Change of Season

Disclaimer: Joss owns All

Feedback: yes



Pairing: Joyce/Faith



A/N This is A/U folks. meaning. Dawn is alive, Everyones Human, it takes place pre- sunnydale, and joyce gets her freak on with a young hot chick. though it's not fuffy hope you give it a chance anyway



A/N:2 those of you who want to see faith's customized bike.



http/ params14262/1537220/-1281449443&sendnameB.+Halyaman



A change of seasons, Chapter 12



1



A quiet fell over the Revello drive household; the kind of false stillness that oft presages a storm.



Joyce and Faith have moved to the dining room. They are sitting at the now cleared table, drinking coffee and talking.



"I knew it was going to be bad," Joyce says quietly, turning her cup with her hands, "but I didn't realize it would be that bad."



"They're just upset, Joyce. I'd be more worried if they hadn't been upset," Faith says quietly. "It's a lot for them to take in at one sitting."



"God, what kind of mother just blurts it out like that?" Joyce shakes her head in wonder. "I shouldn't have let her get me so upset. I've got to be the worst ever."



"Joyce, don't do this to yourself," Faith reaches over, covering her hand. "You're human, and she was baiting you for a reaction. Even I know that. I did it quite a few times with my parents."



"Yeah, and look how that turned out," Joyce frowns.



"That's different. You're not anything like my mom and dad, ok?

They're bigoted, racist homophobes. I didn't get that til they punched my ticket. You love your daughters; you'd do anything for them."



"She hates me, Faith. She really hates me. Did you see the look in her eyes?"



"She's hurt and confused, Joyce. She doesn't know what to think.

You're close. She can't go off on her dad; he's not here. Another plus in the old Hank Summers column as I see it. He sticks you with the dirty work."



"He didn't want this. He's not about to make it easier for me."



"Well, yeah he doesn't. He's got exactly what he wants. A wife that stays home with the kids, freedom to go out and fuck every skirt he can find, and hey, if she makes waves, he'll beat her up!"



"Faith!"



"It's true Joyce. I mean, I can only go by what I see, but this bastard hit you because you stood up for yourself. You weren't the compliant little wife that just took it. Is that the kinda guy you want teaching your daughters how to act? I don't think so, unless you wanna make them Stepford wives. He's an abuser and an user,

Joyce. The sooner you get rid of him, the better for all of you."



"He wasn't always like this, Faith. He used to be a good husband, a good father. He loved us, I know it. He did," Joyce shakes her head. "I don't know what changed. I really don't." She looks at Faith plaintively. "Maybe it was me, maybe I changed, and he… fell out of love with me."



"He changed, Joyce. People change. But you can't blame yourself for it. He's the prick here, Joyce. It's not your fault he's a prick.

From what you told me, he did that all by himself."



"Maybe, Faith. But they don't get that…" She looks at the ceiling,

towards the bedrooms. "He's just Daddy to them. Even when I tried to tell them the truth, they don't really want to believe it. Not in their hearts. God, can you blame them? They love him. Especially Buffy. To her, he can't do any wrong." She grins a little ruefully. "I didn't help that any by not telling her the truth from the get go."



"Joyce, I'll admit, I'm like a novice here. I mean, I've never gone through this. So, I can only say that you need to talk to her.

Buffy. And make her deal with reality. This is going to happen, no matter, right?"



Joyce hesitates for a moment, then nods. "Yes. I can't have him around here anymore. Not putting up with his crap anymore. And I don't really want him near the girls…" She looks at Faith, and chuckles. "And, then I still have to tell them about you moving in"

She sighs.



"Look, Joyce, maybe we should wait on that … I mean, I want to be here. I don't like the idea that that prick is out there… and can hurt you. But if you think it's going to be too tough for them to handle on top of the divorce…"



"No, no. You were right last night. You need to be here. I'm really scared, Faith, really scared. Not for me; I can deal with him. But you didn't see the look in his eyes Thursday night. He… I swear for a moment he was totally crazy. What if he hurt them, to get at me"

She nixes that idea with a shake of her head. "No, I need you here"

She looks at Faith, an almost hungry look in her eye. "I need you."



Faith gets up, and walking to Joyce, cups her face and kisses her gently. Joyce sighs, and leans against Faith.



"God, how did I ever even manage before you came along? I never knew how much I needed someone who understands me like you do…" Joyce leans against Faith, and Faith strokes her hair to comfort her.



"Look, I got a dumb idea. If it's totally stupid, you let me know.

But I think maybe you need to talk to Buffy alone, without any distractions. I was thinking, I could take Dawn out with me, give you some time alone with Buffy. If maybe you can get her onboard with this divorce thing, and me being here, then I think Dawn will come onboard."



"That's not dumb at all Faith. That's a very good idea. Just, do you think Dawn will do it?"



"Yeah, I think so. I think she's feeling kinda guilty about calling Hank, and probably needs to get out of here for awhile. I don't think she wants to face you…"



"I'm not angry at her. I know she didn't mean anything bad…"



"I know that, and you know that. She doesn't."



"It'd be great if you could get her out of here for awhile. Maybe if Dawn isn't in on the conversation, ragging on her sister, and vice versa, she'll actually listen..." Joyce nods, "…and maybe I'll tone down the anti-Hank rhetoric too. I don't think making Hank the villain will sell my case. She'll just close up." She looks at Faith. "Yeah, this could work."



"She should know what kind of man her father is, Joyce…"



"I know, I know… but she needs to learn that herself. She's not going to believe me, not entirely…"



Faith doesn't like it. She's convinced that as long as Buffy worships her father, things are going to be bad for Joyce, and for Buffy. But she also is smart enough to know not to contradict Joyce.

Not on this.



"Ok, anyway, I'll go upstairs and talk to Dawn."



She gets up and starts to leave, but Joyce grabs her hand.



"Thanks, Faith. You being here, supporting me… it means a lot. It really does…" She takes Faith's hand, and kisses the palm. "I love you."



Faith smiles broadly, which warms Joyce's heart. She leans over, and kisses Joyce, lingering for awhile on her lips.



"I love you too, Joyce."



Faith walks out of the room, and starts upstairs.



2



Buffy stands at the window to her room, staring out at the morning.

Her head is still hurting from last night, and her eyes ache, and are wet with tears. She sighs heavily.



Outwardly calm now, inside she's roiling with emotion.



It's lies. All lies. She's lying about dad because she hates him.



If only she could truly convince herself of that.



She felt the bump on her mother's head, saw the marks on the wall.

She knows she's not lying about that. Why would he do that? Why would he hurt her? Buffy frowns, staring down at the lawn. He must've caught her doing something wrong. Something bad. He had to.

He had to be provoked into it.



Despite her desire, however, it just doesn't add up. She knows her mom; her mom isn't a fighter. She doesn't like to fight. And she's not the type to do something so bad that her dad would hit her. It just doesn't add up. But it's gotta add up. She must've…



A little voice in her head disagrees. The little voice tells her that her mom is right. She doesn't want to believe that voice. She hates that voice. She loves her daddy, and she's not going to buy into the lie. She just won't!



If it's true, if what she says is true, what then? Oh god, if it's true, then what happened is all wrong. All wrong! I'm…



She pushes that thought away. She can't deal with that thought right now. She can't deal with that thought, ever. She has to believe. She has to.



She walks over to her bed, falling back onto it so her feet are still on the floor. She lays there, staring at the ceiling.



She just wishes that little voice would shut up and leave her alone!



She sits up, and hits the on button to her radio. She cranks it up a little.



She just wants to stop thinking.



3



Faith walks down the hall towards Dawn's room, pausing briefly at the door to Buffy's. As she stands there, the radio comes on, the music muted but not stopped by the door.



Why do I get the feeling that life with you is never going to be easy? She shakes her head, and moves on down the hall.



She stops at Dawn's door, and knocks lightly.



"Buffy, if that's you again, go away! I really don't wanna listen to your crap anymore," Dawn calls through the door.



"Dawn, it's me, Faith. Not Buffy."



"Oh. OH!"



Faith hears some scraping and clattering going on in the room.

Well, I wonder what little Dawn is hiding out? She grins, knowing how she used to hide 'stuff' from the 'old folks'. Oh, great. Now I'm an old folk. Swell.



