Broken (AKA Beautiful Broken)

*

Xander walked the length of the warehouse carefully, not that he could do it any other way given his current predicament. After a full night of having his slave follow at heel, Spike on day two had resorted to more drastic measures to help Xander regain his graceful gait. The worst part, Xander thought as he reached the end and turned to walk back across the warehouse again, the worst part was that he himself had suggested this. Spike had despaired ever getting Xander’s gait back to its sensual swing and Xander had pointed out the hobbles in a tangle of slave gear Spike had bought from his trainer. So now Xander wore not his beautiful leather hobbles, but the more functional training hobbles.

As Xander’s concentration dropped, he took too large a step, and the chain running from his ankle cuff through the strap just below his knee and up to the loop around his cock and balls tightened, pulling at him hard enough to make him wince, and walk slower. Xander heard a yardstick slap across a counter on the other side of the cavernous room, and he knew his Master had seen that mistake as well.

Xander turned off his worries. Of course the part of him that had made fun of him for standing still as a vampire had hobbled him to his own genitals still made little comments in the back of his mind, but he reminded himself that this was the only way to get the girls back, and then he shoved those thoughts as far back as he could because those weren’t slave thoughts. He needed to be the slave, so he concentrated on moving the hip chains as he walked with minimal damage to his manly bits and tried to keep the decorations on his upper body perfectly still.

For the seventh or eighth time that night he managed to find the rhythm, one that depended on letting go of the guilt and worry just as much as focusing on the body. He found it and slipped into that perfect slave stride and felt that moment of pride in showing off his perfection, and then he heard Spike rattling around in another corner of the warehouse, and he fell out of the rhythm just as quickly and gave himself a painful jerk. Whatever Spike was doing, he was still paying attention because he could hear the yardstick slap against the concrete with a sharp report. Another sound of something shattering interrupted his gait and another slap of the yardstick reminded him he had an audience.

Xander reached the far side of the path his master had set for him when he felt the hand at his back and he jerked, causing his hobble chain to jerk him. If Spike had set the things as tight has his trainer had, he would have pulled his own balls off by now.

“Oi, your not supposed ta be jumpy, ‘specially not when I’m the one doing the touching.” Xander didn’t respond, but he simple lowered himself into the Position kneel grateful both for the break from the constant walking and for the chance to give the chain some slack. He held his hands behind his back despite the irritating urge to loosen the noose around his genitals or at least rub away some of the soreness.

“Knees,” Spike ordered, and Xander immediately shifted into a hands and knees position, his legs spread slightly and his head hanging. He felt Spike’s hand on his backside and he seriously hoped that Spike intended on doing something because sex would mean freedom from the hobbles. Instead Spike started with the talking, and Xander resisted an urge to roll his eyes at the vampire’s ability to talk…and talk…and talk.

“How many mistakes, pet?” he asked, and Xander thought back on the number of slaps he’d heard with the yardstick.

“Eleven, Master.”

“And did ya pull the hobbles every time?” Xander hadn’t, actually once he had somehow gotten distracted trying to figure what Spike had been doing wandering from the kitchen to a far corner and back again. He’d stopped until the slap of the yardstick had gotten him moving again.

“No, Master.”

“How many times then?”

“Ten, Master.” Xander had no sooner said that then a hand descended on his backside leaving a stinging handprint behind.

“How did ya earn that, pet?”

“By walking wrong, Master.”

“Nope,” Spike said with three more slaps in quick succession. “Can’t say I care about how ya walk as long as ya don’t trip on me with a stake like that poor bugger back in Sunnydale. Damn funniest thing I’ve seen in 120 years. Nope, I’d give ya eleven swats if that was the case and you’re only gettin’ ten. So how did ya earn these?” Two more slaps fell on Xander’s backside before he answered.

“I don’t know, Master,” Xander said as he reminded himself that he’d felt actual real physical pain, and this wasn’t it. He also reminded himself that he was not so emotionally attached that he cared about disappointing Spike. He was failing on both counts because somehow a small slap from Spike hurt him worse than the bullwhip in the hands of his trainer.

