The Future Is What We Make

TITLE: The future is what we make
AUTHOR: Willie J
EMAIL: wmj166@yahoo.com
ARCHIVE SITE(S): http://parrot.nearheralways.com/index.php, http://www.brain-insan.com/beyondcanon/, http://www.adult-fanfiction.org
PAIRINGS: A/X
RATING: NC-17
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Buffy et all, not Angel the Series.
FEEDBACK: YES!
DISTRIBUTION: List Archives
SPOILERS: Btvs Season 2, 3, 4 and up to Spike's chip.
BETA'D BY: James & Kris (two extremely fabulous beta’s)

Chapter 9

As they entered the hall, Taryn inclined his head politely to his fathers. They pointedly turned their backs on him making their disgust of his half-human children plain for all to see. And not by a flicker of his eyes did he show how much it hurt to have them reject him and his children.

He met his brother's gloating expression with a bland look, and watched his expression dissolve into frustrated rage. He glanced down at the touch on his arm and met Xander's sympathetic eyes. He allowed a tiny smile to cross his face….he had a family now and he didn't need his parents' approval...not for anything.

Sourd approached Lourdey, his hands trembling with eagerness. "May I…?" he asked hesitantly and at the other's wary nod, he hastily unwrapped the baby and gasped at what he revealed.

A undulating wail of joy rippled from his throat, "A QUEEN! We have a queen!!!!" he shouted holding her in the air triumphantly.

And the court went wild with undulating screams of joy and gladness...at long last their people had their promised Queen. Shouting joyfully, screaming and pounding one another they took little notice of the Hyperions eyeing them with trepidation.

Gradually they Jaztar excitement began to die down as they got a hold of themselves and they became aware of the silent group of humans and demons regarding them with watchful eyes.

"What is wrong, you should be glad that we have at last a Queen for our people?" Sourd said confusedly to the three Jaztar fathers.

Lourdey stepped forward and took Uhura gently from Sourd, turning and giving her to Harmony.

Taryn answered quietly, "You misunderstand, we do not have *a * Queen.... we have five Queens," and at the stunned sie ine in the wake of his words, he shifted Nico in his arms, "They are all female." Twisting he gave her into Forrest’s keeping, nudging the man behind him while he and Willow moved forward. He and Willow were the first line of defense.

"By the gods above and demons below," Saln whispered leaning forward on his throne as awed silence spread through the court. He eyed his son's consort speculatively, perhaps a tidy little accident could be arranged at some later date. Raising his head, he nodded as he met his son's cold eyes before they both looked away in total agreement.

"Five Queens," he shook his head in wonder. "You have outdid yourself my Jaztars."

He looked at Xander and said seriously, "Your daughters will receive every care and indulgence possible here. As their birth father, you may even visit with them in the royal nursery creche every year at a mutually agreeable time," he said generously especially since he wasn't going to agree to anytime the human wanted to visit with the children.

And once they were in his possession and under his guardianship, he would arrange a fatal accident for the Jaztar fathers, leaving him the only one the panicking kings could safely leave in power. How do the humans put it, he mused to himself: ‘Better the devil you know than the devil you don't’.

Eyeing Xander speculatively, he decided to add the human to his personal harem. If the man produced five queens, he would undoubtedly produce more and he could get rid of these five potential threats. And he eyed the three Jaztars staring at him with cold dislike, there was no way he was going to give up his power and position. Besides, he knew exactly who would be first on their list to die.

Xander snorted, "In the words of the immortal William the Bloody, I have two words to say to you."

Sourd raised a brow interestedly, "And what's that?"

"Bugger. Off!" was the succinct reply.

The court went deadly silent, before the Jaztars began growling ominously.

Sourd eyes narrowed and his lips tightened before he waved a dismissive hand at the growling people. The day he couldn't handle a one, or even a dozen, pesky humans was the day he gave up being the High Shaman.

"Clearly you do not understand the importance of the females to our race, that they must grow up among the Jaztar, learning our customs and history. What can they possibly learn amongans ans other than how to hate demons and other disgraceful, disgusting habits?" He shook his head, "In truth the children must grow up among their own kind."

"What the hell is Taryn, Jennes and Lourdey...chopped liver?! Our daughters need to grow up among the people that care for them the most, that love them. And since I have never been accused of being abusive to ANY of my children and I sure as hell am not about to start now. Every last child at the hotel has everyone, demons andans,ans, wrapped around their tiny little fingers and there is not ONE being at the hotel that is not willing to die for them." Xander was furious with these knuckleheads. Take his girls from him...from them?! It'll be a cold day in hell before he let that happen!

"You don't understand, they are our future," Sourd shouted just as angrily in the wake of the boy's refusal to cave in.

"And what do you think the girls are to us," Angel asked calmly enough, shifting into protective mode and stepping in front of Wesley who held the restless Jamie against his chest. Larry cradling Kris, faded back behind Andrew.

"They also represent our future," Cordy said softly, sng gng gently down at her beautiful little Bronze, the baby held securely in her arms. "Children are our way of living forever...so if you think you're gonna get your hands on our girls you bet better think again, you ugly, old bat!"

There was stunned silence and a couple Jaztars turned away, hiding their snickers of amusement.

Taryn raised a brow. "Perhaps we need to have another discussion on tact and diplomacy with her when we get back to the hotel," he murmured to Angel who nodded in rueful agreement.

