Breathing By Rote

Title: Breathing By Rote
by Scylla Blue
Rating: FRAO -N-17
Paring: Angelus/Riley, Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: Do not own.
Summary: When Xander and Spike get tossed back in time, Angelus gets clued in on his future and decides to do a few things differently.
Author’s Note: No real warnings for this one, except I may come back and edit it. Some of the sentences feel awkward.


Chapter 13.

*
He was waiting for her when she came out of the kitchen, perched nervously on the edge of one of the booth tables. The one he liked to do his homework at and she could just see his backpack tossed onto one of the seats. He watched her from under lowered brows, but there was no menace in the guilty look. Last night his friends had managed to repress his Primal, though they foolishly thought they’d exorcised the hyena spirit completely. Didn’t they understand a soul did not come back after such a joining? Like vampires, Xander’s soul had been irrevocably merged with the Primal, and no quick spell could divorce them. Her little adopted brother was never going to be his innocent self again, no matter how he pretended.

Setting the pie into the display cooler she came around the counter. As soon as she was close enough that Xander could see her disappointment his shoulders hunched further. “I’m sorry, Lanie, for how I acted and, um, blowing off work. I’d totally understand if you wanted to fire me, but please don’t. I like it here a lot, and honest, I wasn’t myself.”

“No, you didn’t seem like it,” Lanie said as she slid onto the bench opposite the one Xander had left his bag on. The teenage swung his legs around to rest them on her seat and the vampiress didn’t comment about blocking her in. “Still, you seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

Xander rubbed the back of his head, dropping his chin to his knees. “I was really trippin’ so I don’t remember a lot, mind, but yeah, I was feeling pretty good. No one was picking on me or shoving me in the halls. They were all afraid of me, even Buffy, and my pack . . . They didn’t care if I was the smartest or had stock in hair gel. We just belonged and I felt so strong.”

“Invincible?”

“Yeah. It was such a great feeling, Lanie. My pack looked to me to lead them. They were mine.” The teen blushed then and Lanie arched an eyebrow. Just what had these kids done out of everyone’s sight?

“Xander, did you have sex with your pack?” she softly asked. Xander glumly nodded, cheeks staining darker. “With all of them? And I’m guessing no one considered using protection?”

“Weren’t really thinking of any consequences, no.”

Lanie swallowed her sigh, putting on a calm face when all she wanted to do was smack him. Boys! If her own brothers didn’t drive her crazy with their shit . . . “You should consider getting tested. Certainly those two girls who were with you should.”

Wounded dark brown eyes squeezed shut. “They’re all gone. Ran away.”

Ran away or did William have them stashed somewhere? She could ask her sire, but there was plenty Will didn’t tell her of his plans, his and Angelus’. Studying Xander’s despondent face Lanie chose her words carefully. “You might still feel responsible for them, Xander, but you’re not. It was a spell and now it’s over. They’ve made their choice to leave and you’ve made yours to stay.”

“So I can stay?” Xander asked in a small voice.

“Don’t be any more silly than you have to be,” Lanie chided, nudging at his legs so she could slip out of the booth. “This is as much your home as it is mine. The pie needs cutting and we need to do inventory today.”

“I’ve had a couple of nightmares about some guy exploding and trying to eat you.”

Lanie stopped, looking at him over her shoulder. So he remembered the Yellow. “Well, you won’t be seeing that guy again.” Mainly because he’d be in a new suit, but Xander didn’t need to know that.

“Lanie?” He had never asked what kind of monster she was. Not even if she was one at all, but he was asking now.

“Yes,” Elaine answered, hazel meeting brown without guile. Since he was finally man enough to ask, she wasn’t going to lie, no matter how the truth fucked up Will’s plans.

Xander’s body surprisingly relaxed and he hopped off the table. “Okay. Do you want me to go ahead to do the inventory now?”

And with the ease of those few words they returned to what was before, all the pink elephants safely shoved back in the closet. A few weeks later Lanie would be alone in the tea shop while Xander attended his school dance with Buffy and Willow. She knew what was going to happen. Xander was at last going to meet Spike, offered to the blond vampire by Angel in a ruse more complicated than the Scoobies knew. In her imagination, when brown eyes met pale blue there was a recognition, a silence of inches that spoke of centuries of want and desire finally cumulated in a passionate embrace.