"Can I come in?" Faith calls through the door.



"Minute, just a minute!" Dawn calls back. And the scraping noises continue.



Faith sighs, and rolls her eyes heavenwards. She finally starts to get her parent's impatience when she used to do the same thing.



"Come in. You can come in now."



Faith turned the knob, and walked in, seeing Dawn sitting on her bed, looking at her. She walked towards her, sitting on the bed next to her.



"Hey. Thought I'd see how you were doing."



"I'm ok," Dawn says, not looking very ok at all. Her hands were in her lap, and she was fussing with them nervously.



"I wouldn't be," Faith said simply.



Dawn looks up at her sharply.



"I'm just saying, after what your mom told you, if it were me, I'd probably be pretty upset, you know?" She nods, "Yeah, I'd be upset.

Pretty mad, too."



"I'm not mad," Dawn says, but her voice betrays her. Her lips work on her face, as if trying to hide something. "Well, maybe a little."



"Hey, I get it. I do," Faith says. "My parents never divorced or nothing, but they did boot my ass out of the house. I was pretty pissed."



Dawn's eyes go wide. "They threw you out?"



"Yeah, well, you see I…" She hesitates, thinking maybe she shouldn't tell Dawn about her sexuality quite yet. "…did something that really upset them. I mean, really upset them. So much so they kinda well disowned me… and well, they showed me the door."



"Gosh, you must've done something awful," Dawn looks at her with a mixture of nervous wonder and respect. " I mean, totally."



"Well, I don't think so, but… I guess we see things different, you know?" Faith hedges, "Thing is, when they did it, I got so angry I for sure thought I hated them. I really did." She grins a little sadly. "Thing is, after I cooled off, I found out I didn't hate them. Didn't like 'em a whole lot, cuz they're a bunch of…" she looks at Dawn, and grins wider, "well, never mind, thing is I still love them. And I miss them. It's stupid but I do. I just wish I could talk to them again, just once. You know?"



Dawn looks stricken. "Are they dead?" She whispers.



"Huh? No, no," Faith shakes her head. "No, they're quite alive,

living in Boston. No, they just pretty much consider me dead,

though. They won't take my calls or let me come by or anything. If anyone of my buds ask after me, they say they don't have a daughter…"



"Even your mom?" Dawn asks, wide eyed. "She hates you too?"



Faith's face softens for a moment. "It's funny. I ran into my mom in the market one time, you know? I come from a small neighborhood.

Can't avoid anyone forever. Anyway, it happened. She looked at me,

and for a moment I saw something in her eyes… I don't know if it was concern and love or what… but then she didn't say anything, and just turned away… I think that hurt most of all." She makes an impatient noise. "I'm not the point here, Dawn. The point is, I know you're really angry at your mom right now, and I get it. But don't hold onto it, ok? Get over it. She really loves you… both of you."



"I'm not mad… not really… just… she really hates me, doesn't she…

this is all my fault." Dawn bites her lip and looks away.



"Your fault?" Faith looks puzzled. "Exactly where did that come from?"



"This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't called dad to come. He never would've hit mom, and she wouldn't need to divorce him…"



"Whoa up, kid. Now, that's just crazy!"



"I'm not a kid!"



"No, you're not, are you?" Faith purses her lips. "So, don't think dumb things like a kid. This… what happened, had squat to do with you. Your mom isn't divorcing your dad because of the other night.

Look here, Dawn, sometimes people just can't get along with each other. They change, ok? And that's what happened here, ya know? It's nothing to do with you or your sister. They would've divorced no matter what eventually."



"But why now?"



"Not a clue, kid. Maybe it just hit the breaking point, you know?

You can go along putting up with crap for a long time, but something finally just snaps inside and you can't do it anymore. You can't pretend anymore. Get it?"



"I guess," Dawn mumbles. She sighs and looks down at her hands. "this blows."



"Yeah it does," Faith agrees. "But are ya gonna waste the day feeling sorry for yourself? Cuz if you are, then I'll just take off without you…"



"Huh?" Dawn looks up. "Without me? What're you talking about?"



"Well, I got some stuff to do, like get my bike back and stuff. And I was thinkin' I'd kinda like to look around this stupid little town a little. I mean if I'm gonna be around here, kinda like to get to know where stuff is. I was thinkin' maybe you could show me the cool places. You know, if you're not too busy with that Pity Party you got goin' on?"



Dawn tries to play it cool, not look too eager. She's already liking this new girl, and she wants her to think she's not some kid. "Hey,

not stupid here, you know. Mom wants me outta the house so she can like, well, deal with Buffy, right?"



Faith grins broadly, showing her dimples. "I knew you were the smart one." She nods, "yeah, she like needs some time with your sis. So,

wanna motor outta here?" She gives Dawn a sidelong glance. "I mean,

if hanging out with me isn't majorly gross or something."



Are you like kidding? Dawn thinks. This is major cool with a side of total awesome. "Well, I guess it won't be too bad, ya know." She shrugs her boredom.



"Cool. So, I guess we'll catch a bus and get downtown so I can get some cash…"



"Where do you think you are? Boston? You're kidding, right? I mean,

Sunnydale is like… tiny. We can walk to downtown in about 15 minutes. Only losers take the bus." Dawn shakes her head.



"Whatever. But I'm not walkin' 5 miles to get my bike."



"Maybe mom could loan you her car…"



"Don't think your mom is gonna wanna loan me the car, do you? And,

whose gonna drive it back when I got the bike, anyway?"



"Oh, yeah," Dawn makes a face. "Well, I guess we could take the bus to the campus…"



"Cool beans. So, ya ready to go?"



"Like this?" Dawn indicates her outfit. "I can't go out like this."



Faith shakes her head, smirking. Girls, I swear. "Yeah, ok, I'll wait downstairs for ya. But don't take too long, I wanna get going."



"I'll be ready in 5, 10 minutes outside." She rushes to her closet.



Faith gets up, walking out of the room. She smiles as she hits the stairs.



That was easy enough. Maybe Joyce won't have as much trouble as she thinks.



Sure, Faith, and Santa Claus really got you that bike when you were 7, right?



She trots down the stairs.



4



Joyce leans on the railing at the top of the stair, hesitating. She really doesn't want to make that short walk down the hall to Buffy's room.



Quit stalling, Joyce. The sooner you do this, the sooner it's over.



Yes, or the sooner she's even angrier with me.



Right. Is that really possible? Just do it, Joyce.



Even from here, she can hear the music playing loudly in Buffy's room. That's never a good sign. She walks down the hall until she reaches her room.



"Buffy?" Joyce knocks on her door. "Open up, please. I need to talk to you."



She wait for a few moments, and getting no response, she knocks louder, figuring Buffy didn't hear her the first time.



"Buffy! Open up, I need to talk to you!"



She hears something, but can't really make it out for the music.



"Buffy, I can't hear over the stereo. Please, open this door!"



Suddenly the music goes off.



"There's nothing to talk about, Go away!" Buffy yells. "Are you deaf?"



"Elizabeth Anne Summers, open this door right now!"



"No!"



"Five count, then I'm doing it. One way, or another. One…. Two.

Three …."



Suddenly the door opens, and Buffy, a deep frown on her face, is standing there, staring at Joyce.



"May I come in?"



"Can I stop you?" Buffy stands, hands on hips.



God, you're so much like Hank sometimes I just want to… Joyce! This is your daughter! Stop that!



"Actually, no you can't" Joyce says, barging into the room.



"Well, duh. Like I didn't know that," Buffy retreats into the room. "Not that you're very strong on the concept of privacy."



"What's that supposed to mean, Buffy?" Joyce is standing by her bed.



"You think I don't know you and dad rifled through my stuff last year? You think I'm that stupid?"



"We were worried about you, Buffy. You started acting so strangely.

What did you expect us to do? Just sit back and watch you self destruct?"



Buffy smiles cynically. "Yeah, right. So that's why you went through my journals, too? Those were private! Those were my private thoughts! You had no right to read those!"



"You're my daughter, Buffy Anne Summers. Like it or not, I have a right to do whatever I need to do to find out why you were acting insanely."



"Did you even think to ask me? Maybe I would've told you… then"

Buffy walks over and flounces on her bed. "But no, you had to go snooping, right Joyce? Because that's what your good at, right?