Sourd gritted his teeth, "Take the children!" he growled to the guards as he stepped back.

Willow and Andrew stepped forward, drawing a handful of stones from their pockets, even as their Jaztars flanked them along with Angel.

“Foolish human, what do you think you're doing? You cannot touch us with your magic,” Sourd looked at them contemptously.

Willow and Andrew shared wicked smiles before Andrew spoke, “Au contraire Darth Vader. We discovered a very interesting fact about you Jaztars. While it’s true that our magic doesn’t effect you BUT not even Jaztar can get around the laws of physics: an object in motion tends to stay in motion.”

And they threw their pebbles into the air where the stones swarmed like a horde of angry bees.

Andrew narrowed hiss, “s, “Are you feeling lucky today?” He really wanted to add the word ‘Punk’ but since the geezer was older than he, it was kinda disrespectful. At least in his opinion. He needed to remember to ask Taryn, uh maybe not him, he’s was already mad at him for some crazy reason. If he didn’t have an opinion about who was the betteptaiptain, Kirk or Jean-Luc….well, he should have said something in the beginning instead of wasting other people’s time, Andrew thought indignantly.

Jennes sighed and tapped Andrew on the shoulder. And Andrew started, casting an apologetic look at the demon before refocusing hitenttention to the situation at hand.

Unfazed the guardsmen continued to move forward.

Xander was so terrified and enraged that all he could do was stomped his foot. And he was very much surprised at the half-circle of pearly gray light erupted from his foot…

…and slammed into the guards coming towards them, knocking them as well as Sourd off their feet.

"NO ONE is taking my children from me," he growled going with the flow of who had the bigger balls and he was totally unaware that his eyes had turned gray.

Sourd picked himself up painfully from the floor, shaken to the core. This…this was impossible! And then he looked in stunned disbelief at the liquilverlver-eyed man facing them. "What are you?"

"Your death if you push us," was the cold reply from Lourdey.

There was a flash of gray and the group disappeared from the court.


Everyone stumbled as they landed in the hotel, gazing at the furious, ranting Xander in open-mouth awe.

“Who the hell do he think he is,” he seethe, pacing angrily back and forth.

“What?! Did he think that if he snapped his fingers I was gonna give up MY children? Oh hell, no! You know what his problem is….he’s gotten too damn used to people jumping when he snaps his fingers, that’s what his problem is! Xander Harris does NOT jump for anybody, I don’t give a damn who they think they are!” Xander shouted, his eyes boiling with fury.

Mikey came down the stairs, and silently extended his unlaced sneaker to Xander, “I don’t jump for NOBODY! No sirree! I am a free, independent human. You ain’t gonna seeautoautomatically jumping at somebody command,” Xander said angrily as he knelt and tied Mikey’s sneakers.

Mikey looked down, then back up at Xander and pointed. Xander blinked and retied his shoes for him.

Taryn raised his brows and glanced at Lourdey.

“Yeah, just who did that fat sunnavabitcha think he is? Giving us orders like that…trying to take our girls. Ole lard bucket's problem is he’s gotten too used to people kissing his big ass,” Willow said furiously, giving the cooing Jamie to Doyle. She took the brush sil silently extended to her and brushed the girl’s hair gently, putting it in the little girl’s favorite hairstyle.

Jennes’ shoulders began shaking and he covered his mouth.

Angel’s lips started twitching and he determinedly stared at the wall, trying to control his laughter.

“A rat bastard! That’s what that withered old bat is…clearly they haven’t been around *normal* humans,” Cordy sneered, her eyes hot as she snapped her fingers and silently extended a hand. Buffy fished a bottle out of her bag for at the baby’s whimper, they both knew exactly what Bronze wanted.

Buffy snorted, “Yeah, we don’t jump for nobody!”

At that Jennes lost his fight to control hisghteghter, triggering the other three demons, as well as the everyone else in the hotel, into peals of laughter. Xander, Buffy, Cordy and Willow gave them all insulted looks, sparking more laughter from the crowd of people gathered in the hotel.

“You think the pressure’s gotten to them?” Cordy whispered to Xander, who nodded doubtfully watching the laughing group of people with misgivings.

A few days later, the Oracles stepped casually through the doors of the Hyperion as if they came here every day. And demons and humans alike looked at them slack-jawed, feeling a shiver of awe at the representatives of the Power That Be.

The Oracles strolled into the lobby, pausing at the flurry of activity that suddenly took place as people ran yelling for Angel to get downstairs quick.

Angel paused in what he was doing and lifted his head, frowning up into Xander’s nearly black, aroused eyes.

And twisting in the cradle of Xander’s thighs, Angel cocked his ear towards the growing commotion. “What the hell…?”

“Who cares... ignore them,” Xander moaned trying to push Angel’s mouth back down to his aching cock and he humped insistently against Angel, silently urging his vampire back to sucking him off.

“But Xander it sounds as if they’re saying something about the Oracles,” Angel replied resisting the tugging to gaze into the boy’s slowly cing ing eyes.

“Oracles…” Xander blinked, puzzled as to why their people would be yelling about the freakin’ Oracles.

Angel pushed himself to his knees and rolled out of the bed in one swift move. He grabbed his pants and pulled them on even as he tossed Xander his pants, “C’mon and let’s see what’s the commotion is about.”

