Buffy the vampire show

Disclaimer : I don’t own BTVS. But hey, wouldn’t that be SO cool?

O-O-O-O

Chapter name – New chain of command.

O-O-O-O

Scene – The vampire’s warehouse.

Angelus threw a vase against the wall and roared in anger.

Angelus – “What is wrong with that girl?! I turned her! I made her mine! I even fed her! Then she hit me with a baseball bat and handed me to the enemy on a silver platter.”

Spike, conversationally - “Maybe this is why vampires don’t turn Slayers. I always knew there was a good reason.”

Angelus, still angry but a little quieter - “But it’s not supposed to work like this. I turned her and that should make her mine! Why didn’t it?!”

O-O-O-O

Scene – The school library.

Xander, holding an icepack to his head - “I keep going back to the Slayer thing. Could it be that somehow being a Slayer means she kept her soul?”

They looked over to where Buffy was draining another blood pack and humming a little tune. By the pile of empties on the table next to her, she had gone through quite a few already.

Cordelia, skeptically - “I don’t know. She isn’t acting very Buffy-ish.”

Willow – “Or maybe she’s a vampire now but she’s still a vampire slayer. That would explain why she helped slay those vampires.”

O-O-O-O

Angel growled and shook his head.

Angel – “That makes no sense whatsoever.”

Spike – “Then let me ask you this. What is a Slayer?”

Angel, rolling his eyes - “In every generation, there’s a chosen girl. She alone can fight the demons and vampires and neat stuff like that. What about it?”

Spike – “Think about it. What if Buffy was never chosen? What would she be doing now? I’ll tell you what she wouldn’t be doing. She wouldn’t be haunting the cemeteries and hunting vampires, that’s what.”

Angel - “That’s a given. What are you getting at?”

Spike – “Imagine if you would, being the Slayer not only gives a bird strength and all that flexibility but it gives them the instinct to slay vampires. It’s what brings them off. They’ll complain about it and say they don’t want to do it but deep down, they need to get that kill. They’re really just like us.”

O-O-O-O

Cordelia, to Giles – “So you’re saying she’s a vampire but she’s not?”

Giles shook his head – “I’m saying that she may have the instincts of both a vampire and the Slayer. Vampires are predatory demons while from what I know about the Slayer’s spirit, it takes more of a guardian role. It’s quite possible that she’s even less human than the average vampire. It’s just the forces within her may be canceling each other out.”

Xander – “So what do we do with her?”

O-O-O-O

Spike – “How about sticking some wood where the sun doesn’t shine? That’s what I would do.”

Angel - “I tried! And I got tackled by a librarian for my efforts. That’s what I can’t stand. I turned her and yet, they’re still on her side. She’s supposed to killing them into little itty bitty pieces and they’re supposed to kill her back.”

Spike, chuckling - “They’re helping her? That’s just bonkers.”

O-O-O-O

Xander, nodding in agreement - “Yup. We’re nuts.”

Buffy had finally finished drinking and was licking blood off her fingers. After she had cleaned her fingers, her game face disappeared and it was replaced by a satisfied look of someone comfortably full.

Buffy - “Mmmmm. That really hit the spot.”

Giles - “You certainty drank enough.”

Buffy - “I was really hungry. I mean REALLY hungry. I couldn’t even think straight. My head was all oxygen deprived. Thanks Will, Oz, I really needed that.”

Willow, uncomfortably - “That’s okay.”

Buffy - “Oh!”

Cordelia - “What?”

Buffy - “The judge! He’s complete! We never told you.”

Giles – “We guessed as much. But we still haven’t found anything that would help us defeat him.”

Xander, standing up with excitement - “Oh!”

Xander, now wincing from his head wound - “Ow!”

Jenny - “Before, you said you had a plan?”

Xander, now smiling - “Yeah. But we’ll need a van or something. Oz, could we use yours? And Cordy, we need you to dress like you’re going to star in a porno.”

Cordelia blinked at him.

Cordelia, now glaring at him - “Why?”

Xander - “If I tell you, you won’t do it. Besides, it will be good practice for later on in life, won’t it?”

Cordelia - “This isn’t some twisted end of the world celebration party you’re planning, is it? Because I wouldn’t put it past you.”

Xander - “No. It’s not. Tomorrow, we save the world.”

