The Future Is What We Make

TITLE: The Future is What We Make
AUTHOR: Willie J
EMAIL: wmj166@msn.com
WEB SITE: N/A
RATING: R
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Buffy et all, not Angel the Series.
FEEDBACK: Please
DISTRIBUTION: List Archives
SPOILERS: None
SUMMARY: Xander comes clean with a shattering secret
BETA'D BY:

Chapter 1

Xander walked to the Summer's residence, carefully keeping his eyes lowered. Making sure he didn't meet any of the demons' eyes wandering the street. Though he was married to a Slayer and a fierce fighter, he still knew that was no protection against getting the living shit beat out of him. All Faith would do would just beat the living hell out of the demon that beat him up, but he would still be in a world of pain and not be able to work.

He snorted, to think that seven years ago all they had to worry about was the odd vampire or two. Hell, as long as they stayed indoors and didn't go out at night, they could live a relatively peaceful existence. Now, demons roamed the earth like they owned it, which might be true if he thought about real hard, which I am so NOT about to do, he thought emphatically.

He hurried faster, making sure that he didn't appear to be running. Ever since Buffy had disappeared, he and the others had been keeping an eye on Mrs. Summers (Joyce, he amended with a inner smile). The demons never lost a chance to harass her or try to hurt her. It had gotten so bad that Xander was trying to convince Faith to allow her to stay with them. So far, his wife had been refusing, wanting nothing to do with the mother of a Slayer that had abandoned her duties, her responsibilities.

Walking up the path, he noted with alarm that Mrs. Summer's, Joyce's door was standing wide open. Running into the house, shutting the door behind him, he found Joyce lying on the floor, badly beaten with a broken arm. As he lean in to touch her, she made a small whimpering sound quickly suppressed, tears leaking slowly out of her damaged eyes. He had been so focused on her severely beaten features that he hadn't noticed the state of her clothing.

Slowly, he reached out a trembling hand and pulled her dress down from around her waist, over her naked hips, tears running down his face. As he pulled her skirt down, he could see where she had been so badly mauled. Four deep parallel wounds ran across her belly and her shirt had been ripped apart, baring her breasts. Teeth marks and bloody gashes marring her breast.

She moaned and pushed weakly against hands, "No, no, no, no," she mumbled from swollen lips, her mind lost in a haze of pain. Pain in her arm, pain in breasts, pain in her stomach, pain between her le...., her mind shied away from the awful concept, vaguely hearing choked muffled sobs coming from somewhere, coming from me! Why am I crying, she thought confusedly, why am I hurting? Where's Buffy, I have to find Buffy. She's in danger, I didn't really mean it for her not to come back! Buffy, where are you? She screamed deep in her mind, recalling that fateful night that her daughter had ran from the house. She had yelled at her, that if she left the house she had better not come back. But she hadn't meant it. She was angry, angry at her daughter, angry at lies Buffy had told her, angry for all the secrets her daughter had kept. She felt out of control and had lashed out, lashed out at the person that had made her spin out of control, her daughter.
And she hadn't seen Buffy since.

Xander gently restrained the confused woman, vaguely making out her words, calling for Buffy, her precious daughter. They knew where Buffy was, even here, in DemonCentral, they had heard the rumors. His lips twisted bitterly at the thought of Buffy. He nearly spat to remove the foul taste from his mind. He got up swiftly, ran to the kitchen and grabbed a towel. Quickly running it under the warm water, getting it wet, he ran back to Joyce and began cleaning her off. Knowing that he had to move quickly, lest the demons return.

Ignoring her futile efforts to stop him, he ran the wet cloth gently between her legs. Freezing at the evidence of green slime between her legs. Letting out a moan of despair, knowing which of the demons had done this to Joyce and knowing that she didn't have long to live. A Tor'kn demon's semen was always fatal to humans, something that they took great joy in raping as many humans as they could.

Moving faster, he clean her up. Running upstairs, he grabbed a blanket off of a bed and dosed it with perfume and ran back down the stairs, quickly wrapping a slowly struggling Joyce within the blanket.

As swiftly as he could, he left for home, thankfully encounter few demons that wanted to harass a human. Entering his house, he layed Joyce gently down on the couch. Racing to the phone, he dial a familiar number, praying that she was home.

"Hello," came a cautious voice.

"Willow! Thank god you're home, you have to come over quick, it's Joyce, she's hurt really bad and I need help, like now. You have to hurry, please Willow. They got her, they hurt her bad, Willow," he babbled urgently into the phone, hearing Willow's quick gasp of shock before her low moan of pain.

"Oh goddess, NO!" Willow screamed into the phone, hardly able to comprehend what Xander was saying. Not her, not Joyce Summers! Anyone else but her!

"Willow, you got to come help me. I don't know if I was able to hide her scent so that they don't trace her to here. I don't know what happened, she was supposed to be protected, Faith promised me that she would be protected!" Xander ran his hand frustratedly through his hair.

"Xander, just hold on, I'll be there in about 5-10 minutes, just hold on, okay," Willow said between sobs, fighting for control. It wouldn't do for her to breakdown, not when Joyce and Xander needed her.

"Okay, just hurry," Xander said, taking a deep breath and hanging up the phone. Trying to calm himself as he heard light footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Daddy," called Michael from the stairs, "Is Gamma Joyce, 'k?" His voice trembled a little in fear, having seen the bruises darkening Joyce's face and knowing what they meant. He was used to his mother coming home, looking like that but not Gamma Joyce.

"Don't be a baby," Jocelyn snapped impatiently at her younger brother, from her five year old perspective. Seeing the three year old lip begin to quiver, she relented and hugged him to her. She saw the bruises and knew what it meant, she just didn't want Mikey to be scared. She took her responsibilties as a big sister seriously.

"Gamma Joyce prob'ly felt down and hurted herself," she said with a sidelong look at her father, watching him wipe tears away from his eyes and a shaky smile cross his face.

"Hey you guys," Xander said smiling, gently scooping up his son, "Hey, now, what's the matter," seeing the tiny face cloud with incipient tears.

Mikey rubbed furiously at his eyes, not wanting to be thought of as a baby, "Is Gamma Joyce hurt," he said with a little quiver in his voice, "Like mommy?"

"Not like mommy, but yes Gamma Joyce's been hurt pretty bad," Xander said quietly.

"Is she gonna die," Jocy asked as she sat on a stair clutching her legs to her chest.

Xander debated whether to lie or tell them the truth, he wanted to protect his children for as long as he could and he knew that the truth would be the only protection they would be able to count on.

"Yeah, sweetie, she's going to die," Xander said quietly, regret and grief mingling in his eyes, as his son buried his head in his shoulder and began crying. Xander walked over to the stairs and sat beside his daughter and pulled her to him as silent tears rolled down her face and his as well. This was how Willow found them when she arrived breathlessly to Xander's house.

