Hidden, But Still There

TITLE: Hidden, But Still There
AUTHOR: Mandylynn (mandylynn4@yahoo.com)
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own ‘em. Joss does. Enough said.
RATING: R
SPOILERS: Season 1, Prophecy Girl to be exact
PAIRING: Angel/Xander
SUMMARY: The events that played out in Prophecy Girl that you never got to see.
DISTRIBUTION: My site (www.geocities.com/miranda_l_hedge/index.html) and anywhere else with permission. Buddy, of course, has my permission, as this is her gift.
FEEDBACK: Any and all taken and loved, except flames.
AN: Written for Buddy’s birthday…hope you like it. My first time writing this pairing. Also, this is un-betaed. Sorry for mistakes.

~*~

Giles winced at the bruise on his jaw. “As the soon-to-be purple area of my jaw will attest, I did not let her go.” He was far too tired and achy to be dealing with this lot of kids right now and his slayer was out there, with a prophecy to die in her head and an axe in her hands. Sometimes he wondered why he even came to Sunnydale. It’s not like there wasn’t a few dozen other Watchers-to-be waiting to come to the Hellmouth for her.

“Well, how can we help her?” Willow asked.

Jenny cut in, determination and anger flashing in her dark eyes. “Uh, I’m sorry to bring this up, but don’t we have an apocalypse to worry about?”

Xander turned to her. “Do you mind?”

“How come she’s in the club?” That was Willow again, spite rolling off her in waves. Jenny winced inwardly, but on the surface, she clenched her teeth to stay calm.

“Hey! Once the Master gets free, the Hellmouth opens, the demons come to party, and everyone dies.”

Xander had had enough. ‘Uh, uh. I don’t care. I’m sorry, I don’t. Right now I gotta help Buffy.” Forget that she shot you down and forget that she’s got major eyes for that vampire freak, he thought. Just find her and help her. She needs you.

“We don’t even know where she’s gone,” Giles added, breaking up Xander’s thoughts.

The idea sprung into his mind with such force, he was afraid at what it might imply. Angel. He’ll know where she is. He has to. “No. But I can find out.”

~*~

“Oh. Look who’s here.”

Angel could sense that something was off. Something was wrong. But until Xander had shown up, the feeling was pushed to the back of his mind. Now, the boy was standing on his doorstep, determination in his eyes and fear in his heart. Something was definitely wrong.

“Mind if I come in?” Xander asked, not bothering to wait for a reply. He stepped into the apartment and tried to brush off the underlying currents of dislike and sarcasm floating around him. The door shut behind him and he nearly jumped out of his skin. Great, he thought. Make it known that you’re jittery and scared. How manly.

“Make yourself at home.”

Let’s get right to the point then. “She’s gone.”

Angel stared at him. “Whaddya mean?” He hadn’t heard that correctly. She’s gone? Buffy? The feeling of dread and worry rushed back to him…and the smell of fear coming from the human now made sudden sense.

“Buffy. She’s gone to fight the Master.”

“He’ll kill her,” he responded withouinkiinking. The prophecy was true. She was going to fight the Master and he was going to kill her. Then all hell was going to break loose. Literally.

“Rumor has it.” Xander watched the tiny shudder go through the vampire’s body. Not good. “Only we’re not gonna let it happen.” Another shudder. Chocolate eyes turned to him.

“Well, what do you propose we do about it?”

“Look, I know you can find this Master guy. He’s underground, right? Take me to him.” Xander puffed his chest out slightly, willing away the fear he was ped ped with and trying to look like the warrior he always believed himsto bto be. Angel almost snickered. And it pissed him off.

“You’re way out of your league, kid. The Master’ll kill you before you can even breathe. If you’re lucky.”

The boy grit his teeth and stepped forward, one hand gripping a cross with all his might. “How can I say this clearly?” The cross went up and Angel tried desperately not to hiss and morph. “I don’t like you. At the end of the day I think you’re pretty much a vampire. But Buffy’s got this big old yen for you. She thinks you’re a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right.” That did it. The vampire’s hatred softened and melted down. For Buffy. Yeah. He’d do this for her. Not for him – the boy who followed her around like a lost puppy. For Buffy.