Buffy - “And get to see Cordelia in something trashy.”

Xander, nodding - “That’s right. Willow, Oz, Cordelia, meet here at eight tomorrow. Oz, can you bring your van?”

Buffy - “Can I help?”

Xander hesitated.

Xander - “We don’t really need you for this. Using a .. Slayer, yeah, using a slayer for this would be overkill.”

Buffy dipped her head down but didn’t say anything.

While the children talked, Jenny and Giles had moved to the other side of the room and talked amongst themselves.

Giles – “I’m not sure what we should do about Buffy.”

Jenny – “Assuming they don’t attack again, I say we let her be for now. She doesn’t seem too dangerous. Or at least she doesn’t want to hurt us.”

Giles – “I agree. She might not quite be our Buffy but she could be useful.”

Buffy, yelling from across the room - “I can hear you!”

Everyone looked at her and she pointed at her ears.

Buffy, sullen - “Vampire ears. Not as pleasant as the brochure says they are.”

Willow - “Are you going to be okay?”

Buffy - “What do you think? My boyfriend just turned evil and killed me. You don’t just kill people and.. oh.”

Xander - “And oh? What and oh?”

Buffy, with dread - “I just killed people.”

Willow, scooting along the table away from Buffy - “You killed people?”

Buffy, frantically - “It’s not what you think. I was just risen and I didn’t know what I was doing. I was so confused and they were so warm and, oh, they were so tasty… mmm.”

Buffy started to daydream about exactly how nice they tasted when she spotted the other’s look of shock.

Buffy - “But no more! I won’t do it anymore. I promise.”

Willow, gulping - “Okay.”

Buffy – “No. I’m serious. I don’t-I don’t want to walk down that path and oh my god! How am I going to explain this to Mom? I can’t just tell her that I’m a vampire. She’ll think I’m crazy. And what about school? It’s on during the day.”

Giles, calming - “Buffy, don’t worry. We will figure something out.”

Buffy - “You’ll figure something out?! Like what? Because I doubt sunscreen will fix this… uh, will it?”

Giles shook his head.

Giles - “No but it’s important that you keep your head.”

Buffy, nodding dutifully - “You’re right. Decapitation would be very bad. It would dust me. Ugh. There won’t even be anything to bury if I die. This just keeps getting worse.”

Giles – “This is obviously a very trying transition for you-“

Buffy, angry - “A transition!? That’s what we’re calling it now? I don’t think you get it, Giles. I’m dead. I don’t have a pulse. I’m not even human anymore. As far as all of you’re all concerned, I’m not even Buffy anymore.”

Cordelia – “That’s not true. You’re sort of, uh, like her.”

Buffy blubbered a little and she broke out into tears. With a wail she ran out of the room.

Giles moved to walk after her but Willow stopped him.

Willow – “You’ve said enough.”

Outside of the library, Willow found Buffy crying against a line of lockers.

Willow, softly - “Buffy.”

Buffy - “What?”

Willow placed her hand on the back of Buffy’s shoulders then pulled Buffy into a hug.

Buffy kept crying for a while then suddenly stopped and started hugging Willow back, purring as she did.

Willow pulled away in shock.

Willow - “Buffy?!”

Buffy, blinking in surprise - “I’m sorry. You were just so warm and comfortable. Can we do that again? It was really nice.”

Willow – “Y-You touched me. D-Down there.”

Buffy – “No, I didn’t. Did I?”

Willow nodded emphatically.

Buffy – “I don’t remember doing that.”

Willow – “But you did. You touched my behind.”

Buffy – “Oh. Because when you said down there I thought you meant… I touched your ass? Okay, that’s just weird. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even do that.”

Willow – “Yeah, you did.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and moved in and hugged Willow again.

Buffy – “See. No hands.”

Willow gasped - “Hands!”

The two broke away instantly and Buffy stared at her hands.

Buffy – “Oh my god. That.. I can’t even hug people now?”

Willow – “I’m sure boys wouldn’t mind you hugging them.”

Buffy – “Willow. You’re not helping. What if I did that to Giles? Or Xander or my MOM!?”

Willow – “I still don’t see why you did it to me.”

Buffy – “I don’t know either. I just couldn’t help myself. You, you’re so ..”

Buffy turned away in shame.

Willow, frowning, – “I’m so what?”

