What Goes Around Comes Around

NAME; What goes around comes around
AUTHOR; Onewillie
EMAIL; towillie@msn.com
CHARACTERS; W/S--A/X--T/G--B/????????--R/??????
RATING; NC-17 except for the dirty parts
DISCLAIMER; A few of the demons are mine. Dick, Bruce and Gotham City belong to DC comics. Joss and Co. own everybody else and may he be forced to sit through the complete trilogy of The Ring of the Niebelungen without so much as a bag of popcorn for how he has treated these kids.
DISTRIBUTION; Just ask and let me know where it's going.
SUMMARY; Very minor violence-very major Buffy Bashing, it all works out though.
SPOILER; Right after "The Family" *(-------)*are thoughts.
FEEDBACK; All I can get, It's good for the soul.

(Join the American coalition to ban rollsaver toilet paper)

Chapter A,--#1--the first--alpha--whatever


"OUCH, Bloody hell slayer, what was that for."

"Because I wanted to." Buffy explained after reaching out and bopping Spike sharply in the nose on the way by.

"Well I think you're just plain mean." Willow got up from the reading table in the Magic Box where she had been engaged in giggly girl talk with Tara and went to fuss over Spike who was now holding a handkerchief to his nose. Tara followed to stand on the other side of him and make soothing, cooing noises.

"Shit, he's just a damn vampire, what's all the fuss?" Buffy sneered, peeved that they would take his side over hers.

"Well I don't care, He's helped us out a lot lately and besides you know he can't fight back."

"That's half the fuckin' fun." muttered Buffy.

Giles looked up from where he was trying to explain to Anya why they couldn't round off prices to the next highest five dollars and she was trying to explain to him how it would simplify bookeeping. "Buffy, I've been meaning to speak to you about your increasing tendency to pointless violence, and need I remind you that profanity indicates a inadequate command of the English language."

"Yeah, yeah, lick my knickers." she said under her breath.

Tara glanced at Buffy with a look of sheepish anger on her face, "W-when he hit me t-to prove I wasn't a demon he knew it was g-going to hurt him too, if it wasn't for him I w-wouldn't be here."

Spike looked up from where he was examining the handkerchief for signs of blood, "I been meanin' to talk to you about that."

"It's OK Spike, you didn't really hurt me."

"That's not it, it's just that..."

"WILL YOU PEOPLE LISTEN TO YOURSELVES?" Buffy screamed, "You're talking like he's one of the good guys, he's a damn vampire, I'm the slayer, ME!" Looking for any support at all she glanced to where Xander sat, his tongue sticking out the right side of his mouth, indicating his total concentration on his game boy. "Xander, tell these idiots who the good guys are."

"Dang!" said Xander, being killed in the same spot for twe twentythird time that evening , "I dunno Buff, I'm not a big fan of fangface but it doesn't seem fair for you to go around bopping him all the time when you know he's bopbackless." Seeing the group staring at him he got a puzzled look on his face. "What?"

"Buffy, just calm down a little and I'll try to explain something." Spike turned back to the slayer, satisfied there was no permanent damage done to his nose.

"I don't want to calm down and where do you get off calling me Buffy," she yelled, working herself up into a frenzy, "my friends call me Buffy, it's either Slayer or Miss Summers."

"I think he was just trying to be friendly." Commented Willow, desprately trying to defuse the situation.

"I don't want to be friendly, and about Tara, what's going to be next. Are we going to have gay pride meetings."

"BUFFY, THAT'S ENOUGH!!," Shouted Giles, "That was totally uncalled for, Taras' and Willows' relationship is strictly their own business and I for one am happy to have both of them in the group." He jumped up to glare angrily into Buffys' face. Anya stood at the same time and moved to stand beside Xander, linking her arm in his for ow oow of solidarity and mumbling something about "fat assed blondes". Xander glanced at her golden curls and rather ample backside, and showing uncommon good sense kept his mouth shut.

"THAT BLOODY WELL DID IT!!" Spike yelled, and wiping the beginning of tears from Taras' face kissed her gently on the forehead and handed her over to Willow before stalking stiffly over to stare down at Buffy, a hif yef yellow begining to show in his eyes. "Willow and Tara are two of the nicest people in the world, you go and apologise or so help me I'll..."

"You'll do what, chip chump, breath on me?

!!SPLAT!!

