Altered Perception

Confessions

“Will” Angel growled and Spike could hear the threat, however never having been one to give into threats Spike didn’t pay any attention. “Angel, what the bloody hell are you playing at? Why haven’t you told her how you feel? Any idiot with eyes can she how she feels about you.” Angel who had looked as though he were re-thinking his promise to Giles not to stake Spike and regretting their newly formed bond suddenly stilled. “What do you mean how she feels about me?” he asked, Spike smirked, sometimes the old man could be so dense. His voice dropped until it was softer, so there was no chance of anyone overhearing them “Angel, I’ve seen the way she looks at you, her eyes follow you around the room. She moves herself so that she’s near you, you finish each other’s bloody sentences, for God’s sake Angel she’s in love with you.” Angel’s face lit up with hope which was almost immediately extinguished “even if that were true…” his voice was strangled “the curse” he finished on an anguished whisper.

“Oh for the love of everything that’s un-holy. Angel I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again, you are a bog-trotting bloody moron, the curse stops you from having perfect happiness, do you honestly think that sex with just anyone is going to give you that? What you and Buffy had, well it was one in a million, in a billion more likely. You love Cordelia, she loves you, that doesn’t equal perfect happiness though mate. You’ll have arguments, you might not even make it last but you can still do the good stuff. It’s no wonder you’re so bloody broody all the time if you’ve been living the life of a monk!” Angel looked as though he had been hit by a rebar, “oh god, you’re right” he whispered, suddenly he hugged Spike “you’re right!” he crowed, laughing as he spoke. “Well yeah, I usually am about these things” Spike grinned, happy to see his Sire so happy, he could feel the joy thrumming through the bond and it was infectious “so you gonna tell her then or not?” he asked returning Angel’s embrace. “Tonight” Angel said decisively, “I’ll try to get everyone out of the hotel so we have the place to ourselves then I’ll tell her.”

Spike suddenly stiffened, whilst he was happy for Angel having everybody out of the hotel didn’t mesh well with his plans to have everyone researching Xander’s predicament. Angel must have picked up on this through the bond as he immediately tightened his embrace despite Spike’s struggles to get free. “Ssshh my little one, of course we will still work to help Xander, I’m sorry I forgot, this thing with Cordelia can wait.” Spike shook his head, “no, one night wont make a difference, it’s just… I miss him and I want him back with me”. “I know Childe and I promise you, I will do anything to get your Xander back to you. Anything you need, anything at all, ask and it’s yours”. Spike sniffed, and surreptitiously wiped the traitorous tears from his eyes before peeping up towards the taller man through his eyelashes, a look that had always guaranteed Angel would cave and give him what he wanted and said “well, now that you mention it, there was something I wanted to ask you about…”

“Merci Monsieur Jacques, votre aide en cela a ete beaucoup apprecie. J’attends avec interet un rapport continu avec vous” As Spike hung up the phone he smirked at the gob smacked faces, only Giles seemed unsurprised, he had known of course from their nights spent talking that Spike was more than he let on and Angel was wearing a similar smirk to his, having been the one who painstakingly taught him French. “What? Thought I was some uneducated guttersnipe?” he asked, the comment particularly directed towards Wesley whose jaw was literally hanging open. “Oh, of course not” he spluttered, “it’s just… well, I didn’t know you could speak French, the watchers diaries never indicated…” he trailed off as he realised that Spike was playing with him. “Oh bugger off” he muttered under his breath.

Gunn clapped him on the back laughing “yeah, you tell him English” he snickered, glancing at Spike he said “so, wanna tell us what that was all about?”. Angel and Spike had spent 40 minutes speaking to various banks transferring funds into a new American account for Spike. Spike had also made a quick call to the hospital to check that Xander had arrived and been settled, the doctor he had spoken to had assured him that ‘Mr Harris had been made extremely comfortable and would be ready for visitors that evening’. All that remained was for Spike to set up the paperwork with the hospital for the bills to be taken from his accounts and he needed to speak to Red about paying off any debts against the house and maybe a college fund for Niblet. “Just some business that needed sorting Charlie-boy, now you guys got any news on how we’re gonna get Xander back?”

Spike expected silence, sad shakes of heads and platitudes about how they wouldn’t give up and that they could find an answer given enough time and he wasn’t disappointed. Wesley immediately started to tell Spike that he agreed with Giles and believed there to be mystical forces involved however they simply couldn’t narrow it down enough yet to pinpoint what may be causing it, there were just too many. However they did have some basic spells they wanted to try, “spells?” if it’s mojo we need shouldn’t we get Red here?” he asked Giles. “Whilst Willow is an exceptionally powerful witch the spells we want to try are rather basic, healing spells and a variance on a locator spell which will help us locate Xander’s consciousness, his essence for lack of a better term. If as I suspect his soul is on another plane then it may help us determine where and whether the forces we are dealing with are malevolent or not. Should this prove to be the case and we need to retrieve him then of course I will have Willow come to handle that side of things.”

Spike nodded, he’d never been all that comfortable with magic but if that’s what it took to get Xander back then he was all for it. He listened as Fred babbled about some idea’s she’d had, seemed she blended magic with some weird, genius physics, he didn’t miss the look of rapt devotion across Wesley’s face when the petite brunette spoke though. Seemed Angel and Cordelia weren’t the only people hiding attraction to one another. Angel noticed that he wasn’t exactly following the conversation and sidled over to him. “There’s blood in the kitchen, why don’t you go in and get something to eat? You look thin Will.” Spike nodded, grateful for the chance Angel was offering, to get away from the group of people and just be by himself for a few moments.

Body moving on autopilot Spike emptied a bag of blood into one of the mugs and slapped it into the microwave, as it started to hum and turn he leant against the counter, arms braced and head hanging down between his shoulders. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this, he needed to be doing something. Sitting around whilst others read books and discussed possibilities and vague ideas wasn’t going to get him Xander back. He needed to be able to just *do* something. As the microwave beeped he sucked in a deep breath, draining the mug in one go. Just because he’d made the decision to bag it from now on didn’t make it taste any better.

Deciding that he simply wasn’t ready to rejoin the group he glanced around the largish kitchen for something to distract him. His gaze flitted over the objects in the room, landing eventually on the radio. As he flicked it on he winced at the generic pop music that came piping out, quickly he flicked the dial searching for something that wouldn’t cause his ears to bleed. Finding a station playing what it termed ‘classic rock’ he settled on one of the chairs, resting his head on the table and allowing the music to wash over him. Smiling slightly to himself as he heard Paint in Black by the Rolling Stones start he lifted his head. Sighing to himself he crossed the room back to the sink and started the tap to wash the mug he’d just used. He could just imagine Cordelia’s screeching about blood rings in her coffee mug.

He started to hum along and then sing along with Mick, hips swaying slightly as the familiar song soothed him

I look inside myself and see my heart is black,
I see my red door and must have it painted black,
Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts,
It’s not easy facin’ up when your whole world is black,

Whirling suddenly as he sensed an unfamiliar presence in the doorway he was startled at the sight of a green demon with red eyes and horns wearing the most vile purple suit he’d ever seen clutching his head. He heard footsteps and sensed Angel before he saw him. “Lorne? Are you OK?” Angel rushed over to the demon and moved to support him, Spike watched as the demon, Lorne he supposed swooned, literally, into Angel’s arms. He fixed Angel with a look filled with pain and something else that Spike couldn’t place, whispered “the trials of Tenebrion” before promptly passing out.