Buffy - “You’re so full of blood, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Willow – “No.”

Buffy – “Then we have something in common.”

Willow – “I won’t lie. I’m not even sure you’re Buffy anymore. But I knew Buffy and if you’re anything like her then you can beat this. It will just take some adaptation.”

Buffy – “I don’t think I can. You don’t know what it’s like.”

Willow – “Then tell me.”

Buffy – “I know how to explain it. You know what it’s like to feel connected to a higher power?”

Willow shook her head.

Buffy – “That’s because you’ve always been connected to it, you don’t know any different. I don’t know what it is. I guess you could call it life or God or the jedi force or something. But you never realize you had this connection until you lose it. That’s how I feel. Will, I’m feel empty. I feel like I’ve lost my batteries.”

Buffy started crying again and Willow hugged her.

Willow – “Uh, Buffy, could you keep your hands a little higher this time?”

Buffy, moving her hands back up – “Okay. Sorry.”

Willow – “Don’t worry about it.”

Buffy started purring again and nuzzled into Willows neck.

Suddenly Buffy broke free when her game face turned on.

Buffy – “Okay. No more hugs for now.”

Willow blinked - “You’re still hungry?”

Buffy, hesitating before answering - “Uh, yeah. That’s it. I’m still hungry.”

Willow - “Then we should, uh, you should drink some more blood packs.”

Buffy – “I should save some for later. I don’t know where Angel got them from.”

Willow, nodding - “You’re right. We’ll check it out during the day. Maybe he gets them from Willy’s bar. So are you okay to come back into the meeting?”

Buffy, touching her forehead - “Um. I guess. It’s not like everyone hasn’t seen this already. Umm, how ugly is it?”

Willow studied Buffy’s game face. It looked a little more gnarled than the usual vampire’s.

Willow, diplomatically - “It’s not that bad.”

Buffy - “Really?”

Willow, nodding - “Yeah. It looks just like that time we were in nightmare land. I never told you this but Xander said it was hot.”

Buffy, with a silly smile - “Really?”

Willow - “Yeah. So it can’t be that bad, can it?”

Buffy, following Willow back to the library - “I guess not.”

Giles, addressing the others inside the library - “Her vampire side and her slayer side are at war with her personality so I believe it would best that we keep her grounded in her human life as much as possible.”

Buffy, with her face back to normal - “I’d like that.”

Giles jerked in shock, not expecting Buffy to hear that.

Giles - “Uh, Buffy. I was just, uh, even as the Slayer, you refused to lose your social life. I thought it would be important for you to keep it even now. Especially now.”

Buffy - “I realize what you’re trying to do. Don’t worry. I understand. In fact, I even agree. I .. I need my friends. Still, what am I going to do with my Mom?”

Giles - “For tonight, you won’t have to worry. As far as she knows, you’re staying over at Willow’s. You could even use the same excuse tomorrow. Tell her that you’re working on a school project together.”

Buffy – “That’s great but it’s not like I could move into Willow’s forever. It might look a little strange.”

Xander – “You could say you’re, uh, experimenting with lesbianism.”

Willow gasped.

Willow – “Xander! You realize that we’re trying to keep her OUT of trouble, don’t you? Besides, Buffy would never, umm..”

Buffy, uncomfortably, – “Yeah. I wouldn’t. That wouldn’t be very me.”

Giles – “I’m sure we will all think a lot clearer in the morning. Willow, you take Buffy home and have her stay there tomorrow, during school.”

Willow – “You want her to stay in my .. Uh, okay.”

Buffy – “Relax. I’ll behave. I’m not totally ravenous.”

Cordelia, under her breath - “Not yet anyway.”

Buffy, growled - “You know I can hear that.”

Cordelia, smiling openly - “I know.”

Jenny, eager to leave - “I guess that’s it then. See you all tomorrow.”

Xander, now leaving too - “Yeah. Bye guys. And Buffy, try not to bite anyone else.”

O-O-O-O

Scene – Enyo’s hotel room.

Jenny - “Uncle. Something terrible has happened. Angelus has broken the curse and he turned the Slayer. You told me to keep them separated but you never told me this would happen if I didn’t.”

Enyo – “And you failed.”

