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Chapter 15


Willow went into the kitchen and interrupted the moment between Slayer and vampire. She awkwardly stayed quiet for a moment and seeing their eyes meet hers she stuttered at first.

"I.... I th..think we f.. found out why Angel became human " she thrust the pages of data into Buffy's hands, whilst smiling at Spike sheepishly.
Buffy frowned as she skimmed over the pages . She looked up once and smiled before going back to the first page.

"Are you sure this is right? I mean how can he do that? "
"I'm not sure that's the part that's the stomper Buffy. I have done enough spells to know that he wouldn't have the knowledge or the power, or at least I didn't think he had"

Buffy thrust the pages towards Spike and he sat at the breakfast bar to read over them. He mumbled something occasionally , but other than that he remained silent as he read.

"So, Watcher junior meddled did he? And how the hell did he get the power?"
"We'll have to tell Giles, we have no idea why he wanted Angel human and maybe let Angel know so he can be careful. If Wes is trying something then we need to be in a position to stop him."

Buffy saw Spike study the transcript of the spell and then close his eyes. She felt for him, she knew that he wanted what Angel had. She tried to ignore the look in his eyes but couldn't . If she really thought they would be better off with him keeping his undead status, why did she feel so crappy?

Giles wasn't surprised that Wesley had interfered. He had already told him about a prophecy involving Angel and Darla, and he knew that it was going to be bad. Buffy paced the room and huffed . Spike took it wrongly and thought that it was her feelings for Angel that were causing her the stress. It wasn't a very productive or comfortable meeting. Spike stormed off once the sun had set. Buffy yelled at Giles for not sharing the information earlier. Willow sat quiet and Xander ate too many do-nuts and ended up groaning due to a stomach ache.

Finally Buffy understood why both Watchers had taken the course of action they did. The prophecy spoke of the vampire with a soul creating new life and this son would become the destroyer. Not liking the sound of that, Buffy agreed that maybe Wesley had taken the right steps. Except for maybe now he was human, it may still happen. She finally broke her mood and sniggered as Xander suggested getting him a vasectomy. After everything had been sorted out , Buffy went on patrol and to search for Spike.

Spike walked into Willy's and heard the hushed whispers . Several of the patrons left, giving him looks that could stake as they passed him. Others just ignored his presence. He swung his duster over the stool at the bar and sat , Willy nervously stood before him waiting for his order.

"Jack Daniels, an' leave the bottle, put it on my tab"
"Y... yeah okay Spike , so where's the Mrs tonight?"

The growl was enough to shut up the slimy little man up and make him back off. Willy had a bad habit of talking too much especially when nervous. Spike just wanted to get drunk, a spot of violence and then to stagger back to his crypt and pass out. No way was he going back to the Slayers house tonight.

Buffy searched everywhere and even went to see Clem in case he has returned to the crypt. Clem shook his head and said that he would let her know if he did. There was only one place left, Willy's. Buffy took her frustrations out on several vamps that she met along the way to Willy's. It didn't exactly help, as they weren't the vampire that had annoyed her with his disappearing act. As she walked through the door, the whispering started again, Spike sat at the bar, hunched over his shot glass, completely unaware.

Buffy stood to Spikes left. He smirked and then turned to the bar.

"Oh look it's my old ball and chain. No doubt come to drag me home cos of some bleedin apocalypse , that or she wants to totally immasculate me again" He looked at her through his drunk eyes and sneered " well Goldilocks which is it?" He stood up and staggered.

"Your doing a stand up job of immasculating yourself Spike" she spat his name " Why would I want to ruin it for you?"
"Like old times eh? Although not so old " Spike frowned as though trying to recall something , his face suddenly brightened with knowledge "That's it... I USED TO BLOODY HATE YOU!"

Spike threw a weak punch towards her and staggered , Buffy stepped out of the way and watched as he staggered into the wall. He turned one eighty and stared at her through gold eyes, his snarl was vicious.

"YOU FUCKED WITH MY MEMORIES AND MY SODDIN HEART YOU CALLOUS BITCH"
He attacked again, only now he had tears streaming down his face. "I was s'posed to be Dru's"

The heart ache he was causing her registered through her anger , but she knew it wouldn't be long before she would have to actively defend herself. For now she could dodge his attacks. The demons all cheered on the fight between the two lovers, making Buffy yen for violence. She took the stake from her jeans and threw it at the young vampire that had stood on a table for a better view while he cheered Spike on. His dust settled on a demon sat below him .It only served to anger the demon and he threw a table over, ready to join in and help take out the bitch of a Slayer. The Archnal demon he was sat with stopped him and shook his head.