The grief and misery in his expressive brown eyes alerting her to the pain ahead. He watched as her hand went to her throat in a nervous gesture, her eyes wide. Flickering his eyes to the right, gesturing her to the living room. Watching as she walked with slow hesitant steps, stopping when she saw the blanket wrapped bundle on the couch. With a cry she awkardly ran forward, unwrapping the figure with trembling hands, falling back on her hands at the shock of seeing Joyce's battered face. A low moan of horror came from deep within Willow as she clutched at her swollen stomach, feeling the child within grow agitated at her roiling emotions.

This was the mother figure that they all worshipped and adored. She was the reason why they continued fighting. For her and their loved ones. Tears running down her face as she slowly stroked Joyce's hair, thinking how they had came to this point.

* FLASHBACK FLASHBACK *

After Buffy had disappeared, things were so chaotic what with Giles being viciously slaughtered by the demons when Acathla had opened, not being there to tell them what to do. People dying left and right of them as the demons overran the small town and began spreading quickly throughout the nation.

Xander managed to get Cordy out of Sunnydale, or Sunnyhell, her lips twisted bitterly, and sent her to LA but he stayed because of her, because he felt that she needed him and he couldn't abandon her. Something that she would spend the rest of her life making up to him.

Joyce, Xander and OZ had taken care of her, in the Summer's home after she had gotten out of the hospital. It took her several weeks, litey toy to get back on her feet, but she did it with their help, keeping her strong, making her determine not to let Oz and Xander done. They did their best to carry on their Slayerette duties, but it was a near impossible task. She provided the magic, Oz provided the wild fury and Xander provided the tactical knowledge. It was Xander's idea that they made their base Willow's home, not wanting to lead anyone back to the Summer's residence where they were all staying.

They knew they were fighting a losing battle but were determined to carry on, for Buffy, for Giles. Fighting to protect Joyce for as long as they could, determined to take as many down before they were killed and they had no doubt that that was their fate and they accepted it. Spending more and more time perfecting their skills, sneaking through the town stealing what ever they could, watching secretly how the demons battled and adapting their skills and plans to suit.

They gathered as many people they could and they formed a squads, protecting their town and their people. Teaching them how to protect themselves. Slowly, taking back their streets, one by one. They had plenty of time now, especially since they didn't need to go to school anymore, considering that a lot of their classmates were either dead, playthings for a demon or turned. Oz could come and go as he pleased in the new Sunnydale with little resistance, the demons recognizing that he was a supernatural creature; they grudgingly allowed Willow the freedom to roam, clearly seeing the magic within her; but Xander and any other human caught by themselves were fair game. In the beginning, it took both of them to protect Xander on the streets.

Then a woman came and the tide started turning. Turning in their favor. They watched in awe as the dark hair woman came in, kicking ass and not even bothering to stop to take names. She came, she saw and she slayed, eerie reminiscent of the way Buffy battled and they realized just who or what she was. The new Slayer! Joy in their hearts as they realized that when they died, their people would be in good hands.

It took a long time for Faith to trust them, it only took Xander a few weeks to fall in love with her. She had gradually let Xander in, then finally the rest of them, still standoffish with Joyce Summers, despite this Willow was happy at finally seeing Xander with someone. She and Oz had spent many nights, or at least she had, teasing Xander about being in looooved. All he could do was grin that beautiful Xander-smile and duck his head.

They were all so happy when they finally gotten married later that year. Then came the letter.

Somehow, someway Cordy had managed to find a place of safety and managed to get word back to them. She wrote that where she worked was like a refuge, a place where demons and humans could peacefully co-exist. No fighting, no killing and she wanted them to come there to help. She had went on in great detail about the man she worked for having a calling, a mission of redemption, working for the Powers-That-Be. He was a Warrior of the Light fighting against the darkness.

They had exchanged astonished glances reading the letters, wondering if it was true, it maybe they could go there and join the fight. She had them almost convinced that maybe there was a safe place after all.

Willow and Oz exchanged glances, her eyes determined, his eyes clear and loving. Oz smiled wryly knowing that there was no way in hell that Willow was going to leave Xander behind. If Xander stayed, Willow was staying. As he had stayed behind for her, she would remain with him, knowing that Xander wasn't g to to leave his pregnant wife.

But maybe, they thought aloud, getting excited, Willow and Oz could take Joyce there, where she would be safe and come back. Since Faith had Sunnydale to protect and guard. They would would take Joyce there after Faith had the baby and get back as soon as possible. They exchanged happy smiles, pleased at their plan, knowing that their Joyce would be safe, before continuing to read the letter. Cordy almost had them convinced when she added that it was Angel that she worked for and that Buffy was helping him, trying to find her own redemption.

Xander, Oz and Willow eyes slowly began to harden, turning cold. Faith shivered as she felt the temperature suddenly begin to drop in the room. Oz felt his beast coming to the fore, growling low in his throat.

Faith stepped back in alarm, for the first time clearly seeing just how dangerous her friends and husband had become. While admittedly they were young but, by the look in their eyes they were far, far older than she would ever be. She wondered who was this Angel and Buffy that Cordy mentioned, recognizing the name Buffy. She was a little confused though, she thought they were dead. She was a little jealous of the fact that it was her husband's ex-girlfriend that was writing but she knew that Xander was loyal to her and that the only real competition or threat to her marriage would only be Willow.

They didn't really like to talk about the friends they had lost this summer by names, all she knew was when they got those distant looks in their eyes they were either thinking about the fatherfigure they had lost or their other best friend. She would quietly leave them alone to grieve in silence, knowing that their wounds were still to fresh for them to talk to her about them yet. She would sometimes wake Xander in the middle of the night from a nightmares, screaming 'Giles', just holding him as he cried himself back to sleep.

She was started at the low venomous hiss from Willow, "That fucking bitch! That goddamn fucking BITCH!" She screamed, tears of rage falling down her face.

Xander turned around and abruptly began punching at the wall, trying to in vain to suppress the deadly, sick rage he felt. Vaguely aware that someone was calling his name, pulling on his arm. He whirled around with a snarl, abruptly seeing Faith draw back in alarm and swiftly adopt a defensive position, she slowly relaxed seeing that he wasn't going to attack her.

"What the hell's the matter with you," she said angrily, gesturing to the letter Willow had dropped on the floor. Willow was wrapped around Oz, stroking him gently as they both struggled to contain their rage.

"Do you remember the friends that died this summer, the ones we don't like to talk about," Xander said coldly, closing his eyes, remembering Giles screams. He slowly opened his eyes and Faith stepped back slowly recognizing the lurking death in his deep brown eyes. She looked around swiftly and met Willow's and Oz equally deadly gaze. She swallowed heavily and nodded hesitantly.

"Uhm, yeah," she said tentatively, knowing that while Xander wouldn't hurt her, she wasn't exactly sure about Willow and Oz right now.