Sneaking around behind peoples' backs?" Her lips tighten. "Like this Divorce thing. Do you even tell Dawn or me what's going on? No, you just sneak around and drop it on us like a bomb. Boom! It's done."



"I'm sorry, Buffy. I know I should've prepared you better, but I really didn't decide finally until Thursday night to go through with it. I'm sorry, but I'm not staying married to a man who beats me…"



"So you say."



"Buffy! I showed you the proof that it happened. What more do you want?"



"How do I know that it happened like you said? You didn't come home til late that night. For all I know you were drunk and stumbled into the wall, hurting yourself."



Joyce stands there, shocked. She can't believe what she just heard her daughter say.



"My god, Buffy. Is that what you believe? You think I'd lie to you about something like Henry hitting me?" She comes around in front of her daughter. "Have you ever seen me drunk, Buffy?"



"No," Buffy admits, reluctantly, "but then again, I've never seen dad beat you either. Or even threaten to. So, I really don't know what to believe!"



"Why would I lie about this, Buffy?"



"Why wouldn't you? I mean, you make dad look bad, and you the victim. It's perfect, don't you think?"



"You really hate me that much?" Joyce's tone is dead. "You really believe I would do something like that?"



"Frankly?" She turns to her mother, eyes angry. "I don't care about you, or what you do, for that matter. You disgust me. Do whatever the hell you want, I frankly don't give a crap." She turns away from her mother.



Joyce stands very still, feeling as if she might black out. Her heart is beating erratically in her chest. She feels a great pain welling up, and it's hard to breathe. As if someone stabbed her in the heart, then twisted the knife.



"Very well, Buffy," Joyce's tone is soft and cold. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but at the end of the day, it doesn't change anything. The divorce is happening." Her face hardens. "Another thing, for that little stunt you pulled last night? I'd forget about anything but going to school and coming home for the rest of the year. No going out with your friends, no after school activities,

none of that. You've proven to me you can't be trusted out of my sight. So, you'll be spending all of your time supervised."



"Really? How about those nights when you have an opening, or have to be at the gallery. What then?" Buffy folds her arms over her chest,

smirking.



"Then Faith will be here to keep an eye on you."



"WHAT?"



"I've decided to take Faith on as a boarder."



"That's insane!" Buffy protests. "She's a stranger. What do we know about her? She might be a serial killer for all we know!"



"I know she rescued my daughter from getting herself raped… when was that? Oh yes, just last night," Joyce's tone is a tad sarcastic. "And frankly, Buffy? I don't have a lot of choices. I can't count on Hank to contribute to the household, now that the divorce is going through. Not that he's been so generous of late,

anyway. If we had to count on his contributions to get by, frankly we'd be starving. So, since Faith is needing a place, and since I'm going to need the extra money, she's staying. I'm going to fix up the basement for her."



"No way! No way! I'm not gonna live here now. I'll go live with dad in L.A." She gets up off the bed, and heads towards the phone. "I hate this stupid town, anyway."



"Go ahead and ask, Buffy. But I can tell you the answer already.

It's no."



"Why should I believe you?" She dials a number, and waits. One ring,

then two and three. She's about convinced that his voicemail is going to pick up when she hears a click and a 'hello?' on the other end of the line. " Hi, Dad? It's me… Buffy… yes… look, dad, mom told me about the divorce… yeah… ummm… look, I can't stay here… can I live with you? I mean, down in L.A. ?…" there's a pause while she listens. " What? No… I mean… well, yes, but really I can't be here anymore… what?… but, daddy…I … oh… uh-huh… I see… yes, ok… ok… no,

no, I get it. Sure, I can see… yes… ok, well… yes… ok… goodbye…" She hangs up the phone, and trudges back to the bed. She doesn't look at her mother at all.



Joyce, despite her own hurt, can't help but feel bad for the girl.

She looks utterly defeated, as if someone just hit her in the face.

She reaches out and puts a hand on Buffy's arm.



"Honey, I'm sorry, I tried to tell you…"



"Just leave me alone, ok?" She shakes off Joyce's hand. "Just get out. I want to be alone."



"Buffy…"



"No, stop it. Stop pretending you care. You don't care. Nobody cares, ok? I get that. Got it loud and clear. You won, ok?" She turns on her mother, her eyes narrowed almost shut. "I'm stuck in your little prison until I get to be 18. Fine, whatever. I don't give a damn. Cuz, once I'm 18, I'm gonna find a job, and get as far away from you and this house and everyone as I can. Got it? You can't keep me here one second longer than I want to. Now get OUT!"



"Buffy, that's not true! I love you… I…"



"Get out! Get Out! GET OUT!" Buffy yells. She's on her feet, pushing her mother towards the door.



"Buffy, please, listen to me…."



"GET OUT!" Buffy shoves her through the door, and slams it closed.



Joyce stands there for a second, stunned. She hears a click,

indicating the door's been locked. She tries the knob, then knocks loudly on the door.



"Buffy! Let me in! Please, honey…"



The music comes on suddenly, louder than before.



"Buffy, please, honey…"



There's no response. Joyce bangs on the door a few more times; then she gives up. She wanders away from the door, seemingly in a daze.



The pain her chest has grown larger. A lot larger.



She makes her way to the stairs, then suddenly sits down hard on the top step. Her legs don't seem to want to support her anymore.



Nothing seems to want to support her anymore.



It's all wrong. It's all just so wrong.



She leans her face on her hands, and starts to cry.



5



"Ok, and that over there," Dawn points at a building that looks like it might have been a gas station in an earlier life."… that's the Espresso Pump…"



Dawn and Faith are sitting on a bus bench, waiting for the number 5 bus to take them to UC Sunnydale. They've spent the last hour or so strolling around Sunnydale's Downtown section. Dawn has been pointing out the 'cool' and 'not so cool' places to Faith.



"… they make like the coolest double mochas! I mean, totally sugary goodness, you know? Me and Xander and Willow hang out a lot there. I mean, it's the coolest place in town when the Bronze isn't open.

Well, except maybe for the game arcade at the mall…"



"You seem to hang out with these characters a lot. What're their names again?"



"Oh… Xander and Willow? Oh yeah, they're like my bestest buds here in SunnyD. I mean, Willow, she's like so smart! My god, she's into computers, and science, and she's interested in witchcraft…"



"You mean, like boiling caldrons and spells and junk?" Faith can't help chuckling a little. "You mean like that shop you dragged me to?"



"The Magic Box? Oh man, that place is so totally cool. I mean they got the totally neatest stuff ever! Willow is going there all the time, getting supplies and junk and she… what?" Dawn hears the chuckling.



"Oh, C'mon Dawn. You don't really believe in that stuff, do you? I mean magic? It's bunkum." Faith shakes her head.



"Really? Well, I think it's real."



"What next Dawn? You're going to tell me there's like… vampires"

Faith puts her hands up to her mouth, simulating fangs. " I vant to drink your Blood!" She lunges at Dawn, and Dawn squeals.



"Of course not!" Dawn is laughing now too. " Those are just movies.

But witchcraft? That's like totally real."



Faith makes a face.



"It IS!" Dawn insists, "I mean, it's a religion and everything. It's got prayers and gods and the whole bit."



"Dawn, you're making that up."



"I so am not! You ask Willow. Better, look it up. Wicca. It's totally real!"



"Yeah, well, I'll buy that as soon as your buddy turns me into a frog, ok?" Faith waves a disbelieving hand at her.



"Oh, I don't think she'd do that," Dawn gets a sly look on her face. "Uh-uh, no way."



"Right, because magic is bunkum."



"No, because, you're too totally cute. Willow I'm sure would think you're drool worthy."



"Huh?"



"Oh, didn't I like tell you? My friend Willow's gay."



Faith looks at her, surprised. Then she bursts out laughing.



"What?" Dawn asks, looking confused.



"No, Dawn, you didn't happen to mention that fact, " Faith shakes her head, chuckling. " Wow, that must be hard for her. Being gay in high school and all." Faith leans in. "So, what? Did she like tell you in secret or something?"



"Huh? Oh no, she's like totally cool about it. She's out… been out since her sophomore year. I mean, she like took a girl to her Junior Prom last year."



"Really? Wow, she must be pretty gutsy," Faith sounds impressed. "Can't be easy for her being gay and in high school."



