The Soulmate Series

The Company of Wolves (Chapter Thirteen of Soulmates)


“Leave me alone ”

Willow’s shouted words are painful. His love won’t even allow him to be near, to ease the suffering caused by her rejection with proximity to her. He’s almost angry at her coldness and her refusal to understand and to forgive him, but he won’t give in to the dark side of his nature. Because deep down he can understand at least a little bit, and he can blame her behaviour on confusion, on her humanity, on her guilt over Oz, on the shock of their connection - and he can believe that she will come around, will realize that it’s Angel who is her soulmate and that he loves her so deeply and so passionately that she won’t be able to help but return his feelings.

Until then, though, it’s in his best interests to go along with what she thinks she wants, and he walks away, leaving her to her solitude and him to his own devices. As much as he’d rather spend the night watching over Willow, he can also see the benefits of reconnaissance, of finding out just what Willow’s friends are up to tonight. Did Buffy share the news of his return yet? Willow was absent from school today and he’s curious: Are they concerned? Is there any speculation about him having anything to do with it? The last thing he needs is having to break Xander’s neck because the moron tried to stake him. Right now, that would not help his cause with Willow.

And then there’s the new Slayer - Faith, he’s pretty sure that’s what Buffy said her name was. She could easily be a problem for him if she’s the garden variety “stake first, ask questions later” type that Slayers run to more often than not. If so, he just hopes Buffy keeps her out of his way. Not that he doubts her ability to tell this superfluous Slayer where to head in. He may not love Buffy anymore, but that doesn’t lessen his appreciation for her ability to make the old guard play by her rules. He doubts she’s ever listened to Frank Sinatra, or even Sid Vicious, but whether she knows it or not, My Way is her song.

It doesn’t take him long at all to reach the school, and mere moments to find his favorite spot in the shadows of the library, well out of sight, but easily able to observe. He was right, the gang’s all here, talking over the night’s events, just as they always were before. Maybe earlier he’d have been surprised at how rapidly his memories of such things seem to be returning, but not now. Now he just takes his exponentially accelerated recovery in stride. For a vampire just miraculously delivered from Hell to worry about logic and normality is frankly laughable. He listens, and he looks over the group gathered around the book cage - the book cage where his rival is...sleeping.

Buffy is there, of course, as is Giles. And there’s a brunette with a tough and obviously sexual air who must be Faith. She gives off a Slayer aura that, combined with Buffy’s, is a bit uncomfortable for him. But he’s dealt with worse. He’ll bear it. He is curious about the boy in the cage, the wolf he can tell has been tranquilized. He wants to know why. Is this mutt dangerous?

“I still can’t believe what Pete did, what he became.” Buffy had said that she and Faith had a specific target tonight. Angel figures this “Pete” must be who it turned out to be. It sounds like he was someone she knew and Angel feels sorry for her. “Poor Debbie. He loved her so much...but in the end, it destroyed them both.” Her words trail off and her eyes look out into nowhere.

The war between pity and scorn is on again. Something about what happened tonight parallels their affair in Buffy’s mind and she’s obviously drowning in memories and tragic romanticism. She still sees them as Romeo and Juliet, forgetting that Romeo and Juliet died young - and they stayed dead. Their conception of their own love stayed enshrined forever in the stone of their tombs, with no time or reality to give the lie to its luster. Angel and Buffy had no such end. Someday, he hopes it is soon, she will realize that she’s still alive, and she will find a love that lives as well. He finds it hard to believe she is still standing by the grave of their dead passion as it is. Remembering that it’s been nowhere near as long for her since its demise as it has been for him helps. Remembering that love doesn’t come so easily into the life of a Slayer helps even more.

But it isn’t love the other one is looking for, at least she doesn’t think so. Faith is giving off clouds of frustrated arousal so thick he’s surprised it doesn’t rouse Oz from his artificial slumber. She’s almost desperate, licking her lips, running her hands up her legs, nearly shaking with her need. She must have killed tonight. He’s seen Slayers like this before, though none quite so blatant in their display. Death and sex - usually the only pleasures a Slayer was allowed, and ever the twain shall meet. Faith doesn’t seem too fussy about who she’d let scratch her itch either. Buffy, Giles, even the wolf could have her if they’d acknowledge the signals she’s sending. But Buffy and Giles are oblivious and the wolf is fast asleep. It’s obvious Faith can’t wait to head out and jump on the first willing body she can find. Angel almost pities the one who says yes. They won’t be ready for this girl.

“I don’t get the whole ‘tortured love’ thing. Screwing’s always worked for me.”

Buffy and Giles roll their eyes dismissively and ignore her, and Angel feels a surprising stab of pity. He remembers the way Buffy referred to Faith as “the extra Slayer,” the way he himself thought of her before he’d even seen her. There’s something in her posture, in her face - just for a moment, but long enough to complete the biography Buffy unwittingly began to recount. A lifetime of being shunted aside, of waiting for her one chance to be “the one”...only to have it turn out like this. She’s not The Chosen One at all. She’s second best: all the duties and sacrifices and none of the glory. That belongs to Buffy, because she is first. It’s no wonder Faith pours all her wants and desires into sex; it’s the only thing she’s sure of being able to get. But for all that she believes she’s hiding, it seems to Angel she’s dangerously easy for one such as him to read.

It’s not surprising, really, that the demon in him has come into play: thinking, analyzing, putting an asterisk next to Faith’s name in his mind, knowing it’s more than likely that someday this damaged, second-class citizen of a Slayer will come in handy. He doesn’t feel guilty, either, for being willing to use her if the need arises. After all, he won’t be doing anything to her that hasn’t been done before, and at least he’ll pay some lip service to giving her what she really wants; that’s more than anyone else has ever done, he’s certain.

