Change of Season

Disclaimer: see previous chapters

Change of Seasons, part 18

1

"Missed a spot," Buffy says, handing the dish back to Dawn.

It's been three days since Buffy and Dawn were suspended from school. They're in the kitchen, washing the dinner dishes. Because of the forced 'togetherness' of the last three days, nerves are a bit on edge.

"What?" Dawn looks at the plate Buffy handed back to her. "Where?"

"Right there, Helen Keller. If it were much bigger, you could use it as a parking spot…"

"That?" Dawn points out a tiny spot on the plate. "Geeze, anal much?" She quickly wipes off the offending spot.

"Don't really feel like having mom come in, look at the dishes and redo them. Already spent WAY too much time WAY too close to you."

"Trust me, Buffy. Being with you isn't exactly my idea of a good time, either."

"It's worlds better than being with you," Buffy complains, while drying a dish and putting it away. "watching paint peel is more fun than being with you."

"Believe me when I say, I want to be as far away from you as you wanna be from me. Maybe if you shut up, it'd go faster…"

"Maybe if you didn't move like a turtle, it'd go faster too. Hurry up!"

Buffy grabs the plate from Dawn's hands; she rinses it and starts to dry it.

"Hey, wasn't finished like that. I like them clean, unlike you. Gimme that back."

Dawn grabs the plate from Buffy's hands. Her hands being wet with soapy water doesn't improve her grip, and the plate slips out of her grip, and falls.

Be careful, dope!" Buffy looks at the shattered plate. "Now look what you did. There's a plate we'll never use again."

"Hey, not my fault! If you hadn't grabbed it away before I was done with it…"

"I'd like to get out of here before I'm ready to go to college, Dawn. God, you move slow…"

"That's not likely," Dawn says, bending over to pick up the pieces.

"What?" Buffy asks, confused by Dawn's leap of subject.

"You… going to college."

Bent over, her butt provides Buffy with the perfect target. Buffy takes her foot, and placing it on Dawn's derriere, shoves her.

"HEY!"

Dawn goes flying, her progress halted by the back door. She rises up, and turns on Buffy, face red.

"Oh, I'm sooo sick of you, Buffy," Dawn growls, rushing Buffy and shoving her against the refrigerator. The cup Buffy was drying goes flying, smashing against the door leading to the dining room. "I should so punch your lights out…" Dawn raises her fist.

"Try it, squirt," Buffy knees Dawn in the stomach. "You moron. You can't even fight right." Buffy starts towards her. "C'mon, Dawn, do it. Try to punch me!"

Dawn raises her fists, and at that moment the door to the dining room slams open.

"What's going on in here!"

Both girls freeze as Joyce, framed by the doorway, stares at them. Her face is grim, and her hands are on her hips.

"She started it!"

"I so did not, you little weasel!"

"I was washing the dishes and she starts grabbing the dishes out of my hands, saying I wasn't fast enough…."

"You're such a liar, Dawn…"

"Enough, both of you!" Joyce's voice cuts them off like a knife. "I asked you to do one simple thing, and you can't even do that! How hard is it to wash some dishes, anyway? I mean, without tearing each other's hair out?" She looks around, seeing the broken dishes. "You're both hopeless…" She shakes her head.

"But, mom, she…"

"Mom, I swear, she…"

"Be QUIET! BOTH OF YOU!" Joyce snaps, yelling at them.

The girls immediately subside, standing around looking sullen; glaring at each other.

Joyce looks at the mess in the kitchen, and sighs. "Just go, both of you…"

"But mom, we haven't…"

"I'll finish up here," Joyce says, her voice hardening. "Just go. Go to your rooms. Try NOT to argue on the way, ok? I might like at least half an hour of quiet… "

"Mom, we're sorry… we'll…"

"Just go, please? I can't take any more!"

"Good job, Dawn. Real nice, get mom mad at us again…"

"ME? What about you? I'm tired of your 'tude, sister dumbest. Why don't you…"

"STOP IT!" Joyce screams, the last thread of her patience snapping.

Dawn and Buffy look at her, wide eyed and a little scared. No matter how angry, their mom has never screamed at them before.

"Mom?" Dawn sounds a little frightened.

"Mom, what…?" Buffy also sounds somewhat scared.

"What is wrong with you two? I didn't raise you like this! Fighting like a couple of alley cats… over what? You're acting like 6 year olds. Both of you. Fighting in school… do you have any idea how much you embarrassed me? How I felt when I was dragged down there to retrieve you two from the office, because you couldn't act like adults? You're both nearly grown, and you're acting like children. How do you think that makes me look? How do you think that makes me feel?"

Buffy and Dawn just stand still, frozen; they're barely even breathing.

"Do you think it's easy? Every day I wake up, and it's hard to get out of bed. I don't know if someone's going to get into trouble today, if one of you is going to get hurt or worse. I go to work, wondering if the gallery will be successful enough to support us, keep us in clothes and food and shelter. I'm worried all the time, and things like this? They certainly don't help things…"

"What about dad?" Buffy speaks up. "If he moved back in, wouldn't it be easier…?"

"Yeah, mom, wouldn't it be good to have dad taking care of some of the stuff?" Dawn pipes up. "I mean, it was kinda better when he was here…"

"I'm sorry, girls. I know you want something else, but your dad and I just won't be getting back together. We just have to count on ourselves now."

Joyce looks into the worried faces of her daughters, and suddenly seems to come to herself. God, Joyce, what're you doing?

"Hey, look, guys, we're going to be ok, ok? I'm sorry, I guess I just… look, why don't you go upstairs and finish your homework or something? You have school tomorrow, and you should be getting ready for that."

"Mom, we're sorry…"

"We didn't mean…"

"Don't, please, ok?" Joyce puts on a smile, one she doesn't really feel. "I think maybe …everyone's just a little on edge. Don't worry about it. It's fine… I'll finish up here."

"Mom, we can…"

"No, I've got it. Go on now…" Joyce turns towards the sink, finishing the discussion.

Joyce hears the kitchen door open and close, and she walks over to the broom closet, planning on cleaning up the broken dish. She closes the door, and glances up. She's startled to see Buffy still standing by the dining room door, staring at her.

"Buffy?"

"Mom, I'm sorry…" Buffy begins.

"Hon, it's like I said. We're all just a little edgy. It'll be ok when things get back to normal around here." Whatever THAT is!

"No, mom," Buffy says quietly. "I mean I'm sorry about a lot of stuff I've been doing lately…"

"Buffy, don't. I know you're a good girl. It's been hard on everyone. I know what's been happening isn't easy, especially moving to a new place and new school, and starting all over. Particularly for you, because you're in your senior year, and growing up…" Joyce smiles, approaching her daughter. "You're almost an adult now, and sometimes I forget that…"

"Mom, couldn't we try again. As a family? I mean all of us?" Buffy rushes on, before Joyce can stop her. "I mean, wouldn't it be easier with dad here? You wouldn't have to worry about everything all by yourself, and things could be better, couldn't they?"

Joyce pauses a moment, looking at her daughter. If only it were that easy. Maybe I should just tell her the truth… but a little voice inside tells her she's not ready for that much yet.

"Honey, sometimes two people, after they've been together for a long time, change. It's part of life. Hopefully, they'll grow closer, but sometimes that just doesn't happen. Your father and I… we're just different now than when we got married. It's not just happening now… it's been happening for a long time. We've tried to make it work, but in the end, we've just changed too much… grown too far apart. Do you understand?"

"I guess so…" Buffy's tone says she doesn't really, however.

"It doesn't mean your dad's a bad man, nor that he loves you less. Just, together all we do is fight… we just don't have anything to build a marriage on anymore. But we both love you, very much. You and your sister, and that'll never change."

"But you said people change. Why can't you change back? Why can't it be like it was?"

"Buffy…"

"No, never mind. I don't want to hear it, and I don't want to fight," Buffy says, "I just don't see how you love someone, and then don't. Does that mean you might someday not love me, or Dawn?" She looks at her mother, and turns away. "No, I don't really want to know…"

"Buffy, that'll never happen! I swear…"

"Didn't you swear to love and honor dad, too? Like, forever?" Buffy frowns, and turns away. "Never mind, I'm just being stupid. Sorry…"

Before Joyce can stop her, she's out the door. Joyce follows her out, but Buffy's already on the stairs, rushing up to her room. Joyce hears the door slam closed.

That went… well, that really went badly, actually. Joyce goes over to the foyer, and looks up the stairs. I wonder if, she can't accept Hank and I splitting up, if she'll ever accept Faith and I…

Nice, Joyce, except did you forget? There IS no Faith and you. She left you, remember? Not that she didn't have reasons; I really messed that up good, too. The reality now is, there is no Faith and I. There might not be a Faith and I again, unless I can figure a way to make it right… and frankly, I just don't know how…

Sighing, she turns to return to the kitchen. Passing the front door, she pauses, then opens it and retrieves the mail out of the mailbox.

Well… usual… bill… bill… junk mail… gee, I can get my thighs thinner in only 3 weeks… bill… more junk… Ok, Ed, where's my letter for that Million dollars you keep promising me?… bill…

She pauses, and stares at an unexpected envelope.

UC Sunnydale? It's addressed to Faith… she must've given them this address… wonder what it's about?

She starts to tear it open and stops herself. OK, Joyce, not for you… still, it might be important… sighing, she walks into the dining room, laying the mail on the table. Well… this is tricky… I guess I'll have to call her to let her know… she feels her stomach tightening up… that's going to be fun… She picks up the letter again, and stares at it. God, why now? I really don't want to call her…

Joyce lets the letter drop back on the pile. I'll finish the dishes first… then I'll call her…

As she passes back into the kitchen, she feels a sudden relief. She's dodged a bullet, even if only for a little while.

2

Faith for her part, is sitting leaning on the bar at the Butterfly's heart, staring at her drink. Next to it, open, lies her cell phone. She looks back and forth from the drink to the phone, as if she can't decide which one to use.

"Maybe you should just call her…"

Faith looks up to see the bartender standing next to her, looking at her.

"What?" Faith reaches for her phone, pocketing it.

"You've been sitting there staring at your phone for an hour. Maybe you should just call her…"

"Maybe it's none of your business," Faith stares at her, then takes a long swallow of her drink.

"Maybe not," The bartender, a blonde woman in her thirties, agrees. "Still, you should call her." She starts to move down the bar, wiping it as she goes.

"Maybe she should call me." Faith shoots back, defiantly.

The bartender smiles to herself. "Maybe. But it doesn't look like that's happening, does it?" She moves back up the bar. "So, what? Did you have a fight?"