“You’re in love with her,” he said, realizing now why the child before him was willing to die for the girl. Realizing that he wasn’t just a stupid, crush-stricken kid with a death wish. He really did love Buffy. Just like he


“Aren’t you?”

Yes. Xander was smart. Despite all he’d thought about him before, Angel had come to that conclusion. Sure, he put on the idiot act for everyone else, but inside he had intelligence to spare. Either that, or Angel’s feelings for Buffy were naked to everyone. But somehow he doubted it. So the boy was smart. Going after the Master with a little cross and stake wasn’t exacteniuenius material, but he did have some brains.

A few minutes passed before anything was said. But, the anger inside Xander began to get to him. “So we have common ground. You love her and I love her. Let’s get on with the saving her already.”

Angel nodded. “Any other requests before we both die trying, kid?”

“Yeah.” Xander growled his next statement. “Stop calling me kid.” Angel looked surprised for a moment and laughed. He really underestimated the strength of the ‘kid’ before him. Adrenaline rush, raw dislike, and complete panic hit Xander at once, and he launched himself at the vampire, knocking him to the ground. “What’s so funny, Deadboy?” He pressed the cross to the vampire’s chest and smoke began to rise from beneath it.

Angel howled and bucked the brunette off of him, moving into a crouched position above him. “You’re going to wish you’d never done that, kid.” Fangs were bared and he gnashed them in Xander’s face. Terror and hostility wracked the teenager’s body. With one swift motion, the cross and stake in the boy’s hands were knocked away and six feet three inches of vampire were braced above him. Hands were next to his head and knees locked his hips in place.

“Get off me, you undead freak,” Xander said, more calmly than he’d ever thought possible. “We’ve got to go save Buffy.”

Angel didn’t move. He moved forward and sniffed at the scents coming off of the warm body beneath him. Fear and…a pinch of lust seeped into his nostrils. He breathed deeply, trying to hold it in his nose forever. The smell of lust got a bit stronger. Who’d have known that the slayer’s whipping boy was…interested? He thought back to what Buffy had told him earlier about Xander’s comments about him. She had said that Xander thought he was attractive…that he was definite competition for anyone who tried to get near her. Funny, he thought, now that he was finding out how attractive Xander thought he was.

“Are you…sniffing me?” Xander’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Gross! Get up!” He pushed at Angel’s solid frame, but it didn’t budge. “Get off me!” His mind whirred at the situation. Angel could kill him and no one would even know. At least not for a few days…unless the vampire lied and said he’d died saving Buffy…and no one would know that he was slaughtered by the souled vampire.

“You smell…good.” Angel took another deep inhalation. Xander shuddered. “Good enough to eat,” he purred. His demon screamed out to take him…to sink fangs into that tanned flesh…to drink that warmth…and taste what smelled so delicious. But his soul screamed back to shut up. Unfortunately, the demon won…and his tongue snaked out for a taste.

Xander gasped as cold wetness hit his neck. He was going to die. I hope heaven has free cable and plenty of pizza, cuz I’m gonna be moving in real soon, he thought. The tongue swiped up from his collarbone to his earlobe and back down. The vampire above him groaned. The boy tasted like white chocolate and peanut butter…sweet, sugary.

“You taste good, too.” When Xander’s form stiffened, Angel shook his head and sat up, tugging himself off of the boy. He put his face in his hands. “Oh my…Xander. I’m sorry…the demon…it got out for a minute and…”

The fright was back. But there was something else there. A sense of despair. A sense of longing and hunger. Xander sat up. “You’re not going to kill me?”

“No.” The admission was stern and Angel’s face, back to it’s angelic form, was full of terror at the implications. “I would never…”

“Are you…I mean…are you…hungry?” How embarrassing. Truly. Angel swallowed thickly and his eyes flickered to Xander’s neck before he answered.

“No.”

“Maybe you should eat something.” Angel shook his head sharply. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Another long bout of silence. Finally, Xander cleared his throat. “Let’s go get Buffy.”

“Okay.”

~*~

“This way,” Angel directed. They were in the sewers, with the vampire ‘feeling’ out the Master’s lair. The walk so far had been tense and the throbbing hunger pains filled Angel’s stomach with every step. Xander had smelled so good…and tasted even better…the vampire stole a glance at that sweet-smelling neck…and was caught. “What?”