Xander cast him a dark glance, “All I know it had damn well better be crucial or some-fucking-body is gonna get an ass whooping of a lifetime for interrupting us during our quality time.”

Angel flashed him a brief amused glance, “You are a sex maniac!”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing…” came the wicked smirk.

Angel laughed and planted a deep possessive kiss on the lush mouth. “C’mon, before they barge in here.” He slid his hands into the loose drawstring pants and briefly palmed the naked globe swe sweet heated flesh. He dipped a thick finger into the needy hole...soon they would go beyond the honeyed caresses, intense blowjobs and mutual masturbation sessions.

Sighing and casting a wistful look back at the rumpled bed, they left and headed for the stairs. Raising surprised brows at the sight of the Oracles standing in the lobby.

“Well, that’s a new one,” Angel muttered, walking carefully down the stairs, his arm wrapped around Xander’s waist.

Standing before the Oracles uneasily and very much aware of everyone’s eyes on them, Angel discretely d tod to push Xander behind him…still eyeing the Oracles warily. Whatever they wanted, and he KNEW they wanted something, he did not want Xander to get hurt.

The female smiled, “Are you happy Alexander LaValle Harris and pleased with your life?”

Xander glanced up at Angel and smiled as well. “Extremely, if I was any happier man I’d be floating around.”

The watching denizens cled,led, relaxing their tense stances….if Xander could laugh and joke, the situation couldn’t possibly as grim as they thought.

Buffy, Willow and Cordy exchanged glances before silently moving up behind Xander, their faces strained…when the going got bad, Xander started cracking jokes, anything to relieve the tension.

“And are you happy with your mate?” the male Oracles asked softly.

Xander just grinned shyly, avoiding making contact with anyone’s eyes as he shuffled his feet.

“Then isn’t it time you made your decision,” the male requested gently, a quiet smile on his face.

Xander smiled as he looked into Angel’s hopeful eyes, “Then my answer is….,” he began.

“Wouldn’t you like to hear the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth…so help you God?” came a mocking voice from the opened door.

“Lilah Morgan,” Angel growled looking past the Oracles, “And Lindsay McDonald?! What the hell are you two doing here?!”

“Funny thing about that,” Lindsay said coolly. “You know when the senior partners tell you to jump, you don’t ask where from or how high…you just jump and pray that you land on your feet or better yet, on somebody back.”

“Begone humans, this is no concern of yours,” the female Oracle said calmly, her eyes narrowed on the two lawyer’s faces.

Lindsay regarded the protective way Angel was standing next to the young man, “Ooooh Angel, I like your little boytoy. Is he any good? Maybe when you’re finished with him you can toss him my way, I would love to see what you taught him.”

And he smirked at the furious growl the vampire made, blinking as the kid simply put his hand on Angel’s arm stilling the raging creature.

“Sorry, no can do, Casper,” Lilah shook her head. “Senior Partners got wind of what you were gonna do and sent us over here to make sure you tell him everything…and by everything…they mean Every. Little. Thing.”

“What are they talking about,” Xander looked at the Oracles who were now glaring at Lilah and Lindsay.

The female’s jaw tightened. “I forsee a long and painful death for you,” she spoke coldly to the lawyers.

Lilah and Lindsey exchanged glances. “Yeah, so what’s your point?” Lilah said calmly.

“Nothing, now please make your decision,” the male said shortly to Xander.

Xander raised a brow, glanced up at Angel, then back at the Oracles. “You tell me what the hell is going on and THEN I’ll give you my decision.”

The Oracles fell silent, their faces still and remote.

“You two apparently know what’s going on, so start talking,” Xander snapped, rounding he she smirking lawyers.

“From what I understand, you have a decision to make between the Powers of Light and Dark, correct?” And at Xander’s hesitant nod, Lilah continued, “Well, considering what you apparently think you have with the Dark Avenger, if you choose the Light, you can’t have him. Demons can’t exist in the Light, you see.” And she smirked at the horrified look on everyone’s faces, oh how she loved this job!

Shaken, Xander turned to the Oracles. “Is what she says true?” he demanded to know.

“ANSWER ME, damn you!” he screamed, his eyes turning gray.

“Yes,” came the reluctant answer. “All that is of demonic nature will cease to exist.”

“My daughters,” Xander choked out, his eyes wide. “Doyle, Angel, my friends…all gone?!”

“You fuckin’ lying bastards,” he suddenly growled and opened his mouth…

“And if you choose the Dark, then all humans, save you, will be extinguished and demons will rule the world in truth as wes fas fact,” both Oracles intoned calmly.

“Oh shit…” came the shaken whisper behind him.

“Get out,” Xander managed to get out from his tight throat, “All of you GET OUT!”

“Hold up,” Lilah exclaimed, holding up a hand. “The bosses wanted us to give you another message. They said, and I quote, ‘Should you choose the Light, they will burn this world to ashes’, end quote. You have three days to decide,” both she and Lindsay smiled mockingly as they turned to go.

“And you,” Xander looked at the calm faces of the Oracles, “What’s your threat?”

“We cannot allow this world to fall into the hands of darkness,” the female stated with quiet finality.

“So it’s damned if I do and damned if I don’t, huh? Either way, everyone dies,” Xander simply looked at the Oracles in disgust before turning away and mounting the stairs slowly.

“As of this moment, I am no longer in the service of the Light. You are not worthy of licking my ass,” Angel hissed at them, his eyes liquid gold before turning and going after his mate.