"How was this your business again?" Faith sighs. "Yeah, sorta… well, ok, yeah… I kind of walked out on her…"

"You walked, and you expect her to call?" The bartender looks surprised. "You're cute, honey, but you're not Venus, you know…"

"I didn't … it wasn't like that … look, she has a problem …no, wait, that's not exactly right… I have a problem with our relationship…see, thing is, she doesn't exactly want to commit… and well, I just wasn't willing to sit 'round, being the plaything, you know? I want more than that… I mean, I'm serious here, and well… she wasn't sure what she wanted, and… Ok, there were the kids…"

" The kids?" The bartender looks at her strangely. "You had kids?"

"Huh? No, her kids. She always saying she can't do nothing because of the kids. That they wouldn't get it. But I don't think that's it…"

"Well, they could be a factor…"

"They're nearly adults. They're not stupid… I'm sure if she put it right…"

"Adults or not, they might not accept it."

"Maybe not… but does it always have to be one or the other? I mean, does it have to be them or me? Couldn't we work something out with both?"

The bartender shrugs. "I don't know. I suppose you could…"

"Exactly! I know we could… but she wasn't willing to even TRY… and so… well, I walked. Told her to think about it, but not forever…"

"And now you're sorry?"

"No, not sorry… exactly… I mean, I couldn't just be the dirty little secret forever, could I?"

"No… that never works out," The bartender agrees.

"Exactly! I mean, I had to do it! Right? I couldn't just say 'Hey, take me seriously or I'm walking' and then not walk, right?"

"Sure," The bartender shrugs.

"So, I walked. And let me tell you, that wasn't easy…"

"Sure."

"… but I did it, because it was the right thing to do! I had to draw the line somewhere, right?"

"Right."

"But damn, I miss her," Faith whines a little, and takes another swallow. "I mean, c'mon, how long does it take to make up your mind? Does she expect me to wait around forever?"

"You're asking me?"

Faith shakes her head. "I even called an old friend… well, ok, an Ex, but we're friends, you know? And asked her. And she said that being new at it, she needed time…"

"Your friend?"

"No, my girlfriend. Keep up, ok? She's new and my ex-girlfriend said this is all new to her, and she might need time to sort it. But c'mon, we all started somewhere… how long did it take you?"

"Take me?" the bartender is growing confused.

"To come out? To figure out you were gay?"

"Excuse me, did I say I was gay?"

"You're not gay? You're working here, and you're not gay?"

"It's a job…" The bartender says, "and I didn't say that, anyway."

"Huh?"

"I didn't say I'm not gay. I just said, why would you assume it?"

"Are you trying to confuse me?"

"Are you?"

Faith stares at her.

"Your story is like a soap opera, girlfriend, and not a particularly well written one at that. Who calls their ex about a current girlfriend?"

"But we're still friends."

"Uh-huh… in your mind, anyway…" The bartender cocks her head. "Look, call her, or don't. But you're not going to get an answer unless you pursue it. Sitting here, staring at your phone? Great for my business, but not really helping yours. Get it?"

"So, I should call her then?"

"Not for me to say. That's up to you."

"Thanks… not!"

Faith's phone rings. She picks it up, and stares at it. Spooky!

"That her?"

"Yeah…" Faith stares at the phone.

"Well, are you going to answer it?"

"Dunno… dunno if I'm ready for this…"

The bartender shakes her head, and walks away.

3

Pick up! C'mon, Faith. Pick it up… what good is a cell phone if you're not going to answer it?

Joyce is in the living room, sitting on the couch. She has her own cell in her hand, listening.

"Hey…"

"Faith. Glad I got through…"

"… sorry, can't answer right now. Leave a message at the beep…"

Great, just great…

"Faith. This is Joyce. I'm sorry to bother you, but I got a letter for you that came here. It looks important, that's why I'm calling. So, if you could, give me a call back. Ok? You know the numbers."

Joyce closes her phone, and it's not until then that she realizes her hand is shaking. She also realizes suddenly, her breathing is shallower and her heart is beating a hole in her chest.

What's wrong with me? Why should this be so scary? I'm just calling her to tell her about some mail. It shouldn't be reason to fall apart, should it?

She leans back on the couch, closing her eyes. I love her. God, how I love her. Why can't I just admit that? Say it? Say I need her? Why is that so hard? Why do we have to do this? Why isn't she here? God, if she were, I bet it wouldn't be like it is. I know for a fact she could find out why Buffy and Dawn are fighting like they are. I know they'd tell her before good old mom, you know?

Sometimes I wonder what I'm good for, anyway? My daughters hate me, Faith has to loathe me, all I seem to do, no matter how I try, is drive people away from me. There has to be a point to my life, but so far, I'm coming up with zeroes here…

"Mom? You ok?"

Joyce, startled, opens her eyes to see Dawn standing in the doorway, staring at her.

She looks so tired, Dawn thinks, looking at her mom. So drained… did I… we do that to her?

"Hi, honey," Joyce forces a smile. "I'm fine. Just a little tired, I guess. Is there something you wanted?"

"No, well… yes, I wanted to see if you were ok. I… you were a little scary in the kitchen…" Dawn walks over to her mom. "I'm sorry, I really am. About earlier." She sits next to Joyce. "I… we didn't mean to worry you…"

"I really overreacted, didn't I?" Joyce says ruefully. "I'll admit, yelling at my daughters is not my favorite hobby. But I'm fine. I'm just resting a little before I clean up the kitchen."

"I can do that for you if you want…"

Joyce chuckles. "We already had that talk. Let's not do it again. I've got it."

"Ok…" Dawn hesitates, looking like she wants to say more.

"Was there something else?" Joyce of course picks it up with her mom-given ESP.

"Would you go postal if we talked about Dad?"

Joyce sighs, really not wanting to bring Hank into this. Or anything, for that matter. But he's Dawn's dad, and if she wants to talk about him, I guess we're talking.

"Am I that horrible a mom, you can't even mention your dad?" She smiles a genuine smile at her youngest. "It's ok, honey, we can talk about your dad if you want." She pats the sofa beside her. "Sit down, sweetie."

Dawn sits next to her mom.

"It's just that… I know you and dad are broke up again," Dawn continues, missing the humor, "and I know he gave you good reason to break up with him. But I think he really misses us… all of us… at least, that's what I got talking to him when he was here… and, isn't there someway you could … well, try to forgive him?"

Joyce sighs. Not Dawn too!

"I know, I know…" Dawn cuts in. "You hate him, but…"

"Honey, I don't hate your father…"

"Really?" Dawn looks surprised.

"No, I don't hate him," Joyce shakes her head. "Sure, he really knows how to get me angry sometimes. I guess that comes from living together all these years. But I don't hate him," She reaches out, putting her hand on Dawn's. "The problem is, I don't love him, either."

"Oh," Dawn speaks volumes with that 'oh'.

"Honey, when I married your dad, I loved him very much. He was a kind, sweet man with a wicked sense of humor and well… kind of hunky…"

"MOM! GROSS!"

Joyce laughs. "Honey, how do you think we got you and Buffy, anyway?"

"In Buffy's case? You found her in a shoebox somebody dumped in the dumpster!" Dawn makes a face. "That would explain her smell, anyway…"

"Dawn!"

"Kidding, really. Just sex, and you and dad? Or well, just sex and any parent? Kinda gross, mom."

"Well, anyway, getting back on topic, we were happy for a long while. And having you and Buffy? Wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. I love you both, you know that, right?"

"Aw, Mom!"

"I know, it's gross, your mom saying she loves you. Well, deal with it because I do."

Dawn rolls her eyes in the way only a teenage girl bearing the burden of a loving mom can.

"But sweetie, as time goes on, people change…"

"Is this the we grew apart speech mom? Cuz we did that…"

"Sometimes, Dawn, you're just a little too smart for your own good…" Joyce gives her daughter a look.

"I'm sorry, mom. Go on… you grew apart…"

"Never mind. The point is, Dawn, your dad and I, even if we got back together, wouldn't work. It's not that I don't love your father, I don't like him much, either. He's done some things lately…" Joyce gets a grim expression on her face. "Well, let's just say they didn't speak well for his character…"

"What?"

"Dawn, no. I think if you have questions like that, you'll have to talk to your dad about it…"

"How can I? He's not here…"

"Dawn, that's his choice…" Joyce's tone is slightly harsh. "I only threw him out of here because he hit me, Dawn. I can deal with it, but what if he decided to hit you or Buffy? I wasn't going to allow that to happen…"

"But, mom…!"

"I'm sorry, Dawn. But your and Buffy's safety and welfare come before anything…"

"Even Faith?"

"Yes, even Faith."

Dawn sits there, digesting that.

"Mom, I miss him. I really do…"

"I know you do, sweetie," Joyce puts her arm around Dawn's shoulders. "You both do. And, If you want to see him, and visa versa, well, I have no objections to it…"

"Huh? I thought…" Dawn looks genuinely surprised.

"I know," Joyce says wearily, "You and Buffy both think I want to keep him from you. I don't, honey. I just want to be in the know when you see him. I worry about you two, and I really like to know where you are…" Joyce smiles. "It's a mom thing."

"I still don't get it. It's ok if I see dad?"

"Yes. Dawn, I wouldn't keep you and your dad apart. There are a lot of things I don't like about your dad, but he's always been a good father, and I know he loves you and Buffy. So, what good would it do anyone to keep you from seeing him?"

"But you said Faith told you what I told her…"

"She did… and we discussed that, remember? You said yourself you didn't really think anything was going on…"

"Yeah…"

"You haven't changed your mind?"

"No…"

"Then I can't see why you can't see your dad," Joyce says quietly. "Partly, that's why Faith and I fought the last time. She thought…well, never mind that… thing is we disagreed… and well… you know the rest…"

"I can't believe she left," Dawn gets an angry tone in her voice. "Why did she leave? Why didn't you work it out?"

God, don't you think I don't ask that all the time? Joyce feels the unintentional arrow that was shot through her heart.

"Sometimes…" Joyce's voice trembles a bit, and she restarts. "Sometimes, it's complicated, Dawn. Sometimes it's not easy to just work it out."

"Well, when Buffy and I fight, you tell us to work it out."

"That's different, honey…"

"How?"

"You're sisters…"

"Not my choice…" Dawn mutters.

"Dawn!"

"No! I’m sorry, but she's a butthead!"

"Dawn Marie Summers!" Joyce glares at her. "That's just… I don't care what happens between you two, I don't want you saying things like that!"

"Well, she's always saying junk like that…"

"Well, you're both wrong, then!"

"I can't stand her!"

