"
"That's so cool!" Dawn ran upstairs leaving the two of them in the kitchen.
"Well , would you want to?" Buffy asked him in a soft tone
"Of course , I can't think of anything I would like more. You might want to wait and see what the rest of your scoobies think first"
"I have made my mind up about it now and I think I have put them first , and done everything to keep them happy in the past and now it's time to do what makes me happy" She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest."I don't think I'm being selfish about that, do you?"
"Of course not luv, just worried about you and what their reactions going to be"
"I'll hide the weapons and the stakes" she winked at him and kissed his chest.
"Might be an idea, your watchers never been to keen on me , and as for the whelp, best hope the suns not up and the doors are locked too"
"I'm sure it will be fine . It's not like I'm a naive sixteen year old and you have a happiness clause attached like Angel"
Spike felt his muscles tense at the mention of his nemesis even if it was . That was one person he hoped wouldn't hear of his newfound closeness to Buffy. Angel still held Buffy in his heart and he knew that he would have a fight on his hands once he found out. He had had enough of sharing women with the poof. Spike didn't notice Buffy's frown and her talking to him.
"Hello , earth calling vamp?" she waved her hand in front of his face
"Sorry luv, just thinking"
"Care to let me in on them?"
"Not right now, need to get some rest once the bits gone to school. Don't want you worrying, we got enough to deal with later"
"If that was supposed to put my mind at ease, not working"
Spike kissed her on her forehead and walked towards the foot of the stairs" Gonna go and get some rest now pet, been a long night"
"I'll be up once Dawns left for school"
"Soon then"

Dawn came out of her room as Spike opened the door to Buffy's bedroom.
"Your sleeping in there with Buffy?"
"Well I haven't really discussed it with her , but I was thinking of it yeah, problem Niblet?"
"No , no ..... keep the noises down though . Impressionable teen here with very delicate hearing"
She left him stood there shocked as she bounded out of the house calling her goodbye's
"She's happy about us then" Buffy said as she came up behind him
" Which is good right?" he asked
" It's great, someone in our camp , and she's feisty, god help anyone who gives us any problems"
They both laughed as they went into the bedroom.
Spike stood just inside the bedroom with his head hung almost against his chest. He watched her as she walked around the room and undressing.
"Don't you think we should talk Buffy?"
"I guess" she pulled her tank top over her head and pulled her hair out from under it, she made her way over to the bed and drew back the covers. "Hope your not going to just stand there , kinda makes me nervous" she patted the bed
Spike snorted at the thought that she would be nervous, of him especially. Hadn't he proved that he could be trusted. He had taken care of Niblet whilst she was..... unavailable?Buffy saw the look on his face and instinctively knew what he was thinking
"I trust you and I'm not nervous of you, just a figure of speech , now get over here and get in bed"
Spike didn't need telling twice. His clothes fell off him in a flash and he leapt onto the bed with a wicked grin on his face.

The two lovers were asleep in no time. Their legs wound around each other, their hands held together over her heart and their foreheads touched, a smile graced both their faces.A low purr was heard coming from the vampire as he slept . It was a picture of intimacy neither had touched upon before. They were still like that when Dawn came home from school and had burst in looking for them.


Spike opened one eye and saw Dawn slowly trying to back out of the room quietly
"Bit.. what time is it?"
"After five, thought you guys would be up by now"she gracefully left .
Spike stretched and yawned "Buffy ... time to wake up pet" he nudged her "Dawns home from school already and we got that meeting "
Buffy proceeded to pull the covers over her head and groan and caused Spike to laugh.
"If you don't get that gorgeous ass outta this bed I won't be responsible for my actions pet"
The covers drew back and Buffy shot out of bed. "I'm starved , lets eat before we go face the firing squad, and I need a gallon of coffee"
Spike ruffled his hair and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
He wasn't looking forward to the meeting , well the looks on their faces would be priceless , but he knew the aftermath wouldn't be easy on Buffy. He knew that Rupert would be against the relationship and as for Xander? Spike knew he would go overboard on the 'not another vampire lover from hell, didn't you learn anything from the disaster that was Angel' lecture.He wasn't too sure what Willow would say, she always seemed to like him, but that didn't mean she would accept Buffy's new found love for him. Tara was the only one he was sure of. She was supportive towards them before. Anya spoke her mind and he had a feeling she knew already anyway. If she hadn't said anything by now , she probably wouldn't and would more than likely be okay with it.The time to confront them was here .No more hiding.
