Some Secrets Shatter

Title: Some Secrets Shatter

Author: Caliadragon

Fandom: Buffy

Category: AU

Rating: R

Part: 1/1

Pairing: Xander/Surprise, Xander/Buffy Friendship, Xander/Andrew

Warnings: Violence, Angst, Slash

Feedback: On list or at caliadragon@myself.com


Archive: Any list I send it to, those with prior permission and BC

Disclaimer: Not Mine

Summary: Dawn and one of the potentials play with magic and Xander
gets zapped unconscious.

Thanks to Edi for the beta

AN: In this, Willow and Xander will not be that close.








1/1







Xander lay unmoving on the couch where Buffy and Faith had lain him.
Willow and Giles were berating Dawn and Vi for playing with magic
and harming Xander. "It's just a sleep spell, what's the big
deal?" Rona said, drawing everyone's attention to her.


"The big deal is that magic doesn't work right on Xander,"
Spike snarled from his place by the wall. Dawn was crying and wringing her
hands.


"It was an accident, we weren't trying to do the spell. I'm
sorry." Dawn buried her face in her hands and sobbed. Willow pulled the girl
into her arms and rocked her. Vi was pale and wondered how bad it
would get.


"Willow, something's happening," Buffy called. They all
turned back to see a light pulsating around Xander. It floated around him for
several minutes before pictures began to form, flickering in the strange
light.


"Oh my," Giles whispered as the scene began to take shape.
Xander was swivelling his hips back and forth, his head thrown back in
sensual delight. Hands ghosted over his body and his shirt was slowly pulled
off. Then Xander opened his eyes and they could see that they were blank
and empty. His face held resignation and revulsion.


Seconds later the scene changed, this time Xander was naked. His
back was a bloody strip of wounds and bruises. "Who do you
belong to?" a voice asked softly.


"No one," Xander answered defiantly, before the beating
began again. The on-lookers could only watch as Xander was brutally beaten
and raped. Some of the girls wept and Andrew had curled into himself,
sobbing.


Finally Xander's attacker took substance and they saw his face. Rage
and horror whispered through the room as Angelus came to stand in
front of Xander. "Who do you belong to?" he asked again.


"No one..." Xander gasped out. Angelus snarled in rage and
beat Xander again. The beating seemed to go on for hours, until finally
Xander was slumped against his bonds, unconscious.


The image flickered again and Xander was standing alone. Across the
from him Willow, Oz, Giles and Buffy were sitting at a picnic
table. He turned and walked the opposite way. Pain and rage clear on
his face.


Other images followed, mostly of painful conficts during their
senior year. Images of Xander being treated as an outcast among his
friends. As well as images that none of them thought to see. Xander fighting
and defeating demons on his own. Xander making love to Anya. Images
of seeing her cheating on him the night before their wedding.


Images of him standing her up at the alter. Images of seeing Buffy
and Spike together. The violence of their couplings and his running
away. Images of being burned by Willow as he tried to get through to her.


Images that were more recent. Xander being attacked by demons that
found themselves being ripped to shreds. Xander fighting with the
Scoobies, bumbling into the fight. Being saved even when he didn't
need it.


The First coming to him, only to find itself out-matched and
out-classed. Xander throwing barbs and magic at it. Then finally
images of Xander getting hit by the spell.


As the glow faded away Xander opened his eyes and looked around him
in confusion. When he turned to look at Buffy she was crying.
"Buffy, what's wrong? What happened?" he asked urgently as he sat up.


"Why didn't you tell us, Xander?" Giles asked softly.


"Tell you what?" he asked, confused. What the hell had
happened?


"That you were raped by Angelus, that you can fight demons
better than me. Or the fact that you defeated the First using magic?" Buffy
said painfully.


Xander surged to his feet, swaying lightly. "When did you learn
this?" Xander asked angrily. He never would have told anyone anything.


"Dawn and Vi hit you with a spell by accident and it played
images as far back as the second year after we met," Giles told the angry
young man.


Xander stalked past his friends and headed to the door.
"Xander! We deserve an explanation!" Willow snapped.


Xander spun to face her, rage clear on his face. However, before he
could say anything Buffy spoke up. "We deserve nothing. When
Xander is ready to talk to us, he will."


Xander looked at her for several moments, before holding out his
hand to her. "Come with me, Buffy, and I'll tell you what you want
to know." He ignored the others and led Buffy out of the house after she
took his hand.


They just walked for a while, letting the sunlight and the open
air calm them. Buffy felt guilty for all of the times she had chosen
Angel over Xander. For never seeing him for who he truly was.


When they reached the park they both sat down on a patch of grass.
Buffy was the first to speak. "Xander, I am so sorry. If I had
killed An-"


"Don't, Buffy. You didn't know and I never blamed you. I never
wanted you to know what happened. Deadboy and I made our peace over what
was done to me," Xander told her sharply.


"Did Spike know?" she asked softly.


"No, Only me, Deadboy and Dru knew. She cast a spell on me to
make me do what Angelus wanted me to do. Though she didn't really want
to," he said. His voice was softly puzzled.


"Shme tme to me the night before you went to fight Angelus. She
told me she knew what you and Spike had planned and that Willow would
complete the spell. I wanted to tell you, but she told me you would
die if I told you about the spell. So I lied and Angel got sent to hell. I
want you to know I hated myself for that. Not because I lied, but
because you were hurt." Xander took her hand in his.


Buffy tightened her hold on his hand. "What about the demon
fighting and the magic?"


"Willow. You know how Giles was always going on about how the
one with the soul was to assist you?"


"Yes, we always thought it was Angel and now Spike," Buffy
answered.


"It wasn't. It was me. There are things you don't know about
me. I'm a half demon. My real father was a demon hunter. When he met my
mother he couldn't kill her. He loved her. She hunted other demons.
They fell in love and I was the result. When I was two, my father was
killed. To protect me, mom moved to the hellmouth. She married Tony
Harris not long before I met Willow. I never knew any of this. It wasn't
until Senior year that I learned of my past. Then I found out about
magic and that I had it in me. It's why I'm a demon magnet and why magic
doesn't work right around me.


At first I thought it was because my own magic interfered. It turned
out that Willow had a spell on me. She was siphoning my magic away.
After Tara's death and her going back to white magic she stopped. I
talked to my mom and she began to train me.


Buffy, I didn't want to bring you back. I love you and I'm glad
you're here, but I didn't want this. I always knew you were in heaven. You
had done too many good things, sacrificed too much not to be."


"Why did you help?" Buffy asked painfully.


"A compulsion. Willow placed it on me. Anya had to have helped
her, because Tara wouldn't have. I think that Willow may have had a spell
on her as well," Xander answered.


They were both silent and Buffy thought of all that she had been
told. It made sense. It also explained why Xander was never alone with
Willow any more.


Buffy wondered yet again how she could have been so blind to what
was going on around her. She jumped when Xander suddenly swore and
jumped to his feet.


"What is it?" she asked.


"I left Andrew at the house. He had to have seen the spell
effects. He'll be upset," Xander told her as they started back to the
house.


"Um, why do you care?" Buffy asked, confused.


"You didn't see with the spell? Andrew is my lover,"
Xander told her.


Buffy gaped at him for a second, then grinned. "I always knew
you had a thing for bad boys."


The two of them looked at each other for a moment then burst into
laughter. Neither of them knew what was going to happen next or if
they would win the fight they were in, but they knew they would do it
together. Their friendship was back to where it needed to be, and maybe it
would be better.





The End



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