"Dawn…" Joyce sighs. "Hon, I know you and Buffy will fight. That's just part of being sisters. You, Buffy, me… we're family. We're going to disagree… but it shouldn't come to blows… I guess, it was just the two of you fighting at school, hitting each other. It was … well, it was scary for me. " She cringes a little. "We need to stick together…"

"It's just something she said. Something that really made me mad…"

"Dawn, I know sometimes your sister can be annoying…" God, she's gotten to me often enough,"… but that still doesn't excuse…"

"She said she was glad Faith was gone. She said she wished Faith had never lived here in the first place. That she was a nosy, interfering…"

"That's enough, Dawn." Joyce holds up her hand to stop the flow.

The fact that Buffy is happy Faith is gone pains Joyce. She seemed to be a good influence on Buffy. And Buffy seemed to like her… . It's important to her that the girls accept Faith… and now, finding this out just made things worse.

"That's not the worst, mom!" Dawn continues on. "She said Faith was just playing us. She was just pretending to care because she thought she found a cushy sitch, and was using us…"

"Dawn! I'm sure Buffy didn't say anything like that…"

"She DID mom, god, I'm not lying here… she said Faith was playing us…"

"You know that isn't true, Dawn."

"I know…" Dawn sounds slightly offended, "but it really pissed me off saying that…"

"Dawn, your sister is just having a rough time…"

"DON'T! Don't EVEN try to excuse her mom! God, she's the most selfish, ungrateful bitch I've ever met!"

"Dawn Summers! Don't you call your sister that! I don't care what she said, that's just wrong!"

"But she called Faith a bitch, and worse! How can you defend her…?"

"She's my daughter, Dawn. Like you. I might not like what she says or does sometimes, but I won't let anyone, even you, talk about her like that."

"But it's ok for her to trash mouth Faith like that? How's that right?"

"It's not, and I'll talk to her about it. I'm sure she was doing it to get to you, hon. She knows how you feel about Faith. She might never admit it, but I'll bet a little jealousy was mixed in there, too."

"What?"

"Dawn, Buffy's your older sister. Until recently, you've always kind of looked up to her. Now, your chummy with Faith, and maybe it irks her a little bit."

"Oh, c'mon, Mom. Buffy couldn't care less. She doesn't even like me very much…"

"She's your sister, Dawn. She might not show it much, she might even get on you about stuff, but she loves you, Dawnie. She cares about you."

"Not lately," Dawn waves her hand. "Lately it's been all about her and being a cheerleader and her life and don't bug me Dawn and go away, squirt, and I don't have time for you…"

"Sounds like someone is feeling a little left out…?"

"God, no! Who'd wants to be part of a team that's greatest accomplishment is counting to 10 and shaking their hips?"

Joyce has to smile. "I really think there's more to it that that, Dawn…"

"Really not caring, mom," Dawn shakes her head, "Frankly, not caring so much about her or her stupid life or her stupid cheerleading or anything. I know she's my sister, but she's been like … like… a total stranger, even before we moved here. Everyone dotes on her, and makes excuses for her, and the only one who actually seemed to pay attention to me … she says crap about. Well, sorry, mom, but I'm not putting up with that. I don't care what Buffy is. She can't talk trash like that about Faith…"

"Dawn…"

"NO, mom, just no! I'm sorry, but I really miss Faith. God, she'd always listen to me, even when she was busy and everything. She didn't treat my stuff like I was some kind of bother or kid or something. She really tried to … I miss her! Dammit, why doesn't she call? I really need to talk to her about stuff…"

"Honey, you can talk to me…"

"Mom, c'mon. Some stuff, you just can't talk to your mom about…" Dawn makes a face. "It's too… gross!"

Joyce isn't sure if she wants to laugh or be worried by that remark. Instead, she lets it pass.

"Dawn, I know you miss her. I miss her too," Joyce feels a large pain just thinking how much she misses the wild haired, crazy girl she's come to love so much. "I wish I could… I wish things were different… but we might just have to accept that…" Joyce feels herself trembling, and grips her hands to keep them from shaking. "Sweetie, sometimes thing just don't work out…"

"Don't work out? What're you saying, mom? You guys had a fight, but you'll work it out…" Dawn looks at her mom, worry plain on her face. "You love each other…"

"Loving someone isn't a cure all, Dawn," Joyce feels a chill in her heart. "Sometimes, it's not enough to fix what's wrong…"

"What… what's wrong, mom?" Dawn has a sudden sinking feeling. "What happened? You told me that you had a fight… that's why she left… can't you talk about it? I don't understand… when you love someone, you make it up…"

"I don't know, Dawn. Sometimes, some things you can't fix…" She looks at her daughter, feeling helpless. "Sometimes you just don't know how…"

"Mom, please… you gotta try, you can't give up…"

"Dawn, no matter what happens between me and Faith, she'll always care about you. I know for a fact she really likes you…"

"Don't!" Dawn looks at her, a little desperately. "Don't lie to me. She won't be around, she'll go away, and I'll never see her again and you'll be … and I can't … " Dawn stands up, suddenly, her face red. "You've got to fix this, mom. You can't… you can't just let her go!"

"Dawn, sweetie…"

"No! I'm tired of being the reasonable one. It doesn't get crap around here. I need her too, don't you get it?" Dawn stares at her mother, her anger rising. "I need her , too! You gotta promise to fix this! You gotta!"

Joyce stands, and puts her arms around her daughter. Dawn struggles against it at first, then leans in, wanting and needing the comfort. She looks up at her mom, her eyes wet.

"Please, mom, fix it. Please?"

Joyce pulls her daughter's head to her chest, and caresses her hair.

"I'll try, honey. I really will. I'll do my best."

4

"No, no, no, no, no! This can't be happening…"

Joyce stares at the door of her SUV, and frowns. Inside the truck, in the ignition, sit her keys. Her truck keys, and of course, her house key. Sitting on the seat, on the passenger seat is her purse. Her purse with her cell phone in it.

All this wouldn't be so tragic, except when she exited the SUV to get the briefcase she forgot inside the house, she pushed down the lock on her door… something she always does. It's a habit. Better safe than sorry, right?

Except today. This morning. Because now she was stuck, standing in her driveway, feeling like a total fool.

Truck locked, no way in it. House locked, no way to get the spare key. Cell phone in purse, on seat, in locked truck. No way to call anyone.

Well, I guess I'll try Mrs. Peterson. See if she's home. I can use her phone to call Triple A and get someone to unlock the trunk.

Except I'm going to miss an important client. I told him I'd meet him there this morning, and now…

Joyce shrugs, sighing. Well, considering how it's been going this morning, what did I expect?

It had started off so nicely. Until the grumpy twins, Buffy and Dawn, woke up. Then it was sniping and bickering, almost coming to blows over who got the shower first. Joyce had broken up the fight, and threatened to ground them until they were collecting social security if they didn't find a way to get along. Then she assigned who was to go first in the shower, with groans from one Grumpette, and snickering from the other.

Coming downstairs, she found the refrigerator had picked today to die. It was an older model, and the repairman had told her the last time he was out, to not even bother calling him on it again. It was living on borrowed time.

That time ran out sometime last night. The food wasn't spoiled, yet, but pretty much, it was going to be sometime today. At least, It's been a week since I was shopping, so maybe it won't be so much lost…

Joyce had just settled down at the dining room table with a cup of coffee when daughters put in an appearance.

"Hey mom," Buffy breezed through the dining room, heading for the kitchen. She came out carrying a bottle of water in one hand, and juice in the other. "Hey, the juice and water is kinda warm. Is the fridge busted again?" Buffy said in passing, heading for the front door.

"Hold on. Where are you going?"

"Gotta fly, mom…" Buffy paused at the front door.

Joyce was immediately suspicious. Buffy, going to school early? Did the world start turning around backwards this morning? "What about breakfast, Buffy? What's the rush?"

"Don't have time. Gotta see Cordelia before school…" Buffy disappeared through the front door. "… see ya later." The door slammed after her.

"Buffy!" Joyce sighed realizing it was too late to stop her.

"Hey, mom," Dawn started to walk towards the kitchen when Joyce stopped her. "What?"

"What about breakfast?"

"No time, mom. Want to meet Xander before school. I mean, it's been 3 days since I've seen him…"

"Uh, I think Mr. Xander Harris can wait for a couple of minutes while you have breakfast."

"Aw, mom!" Dawn complained, but she started towards the table. "Where's Buffy?"

"She … left." Joyce admitted. "She said something about meeting Cordelia…"

"Left? How come she gets to leave, and I gotta stay?" Dawn rocked back and forth on her feet. "It's not fair!"

"I know it's a burden to have to have breakfast with dear old mom, but somebody's got to do it."

"Mom, c'mon. That's not what I meant…" Dawn protested, still rocking a little. "it's just been three days since I saw Xander, and … well, I'm totally having boyfriend withdrawals…"

"Well, you've managed to avoid delirium tremens so far. I don't think another fifteen minutes are going to hurt."

"Mom!" Dawn grumbled. "I don't get to do nothing." She made her way to her seat, sitting down and crossing her arms peevishly.

Maybe it was the early morning bickering. Maybe it was the refrigerator picking today of all days to break down. Maybe it was a lack of sleep, thinking about Faith and not hearing from her. Something inside of Joyce snapped, however.

"You know what? Just go, Dawn. Never mind. If it's such a big chore to be here with me in the morning for breakfast, well, I don't want you here. Go to school."

Dawn immediately felt like a shit heel. "Aw, mom, that isn't what I meant. I'm …"

"I really don't want to hear it right now, ok? I've spent the last 3 days with you and Buffy, putting up with your moods and tempers. You've both been acting like brats; now neither of you can take the time to have breakfast with me. Well, fine. Just go. I'm tired, and I really don't feel like fighting. So, go."

Dawn felt her stomach tighten. "Mom, please, I'm…"

"Just go, ok? I'll see you tonight." Joyce holds up her hand, cutting off further discussion.

Dawn stood, all petulance drained from her. She looked at her mom, wide eyed, looking a little confused, scared and worried.

"Mom, please, don't be mad at me. I'm really sorry." Her voice caught, the knot in her stomach growing to softball size.

Joyce sighed, "I'm not mad, Dawn," She softens her tone. "I'm just tired. I'll see you tonight."

Dawn wavered a moment, then turned towards the doorway. She walked to the arch and turned back.

"Bye, mom…"

Joyce didn't answer, just waving her hand.

Dawn left quietly.

Joyce sat at the table, feeling washed out. She leaned her head on her hand.