Jenny – “Damnit. Don’t you get it? Angelus is back and he turned the Slayer. Her friends still believe she’s on their side and not even I can tell if she isn’t. She even wants Angelus back to normal.”

Enyo – “She’s a vampire. They are fickle creatures. She will have to be disposed of before her affections change.”

Jenny – “And how would I do that? I’m not a vampire hunter and she-she’s amazing. We’ve got to do something about her and we definitely have to do something about Angelus. He almost killed Giles today.”

Enyo, disappointed - “The librarian? You have grown attached to him?”

Jenny, a little shaken - “No. Of course not. But Uncle, people are going to die because of this. People already have died.”

Enyo – “Angelus was not cursed for no good reason, Janna.”

Jenny - “And what about the soul Angelus was cursed with? What did he do to deserve this?”

Enyo – “It is not justice we serve but vengeance.”

Jenny – “No. It’s insanity you serve. You’re a fool. We’re all fools.”

With that outburst, Jenny took her coat and left.

O-O-O-O

Scene – bathroom in Willow’s house.

Buffy and Willow were laying down cushions on the floor. The small window had two thick towels hanging over it to stop any sunlight creeping in during the day.

Buffy - “How could he say that? I mean, say it like that? Like it was a joke?”

Willow frowned - “Uh, who are we talking about?”

Buffy - “Xander! He said try not to bite anyone else. Like it was a joke or a threat or I wanted to or something.”

Willow - “But I thought you did want to. I mean, I thought you kind of, you know, liked that now.”

Buffy – “I do but I don’t want to. You understand, don’t you?”

Willow, nodded - “I think I do. Buffy, just.. just try to get some sleep. Um, are you sure you want to sleep in the bathroom? The floor will be kinda cold.”

Buffy, sadly - “I chose this room because it only has one small window for sunlight to get in. It doesn’t really matter where I sleep. I don’t have body heat remember? Doesn’t matter if I’m in a bed or sleeping on a slab of rock. It’s just as warm.”

Willow – “But the slab of rock would be uncomfortable.”

Buffy, grinning - “And that’s why I have pillows. Plus, I can hog the bath in the morning.”

Willow – “It’s good that you’re joking.”

Buffy, deadpanned - “Who’s joking?”

Willow, closing the door behind her - “Um, well, um, sleep well.”

Buffy frowned as Willow leaned a chair against the other side of the door and placed a few items on it so that if Buffy opened the door, the items would fall off and make some noise and hopefully wake Willow up.

It seemed Willow wasn’t as trusting as Buffy believed.

With a sigh, Buffy turned on the hot tap to the bath.

As the bath filled up, Buffy looked gloomily at the claddagh ring which she still wore on her finger for a few moments. Then she stepped fully clothed in the bath, ignoring the scolding hot water.

Gently, she laid herself down and the water turned red with the blood stains from her clothes. Almost looking dead, she laid in the bath as the water level rose, submerging her.

And she dreamt.

O-O-O-O

Scene – Willow’s bedroom, hours later.

The sun had risen and Willow’s electronic alarm clock went off.

Willow groaned and fumbled with it, finally finding the kill switch and silencing it.

She got out of bed in her pajamas and removed the chair that was braced against the door handle. Then she walked out into the hall and found that the chair she had leant against the bathroom door was still there. It still had the bag of marbles which Willow had placed on it, which meant that Buffy probably hadn’t tried to open the door. Willow removed the chair from the door and placed the bag of marbles on a nearby hallway cabinet. Then she knocked on the bathroom door.

Willow - “Buffy? Uh, do you want some coffee?”

Willow waited for a response but didn’t get any.

Willow - “Buffy? Are you okay?”

Willow waited some more but got nothing.

Pulling a small wooden cross from a pajama pocket, she carefully opened the door.

Nothing jumped out at her. In fact, Buffy wasn’t even in the room.

Willow gasped and realized that the towels had been taken down from the window and it was wide open. She looked around the room and didn’t notice any piles of ash.

O-O-O-O

Scene – School Library.

Giles was alone in the library, drinking some coffee and frowning at a page in a book.

Jenny came in and he offered her a tired smile. She offered one back.

Jenny – “Anything new?”

Giles, closing the book - “No. Everything I read about the Judge tells me to run for the hills and everything I read about vampires tells me to stake Buffy where she stands. Not the most constructive advice.”