"The man, his name was Giles. Just like Joyce is the mother to us all, he was the father that we all wished we had. He cared for us all equally. He was the school librarian and, " Xander paused, not wanting to say the words.

"He was Buffy's Watcher," Willow finished, her eyes and voice cold and hard.

Faith was shocked, "Your friend, Buffy was a Slayer," she asked in astonishment, slowly getting angry.

"Yes," Oz growled out, his beast peering out of his eyes.

"Just what the fuck is going on! I thought they were dead, this Angel, Buffy and Giles. You guys been acting like they were dead all this time. I supposed that Giles is alive someplace too," she sneered angry at how they had left her out of the loop, angry at the closeness between them all, making her feel like an outsider.

Xander eyes flashed angrily, "Giles is definitely dead, I saw him die ripped to piece in demons' claws. And the reason why we thought Buffy was dead is because when Acathla opened, she and Angel were never seen again. So, of course she had to be dead. Afterall who had ever heard of a Slayer abandoning their duties, right?" Bitter sarcasm laced through his tone, his eyes so cold and bitter.

"And as for Angel, well, he's been dead for, oh about 180 years. He's a vampire and the one that Buffy is in love with," Xander finished looking into Faith's shocked eyes.

She gasped, wheezing as she tried to get the words out past the horror, "He's a vampire," she managed to squeak out, watching the trio's slow nods.

"He one of the undead, one of the not living," she said, trying to get her mind to grasp the implications of what her sister Slayer was doing.

"Yep," Xander said quietly.

"My god," Faith said, her eyes wide in astonishment.

"Oh it gets better," Xander assured her.

"Oh please, what could be worse than this," Faith said her mind whirling.

"Oh how about Angel has a soul. A soul that is curse to never know happiness. What would you want to imagine would happen if dear Angel got groiny with the oh so lovely Buffy? Whoops! There goes that pesky soul, now let's give a BIG HELLO to the dashing, the charming, the homicidal killer, ANGELUS!" Xander smiled, his eyes empty and cold, looking down at his shocked wife.

"Angelus," she said in disbelief, "Even I have heard about Angelus, about the terrible foursome that roam Europe, the Scourge of Europe. How did you survive his coming," she shook her head in disbelief.

Willow sighed wearily, sitting down beside Oz on the floor. "We barely did, he killed so many people and Buffy always hesitated to kill him." She threw an apologetic look at Xander, "And to my shame, I sided with her over Xander. Xander and Cordy were the only one that were thinking clearly. Buffy wanted her boyfriend back and I was going to restore his soul just so she could be happy. Next to Xander she was my best friend and I hated seeing her so unhappy. So I tried to do the soul restoration spell, we were attacked, Kendra, the Slayer you replaced was killed, Giles was kidnapped, Xander arm was broken and I wound up in a coma for a few days." Willow said, her head hanging in shame at how she had betrayed Xander.

"Jesus Christ, Willow!" Faith exploded out, making Oz growled. She paced angrily back and forth. "What the hell were you thinking, what were you all thinking?" She yelled angrily.

Xander sighed, walking over to his angry wife and stopping her pacing, "She was thinking about wanting her friend to be happy," he said quietly, gazing into Faith furious eyes, "No matter the cost to herself, she only wanted Buffy to be happy." Watching the rage died down in Faith. She smiled wryly, even knowing the little red-head, she knew how generous her heart was. She was fiercely loyal to whomever she named as friend, willing to do anything for the ones she called friend. Faith knew she was lucky to be part of Willow's inner circle and was determined never to let her down.

"I committed the ultimate betrayal though," Xander said painfully. Faith turned wide eyes on him, hardly daring to believe her Xander had betrayed someone.

"What did you do," she breathed.

"When Willow came to, she was determined to recast the spell," Xander admitted painfully. "She sent me to find Buffy, to tell her that she was recasting the spell and I finally found Buffy, heading to the mansion. I had loved her so much and looking into her eyes, I betrayed the world." Xander said, his eyes clear, his head held up. Waiting for Faith condemnation.

"I told her the truth, that Willow was redoing the re-soul spell. I saw the look of total happiness in her eyes as she kissed me and ran off to battle Angelus. I made my way after her and managed to get Giles out. As we were hobbling out, I looked back and saw them fighting and I knew what Buffy was trying to do, hold on until Willow spell worked. After the demons came, I thought that the both had died in the first rush, but I realized now that Buffy got Angel away without sealing Acathla." Xander finished, looking at the horrified faces of his friends and wife.

Willow quietly got up from her position on the floor and crossed to him, "You didn't know, Xander, you didn't know. She knew what she had to do, she was the Slayer the champion of humanity. All she had to do was cut him on the hand and throw the sword in and Acathla would have been sealed. She choose to run away, taking Angel and leaving us behind to face what was coming." She put her arms around him and hugged him tight.

Oz got off the floor and stalked over carefully, "Yeah, man, you didn't know. What she would was going to do. If you had you probably would have lied your head off, to make sure that she did her duty," he said, all three of them looked at him in astonishment. This was the longest sentence he had ever made and with the most expression. He gave them a little smirk, looking pleased at how well he had managed to throw them.

Faith sighed, looking at them, knowing Xander like she did, she agreed. "She should have done her duty, no matter the cost. That's what we're here for, just because she fell in love with him doesn't mean that the rules no longer apply to her. Because of her a lot of good people died, before and after."

* * *

They never bother to contact Cordy and they never told Joyce that her daughter was still alive and had left her behind.

Willow came back to herself with a start, tears still pouring down her face as she looked at the battered face of the woman that they affectionately called Mom.

Distantly she heard Xander say something to the children, hearing small feet run the stairs. She started at feeling Xander's hands on her shoulders and with a sob turned and pressed against him.

Xander carefully picked her up and sat with her in his lap in the chair, leaving Joyce still on the couch, mumbling to herself in her in her pain induce delirium. Rocking the weeping young woman in his lap, stroking her hair gently.

"Xander, we have to get her out of here," Willow insisted tearfully, clutching at his shirt in desperation. "We can't protect her anymore, look at her," she said throwing a hand out at blanket wrapped body. "She's can't live like this, she can't......," she faltered a stop, seeing pain and misery etched in Xander's brown eyes. Slowly she turned her head to Joyce's body and slowly turned back to Xander, her eyes wide with horror, her mouth coming up to stop the scream welling inside her, frantically shaking her head to deny the truth she saw in Xander's eyes.

Xander nodded his head, knowing that Willow knew the horror of what had been done to their Joyce. He closed his eyes, to tell her the final horror.

"It was Tor'ka demons," he said painfully, holding her tightly as she bent over with a groan of pain.

