Protective Custody (1/20)COMPLETE

(Disclaimer: We own nothing. Joss owns all. You know the drill.)


"Come on pet, don't be jealous." Spike didn't give Xander the opportunity to slip away. Instead, he caught him by the waist and easily lifted him up and sat him on the kitchen counter in front of him. "Glass of wine, while do some chopping?" He smirked at the boy's bemused expression.

“What?” Xander stared at Spike in disbelief. “Did the bleach seep down to your brain? I said I refuse to be her stand in. And how the hell did I get on the counter?!”

He wriggled forward, trying to get down only to find a short blond in his way. “Step aside, bleach boy, I want down.”

"Not what you were saying last night, yeah?" Spike locked gazes with him, and bodily prevented him from slipping down off the counter. Standing between Xander's legs pretty much made it impossible for the boy to get away. "Just doing what you told me. Erm... ordered me. Don't you remember? You said to dance... then you said to kiss you..." his gaze dropped to the boy's mouth. "You do remember that, and the rest?"

Xander blushed, remembering his actions. He couldn’t believe he’d ordered Spike to dance with him. Never drinking again, ever.

“I did not order you to kiss me and anyway I was drunk! Consider all orders rescinded or whatever and let me go Spike.” He snapped, still angry at being set up as a substitute.

"Yeah... you ordered me to kiss you. Then you said harder. Then you forced me to touch you all over, like this," Spike ran his hands up Xander's thighs. "And you made me kiss you. Like this," his voice dropped an octave, as he bent down and pressed his mouth on the boy's groin.

Xander let out a little eep when Spike suddenly bent to his groin. His brain went into overdrive, trying to remember everything about the previous night. What if Spike was telling the truth? He wouldn’t do that to Spike! But he had hadn’t he, when Spike was asleep he had taken advantage. What if…Oh God no…

He grabbed Spike’s head and instead of pushing him down on his crotch like his body wanted, he tried to pull him off.

“Spike no, please no. I didn’t order that, I didn’t! I wouldn’t do that, I’m not…I’m not like that, I wouldn’t!” He babbled, trying to get out of Spike’s grip.
Spike raised his head and flashed his most innocent look. "It’s not how you like it? I could have sworn that's what you said." He hadn't moved an inch though, and was still in Xander's personal space. "And you ordered me to walk around naked... something about no more clothes. Easy access, I think that was the phrase you used."

Xander felt the blood draining from his face as Spike’s hands slid up his thighs. He was ashamed to feel his cock reacting to Spike’s touch, mortified at his body’s rebellion.

“No. Nononononono.” He repeated, trying to make it true. “I didn’t. I wouldn’t.”

Gathering all his strength, he pushed Spike back and jumped off the counter, running for the one room in the flat that had a lock on the door. Couldn’t face Spike like that. When he’d done that to the blond. How could he do that? Being drunk was not an excuse…Never drinking again. Never.

He hadn't anticipated that. Spike gave chase, but found the bedroom door slammed and locked in his face. "Xander, open the door." He slammed his hand against it. "And here I thought I was irresistible. Come on, my room, yeah...open the door. Need to talk. I won't touch you."

Xander leaned against the door, letting his body slide downwards until he was sitting on the floor, his knees close to his chest and hiding his face behind them.

“How can you even look at me after…I’m sorry Spike…I’m so sorry.” He said, tears sliding down his cheeks. “I won’t…” Deep breath to steady his voice. “I won’t do it again. Call Buffy, you can do that now, and just go find her okay? It’s what you wanted anyway.”

"Open the door. Open it," he demanded, hearing the sounds of crying. A muscle worked in his jaw. Why were his plans cursed these days? "Xander..." his voice softened, and there was a slight catch in it. "I... I cleaned up, for you. I cooked - for you. The candles, the flowers...they're for you. Just you. Not for her." He added.

Xander felt his heart lighten a bit at the words. It was all for him? Spike liked him. Not Buffy, him. He smiled and turned to unlock the door.

Then he remembered the rest.

“Spike I told you, all orders are off, you don’t have to act like you want me. You won’t disappear, just go okay?” He was too weary to deal with more drama. When Spike was gone…when he was gone he’d go talk to Willow. She’d help him figure out what the hell was wrong with him that he’d take advantage of the Wankers’ instructions. Take advantage of Spike.

“Listen. I was acting when I ... when I pretended I don't want you." Spike looked down at the ground. "The other night...it was a mistake. I didn't want to feel what I was feeling, I was scared. I called you Buffy, but I knew it was you. I knew what I was doing." He banged his forehead against the door. "If you order me to leave, I will. But I don't want to."
Xander tried to understand what Spike was saying. When they…he hadn’t been asleep? Spike had been wide awake during the all the kissing and rubbing and grabbing. He’d been wide awake and he’d called out Buffy’s name. Xander frowned. Spike had wanted Xander during the whole thing? But he called out Buffy’s name. Why would he do that though?

“Are you lying?” He asked cautiously. “Because I told you, you don’t have to act like you want me. I’m…I’m sorry I ordered you to do all that.” His voice broke at the thought of what he had to apologize for. “I promise I won’t do it again. You’re free to do whatever you want Spike.”

"I want you to come out here, so I can kiss you better," Spike said simply.

“No. How can you want to do that anyway after what I did?” Xander hid his face in his hands, trying hard to forget what Spike had said.

"Maybe you didn't. Maybe I just wish you had, yeah?" Spike rattled the door knob. And maybe he'd been wrong. Xander couldn't forgive him for everything. That trick had been cruel. "Do you want me to go?"

Xander’s head snapped up at Spike’s words, banging against the door. He’d what now? A few seconds later Spike’s words made sense.