"Oh yeah, Will is like the coolest person I know. I mean, she's right out there, you know? Says what she thinks, and lets the chips fall wherever! And most people? They like respect her for it." Dawn bobs her head. "Yeah, there're a few dorks that kinda give her a hard time, Jocks and Cheerleaders mostly, but in the all, she's got it covered."



"Jocks and cheerleaders, huh?" Faith nods. "Oh yeah, I know the type. Total dips. I pretty much kept my distance from that crowd when I was in high school. Total bad news, especially the Cheerleaders. God, what a group of bitches."



"Tell me about it," Dawn rolls her eyes heavenward, "I mean, the cheerleaders at my school? Bunch of stuck up snobs. Think they're totally better than anyone. I think they think they poop petunias,

you know?"



Faith chuckles. She thought at first that 'babysitting' Dawn was going to be a drag . But she's finding she's beginning to really like this girl.



"Oh yeah, they're totally biotches. And they are led by the totally meanest biotch of all. Look it up in the word in the dictionary, and her picture is next to it. Man, I really can't stand her."



"She must be something if you don't like her."



"Huh?"



"I just mean, you seem to be a very friendly kind of girl. Not the kind to really hate anyone. She must be the wicked witch of the west or something if she gets you mad."



"Oh… thanks," Dawn smiles brightly, coloring a little in the cheeks. "Well, it's totally her fault. I mean, she targeted me day one. Totally rude to me and Buffy, making out like we were her peons or something. We got her back, but she's been really nasty ever since."



"Sounds pretty snarky to me. So, she still giving you trouble?"



"Well, not so much. It's weird. I mean, me and Buffy both gave her some grief that first day. But she like all of a sudden gets chummy-

chummy with Buffy, and totally ignores me. I mean, go figure, right?"



"Sounds like a flake to me," Faith agrees. "So, does this airhead have a name? I'm betting something like Muffin or Suzy or some crap like that."



"Oh, even worse. Cordelia. Can you believe it? Cordelia Chase."



"Cordelia, huh?" Faith grows a little thoughtful.



"You know her?" Dawn looks surprised.



"Maybe," Faith says, "describe her."



"Oh, a little taller than you, maybe. Long dark hair, hips like a battleship, perpetual sneer on her face…"



That's her all right.



"Yeah, I think I know her. Sounds like the girl with Buffy at the party last night."



"You're kidding, right? Cordelia Chase was at the party last night."



"Pretty sure. Girl fitting your description was there, and Buffy was talking about a Cordelia … well, mumbling really… all the way home in the cab last night."



"Wow!" Dawn says, looking a little wide-eyed. Then her eyes narrow. "That girl's bad news. I don't trust her."



Faith looks at Dawn with renewed respect. Hmmm, I see I'm not the only one to pick that up.



"Really?" Faith asks.



"Yeah, I'm thinking if she were there, she had something to do with Buffy being there. She set her up, I'm thinking."



"Why do you think that?"



"I told you me and Buffy kind of gave her some grief the first day.

Then all of a sudden, she's getting all chummy with Buffy, even inviting her to try out for the cheerleading team. And, I'm pretty sure, she got on. Then she happens to be at this party where Buffy gets all drunk and busted?" Dawn's lips tighten. "Yeah, she's up to something, I know it."



"I agree. She gave me some bs about her not know what was going on,

but she really …I just figured she was lying. I just did." Faith nods her head. "If your sister thinks she's a friend, she better watch her back."



"We've tried to tell her that, but she won't listen. I mean, she so thinks she knows everything. She wants to be a cheerleader, and she figures Cordelia's her key. And she's blind to anything else.

Period!"



"Well, she better listen to someone, cuz otherwise she's only gonna get a big crap sandwich outta the deal."



"She'd listen to you," Dawn says, looking at Faith.



"What?"



"She'd listen to you," Dawn repeats. "She likes you. Maybe you could talk to her…?"



"Whoa up, kid. I think you got it all wrong. I just like pulled her outta that party. I don't hardly know her…"



"Yeah, but I saw her this morning. She was like hanging on your every word…" Dawn bites her lip. "She won't listen to me, or mom, or Willow or Xander… maybe she'll listen to you…"



"Look, Dawn. I'm kinda like a stranger here. Not my place to be telling your sister what to do. And I really don't have a clue what I'd say or…"



"Couldn't you try? Please?"



"You really care about her, don't you?"



"She's a major pain in my butt. She's always ragging on me, giving me a ration," Dawn's frowning. "but yeah, I really do. Cuz I know when I really need her, she'll be there. And vice versa."



God, I would've loved to have a sis like you. Would've been so much easier when I was growing up, Faith thinks, looking at Dawn.



"Look, I'd have to talk to your mom about it. See what she thinks. I can't just be going around interfering. I can't promise anything,

but… I'll try," Faith shrugs, feeling a little roped in.



"Thanks…" Dawn impulsively hugs the older woman. "Thanks."



"Yeah, well, don't get emotional about it, ok?" Faith gently pushes her away. She looks up to see the Number 5 bus pulling up. " 'Bout damn time." She starts towards the bus doors, and stops, turning around. "You coming?"



"I should get back home. I mean, you're going to pick up your bike,

right? Probably head home after…"



"Well, actually, I was thinkin' on makin' a stop at the Colonel's after, maybe picking up a bucket of chicken and stuff. You know,

like lunch? Bring it by your house. I'm figuring your mom's not gonna be too keen on making lunch or whatever after talking with Buffy…"



"You don't think it's going to go well?"



"Not really, no. Buffy seemed pretty…pissed off."



"That's like normal for her," Dawn smirks. "Can't remember last time she was anything but mad at everybody. So, we'll see you later then?"



"Don't you want to come with?"



"Hey, lady, you getting on or not?" The bus driver calls down from his seat.



"Gimme a sec, pal, ok?" She turns to Dawn." I thought maybe you'd like a ride on the bike…?"



"Really!" Dawn is suddenly all excitement. Then her face falls. "

Mom wouldn't want me to. She thinks motorcycles are dangerous…"



"Does your mom gotta know?" Faith asks, eyebrow arched.



"Lady, I don't got all day! Hurry up!"



"Dawn?"



Dawn jumps up, and runs over " Ok, cool."



Faith chuckles, and they get on the bus.



6



"Whoa! That's… hot!"



Dawn stands staring at Faith's bike, parked behind the Alpha Mu house at UC Sunnydale.



The restored Harley Sportster is obviously Faith's pride and joy.

Despite her references to it being a 'rust bucket', the gleaming chrome, unscratched paint and attention to detail attest to Faith's hours spent restoring the bike to its present glory.



Dawn turns to Faith, eyes wide in wonder. "That's yours?"



"That's my baby." Faith says, walking over to the bike.



Dawn walks over next to her, staring at the bike. She reaches out to touch the seat, then hesitates.



"Go ahead," Faith chuckles, "it won't bite you."



Dawn runs her hand over the smooth leather of the seat. It almost feels warm to her touch, as if the bike is a living, breathing thing.



"It's sooo cool!"



Faith just smiles as she walks over to one of the custom saddlebags mounted over the rear wheel. She rummages around in it, then pulls out a small helmet. She hands it to Dawn.



"Here, put this on."



Dawn slips on the helmet, bunching her hair together to let it stream out the back in a ponytail. Faith hands her something else.



"You hold onto this," She says, handing her Buffy's purse.



"Did they give you any problems getting it back?" Dawn slips the purse strap over her shoulder.



"Kinda. They were acting all macho. Figured they could bully me … I think they said little girl… couldn't tell them what to do. I kind of mentioned I was a friend of the family of the girl that they almost raped… and that I came instead of the mother… who wanted to shoot them… well, they kind of got the hint. Amazingly, they had it in my hands within five minutes." Faith grins, as she puts on her own helmet and jacket.



Dawn giggles when Faith crosses the bike, and as Faith mounts it,

she gives her the thumbs up.



The bike roars to life, and Faith rolls it off the kick stand. She then steers it over to where Dawn is stand. "Hop on, Kid. Let's motor."



Dawn hops on behind Faith, circling her arms around her waist. She leans against Faith's back as Faith zooms away from the Frat house.



