The Future Is What We Make

TITLE: The Future is what we make
AUTHOR: Willie J (aka Lemonychocolate)
EMAIL: wmj166@yahoo.com
ARCHIVE SITE(S): http://parrot.nearheralways.com/index.php, http://www.brain-insan.com/beyondcanon, http://www.adult-fanfiction.org
PAIRINGS: Eventual A/X
RATING: R for now
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Buffy et all, not Angel the Series.
FEEDBACK: Oh please send me feedback, privately or through the list
DISTRIBUTION: List Archives
SPOILERS: None
BETA'D BY: Kris and James (thank you for everything)

Chapter 7

Angel hurried into the bathroom, making sure that no trace of worry or fear was on his face. No use scaring the boy...at least not until he brought in the reinforcements.

Xander wobbled as Angel put him on his feet. Limbs, and muscles inactive for over a month were now unable to support his weight and Angel caught him in his arms as he began sinking to the floor.

Xander cursed luridly at his weakened limbs, wondering what the hell had happened to him.

“Xander, uhm…do you need help,” Angel asked delicately, gesturing to Xander’s crotch.

Xander blinked, wondering if maybe anyone had ever died of sheer embarrassment as he nodded his head. He felt Angel’s hands fumbling in his pants and gritted his teeth as he felt a cool hand grasp his cock. There was an overwhelming relief at the whispered word of ‘Go’ from Angel and sighed softly at the sweet release of his bladder in an endless stream into the toilet. He almost didn’t want to look down and see Angel’s hand on his dick, but he did and a thoughtful frown pulled down his brows.

After tucking Xander back into his pants and with a firm arm around Xander’s waist, Angel leaned forward and flushed the toilet. Scooping the young man into his arms and carrying him back into the bedroom, he was uneasily aware of the distant look on Xander’s face. He almost wished Willow had this shift instead of him.

Gently resettling Xander in the bed, he pulled the covers up and tried to make a hasty retreat from the room.

Backing away carefully and babbling that he was going to tell the others that Xander was awake and that they were all very anxious to see him and that he would just be going, to get them, that is…ah…right now. He had his hand on the doorknob when Xander spoke.

“Deadboy,” came Xander's calm voice, hysteria lurking, just waiting to pounce.

“Don’t you want to see Willow,” Angel pleaded, his hand tightening on the doorknob.

Xander ignored the vampire's obvious desire to escape, “Deadboy, what happened? The last thing I remember is that Willow was gonna do some kinda kamikaze thing, there was a flash of gray light and then nothing. Pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable and tell me what happened,” he ended, his eyes darkening with just the beginnings of panic.

Angel gave one wistful look at the door before reluctantly complying and sitting gingerly on the chair.

“Well,” he began slowly, looking everywhere other than the dark eyes. He could feel the weight of the boy’s gaze pulling at him, willing him to face the dark frightened eyes.

“Well,” he helplessly started again, “Uhm…you were unconscious for a while.”

Xander nodded, he had already guessed that and then narrowing his eyes he asked, “How long?”

“A month,” Angel winced as he replied quietly.

“A month, huh,” Xander looked thoughtful, ignoring the twinge he was starting to feel in his belly, “You know, back in my day we usta just call it being in a coma. Now, I seen plenty over the years and normally,” he said, stressing the word, “Normally people generally lose weight, ya know. But I seemed to have gained some weight,” Xander said, hysteria rising quickly in him.

Angel looked worriedly at Xander, “A little bit, yeah.”

“A little bit?! A little bit?!” Xander shouted, his eyes widening in disbelief, “I have a big belly, Deadboy. A HUGE freaking belly! And I sure as hell didn’t have one a month ago!”

"Xander, calm down," Angel shouted, alarmed at the way the furious boy’s eyes were slowly fading to a pearl gray color.

"Calm down?! Calm down?!" Xander shrieked, his eyes now a luminous gray. "I look like I swallowed a goddamn basketball....you calm the fuck down! I got a right to be uncalm! What the hell did you do to me?!"

"Me?!" Angel yelled, growing furious with the unjust charge.

"Yeah you," Xander yelled, his eyes turning back to his normal brown, "You were the one sit....," and his eyes grew distant and unfocused.

Angel regarded Xander uneasily, slowly rising from his chair.