None of that happened, of course. Xander no more recognized his mate than he would later see the familial likeness between Lanie and Riley. Such pain radiated from her sire when she came to him the following night, ears full of Xander’s complaints of one more Big Bad having come to Sunnydale to prove himself. William took her into his bed and though she did not smell the tears she knew they were there. There was no prophesy, no destiny written somewhere that Xander and Spike were meant only for each other. No guarantee that any of this would work out the way they hoped. How silly and desperate was it, pantomiming events when they no longer held any meaning?

Dru was supposed to have been there last night, but Dru was dead.

What future were they scrambling for when it was already changed?

~*~

1999.

This was all, Angelus decided, too familiar to one of Liam’s nightmares. Soft lighting cast a warm glow onto the expectant, down turned bed and burnished the trembling girl’s pale blond hair a rich gold. Scared, trusting eyes stared up at him, a small hand reaching out. His host used to have nightmares very similar to this, of the virgin bride and the marriage bed. Angelus now understood why.

“Angel, make love to me,” the Slayer implored. Through sheer force of will he prodded his feet to move, certain the bile rising to the back of his throat was more caused by the revulsion felt from the soul intertwined with his demon than his ingrained vampire instincts. This was perverse, and not the fun time to be had by all perverse. Vampires did not lie with Slayers.

Yet Angel had. His corrupted, crippled self had taken this girl’s virginity in an act of love. It was an act he wished more than anything to avoid, but his childe’s words spurred him to action. What if the bint stayed a virgin till Riley? Putting such responsibility on his boy would only confuse his loyalties. He needed the Slayer fixated on him, on her brooding, wounded-eyed Angel, and this was the final act in owning her heart. She could not love Riley.

“My love,” Angelus husked, kissing the dainty fingers offered, easing his large frame over her so very much smaller one. She barely made an indentation in the bed. Over two hundred years of experience and a previous lifetime of womanizing gave passion where none was felt and tenderness that masked calculation. It was a night of magnificent performance, his triumph at seeing Buffy’s eyes glow with love eclipsed only by her look of abject terror when he made a production of flopping about on the floor. His ‘turning’ from Angel and Angelus. In all honesty he wasn’t entirely sure what the gypsies’ curse would have done to him, but he suspected. Mortals believed the soul was cast into Purgatory, or some such nonsense, when a man was turned into a vampire. It was not a misconception that the vampiric houses felt a need to correct.

If the gypsies believed as the Watchers’ Council purported then their meddling would have ripped him asunder. A vampire was conceived of a demon and a mortal soul merging. To halve them after well over a century would drive them both insane. The idea explained Angel and his own behavior when the curse reversed. He must have been stark raving nutters. Liam, his rakish soul, was his most loved. Of all of the demon world, vampires were envied for carrying within themselves the vitality of life, that inner flame that animated dead flesh and made whole the pathetic creatures that demons were. To have woken bereft of that warmth Angelus of then must have thought himself returned to Hell.

It felt inherently wrong somehow, not to seize the advantage and eviscerate the Slayer then and there with the stupid girl crying and babbling hysterically over his inert form, but he restrained himself. Playing unconscious he impatiently waited for her to run off, promising something about help. Once she was gone he rolled to his feet and saw about getting dressed. From the back pocket of his slacks he pulled out a flip book.

Revert to Angelus. Check.

Kill Jenny Calendar. Not a big loss there, interfering gypsy slut.

Torture Giles. Okie Dokie.

Get sent to Hell dimension. Gonna have to work on that one. Getting run through with an enchanted sword really wasn’t high on his thrill list. William had a few ideas about a re-directional transportation spell, but he’d been quietly sulking about something. Most likely Xander related. Someone was bound to pop the boy’s cherry soon and Angelus suspected it wasn’t going to be his childe. His own boy was in South Korea, deep into something that had him babbling Chinaman in his head and determined to prove himself. His excitement was a vague tingle the vampire had long ago learned to tune out, but it made him smile as he slipped out into the wet Sunnydale night. His little one really was bloodthirsty beneath that earnest, shy exterior of his.