After eating and one too many coffee's that caused Buffy to be jittery, Spike held her hand and walked the short distance to the Magic shop. As if they were in tune with one another, they both paused outside the shop and took deep breaths. Dawn barged past them and almost ran in through the door, so much for them taking a last few seconds for composure!

"Hey guys" Buffy walked in, still holding his hand.
Spike had expected Buffy to let go and shrug her hand away from his. The gesture warmed him more than she would or could know, putting faith in what she had declared to him the night before.It didn't go unnoticed.
The glare from Xander was the first thing they both registered. Giles cleared his throat as if it would snap his slayer back to her senses and the others just carried on as if it was perfectly natural. All in all not too bad so far.
Buffy took the lead and went and stood near the research table. Spike sat down and pulled Buffy to him so she perched on his lap with his arms around her waist.
Yet more throat clearing and a huff from the whelp.
"Do you need a glass of water for that Watcher?" He couldn't resist it
"No , I'm quite fine thankyou Spike" It was laced with an undertone of venom.
Spike just smiled.
Xander had taken to pacing
This was delicious.
Willow looked up at Buffy and then to the two men that were making their feelings all to obvious. "How was your patrol last Buff, did you get any action?"
As soon as Willow had said it she cringed and watched everyone's faces before blushing.
A low laugh was heard coming from Anya , Spike and Buffy.Giles shook his head.
"Oh god... look everyone...... "Buffy started and fell short, not like they were making it easy for her.
Spike squeezed her hand and patted her ass, signalling for her to get up. He kissed her hands and took the floor.
"What the Slayer, Buffy's, trying to say is that, for a while now we have been having a relationship of sorts. Last night she, we, said how we really felt about each other and well, we love each otherand want to be together. We are telling you out of , well I don't rightly know why, but it won't make sod all of a difference to us if you lot don't like it or accept it. "
God he needed a cigarette. Even as a human he had never felt so vulnerable and nervous.Buffy had been staring at the table the whole time he had taken to announce their news and was now smiling up at him with pride.That's all he needed to make putting his neck on the proverbial chopping block worth while. That and the fact that the whelp and her Watcher both looked like they were having an anurism. It truly was bloody priceless.
"May I remind you that the 'man' you claim to love, is in fact a cold hearted, souless, evil vampire Buffy" Giles cleaned his glasses with his handkerchief whist he awaited an aswer
"Half right" came the reply , causing everyone to look at them. "Spike is a vampire, like duh! He hasn't been eveil for a while now and he has shown me more love and compassion than any of you recently, especially since my return from heaven."
"That may be the case but I'm sure he has his own selfish reasons behind it Buffy" Xander chipped in
"What rot!" Spike couldn't help himself
"He has a soul" Buffy half whispered
The pacing and glass cleaning stopped and everyone paused. It was as if someone had freeze framed them.
"Bloody priceless" That earned Spike a dig in the ribs and a shy smile and then a frown.
"Like Angel?" Xander asked
"I'm nothing like the fucking poof !"
Giles took over the conversation, Spike had reached out and had grabbed at his attention.
"How did you get your soul and how can we be sure you do in fact have one?" Giles replaced his glasses and was watching Spike intently
"Did some demon trials in Africa and the git gave me my soul back. As for whether or not I have one , you'll just have to take my word for it, they don't tend to come with receipts or what not""
"Interesting. I wonder why it is that you do not seem to be suffering the same torment that Angel seems to"
"Maybe cos he's a hunk of simpering self flagilator that gets off on the pity train"
"Yes , yes very good" Giles was wondering around looking at books and research material regarding ensouled vampires, and not paying any notice of Spikes answers. For all Giles knew , he could of said that it was because Angel was a giant lizard beast from another galaxy.Well now you come to mention it Spike thought.