"Oh my God," Xander whispered just before a sharp biting pain ripped through him from his stomach, almost doubling him over as he bit back a choked scream. But he wasn't successful in stopping the next scream or the next as he writhed in the bed trying to escape the intense pain radiating from his abdomen.

Angel jumped and looked wildly about at Xander’s first moan, then he yelled for Willow when the boy began screaming and clutching at his stomach. He bellowed n fon for Willow when she didn’t instantly appear in front of him.

Willow and Buffy burst through the door at Angel’s third yell, both trying to recover their breath from running from the kitchen up to the second floor. Willow leaned forward resting her hands on her knees, drawing ragged gasps of air into her lungs.

And at Xander's next scream of pain, she forgot about her difficulty in breathing and raced to his side, fighting with Buffy to reach him.

She glared accusingly at Angel, "What the hell did you do to him," her eyes darkening to midnight black.

"Fuck you," Angel shouted, as his eyes turned a harsh gold. "All I was doing was sitting here and talking to him, he woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. I took him, he wanted to know what the hell was wrong with him then he started screaming."

Buffy knelt on the floor beside the panting and writhing Xander, her eyes frantically searching his body for evidence of where the pain was coming fr She She blinked as she saw his belly ripple slightly and she fell back, scrambling away, her breath coming harshly in surprise.

"His stomach," she said hoarsely at Angel and Willow's puzzled glances, "It moved."

Willow perched on the bed and smoothed Xander's sweat soaked hair away from his white face, while watching her friend's stomach. She opened her mouth to make a nasty remark to Buffy when Xander groaned again...and his belly rippled, like something was moving just under his skin.

Carefully she eased away from Xander and stood back fearfully, her eyes wide in fear.

"A...Ang...Angel," she stuttered, her voice almost a whisper, "His belly's moving."

"Thank you, Willow for that brilliant observation," Angel said bitingly. "I think that I've already figured that out." He looked at Xander with worried eyes, there was something about the boy's scent that had him puzzled. It had changed in some way and it was driving him crazy with the need to understand.

Xander's piteous moans grabbed their attention then he started screaming and writhing in the bed again. Tremors racking his frame.

"Make it stop, Willow! Please make it stop, Angel," Xander pleaded, holding his stomach as tears ran unchecked down his face in his extreme pain. "I'm sorry I was ever mean to you Angel, now please make it stop hurting," he begged, opening his eyes to gaze up at the vampire.

", sh, shhhhh," Angel said softly as he knelt down and stroked a palm over the boy's sweaty face. "It's gonna be okay...shhhh, shhhh, we're gonna make it okay, don't worry."

Xander drew in a hiccuping breath, shuddering under the wave of pain washing over him. He wiggled closer to Angel, resting tiredly against the cool body, whimpering in relief as the vampire's cool flesh seemed to soothe the intense heat building in him.

Angel froze, looking down at the disheveled head resting against him. He glanced uncertainly up at Willow and Buffy to find both females gazing down at him with unreadable eyes.

Willow bit her lip, anger and jealousy vying for equal control at the way Xander seemed to gain some measure of comfort with Angel. She shook her head roughly, discarding the negative thoughts, all that should matter was Xander seemed a bit calmer and if he preferred Angel, then so be it.

"Buffy, run and tell Wesley that Xander is awake and in pain. We need answers," she said harshly as she watched Xander whimper softly as pain surged through him again.

With one backwards look at Xander, Buffy darted out the door.

Angel gave one swift look to Willow before he crawled into the bed with Xander and pulled him close, worried about the intense heat radiating the young man's skin.

Xander was unaware of the conversation as he tried to ride the waves of pain rippling through him, burrowing closer into the coolness that was enclosing him. He drew ragged breaths at each surge within him, feeling a cool palm stroke down his back that quieted the sharp pain, making it bearable.

Opening his eyes, he was astonished to find himself in Angel's arms and instinctively tried to move away only to dive back into the comfort of those cool arms at the vicious slash of pain that flared through him.

He looked up into Angel's unreadable eyes and looked away quickly. This was not good...so not good at all, he thought miserably, resting his head on Angel's chest.

Willow regarded the way Angel was holding her friend and raised her brows, a comtemplative look on her face.