For a moderate fee intelligence on Margaret Walsh and her aspiring ambitions had been forwarded to him. He wasn’t the only one interested in the madwoman but Alessandro was seeing to those details. Walsh was soon to begin recruiting from the best the United States military had and Angelus knew his little hellion was going to be at the top of her list. If the brat could sport a hard-on hunting Chinese dragons, then a bunch of Sunnyhell demons were going to be nothing. Though he could peripherally sense his childe, Riley was no longer reciprocally attached. Because of his vile act he had separated himself from his boy, mentally distanced them as far as he could manage. Though Riley did not remember his rape Angelus could feel the stain just the same. He had sullied his precious childe in the basest way imaginable; his demon practically wept to think on it and he shoved such thoughts away. Riley was safe from him and would remain that way until the day Angelus could claim him for real. No matter what pain such resolutions caused him. Until he could again trust himself, Riley was free.

~*~

There were dangers presented to the demon world that existed in conjunction to the human one that were hastily and viciously eliminated for the protection of all. Most demons had no more interest in ruling the world than any human did. Oh, every family had that despot, but they were few and far between, and that’s what Slayers were for. There were other dangers to demon kind, however, that by their insidious nature required subtly and observation.

Maggie Walsh was such a danger.

The research she was proposing was nothing new. Actually somewhat tame considering what experiments demons had conducted for centuries, some on their own brethren. The objection dealt more with her species than her intent, and just who would have access to her findings. As information on Walsh trickled out from various military informants the ruling Houses of the US called for a council to convene. Alessandro attended personally since the threat of this woman’s insanity was going to happen literally in his backyard. The Council convened in Tulsa, a relatively neutral city, in the basement of a bakery that had been converted into a luxurious apartment for one of that city’s Master’s mistresses.

There were six of them that sat down at the marble dining table, though they had all brought guards and attendants. Beyond two of his wolves Alessandro had walked into the meeting with a bright eyed creature on his arm that quite stunned the other representatives, and not just because of her singular beauty. While relations between himself and Angelus were usually amicable, Ally knew he’d possibly crossed into dangerous territory when he’d requested this escort. There were particulars that a wise man did not challenge the oft volatile Master on, but in the past months the werewolf king had found this temptation too great.

Moira smiled as he pulled out a seat for her, ignoring the confused and, in the case of Miami’s Master, disgusted looks. Though he had known Angelus was grooming a future mate from what he understood to be an ordinary family, he had not learned the capricious vampire’s duplicity until he’d paid his obligatory respects to the hotel where Angelus was stationing his intimate court. The large building was still more empty than anything with its master mostly absent, but he had met the young woman who had been charged with overseeing the restoration.

The eldest of the Finns, a statuesque beauty who had stared right through him, utterly unimpressed by his standing or afraid of his monstrosity. Certainly her younger brothers treated him with more respect when their paths crossed, but they had just cause. Moira’s scent had been permanently altered by her master’s, but was still intoxicating. Sensuality, strength and a wit that easily drew blood; certainly not the most affectionate of women but Alessandro had fallen with the first barb, the showing of claws and teeth going right to the heart of him. No, not the warmest of women, but he had in subsequent visits seen the warmth she reserved for those deserving, such as her own twins, two little rambunctious boys who, in Alessandro’s estimation, were needing a father. Now if he could only convince a once burned angel and her psychotically overprotective master of his qualification. Moira believed her college sweetie had up and ran after she’d confessed their slip up, but Alessandro had his doubts. He’d recognized the look in Angelus’ eye the night he’d finally coaxed the story out of the young woman, the vampire down the floor playing blocks with Dean and Liam. Monster to monster, he’d known the fire that flared briefly in the yellowish eyes. Moira was here to watch over her younger siblings but also because she’d abused what freedom she’d had and now that autonomy was ended.

Alessandro knew the boys belonged to Angelus just as Moira did but he hoped to earn his partner’s trust. One of the other children had been given as a childe to Spike so he knew the dark vampire was willing to conditionally part with some of his collection. He had never contested Angelus keeping the older twins after he’d infected them and if the truth was needed he would confess he wanted those two little boys as much as he wanted their mother. To have children of his own loins was impossible, but that did not refute his desire to have them. The Finn line was strong and he had seen that strength in the now familiar hazel eyes. Those boys would make a man proud to call his sons and he would respect their mother as her station called.