Willow felt her stomach heaving as she tried to ride out the pain. She looked up at Xander, her green eyes turning pitchblack. Xander knew he needed to turned her away, to get her past the pain, the horror, knowing that this wasn't good for the baby. Willow was too close and this was the first child that she and Oz had successfully held on to.

"Willow, stop," he said sternly, fighting against his pain, setting it aside to help Willow. "You have to focus, Willow," he said to the struggling woman in his lap. He heard the door open and felt Oz at his side as they struggled to contain Willow, neither of them wanting to see her lose control, and lose another child to the wild magic raging through her.

Willow could distantly hear Xander and Oz voices, as she fought the magic within her, the magic that wanted to take revenge against everyone that had hurt them, that had hurt Joyce. Most of all she wanted to kill Buffy for not coming back for her mother. Gradually, she regain control of herself, feeling both men relax as her eyes turned their familiar green.

Oz already knew what happened the moment he stepped into the house, he knew Joyce had little time to live with the poison racing through her system.

He met Xander's eyes as Xander carefully stood up and sat Willow in the chair. "I'm going to get Faith. I think it's time that we took Joyce to Buffy, at least this way she can say goodbye to her mother face-to-face." Xander said, he had always wondered if they had made the right decision, to keep the knowledge that Buffy was still alive from Joyce. He had a sneaking suspicion that she already knew, from the small comments she had made. God knows, they gave her enough clues, especially when they started throwing away everything of theirs that had something to do with Buffy.

"Yeah," Oz said, holding his wife's hand. Xander hesitated not wanting to leaving Willow in this state, she looked up with a small smile and motioning him to get going while she and Oz saw to Joyce.

Xander hurried out of the house, looking for his wife. It was getting late and he didn't want to be caught outside afterdark. While the demons knew well enough not to give him too much grief, he figure it was better not to take chances. Looking everywhere he could think of, getting a little more jittery as the sun was getting lower in the sky, he asked a couple of somewhat friendly demons if they had seen the slayer. They pointed him in the right direction and he hurried to the mansion, wondering why in the hell would his wife be there, it was where the demonlords held their council meetings. He hurried faster, hoping she wasn't in any trouble.

Sliding through an opening he had discovered many years ago, he crept overhead to the council chambers, hearing his wife's voice. Pysching himself up to rescue her, when he heard what she was saying and listened, frozen in horror, a horror thas sas swiftly turning into rage of epic proportions.

He wanted to howl his rage and pain into the darkening sky. What is it about these slayers, he thought painfully, what makes them constantly betray the people that loved them. He shook with the need to cry, to rage.

He heard the evil conversation end---what Faith had ultimately agreed to for power and the threat to her if she failed. He escaped as fast as he could; already making plans for his family's departure. Swiftly making his way back to the house, he made it back to his street just as the sun began to set, running up the street as fast as he could and slamming into the house.

Between he and Willow, they had managed to clean Joyce up and get her into bed. Willow cast a minor healing spell on her, encouraging her body to recover faster, happy to see the weary, painful smile on Joyce's face before she went to sleep. They knew that she was already dying, they had a week at most. They agreed that someone would remain with her at all times with Willow was taking the first watch. Oz looked up in surprise as Xander burst into the house panting for breath. His eyes narrowing ominously as he led led the rage and pain coming from Xander.

He rose from his sitting position slowly, carefully watching Xander, his eyes turning wolfish as his wolf rose to the surface. Friend or not, he knew what he would do if Xander attempted to hurt anyone in the house. They had learned that painful lesson a long time ago. Friendship was one thing, duty was another and it they conflicted---one of them was going down.

Xander closed his eyes, fighting to contain the fire raging in his soul, trembling with the effort, knowing Oz was watching him with concern in his eyes, ready to do whatever was necessary to protect their family.

"We gotta leave," he said abruptly, pacing back and forth. He wrapped his arms around himself, still fighting for control.

Oz simply looked at him, raising a brow in a silent bid for further information.

Xander stopped pacing, looking at Oz, reaching out trying to borrow some of his friends calm control. Knowing that he needed that center of calmness now more than ever to keep him from raging out of control. This was not the time to be raging, this was a time for planning.

He spoke rapidly, knowing they didn't have much time before Faith got back and had to execute her part of the bargain. Oz's eyes widen in amazement before slowly hardening, his lips peeling back and a low growl echoed through the room, before he was able to control himself with a savage will, knowing that Xander had already came up with a plan to forestall Faith.

"When she gets here, I'll make sure she stays downstairs. You make sure that the kids stay upstairs so that she doesn't find out about Joyce being still alive, you know the kids'll blab everything to her and let Willow know that she'll have to keep Joyce quiet. I'll fix her something to eat, keep her distracted as long as possible. Willow's going to have to work a little magic to keep her here so we can escape," Xander said, pacing as he explained out the plan.

Speaking quickly, he revealed the details of the plan. Oz blinked in amazement at the audacity of Xander's plan. He nodded and put his hand on Xander's shoulder to silently offer his support and comfort before rushing upstairs to tell Willow what was going on, making sure the children stayed upstairs and out of the way. He knew that Xander's decision was killing him.

Xander rushed into the kitchen, quickly getting the necessary ingredients out and whipping up a simple meal. He ran to the bathroom for the added portion of his plan and froze, staring into the mirror, hoping and praying for the strength for do what was necessary. His eyes slowly hardening as he heard the door open and Faith's voice in the living room, calling for him and the children. He snatched the bottle out of the cabinet and dashed back into the kitchen.

"Xan," Faith called tiredly, her bag slumping off her shoulder. Pain in her heart at what she had to do, what she MUST do to secure Sunnydale for the humans residing in it. She was a Slayer and a slayer used every weapon available to get the job done, she told herself. She bit her lip, but if Xan or the others found out her involvement, she knew that her life wouldn't be worth shit. She prayed they would understand and possibly forgive her if the truth came out. She was a SLAYER, she knew her duty. And no matter the cost to herself, she had to do whatever it took to keep the people, the HUMANS of Sunnydale safe! She held her necklace tightly in her hand, silently offering a prayer to whatever gods left for help, for strength of will to do what she knew was necessary..

She jumped slightly when she opened her eyes seeing Xander watching her curiously. She searched his beautiful brown eyes and her heart melted--even after all these years, she still couldn't believe just how fuckin' lucky she had gotten to have this man totally in love her! To think that she had almost threw his love away, and now, she just prayed that he understood when and if the truth ever came to light.

"Hey boytoy," she said huskily with a smile and wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling, inhaling his wonderful smell, "After we get the little anklebiters to bed, I think, Mr. Harris that you and me need to spend some serious quality ADULT time getting horizontal," she ended with a y smy smile, feeling him shiver at her touch, her eyes widening, Oh yeah, she still had it!