There was cold hostile silence in the lobby, then one by one, the denizens of the Hyperion turned their backs on the shaken Oracles.


Upstairs Xander lay huddled in bed, his eyes blank as he tried to cope with the enormity of the decision before him. He began laughing uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face…this was no decision…no matter what he decided, the world…his world would die. Angel, Spike, his children, Willow, Cordy…everybody all gone. Feeling strong arms wrap around him, he leaned into the embrace and began crying…there had to be a way out…there just had to be!

And late into the night, the answer came to him….

He slid out of Angel's arms and walked over to the cribs, just stood there gazing down at his daughters. Then padded to Mikey and Jocy’s room, pulling the covers over them with trembling hands …bu …but did he have the determination to do it, sacrifice everything, he wondered.

Gazing down on his children and for the first time, he finally comprehended the sheer agony Buffy must have felt when she went to destroy...no call it what it was, he thought painfully...when she went to kill the demon that wore her lover's face: Angelus.

Please let me be as strong, he prayed silently as slow hot tears dripped from his eyes.


And for a day and a half, he struggled to build his strength, his self-control. Denying himself the comfort of Angel's arms around him, punishing himself for what he had to do. Withdrawing from his friends and family, denying himself the pleasure of their company and support.

Growling, Angel watched Xander drift around the hotel with angry eyes. Whatever was wrong, he knew the boy needed him, despite the contants rebuffs the young man kept giving him. Finally he had had enough, especially when Xander moved out of their bedroom.

Calmly he told Willow to put a Silence spell around his room before he marched up to Xander, sparing a brief smile at Willow's look of relief. Grag Xag Xander, he threw the yelling, screaming boy over his shoulder and ran up the stairs into their room with his captured treasure.

And locked the door.

"Now, you're going to tell me what's wrong and together we are going to fix it," Angel said firmly. "I don't give a damn what the Dark or the PTB said, I refuse to give up...not on this world and not on you."

Gazing at Angel's calm face, Xander sat on the bed and burying his face in his hands, he talk...and talked. Backtracking through sobs, he tried to explain what he needed to do...the only thing that he coul.
.

Stunned, Angel could only join Xander on the bed and pulled the boy to him. Simply holding on as the young man cried. "You do what you have to do," Angel whispered, smiling painfully down into the tear stained face. "I love you. I just wish...," he broked off, looking away.

Xander looked up at him, "We still have today," he whispered quietly, smiling shyly at the hopeful look Angel turned on him. Hesitantly leaning up to kiss him, feeling his dark mood turning e ine in the wake of the passion surging through him. If he had to do this, then at least he would have this one night to treasure. He crawled to the center of the bed, and slowly began removing his clothes, giving Angel a coy look over his shoulder before laying down, waiting and squirming impatiently for his vampire lover to join him.

Angel smiled, his body tightening with ravenous need as Xander, with eyes hot with knowledge that had never been there before, squirmed and writhed enticingly, wantonly for him.

And he deliberately made Xander wait for him, every instinctive screaming at him to slam himself into the boy's tight heat. But the predator in him insisted on savoring the bounty spread before him, knowing that anticipation only made the meat that much sweeter.

He couldn't get enough of just watching that beautiful body in his bed, lusting for him, and that new aware look in Xander's eyes that told him that the boy was starting to know what it meant, to exercise his sexual power.

The boy could have him on his knees in a heartbeat just by giving him that look but not until he had penetrated Xander and stuffed himself as deep as he could go. Not yet would he give in to the incredibly seductive figure. And slowly, he stripped away his clothing so that he was finareverevealed to his boy, naked, pulsing, but still in control. He was huge, a thick rock-hard cock emerging from a thatch of dark wiry hair between his thighs.

At the sight of Xander...his Xander, naked and splayed for his viewing pleasure, he almost came then and there. It was almost too much, but not for him. Even though he was ready to come, just by touching his boy's supple flesh, he ruthlessly controlled himself and just eased into Xander's gripping flesh, so that the very tip of his cock just kissed the wrinkled flesh.

Xander whimpered slightly, as he felt Angel just resting there. He had almost forgotten just how big Angel was and with just the tip of him inserted in him, he instantly felt the surging power that Angel held rigidly in check.

Control...that was what he wanted. This long aching glide deep into Xander's body...that sweet moment of possession, to watch those beautiful eyes widened in scorching pleasure. He needed to remind Xander just how good they were together and to never EVER forget him. Never forget them and what they had together. He wanted Xander to feel him take him inch by long, hard inch as he pushed himself deliberately inside his boy.

He gave his baby another inch, sliding in deeper, feeling Xander opening wider to take him…enfold him. He rested just there, for a long breathless minute, to let Xander fell the iron hardness filling him, the heaviness…the power.

Xander keened softly as Angel breeched him even further, another bone-hard throbbing inch, and he moaned because there was so much more of him to take. He felt so hot, his cock was like iron, and Angel....he was the center of his world, a world that he didn't want to escape. He writhed against the hard thrust of the long cool shaft, trying to entice his lover to come further within his tight heat, wanting to feel Angel's hard cock undulating, pounding between his legs.

