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Chapter 14


He had slept for three days and had only woken for sips of water.

Spike sat beside the bed and watched as Angel struggled against unseen demons and thrashed around in the bed. Sweat coated his skin and his fever still hadn't broke. Buffy rested her hand on Spikes shoulder and watched . She knew that once his fever had died down, Angel would wake and be a perfectly normal average Joe. Yes he would have his memories, yes he would probably act a little crazy at first, but not in the way he had been. Willow and Giles both said that he would probably feel the need to do everything 'human', such as go to the beach, eat everything just to taste with human taste buds, hold his breath just to test his lung capacity, mundane things we all take for granted .

Spike knew that the one area that Angel would feel loss was his strength. Angel looked like a naturally strong bloke, but that was nothing when compared to that of a vampire. How could he still run Angel Inc now? I guess his team were thinking the same thing. Cordy had been the only one to have that chain of thought. Buffy had maintained that she was shallow and that she had the biggest ego . She was proved right. All the selfish bint could go on about was her losing a job , but then she had stopped yapping on and smiled.

"Now I can devote all my time getting auditions and pursue my dream of being an actress" she beamed "Oh wow! "
She had rushed out and within an hour , Cordy was using Buffys phone to line up auditions with six different opportunities.

Gunn had taken the news okay, a little upset, but he planned on returning to his crib and fighting demons the way he had started out. Spike knew a whole heap of crap was gonna happen there but then again he didn't really know the guy so.... it was his choice. Wesley was the only one that was at a loose end. He'd have a talk with Buffy and Giles later, Spike had an idea in his mind and would see if they thought it would be a viable option for him.

Angel turned onto his side and opened his eyes. He stared at Spike and Buffy , he swallowed hard and sat up slowly. Spike looked up at Buffy and then got up and left the room. As much as he hated leaving her alone with him, it was decided that she should be the one to try and explain things to him. Giles had said that he might hold Willow and himself responsible and they couldn't risk him attacking them, he might hate Spike for still being a vampire and so , he might try to stake him, so Buffy got the job of telling Angel how it is and to be his shoulder to cry on.

Taking a deep breath, she started her speech, she'd practised it in her head enough times so, just get on and say it and hope he doesn't interrupt.

"How do you feel?"
"Okay surprisingly" he croaked out , coughing to clear his throat and then " How did Willow manage this?"

Buffy handed him a glass of iced water and sat back down "We have no idea, all the spell was supposed to do was cleanse your aura and help get rid of the bats in your belfry"
"Right, so , no more crazy Angel and then you pack him off back to L.A , that was the deal then"
"Kinda, but not , look we just did what we had to, you were seriously Angelus like and there was no way we could go there again, you'd of ended up on the pointy end of a stake"

He snorted

"Look Angel, we're sorry it screwed up, but you can have a life now. No more Angelus, you can go out in the sun, go where you want , no more burdens"
"For over one hundred years I had the weight of all the people I killed , baring down on my soul, I had to atone , find some redemption , so I embraced it, for you. I don't have to tell you what a mess that ended up being, but then I found the strength to open Angel Investigations, people depend on me now, how can I still do that?" he frowned a little " I can't let them down. " Angel pulled the covers up his body and sighed " Before I was turned I was a waste, I didn't care at all, I would get drunk, use women, spend my Fathers wealth on all kinds of debauchery, I wasn't that different to Angelus. What if I become that person?"
"You won't" Buffy looked at her hands and then up to his face

A silence fell in the room, finally after a few minutes Angel stood up and walked to the window, still keeping to the shaded area.

"I have been , was , a vampire for so long I forgot how it feels to be human. I can feel my heart beating , my lungs fill without it being a conscious effort and I'm warm, it's amazing."
"Sure is...."
"Does everyone know?" he interrupted
"Yes"
"Right, I best get dressed then, I'm sure you'll all want to poke and prod me, question me til you all loose your voices, you do still have your Scooby meetings I take it?"

Buffy sniggered when she saw the smile on his face
"Yeah we do, I'll apologise in advance for Giles"
"No need, if you'll just give me five minutes"
"Okay, I'm glad your Okay Angel"

Buffy left the room and stood against the door and sighed


"He's okay, or seems to be, no more unhinged Angel"
"That's good Buffy, will he be joining us?" Giles asked
"He'll be down in a few minutes, he's still feeling the guilt though"
"Wouldn't worry too much pet, the git always thought of Angel and Angelus as two different people, he'll just do the same now and deal with it" Spike fumbled around in his pockets and finally pulled out his cigs and lighter
"So do we go back to calling him Liam then?" Cordy said
"He said that Liam was a pig, so I doubt he'll want to be reminded of himself from way back when" Buffy answered "Lets just stick to Angel, that's what we know him as "

Buffy sat on Spikes lap while they waited . Nobody spoke, all deep in thought and all thinking the same thing, what will happen next.

Angel finally made it downstairs and the group began the discussion.