"Ummm, I thought we weren't gonna call me that anymore," Xander said huskily, his eyes darkening as he looked at his wife and wondered how anyone could betray everything, everybody, for fucking POWER! He silently snorted, he should have known better than to trust another Slayer, she was just like Buffe sme smiled back at her, "Yes indeedy, Mrs. Harris, I think you'll be very surprised at my performance tonight," he smiled lustily at her, his stomach roiling at his deception. He still loved her, her glorious dark beauty, her strength, her confident attitude, she was all he had ever desired in a woman but she lacked the most basic thing: integrity!

"Hey baby I'm sorry I'm late," she apologized, thinking her lateness was the cause of the dark look in his eyes, but reassured by his smile that she was forgiven.

"Hey no prob, my sweet lady. The Xan-man has everything under control. Wills and Oz are upstairs entertaining the kids for the evening so we've got the entire downstairs all to ourselves," he said with a licentious wiggle of his brows.

"Mmmm, Xander, I think we're gonna hafta give you the title of the Big Bad," Faith said, laughing at the smarmy look on his face.

"What's on the menu tonight, besides you," she whispered in his ear, licking and nibbling on his earlobe, feeling his shiver and moan of delight.

Xander hastily pulled her away from his ear, "Bad girl! Bad! There will be NO eating of the Xander tonight. Uhm, let me rephrase that, no eating of the Xan-man's EAR tonight. All other parts are assuredly on the menu, though," he said huskily trying to stay focused. Think of Joyce! Think of Mikey! Finding the thoughts of them steadying him as they kissed their way into the kitchen.

They separated to sit down when Faith, with a mischievous look jumped into Xander's lap. "Hey lover, missed me," she purred before attacking his mouth.

"Food! Eat Food! Food is good," Xander gasped out under her attacking mouth, forcing her to draw back.

"You're no fun, but," her smile growing delightfully nasty, "A growing boy like you needs lots of substance," she whispered.

"Let me feed you tonight," Xander huskily said to her, his eyes hooded as he softly kissed her mouth. Drawing back, he popped finger food into her mouth, groaning as she took his finger into her mouth and sucked on it, while gazing at him meaningfully.

Slowly he feed her, kissing her between bites as her eyes got heavier and heavier.

"Boy, I must be more tired than I thought," she mred red as her head swam, blearily trying to focus on Xander. "Looks like we gonna hafta postpone our little adult.....," she slurred out, collapsing on his chest, deeply asleep.

Xander dropped his head back with a sigh of relief. Another couple of minutes there and I would have forgotten my Great Plan, he thought sardonically. Quickly picking her up, he strode through the house and up the stairs to their bedroom. Lying her on the bed, he quickly tied her hands and feet to the four bedposts.

Rushing to the spare room, he saw that Willow and Oz were just about ready to go.

"Oz explained the plan," he asked, tersely shoving a couple more things into his knapsack. Weapons, clothes, weapons, something for the kids, he thought, more weapons. Grabbing another knapsack he shoved in more weapons, a couple of guns and generous amount of ammunition. You could never have enough weapons, he thought.

"I understand and Xander....," Willow began, her eyes curiously soft and hard at the same time.

"NO! Just save it Willow," Xander stopped his packing and stood with his head hanging low, his hand clenching on the straps, "Don't say it Willow, 'cause if you do then I don't know if I could go on and, I have to see this through, to get Joyce and you guys to safety. So just don't say anything, 'K," he asked hoarsely, blinking back tears.

" 'kay," Willow nodded, tears in her eyes, her heart hurting for her best friend. Two slayers had ultimately betrayed him, them. But this was the worse betrayal of all. Faith would have cost him more than just his last remaining innocence, she would have cost him the only other thing he valued: his children.

They rushed down the stairs, where Oz was carefully burning the map of L.A., with the route plotted out. It was going to take them several days to reach safety, but they were determined to get Joyce to someplace safe where she could die in peace. They got a simple message out to their people, Acathla. It's meaning was clear, 'Get the hell out of Sunnydale; head to safety'---knowing that the message would be understood: they had been compromised. They had thought up this code years ago, before Faith entered their lives and they never bothered to change it. They packed all the non-perishable foods they could carry, packed plenty of water and escaped into the deadly night.


* * *

Faith slowly came to with a groan, trying to open her bleary eyes, calling for Xander weakly as she tried to move. She frowned wondering why she wasn't moving, she was pretty sure that she had given the order for her arms to move.

What the hell, she thought as she turned her head, startled to see herself restrained. Fear suddenly pounding through her, she called urgently fondernder, for her children, for anyone, panicking at the lack of answer. Fear induced adrenaline flooded through her, for her family and friends safety, giving her extra strength as she strained at the restraints, finally snapping the ropes binding wrist. Quickly freeing the rest of her restrained limbs, she jumped up---- rushed for the door and just as quickly falling on her ass. Her eyes widen as she cautiously put out a hand, felt an invisible barrier standing between her and freedom. She caught her breath, replaying last night----the dark look on Xander's eyes, the intent way he kept looking at her--- and realized that Xander must have drugged her and Willow had trapped her in here. Looking around, seeing it still darkish out, she assumed that she had only been out for a few hours.

Letting out a frustrated growl, she looked around for something to break, noticing te lte left on the nightstand. She looked at it, feeling a sense of dread before picking it up slowly and reading the contents---her hands trembling and tears spilling from her eyes as she read the damning letter, knowing that no matter what, she had already lost everything she had ever valued.

//Dear Faith,

Or should I address you as Slayer, now?
Because that's is what you are, right?
The Slayer, the supposedly Chosen One.
The one protecting the humans from the
things that go bump in the night?
But what happens when the thing that goes
bump in the night turns out to be a human,
maybe even a Slayer?

You might have figured out that you were drugged,
however, what you may not have realized is that
you've been asleep an entire day, and knowing your
impatient nature, you probably already tried to get out.
Well you can't, at least not right now. Afterall, I have no
intention of killing you, my beloved wife, mother two.
The barrier will drop in about 24 hours and there's enough
food in the room for you to eat so that you won't go hungry.

You're probably wondering WHY aren't you?
A curious thing happened the other day, I went over to
Joyce's house and found that she had been raped.
I rushed her back home and went to fetch you so t
hat you could put a whoop ass on the bastard demon or
demons, I should say, that did this to our Joyce, our Mom.
And guess where I found you, my dear Slayer, and guess
what I heard you agree to?

HOW COULD YOU, FAITH?! I know you didn't like
Joyce that much, but to also agree to sacrifice your own child?!
YOU let the demons have Joyce and for what? For fucking power?!
For control over Sunnydale?! It's not worth the cost of your
own child's life or Joyce being raped and left to die, Faith.
If you had just said something, anything, I would have been
more than happy to pack our shit up and leave but you went
ahead and made a fucked up decision!

Well, Slayer, I hope you can live with yourself in
your new home, because we sure as hell won't be.

Xander//

Tears fell steadily down her still face, Xander I did it for us, for Sunnydale, she cried silently to herself.