Angel clenched his teeth against the grasping channel, pearling up at the sight of the wanton, squirming body; every impulse, every instinct screaming at him to slam into the hot tight heat, where he belonged. He had to...he was so tight.....so open....so-----one stroke----as he reared back----one tight hard thrust....he grasped Xander's thighs....and he rammed himself deep into Xander's spasming she

Xander screamed, long and loud, as Angel took him with that final lunge, piercing him to the core....and then he was in, deep, deeper still, feeling the wiry brush of hair against his ass....and he was finally home.

Angel gasped at the sensation of blistering heat as he ground his hips into Xander. He pulled back and slid inside his boy with a deliciously long, hard stroke making them both cry out in ecstasy…and then he began to move almost involuntarily, rhythmically within the body beneath him.

"YES!.... yes...oh God YES!" Xander kept crying out as his body was battered relentlessly under Angel's pounding strokes. He felt like everything in him was focused on Angel, Angel's need, his demands, his....he gasped feeling his boduddeuddering under the ceaseless pounding that had him arching like a cat in heat.

Mutely, eagerly he begged for more. More of Angel touching him, more of that long hard cock sliding over his pleasure spot…again and again where his body craved it. Where nothing else mattered but this mindbending climb to ecstasy. Feeling his body stretching to welcome Angel home, to take every last rock-hard inch as his lover moved like a piston, to feel every thick, glorious stroke, to give back to his mate all the sensation that he was feeling.

He felt Angel's fingers dig deep in his ass, pushing him in deeper....

But even Angel couldn't hold on to his rigidly controlled desire as he thrust almost uncontrollably into Xander's tight passage. In and out…in and out until finally his straining body couldn't hold on, and with one last thrust, he rammed himself hungrily, firmly against the hot sweaty body beneath him and felt himself convulsing in a long, aching howling cry of release.

Xander screamed his climax. His body stiffening, shuddering, writhing in his orgasm, his eyes blind to everything but the pleasure coursing through him. Until finally, he sank heavily back down on the bed, panting hoarsely looking up at Angel with glittering eyes and tentatively wiggled.....Angel was still hard.

Thick creamy cum slowly seeped out of him....and Angel was still hard.

"Not done yet, my love," Angel whispered huskily in Xander's ear, he was still hard and ready to push the boy against the any available surface and pound eagerly into his heat. His desire for Xander burned through his body as he shifted within the boy's clenching sheath.

And slowly, he began arching lazily into Xander, loving the tiny gasp his beautiful lover made. He pulled Xander tighter to him and undulated slowly against him with a long, pulsating stroke that caught them both by surprise.

"An...gel," Xander whimpered as Angel began to move, to thrust again and again in him. Feeling his body shuddering in time with the achingly hard thrusts, feeling himself ready for whatever Angel was going to do, to give to him. A hot surge of excruciating pleasure coursed through his body and he arched upward to meet Angel's thick powerful lunges...storing up memories..ugh ugh to last him a lifetime.


But the Dark powers were never patient...


Xander gazed out over the rooftop, in the distance he could see wisps of smoke rising into the air and swallowed hard, imagining what it must look like close up. He gripped Angel’s hand tightly, looking out over the city with unflinching eyes…
this was all his fault!

The Oracles pushed uneasily through the angry muttering people on the roof and stood behind the young human, regarding him bla blank, impassive eyes.

“There is still time to change matters.” The female quietly stated.

“Wouldn’t it at least be better to save your human friends rather than see them suffer?” the male asked persuasively.

And at the continuingenceence, the male lost patience, thundering, “CHOOSE!”

Xander turned around slowly, his eyes an incandescent, luminous gray and he smiled painfully at them.

“I’ve already did…” he whispered to them.

“Wha..,” was all the Oracles has time for as a burst of energy exploded from Xander…

....and the world dissolved in a burst of gray light....

In Willow's hospital room, Xander was sitting on the far side of the room, watching Willow and Oz hold hands.

Cordelia started pacing as she spoke, “So Buffy's going for the big showdown, huh? Wish we could help. You know, without dying,” she tossed the comment absently to Xander.

“I don't see how,” Xander sighed, feeling a frustrated and angry at the whole Angel/Angelus thing.

Willow looked down and spoke softly, “I wanna try again.” She almost didn't dare meet Cordy or Xander's eyes.

“Try what?” Oz looked at her puzzled.

“The curse. We never got to finish it. Maybe we *can* restore Angel's soul,” she lifted her head and met his eyes, a hopeful look on her face.

Xander shook his head, “I don't like it. You're talking about messing with powerful magic, and you're weak.”

“I'm okay,” she replied insistently, not wanting to admit that she felt on the brink of collapse. This was for Buffy, and incidentally for the rest of them too. With Angelus gone, no moorriorries about when he was going to kill them. She was so tired of being afraid.

Xander, however was looking particularly stubborn. “You don't look okay.” He turned to Cordelia, “Does she?”

“You should listen to him. The hair, it's so flat, and the lips...” Cordy stumbled to a halt at the look Xander gave her.

Xander rolled his eyes and sighed, “Could we stay on topic here, honey?”

“What?” Cordy looked at him indignantly, he asked her a question...what, did he want her to lie to Willow?

Xander looked determinedly at Willow, “Look, it's not a good idea....”

But Willow interrupted him, “There's no use arguing with me. Do you see my resolve face?” And she firmed her face before continuing, “You've seen it before. You know what it means. This can help Buffy. If we turn Angel back soon enough, we can stop him from ever awakening Acathla.” She looked around and saw reluctant agreement in Cordy and Xander's eyes.