The ride was way too short as far as Dawn was concerned. She was falling into serious like with this girl. She was smart, funny, and she treated Dawn like an adult… even if she calls me kid… grrr… and she sooo let me ride on her bike… and I know Buffy didn't get that.

Totally cool.



Still, after the left the Colonel's, and were heading home, Dawn tried to imprint every bit of the ride, and the whole day. She figured after lunch, Faith would split, and she'd never see her again.



So unfair. I get stuck with a bratty, self centered older sister.

Why can't I have her as an older sister? She's beyond cool, she really listens to me, and doesn't make me feel like a dope half the time. I gotta think sometimes the gods hate me, sticking me with Buffy.



As Faith approaches the driveway to the house, she cuts the bike's engine, letting the momentum carry them the last few yards up into the driveway. She parks next to Joyce's SUV, and the two of them head towards the door.



"Thanks," Dawn says.



"Hey, no prob. Don't want to get in Dutch with your mom."



"No, I mean… for everything. For today. I really do feel better"

Impulsively, she hugs Faith and kisses her lightly on the cheek. "Thanks a lot."



She runs up to the door, carrying the bucket of fried chicken parts,

and Faith follows her in, half grinning.



I could really get used to this.



"Are you nuts? Are you trying to get your picture on the cover of Insane-o's Home Journal?"



Dawn and Buffy are at lunch, sitting outside in the 'loser' lunch area. Dawn has her sandwich in hand, but almost drops it in surprise.



"C'mon, Dawnie. Don't be a dope. Something's going on there!"



Buffy is talking to her sister like she's a mentally challenged three year old. God, how can she be so stupid and live?



"The only thing going on is that Faith needs a place to live," Dawn says, taking a bite of her sandwich, "And mom, feeling grateful for her pulling your butt out of the fire, offered her a room in the basement. Oh, and that we might need the money, now that mom and dad are getting divorced."



"Come on, you bought that load? What, you think dad's just going to like desert us cuz mom wants to divorce him? Are you really that stupid, Dawn," Buffy shakes her head in wonder. "It's dad, he's not going to like let us starve."



"Yeah, well, according to mom, he might need his money for his girlfriend…"



"Shut UP! You don't know anything about it, Dawn! That's probably mom just making it up, to make her look good."



"Oh god, Buffy, are you stupid, or what? What am I saying? Of course your stupid. God, it's almost classic. He's gone all the time, a lot of weekends he can't make it home because of 'work', you can hardly get him on the phone. What do you think he's doing, Buffy? Playing Parcheesi?"



"No, I actually believe dad, that he's working. He works hard…"



"Yeah, sure Buffy. Works hard, runs around on mom…"



"Shut your pie hole, squirt. You don't know crap about it."



"I know he hit mom!"



"She probably … she probably got him so mad he didn't know what he was doing!" Buffy gets defensive. "Anyway, this isn't about dad,

it's about Faith!"



"Yeah, what's the deal with that, anyway? At breakfast you were like all moon eyes over her, and later boom! She's suddenly the evil bitch from hell. What's with the Sybil?"



"I had time to think about it, Squirt. I wasn't off chatting up some stranger like she's my new best friend. I mean, what's that about,

anyway? Why would some adult want to hang out with a kid, anyway?"



"I'm not a KID, Buffy!" Dawn gets a little red faced, "I'm only 2 years younger than you. What does that make you?"



"Someone not stupid enough to get on a stranger's bike and maybe get killed."



"Yeah, that was real sweet, Buffy. Tellin' mom you saw me and Faith pulling up on her bike. God, she got so mad at the both of us.

Happy?"



"Just lookin' out for ya, Squirt."



"Stop CALLING ME THAT!"



"Stop BEING A MORON! No, wait, you were born that way. Forgot!"



"Hey, hey, Summers' Women. What's the beef? You can be heard across the quad!"



Willow and Xander come up, standing between the dueling sisters.

Xander, looking a little worried, pulls Dawn aside.



"Hey, cutie. Chill. You're all flushed and going nuclear. What's the deal?"



"The deal is…" Dawn pops around Xander, yelling at her sister, " My sister is a BIG STUPID JERK!"



"Sticks and Stones, Dawn. You're just pissed because you know I'm right."



"Buffy?" Willow looks worried. "What's going on?"



"Nothing. Dawn is having a meltdown because I pointed out the obvious to her, and she doesn't like it…" Buffy leans around Willow. "She's just A BIG BRAT BABY!"



Willow and Xander look at each other, puzzled.



"Hey, hey!" Xander tries to restore some peace and end the ground war.



"You're just jealous because she thinks I'm cooler than you!" Dawn says from behind Xander.



"You're so full of it, Bratticus, " Buffy smirks, "And so wrong. She just took pity on you cuz you're a total whiny nothing. Wah, wah,

wah! Someone new comes to the house, and Dawn's so got to be the center of attention. Loser!"



"I'm not the loser. Look at the skanks you hang with! God, if she hadn't been there to save your ass, you would've been toast!"



"That's a load. Yeah, I had a beer or two, but I knew what I was doing!"



"So, being surrounded by a bunch of guys ripping at your clothes,

that was your idea?"



"Are you like hallucinating?" Buffy shakes her head, "that never happened! Did she tell you that happened? Cuz if she did, she's a liar!"



"Bullshit, Buffy. You were so out of it Saturday night, you don't remember squat. You were puking your guts out in the toilet. That doesn't come from having ' a beer or two'. You were totally out of it, and Faith probably saved your sorry life!" Dawn gets an ugly expression on her face. "She probably shouldn't have bothered. You probably would've liked it!"



Buffy pushes past Willow, and grabs Dawn by the arm. "What the hell are you saying, squirt? Are you calling me a slut?"



"Oh no, Buffy," Dawn's tone is sarcastic, "even a slut has standards. You'd probably boink anything…"



WHACK!



Buffy slaps her sister across the face, hard.



"ENOUGH!"



Willow grabs Buffy, and starts pushing her away from Dawn.



"Get her out of here, Xander," Willow says over her shoulder. "Get Dawn away from here!"



"Where?" Xander asks, trying to keep Dawn from rushing her sister. "She's pretty pissed off."



"Don't really care, Xander! Just get her gone!"



Xander, struggling with a red faced Dawn, manages to move her to another part of the quad.



Willow sits the flushed and angry down on a bench, and sits beside her.



"What the heck is going on between you two? I've never seen you …"



"Hey, nice move, Buffy!" A voice drifts from behind them.



Both girls look up to see Cordelia approaching. Willow gets a sour look on her face, while Buffy has a small grin.



"Hey, Cordelia," Buffy greets the approaching girl.



"Hey, Buffy. So, what's up? That was one mean slap you gave to your bratty sister."



"Yeah, well, she's a real pain in the butt," Buffy says,

shrugging. "She's a tard, what do you expect."



"Gee, Buff. Trouble in Casa Summers?" Cordelia is all fake sympathy. "Of course, what can you expect. I mean, really?"



Buffy looks at her puzzled. "What?"



"Trash is trash, Buffy. You are what you wallow in."



"Cordelia?" Buffy sounds confused and a little hurt. "What's this about?"



"Oh please, don't give me the wounded princess junk." Cordelia's tone gets low and mean. "Nice move, calling the police, Buffy. Never mind the Alpha Mu house got popped for the party, I got to spend two hours at the police station until my dad came down to bail me out.

He totally grounded me, you little jerk. Nice work."



"I… I didn't call the police…"



"You, that skanky friend of yours, one of you did. Doesn't matter.

What matters is I had to go to the police station. " She leans in closer. "If you didn't like the party, fine. Go home, who cares? But don't get your friend to come in and bust up the place, and then call the cops after. You're a total waste of time, you know that"

She sneers at her. "Well, guess you know you're so not on the team.

We don't need your kind on the team, Buffy."



Buffy just sits there looking stricken.



Willow, on the other hand, looks angry. Her lips have tightened into a line, and her eyes have narrowed.



"All bets are off, Buffy. I thought you were cool, but I can see I was totally wrong. I don't like being wrong, Buffy. So, watch your back, loser, cuz I'm gonna…"



"Get out, Cordelia," Willow says in a soft voice.



"Shut up, Dyke-O Rosenberg. No one is talking to you."