“Good answer, pet. If ya don’t know an answer, you can always just tell me that ya don’t know. I’ll take one off the end for givin’ the right answer.” Spike landed three more blows, and Xander could feel the stinging heat in his butt. “Those are for hurtin’ yourself. Ya know how to let go and get into this, but ya won’t let yourself. Ya keep pullin’ yourself back out of the moment and ya gotta let go and just trust me.” Xander listened and he realized that he was pulling himself back out of the moment, but he didn’t miss the irony of Spike hurting him because he’d hurt himself. Not really his choice though since he was the slave.

“Floor,” Spike commanded, and Xander put his forehead to the ground, his hands behind his back and his knees pulled up under his body. He could hear Spike circling and he tilted his head slightly toward the sound. “Lay out.” Xander flipped onto his back with his arms and legs spread, the hobbles pulled tight but not more than an uncomfortable irritation. “Butt up.” Xander rose and spread his feet as far as he could while bracing his hands on the floor in an awkward position that both left his dangling bits…well, dangling and stretched the hobble chains. Xander could still hear Spike circling and he wondered what the vampire was up to.

“Stand up, pet,” Spike ordered, and Xander stood. “Ya need ta trust me, pet. Ya didn’t fight Leshar because most of ya didn’t bloody care any more, and I want ya to care, so we have to find a new way for ya to give up the fightin’.” Xander didn’t like the sound of that, but he didn’t have a vote on the issue, and quite frankly, given a vote he would probably still go along since Spike was the only viable option for saving the girls. His pride had already taken such a beating, that a little more humiliation didn’t even seem worth noticing.

But then again, if this really wasn’t such a big deal, why couldn’t he get back into the swing? As things stood, he would never pass as one of Leshar’s slaves and the rapid loss of his training would mark Spike as either incompetent or as someone trying to break slave training, and given the nature of the slave business as Xander had seen it, neither judgment would be good for either Spike or Xander. This was a small group of collectors who considered humans to be animals to buy and trade, show off and sell, display like a classic car and brag about like a well trained show dog. This was a jealous and close group with the same demons showing up at Leshar’s club over and over. Most demons could grab a human themselves, but Leshar and the other slavers appealed to the very small group who wanted well trained humans to use like domestic pets/toys/slaves.

“So, we’re tryin’ a new game.” Xander realized he had mentally wandered off again only when he heard Spike’s voice. God he was screwed. Spike tapped him on the shoulder in a clear command to heel before he headed over to where he’d been working all day.

Xander followed Spike to the far side of the warehouse, and even in the low light, Xander could see the glittering pieces of glass on the floor...or rather, all over the floor. When Spike stopped at the edge of the sparkling field, Xander knelt and considered the sheer size of the littered area and the scent of alcohol from the broken glass and he wondered how long Spike had holed himself up here after getting out of the Initiative. Or maybe it was after Dru left him, just before he'd made his encore appearance in Sunnydale. Whatever the reason, the sheer volume of broken liquor bottles spoke of pain and a not so healthy reaction to it. Not for the first time, Xander found himself wondering just how close Spike and Buffy had gotten before her death.

"So, pet. Are ya ready?" Xander wanted to ask ready for what, but that wasn't a proper response. He looked at the path winding through the broken glass, the trail marked by a strange combination of items that looked like beads and unpopped popcorn kernels and possibly even little chunks of cut up electrical cords, although he wasn't sure on that last one. He looked at the clear path in confusion and gave the only possible answer.

"Yes, Master."

"Good, 'cause ya have ta learn to trust me, pet. I won't let ya get hurt, and I won't even let ya hurt yourself, but I can only do that if ya trust me." Xander knelt at Spike's side, wondering what the vampire was going on about, but then he felt the material on his face, the material settling over his eyes and tightening. Xander's heartbeat started pounding, but he took a few deep breaths to calm himself as his Master blindfolded him. Spike hooked something to his collar, the clasp thicker than the connections for his decorations so that he could feel the cold metal clasp pressing against his neck, and then he felt the pressure on his collar. Xander stood without complaint, taking a tentative step toward that maze of glass that would rip his feet to shreds with one wrong move.