* * *

Sure enough, the next day the barrier went down. She rushed downstairs, taking precious time to look for clues as to where they had disappeared to, her eyes glowing victoriously at the burnt pieces of the L.A map, knowing precisely where they were headed. She rushed to the mansion to deliver the bad news that they had escaped.

"You have failed us," the darkness rippled as the chorus of voices echoed throughout the room.

"No, I have not! There's still time to reach them, to keep our bargain," Faith shouted as the darkness moved threatening towards her, pausing at her words.

"Continue," it said coldly, "You have our attention.....for the moment."

"There's only two places that they could have gone," Faith said calmly, her heart pounding in fear, "Based on the time they had me drugged and trapped. When the barrier went down I stayed there looking for clues as to their location and discovered a burned map of L.A.

"So, they're gone to L.A then," the darkness said mused.

Faith shook her head, "No that's what Xander would want me, us to think. He's the brains and the strategic planner. I think that he had one of the other's plot the route, burn the map to make it look as if that's where they were going. But I'm betting that they went to Freemont in Colorado--- there's a safety zone that Willow can easily transport them all to within three days, tops," she stated confidently.

"Not L.A then, why not? It's certainly closer," the darkness said, roiling.

"Thereno wno way Xander or Willow would EVER step a foot in L.A. There's a lot of bad blood between them and Buffy Summers. And Buffy's with Angel and Xander hates them both," she added remembering the fury in their eyes when they discovered that the blond slayer was still alive.

"No, believe me, there's no way they would go to L.A. I'll stake my life of that," she said assuredly.

"And it will be your life if you fail us again, Slayer. You want this town, you had better prove that you are capable of holding it," the darkness roiled restlessly. "Take these three and hunt them down and complete our bargain. They are to kill the others," the darkness said.

"NO! Please don't kill them," Faith shouted desperately, fear clutching at her heart.

The darkness shifted, "You realized that the humans will hate you and revile you for what you are doing, yet you want them back," it questioned harshly, lightening crackling statically through the room, wind rushing around Faith, blowing her hair into her face.

"No, I know that there's no going back.....I just want them to live," she shouted, shielding her eyes, "They are still my friends and family. I can't, I won't let you hurt them."

Lightening flared, striking her and knocking her into the wall, "As if you could stop us," it said contemptuously.

Faith lay there stunned, feeling like she had been hit by a train. Slowly she got up, wheezing, cautiously checking to see if anything was broken. Wiping the blood from her mouth she watched the shifting darkness, ready to dodge the next blow if any came her way.

"Perhaps we are inclined to be merciful," the darkness mused. "Yes, we will keep your humans alive, just in case," it said decisively.

"Just in case what," Faith said suspiciously, her eyes narrowing, knowing that she had made a deal with the devil all to protect the town and people that she had come to care about.

"Just in case we need them," the darkness spoke and lashed out at her; the Slayer and the three demons disappeared in a blinding flash. Leaving silence in their wake.

The darkness spoke aloud in the empty hall.

"Can we trust the Slayer?" The darkness roiled and shifted as it/they conversed with itself/themselves in the empty hall.

"No, the plan has always been to separate the boy from his companions. By manipulating the Slayer to kill their child, he loses one of his companions, his Slayer mate. Once the Slayer returns with the humans, we will eliminate the Witch. The werewolf and child will be easy to dispose of, leaving him alone and easier prey." It/they answered.

"Do you think we can turn him to our purposes?"

"One he is in our control and broken, it will be easy to turn him to our purposes. The prophecies all point in his direction. He is the deciding factor in our war."

"And if we can not break him, can we kill him?"

"No if we can not break him and turn him to our purposes, we will destroy this world and retreat."

* * *

Faith braced herself for the expected pain, frowning when all she felt was wind rushing past her. She opened one eye warily, but all she saw was dappled twilight and wrecked buildings, realizing that the darkness had sent her---- she spun abound, hearing a slight movement behind her---sent them to Freemont to await the Sunnydale crew. She looked at the silent demons, thinking quickly, "How do we get back when we've found them," she asked suspiciously.

The demons looked at each other before one showed her out a red jewel strung on a chain, "We use this to call the Master and go back," it said simply.

"Oh," Faith said, tilting her head, "So that thing's kinda important huh."

"Relatively," it said dryly withdrawing it's hand and hanging the chain about it's neck.

Faith glanced at the demons and fiddled with her necklace, her eyes widening as she felt it warming in her hand.

"I have to make a call of nature, boys or girls," she said with a wink, "I'll be back in a sec." She saunter off, heading for the nearest rocky point.

Darting behind rocks, she pulled the chain off and opened the locket, seeing her daughter, her beautiful baby, looking at her. Love and faith shining so clearly in her child's eyes and for the first time, she realized exactly what she bargained with the devil to do. Her heart twisted in pain at her evil bargain. Either she had to go forward with the bargain or watch her town, her people be left unprotected. She steeled herself to go forward with the plan, knowing that no matter the outcome she had already lost her family, her friends. Knowing that she would have to live off treasured memories for the rest of her life, for there would be no fuckin' way that Xander, nor Willow and Oz, would EVER forgive her or allow her access to Joce.

"Hey baby," she whispered tenderly, her face softening.

"Mommy," Joce squealed happily, bouncing excitedly. Her cry woke up Xander and the others, who sprang up grabbing their weapons, peering around in baffled silence, seeing no hostility directed at them.

Xander exchanged looks with Willow and Oz, turning to the oblivious Joce as she babbled happily into her hands, a soft glow lighting her face. They crept closed, fear settling in their hearts as they realized that Joce was talking to Faith.

"Daddy," Joce said with a smile, looking around to see her father and Auntie Willow and Unca Oz gathered around her, her bright smile faltering under their unsmiling faces. Tears began filling her eyes and her lips trembled, she was sooo tired and she wanted her mommy.

"Daddy, I do sumptin' wrong," she whispered unhappily, her eyes big and scared.

Xander looked at Willow and Oz and sighed, "No, baby, you didn't. I didn't know you could talk to Mommy with your necklace," he said gesturing. "Can I talk to mommy? 'cause pretty little princesses are supposed to be asleep so they can grow up kicking some serious demon bootie," he said with a forced grin, flicking at her nose.

Joce giggled, her tears forgotten. Her daddy was so funny! She happily handed him the necklace, "Will Mommy be comin' later," rubbing her eyes sleepily, feeling the tiredness creeping up on her again.

"No sweetie, she won't," Xander said quietly holding the locket staring down into Faith eyes.

"Daddy, you mad at Mommy," Joce asked sleepily, yawning.

"No, baby. I'm just a little disappointed. Mommy made a very bad mistake that she won't be able to fix. Now say goodbye to Mommy and then you go lay down and get some sleep, we have an early start in the morning," Xander whispered quietly.