The phone rang and Giles turned to pick it up.

Giles, into the phone – “Oh, hello Willow – Uh, what? – Buffy escaped? Yes, I concur. That’s doesn’t sound good at all. I’ll, uh, hold on please.”

Giles, calling out with his hand over the receiver -“Jenny?”

Giles frowned and looked around with a little worry, finding Jenny missing.

Giles, back into the receiver – “This is what you should do. Come to school. Your parents are away for the week, aren’t they? Then that gives us a week to handle Buffy or at least find some way of barring her entrance to your home. Uh, if you would excuse me, there’s something that needs my attention here. – Yes, see you soon.”

Giles put down the phone and looked around the room. Jenny was there just a few seconds ago and then she vanished.

Giles – “How curious.”

O-O-O-O

Scene – Janitors closet, down the hall and around the corner.

Buffy dragged the overpowered Jenny into the small room and pinned her against the wall by her throat.

When Buffy turned to close the door behind her, Jenny pulled out a cross and shoved it in Buffy’s face.

Buffy let out a yelp, grabbed Jenny’s wrist and twisted. The cross fell from her limp hand and Buffy kicked it aside.

With her game face now on, Buffy growled.

Buffy – “Now you’re going to tell me everything. Who are you? Who are you really?”

Jenny took in some needed air when Buffy released her throat.

Jenny looked at the door and Buffy shook her head.

Buffy – “I’ll break your neck before you even get to scream. Tell me who you are. What did you do to Angel?”

Jenny, shaking her head - “It wasn’t me. You’ve got to believe me.”

Buffy – “How am I supposed to trust you? You’re hiding something from me.”

Jenny sighed - “I didn’t do anything to Angel. I was sent her to stop Angelus resurfacing. My real name is Janna Kalderash.”

Buffy – “You’re a gypsy. From the same family who cursed him to begin with?”

Jenny nodded - “That’s right.”

Buffy - “So what happened?”

Jenny – “You happened. The curse was put in place to make Angelus suffer. The funny thing about vampires is that they can learn to enjoy almost anything, especially pain. To counter this, my clan brought back part of Angel’s human life, the part that can suffer eternally. Simply put his soul. But, as I just found out yesterday, if Angel’s soul finds true happiness, if even for a moment then it’s freed and the curse dissolves.”

Buffy let go of Jenny and slumped against the wall.

Buffy - “And what about me? What am I paying for?”

Jenny – “I am sorry. You believe me, don’t you?”

Buffy, glaring at the gypsy - “Curse him again.”

Jenny – “I can’t do that. I couldn’t. Those magics were lost long ago, even to my people.”

Buffy – “Your people did it once. It’s time to do it again.”

Jenny – “I’d like to but I can’t help you.”

Buffy – “Then take me to someone who can.”

Suddenly, the door opened and Giles was on the other side, holding a crossbow and bearing a cross.

Jenny and Buffy both froze.

Jenny – “Giles, you can put that down.”

Buffy – “Both of them please. Crosses are.. aggravating.”

Giles put both weapons down and frowned.

Giles – “Is there any particular reason why you two are conspiring in the janitor’s closet?”

Buffy, to Jenny - “You should tell him. If you don’t, I will.”

Jenny groaned - “Fine. I will. Later. There’s someone you’ll want to talk to first. Someone about the curse.”

Giles frowned deeper.

Giles – “I say, what is going on here?”

Jenny, to Giles – “It’s a little complicated. Um, would you be a dear and cover my computer class in second period?”

Giles blinked.

Giles – “But I don’t know anything about computer studies.”

Jenny – “That’s okay. Willow’s in that class. She can handle the actual teaching side.”

Buffy – “So, this person, I take it I’ll have to go through more sunlight to get to him?”

Jenny, frowning - “Um, I guess so. Talking of which, how did you get here? Through the sewers?”

Buffy, shaking her head in the negative - “I wrapped myself in wet towels and kept to the shadows.”

Jenny – “Smart.”

Buffy, smiling - “That’s what I thought until the towels burst into flames. Oh and sorry about the wrist. It’s not broken, is it?”

Jenny gingerly rubbed her wrist as the two girls left the small enclosed space and wandered off down the hall, leaving Giles very confused in their wake.

Jenny – “No. It’s not broken, just sore. Let’s use my car. You should be safe in the boot.”