Nice, Joyce, really nice. Pull the mom guilt card. That's Dawn, remember? The GOOD child? Did you have to be so harsh with her?

Well, you know what? It hurt, just a little. No, strike that. It hurt a lot. All I ask is for a little time at breakfast and dinner, you know? Just spend a little time with good old mom. You know, the one that's been keeping the roof over our heads, and paying the bills, and trying to keep things together. Trying to make this a family. Is it going to kill them, either of them, to give me an hour or so a day? After all I do for them? All I give up for them?

Oh, boo hoo, Joyce. Is that it? Are you trying to blame them for Faith? Is that the deal here? Face it, girl, Faith leaving had NOTHING to do with them. It had ALL to do with you not making her a part of your life. If you lost Faith, that's your fault, not theirs. Don't you blame them for your cowardice, Joyce. If you're looking for someone to blame, look in the mirror, girlfriend.

Joyce stood up, grabbing her cup.

Why didn't she call back? Why? Can't she give me another chance? One little chance?

Joyce headed for the kitchen.

Now she stands here, staring into her SUV, feeling more lost than ever. She feels her anger and frustration build, and she starts to pound on the roof of the car.

What's wrong with me? Can't I do anything right? Why does everything have to go to so wrong?

"Joyce?"

Joyce, startled, turns to see Faith standing at the edge of the driveway, staring at her. Her heart thumps crazily in her chest, and for a moment, black spots appear in front of her eyes. She's convinced she's going to collapse, and leans heavily on the car.

"Joyce, you ok?" Faith, looking both wary and concerned, approaches Joyce a little cautiously.

"No, I'm not ok," Joyce snaps, turning away from her. "Nothing's ok. Buffy and Dawn are at each other throats, and got suspended from school for three days for fighting. My stupid refrigerator decided to go out this morning, breakfast was a non event, both of them too busy to spend any time with dear old mom, and now I've locked my stupid keys in my stupid truck and I have to get a briefcase out of the house and I'm locked out of the house and my truck and my cell is locked in there and I'm going to be late for an appointment and my life is shit!"

Faith, a little overwhelmed, stands there, with her mouth a little open.

"Oh."

"What're you doing here, Faith? What do you want? Do you want to make me feel worse? I don't think I can feel worse, but what the hell? They way things are going today, maybe I can. Go on, take your best shot…" Joyce is not longer thinking rationally.

"I came because you said you had a letter for me?" Faith says quietly, calmly. "Maybe this is a bad time…?"

Faith's answer is like a cold bucket of water splashed on her. Her confusion and anger are gone instantly, replaced by embarrassment and just a little humility.

"I'm sorry, I forgot. That's right, I do have a letter for you…" Joyce looks at the house. "Unfortunately, it's inside, and I'm sort of locked out." She looks at her car, and can't help chuckling a little darkly. "From everything, it seems."

Faith looks at the SUV and shakes her head. "Can't help you with that…" then she nods at the house. "… but maybe I can…" she starts walking towards the house. " Got a spare set of keys?" She pauses, looking at Joyce.

"Yeah… on the key rack by the back door."

Faith nods, turns, and looking both ways, slips down the side yard.

Joyce stands there puzzled, watching her go. What the heck is she going to…?

It isn't too long before Faith reappears, and once again looking both ways, hurries up to Joyce. She holds up a set of keys.

"These it?" Faith hands her the keys.

"Yes!" Joyce takes the keys, and happily opens the SUV, retrieving her keys and purse. "But how did you get them? Did you…?"

Faith stands there for a moment, an unreadable expression on her face. Then she lifts her other hand, and dangling from a finger is another set of keys. Two keys, the house keys Joyce made for her when she moved in.

Joyce feels the flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck.

"Oh."

"What did you think, Joy? That I added burglary to my résumé?" Faith's arch tone has a slight edginess to it.

"No, I… I… I forgot about those…" Joyce's embarrassment increases exponentially.

"Here," She holds out the keys. "You better take them before you forget 'em again."

"No, you keep those…" Joyce waves at her, looking away.

"I don't live here anymore, Joyce."

Something in Faith's tone makes Joyce look up at her. She sees the tight cast to Faith's lips, and the large hurt in her eyes. Her heart feels as if it's being crushed.

"Take them, Joy," Faith says softly, waggling the keys.

Joyce reaches out, taking the keys. Her fingers briefly brush against Faiths, and their eyes briefly lock. Then both look away, embarrassed at what might've been revealed.

An awkward silence drops between them like a stone wall, and both stand there uncomfortably, not knowing what to say or do.

"What about that letter?" Faith finally says, voice tight.

"Right. I'll get that now…" Joyce's tone is equally restrained. She walks towards the house, stops and turns back. "You look good, Faith." She says briefly, then is up the steps and through the door.

Faith stands there, biting her lip to keep from crying right there. She can feel the hot tears threatening behind her eyes. Not NOW, stupid! NOT NOW! She digs her nails into her palms.

Joyce reappears at the doorway, and pauses briefly, looking at Faith. Even from here she can see Faith's confusion and feel Faith's sense of being lost. A sudden, almost overwhelming urge to run down the stairs, sweep Faith into her arms and kiss her passionately sweeps over her.

Why don't you? WHY DON'T YOU? She'd probably like that. LOVE that. Prove to her that you're really serious here… Do it! Go on, DO IT!

Joyce walks down the steps, and carrying the envelope, approaches Faith cautiously.

"Here's that letter…" She holds out the envelope, almost using it to keep some distance between them. "It was from the University. I thought it might be important…"

"Thanks," Faith says, putting her hand on the proffered envelope. Again there's a moment of eye contact, quickly broken.

Faith stands uneasily, staring at the envelope.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Joyce asks, breaking her reverie," it might be important."

"Doubt it," Faith replies, turning the envelope and slipping her finger along the flap. Pulling out the contents, she starts to read it.

Joyce stands watching Faith, trying to cue any reaction from her. But her demeanor, except for a slight widening of her eyes, doesn't change.

"What does it say?" Joyce finally asks, feeling impatient and anxious.

Faith just looks up, her eyes reflecting puzzlement. She hands the letter to Joyce.

Office of Admissions

University of California

2750 University drive

Sunnydale, California.

Dear Ms. McKerrigan:

I am writing to inform you about a change in your student status at the university.

The board of regents has reviewed your recent disciplinary action. After receiving new information previously unavailable, the board has decided to reverse the previous ruling and has reinstated you with full privileges, expunging your record of any disciplinary action.

As of September 27th, you are a student in good standing. We hope you will return to campus, and will contact this office if your require any assistance.

If you have any questions, please contact me at 769-555-2233

Cordially,

Dr. Joan Landis

Dean of Admissions

University of California at Sunnydale

Ps. Faith, I just wanted to add that I'm very pleased at the results of the Regent's review. I felt you got a very raw deal concerning this whole affair, and finally you've gotten some justice. I've contacted you're professors, and arranged for you to be able to make up the course work to this point, without prejudice. I've also arranged for a tutor, at the University's expense, if you so need. If there's anything more I can do for you, please, don't hesitate to contact me…. Joan Landis.

Joyce looks up at Faith, smiling. " This is great news…"

She feels the smile die on her lips as she looks at Faith's closed up expression.

"…isn't this good news?" She finishes up, unable to read the younger woman's mood.

"Yeah, sure," Faith agrees, not exactly doing cartwheels. "I suppose it's great that they finally figured out what I already knew… that I didn't do anything wrong." Her nostrils flare a little. "Too bad they couldn’t have figured that out in the first place…"

Joyce starts to interrupt, but Faith stops her.

"…that woulda been good. Right now, not even sure if I wanna go back there."

"Faith…"

"Not even sure what I wanna do yet," Faith, feeling tense, moves away. "After what's happened, maybe I need a change…" she faces Joyce. "I dunno, gotta think about stuff…" she turns, facing the street.

Joyce realizes that she has to think about what she says next. Faith seems disconnected, somehow, and pushing her might push her away… forever.

"Faith…" Joyce comes up behind her, "whatever you decide to do, I know you're going to do well. Your smart, your talented, and you've got the drive to do it…"

"Uh huh," Faith seems distracted, far away.

"Back in Boston, you were taking classes to improve your life. That's a good thing… shows you have direction, you want more for yourself."

"Hmmm…yeah, who doesn't?" She still faces away from Joyce.

"This is a good opportunity for you. You can do a lot here, whatever you want to do. If you want to pursue your art, they have a good program for it…" Faith seems to shrug, and Joyce continues."… or whatever you want to do… they have a lot to offer. You've worked hard to get here; you deserve this chance."

"Maybe… yeah, maybe I do… but like I said, I gotta think about stuff…"

"I know. I'm just saying, don't let whatever's between us affect your decision…" Almost as soon as the words clear her lips, she knows she's said the wrong thing. She sees Faith's body stiffen.

"What is between us, Joyce?" Faith turns around, looking straight into Joyce's eyes. "I dunno… that's part of what I gotta think about… and you too. I can't put my life in little boxes… this part here, that part there… it's all in one big box to me, and everything kinda overlaps and mixes together, you know?"

Joyce feels almost trapped in her deep, dark eyes. She sees a cold fire burning there.

"So, I gotta figure out everything, sorta, so I can do what I gotta do…" She breaks the stare, and looks away. "First thing is, where I wanna be… then I'll decide about the rest. " She turns away, starting down the street. "I'll seeya Joyce."

"Faith! Wait!" Joyce runs after her, catching up to her. "Do you need a ride? I don't see your bike…"

"I parked it at the mini-mart at the corner," Faith points down the street. "I really gotta go."

She walks around Joyce, heading for the corner.

"Faith! Please, at least, will you tell me what you decide?" Joyce calls out.

"Kinda have to, don't I?"

Joyce looks puzzled.

"Like it or not, you're part of that big box, Joy." For the first time, she smiles. A small, wistful smile. "A big part." Sighing, she turns away.

Joyce watches her go until she disappears around the corner. Turning back towards her house, she has to wonder if Faith hasn't already told her.

Sighing, she moves up the walkway to her front door.

5

Buffy stares at the apple in her hand, turning it over and over.

Eat you or save you? She wondered to herself, staring at the red round fruit. At the moment, she was leaning towards save.

She wasn't feeling particularly hungry. Dejection had that affect on her appetite.

It wasn't anything that anyone said or did. More, it was the stuff between the lines that got to her.

The good news? She was still on the squad. Though that had taken a little fast talking on her part.