Buffy managed to get him outside into the alley. The alley that they first met . Spike seemed to recall it through his drunken haze. His laughter caused Buffy to frown nd then she recalled it too. She didn't let her guard down, Spike sunk to the wet tarmacadam and held his face in his hands. Buffy approached cautiously. Her fingertips brushed his shoulder and he leapt up growling , his face a mask of evil. He grabbed her and forced her against the wall of the bar. His hands searched her for more stakes and he grinned when he found none.

"This is what I wanted to do to you that first night Slayer"

He kissed her roughly, not caring that his fangs were slicing her lips and tongue. Buffy fought to push him away, but that just spurred him on.

"Come on now lover, you don't normally take a back seat, not going soft on ole Spike are ya?"

Buffy cringed at the way he was talking to her and by the rough way he was treating her.

He yanked at the skirt she was wearing and she felt the seam give way. Buffy was soon naked from the waist down and her breasts were exposed as Spike had ripped her tank top down the middle. His bite marks were trailed down from her shoulder and along the top curve of her breasts. He took each nipple in his mouth and pierced them in turn. Buffy's cries were all he needed to continue. Ingesting her Slayer blood only heightened his arousal.

"Like ambrosia you are, your bloods an aphrodisiac , like a drug I don't want to ever be without"

His hands clutched at her bare ass and he lifted her. He reached down and Buffy closed her eyes , blinking away her tears as she heard the zipper to his jeans . He entered her roughly and with each thrust, slammed her bare back against the rough brick. The scent of fresh bloody wounds made Spike lose control. He let out a primal roar and sunk his teeth into her bared neck. He climaxed and his legs gave way. He collapsed to the floor , taking her with him. Buffy , weak from blood loss and shock, struggled feebily to break away from him. He held her tight and she knew he would kill her if she didn't get away from him soon. Though her anger had gone, her tears fell. Now she felt empty, here was the man she loved, who she trusted, and he was feeding from her as though she was a stranger. Without thinking, Buffy wrapped an arm around him and whispered.

"I love you, even if you kill me now, I'll still love you William"

His pulls on her neck slowed, his hold on her weakened and finally he pushed her off of him and he stared at her. The realisation hit him and he shook his head. Ashamed and scared, Spike ran.

Buffy laid in the alley for what seemed like forever. Gradually she stood, her hand bracing her weight on the wall, she picked up the torn skirt and wrapped it around her, holding it together with one hand, her top pulled together with the other hand. Her indecency now covered, albeit barely, she made her way back to Revello Drive.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that the other occupants were in their rooms when she got back. She struggled up to the bathroom and slammed the door. She rested against the door and slid to the floor , crying into her hands. After a while she seemed to run out of tears and her anger returned. Buffy set the shower to hot and slung the offending articles of clothing against the waste bin in the corner. She stepped under the scalding water and took in gulps of steamed air. Finally she let out the scream that had built since the alley and punched the tiled walls several times. Spinters of glazed tile fell into the bath and cut at her feet like razor blades. Buffy felt nothing.

Sometime later she climbed into her bed, leaving a trail of bloodied footprints from the bathroom to her bed. They went unnoticed, as did the bloodied sheets that she wrapped around herself. Exhaustion finally took her and she slept, fitful but asleep.


Spike barged into the crypt, almost ripping the door off in the process. Clem stuck his head up through the hole at the back of the crypt. Seeing the state of his best friend. Clem came up and tried to initiate conversation. Spike didn't answer him. He packed a small hold all, threw his duster in the corner and picked up a bunch of keys. He stopped at the door way and half turned to Clem.

"Keep her safe. For me. Tell her I...... Just don't let some nasty like me get her, promise me Clem?"
"K... what's this about Spike?"
"Don' rightly know . Can't be around her like this, she don't deserve the likes of me, I want to be, need to be, but I'm jus' deluding myself and her"

Spike left the crypt and swung a leg over the motorbike. He threw his last fag as he looked back at the sleeping town , he rocked the bike before taking off. The rear light became smaller until it was no longer visible.