" 'K, night Mommy," she said then going and laying down on her pallet; tumbling swiftly into sleep, curled up against Joyce.

"Xander, bring my children home, NOW," Faith demanded angrily.

"What for? You're just going to kill Mikey if I do," Xander said reasonably, his heart twisting in pain.

"Xander, I know you don't understand, but I am doing it for Sunndydale," Faith said urgently. "I'm doing so that everyone in Sunnydale and us can have a better life, without demons running around. They promised me that if I did this, they would force all the demons and other supernatural creatures to leave and Sunnydale would be free. Think of it Xander, an entire town with no demons or supernatural creatures to harass, to hurt anyone again." Faith begged, her eyes willing him to understand.

Xander looked down at her, "You made a deal with a demon that in exchange for Joyce's life, in exchange for the life of your child you would be in charge of Sunnydale. All demons and other supernatural creatures would be cast out, leaving only the humans." He paused, "And you believe this? You gave them Joyce to rape, to kill. You are the one that will kill your child and yet you stand there asking me to believe the fuckin' lies a DEMON told you? Are you out of your mind, you idiot! Did you forget about Willow and Oz? What do you think they are?"

Her mouth opened to refute his words and shut as it finally sank in just what she would have done----what type of bargain she had made.

"You're not going to Freemont, are you," she whispered realizing just how badly she had misjudged Xander. "You set me up," she said, her eyes widening.

"No and yes, in that order," Xander said quietly.

"You know what they are going to do to me, if I return without you," she said steadily.

"Baby, they were going to kill you whether you returned with us or not," Xander said with a bitter smile, his eyes wet, spilling tears. "Didn't we teach you nothing? Never, EVER make deals with demons especially when you think you have the upper hand." Willow and Oz put a comforting hand on each of his shoulders lending him their silent support.

Faith looked at him knowing that she had fucked shit up big time. She took a shuddering breath, trying to control herself, she was a Slayer, damn it! "Could you let me say goodbye to Mikey," she asked huskily, her eyes wet.

Oz went and woke the little boy up, whispering "Mommy wants to talk to you," cradling the warm sleepy body to him as he settled next to Xander.

"Hey little man," Faith whispered to him, her heart tearing at what she had almost done, at what she had almost allowed herself to become.

"Mommy," Mikey asked sleepily, cuddling against his Unca Oz. "Where Mommy," he asked, knuckling his eyes.

"Right here, baby," Xander whispered gently, putting the necklace in the tiny hanseeiseeing his son's eyes widen.

"Mommy," Mikey smiled happily, "You comin' wif us?" Leaning back in Oz's warm body.

"No, sweetie, Mommy won't be able to join you, Mommy has to work. But you, you be good for your Daddy, okay? And you mind what your Auntie Willow and Unca Oz tells you. And when the baby comes, you help Auntie Willow and Oz take care of the baby, right?" Faith smiled, her lips trembling.

"Yea, I be lika big brother, right," Mikey asked excitedly, twisting around looking first at Oz then at Willow.

"Yeah," Oz said quietly, pain deep in his eyes, blinking rapidly against the sting of tears, exchanging looks with Willow and Xander, seeing them in the same condition.

"Okay sweetie, give the necklace back to Daddy and now you get to bed and be a good boy," Faith said, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

"Say goodbye to Mommy," Xander whispered to his son.

"Bye Mommy," Mikey said forlornly, giving the necklace back to his Daddy. He didn't know why but he was scared. He held on tightly as Oz rose to his feet and carried him silently to his pallet, pulling the covers over him and kissing his forehead gently, hearing him whisper, "Sleep." And the little boy, tumbled back to sleep.

Oz made his way back to Xander and Willow.

Faith said shakily, "Willow, Oz take care of them, I'll try to buy you some time," she said with a crooked smile, her eyes wet. Forgive me, her eyes implored Xander.

"Thanks," Xander whispered, "I love you, Faith." Already forgiven, he silently answered her.

"And I love you to, Xan," she smiled and smashed the locket at hearing a slight noise from behind her. Spinning around she saw the three demons watching her.

"You know where they are, yes," grated one of the demons.

"C'mon boys, you gonna hafta do better than that," Faith mocked him, at least she thought it was a him. "After all, I am the Slayer."

"And you will be a dead Slayer if you don't tell us where they are," said the one with the chain. Her eyes narrowed on the chain, she had to get it away from the demons.

"Look boys, and I'll assume that that's what you are, while it's interesting chitchatting with you, you know that we need to make with the fighting and dying already," and with that she leaped forward savagely landing a hard kick to the smallest demon. Whirling with silent deadly grace, she fought the three demons, becoming a thing of dark beauty.

Unleashing the full force of her Slayer strength, grabbing an arm, grabbing a hand, twisting cruelly, hearing the ominous crack of bones breaking. A misstep caused one of the demons to latch onto her and her eyes widen realizing which demon it was. She twisted sacrificing her arm---silently screaming in agony as she felt her arm break. She brutally punched at the demon's arm, feeling it's hold on her weaken. She wrenched her broken arm free and with savage strength, she ripped the dangling jewel from it's necklace and ran. Hearing the enraged bellows behind her, she increased her speed, looping the necklace around her neck, making sure that they followed her. She gasped for breath, as each step jarred her broken arm and bruised body with nauseating pain.

She grabbed a rock, snarling silently at her weaken body, forcing it to move faster. She had to stay several feet ahead of the demons in order for this to work. She prayed that by smashing the jewel it would do what she hoped it would do. Sob Sobbing for breath, hearing the demons get closer, she whispered, "This is for you guys," and placing the jewel on a rock, she smashed it with the rock she held in her hand. Distantly hearing the howling of the demons a few feet behind her at the flare of incandescent light, feeling no pain as her body was incinerated by the force of the explosion that lit up the sky.

* *
*

At the abrupt cessation of Faith's image, Xander knew what she was going to do. He sat motionlessly staring at the now cracked locket. Trying to hold on to all the memories and good times they had shared. A choked sob came from his throat, before he collapsed in Willow and Oz's enfolding arms, his body shuddering under the force of his tears. Feeling no shame or embarrassment at his unmanly display, at lying in another male's arms, crying in sorrow. They had been through too much and shed too much blood for any of them to be embarrassed by tears, or each other's nudity. When either of them were weak, the other three supported the ailing one until he or she was strong enough to stand on their own. Now it was only the three of them to carry on, to support each. They had come full circle.

Willow and Oz held Xander throughout the night, one on either side on him. Stroking his back comforting each time he stirred restlessly in his grieving slumber. They knew they would never see the dark Slayer again, at least not alive.

* * *

As the red dawn approached, they began stirring. Willow, waking first as the baby began kicking, she leaned as far as her swollen belly would allow staring into Xander's waking red eyes as he stared bac her her.

