Tears of the Soul

"What are you talking about?" A startled Angel inquired.


"You want to know what I´m talking about; I´m talking about that if it were only for you, I would have died on that night ten years ago. I only survived because of this someone, otherwise you two would have killed me.
I mean did you never wonder why I didn´t die that night or why I don´t have any ugly
scars on my body today. You have enough medical knowledge to know that I actually should have died from the wounds you put me on me.
After all a part of me is still human and I´m not some mighty master vampire,
whose wounds automatically heal.
Didn´t it ever occur to you to think about why I didn´t die on that particular night,
when I sure as hell should have." Xander demanded an explanation.


"You are right on that point, we never really thought about why you survived it.
We just had so much going on in our heads. We thought that maybe we didn´t hurt you as much as we thought we had.
We were just relieved and happy that we could still feel you through our bond and so we began immediatly with searching for you, in the hope of finding you again.
I think the rest just didn´t matter to us at that time." Spike tried to explain their attitude from the past.


"So, how did you survive? How did this someone save you? Was he a doctor or one of the masked man we saw on that video, who carried you out of the hotel?" Angel asked all the questions that came to his mind.


"No, this someone wasn´t one of the masked man or a doctor." Xander answered deliberately.


"Well, who was he then?" Spike queried impatiently, `cause he began losing his patience.


"I think it would be for the best if you two would sit yourselves down." Xander muttered in a calm voice. He sat himself down in the middle of the couch and waited for Angel and Spike to do the same. After some seconds of thinking, Spike and Angel eventually followed Xander. Angel sat on the right side of the couch and Spike on the left.


"Happy now? We are sitting. Now tell us finally." Angel barked at Xander.


Having taken a few deep breaths, Xander began telling.

"I don´t know how to even begin with telling you this.
I´m sure you remember when I told you on the morning before this happened that I had an appointment where I had to be and that I didn´t know how long I would be away.
The appointment I had was in a doctor´s office."


"You had to see a doctor! Why didn´t you told us that you were sick back then, we would have brought you there." A worried Spike shouted at Xander.


"What case of illness did you have? And why did you kept it a secret from us.
What was so special about this doctor that you took such a long way upon you?"
Angel asked concerned and curious.


"I had to take such a long way on me because this sort of "illness" as you so nice described it, is a very rare illness. So it took me some time to find a doctor who had my illness as a speciality." Xander replied, slightly irritated.


"And from what speciality are we talking about?" Angel questioned.


"We are talking about the speciality male-pregnancy." A nervous Xander whispered, while loking at the floor.


"Male-pregnancy!" both vampires screamed at once.


"So, let me get this right. You were there because you thought that you were pregnant?!" A surprised Spike yearned to know.


"Yeah, that was exactly the case. I mean you remember my strange behaviour the last weeks we were together bach then." Xander stated a bit ashamed.


"We remember it all too well.
All these appointments, the long clothes, your whole different behaviour;
now we know that it was all because of your pregnancy." Angel said.


"At first I myself couldn´t believe what was happening with me and my body.
So I started reading all the information I could get about male-pregnancy in books or in the internet and after doing that I was pretty sure that I was truly pregnant.
But I wanted to be a hundred per cent sure before I told you about it.
And as the docter than confirmed to me that I was indeed pregnant, I was so damn happy. I thought that my life couldn´t get any better than that and although I wasn´t sure how you two would be reacting to the news of beeing fathers, `cause we never really talked about this subject of having kids before, couldn`t I wait to get home and to tell you about it.
But you know the saying, don´t count your chicken before they are hatched.
So when I made myself on the way back home from the doctor`s office, one of the tyres of my car went flat and then out of nowhere there were suddenly these suspicious looking
guys coming towards me who were asking me if I needed help and the next thing I remember is how I woke up in that hotel room and, and I guess you know the rest."
Xander recounted.

"Wait a second. You were pregnant back then?" Angel requested.


"Yeah, and my pregnancy was the only reason I survived all of this.
Because of the babies I..." Xander was interupted,before he could finish his sentence, by Spike.


"One moment please. You said babies. You mean you were not only pregnant with one, but with two babies?"


"That´s right. I was pregnant with twins and because of them I had so much power in my blood. During the pregnancy the twins were already very strong and after the attack they supported me with their energy and healed me from the inside." Xander informed the two vampires next to him.


"I don´t know how to ask you this but, what happened to the twins?" Spike asked specifically, although he wasn´t too sure that he wanted to know the answer.



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