Oz got out of his chair. “Okay, I pretty much missed out on some stuff, didn't I? Because this is all making a kind of sense that's... not,” he said confusedly.

“Go with Cordy to the library and get my things. She'll fill you in,” Willow told him.

“Sure,” he said and kissed her hand before turning to Cordelia. “I'll drive.” And he walked out of the room with Cordy close behind him.

Xander got up, feeling decidedly uneasy about this but despite his major case of the wiggins about this whole idea, he knew he would go along with the plan.

“Xander, go to Buffy. Tell her what we're doing. Maybe she can stall.”

But he had to try one last time to convince her of the serioudnesdness of this id“But“But I...”

“Resolve face.”

Then sighing, Xander gave in. And with one last admonishment of 'Be careful' to Willow, he left the hospital room.

Xander raced to the mansion. As he took the shortcut through the stand of trees, he was hoping to either get there before Buffy did or at least catch her before she went Red Sonja on Angelus. And between one step and the next, Xander entered a gray misty void and almost stumbled to his knees. Soft, cottony mist seethe gently around his feet as he looked around. Everywhere he turned, nothing but gray cloudy mist undulated and flowed around him.

Uh oh, Toto…I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, he thought uneasily and blinked as he could hear his thoughts echoed in...in where ever the hell he was. Delighted and momentarily forgetting his urgent mission, he began thinking Willow's name, then Buffy and Cordy's snickering at the echos.

Then pictures, images he recognized easily from his past began forming on the soft, billowing clouds.

He whimpered...oh no, I'm dead! He blinked as he saw Buffy walking to the mansion, Angelus' mansion with a cloth wrapped bundle...waitaminute, he thought, frowning in confusion. What the hell?! I haven't even done that yet, he thought indignantly.

He watched the grim desolate look in Buffy's eyes quickly replaced by overwhelming joy and smiled bitterly, yep, it must be me. Only I would do something so stupid like tell her that Willow's redoing the Soul Restoration spell.

Then he watched as hordes of demons emerged from the mansion as he helped Giles escape...

....and his sto hea heaved as he watched Giles screaming form disappear under the ravenous demons....

...then a beautiful dark-hair girl appeared in another image along with two little kids that he knew instinctively belonged to him....

...he swallowed thickly as an image of Sunnydale formed, with demons walking the streets casually, some with humans on chains...

...then came Joyce Summers' ravaged face...

...an exhausted Willow as she was firmly cradled in Oz's arms, a tiny squirming bundle that both were looking down at in awe...........three male demons holding tiny bundles and Xander wondered why in the hell would he allow fuckin' demons to hold HIS children, instinctively recognizing that they also belonged to him...

Then he saw Angel's face and he grim. O. Obviously now he gotta be seeing things from Buffy's perspective at that look of love and adoration on the vampire's face. He swallowed uncomfortably at the look of raw passion on Deadboy's face in another image and shifted restlessly.

Xander sighed as more images of Angel wavered into view. All showing evidence of the vampire making love to Buffy. Apparently Deadboy got his soul permanently anchored, he groused to himself.

And he finally admitted the truth, that much love in Deadboy's eyes couldn't be denied and maybe it was time that he stopped being such a fuckin’ idiot, step aside and be the better man. Hot tears filled his eyes as he gazed at Angel's face. So filled with love and passion that it even made his heart pound, and he felt a bewildering tightening in his crotch.

Someday he hoped to have someone look at him that way.

Then another imaged slowly formed and he saw, with sick horror filling him, a city in flames and he had a very bad feeling that burning cities were definitely not something you saw every day…

And a shadowy figure stepped out of the mist...

He was shocked to see it was him. Well, sure he was a very much older him, a taller him...a thinner version of him but definitely a him him, he thought confusedly as the figure halted before…well, him.

//Uhm, is that my future?/ he asked uncertainly, gesturing to the images formed on the billowing mist.

The r nor nodded slowly, ancient pain in the dark gaze.

//How...what happened?// Xander questioned the other shakily.

And all the images disappeared, save one...the look of joy and happiness in Buffy's face as she headed towards the mansion.

//So, Buffy failed to stop Acathla from opening, so what does that mean for the rest of us?// he thought carefully to his other self.

OH SHIT! echoed loudly though the misty landscape as images appeared, first of Giles dying, sundednded by demons; followed in succession by images of demons walking confidently around Sunnydale; broken TV’s and other electronic equipment abandoned; then finally an image of a city burning then nothing.

//Are you saying that Acathla opened and all this shit happened?//

His other self shrugged and gestured to the images.

//Then some of this happened because Acathla opened?//

His other self nodded in sadness.

Xander blinked and swallowed heavily, his eyes fixed on the image of Giles dying and of demons walking arrogantly on the streets, beating humans viciously and no one doing a thing to stop them. No Slayer stopping them.

//I told Buffy that Willow was doing the spell didn’t I?//

His other self looked down and nodded.

Xander took a deep shaky breathe //What can I do to fix things, not tell her?//

His other self nodded hesitantly.

//Oh God, there’s more?// Xander thought horrified.

Then two images appeared, himself as he was now and the figure before him, then the two figures merged. Xander turned and looked at his other self, then back to the images before sighing and nodding his head in sad resignation.

His other self stepped closer, touching his face gently before smiling and his eyes became a luminous pearl gray….