By the time the discussion had finished, everyone had agreed that Angel should go back to L.A with his team and that they should keep in touch . Angel had never felt more relieved. Another night of being in that basement and he would have offered his throat to the first fledge that happened to be around. Buffy had given him the 'just because your human, doesn't mean you can't still fight the good fight' speech. Okay so she might have been annoying and maybe a bit smug with it but that didn't mean that she wasn't right, right?" He had a lot of muscle on his team and he knew he had the team here if he needed them.

Spike watched as he made his way back downstairs. His senses were telling him something wasn't right with him. So he was acting over protective, so sue him. This was his family , there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for them and that included watching his newly humanised sire. Angel sat on the cot and collected the few personal effects that he had with him. Gunn and Wes stood at the door watching Spike,

"You'll make him paranoid again man" Gunn said as he slapped his huge hand on Spikes shoulder
"Nah, intimidation never worked with Angelus, he was too much of a master at it himself an' you know what they say, can't beat him at his own game"
" I guess, we're gonna make a move soon, just wanted to say it was good to meet William the Bloody, not what I expected after hearing about the last time you and Angel met up"
"Gem of Amara gig, yeah that was pretty brutal"
"Is it true that you managed to get one over on the old man?"
"Yeah, funny really now that I think back... seeing him swinging around on chains with red hot pokers sticking out of him , though not from your point of view I guess" Spike sniffed and rolled his shoulders.
"Remind me to never piss you off"

Spike smiled smugly. Okay so he wasn't the same bad ass vampire he was before, but that didn't mean he couldn't wallow in his ability to intimidate even now.

Cordy stopped by the basement door and yelled down to Angel, his head appeared at the top of the stairs and he put the hold all down by the front door.

"All set then?" he asked his crew

They all nodded and looked around for Buffy and Spike. Dawn and Willow came from the kitchen and hugged everyone and said their goodbyes before retreating back . Buffy and Spike came into the hall and said their goodbyes, Spike hung back whilst the rest of the Scoobies went out into the sun to wave them off.

It had never really bothered Spike until then, the fact that the poof was now human and he wasn't. He had told Buffy that she belonged in the dark with him . Now he knew that wasn't true, not that he had meant it back then either, it had just been another desperate attempt to get Buffy to love him, to admit that she did have feelings for him. Seeing her stood on the front porch with the sun gleaming off of her, he knew she was a being of light and she belonged in the sun. He just hated the fact that he couldn't bask in it with her. Angel could now though.Spike was going to have to have a chat with Red later.

As they came back in, Buffy wrapped her hands around his waist and kissed his cheek.

"Glad that's over with now, just hope Angel is okay now"
"Ever heard the saying fall in shit come out smelling of roses ,pet?"
"No" she pulled a face at him " Sounds ooky to me, is it another one of those English sayings?"
"Yeah, and it seems to apply to that wanker right about now"
"Your not jealous that he's human now are you?"

Spike couldn't look at her or answer her, he felt enough of a git already

"Look, I don't want you human, I've had human boyfriends and they end up dead or worse. You were right when you said I need a little monster in my man. "
"No, Buffy I only said that to twist you up and toy with you."
"It was the truth and you know it. Spike, I need you strong, I can't be there to protect you , my friends and boyfriends end up being the first in the crossfire and are at risk all the time. I can't risk you"

Buffy hugged him and he dropped a kiss to the top of her head. He was still going to see Willow later. She hadn't convinced him , and wasn't he William The Bloody? He was his own man last time he checked, so if he wanted to be human, so be it!

Dawn sat laughing with Xander and Giles seemed hyper stressed, which meant his glasses took the full brunt of his frustrations.

"You won't have any lenses left you keep that up Watcher"

Giles tuckered his hanky away in his pocket and put his pecs back on.

"Tough day "
"Say that again, D'you know the spell would do that?"
"No. If I was in a better frame of mind I would research it but quite frankly ,I can't seem to care. As far as I'm concerned the threat of Angelus has been irradicated. Who cares how , why or by whom"

Spike nodded his agreement and left Giles to his deep contemplation. He glanced back at Xander and Dawn and smiled.

Buffy stood at the back door , leaning against the door jamb, looking at nothing in particular.

"Penny for them"

She was startled and turned to look at him over her shoulder "Not worth that much"
"Let me be the judge of that. You thinking about him?"
"What? Yes ... No .. maybe, I don't know. I was thinking about earlier, about how it must make you feel. To see him human and have the chance of a normal life. I guess I just thought you loved being the Big Bad too much to even think of becoming human. Do you? Love it I mean?"
"I used to" he stood as c lose to her as the sun would allow, which just seemed to prove the point of the whole conversation "But now? I have a reason to want to go into the sun Buffy, you and Niblet. Can't say that I wouldn't miss the power, probably would , but I'd gain so much , it wouldn't even be a sacrifice"

She stayed in the sun that streamed through the doorway. Spike leant against the wall, he wanted to tell her what he was considering but she had seemed so adamant about him staying a vampire.


Willow sat at the laptop, putting in all the details of the spell and the contributary factors. She sat back and stretched her arms over her head, clicking and popping her knuckles. Typing all day and sitting hunched over the laptop all day made you feel incredibly stiff. The programme whirled the facts figures and data across the screen and a code formed in the box at the foot of the screen.

"Of course! How did I not guess before now!"