“You were looking at my neck.”

“What?” he tried to feign innocence. Apparently Xander wasn’t buying it.

“You were checking out my neck! I saw that!”

“No, I wasn’t!” The scent of lust invaded his brain again and he bit his tongue to keep from moaning.

“Just keep your distance, pal.”

“I wasn’t log atg at your neck.”

“I told you to eat before we left,” Xander mumbled. He kept walking, but was plagued by the overwhelming feeling that he was being watched. He suddenly spun around and stopped, the vampire nearly running into him in the process. “Are you…”

Angel took a deep breath. “I lied.”

Xander felt himself pressed up against the nearest wall, Angel’s body holding him in place, and fangs grazing lightly on his neck. He whimpered.

“It won’t hurt,” he heard Angel whispered. “If you want it. But you’ve got to want it, Xander.”

Xander shivered. “Angel, I…”

“Please.” The boy was wearing down…the pheromones in the air were far outweighing the adrenaline. And Angel could practically feel the surrender that came next.

“Just…just…not on my neck. Wills would get worried. Under my shirt.”

The neck of his shirt was brutally yanked to the side and fangs pierced his skin, pain shooting through his arm. Angel groaned as blood was pumped into his mouth. Xander matched that groan with one of his own.

The pain started to dissipate after a few seconds. In its place was desire so thick that he didn’t have enough sense to fight back his growing erection or to will away the sigh that escaped his lips. Angel’s own erection ground into his and he found himself grasping the cool hips in front of him to keep it right where it was.

Angel lapped at the sweet blood before him. It was like ambrosia to his tongue. He’d not had human blood for years it seemed and Xander’s tasted like delicious candy. He felt the boy’s fingers grip his hips and he thrust against his warmth with urgency.

“Xander,” he whispered, taking his fangs out of the skin. ‘What are…”

“Shut up, Deadboy.”

Their hips thrust together, back and forth, friction making heat and wetness between them. Their groans and gasps of delight filled the sewer and they pushed on harder towards completion.

Angel came first, the taste of blood still fresh in his mouth and his pent-up desire finally being released. He kept thrusting as Xander’s orgasm went through him, the boy’s cries of pleasure louder than he’d ever heard before. They stood there for moments, sagging against the wall and each other, panting.

“No one…,” Xander began.

“Let’s go get Buffy,” Angel interrupted. Xander’s face looked grateful. Angel smiled.

“Feeling better?” Xander asked after they had continued on their journey.

“Yeah. Except for the…” he gestured to the wet patch on his pants.

Xander laughed. “Yeah. Me, too.”

They rounded the corner and saw the nightmare that they only hoped they wouldn’t see. Buffy was lying face down in a puddle of water, the glowing ‘bubble’ that held the Master broken, and hell about to break loose. “Oh, God.” Angel rushed forward and pulled the slayer from the water, gasping at what he noticed. “She’s dead.”

“No. She’s not dead.”

“She’s not breathing.”

Xander thought a moment. “But if she drowned, uh, there’s a shot! CPR!” He stared down at the heartbroken vampire, his heart breaking just the same. Angel looked at him with teary eyes.

“You have to do it. I don’t have breath.”

He didn’t waste any time. He started in with CPR, Angel watching from beside them. It didn’t take long before Buffy started coughing and sputtering. “Buffy? Buffy!”

“Xander?” Buffy’s blue eyes looked at him incredulously. As if he couldn’t have possibly have saved her. His heart started to break all over aga
“
“Welcome back.”

She smiled up at him, a different kind of love in her eyes. But he was okay with that. “The Master?” she asked, sitting up. Angel caught her eye.

“He’s gone up.”

She nodded and stood up, dress wet and heavy around her body, crossbow in arms.

“No. You’re still weak,” Xander protested. Their moment was gone. He wouldn’t see that look of love in her eyes for a few years. And then, it would be a love that a sister would give her big brother. She didn’t even look at him when she spoke.

“No. No, I feel strong. I feel different.” She paused. “Let’s go!”

And she was off to fight evil once again. Angel and Xander shared a silent cheer…and followed her up.

~*~