As he was going to demonstrate with this little road trip. Angelus could trust this wolf with the virtue of one of his children. Sitting a human escort at the table while others were standing made the other four frown, but Graetus was the only one who objected.

“Do you seek to insult us all, bringing a human to this council, to sit it at this table?” Graetus was an old vampire by how time was reckoned, turned back when the Romans were what passed for civilized, and his ideas on women and those he decided beneath him had not changed in the last two millennia.

Before Alessandro could defend himself, however, the representative from New York’s council spoke up from around her coffee cup, which surprisingly smelled liked exceedingly strong caffeine. “Oh do shove it up your arse and light it, Gratey.” Louise Cortez easily matched the other vampire present in age and did not hesitate to use that equalizer to her advantage. Ally was certain Graetus was the reason Louise had been sent instead of a younger, male representative. Never let it be said New York didn’t possess a twisted sense of humor. “She’s human. Rumors have it so were you at some time.” She peered at him from over her cup. “Completely unfounded in my opinion. To think you once crawled out something warm and breathing.” She shrugged, taking another gulp. “Everyone knows Ally here has a silent partner.”

Graetus glowered at her, his gameface more grotesque than any Alessandro had seen in some time. He looked malformed. “You seriously think a human female has taken over nearly a third of the country? What kind of idiot do you take me for?”

“A great big, fat one,” Louise smiled and Moira covered her mouth to muffle her giggle while the New York vampiress dismissed the raging Master to happily exclaim over the pastries that had been left in the center of the table. “Krispy Kreme!”

“Do not mind them so much,” said a demon across from them that looked so much like a bipedal wolverine that he made even Alessandro’s hackles bristle. Lahoun Jun, Master of Texas and parts of Mexico.

Moira smiled and graciously nodded her head. “Thank you, I will not. My name is Moira, here to represent my Master’s interests though Alessandro will speak for us all.”

“Yes, don’t mind us. Just a little love/hate thing.” Louise took a bite from her donut. “Well, no love, and all soul consuming hate, but why quibble the portions? We’re here because of this witch the army is funding to poke her fingers where they don’t belong so let‘s just get down to this, why don‘t we?”

“Agreed, Louise, though I am certain you know my mind already. She is too sane to be left alive,” Lahoun Jun said. “Humans cannot be allowed to think we are safe to put in cages.”

“Yet she may be simply the head of the hydra,” Alessandro disagreed. “Kill her now and one: we won’t learn what she knows already and her larger agenda; and two: those who need to know of us in the military already do, but if we kill her with such open fear they may grow suspicious.”

“Ally is right.” Louise was licking her fingers of glazed sugar while she spoke. “Let’s give her a little rope to hang herself and make it so the army won’t want to try this again the next time some little nut job comes knocking. We all have demons in the various branches for whatever reason, but no demon is going to slip undetected into that camp. If the West Coast Masters won’t mind, New York is willing to offer the services of one of their human agents. He‘ll be able to report on Walsh‘s activities and when needed, eliminate the target and implement any contingency plans.” When Alessandro nodded the vampiress beckoned to one of the men standing behind her. Louise spared Graetus a nasty smile. “Humans do have their uses, Gratey. Ladies and gents, meet our Trojan horse, Graham Miller. Graham, have a donut.”

TBC.

-dancing around cackling madly - I love me!

Kammycat: Yep, Ian and Jack are derived of John. -scratch head- I’m checking out other people’s accounts, which look much cooler than mine, and some of those are free accounts. There’s nothing like learning in front of an audience to increase the learning curve, though. It is convenient, I gotta say. Once I'm done with BBR and OT I might switch over to only posting WIPS on Livejournal and waiting until stories are complete to post them to the archives.
Kage: I winced writing Lilah, but Angelus just couldn’t let what she did go. Not and stay a self-respecting vampire! I can't wait till Cordy meets the twins! It's not gonna be fireworks, that's for sure. More like C-4.

Next time: Graham meets Riley!