After three steps, he felt something under his foot, and he pulled back in fear, but the leash didn't loosen, and he eventually figured out that the things under his foot irritated and annoyed, but they didn't cut. When the leash pulled him forward again, Xander slowly moved his second foot into the maze, again encountering the annoying debris under foot. Xander took a deep breath and reminded himself that Spike had no reason to hurt him. Well, no reason other than the vampire/human thing, but Spike seemed strangely non-lethal for a vampire these days. And there was the whole basement chair tying incident, but he thought Spike had probably gotten his own back with the cage. The leash started to tighten again, and as Xander lifted his foot, he could feel the things that had stuck to his foot falling off as he raised his leg. He stepped into the maze hesitantly.

Spike might not really want a slave around, after all the vampire had bought him to keep him quiet, Xander had no doubt of that. But he had proved himself, and Spike had started teaching him how to fight, which wouldn't make sense unless the vampire planned to keep him, so permanently maiming him didn’t seem very smart, not that Spike always went with the smart plan. The angle of the leash changed, and Xander took a step in the new direction of the pull.

His foot felt the uneven floor and he struggled with himself, knowing he had to put his foot down and struggling against the fear that he would feel the cut of glass. The leash remained taut but didn't pull as he finished his step.

"Hands," Spike said firmly, and Xander realized that his hands had come up front as if to balance himself. He put his hands behind his back, grasping his left wrist with his right hand. The leash pulled in a totally different direction, and Xander turned to follow, stepping forward with only slightly less hesitation, but again his foot only encountered the dull and annoying debris of the safe trail. He heard glass crunch under shoes as the leash pulled him forward again, and the sound of crushing glass froze him in place. While he expected some sort of motivation--a slap, a whip, a threat--instead the pressure on his collar remained firm but steady. Xander took several minutes to get a hold on his fear and then he followed Spike's lead, stepping forward into the darkness.

Again, his feet found the path and this time the leash pulled on without giving him a chance to stop. Xander followed the pull tentatively and then the direction of the pull changed even as the crunching glass sound continued ahead and to the right. Xander turned his head to the side, toward the sound of Spike walking over the glass shards.

"No, pet." Spike said, and Xander returned to face the direction of the leash's pull. By the time five minutes had passed, Xander finally followed the pull without question, trusting that Spike would never lead him into the glass around him. Just about the time he finally believed that in his heart he felt his hip chains banging around his knees and his back chains rattling against each other. Xander stopped in the middle of a step, and the leash went slack.

"Pet?" Spike asked.

"I'm sorry, Master," Xander answered, wanting to go to his knees, but aware that blindfolded he ran a real risk of kneeling into glass, something he’d rather avoid.

"You're doing fine. What ya apologizing for?" Spike sounded honestly confused, and Xander wished he could see Spike's face.

"I didn't..." he hesitated. "I didn't trust you," Xander admitted.

"Bloody hell, gave ya reason enough ta not trust me, so I'm not surprised. Fact is that when ya trusted me at the auction I was soddin' shocked. Didn't quite understand and don't feel particularly good about the way I handled ya that first night or so." Xander thought about that first night in the closet, and he felt like he was the one who should apologize; however, he had no permission to speak so he stayed silent and trusted Spike to understand.

"So, ya ready to keep goin'?" Spike asked.

"Yes, Master." This time when Xander stepped out, he concentrated on his stride, keeping his chains flowing and taking the delicate steps that wouldn't cause the hobbles to pull on his genitals. Feeling the air moving across his sweaty body, he took several deep breaths and just relaxed into following the leash with increasingly confident steps. Suddenly the leash stopped pulling and Xander stood still as he felt the leather from the leash fall down and brush against his chest. A small flash of panic interrupted his new found calm, but he reminded himself that Spike was still there as he heard the footsteps retreat through the glass.

"Forward," Spike's voice commanded from a distance, and Xander took a small step forward and stopped.

"Oi, didn't tell ya ta stop, pet. Now walk forward." Xander took a deep breath and took as small as steps as possible as he walked through the maze blind and without a hand to guide him.