"I told you when you joined up, Buffy. I really want to win the state championships this year, " Cordelia had said this morning. "You being out for three days really messed things up a little. We worked out a whole new routine, and you weren't around to learn it. This really isn't fair to the others…"

"I know, and I'm sorry. I really am," Buffy humbled herself to Cordelia. "It's that stupid sister of mine. She started that fight that got me suspended. I didn't want to fight her, but she …hit me! I couldn't just stand there and let her hit me, could I?"

"No, I suppose not," Cordelia admits, grudgingly. "Still, didn't I warn you about her? She's nothing but trouble…"

"Trust me, I know. I have to live with the squirt." Buffy makes a martyr's face. "It's hell, believe me."

"Why do you call her squirt? I mean, she's taller than you are, Buffy."

Buffy saw an opportunity, and took it.

"Believe me, it has nothing to do with how tall she is…" She waves Cordelia closer. She leans in, and whispers something into Cordelia's ear.

Cordelia's eyes went wide, and she burst out laughing.

"Oh my god! You're joking, right?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nuh-uh."

"But how do you know?"

Buffy made a face. "Eeew, not like by first hand or nothing," She shuddered. "She told me… she was worried it was weird." Buffy giggled. "Well, duh! But consider the source."

Both snicker a little.

"Well, I don't think we have to cut you…"

"Thanks, Cordelia. Really," Buffy is almost pathetic in her gratitude. "I promise, I'll catch up and I'll work really, really hard!"

"Oh, you bet you will. You have a whole new routine to learn, and frankly I don't have time to stop the squad in practice to teach you… hmmm… dilemma. What should I do?" Cordelia pretended to think about it.

"Couldn't one of the other girls show me? I know I'll pick it right up…"

"It's a pretty complicated routine. Took some time to teach the girls that actually showed up for practice…" Cordelia shakes her head. "and frankly, I can't spare one of the regulars to teach you…"

"There has to be somebody who can show me. I know I can do it, Cordelia, if you'll just give me the chance."

"Now that I think of it, there is somebody I can spare. I mean, she knows the routine almost as well as I do…"

"Great!"

"I'm sure Harmony will be happy to put you through the paces," Cordelia drops the bomb.

Buffy shuts her eyes, as if in pain. What as if? She IS in pain.

"Harmony?"

"I'm afraid so, Buff," Cordelia was full of false sympathy. "I know you've had your problems in the past, but she's the only one I can spare …" Cordelia shrugged "It's your choice."

The implication was clear.

"Uhhh… sure, that sounds great. Harmony… I'm sure we'll get along just fine." Buffy plastered on a smile she certainly didn't feel.

"I hope so. I don't want to hear of any more fighting," Cordelia can barely keep back a chortle. "So, I expect you to do whatever Harmony tells you to do, without question."

"Sure, of course!" Buffy said brightly, as she felt her stomach slowly sink to her knees.

"So, you better get a move on, don't you think? You don't want to be late for class, and get in more trouble, do you?"

"No, no, I'm off… thanks, Cordelia, I really appreciate it…" She starts off, then comes back. "By the way, that thing I told you about Dawn? It's just between you and me, ok?"

"Sure, sure, Buff. No problem." Cordelia smiles. "Now, scoot. Don't want to give Snyder any more reasons to suspend you, do you?"

"I'm gone." Buffy said.

And she was.

Cordelia watched her go, appreciating the nice sway to her butt as she disappeared down the hall. Sucking on the tip of her pinkie, she nodded.

Oh man, this is going to be almost too much fun.

Chuckling to herself, she made her way to class.

Things didn’t improve for her as the day went on. The initial lukewarm reception took a decidedly cooler turn.

Those members of the squad who couldn't outright ignore her by pretending they didn't hear her, were decidedly brief in any conversation they had with her. Most acted as if she had something catching; something they definitely didn't want to catch. Finally, after a couple of classes, she avoided them as much as they avoided her.

The creepiest part was the way Harmony kept looking at her. I swear, she looks like a hyena checking out a piece of meat, Buffy thought, as she turned around and again saw Harmony staring at her. Smiling at her. She swore she was almost salivating at her. Along with the rejection, by lunch time Buffy had a case of the wiggins.

Lunchtime, however, was the worst.

Buffy carried her tray towards the cheerleader's table, still feeling a little wary. However, halfway there she heard them burst out in a gale of giggles, and that help set her heart a little more at ease. Sounds normal enough… I guess I'm just being paranoid or something…. Weaving through the crowd, she sets her tray down just in time to catch the last part of the latest gossip.

"… I swear it's true. Every time she gets all excited. Gross, huh?" Harmony said, the others listening intently.

Another wave of laughter burst out, and Buffy smiled, wondering what they're talking about.

"Her sister even gave her a nickname for it. But you don't have to believe me. Ask Buffy…" Harmony turned towards Buffy, smiling broadly. "What's the nickname you gave your sister again?"

Buffy almost dropped her tray. As she felt the flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck, she turned to look at Cordelia. She was seated next to harmony, cool as a cucumber.

"C'mon, Buffy," Harmony chirps merrily. "What did you call her again?"

Everyone at the cheerleading table, and some at the Jock's table next to it, was staring at her. Buffy trembled with humiliation mixed with anger and a feeling of betrayal.

"You… you promised…" Buffy stammered, in a voice just loud enough to be heard. "You said you wouldn't tell anyone…"

Cordelia shrugged casually. "It's too good to keep secret, Buff. I just had to share it with the squad…" Her eyes narrowed as she smirked at Buffy. "If you wanted to keep it secret, you shouldn't have told anyone."

"I trusted you…" Buffy's voice was trembling. She backs away from the table. "Why? Why're you doing this to me?"

"Why're you doing this to me?" Cordelia mocks her, "maybe you'll think twice about spreading lies about people".

"W-W-What're you talking about?" Buffy along with being humiliated, is confused.

"Wa Wa Wa!" Cordelia mocks her. "God, I guess dumb blonde really fits in your case, huh? Or maybe lying bitch fits. Whatever. Why don't you just be elsewhere, Buffy? We don't need any lying losers at this table." Cordelia sneers, " and don't be late for practice again, or I'll kick your ass off the squad, too. You aren't that good, Blondie! Only reason I'm keeping you on cuz my girl Harm here thinks you've got potential. Frankly, I think she's a softie, but hey… she's looking forward to working with you. So, get your ass there on time or you're so gone, got it?"

For one infinitesimal moment, Buffy wants to take her tray and throw it at Cordelia's head. Wipe that sneer off her face with a tray of food.

But she realizes, this is all she has left. The satisfaction of seeing Cordelia Chase covered in Mystery Meat would last only a brief moment. The resulting humiliation would last the rest of the year. She was stuck right were she was, and it was her own fault.

All that passed through her mind in less than a second, and she nodded at Cordelia, acknowledging her command over her. She backed away from the table, and then went in search of a place to sit.

So here she sits, contemplating her apple. The rest of her lunch sits on her tray, untouched. Even the apple seems to be too much to contemplate, yet she knows she best eat something. Somehow, she just knew practice was going to be grueling.

Maybe I should just skip it. Let her boot me off the team. Sure, and then what? What else have I got? No, I worked my ass off to get on the squad. I'll be damned if I let give up now. I don't care what that bottle blonde bitch tries on me. I'll just work harder. Won't let them kick me off! I won't!

"Hey."

Buffy looks up, a little startled. She sees a boy about her age standing by her table, smiling down at her.

This guy is definitely not the typical "Buffy" type. First of all, he was short. Very short. He wasn't much taller than she was. Secondly, he definitely wasn't a jock. Not with the spiky blondish hair that looks like it defies combing, Buffy thought, looking him over. Never mind he's dressed like a grunge band, and wears an earring. That's so last month! Though, he is muscular enough… if he didn't hide it under the loose shirts. But a jock? No way! what, are they going to use him as the ball?

And he has a strange, almost wolfish grin. Strange, yet weirdly appealing at the same time.

And why does he look familiar, somehow? Buffy shakes her head.

All in all, not the type Buffy would normally give a second glance to.

"Hey," Buffy replies," you want something?"

The boy shrugged. "Not really. Just, saw you sitting here by yourself…"

"… and you thought you'd come over and scam on me? Don't think so…"

"Actually… I just wanted a place to sit down. The place is full."

Buffy looks around, and realizes he's not making it up. The cafeteria is indeed, full.

"Oh. Ok, well, I guess you can sit down…"

"Thanks," the boy says, putting down his tray, and following it down.

"but just because I'm letting you sit here doesn't mean we're talking or anything. Or even that I acknowledge your existence. Got it?"

"Cool," the guy said, picking up his fork and starting in on his lunch.

"Good, just so we got that cleared up," Buffy says, turning back to her apple.

She sits there for awhile, staring at her apple, and more than a little puzzled. She glances up, and notices the young man sitting across from her seems to have absolutely no interest in her; rather, he seems to be concentrating solely on his tray.

Ok, what's his deal, anyway? What kind of freak sits at a table with a, if I must say so myself, pretty girl, and totally ignores her for food? Is he like, gay? Is that what I've come down to now? Only the gay guys will be sitting with me? Man, this blows. And , why does he look so familiar to me?

"Hey?"

The boy looks up, questioningly.

"you got a name?"

The boy nods, and goes back to eating.

God, rude much?

"Excuse me?"

He looks up again.

"What's your name?"

He finishes chewing, swallows and then puts down his fork.

"Sorry, thought you didn't want to talk. Oz."

"Huh?"

"Oz."

"What's Oz?"

"My name."

"Your name? You're called Oz? As in Wizard of…?"

"More like the HBO series… " he grins. "Sorry. Actually, it's short for Osborne. Daniel. That's me. But my friends call me Oz"

"Oh," Buffy nods. After a pause. "I'm not your friend."

"True enough," He agrees. He returns to his lunch.

What is so fascinating about that tray? I mean, I've eaten the food here. It's pretty boring.

"Why do you look familiar?"

Oz looks up. "Do I?"

"You do. Where have I seen you?"

"I dunno…" Oz replies, returning to his lunch. "Around?" He starts in on another bite of food.

"Excuse me, but when I'm talking to you, is it too much to ask you to be civil and pay attention? I really hate to compete with the Jell-O mold when I'm trying to talk to someone."

Oz looks at her quizzically, then shrugs and puts down his fork. He pushes his tray to the side.

"Sorry."

"That's better. Now, why do you look familiar to me?"

"How come you're not eating your lunch?" Oz asks.

"Excuse me, how does my not eating the …" She looks at her lunch. "… tuna surprise have anything to do with what we're talking about?" She pushes her tray a little further away. "I'm not hungry, is all."

"Oh," Oz nods. "What were we talking about?"

"You. Why you look familiar to me!"