"Can we order pizza or something , I get the feeling we're in for a long night" Buffy scooted out of her chair and looked for the menu.
She was now stood with Anya. Spike was being given the long list of questions from Giles and the rest of them were giggling and gossiping
Resigned to the fact that Giles wasn't going to be happy until he had dissected his trials and the process of gaining his soul and his learning to cope with it, Spike pulled up a chair and sat on it, leaning his arms against the back of it. He cast a look over at Buffy and smiled and winked at her. She noticed a slight edge of frustration in his eyes . She felt for him as she knew how anal Giles could be about things he either didn't know about or had little research material on. Souls and vampires being one of those things. After all , wasn't Angel the only vampire cursed with his soul?Not that Spike thought of it as a curse and no Romany Gypsies had anything to do with it. No, Spike had gone and fought for his soul for her.
"Does Angel know that you now have a soul?"
Oh yeah that's what he was waiting for. He needed him to know about it so that the wanker could go schoolyard on him and prance about all noble like giving him advice and the such." Not bloody likely!"
"I would have thought he would be an inspiration to you and would be able to advise you on how best to cope" Giles seemed very enthusiastic.
Of course he would be, anything to remove him from the Slayer.
Spike almost fell off his chair laughing. " That bastard plays up for the sympathy , his soul is no more troubling for him than mine is to me! And as for inspiration ? Not him, I didn't do it because he had one , I did it for her!"
That little bit of information opened up the floodgates for more questions. When would he learn to keep his trap shut? With a loud sigh he sat back and waited for the next onslaught from the old git.Buffy had finished her pizza and was now getting restless. She looked at him and frowned, pointing at the training room and making a hasty retreat there.Great now she had left the room he was sure the groups real feelings would vocalise themselves. Just fucking great! He couldn't think of anything he would rather do right now than partake in a round of Bash the Spike and listen to their verbal diarrhoea. If he didn't love her so much he'd be begging for a stake to the heart right about now.
Willow must have picked up on his mood , she stood up and touched him with a crystal and he watched as it glowed a bright pink.
"Um ... Red? Care to explain why the bleedin' hell your poking me with girly crystals?"
"Oh it tells me if you have your soul. Nothing personal but at least it will put our minds at rest"
"And Buffy telling you wasn't enough? I get why you perhaps don't trust me... vampire an all that but her?"
'Why the hell did I come back here again?' he thought to himself
What did he expect? Warm and fuzzy feelings? To be welcomed as a valued part of her team?
Obviously not but he'd work on it. For her.
"So, I take it the crystal affirmed the presence of my soul so now what?"
"Why did you go through the trials and gain it for Buffy?" Giles looked at him with a renewed curiosity
"Cos I love her, where have you been for the last two years?"
Of course, he didn't notice their relationship and his love for her before. None of them had really been close to her since she had died and they had dragged her out of heaven. Not that he wasn't glad or grateful, but one would have thought that after that trauma, they would have been there for her and not wrapped up in their own pathetic lives.
Xander of all people shouldn't stand in a glass house and toss around stones haphazardly. Willow had been to the dark side and could probably understand him more than the others yet she still stood in judgement , Buffy hadn't at the time of her rehab, neither had the poncy Watcher. Just goes to show how being human means forgiveness and understanding was expected and given no matter what. Seemed to him the only person that didn't apply to was Buffy. And they couldn't understand why he loved her and had been there for her, even gone and gotten a bloody soul for her. "Idiots!"
Again with the frowning at him."What?"
Dawn stood up and walked over to him. "Just tell them why and how and then we can go home Spike, I'm bored"
"Okay bit.... I had to endure three trials, one of fire , one of nasty little bugs that crawled under my flesh and then fight a demon, I won, got my soul returned and all for the love of the Slayer , there , story told.Night kiddies" Spike stood up and made his way to the training room, winking at Dawn as he past her. God he needed a fag!
Everyone sat open mouthed.
That shut them up.Thank god.