"Stop." Xander happily stopped and then he heard the snap. "Right," the voice ordered, and Xander turned 90 degrees right as he'd been trained. "Forward," Spike said and Xander started walking again. By the time Spike called it quits on the maze, Xander was easily negotiating the path, trusting Spike's voice to guide him as he walked with a strut that made his hip chains flow around his legs. When Xander felt the bare concrete floor under his feet, he expected Spike to take off his blindfold, but instead the vampire's hand took the leash and led Xander back toward the living area.

"So, who are ya fightin' now?" Spike asked as Xander followed the leash's pull with swinging hips and a bowed head.

"The slavers, Master," Xander responded without hesitation. He felt that easy obedience slide over him like a comfortable cloak, but he accepted its weight because he was fighting to rescue the girls. He obeyed the pull on his collar; he bent his head submissively. However, he also understood that this was play acting and he found his inner actor. Too bad that this desire to get into his part hadn't existed back when he'd done the whole Greek tragedy thing on talent night, but better late than never.

He was actually proud of himself for the act he was putting on. He was, however, man enough to admit that he was a little hurt by Spike's lack of praise, not that he needed to be praised for learning to mindlessly follow again, but still. Praise was of the good. Someone really needed to tell the vampire who owned him that. Xander stopped when the leash stopped pulling and went to his knees before his mind had even processed the fact that they had stopped.

"Right, so what happens when ya do good, pet?" Spike asked.

"I don't know, Master." Xander felt his heart speed up some. He hoped for something really good since just following his master back to a table without a specific order got him the back chains. He couldn't even imagine what this breakthrough was worth.

"Ya get a reward, pet,” Xander felt something at his lips, and he opened his mouth to the taste of chocolate, the rich milk chocolate with the caramel in the middle. The kind that broke into squares, and Xander thought he had reached heaven. He ate and then opened his mouth before even feeling the touch at his lips, Spike held out the chocolate, and this time Xander remembered his training, pulling both the chocolate and the fingers into his mouth as he sucked and licked those sticky fingers before pulling back to enjoy the chocolate square. The blindfold meant that he didn’t know whether Spike planned on giving him more, so when he had finished, he didn’t open his mouth. Instead he waited until he felt the touch at his lips before opening his mouth. Again, the chocolate went to the side of his mouth while he licked and sucked and explored the fingers that had delivered the heavenly food. Xander continued until the fingers failed to return, and then he couldn’t help a little whine of complaint. Spike laughed.

“Ya can take a boy away from his chocolate, but ya can’t take the love of chocolate outta the boy,” Spike joked, and then Xander felt the pull of the leash, and he stood, feeling Spike unhook his decorations and then loosen the loop around his genitals before taking off the cuffs on his legs and ankles. It had been a long day of training in positions and practicing his walk and travelling the maze which had taken a couple of years off his life, so he was ready for his collar to be locked to the foot of the bed so he could curl up on the floor with a pillow and sleep, except Spike eased him backwards towards the bed. Xander was surprised, but he allowed himself to fall onto the bed backwards and then strong hands moved him up toward the head of the bed and he followed their silent commands by cooperating with squirming motions that helped work him up into position.

Then he felt Spike’s long body press down onto his, and Xander became aware of Spike’s hard erection, and his own cock swelled in response. Okay, for someone who wasn’t gay, that felt much more like genuine interest than a programmed response to a command, but Xander figured he had a right to appreciate Spike’s attention since the vampire actually was the gentlest love interest he’d ever had. Bug lady tried to eat him. Ampata tried to suck the life out of him, Faith threw him down, rode him, and then tried to choke the life out of him, and Cordie had sucked the manhood out of him, and Anya had sensed his already straining cracks and had moved right in to suck the fight out of him and turn him into her living experiment in human sexuality. Yep, Spike the vampire, Scourge of Europe and Slayer of Slayers, William the Bloody who raped beside Angelus himself was the gentlest, kindest love interest of his life and boy didn’t that just suggest that he needed to trust someone else because he wasn’t that trustworthy when it came to running his own life.

Xander almost groaned when Spike slid off to the side, lying on the bed next to him, and Xander wondered if Spike was going to chain him in the bed this time. Oh god, Spike didn’t expect him to just sleep without the chains, did he, and he had not just thought that. Xander started to groan at his own patheticness, but then he reminded himself to trust Spike no matter where Spike had him sleep.