"Oh, right." He shrugs. "I dunno. Maybe we have a class together?"

"No, that's not it. I mean, don't take this personally, but you're not the kind of guy I'd notice if we had a class together. No offense."

"None taken," Oz says agreeably. "Do you go to the Bronze much?"

"No. I mean, yes, I go to the Bronze, where else is there in this little blob on the map? But again, I wouldn't notice you in a crowd…" She smiles apologetically. "Sorry."

"No, that's cool," Again Oz is unflappable. "Maybe you saw me onstage there?"

"Huh?"

"Sometimes I… well, me and my band… play there."

"Your in a band?" Buffy asks, a little amazed.

"Didn't I just say that?"

"Yes, you did, actually," Buffy can't help smiling, just a little. "Sorry, so, what band?"

"That's better."

"Huh?"

"You smiled. You've been kinda making with the dire."

Buffy blushes, and she doesn't know why.

"Sorry, kinda been dire today…"

"Oh? Why?"

"Uhhh… not wanting to talk about it, ok? More interested in what band you're with."

"Dingoes"

"Huh?" God, rude or what? "I'm not a dingo…"

"What?" Oz nods. "Sorry, no, my band. The Dingoes. Actually, Dingoes ate my baby."

Buffy's eyes widen. "That 'Dingoes'? Oh my god, my friend is such a fan of yours!"

"We have a fan?" Oz looks surprised and amused. "Wow, that's new."

"No, really, she thinks you guys are great. That's how I know about you. She dragged me to one of your gigs …"

Oz arches a brow.

"Well, ok, not dragged, but you know what I mean. Anyway, you guys are pretty good."

"There are a lot of people who'd argue with you about that… but at least we're not tripping over our amp cords anymore…"

"Well, my friend isn't one of them. She thinks you guys are the best thing since Stone Temple Pilots."

"Actually, we're more influenced by… never mind. It's just pretty cool having a fan… well, fans I guess if we count you. Gotta tell the guys. I don't think we've had fans before." He thinks about that.

"Oh, c'mon. You guys play pretty good. You gotta have lots of fans…"

"No, not really…" Oz shakes his head. "Well, except maybe Devon. The girls seem to like him, a lot."

"Which one is Devon?"

"The lead singer?"

"Really? The girls like him?" Buffy makes a face. "I dunno, I think he's kind of full of himself, actually."

A small grin plays on Oz's rather unemotional face. "Yeah, that's true enough. Still, it works for him."

"Frankly, it's kind of gets old, you know?"

"Really? Hmmm…" Oz pauses. "So, who do you like?"

Buffy is suddenly flustered. Again, not knowing why.

"Like? I dunno… I just kind of like the whole band, actually."

"Really?" Straight faced. "Kinky."

"What?" Buffy blushes, "Not like that. Geeze."

Oz chuckles dryly. " Sorry. So, who's the mystery fan?"

"Huh?"

"You said your friend was a fan, too?"

"Oh, right… wait…" Buffy looks around, and spotting Willow, points. "There she is. Wait, I'll get her, and let her gush for herself…"

Oz turns to look where Buffy's pointing, then smiles. "No, that's ok. I know her."

"You do?"

"Yeah, Willow and I go back, way back. To playgroup, I think."

"Geeze does everyone in this town know everyone else?"

"Pretty much. Not a lot of town to know, you know?" Oz shrugs. "Anyway, Willow has always been like, a fan. We kind of don't count her" He leans in towards Buffy. "We think she might be tone deaf."

"That is so not true, Daniel Osborne, and you know it."

While they've been talking, Willow has come up on them. She stands behind Oz.

"So, how's it going, Oz?" Willow ruffles his already unruly hair. "Whatcha up to?"

Oz looks at Buffy with a 'see what I mean' look.

"Hey, Willow," Buffy says, smiling.

"Oh, hi, Buffy," Willow's tone seems a little distant.

Buffy, already hypersensitive, picks up on it immediately. Oh god, now what? What did I do to her?

"Hey, Will… we're playing the Bronze Saturday night. You coming?"

"Would I miss the Dingoes?"

"Well, if you had a hot date, you might."

"Maybe. But more likely, I'd drag her along with."

"Oh, right…" He looks at Buffy suddenly, and his eyes widen a little. "Oh… so, are you two like… dating?"

"WHAT?"

"No!" Buffy protests. "I mean, I'm not into girls. I mean, if I was, then maybe yeah, but I'm not." Buffy is suddenly doubly flustered. Oh, that'd be just great. Never mind the Cheerleaders hate me. If they thought I was a lesbian too…

"Oz," Willow shakes her head, smiling. "Where'd you get the idea that Buffy and I were … dating?"

"Oh, well. She said you dragged her to one of our gigs, and well, you just said you'd drag your girlfriend to my gig, so …"

"I see why you failed Elements of Logic now. Faulty reasoning, Oz. Just because I have a friend that happens to be a girl, that doesn't make her my girlfriend. I'm not attracted to EVERY girl I meet."

Huh? What? She's not attracted to me? What's wrong with me? I'm pretty…

"Anyway, Buffy's straight, and I don't date straight girls. It's…" She suddenly trails off, looking pained. "let's just say it never really works out well…" She gives Buffy a strange look.

What? Do I have a third eye now? What's going on here?

"What?" Buffy feels a definite tension off of Willow.

"What, what?" Willow retorts. "Look, I gotta motor. See you Saturday night, Oz."

"Wait, what's going on?" Buffy speaks up, "What's the deal? Why're you so…?"

"Why am I so what, Buffy?" Willow stares at her. "Gay? I was born this way. Why're you a homophobe?"

"What?" Buffy sounds a little offended. "What're you talking about?"

"Oh, c'mon, Buffy. Remember the night I told you I was gay? You nearly crapped yourself, and almost ran me over trying to get away from me."

"That's so not true!" Buffy protests. "You took me by surprise. I was surprised, but I …"

"You thought I was gonna throw you down on the floor and take you right there," Willow says with a bitter edge in her voice. "I just thought I should be upfront with you, and you acted…" Willow rolls her eyes.

"Hey! How fair is that? If I just blurted out I was gay, and you weren't, how'd YOU react to that?"

"Not like you were gonna force yourself on me."

"God, what's your trauma? What did I do? Why're you acting like this?"

Willow looks at her, really stares at her. Buffy feels her un-comfort level rise significantly.

"You really don't know, do you?"

"Well, duh! I wouldn't have asked if I did!"

Willow shakes her head in disbelief. "God, how can you be so clueless? Didn't you wonder why Cordelia's treating you the way she's treating you?"

"How do you know how Cordelia's treating me?"

"God, Buffy, half the cafeteria knows! We all saw the drama at the cheerleader table…" Willow's frown deepens. "Oh, and I'd really try to avoid Dawn for awhile. She's really, really angry at you."

Buffy gulps, and blushes deeply.

"You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?" Willow says, shaking her head and sighing. "I don't get you, Buffy. I thought we were friends. I really did… guess I was wrong…"

"What did I do? Why is everyone so mad at me?"

"Think, Buffy. THINK!" Willow stares at her, and after awhile, she realizes Buffy still isn't getting it. "It's like talking to a stone. It just won't sink in. Frankly, I don't have the time or breath to waste. Do me a favor, ok? Just stay away from me for awhile? Like, until after your collecting social security. Ok?"

Willow turns on her heel and strides off quickly. Buffy just sits there, stunned.

"What is her problem?"

"You really don't know, do you?"

"No, I really don't! I didn't DO anything to her!"

"Buffy, remember the fight you had with your sister…?"

"Uh, yeah. I was suspended for three days over it."

"Remember how, during that fight, you kind of blabbed to Willow about her and Cordelia making out in the girls room?"

"What? I never…"

The Buffy stops dead. A cold sinking feeling comes to her stomach when she remembers the fight, and the aftermath.

"Oh… god…"

"Yeah, well, thing is? It kind of wasn't just heard by you and her. It kind of got out all over school. And Cordelia? She really wasn't at all pleased by it. Not one bit."

"What… what happened?"

"While you and Dawn were cooling your heels at home, Cordelia had a little run in with Willow. Well, actually, she had her guard dog, Harmony, start it, but she finished it up real good. Cordelia pretty much called her every nasty name she could think of, and threatened to ruin her parents by suing them into the poorhouse. Thing was? Willow didn't fight back. She just stood there, taking it from Cordelia, Harmony and the rest of the squad…" Oz shakes his head. "Even the ones she actually dated before. She never said a word in her defense; she just took it, then slunk off after. She was totally humiliated."

"I… I never meant for that to happen…"

"She knows that Buffy. She knows you were just lashing out at her because she got between you and Dawn. That doesn't make it better for her. Seems some others got the bright idea to … oh, trash her locker, and write "DYKE" in big bold letters on it. More than one called her a pervert, and said she should be kicked out of school. She's been taking it, and taking it, and not complaining about it. But she's reached her breaking point, I think…"

"She hates me, doesn't she?" Buffy whispers. "God, I deserve to be hated…"

"She doesn't hate you, Buffy. But she doesn't like you very much right now. You not only cost her that, but …well, Xander …"

"What about Xander?"

"She and Xander are kind of on the outs right now. You see, there's a history between Willow and Cordelia… this isn't the first time Cordelia's hurt her…" Oz very briefly explains about the night at Cordelia's party, and what happened. "… it took a long time for her to get over that… a long time. Xander stuck with her through it all, and it hurt him a lot, to see her hurting like that. When he found out she was seeing Cordelia again, he pretty much washed his hands of her… said if she was stupid enough to … anyway, they haven't spoken since… and she's had to go through this whole thing pretty much by herself…"

"What about you? Aren't you her friend?"

"I was away with the band, Buffy. I didn't get back until last night. I only found out then…"

She looks at Oz, and it hits her.

"You knew. You knew who I was before you sat down, didn't you?"

Oz nods.

"And you knew what I'd done to Willow, and you still … why?" Buffy's tone gets an edge. "Don't you hate me, too? Everyone else does…"

"You're still not getting it. Willow doesn't hate you. She asked me to come over, because she saw what happened to you. She was worried about you… thought you might need someone to talk to…" Oz again almost smiles. "So, do you?"

Buffy sits slumped in her chair, not really looking at him.

"I'm pretty much a shit heel, aren't I? A total bitch." She stares at the table. "Pretty useless, right?"

"No, I don't think so. Selfish, yeah. Thoughtless, pretty much. Self involved? Definitely. But none of those are fatal; you can probably get over it."

"Was that supposed to make me feel better? It didn't work."

"No, not really."