Buffy sighed - “Ah, the boot. It was only a matter of time.”

O-O-O-O

Angel had his hands steepled together as he sat, deep in thought.

Spike was reading the newspaper, not as troubled as his sire.

Angel – “But how would Xander formulate a plan to kill the judge?”

Spike, sighing and putting the paper down – “You’re not still on that, are you?”

Angel – “You should be worried about this too. He seemed very confident about it which is out of character.”

Spike – “You’d know.”

Angel – “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Spike – “Nothing. I just said that you would know. Because you would know, wouldn’t you? They weren’t exactly my friends, were they?”

Angel – “Hey, Xander was never my friend.”

Spike – “If you say so.”

Angel – “But it’s true. I hate the prick. Both versions of me do.”

Spike – “Alright then.”

Angel – “And what is THAT supposed to mean?”

Spike, sighed again - “Geez, I’ve forgotten how bloody touchy you are. I wasn’t implying anything.”

Angel – “… Good.”

With that, Spike ruffled his papers back up and kept reading.

Angel – “But what could it be?”

Spike – “How the bloody hell should I know? Hey! Big and blue! What took you out last time?”

Judge, sullenly - “An army.”

Spike – “See. And I doubt there’s still a bunch of sword swinging boy scouts around to cut up the judge this time.”

O-O-O-O

Scene – library.

Giles and Willow got to the library first after the bell. They found Jenny and Buffy there, both of them looking the worse for wear. They both had their reasons.

Jenny’s make up was running while Buffy wore a blank, empty expression.

Willow put her hands on her hips, trying to sound angry at Buffy.

Willow – “You just left during the night. I was worried sick.”

Buffy, dull - “Yeah, worried sick that I had gone out and killed someone.”

Willow tried to look shocked but Buffy was too accurate.

Buffy - “Don’t worry. I didn’t kill anyone. Angelus did though. We’re going to have to kill him.”

Giles - “Don’t give up hope, Buffy. If we can find the remnants of the gypsy tribe who cursed him originally, we could recover the original curse.”

Jenny, sighed - “You’re looking at them. A few hours ago, you could have included my uncle but Angelus just killed him.”

Giles and Willow were both a little shocked.

Giles – “Excuse me. You’re from the Kalderash clan? Isn’t that a little coincidental?”

Jenny – “I was sent to Sunnydale to keep track of Angel for my clan. To keep him suffering. You see, if his soul ever stops suffering, if he ever knows true happiness, then he loses his soul.”

Buffy, angrily - “And I still think someone should have told me this.”

Jenny – “Don’t look at me like that. I wasn’t even told!”

Giles – “But but.. how would Buffy give that to Angel?”

Giles caught an ashamed look from Buffy. Then he took his glasses off and rubbed them furiously.

Giles – “Oh.”

Buffy - “That’s right. My first time just happened to be my last time too.”

Giles, upset – “Don’t talk like that.”

Buffy – “Sorry. I’m just angry.”

Giles – “I .. I can understand. I’m angry too.”

Willow – “So what do we do about Angel now?”

Buffy – “I thought it would obvious. We have to kill him. It’s what.. It’s what Angel would have wanted. He wouldn’t want to have that.. that monster parading around in his body.”

O-O-O-O

Scene – hours later, after sunset.

Cordelia looked up at a bold sign which read “Sunnydale Army base.”

Xander looked over at Cordelia with a smile. She actually was dressed reasonably trashy. He thought she could do better but was surprised that she took the effort at all.

Xander, wearing an army camo uniform – “I guess its fashion that’s always the first casualty in war.”

Cordelia nodded - “That’s so true. Are you sure this is the place?”

Xander – “Yup. I think this is the place.”

Cordelia - “So what’s my motivation again?”

Xander – “You’re a whore. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.”

Xander cut a few links on the fence with some wire cutters and squeezed through with Cordelia in tow.

Cordelia - “So are we talking Mira Sorvino in Mighty Aphrodite or Elizabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas.”

Xander paused and thought about that for a beat.

Xander - “Elizabeth Shue.”

Cordelia – “Yeah. I liked Leaving Las Vegas more.”

Xander – “Oh, I didn’t. I just liked the characters more.”

Cordelia - “That’s the same thing.”