Willow stands up, and suddenly is nose to nose with Cordelia. She's slightly taller than the brunette, and looks down on her.



"I said, get out of here, Cordelia," Willow's voice is still low,

but there's steel beneath the velvet.



Something passes between the two girls, and Cordelia is the first to blink. She backs off a hair.



"God, who wants to be around a bunch of nothings like you, anyway"

She turns, addressing Buffy. "Don't even think I've forgotten you,

Slutty Summers. You're ass is mine, and I intend on collecting."



Cordelia leaves in a huff.



Willow goes over to Buffy, and sits next to her. She puts an arm around her.



"You ok, Buffy?"



"No, I'm really not ok," Buffy says, petulantly.



"Buffy, I've got to talk to you, about Cordelia. She's not your friend, Buffy. She'll never be your friend. She just wants to use you…"



"Why'd you do that?" Buffy says, ignoring her words.



"Buffy, that's what I'm trying to tell you. Cordelia …"



"I could've fixed it, if you hadn't interfered." She stands up,

looking in the direction Cordelia left. "Maybe I can still fix it…"



"Buffy, stop! You've got to listen to me. Cordelia is bad news,

she's just going to use you."



"So what?" Buffy turns on Willow," I'm not looking to be her bestest friend in the world. I want to be a cheerleader. I want my goddamn life back, like it was before. And I'd get it, if you and the rest of you would just let me alone." She starts to walk off, then turns back. " God, stop interfering in my life. All of you!"



She turns and stalks off in the direction Cordelia took.



God, what's wrong with her? Doesn't she listen to anyone?



A strange look comes over her face, and she as she watches Buffy go,

a rueful smile comes to her lips. Her mind slips back to the events of a year ago.



Look who's talking. Did you listen?



"You're making a majorly bad mistake here, Will."



Xander is reclined on Willow's bed, flipping through the pages of the latest X-men comic. He seems relaxed and at home; not really strange when you realize that he and Willow have been friends since playgroup, and they've hung out in each other's rooms since forever.



"Shut up, Xander. You don't know anything!"



Willow walks into the room, and stands in front of the bed.



"So, how do I look?"



Xander puts down the comic book, and looks at Willow. His eyes go wide.



"Shpandoingel, Will! Like, totally wow!"



"You like?" Willow blushes prettily, turning around for him.



Willow is feeling very pretty, and very sexy. She's wearing a jade green blouse tied just below her breasts, revealing a very cute little tummy. Her hip huggers, a dark charcoal color, are so tight they look painted on her hips and legs. Two inch heeled boots, and a small gold locket complete her out of character look.



But she's gone beyond the outfit, and had her hair done. Cut shorter than normal, it's framed around her face perfectly. Her makeup,

usually conservative, is a little wild tonight. Carmine red lips,

eyeshadow and liner, she's gone whole hog tonight. She's even painted her nails to match her lipstick. It's obvious something special is going to happen tonight.



"Gee, who are you, and what have you done with Willow?" Xander teases her. "And oh, I was wondering if you might reconsider the whole gay thing? Cuz, I think I love you!"



"Xander, you're terrible!" Willow cries, but she's loving the attention, don't kid yourself. "So, you think I'd register on the hottie scale?"



"Register? You'd break the hottie scale, Will. You're totally inferno like."



"So," She says, turning to her mirror and checking herself out. "You think Cordelia will like?"



Xander sighs. God, all this, for that bitch?



"Willow, about Cordelia …," Xander starts, but Willow cuts him off.



"C'mon, Xan. This isn't going to be another "Cordelia is evil"

speech, is it?"



"Willow, this is Cordelia. Cordelia Chase. You know, the one who you used to a charter member of the "We hate Cordelia" club… that Cordelia? The one that's treated us for years like we're something she stepped in and smells bad. She can't be trusted, Willow, and she's going to hurt you. I just know it."



"Xander, Xander, Xander," Willow turns to him. She's not mad; matter of fact, she smiling. "You're just so sweet." She comes over, and leaning over, gives him a kiss on the cheek. "And I'm not even mad you're checking out my boobs."



"I'm a guy, Will. That's what guys do. They check out the boobies of the women…" Xander makes a growly sound. "Stop it, this is serious!"



"Yeah, seriously like you're trying to play my older brother. You're only 3 months, 2 days , 12 hours and 22 minutes older than me,

Xander Harris."



"Will, you're my bestest bud in the world. You know I'm in awe of your brains. I worship at the majesty of your incredible smartness.

But right now, you're acting like a total airhead. This is Cordelia Chase, Will. She's evil!"



"ah HAH!" Willow teases. "I knew it was a Cordelia is evil speech!

I'm not only smart, I'm psychic, too!"



"Willow, I'm serious. This is wrong on so many levels it's pathetic.

You know what she's like. Don't you remember what she did to that girl that tried out for cheerleaders? She humiliated her in front of the whole squad! And that guy…"



"Xander, I'm serious too," Willow grows serious. "I've been tutoring Cordelia for months now. I've spent a lot of time with her, and I know her a lot better now. She's not really that way, Xander. She's just shy, and lonely. Her parents are gone a lot, Xander, leaving her on her own. Even when they're there, they hardly pay attention to her, except to criticize her. She just lashes out at others,

because she's afraid to get hurt. She's really very sweet when you break through the shell. You'll see…"



"No, I won't see. I've seen Cordelia enough, especially in action.

No one's as good at doing what she does, unless there's something behind it…" He takes Willow's hand. "I know you've like fallen for her…"



"I so have not!" Willow blushes, turning away. She's so busted.



"Will, this is Xander, best bud and supporter extraordinaire of everything Willow? You confessed to me about how you feel about her,

remember?"



"Oh, that… geeze, you're not going to hold that against me, are you?" Willow shrugs and holds up her hands in mock surrender. "Ok,

Ok, I confess, sheriff. Guilty as charged."



"Exactly. And I love that your in love… well, I would, if it were anyone but Cordelia. You blinded by your feelings, and don't see she's just using you…"



"For what, exactly, Xander? It's not like I'm miss popularity, or anything. What have I got that she would want…" Willow grins crookedly, "Ok, that came out wrong. I mean, what could she take from me?"



If you can't figure that out, Will, I can't tell you, Xander thinks,

looking at her. "Will, she's going to … you've got to know she wants something. And when she gets it, she's going to dump you like a rotten cabbage."



"Oh, so I'm stinky Cole slaw now?" Willow looks at him, a little hurt and offended. "What, you don't think I'm good enough for the likes of Cordelia Chase? Is that it?"



"That's not what I think, Will, " Xander says, " I think you're worth 10 Cordelias. A hundred. You know that!" He gets up, putting his hands on her shoulders. "It's not about what I think, Will. It's what she thinks…"



"How do you know what she thinks?" Willow says, fiercely. She breaks away from Xander, grabbing her purse. "Forget it. I'm tired of listening to this. I love her, she loves me. You should be happy for me. Instead, all you do is give me grief about it. I don't get it"

She suddenly has an insight. "you're jealous! That's it, you're so jealous! I found someone, and you haven't. And I'm spending more time with her, and less with you, and your totally hating it!"



"I'm not jealous!" Xander snaps. "Ok, maybe a little. But that's beside the point, Will. I'm afraid she's going to hurt you, do something so awful you'll be crushed. And I can't just stand by and not say anything. I'm sorry, but I can't"



"I so expected more out of you, Xander. I can't believe that you"

She crosses her arms over her chest. "I think you better go,

Alexander Lavelle Harris."



Xander swallows hard. He knows he's in trouble when Willow uses his full name.



"Will, please," he makes a last attempt. "Just think. Think of all the years we've known Cordelia … think, and don't do this…"



"I'm doing this, Mr. Harris, " Willow looks at her watch. "Oh shoot,

I'm late. I gotta fly. Look, you can see yourself out, Xander. And,

I really don't want to see you again until you apologize."



She rushes over, and grabs her purse. She looks at Xander as if she's never seen him before, then shaking her head, rushes out the door.



Xander watches her go, his heart sinking in his chest. He's afraid he's just lost his best friend, and it really, really hurts. Getting up, he looks in the mirror.



Smooth, Harris, really smooth. God, how could you be so stupid to…

aw, forget it. She's right. You don't know, maybe this is good for her. She certainly deserves friends that support her.