“You mean I didn’t do that? Didn’t order you to be all naked and have easy access and oh my God I’m going to kill you so dead!” He yelled and in one angry move he was on his feet and pulling the door open. “You bastard! You complete and total bastard! Do you have any idea what you just put me through?!”

All doubt fell away when Spike found himself faced by an avenging angel. "You love me." He couldn't help the smug smile, or the fact that he completely ignored Xander's anger, or the fact that his hands shot out and grabbed Xander by the shirt, and dragged him up hard against his lean frame. "Yes you do."

The smug look on Spike’s face only made Xander angrier. For the second time that night he pushed the blond away from him. “I swear, if I was sure I’d stop before I killed you I would punch you right now.” He growled and moved away again, this time because he didn’t want to hurt Spike. He couldn’t believe the blond could be so goddamn fucking cruel and he couldn’t believe he still loved the bastard despite that.

Xander slammed the bedroom door closed and started pacing. He needed to think. If all those orders Spike claimed he was given never took place then why did Spike set the apartment up for a romantic dinner? And if he’d been awake when they had sex then why didn’t he just stop? Why call out Buffy’s name. Xander was sure Spike wouldn’t do something just to hurt him. He’d gotten to know the blond enough to know that Spike didn’t just hurt people like that. There had to be a reason but what the hell was it?

Staring at the closed door, Spike sighed. Obviously it was time for a new plan.
Xander was settling in a rather intense thinking session when he heard music coming from the living room. He glared at the door, annoyed that Spike could obviously disregard his anger so easily. What the hell was he listening to anyway? That sounded nothing like Spike’s usual choice in music.

He watched the door open and Spike edge in, looking a little nervous. And he should be! What the hell was he thinking telling him all those lies and is that Macho Man?!

Xander’s eye widened when Spike started dancing to the music.

“You’ve lost your mind haven’t you? I mean literally. This being-human thing drove you insane. It’s the only explanation for what you’ve been doing.”

"Oh, come on, don't be angry... I called in and requested the song for you. Its happy and... very us , or more you..." he wiggled his hips, one arm raised over his head as he danced closer. "They'll be reading my apology at the end of it.”

“You called a radio station? Oh my God you are insane!” Shock kept Xander immobile as Spike approached.

He moved behind Xander and put his hands on the guy's hips, forcing him to move to the music. "Come on, don't pout. You know you want to laugh. You do... you're losing your pout." He stooped down slightly and kissed the corner of Xander's mouth.

“I’m not pouting! I’m angry!” Xander glared, trying to hold on to his anger. “You put me through hell Spike, and I can’t even understand why. Why are you even here anyway, you were supposed to be half-way to Italy by now!”

"Come with me, and I'll go," he turned Xander around to face him. "Dance... do it." He shoved his leg between Xander's and moved to the music, basically making Xander dance with him. "Macho, mach man... I want to be, a macho man... come on.." he wheedled, and smiled, and made the strangest dance moves, all aimed at coaxing a smile from his boy. Just one.

Xander looked at Spike trying so hard to make him smile and he felt hope blossom. He put his hands on Spike’s hips and held him still.

“Tell me. Just once, with no clever words and plans. Tell me and I’ll dance.”

"Tell you what? I'm sorry?" the blond asked, slightly confused as to what would make it all better.

“Yeah…sorry…” Xander mumbled, trying to smile. So that was that then. Spike obviously thought they were friends. Just friends. “Dance now, yeah?” He asked and started moving to the rhythm, pushing his pain down. He’d done this before, been friends with someone he was in love with, he could do it again.
As the song faded out, the dj's voice took over. "Right. This wasn't your typical love song, to say the least but it was requested by Spike, for Xander. Ah... maybe THAT explains it," the dj chuckled. "Xander, if you're listening..."

"Of course he's listening, he's here, you git!"

"... Spike says he was scared to love you, and he's sorry for the pain he caused, and he'd like to dance, dance, dance..."

Xander looked at Spike, surprised into silence by the dj’s words.

"Wait, I didn't say that bit... who the bloody hell says 'dance, dance, dance...'" Spike was fuming. "They bloody well messed it up."

Xander grinned at Spike, drawing the blond’s attention back to him.

“Wanna hear you say it. No ‘I’m sorry’s Spike. Stop being dense and tell me, okay?” He said, letting the hope show in his face and voice. He still needed to hear the words from Spike himself. Then he wanted a damn good grovelling and begging for forgiveness but the words would do for now.

Spike looked into Xander's face. "You want me to say it?"

“Yup. Loud and clear and with no hope of misunderstanding.” Xander insisted, beginning to enjoy Spike’s reluctance.

"Fine. I want you to... dance, dance, dance," he said, shifting his weight from one let to the other. "But I really didn't say it the first time. I don't think it sounds at all sexy or like me..." Reading all the signs of forgiveness, he started to pull Xander closer.

Xander stepped out of Spike’s arms and glared, amusement gone at the blond’s continued refusal to just say the fucking words. Spike was still playing games and Xander was tired of it.

“You can’t say it, you can’t have it.” He snapped and turned around, intending to go turn off the radio.

"I... I...well...I might love you. I mean if you bloody stayed put, didn't ruin the dinner and the dancing, and... generally were more accessible." When Xander turned, Spike crooked a finger. "Come here. I've always been more 'action' than 'talk,' yeah. Let me show you." His voice dropped an octave as his heated gaze travelled slowly down Xander's body, then went back up to his face.

Xander rolled his eye at Spike's cop out, ignoring his body's reaction to the rest of his little speech. He stalked back to Spike and, putting his hand in either side of the blond's face, he pulled him forward for a kiss. "I love you Spike. No might, no accessibility issues about it. "


(A/N: Thank you for the fb, I had a fun time reading them ::grins:: And see, it works... speedy update for you! *hugs*)