"Good, I don't deserve to feel better," Buffy mutters. She looks up at him, and smiles ruefully. "You better scoot. Probably don't want to be seen with me."

"You don't like me?"

"No, I do, actually. Trying to save your reputation, is all. Unless you don't want to be liked around here."

Oz shrugs. "I pretty much hang out with whoever I want. Never really cared what other people thought of me, one way or another."

Buffy looks at him like he just landed from another universe. "How do you do that?"

"Practice. Lots and lots of practice," he grins. "Maybe if I'd practiced as much on my guitar, I'd be better at it."

Again, Buffy can't restrain the smile. "You're a goof, you know?"

"I guess."

"Look, thanks for everything, but you better go, you know? I'll be ok."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." That's a lie. Buffy is three counties over from sure.

"Ok," Oz gets up, picking up his tray. "But just a tip. You might not want to throw away friends too easily. You don't have that many left, you know?"

He turns, and starts to walk away.

Buffy suddenly finds herself very, very much alone.

"Wait! Oz!"

Oz stops and turns back around.

"Uhhh… walk me to class?"

"Sure."

Buffy picks up her tray, and hurries to catch up with him.

6

"Yes, dear. I've got it," Chief Romero says patiently into the phone. "Yes, I wrote it down."

He sighs to himself, smiling. You'd think after 25 years of marriage, Maria would trust me enough now to pick up some stuff from the store without a 3rd degree. Yikes!

"Yes, I'm pretty sure I'll be home on time. Things are pretty quiet around here. Mmmm hmmm…" He says, listening as his wife reels off some more instructions. "Yes, positive. I promise. Yes… no…"

He glances up when he hears a soft knock at the door. Thank god! I love Maria, but sometimes…

"Honey, I have to go. Someone's at my door. Yes. I love you too. Yes… goodbye…" the Chief listens, a broad smile coming over his face. "No, chica, I love you more… yes… goodbye…" He hangs up the phone.

He smiles at the phone for a moment, and then the knock is repeated.

"Come in."

The door opens, and Faith McKerrigan enters the room, looking a little nervous. She walks over to the chief's desk, and stands, clasping her hands in front of herself.

It takes a few seconds for the chief to put a name to the face, but then he smiles.

"Ms. McKerrigan. It's good to see you again. How are you?" The chief stands, offering his hand.

Faith takes it, and grasps it firmly, returning the greeting.

"Doin' ok, Chief," Faith smiles, immediately feeling some of her nervousness dissipate. "So, did you hear? They commuted my sentence," she cracks, smiling.

"Yes, I did," the chief chuckles, waving at a chair in front of his desk. "Sit, please."

He sits down as soon as Faith takes a seat.

"I'm really glad to hear the Regents reviewed your case. I heard someone came forward in your favor?" He looks out of the corner of his eye. "Was it the girl? The one you helped that night?"

"No… uh, she wanted to, but like I said it wouldn't have helped my case… no, believe it or not, it was the other one… the brunette?" She grins. "The other brunette… the one at the party?"

"Brunette? Oh, you mean the one we questioned at the party?" He looks at her with a strange expression. "How did that happen?"

"Oh, well …" Faith really doesn't want to recount the incident at the Butterfly's heart for the chief. He probably wouldn't like I was planning to make her my personal punching dummy…" I ran into her after, and after we… discussed it, she saw the error of her ways…"

The chief is immediately suspicious. "Ms. McKerrigan, you didn't coerce her, did you? That would be looked at rather dimly…"

"No! Hell no…" Though, I did want to 'persuade her' just a little… "I just talked at her, and then some others talked at her…and well…" She shrugs. "I guess she decided what she did was wrong, you know?"

"Well, I'm glad she came forward…" The chief knows something's being held back, but he really doesn't want to know about it. "So, anyway, I hear you've been reinstated? Without prejudice, as I understand?"

"Yes, sir. Actually…" Faith bites her lip, "Kinda why I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?"

"Well, I'm kinda thinking over about wanting to come back to school here, and … aw, geeze, can I just be honest here?"

"Please…"

"Well, you see, the family I've been staying with… I'm not living with them anymore… "

"I'm sorry to hear that," Chief Romero replies. " did something happen?"

"Uhhh… we kinda didn't see eye to eye on some things, and well… look, it's kinda personal…"

"Ok, so how can I help, then?"

"Well, I'm needing to like get a small place to stay, and that requires I've got something like a job, and well…"

"You were wondering if something might be open?" The Chief cocks his head.

"Yeah…" Faith looks a little embarrassed. "I mean, I suppose I could get another bartending job or something, but I was hoping I wouldn't have to do that again. I mean, I got nothing against people drinkin'… look, I just kinda tired of having to smile at mean drunks, and frankly, I'm not wanting to do that again. And…"She shrugs. "Kinda hoping I could find something here on campus…" She looks directly into his face. "I just want to do something better, you know? I figure … I can do better than that. I've had all the crappy jobs in bars and stuff and I want… more…"

"So, you figured being a rent-a- cop would better?" Chief Romero watches her reaction.

"I didn't say… I mean, I don't think…"

"Ms. McKerrigan, I know very well what most of the students think about the Campus police…"

"Oh…" Faith thinks a second, then looks up. "Look, Chief. I'm not from around here, ya know? I'm from Boston, and there we gotta whole different attitude towards cops…er, police. I won't say I was like, a goody two shoes, and I had my share of scrapes, but I always…well, mostly… respected the cops, you know? And I'm like clean… never been arrested… don't have a record or nothing, and I'd work really hard…and what's so funny?"

The chief has started laughing, holding up his hand. "Whoa up, girl. I didn't say you couldn't be one, or anything, I just wanted to see your reaction." His expression turns serious. "Look, Faith, I'm not going to BS you. It's not a great job, the pay isn't great, there are benefits, but it can get bad sometimes. And, you'd have to go through a training program. You can't just walk off the street and be a cop…or even a security guard. And you have to be licensed by the state…"

"Oh. So I'm kinda taking that as a no, then?" Faith starts to stand up.

"Wait. Sit down…" the chief waves her back down. "You're in such a hurry, Ms. McKerrigan…"

"Faith."

"Faith, then. Don't be so impatient, ok?" Chief Romero says kindly. "I'm just telling you you're going to have to work a little to become part of the Campus Police force. And I need to tell you, I don't have any openings for a field officer right at the moment…"

"So, it really is no, then?"

"No, it's a maybe. Look, I don't have place for an officer, and you're not trained. But I do have an opening for a night dispatcher. You don't need any real training; you just need to pass the exam. And it's not that hard, believe me. It's just to weed out the idiots." He looks at her intently. "Basically, you'd be answering calls and dispatching the patrol guys out to where they need to be. What do you think?"

"I can do that…" Faith nods, "But I kind of wanted…"

"Ok, let me finish?"

"Yes, sir. Sorry."

"Well, you seem eager enough," Chief Romero chuckles. "Look, I didn't plan on keeping you there. It's basically to get your foot in the door, and let you get a taste of what the work is like. You're planning on being here for a few years, right?"

"Yeah…well… if I don't screw up or they don't kick me out again…"

"I don't think that'll happen," he says simply. "I think you can handle the dispatcher's job… and later, over the summer, when you're out of class, you can go for training. It's a 6 week course, and after, you're tested and get certified. So, by next fall, you'd be on patrol. How's that?"

"It sounds… you really mean it?"

"Yes, I really mean it," He nods.

"So, when can I start?" Faith asks, a little eagerly.

"You have to take the test first. I'll arrange with my assistant for a time to administer the test. Are you free tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yes, sir!"

The chief has to chuckle to himself. He knows for a fact that a good portion of Faith's enthusiasm is about getting the job, and impressing him. He'd like to tell her to relax, he's already impressed by her. Anyway, a little enthusiasm never hurts.

"Hold on one moment."

The chief picks up his phone, dials a number, and consults with his assistant.

"Are you free tomorrow afternoon at 3 p.m., Faith?"

"Absolutely. I'll be here…"

"Ok, ok!" He holds up a hand. He talks into the phone, then replaces the receiver. "Ok, tomorrow at 3 p.m. Bring a number two pencil, your driver's license and social security card. Oh, and …" he reaches into his drawer, pulling out a pad of applications. He tears off a sheet. "Fill this out completely, ok?" He hands her an application.

"You got it, Chief." She stands up. "Thank you."

"You don't have the job yet, Faith."

"I know, I know, but thanks…" She smiles, clutching the application. "You won't be sorry."

I suspect I won't.

"Oh, one more thing," The chief takes his pad, and writes something on it. "Are you still looking for a place to live?"

"Yes, sir."

"Ok, call the number on this note, and talk to Antonia. That's my sister. She has a room… it's not much, really, just a converted garage, but she rents it out cheap to student. Well, ones I send over, anyway. She'll give you the address and everything. Just tell her I recommended you…"

Faith bites her lip, looking at the note. She looks up, smiling warmly. "Thanks, chief. I really don't know what to say…"

He gives her his patented hard look.

"Just don't make me sorry I recommended you, ok?"

"I won't. I promise!" Faith turns and starts for the door, then turns back. "Thanks, thanks for everything. I really mean it."

Chief Romero just smiles at her, and Faith leaves, closing the door behind her.

He leans back in his chair, and putting his hands behind his head, turns and looks out of his office window at the campus. He smiles.

"You know what? I think I'll pick up some carnations for Maria. She really loves carnations."

He nods to himself, feeling pretty pleased with himself at the moment.

7

"Uggh," Buffy moans, closing her locker and lifting her backpack up on her shoulder. Hitching it up over her back, she makes her way towards the school entrance.

Buffy is in pain; emotionally and physically. Today has not been her day.

Things after lunch didn't get any better; if anything, they got worse.

She had a pop quiz in History, which she's pretty sure she tanked on.

In her next class, Chemistry, somebody played a trick on her, messing up her lab experiment. Needless to say, the teacher wasn't at all pleased when she combined her ingredients, causing a rather foul odor of rotten eggs to spread through the room.

And of course, he didn’t believe I didn't do it intentionally. So, on top of everything else? Detention for the rest of the week. Sweet, just sweet.

And of course, Harmony was there, along with Cordelia, giving her disapproving looks. Like I'd done it on purpose!

The worst, the absolute worst, however, was cheerleading practice.

As promised(or threatened), Cordelia assigned her to Harmony to catch up on the routine. Despite her misgivings, she didn't want to give Cordelia any excuses to boot her off the team. So, she didn't argue, but paired up with Harmony over away from where the rest of the cheerleaders were practicing.

The malicious gleam in Harmony's eyes gave her a chill.