Elsewhere Taryn paced his luxious apartment restlessly. For weeks now he had been feeling uneasy about...about what he did not know. It was so bad that he was barely eating or sleeping. Food tasted bland, sleep was nearly impossible with the dreams. It felt almost like someone or somet was was whispering to him, calling him to come. And what made this so was infuriating was he had no idea where to go to answer the call! He savagely kicked over a table in his frustrated rage, ripping a pillow to shreds and almost destroying the room before he felt more in control of himself.

“Clean up this mess,” he growled to the terrified servants lurking outside before he stormed out of the apartment and headed to the Shaman Enclave. He put visiting a shaman on the same level as facing two thousand charging warriors. Alone, naked and armed with only a feather. Not really something he was in favor of doing.

As he rounded the corner to the shaman's domain, he slowed at the sight of Jennes and Lourdey's pacing back and forth before the entrance.

Jennes looked up, his green eyes flaring at the sight of his friend and exclaimed, "Finally!"

Lourdey glanced up quickly, his eyes as well lighting up at the sight of Prince Taryn. Blessed be, he thought almost sagging in relief.

Taryn raised a brow, "You are normally not so fulsome when you see me, what is different now?"

"Shaman Sourd," Lourdey answered simply and Taryn nodded in understanding.

While many may argue that warriors and the princes were arrogant, they were mere children compared to a shaman’s arrogance. The only one that didn't act like that was Sourd, shaman to the High King. Of course, once you got past his rude, sharp and grouchy disposition he was really a nice individual.

"What are you two doing here," Taryn questioned, not really wanting to discuss his reason for being here for fear of being seen as weak.

Jennes and Lourdey exchanged uncomfortable glances. When they had arrived separately at the entrance to the shaman's domain, they were both a bit surprised and uneasy to see each other. While they were friends, no Jaztar would dare to reveal a weakness to another for fear of being thought of as less than a Warrior.

Jennes glared at Lourdey, silently urging the other to speak first. Lourdey was supposed to be the talker, a Judicator. Then Jennes' eyes narrowed on Taryn’s face, noting the faint lines of exhaustion, shadows lurking within the lilac eyes darkening them to a purple haze.

“You’ve been having problems sleeping, haven’t you,” he said abruptly with little emotion on his face.

Lourdey took a step back and closed his eyes with a slight moan, Taryn was definitely going to kill Jennes. Then he started, listening closer to Jennes as the other described what was afflecting him. But how did Jennes know? He eyed the other with deepening suspicion.

Taryn regarded his soon-to-be-dead friend with hooded eyes.

“And you feel like someone or something is calling you, whispering to you to come but you don’t know where,” Jennes continued, disgarding the icy expression on his friend’s face. “And both of you are wondering how I know?”

Taryn merely arched a brow, choosing to remain silent. Giving Jennes a bit of mercy before he killed him. It was the least he could do.

Jennes took a deep breath for courage, because to reveal another Warrior’s weakness in front of another would generally cause a fight to the death.

“The reason why I know is because I’m having the same symptoms and I suspect that Lourdey is also having the same symptoms,” Jennes added, his green eyes steady and calm.

Taryn was shocked out of his frozen deadly calm. This was truly cause for concern among the Jaztar, while a weakness could perhaps be tolerated or accepted, diseases were emphatically not. And for all three of them to be experiencing the same symtoms, he shuddered, it could only mean one thing…

“Plague,” Lourdey whispered in horror, his eyes wide.

“Nonsense!” snapped the Shaman Sourd as he beckoned them into the domain of the shaman's.

Hesitantly, they bowed and enteredFollFollowing Sourd, they looked aroat tat the fabled Shaman enclave, exchanging smirks with each other about how they would just casually drop it into the conversation that they had actually went INSIDE the shaman's domain and spoke with Sourd. They sneered at the haughty, surprised expressions on the shamans’ faces as they passed, though they made sure they stayed right behind their shaman…no telling what these crazy shaman's would do to them if they strayed away from Sourd.

“In here,” Sourd abruptly said as he fumbled open a door to reveal ten of the senior shamans sitting in a semi-circle with cool remote expressions on their faces.

“Sit, sit, sit!” Sourd chided them, shooing them irritably to three empty chairs.

Lourdey and Jennes nudged Taryn to go first, elicting an angry glare from him before he proudly walked and sat down in the closest chair. Jennes and Lourdey watched carefully and seeing that nothing happened to him, they each strutted over and sat as well.