…Xander grunted and almost cried out as he fell to the leaf strewn ground, writhing.
While low perspers of pain hissed from his tightly clenched mouth. His body arched slowly, higher…higher, balanced primarily on his head and feet, his body a torturous bow of agony. Then he slumped down painfully.

His eyes snapped open as luminous pearly gray faded to chocolately brown eyes. Aainfainfully he got to his feet, staggering, slumping weakly a tree…his two selves now one.

Dear God, please give me the strength to do this, he prayed as he watched Buffy walking towards the mansion. A determined look on her face and a sword, wrapped in cloth, cradled in her arms.

It was time.

He came running out of the bushes on the hillside and jumped into the street in front of her, watching as she started and took a reflexive step back.

“Xander,” she exclaimed, the fear clearing from her eyes.

Xander smiled crookedly, “Cavalry's here. Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here,” he said holding up a large rock. Marveling at how easily the words came back to him. Buffy silently held out a stake to him and gratefully he took it, tossing aside his rock.

“That's better,” he said in satisfaction, eyeing the pointy stake. He ran to catch up with Buffy as she began walking, talking over her shoulder.

“You're not here to fight. You get Giles out, and you run like hell, understood? I can't protect you. I'm gonna be too busy killing,” she said grimly, pulling the cloth off the sword.

Xander looked at the uncovered sword with a raised brow, “Now, that's a new look for you.”

“It's a present for Angel,” she replied with cold determination in her eyes.

“Willow….uhm, she told me to tell you...,” Xander stammered. Wondering if he could do this, to possibly condemn Angel to hell. But it wasn’t Angel, it was Angelus. But he knew it would soon be Angel.

And even as his soul screamed in despair….

Buffy looked hopeful, “Tell me what?”

…he lied, “Kick his ass.”

Crushing her hopes…and killing his soul.


Spike sat in his wheelchair, looking bored while Angelus and Drusilla stood at one end near a large fireplace. On the other side, was Acathla and the two other vampires standing on either side of the statue.

Angelus began the ritual with demented glee.

"Acathla... Mundatus sum... pro te necavi. Sanguinem meum... pro te effundam," and he stepped slowly towards Acathla, "Quo me dignum... esse demonstrem.

Angelus cried, "Now, Acathla...," as Drusilla handed him a knife.

"...You will be free." And he drew the blade across the palm of his hand and hissed in pain, but never taking his stare off of the demon as he dropped the knife.

He smiled evilly, "And so will we all."

Buffy came in quietly behind the other vampire, raised her sword and neatly decapitated him with a single swing. He crumbled to ash as his head fell to the floor.

Drusilla and Angelus turned their heads to look. And Buffy met their gazes with little emotion, finally understanding that this was no longer her Angel. She smiled coldly, "Hello, lover."

"I don't have time for you," Angelus waved her away in boredom.

Buffy snorted, "You don't have a lot of time *left*."

"Coming on kind of strong, don't you think? You're playing some deep odds h Do Do you really think you can take us all on," he asked mockingly.

Buffy smirked, "Actually, I don't." Watching as Spike got out of his wheelchair behind Angelus with a determined look on his face and slammed a andiron brutally across the other vampires back. Angelus bellowed in pain and collapsed to the floor.

Drusilla twisted her head to look at Spike in astonishment as he continued to whale on Angelus as hard as he can and Buffy started for Drusilla. And another vampire attacked her. She spun around to face him, but he punched her and she fell to the floor. She lashed out with her leg and she tripped him when he came at her again then got to her feet, ready to fight. He came at her again with a series of punches, all of which she easily blocked.

All the while Spike continued to pound on Angelus.

Spike sneered, "Painful, isn't it?" as he swung the andiron again and again. Drusilla freaked, and jumped on Spike, taking him down to the floor with her.

Buffy's assailant backhanded her in the face, and she staggered into a chair. Quickly she recovered enough to block another swing, before she brought her knee up into his gut and then kicked him in the face. He hit the ground hard.

The vampire got to his feet just as Xander came into the room and surprised him with a haymaker. And for a brief moment, Xander froze as he watched Angel...no Angelus get beat down by Spike...desperately wanting to defend his...but Angel wasn't his...not here...not now...maybe never.

Xander swallowed hard and backed away to look for Giles as Buffy grabbed a suitable piece of scrap wood and got back to the business of killing demons. The vampire ducked her roundhouse kick and blocked another kick.

Spike and Drusilla got up from the floor and faced each other. "I don't want to hurt you, baby," Spike said softly, his eyes soft and tender.

Drusilla snarled and responded by grabbing him by the throat and shoving him into the wall. But he slapped her arm aside and punched her in the face. "Don't mean I won't, though."


Willow cast the es aes and gave Oz his cue; Cordelia kept waving the burning herbs and incense.

"Quod perditum est, invenietur," Oz intoned. "Not dead... nor not of the living. Spirits of the interregnum, I call," Willow chanted.


Xander shivered as he felt the magic building. Please let this work...please. He pushed aside a curtain to another room and found Giles tied to a chair. He shook, it had been so long since he had seen that beloved familiar face and all he could think was, Omigod, please don't let me be too late...not again. God, I can't fail again, he thought shakily. Praying that this tiny change was enough to make a difference. But, God he was so terrified because this was EXACTLY how everything happened before.

"Giles! Giles!" Xander rushed to the Watcher's side.

Giles' head was tilted back, and he was very weak but he lifted his head slowly at the sound of his name.