Turning away, his shoulders slump. Sighing heavily, he walks out of the room, sighing heavily.



He flips off the lights as he goes.



Willow stands nervously at the front door of the Chase Mansion,

waiting for the door to be answered.



God, do I look ok? I'm not too slutty looking, am I? Will she like what I'm wearing? Will she think I'm hot. Oh, this is bad, really,

really bad!



Willow slips a compact out of her purse, and checks her look quickly.



This is her first 'official' date with Cordelia. Well, not official,

because they aren't really together-together. Cordelia is funny about well, them being together in public. She's got this whole popularity rep to preserve, right? But it's the first time they've been together when it's not been one of Cordelia's tutoring lessons in her room.



Thing is, Cordelia wasn't the only one being taught stuff.



From the first, Willow realizes Cordelia was attracted to her. And she was attracted back. At first, neither admitted it, and it was all business. But then there was that day that well… somehow, they wound up kissing. And kissing, and then, some more kissing. Willow doesn't know exactly how it happened, but not a lot of tutoring of the math or history happened that day. More maybe, biology.



From there, things heated up between them, and as Willow learned more about Cordelia, the more she liked. And, the making out and petting? Not so bad, either. Things got hot and heavy in that bedroom of Cordelia's, and there was more than one time Willow was surprised the mirrors didn't get steamed up.



And when they made love that first time, on Cor's big bed, with the canopy, Willow knew she was lost. Totally lost. She was stone cold in love with the girl that not too long ago she referred to as the Wicked Bitch of Sunnydale. It was sweet, and tender, and hot, so hot…



Still, she'd been flabbergasted and pleased when Cordelia invited her to her party. She wasn't one of Cor's regulars, and this was like a major step up the relationship ladder. Willow was floored,

utterly amazed that Cordelia would want her at one of her parties.



She really loves me. She wants to be seen with me. She wants us to be a couple. This kept playing over and over in her head, each time making her giddier and feeling like she was walking on air.



She took some of her savings, money she earned babysitting and with her tutoring, and went shopping. She wanted to look hot for Cordelia, make her proud to be with her. For the first time in her life, she had her hair styled professionally, she bought an expensive and sexy outfit, she bought new make up; she went all out.

All for Cordelia.



Now she is here, waiting to be let in the party, checking herself nervously, wondering if she did the right thing.



What if she doesn't like it? What if she liked my usual look? What if she tells me to leave? Oh god, I'd die, I'd just DIE!



"Hey, Willow… whoa!"



Cordelia is at the door, drinking in the 'new and improved' Willow.

And she has to say, she approves. She totally approves.



"Will, you look… hot," Cordelia whispers, scanning her up and down. "totally awesome."



"You like it?" Willow beams, loving the way Cordelia's eyes are caressing over her body.



Not that Cordelia is bow wow material herself. Wearing a white linen pantsuit, sandals and a bracelet of pearls on her arm probably worth more than Willow's parents make in a year, she is simple and elegant at the same time. Her hair flows free down her shoulders, like the dark waves of the ocean on a moonlit night.



She steps out onto the porch, and closing the door behind her, pins Willow to the wall.



Her lips press urgently, hungrily on Willows, her body holding the taller girl in place. Her hand wanders over Willow's back down to her cotton encased ass, gently squeezing and rubbing. Willow sighs happily into Cordelia's mouth, her own hands wandering freely over her back.



"Your are so hot," Cordelia pants in Willow's ear. "I want you so badly right now…" She kisses her again, her tongue fiercely demanding and receiving entrance into Willow's mouth.



Willow's heart is beating thunderously in her breast, and her body is awash in fiery tingles. Her brain is fogging faster than the windows of car parked at Make-out point. She knows they should stop; they have to stop. Tearing off their clothes here on the front porch and humping naked like rabid bunnies would be so wrong in so many ways. Yet, she's almost helpless against the savage attack of Cordelia's tongue in her mouth, the restless, searching hands and her own feverish body.



"Cor…baby… maybe we should go inside … to cool off," Willow croaks,

her breath taken away by the kiss. She feels entirely flushed in heated blood, and the steamy dampness between her legs is at once exciting and embarrassing. Oh god, what if she like smells me?



At first, Cordelia doesn't seem to hear her, her restless, hungry mouth still working on her own. But she finally pulls away, her own cheeks flushed, her eyes full of lusty desire.



"Yeah, maybe we should. Anyway, I want to show you off, " Cordelia says huskily.



She slips her hand down, lacing her fingers in Willow's. Opening the door, she enters the party, pulling Willow behind.



Inside the party, Willow is caught in a fast motion whirl of color and scents and sounds.



Trailing after Cordelia, who holds her hand tightly in her own,

she's exposed to a world she's never really known before.



Willow's been to parties before. Birthday parties, parties her parents threw, get togethers with her buds, but nothing like this party.



Cordelia drags her from group to group, being the hostess, it's her duty and her calling. She stops and chats with each, and Willow hangs back a bit, a little overwhelmed by it all. The people's faces and voices seem to blur into each other, and she can't really recognize anyone she might know.



Suddenly a glass appears in her hand.



"What?" Willow looks a little doubtfully at the drink in her hand.

It's kind of orangey reddish ,with a slice of strawberry floating on top.



"It's ok, baby," Cordelia smiles, "It's good. It's called a "Redhead in bed". Thought you might like it. Know I do," Cordelia rubs her hand on Willow's back.



Willow blushes pink. "I don't… really drink much." Er, that's none at all!



"Aw, c'mon," Cordelia pouts a little. Her hand starts creeping down lower on Willow's back. "It's sweet, like you. Just taste it"

Cordelia leans over and dips her tongue into the drink. "It's really good." Her hand lands on Willow's butt, which she begins to caress.



"Uhhh… ok, I am a little thirsty," She says, taking a tiny sip out of the drink. She smiles, then takes a larger drink. "That's good"

She gushes.



"Of course it's good," Cordelia leans in closer. "redheads in bed are dynamite." She squeezes Willow's butt cheek, causing her to nearly drop the drink. She giggles, and takes another swallow.



After that, the party becomes one giant whirl of activity for Willow. She follows after Cordelia, who can't seem to keep still.

She moves from group to group; sometimes they dance together,

bumping and touching and giggling; sometimes they sit for a bit, but that's never for long, because then Cordelia is up and moving again.

And of course, she never lets go of Willow's hand.



Each time her glass empties, it seems to be magically refilled, and soon the alcohol has its effect. Willow becomes both very giggly and very talkative, talking about nothing at great length to the fascination of the guests she encounters. They're also well on their way to being smashed.



Everything becomes bright and shiny, and Willow is fascinated by the music, which seems to have it's own personal rainbow of colors attached to it. As the night wears on, and the drinks get drunk, she becomes very amorous, touching, caressing and pinching Cordelia as often as she'll let her.



"My, my aren't you the frisky little kitty tonight?" Cordelia grins,

playfully slapping at Willow's hand. She manages to keep Willow at bay while keeping her interest on overdrive.



"Mmmm… when it comes to you, I'm feeling frisky all the time"

Willow giggles, taking another drink. "I feel sooo good." She stumbles slightly, bumping into Cordelia. "Oooopsy."



"Hmmm… I have something that'll make you feel fantastic," Cordelia whispers. She opens her purse, and pulls out a little vial. Opening it, she dumps a small white tablet with a little 'x' engraved on the dome. She hands it to Willow. "Take this, lover."



Willow looks at the tablet in her hand, and her brow furrows. "I… I dunno, Cor… I don't… drugs and me don't…"



"Oh poo, don't be a stick, Will," Cordelia rubs her back. "It's just a happy pill. Make you really happy."



Willow hesitates.



"Hey, I'll take one too, ok?" She puts another pill on her palm. "On the count of three, Ok?" She looks at Willow. "Ok?"



"Ok."



"One…two… three." She pops her hand up to her face, seeming to take the pill. Willow follows suit. She doesn't see Cordelia palm the pill and slip it back into the vial.



It doesn't take long for the pill to take effect, and mixed with the alcohol, it's effects are intensified.