Xander, while creeping – “No, it’s not. Leaving Las Vegas was mind numblingly dull, a completely boring movie. But I felt that the characters in it were more believable and easier to sympathize with. Also, the acting was better.”

Cordelia, frowning - “So you think it’s better to be a good actor in a poor movie than a not so good actor in a better movie?”

Xander – “You.. You’ve lost me. Forget it. Here’s it is. Now ssh.”

Xander looked out from the parked truck they were hiding behind and found the coast to be clear. Then they both snuck out from their hiding place and into the armory.

Cordelia – “But you’ve got to admit in mighty Aphrodite that Mira Sorvino was the only reason the movie worked at all.”

Xander shrugged as he looked through the crates.

Xander - “To be honest, I haven’t actually seen it. Isn’t it a Woody Allen? Oh wait. Here it is.”

Cordelia glared at Xander.

Cordelia – “You haven’t even seen it but we’re having a conversation about it!”

Xander – “What can I say? It’s not really that important. Is it?”

Cordelia – “It’s important to me. Mira Sorvino won eight different awards as a supporting character in that movie.”

Xander, not interested - “Really? Okay then be more Sorvino. And help me lift this, it’s heavy.”

Cordelia - “What is it?”

Xander, smiling evilly - “It’s large and very explosive. Don’t drop it.”

O-O-O-O

Scene – library.

Back at the library Giles, Jenny and Buffy were still trying to find some way to handle the judge. Buffy kept getting sidetracked by snipping at Jenny.

Buffy – “Giles, aren’t you even sore that Jenny’s been lying to us all this time?”

Giles, sighing - “Buffy, we should focus on the task at hand. The Judge.”

Buffy - “Yeah. He’s a tough one alright. It’s funny though. He keeps reminding me of the smurfs. Why is that?”

As if on cue, Xander and Oz came in, carrying a long crate. Cordelia and Willow followed them in.

Xander – “I wouldn’t worry about the judge anymore. Not with this little puppy.”

Buffy, blinking – “It’s a puppy?”

Xander, directing Oz - “Let’s put it down up there.”

Giles – “What is that? It looks military.”

Xander, grinning widely - “That’s because it is! We’re now the proud owner of our own anti-tank rocket launcher system. It could also be anti-judge in a pinch.”

Buffy, gasped - “You stole a rocket?”

Xander - “I like to use the word appropriated.”

Oz - “Sounds more military.”

Xander - “Precisely. And we actually stole two, just in case we need another. I’ve still got the other one back in my basement. I guess I’ll have to hide it from my parents before they find it. I should disguise it as a bong or something.”

Jenny - “But you can’t just blow him up with a rocket.”

Xander, frowning - “Why not? It’s what they’re made for.”

Buffy - “He’s got a point.”

Xander - “The only problem is, how do we keep the vampires off us long enough to set this thing up.”

Buffy, holding her hand up - “Ooh! I can help there. I can slay them. I haven’t forgotten how.”

Xander frowned.

Xander - “But we will be dealing with more than just a few vampires. We’ll be dealing with Spike and Drusilla AND Angel. Do you think you could fight them all at once?”

Buffy - “Sure. Spike’s in a wheel chair, paralyzed from the knees down and Drusilla will still be nursing the gaping chest wound I gave her last night so she won’t be so nimble. The only problem will be Angelus. Don’t worry though. I’ll handle him.”

Xander – “You better. If he isn’t, uh, handled then he’ll make our lives a living hell. We should check the factory first. I think it’s a long shot they’re still there but hey, we could be lucky. Hell, there might even be some underlings there we could interrogate.”

Giles - “That sounds like a sound plan.”

Cordelia looked at Xander oddly.

Cordelia – “Okay. Who are you and what have you done with Xander?”

Xander, chuckling - “Sorry. It’s just wearing this uniform has brought back a few old memories from that Halloween. There’s just something about a chain of command that brings out my pushy side.”

Buffy – “So who’s going to use the rocket?”

Xander – “I will. Is anyone else here trained?”

Buffy, arguing – “You’re not exactly trained.”

Xander – “True but it’s the closet thing we have. Besides, you can’t use it. We need you to protect us against the vampires, remember?”

Buffy, pouting - “Alright. I .. I just thought it would be fun.”

O-O-O-O

Continued in next chapter.