"Gee, Buffy, we better get you warmed up first. I mean, you've been gone like a week…" Harmony crossed her arms over her chest.

"I was out 3 days, Harmony."

"Whatever… don't want you to like, strain a muscle or something, you know. Maybe you should take… oh… 10 laps around the gym." Harmony smiled. It wasn't a particularly nice smile.

Buffy looked around the gym, which was rather large. "10 laps? Isn't that a bit much? How is that going to help me with the routine?"

"Well, Buffy, if you don't want to do the work, you're free to leave. But before you start doing a routine, I want you warmed up…" Harmony looked at her watch. "You better get going. I don't have all day, you know."

Buffy was being had, and she knew it. She also knew if she didn't run, she could forget the team.

Sighing, she took off.

It only got worse from there. After her little jog around the gym, Harmony put her through a variety of aerobic and anaerobic exercises, " to stretch you out and get you breathing…" Harmony again gave her one of the hyena like smiles.

Buffy gritted her teeth, and went through the routine, as Harmony sat back and watched her. When Buffy finished one, Harmony would call out exercise to run through.

Not going to quit. Not going to quit, Buffy thought, as she felt her lungs burn and her sides hitch. She's not gonna make me quit.

By the time she was done, she was panting, and covered in a sheen of sweat. She half walked, half stumbled over to Harmony.

"Ok," Buffy whispered, panting for breath. "I'm warm. Now what?"

"Gee, Buffy. You really are outta shape," Harmony chided her, shaking her head. "Maybe if you spent more time working out and less time fighting and getting in trouble… but, oh well. Come on, follow me."

Harmony strode across the floor, leading Buffy to yet another part of the gym.

Buffy glared at her as she walked ahead. Fantasies of tying up Harmony and dipping her in a vat of boiling oil wandered through her head. One of these days, I'm gonna kill that … just chill. Just get through it…

"Well, come on, Buffy. Clock's ticking. Tick tock."

Maybe today…

"Ok, now watch carefully. Then you do it, ok, and I'll watch you."

Buffy nods, not wanting to waste her breath on Harmony.

Harmony stepped quickly through a rather complicated routine, involving intricate dance steps followed by a double reverse flip, winding up in a split, arms raised. She raised herself into a standing position.

Gotta give her props. She did that really well.

"Ok, Buffy, your turn."

Buffy stared at her like she's crazy.

"What're you talking about, Harm? You didn't break that down for me. How'm I supposed to do that after seeing it once?"

"Oh, c'mon, Buffy. It's not like it's the first time you've ever done a routine, is it?" Harmony smirked at her. "Or maybe you just don't have what it takes?" Harmony cocks her head. "What do you say, Buff?"

"I say you're…" Buffy spotted Cordelia watching them, and bites back the rest of what she was gonna say. "… right, I guess. Let me try it…"

"Thatta girl," Harmony nodded. Oh, this should be good.

Buffy took a few to remember Harmony's performance, then taking a deep breath, threw herself into it.

Buffy knew almost at once that she was off. Her feet just didn't go where they were supposed to, and her turns were late and out of sync.

"No, Buffy, right… not left… right," Harmony called out, shaking her head. "Weren't you watching me at all?"

Buffy took a step, launches into the first back flip, and knew she was really in trouble. Her feet didn't land like they should've to launch her into the second flip. Despite that, she tried to force herself into it, only to land belly down on the gym floor. She lay there, exhausted and hurting.

"That was…pathetic, Buffy."

Buffy didn't even want to look at her. Instead, she lays there, staring at Harmony's shoes.

"Well, are you going to lay there all day, Buffy?"

Buffy fought back an urge to use the last of her strength to grab Harmony by the ankles and knock her on her ass. Won't do any good, and only get you booted off the team. Calm, remain calm, she's just a moron…

"Well, Harm. How's our girl doing?" Another set of shoes join Harmony's as Buffy groans, pushing herself up off the floor.

Oh, great. Cordelia!

"God, Cor, where did you get her? She can't even do a simple double back flip without…" Harmony held out her hands at Buffy. " I don't think she's ever going to learn it."

"It was my first shot at it, Harmony," Buffy said, still on her hands and knees. "And maybe if you'd taken the time to break down the routine, I …"

"Oh, you're such a liar! I showed you how to do it." Harmony made a face. "I can't help it you're too dense to get it…"

"Too dense? You run through it at top speed, and I'm supposed to just…"

"Buffy, that's enough!" Cordelia cut her off. "You're the one that's been out. Harmony was good enough to volunteer to help you catch up, and you give her grief?" Cordelia crosses her arms over her chest, giving Buffy a stern look.

"I… I'm not…I'm really not…" Buffy protested. "I'm trying here, but she's not even…"

"I really don't want to hear it, Buffy. I dunno…" Cordelia shook her head. "I put you on the squad because I thought you had something. But all I've seen so far is 'tude and trouble." She turns to Harmony. "What do you think, Harm?"

Harmony shrugged. "It's your choice, Cordelia. Personally, I'd boot her bony butt off the team."

Buffy can feel the whoosh of the axe as it passes by her neck.

"Please, Cordelia. I'll do better. I'll work harder… just give me another chance."

Cordelia stared at her with a stone face. But inside, she's doing a dance. Got you just where I want you now, you stuck up little …

"I think you're done for today, Buffy. I think you really better do some thinking about where you want to be. In with the squad…" She waved her arms towards the group,"… or in loserville. Hit the showers, and I better see some better performance out of you tomorrow… or…" She trails off, letting Buffy finish it in her mind.

"Yeah, loser, hit the showers. Scrub real good and maybe you can get rid of that stench of loser you got!"

Buffy felt gutted. She stared at the two of them frowning at her, and she turned, heading for the showers. She didn't see the low five they gave each other. But she did hear the titters and jeers from the rest of the squad. She burned a deep red blush.

Standing here now, remembering her day, all she wants to do is crawl under the nearest rock and pull it in after her. She starts down the stairs, towards the gate and away from this hell called High School.

Maybe I got this coming. I know I've been a total bitch towards everyone. Guess I'm just getting my own back. I hate it here, god I just want to run so far away no one'll ever find me. Never know me. I just wanna disappear so bad…

Everything is wrong! Everything I'm doing is wrong. I don't know what to do. I gotta fix it, though. I gotta make it right… somehow, I've got to make it all like it was again. I can do that. I know I can do that… it's going to be ok again, I know it. It will be ok…

"Buffy?"

Buffy looks up, and at first she doesn't recognize who's talking to her. A little bit of fear is reflected in her eyes.

"Oz?" Relief washes over her face.

"Hey, right on one. Hey," Oz smiles, walking over to her. "Just getting out?"

"Yeah…"

"You look kinda… rough. You ok?"

"Huh?" Buffy kind of pulls it together, beaming a smile. "Oh, yeah. Well, rough cheerleading practice. Really worked my butt off today."

"Oh," Oz nods.

"So, how come you're still here? I figured you'd be long gone after the last bell rang."

"Normally I would. But I've got detention."

"That blows," Buffy grins ruefully. "Me too, starting tomorrow."

"So… ummm…" Oz hesitates, a little shyly. "I was wondering… would you… how about we go to the Espresso Pump, maybe get something?"

"Are you asking me for a date, Mr. Osborne?" Buffy smiles. She unconsciously primps a little.

"Not a date, really," Oz shrugs. "Maybe more a get together. A date's kind of formal. This is more casual."

"Oh," Buffy nods, knowingly without a clue. "So, you don't want to date me then?" She teases.

"Well, hadn't thought we'd gotten there yet," Oz looks at her. "So, what do you say?"

Buffy makes a face. "I'd really, really love to. But I can't. Kinda on restriction. Ok, no kinda about it. I'm on restriction. Sorta can't … do anything fun right now."

"Bummer," Oz commiserates. "but it's cool. So how long are you on restriction?"

"If my mom had her way? Til I was 30 or so… but I think a couple of weeks. She really hated me getting suspended."

"Yeah, moms are like that." Oz nods. "So, see you around then?"

"Yeah…" Buffy moves closer "Ask me when I'm not on restriction?"

"Sure," Oz smiles, "I'd like that."

"Me too," Buffy says, realizing the truth of it as she says it. "I'd really like that too." She beams another smile.

"So, later then…" Oz starts down the steps, holding his hand up in a wave. "gotta motor. Late for practice…"

"Later…" Buffy holds up her hand. She smiles, and shakes her head. So not my type… still, what is my type, really? But he's really kinda cute… in a geeky way…

"Buffy?"

Buffy, startled, looks around to see Hank standing at the gate. She runs down the steps, and hugs him tightly.

"Dad! Hi!"

"Hi, baby," Hank returns the hug. He hears her wince. "you ok?"

"Oh, yeah. Just fine. Just had a really hard workout at practice today," Buffy says. "So, what're you doing here?"

"Do I need a reason to see my favorite daughter?"

"N-No…of course not," Buffy smiles. "Just didn't expect to see you so soon."

"I'm living here now, Buffy. Getting an apartment as soon as I can find one."

"That's so cool," Buffy gives him another hug.

"So, what do you say? Still drinking mochas? Want to go with your old dad and get one?"

"I can't, dad. I'm on restriction." Buffy pouts a little. "I gotta get home."

"Oh, c'mon. Just a coffee. We can talk ."

Buffy looks undecided.

"I'll smooth it over with your mom, don't worry."

Well, heck, why not? It's my dad, right? What's so important for me to rush home for, anyway? No one wants me there, anyway!

"Yeah, sure, dad. Ok, that'd be nice." She slips her arm through his. "Lead on."

They walk to the car, and Hank pauses as he opens the door.

"Who was that boy I saw you talking to?"

"What boy?"

"The boy? On the steps? With the kinda weird hair?"

"OH! Oz. Yeah, he's … he's just a friend."

"He's not your boyfriend, then?"

"Uh… no, not a boyfriend. I mean, he's a boy, and a friend…"

"Got it," Hank cuts her off. "I'm kind of glad he's just a friend."

"Oh?"

"Well, I'm sure he's a nice guy and all, but…"

"What?"

"Well, he … he's got that weird hair. And what did it say on his t-shirt? "Dingoes at my baby"? And, he's got an earring. Kind of … I don't know. Just doesn't seem your type."

Buffy gives her dad a strange look. " You sound a little jealous."

"What? Don't be absurd, Buffy. Just protective of my daughter."

A slightly strange look comes into Buffy's eyes. She smiles, almost like a china doll.

"No worries, daddy. You know there's no one I love more than you."

Hank smiles, and opens the door.

To be continued.