“So, pet, ya showed real trust today, proud of ya,” Spike said. “Couldn’t have been easy trustin’ a vampire, and ya did it for the girls. Ya got bigger knackers than Angelus ever did; he’d run at the first sign of trouble and save his own hide, never mind who he left hangin’ in the lurch, or hangin’ in the chains for that matter.” Xander lay on the bed and enjoyed the semi-normal moment of sharing.

“So, I figured since you let me do the steerin’ before, I’d let you do it now.” Xander lay on the bed and tried to decipher that comment. Steer what? Xander was so tired that he certainly had no interest in driving anywhere and the first chocolate in six months had left him feeling satisfied and ready for sleep. Then Spike picked up his hand and placed it on an unmoving and muscled chest. “Ya can do what ya like, pet,” Spike offered, and the little ding-ding-ding bell went off in Xander head. Oh, he got to steer that. Xander reached up to take off his blindfold, and a hand intercepted his own.

“No pet, leave that on. You can do whatever ya like, and remember that ya can’t hurt me. You do what ya need to and I won’t hold it against ya because you gave me something important tonight, and I know that. So, you take what ya need back ta feel okay with this.” Xander froze, unable to figure out what Spike meant for a moment, and then it occurred to him. He almost laughed, and in a way he felt a strange sort of relief to know that Spike wasn’t perfect because as much as the vampire always seemed to understand him, this time Spike didn’t get him at all.

When Angelus had broken William, he could imagine the anger and the frustration the younger vampire must have felt considering that Spike came out of that break. Now that Xander had taken the step to actually submit to Spike, willingly and without fear of being returned to Leshar, Spike was offering the thing that he had wanted from Angelus: a chance at revenge. Xander felt his stomach actually knot at the idea that Spike was willing to lie there and let Xander get out his frustrations, especially since he only had one frustration right now. Of course, Spike had said he could do anything.

Xander allowed his hand to slowly start moving across Spike’s chest, feeling the muscles twitch under his fingers as he encountered the bumpy nipple. He allowed his fingers to explore its shape as he felt the skin harden and constrict under his attention. Xander left the one nipple and allowed his fingers to travel over to the second one, not wanting it to feel left out. He lowered his mouth to where he thought Spike’s mouth should be and gently kissed, hitting either the cheek or the chin, but when he went to kiss again, he found his lips meeting Spike’s briefly before he pulled back and began to earnestly explore.

His hands ran up to Spike’s face and he used his thumb to explore the scar interrupting Spike’s eyebrow, and then suddenly the contours changed under his fingers and he found his fingers running over the thickened brows and wrinkled nose.

Xander moved to straddle Spike and he felt his own cock brush against Spike’s and he imagined the sight of them lying side by side. Remembering how Spike had curled up against his body heat when they had slept in the same bed, Xander lowered his body onto Spike and slowly started moving, arching his back as he rubbed slowly, using small motions of his body against Spike’s, and he could hear a growl start from beneath him. Xander dipped his head down and stole a kiss using the sound as his guide for finding Spike’s mouth, and he was rewarded with the feeling of Spike’s lips parting under his own allowing his tongue to explore the demon teeth.

Xander now started to work his way down the body one inch at a time, kissing the smooth skin, stroking the strong sides, sucking the nipples, and nipping at Spike’s skin as he worked his way down to his final destination. The blindfold meant that he needed some sort of guidance to his goal, so he trailed his tongue across Spike’s belly button, through the curled hair and to his final prize where he licked up one side before taking just the head of Spike’s cock in his mouth, gently sucking as he ran his tongue around the end which now protruded from the foreskin. Spike wanted to know what Xander needed, and so Xander showed him by slowly sliding up and down on Spike, each time taking more and more of the vampire into his mouth until he could feel the cock hit the back of the throat and then he pushed down hard, taking the whole member in and swallowing around it.