“You’re probably wondering why you’re here,” Sourd said after exchanging unreadable looks with his fellow shaman.

Taryn jumped as Jennes kicked him, “Yes, we are.” When this was over he was going to KILL Jennes!

Sourd sighed and looked at the circle of sand, “Of all our people, only a shaman has access to magic and can actually use it to see into the future. The apprentices are generally taught how to do this, see the future as a matter of course during their training. Seeing vague images and then becoming much more proficient with age. Some won’t see anything, while some will…that just how it works but the majority will get glimpses. However, no two apprentices will ever see the same thing, too many variables,” he said waving a hand vaguely.

“Traditionally, we have the apprentices practice on the royal families since it is extremely easy to see their futures since Kings and Princes generallyne bne brighter. And since Prince Taryn is the reigning favorite for the month, at least 20 decided to see into your fu. E. Early this afternoon, 20 of the apprentices failed to See anything of your future,” he continued blandly, not giving a hint at the screaming panic that had raced through the enclave when the sands were recast and the journeymen tried, then the masters. No one was able to pierce the veil that hid Prince Taryn’s future.

Taryn sat frozen in his chair, feeling a pain stab through him at his impending death. He lifted his chin proudly, determined to face his death like a warrior.

Jennes and Lourdey looked at him with carefully hidden sympathy, a sharp feeling slicing through them at the thought of losing their friend.

“Needless to say, this was so highly unusual that we went through the entire royal lines. We could see everyone’s futures, with the exception of you three,” Sourd finished quietly his sharp eyes watching their minute reactions.

He caught the small wince Lourdey made, the hand that Jennes held against his stomach and his eyes narrowed in thought. Could it be…

Before he could say anything, Taryn grunted softly as pain clawed at his insides, swiftly followed in succession by Jennes and Lourdey each hissing, their hands pressing against their abdomen.

“You’re pregnant,” Sourd exclaimed, his voice almost lost in the uproar from the other ten shaman.

“Impossible!” Was hissed through gritted teeth as Jennes doubled over, nearly falling out of his chair.

“Well, someone is pregnant with your child then,” one of the shaman said over the groans of pain as they tried to help the three males.

“The boy,” Lourdey gasped as horrified realization hit all three males. He was helped to his feet and was made to walk the pain off.

“Boy? What boy,” one of the shaman questioned brusquely as he guided Jennes to his feet, steadying him as they walked. Experience had shown them that the best method of handling the pain of a birthing bond was by walking, it's effect giving the illusion that the parent or parents were getting closer.

"That...that witch Amy forced us to rape a human youth," Taryn spat out as he angrily shook off the helping hands and walked on his own.

“HUMANS?!" One of the watching shaman nearly yelled in disgust, while the others had various expressions of revulsion on their faces.

“Yes!” Taryn almost snapped out before he recalled exactly who he was with and where he was, changing his tone to a slightly more moderate sound. Very slight.

“Yes, I seem to recall that you wound up taking the High King son’s place to serve Wolfram and Hart,” Sourd said in a distant cold tone, easily recalling the blazing argument between he and Saln, the High King. All over that smirking creature he called a son. Alvn, Sourd's mouth twisted sourly.

Saln should have taken his advice centuries ago and tha that wretched child out to be fostered…that spoiled nasty boy really, REALLY needed someone to teach him what a true Jaztar was. Either that or simply put him out of his misery and snap his neck, Sourd snorted to himself.

It was simply disgraceful to allow that…excrement to wiggle out of his duty, he thought disdainfully. While it was true that their people had a reputation for indulging their children, there always was a time to allow a child to grow up, become a Warrior!
en aen a slow wicked smile crossed Sourd’s face, shocking evne ine into silence and drawing back uneasily, watching him with fearful eyes.

“I think it would be best for all concerned that Princes Taryn and Jennes as well as Lourdey to go and retrieve their humans,” he said smoothly, he planned on rubbing the fact that humans were able to gift these three with children, while Prince Alvn still remained childless.

Taryn, Lourdey and Jennes exchanged uncomfortable looks, before Lourdey spoke reluctantly.

“One human,” he said and shut his mouth quickly.

Sourd blinked, looking puzzled, “One human, what?”

“One human, not three humans,” Jennes said uneasily, watching the shaman look among themselves in confusion.

“There was only one human,” Taryn clarified with a small smirk, enjoying the looks of confusion on the faces of the shaman.