She senses him, he can tell, because she’s looking around a bit. But when she notices that Buffy doesn’t sense anything, she stops. It’s obvious she doubts herself, looks to Buffy for cues, even if she’d never admit it. Guess she hasn’t found out yet that Buffy’s one major weakness is a surprising inability to sense a vampire unless it’s standing right in front of her. Angel’s glad of that as he’s in no mood to leave. He wants to know more about what happened tonight, particularly as it pertains to the wolf.

“I do wish Willow was here. She might be able to make more sense than I have of these notes on the formula that Pete developed.”

“Yeah, where is Willow? Doesn’t she usually stay here when her boyfriend is howling at the moon?”

“She wasn’t in school today. I was kinda worried because Willow never misses school. But I talked to her last night right before she went to bed, so I know nothing bad happened to her. Oz said she’s been having trouble sleeping lately. Maybe she’s just getting some rest. I’m sure she’ll be here tomorrow. She won’t be able to stay away from the books, you know Willow.”

Angel almost feels guilty for being glad that Buffy doesn’t mention going to check up on her best friend. Almost, but not quite. The more time Willow spends alone, the more chance she’ll have to think. She’ll be far less likely to say anything rash, anything she’ll regret later once she sees things the way they really are.

Faith’s frustration level seems to have reached critical mass. Out of nowhere, she gets up and starts to leave. “Well, looks like I’m not really needed around here anymore, so I’m headin’ out.”

“Thanks. For helping with Pete, I mean.” Buffy says the words almost as an afterthought and he feels a small amount of pity at the way Faith’s eyes widen at the meager benediction. She keeps it under control though and Angel’s pretty sure he’s the only one who noticed.

“No big deal, B.”

“And t-thank you for tranquilizing Oz.”

There’s a story there as Buffy seems a bit put out by Giles’ words, but Angel doubts he’ll ever hear it. Which is bothersome as it’s what he most wants to know: Why did Oz even need to be tranquilized?

He’s a bit lost in thought as Faith says something he doesn’t quite catch before all but racing out the door; he’s staring at the drugged wolf. If he was alone in the library with him... But no, he can’t hurt him, not now, not like this. Willow would know and she would never forgive him. There are better ways to deal with his rival. Ways that won’t destroy his chances for what he wants most, for what he must have. He just has to be patient, be smart, watch and listen and wait for his opportunity.

It’s almost unsettling - how comfortable he is with his demon so close to the surface. There’s none of the precarious feeling he’d been so used to even before he knew that his soul could be lost. He doesn’t know why he isn’t afraid of himself anymore, he just isn’t. That’s not the only thing that’s puzzling him, either. It finally occurs to him to wonder why he didn’t lose his soul with Willow. The first time, the time that was so terrible for her, he was oblivious to her anguish. All he knew was the ecstasy of lying with the one that he loved. As regrettable as it might seem now, he was perfectly happy, at least for a short while. So why does he still have his soul?

That, however, is a question for later. At the moment, his main concern is finding out as much as he can about Oz.

“I can’t wait to give Willow the good news. About Oz I mean, not that it’s good that Debbie and Pete are dead.” Giles has a very familiar confused and slightly appalled look on his face; it fades as Buffy backpedals. Angel is surprisingly able to piece together much of the story from this. His memory of conversations past and of the matins and lauds of Buffy and Giles seems to be serving him well. “Or maybe I should let Oz tell her. That way Willow can give him some ‘it’s great you’re not a killer’ smoochies.”

Giles looks a bit taken aback at that last remark and Angel must fight to suppress a growl. As much as it’s good to see that Buffy is still able to think of Willow’s happiness, he isn’t at all glad that she is encouraging this ludicrously literal version of “puppy love.” And what about Giles? He had fought tooth and nail against Angel’s liaison with Buffy. Why is he now just standing by while a far more vulnerable one of his charges becomes involved with a demon potentially much more dangerous? One which apparently has no control over or even memory of whether or not it kills.

Buffy stretches a bit and acts greatly fatigued.

“Ah, yes, well, it’s been a rather long night. You should probably go home and get some rest. I’ll...I’ll see you tomorrow. If you could, would you ask Willow to come in here first thing? I’d really appreciate it if she’d look over these notes.”

“Sure thing, Giles. ‘Night.”

And with that, she’s gone as Angel stifles a chuckle. He’s pretty sure it’s a bogus routine and that, rather than heading home to bed, Buffy will be on her way to the Bronze the moment she’s out of Giles’ sight. That, too, is so familiar as to be cliched. But Angel has to admire her for making the act work, even after all this time. It irritates him, however, that all Giles can think of when it comes to Willow is picking her brain. He’s glad that she almost certainly won’t be at school in the morning. Let Giles do his own research for a change. Will he worry or simply be annoyed when there’s no Willow in the library tomorrow?

Angel leaves the library as stealthily as he entered it, no one the wiser to his having been there at all. He’s learned, if not everything he wanted to know, enough to be sure that he’s in the right. Seeing Oz, knowing what he is and what he might be capable of - this has only made him more determined than ever. Any questions about his soul are mere distractions from the purpose he’s starting to believe might be the reason he was set free from Hell to begin with. His soul hasn’t been lost, therefore he’s fairly well assured that it won’t be. Willow has more to fear from Oz than she ever will from him; Angel is certain of that. She may not know it, but she needs to be saved - from herself and her own folly. Angel is just the one to rescue her.


Tbc...