Xander swiftly crouched behind the chair and began frantically to untie the ropes. Urging his hands to hurry...if Buffy failed...if she failed...he shut the door hastily on that thought. It has to work this time, he thought fiercely.

"Xander?" Giles said hoarsely, in disbelief.

"Yeah, can you walk?"

Giles blinked slowly before he weakly denied what he saw, "You're neal.eal."

"Sure, I'm real," Xander insisted, his fingers trembling as he forced them to move faster, cursing the stubborn knots.

"It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want to...," Giles rasped out insistedly and firmly closed his eyes.

Xander finally got the ropes untied. Then he leaned over and looked into Giles' face.

"Then why would they make you see me?" he asked, with a crooked smile as he urged the man to his feet.

Giles blinked, "You're right. Let's go."

And he groaned as Xander got under his arm and helped him out of the chair....

....and that was all I remember happening," Xander finished his tale quietly. He made sure to leave out the part where he and Angel had becamversvers. Buffy definitely wouldn't have taken that bit of news well, he thought eyeing her.

"I was married to Oz and had a baby…?" Willow murmured, her eyes wide in astonishment.

"I was a crazy, powerful witch?" Tara stammered, blinking and turning to Willow. "And you killed me?!" her voice rose in a near shriek of horror.

"Doyle was alive…" Cordy whispered softly, a gentle smile on her face.

"Wait a minute, I was courting the Witch?" Spike yelled, his blue eyes blazing with indignation.

"Hey, at least you were there," Gunn snorted, "I was probably demon food." And he looked hopefully at Xander, who shrugged his shoulders with a smile.

Angel eyed Xander with a narrow glance, watching as a warm flush spread across the boy's face when he met his eyes.

"Why was Angel in bed with you?" Buffy asked suspiciously, squinting at Xander and Angel. There was something going on.

"Because I had been attacked once already," Xander explained patiently. "Angel decided that he wasn't gonna be taking any more chances and it was his night to sleep with me." He failed to mention that all the nights belonged to the vampire, and remembering some of those nights he felt a stirring in his groin and his incessant horniness increase.

Banging his head against Taryn's arm in morbid amusement. He thought, guess it's gonna be another date with Mother Fist.

"Oh my GOD, you're pregnant!" Cordy shrieked, startling everyone into silence.

Xander looked around at the stunned faces. "I thought that would have been obvious," he stammered.

And there was awed silence as he pulled up his shirt and they saw his gently rounded belly.

"I'm only about a seven weeks along, but we figure that things should move the same way. And if we're lucky, I'll have girls again," Xander smiled as he remembered his beautiful daughters and swallowed heavily at the thought of his other lost children.

"Dear God, Xander what did you do.." Giles finally whispered, connecting all the information.

"The only thing I could do," Xander whispered, slow tears spilling down his face. "This way, you'll at least have a chance. And Buffy I want...I want to apologize for how I treated you during the Angelus thing. I...I realize how it must...," Xander stopped and looked up at the ceiling trying to control himself. "I realize how it must have almost destroyed you to kill Angelus and I just want to say that I'm sorry." With that Xander jumped up and hurried away.

Buffy snorted, "Well, he should be sorry!" she snapped and received a hard slap across her face that nearly knocked her to the floor.

She gasped and held her cheek as she looked up into Giles furious face.

"Have you always been such a thoughtless, foolish child or is this a recent filthy habit that you decided to try? For if it is the later, I suggest that you lose it...quick," he growled down into her stunned eyes.

"But Giles, he lied and forced me to kill Angel," she tried to say, recoiling at the look of burning contempt in his eyes.

"Perhaps you need your hearing tested as well," Giles remarked coldly.

Buffy sputtered in confusion.

"Buffy, stop your twittering and listen! That young man that you are so contemptous of, has gone through hell...for you, me and almost everyone in this room. He sacrified everything he knows, als frs friends, his very children to give this world another chance! And you still ran away!"

“Yet you sit here bleating about Angel....Angelus murdered my lover, you silly little girl! And I....I, like the great soddin' fool that I am, agreed to your incessant whining demands for your precious Angel to have his bleedin’ soul restored. Now, you site…ine…in the boy's own bloody house in fact, berating him," Giles finished in a thunderous roar.

"You will shut up and sit down, or by God I will turn you over my knee and wallop your foolish ass," he said coldly, his eyes burning with icy fire.

Shaken and stunned, Buffy sat down quietly.

Cordy strongly resisted the urge to applaud Giles…and they say *I* have no tact, she snorted.

"My apologies, sirs," Giles turned to the three Jaztars and inclined his head.

Taryn merely lifted a brow in acknowledgement. “Xander has told us much of you and I thank you for dealing with this matter. He would TALK to us if we killed her,” he shook his head ruefully, before swiftly departing along with Jennes and Lourdey.

Jennes came back quickly, one hand pressing against his belly.

"Xander wishes you to stay here for the next couple of days. He has something else to tell you," he gasped out quickly before rushing away.

Lourdey dashed into the room, “Please choose a room of your choice…all rooms are equipped with filters that block the sun.” And he retreated from the room quickly.

“Xander’s got knocked up…” Dawn breathed with a smile then slowly began laughing.

Angel remained silent, thinking on what Xander had told them. He had a feeling that the boy hadn’t told them everything…and some of that everything had to do witmQ§ m