“Bu…but that’s impossible,” stammered one of the shaman, his eyes darkening to deep magenta in his distress.

“As impossible as a human male being pregnant, no doubt,” another asked sardonically, making the other fall silent.

Sourd sighed, “Well, you still need to retrieve your human and bring him here. Otherwise there’s no guarantee that the child will live through the pregnacy,” he didn’t bother to add that the human would certainly die in the birthing process. No human had ever survived giving birth to a Jaztar.

“That might be a problem,” Taryn siad slowly and gave Lourdey a meaningful look.

Lourdey gritted his teeth and shot Taryn an annoyed look before speaking, “The human is protected by a vampire, a dark witch…”

“That shouldn’t matter,” a shaman interrupted impatiently, brusquely waving a dismissive hand.

“…and a Guardian,” Lourdey finished calmly with his hands folded.

“Well, that’s certainly changes matters,” the shaman muttered, shaken.

“We thought so,” Taryn said with a hint of arrogance, while Jennes and Lourdey secretly marveled at his cool attitude.

Sourd was startled, “A Guardian?! Are you certain,” he demanded of the three males.

“She bears the sword,” Jennes replied quietly, with a tilt on his head.

“Well, clearly you will need to either persuade the human to come here for the safe birthing of the child…,” another shaman began, before his words trailed off and his eyes widened in shocking surprise.

“Wait! Has everyone realized that either the child has four fathers or….,” he stopped at the spreading silence his words brought.

“…or there are three, possibly more children,” another finished in a near whisper.

“Humans have been known to have multiple children in one birthing,” said another with some hesitation.

Sourd gave him a biting, withering glare before speaking slowly, “Clearly it has been some time since you have seen a female, so perhaps you wish to visit with one of your female humans." Feeling cold satisfaction at the embarrass shame on the other's face.

He turned back to the two princes and the Judicator.
"Go to the human and reside with him if it is his decision to remain where ever he lodges. When he is dead you will naturally have guardianship over however many children he produces and you will raise the children here among the Jaztar,” Sourd instructed them calmly.

“They may not wish to allow us access to him,” Jennes with some hesitation. Taryn and Lourdey nodded in agreement.

Sourd smiled sourly, “They will when he begins screaming again. You three have never been around a pregnant Jaztar so you may not have realized that the pain you felt a while ago is but a taste of what will happen to you four if you are not within two feet of the birthing parent during this stage of the child’s development. This is how an embryonic Jaztar survives, by bringing together its parents, uniting the family unit and making the family strong thus increasing the chances of the growing child’s survival. As the gestation continues, you will be able to increase the distance between you and the parent but at this point in time, the children will kill all four of you in their determination to live.”

“However, it’s your choice whether to accept a half-human child or not,” Sourd shrugged, carefully not revealing how desperate he was for them to agree.

Taryn glanced at Jennes and Lourdey before bowing, answering for them all, “We will need to time to think over this decision. I do not believe my fathers would welcome a human child into the family. I believe they would sooner see me dead than to allow that to happen,” he admitted, without a show of emotion.

Sourd acknowledged Taryn’s words with a raised brow, he had not known the tense situation between King El-don, his consort and his younger son had disgenerated to such a degree. He eyed Taryn narrowly, it was probably because of Taryn’s older brothernek.nek. His eyes widened at a sudden thought, then hardened into deadly coldness. He had forgotten that Janek was Alvn’s current lover and at the time he had questioned why Alvn had picked Taryn of all Warriors, to take his place. But now, he wondered whether Janek had something to do with that decision.


It took Taryn, Lourdey and Jennes two days of body twisting pain to decide to find the human and demand to stay with him. That and the mocking laughter and jeers as word gooundound about the impending birth by the human male. Insinuations that it took three of them to get a male pregnant, the jeers that they preferred humans over their own kind, the looks of scorn on their fellow Jaztar faces.

But the deciding factor in Taryn’s decision was his brother, Janek's ill-fated decision to visit him. Had it not been for Janek he would have, perhaps, chosen to die rather than claim a half-human child.

As he left his apartment, cleaning his bloody hands and claws on his cloak he thought coolly to himself, the humans have an expression: the best revenge is to live well. He spared a brief thought to his older brother lying bleeding and wounded in his apartment, well, perhaps it’s time for me to see how that idea works.