Where everything was bright and shiny before, now everything is new and exciting and wonderful. Willow looks around in awe, her heart swelling in her chest. She has a strong urge to go around just hugging anyone and everyone. It's all so good. All so sweet. God,

everyone is just… so… mmmm…



She feels a set of arms encircle her waist, and a familiar and loved pair of lips suck in on her earlobe, nibbling it. She melts back into Cordelia's arms.



"Having a good time, baby?" Cordelia whispers, her hands rubbing over Willow's bare tummy.



"MMmm… wonnerful" Willow sighs, feeling warm and soft and so alive.



"I'm glad, baby. But this party is starting to drag. Let's go upstairs."



"Upstairs?" Willow turns towards Cordelia, her eyes lidded. "Whaz upstairs?"



"Oh, another party. A private party, just for good friends. Some friends I want you to meet."



"Ohhh… cool," Willow smiles, leaning back into Cordelia. "Now?"



"Mmmm-hmmm sexy, right now," Cordelia purrs.



" 'K " Willow murmurs, feeling as if she's floating off the floor.



Cordelia gently disengages from her, and comes around, hooking an arm through Willow's. She moves towards the staircase, leading the compliantly stoned girl along with.



"Where we goin' 'gain?" Willow mumbles, when they reach the stairs.



"Upstairs, baby," Cordelia coos, pulling her along.



After some tricky maneuvering, Cordelia manages to get the inebriated girl upstairs. They walk down the hallway towards the end, stopping at the door.



"This it?" Willow looks at Cordelia, her eyes a bit out of focus.



"Oh yeah," Cordelia slips an arm around her waist. She kisses Willow softly. "You're gonna love it."



She opens the door, and a sweet odor assaults them.



"Is that pot?" Willow asks, turning to Cordelia.



"Uh huh… you don't mind, do you?"



"Oh no. s'cool." Willow murmurs. She looks around. "Kinda dim in here…"



"Yeah…" Cordelia says. She leads Willow inside, shutting the door after.



Everything after entering that room is pretty fuzzy to Willow.



She remembers sitting down, and after awhile making out with Cordelia. Then there were too many hands. When she protested,

Cordelia just told her to relax, it's all good.



But it wasn't. She remembers some pain, and at one point, feeling something warm and hard being put in her mouth. And something hard being forced up her rear. It hurt, really hurt badly. After that,

she doesn't remember anything at all.



She remembers waking up sometime later, shivering. Shivering, and feeling like she'd been run over a few dozen times by a garbage truck. She sat up, and it felt like a sledgehammer started hammering in her head. She sunk back down on the couch.



"I'll just lay right here for awhile," She murmurs, drifting off again.



She woke up again, later, to being shaken.



"Huh…wha?" She mutters, feeling rotten. She sits up, feeling lost and dizzy. But at least the hammer stopped pounding on her. "What's going on?"



"C'mon, Willow, you have to go home now. Party's over" Cordelia is standing over her.



"Cor? What happened? Where is everyone?"



"They went home, girl. Like you should. You've been sleeping for hours."



It's then that Willow realizes something. She's naked.



"Where… where're my clothes?"



"I dunno… they're scattered around here somewhere. You lost 'em pretty fast. Gotta say, you were one sexy little slut tonight."



"What?" Willow feels cold ice starting to grow in her stomach. "I don't get it."



"Oh, c'mon little miss innocent," Cordelia starts looking for Willow's clothes. "You were on fire."



"Huh?" Willow finds her top, and pulls it on.



"Here are you jeans, " Cordelia points at a spot across the room.

Willow stumbles over and picks them up.



"What're you talking about?" Willow is still in a haze. Her head feels to big, and her body feels bruised and achy.



"Oh stop, would you? I've never seen such a natural. God, at one point you had three cocks in you, one in each opening…"



"WHAT?" Willow feels like she's been hit by ice water.



"You were riding one guy, sucking off another and you called out "More, I need more!" So, another guy came up behind you and well, filled your rear hole too."



Willow stands there, jeans half pulled up, in shock.



"What… what did you do to me?" She whispers, not believing this is happening.



"To you?" Cordelia laughs. "No one could do anything to you. You were all over everybody. I've never seen anyone want it so badly.

Half the basketball team wants your phone number, and most of my cheerleading squad is in love with you."



"You… you drugged me!" Willow's voice starts to rise.



"What're you talking about?"



"That… pill, the one you gave me… what was it?"



"I didn't give you any pill," Cordelia says. "Where'd you get that idea."



"You… you bitch you drugged me, then … you raped me…"



"Hey, no one 'raped' you, sweet pea," Cordelia's tone turns harsh. "No one forced you. It was all you, baby."



"I was drunk and you drugged me!" Willow screams at her. "You fucking bitch, you did this to me! You and your friends raped me!"



"Oh give me a break. You were having a blast. I could tell. C'mon,

you loved it. You loved not being the goody two shoes for once. You loved being the slut."



"YOU … BITCH!" Willow charges at her, stumbles and falls on her knees. "You… bitch." She sits there, feeling helpless. She starts to cry.



"Hey, hey…" Cordelia comes over, and kneels beside her. "Hey, don't cry. Look, think of it like an initiation, baby." She puts an arm around Willow's shoulder. "You're part of the gang now. You're one of us."



Willow looks at her, and then rears back and slaps her hard.

Cordelia doesn't move, shocked.



"YOU… I Hate you! HATE YOU!" She spits on Cordelia. "I'm so gonna get you for … I'm going to the police, you bitch, and I'm gonna have your ass in jail!" She pushes Cordelia, and stands up, walking unsteadily towards the door. "That's rape, and you're gonna…"



"What?" Cordelia, recovering, stands up. She walks over to a side table, and picks up some pictures. "I'm gonna what? Maybe before you go running off squealing, you might wanna look at these."



She marches over, and shoves the pictures at Willow.



Willow looks at the pictures, and feels sick. They're all of her, in various positions, doing things she never even dreamed about in her worst nightmares. Worse, they look like she was enjoying what was happening. She feels her stomach wanting to hurl. She lets the pictures drop out of her hand.



"Go ahead, Willow. Go call the police. I'll show 'em these. They'll be really interested in them, I'm sure. Then I'll make sure they get around town, and on the Internet. By the time I'm done, the world will know what kind of whore you are!"



"You… drugged me… you…"



"Really? I don't remember giving you any drugs," Cordelia says, "And I'm sure any drugs YOU TOOK are out of your system by now. You can't prove anything, Willow. But I can…" She looks at the pictures.



Willow dives and retrieves the pictures, paying the price when she nearly crashes head first into the floor.



"Go ahead," Cordelia says, sneering at her now. "Plenty more where those came from. Digital cameras. Gotta love 'em"



Willow looks up from the floor, her face a study in hurt and betrayal.



"Why? Why'd you do it to me?"



Cordelia doesn't seem to understand for a moment. She moves towards Willow, but Willow backs away. She stops.



"It wasn't done to you. It's an initiation. Everyone's done it. I wanted you to be part of it…"



Willow just looks at her, mouth open.



"You… you're sick. God, you're so sick you don't even know… god…"



She gets up, finding strength in that place reserved for emergencies. She runs out of the room, stumbling but not stopping.

She runs down the hall, down the stairs, and doesn't stop running until she reaches the curb, far away from the main house. She sits down, and leans over, vomiting into the street.



Finishing for the moment, but never feeling she'll get the sickness out of her system, she sits there, alone. She can't go home right now. She's too sick, to hurt, to want to face that.



Huddling, her ass cold from the curb, shivering not from cold but revulsion, she sits there and cries, her heart breaking.



How could she think I'd want to be part of that? How could she do that to me? How … sick is she? Oh god, I'm a moron. I'm a… oh god…



She vomits again, then staggers to her feet. She can't stay here;

not so close to her humiliation. She has to go, move away, get away.

Anywhere would be better than here.



Hurting, both physically and emotionally, she moves slowly down the street.



Willow, sitting on the bench at school, shudders.



Even thinking of that now, I get sick, she thinks as her stomach starts turning over. Sicker when I know I should've gone to the police. She and her cronies raped me. RAPED ME!



She gets up, a resolved look on her face. I won't let her do it to Buffy. I gotta stop her… somehow, I gotta do it. Fix this. I won't let her screw anyone else up. I can't…



How could I sleep at night, knowing what she could do?



How could I live with myself?



She walks towards the school, determined to find Cordelia.



TBC.