If his mouth hadn’t been so full, Xander would have smiled as Spike suddenly lost control and bucked up into him, growling fiercely. When Xander pulled back to breathe, he felt Spike spring up and Xander lost contact with Spike’s body, the blindfold leaving him confused as he felt the bed tilting with Spike’s weight. Before he knew what had happened, the vampire had grabbed him by the waist and physically flipped him so that he lay on his side with his legs facing the head of the bed and then Xander felt the twitching member at his lips and he opened to take his prize. He had just started sucking at the head in preparation for deep throating when when he felt a mouth on his own cock, and his hand flew out to brace himself, his grip finding Spike’s hip as he tried to not forget his own task, but Spike’s cock was definitely getting ignored.

Xander started moving his tongue around Spike’s cock head when Spike pulled back and blew on Xander’s cock, and the sensation of cold quickly followed by Spike’s warm mouth nearly made Xander come, especially since he knew that Spike’s warmth was really just his own body heat absorbed by the vampire. He redoubled his own efforts knowing that he couldn’t hold off long if Spike used his full talents. Xander pulled back and wet his own finger before reaching around Spike’s leg to touch the sensitive raised entrance which he rubbed with his slick finger before working just the tip in.

He pushed his finger in just as he took Spike all the way into his mouth so that he could feel Spike’s balls against his nose even though the blindfold prevented him from enjoying the sight. He was at a bad angle, but he pushed his finger in toward Spike’s prostate even as Spike started massaging Xander’s balls. Xander had to pause to catch his breath, gasping through his nose as he pulled back a little, and then he deep throated and swallowed and found Spike’s elusive little bump, and suddenly Spike’s mouth came off his cock and Spike growled his completion and bit into Xander’s thigh. Xander had been fighting to keep from coming before his Master, so he had no problem falling over the cliff himself, but the feeling of heat and the strange, sensual itch radiating out from the bite and engulfing his cock left him gasping and bucking, so lost to his own orgasm that more of Spike’s come ended up hitting his face that getting neatly swallowed. When he finally formed words again, his response was rather limited.

“Gah,” he managed.

“Oi, I’ll meet that ‘Gah’ and raise ya a ‘Bloody hell,’” Spike replied in a dazed voice. Xander felt himself pulled up and Spike yanked off the blindfold, leaving Xander blinking from the sudden light and the lack of blood to his brain after every bit he owned had just taken a vacation in his cock.

“Ya surprised me, pet,” Spike said with clear blue eyes that seemed more amused that annoyed by Xander’s unexpected reaction. Xander resolved to surprise Spike very, very, very often if this was going to be the vampire’s response. He waited silently for a question, letting himself relax into Spike’s embrace and laying his head down on Spike’s shoulder.

“So, ya aren’t mad?” Spike asked as he lay down, pulling Xander down on top of him.

“No, Master,” Xander honestly replied.

“Think we’re leavin’ a day early, pet. I want ta find the girls, and I’m thinkin’ ya could fool Leshar himself.” Xander doubted that, but he hadn’t been asked for an opinion, so he settled in and closed his eyes. Spike had a plan, and if everything blew up, Xander suspected that he’d have a plan to cover the plan, so wasn’t going to worry.

“Are you feelin’ ready, pet?” Spike asked. Xander tried to find an answer that would fit how he was feeling, but the ‘yes, no’ format of the question made it hard. Spike must have guessed his difficulty.

“What are ya feelin’, pet?” Spike changed his question to.

“I think Leshar would be horrified at my behavior because I’m not the mindless slave he trained, but not everyone at the auction said kind things about him when they walked by us in the booth. I think some of the other trainers will think I am trained even better than Leshar could manage, and that’s going to impress them. I don’t know if I’m ready, but if you say I am, I trust your judgment because I do want to go after the girls,” Xander said. Spike was silent for a long time.

“Yeah, pet. We’re ready. That’s the longest bloody sentence you’ve said yet, and ya even managed a ‘want’ in there.” Spike said and the vampire’s arm tightened around Xander’s back. “So tomorrow we head to the Sacramento auction and we try ta figure out which collectors trade in witches. Xander fell asleep dreaming of auctions and soldiers and Spike eating Riley even if Giles’ comments had make Xander suspect that Riley had tried to help even if he had failed. Riley hadn’t protected the girls and now Xander and Spike were going to fix the soldier’s mistake.