Finally, seeing that he was lucid, she asked, "Do you want to stay another night?" She knew it was highly dangerous for them to spend more than one night anywhere, but if Xander needed it they would give it to him. She looked silently at Oz and he nodded agreeing with her. If they had to they would give Xander the time he needed.

Xander closed his eyes and drew in a shuddering breath as the pain washed over him. Feeling Willow and Oz's hands stroking his arms comforting. Feeling Oz holding him since Willow's shape made it difficult, sharing his grief and pain as well as his joy, lessening it, allowing him to go on. And as he had did for so many years, he put his pain and his grief away. There was no time to it now, later when he had time, the energy to spare he would deal with it then. But right now, they had to get to safety, had to get Joyce to safety.

Drawing back, he thanked Oz silently, twisting and brushing gently at Willow's hair in gratitude for their unselfish act.

"I'm good," he said hoarsely, getting to his feet. Both he and Oz extended hands, helping Willow clamber to her feet. "Be better get out of here, before someone spots up. We'll eat on the way," he said decisively, halting at Willow's hand on his arm as she peered up in his eyes. Nodding firmly and releasing him at only something she could see.

They woke everyone up, strapping the children in the bicycle seats, putting Joyce in the makeshift cradle they had hurriedly made for her, they continued their journey. Mourning the world's lost technology when Acathla had opened, no cars, no computers. Acathla opening had cast the world back to almost medieval times.

Hiding when they could, fighting when they couldn't hide-- killing any demon or person that tried to stop them. Finally they arrived in L.A.

Secretly, Xander was amazed that Joyce was still alive, not knowing that Willow and Joyce had talked, they cried long into the night over what was going on. Xander felt it would only burden her to know, Willow disagreed with Xander about keeping the knowledge of their situation from Joyce. She knew the only things keeping Joyce alive was her iron determination to see the birth of Willow's child and the chance to see Buffy again. What would happen after that she didn't know, because Joyce wouldn't say anything other than she wanted to see Buffy and Willow's baby.

They fought their way through the city to arrive at the Hyperion and requested entry, against demons who learned fatally that they were not such easy prey. The demon guards/sentries initially refused to let them entry even when they told them that they knew Cordelia Chase and Angel, laughing inglingly, saying that everyone knew the vampire with a soul and Ms. Chase.

After 30 minutes of endless arguments, Xander requested for the 9th time, "Will you just go and tell her that Xander, Willow, Oz and Joyce Summers are out here?" Gritting his teeth, almost frustrated beyond words, trying to contain his rage at the demons and humans standing guard. He was nearly trembling with the need to punch the smirk off of the human's face. At a touch on his arm, he looked down into Willow's worried eyes and managed to put a lid on his fury, as Willow went back to Oz to guard the children and Joyce.

"Yo, Jay, go see if Ms. Chase is around," one of the demon guards said and yawned.

"Heyyyyyy, why I hafta to go," Jay whined, "I always hafta to go inside. She gonna yell at me." He sulked, already imagining the tongue lashing he was going to receive from Ms. Chase, he just knew it!

He trudge sullenly into the hotel lobby, dodging around the various demons and humans. Asking this one if he/she/it had seen Ms. Cordelia Chase. He spent nearly 15 minutes chasing her down, finally finding her in an office with the Doyle, Angel's Seer. He waited politely for her attention, shuffling his feet nervously, cringing at the coming sharp lecture about coming to her with the pseudo Xanders, Willows and Oz's.

Finally, after she continued talking to Doyle ignoring him, he dared to interrupt her, "Uhm, Ms. Chase....uhm, ma'am. Ms. Chase ma'am,dere's some people out front says dey know ya."

Cordy heaved an impatient sigh, "Who is it," she snapped. She was so damn tired of pe coe coming to her with requests for assistance, who claimed to know her. After all this time, you would THINK they would know better than using her as their excuse to get in the Hyperion. They would have a better chance of claiming to know Buffy, she snorted to herself.

"Uhm, 'e said 'is name was Xander and de girl was Willow," Jay said and cringed. Sure enough she began ranting at him. How dare he disturb her, didn't he know better than to bother her about some stupid fucking people claiming to be her friends.

She finished, "Xander and Willow are dead. D. E. A. D. Dead as a doorknob. They are not alive, they're not even vampire dead. Do you understand NOW," she asked screeching sarcastically at the cringing man. Her breath heaving in rage, as the familiar pain and grief settled in her heart. Doyle put his arm around her, knowing that part of the pain and grief was guilt, guilt for not being their with them, for running away. Despite the fact that Xander forced her to leave, she still felt guilty. For being relatively happy, for being alive when they were dead.

"It's alright princess," Doyle whispered soothingly to her, his brogue bringing her comfort. Her eyes shimmered with incipient tears as she drew in a shuddering breath.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to him, hiding her face. "It's been years and every time I think I'm over their death, I think "Hey Xander would have like this", or "Willow would have blushed over this" and the pain hits me every time."

The guard's eyes widened at hearing her apologize, he couldn't wait to get back to his post! The guys'll never believe he heard Ms. Chase apologize AND she had tears in her eyes!

"Get rid of them," Doyle said curtly to the hovering guard.

"And de woman and kiddies, too," Jay asked, hoping for another reaction from Ms. Chase. He wanted to hug himself with glee for thinking of the woman and kids bit.

Cordy pulled herself from Doyle's arms and frowned, this was a new one, the fake Xander and Willow had never thought to bring kids.

"What woman and kids," she said sighing, knowing that Angel would probably have a fit if he found out that she had turned children away.

"Uhm 'e said...'e said dere names were," Jay screwed up his face trying to remember the names of the woman, "'er name was a season, I know dat," he said in frustration.

Cordy froze, it can't be, she shrieked silently! "Was her last name Winter," she asked casually, her body stiff against Doyle's who looked down in puzzlement before swiftly understanding. He stiffened slightly.

"No," Jay shook his head, why couldn't he remember. Arrrrgg, he cried mentally, nearly pulling out his hair.

"How about Winter, could it have been Spring," Cordy asked tensely.

"Dat's it," Jay cried happily, doing a little dance at finally remembering.

And Cordy sagged in disappointment, for a minute she had hoped that it was them.

"Mrs. Summers, dat's wha de man said 'is name was, Xander, Willow, Oz and Mrs. Summers," he said eagerly. Recoiling at the loud scream from Cordy, he fell back as she rushed past him, pushing him down as she raced down the stairs outside with Doyle racing grimly after her.

Seeing Xander, Willow and Oz slumping wearily on the ground she screamed, "XANDER, WILLOW, OZ!" Seeing the trio look up warily ,seeing her run to them frantically, tears of joy running down her face.

Xander braced himself, which was a good thing since she threw herself into his arms, sobbing. Feeling all the things that had originally drawn him to her when they were teenagers, he simply held her--rocking her in his arms