Stunned silence descended over the group as they gazed at the slayer seated on the floor with her legs splayed out in front of her and leaning back on her arms, a trickle of blood begining to seep from her definintely off center nose. Their attention turned to Spike, his angry expression changing to a sheepish look and showing no signs of discomfort other than rubbing his bruised knuckles.

"Spike!! Y-you're bopbackable now!"

Everyones stunned attention (now including Spikes) shifted to Giles who looked back at them blankly. "What?" His blank expression slowly turned to one of absolute terror, "Merciful God, did I just say what I think I just said?"

The group rushed to stand around Spike, completely ignoring Buffy, who was only now begining to realize things were not as they should

"E boke ma dose."

"How -uh-when did it happen, are you evil again, Xander get a stake, get a cross, GET SOMETHING!" Giles spread his arms pushing everyone back.

The entire room shifted into a scene from a Keystone Kops movie as everyone desperately searched for something to hide behind--almost everyone----.

Buffy was still seated on the floor trying to sort things out, Tara had slipped under Giles arm and went to stand directly in front of Spike.

"Tara, get back here, he's evil!" Willow screamed in a panic, trying to think of a spell to protect her lover.

"That's right, I'm William The Fucking Bloody!!" Roared Spike, slipping into full game face and raising his clawed hands to the skies ie.Frankenstiens' monster.

"You're silly."

"What?"

"I said you're silly." repeated Tara looking calmly up into the yellow eyes.

"Didn't I scare you even a little bit?" Spike dropped back into human form looking a little put out.

"Nope."

"Shit!"

"E boke ma dose!"

The rest of the Scoobies cautiously crept from behind various pieces of funiture and edged forward to group around Spike and Tara.

"E BOKE MA DOSE!!" Screamed Buffy kicking her heels on the floor.

"Yes Buffy, we can see that and that's not all we can see, if you're going to sit like that please pull your skirt down, we're really not intrested in the fact that you're not wearing underwear." Giles turned back to Spike.

"I am." Said Xander and Spike together, dropping to their knees for a better look.

Xanders scream of pain echoed tgh tgh the room as Anya grabbed him by the ear and pulled him up, twisting with all the strength of a former vengance demon. Spike simply made a small "erk" as Willow took the back of his collar and jerked him to his feet. Tara looked from Willow to Spike with a comtemplative expression.

"Well, at least now we know she's not a real blonde."

"Good one Tara." said Anya.

"Way to go."- Willow.

"I already knew that." - Giles+Spike+Xander.

"Uh- her profile, yes, it's in her slayer profile, quite." Giles muttered, fiddling with his glasses.

"Locker room talk, the guys in the locker room, common knowledge." Xander stammered, rubbing his inflamed ear and keeping a wary eye on Anya.

Spike, unable to come up with anything, looked sheepishly at his feet, avoiding Willows amused glare.

Deciding something really should be done for her Giles turned back to Buffy. "You should get to the hospital and have them set that before it heals like it is, and would you please stuff a piece of toilet paper or something up it, it's dripping on the floor."

"Say nose Giles, specify nose."

Everyone turned back to Anya, "Hey! you're really good.", "You rock girl.", "Hot one Anya.","I wish I'd said that."

Mumbling something like,"they'll be sorry when i'm rich and famous" Buffy turned to the door.

"Be careful going through the cemetery, the smell of fresh blood and all that rot." Spike yelled after her.

..............................

"Uh, Spike, when did this happen, are you evil again," Giles cautiously approached Spike, ready to take off at the slightest threat.

"I dont think he's evil, I think he's kinda cute." Willow piped up.

"You always did." Tara jabbed Willow with her elbow.

"It 'appened when the soldier boys left. Guess the chip was just a reciever and when they left they took the transmitter, plus it started smoothin' out the bad impulses in my brain. By that time I'd found it was more fun hangin' wi' all you whankers an' besides I fell in love. Kinda ruined my evil for me."

"Uh, then when you hit me yesterday it didn't hurt you." Tara looked a little worried.

"Na, but I been evil long enough to know it when I see it and you ain't, 'cides I couldn't let that bunch of rednecks take you, you got family here."

Willow looked at Spike. "When you said you fell in love, is it anybody we know."

"It's you doofus," Tara elbowed her again. "I've known it for a long time. Now I know you're in love with him too, even if you don't.

"B-but WE'RE in love, we're gay, ever since Oz left. We've done uh- things together, you know-uh things."

"It was a rebound thing from Oz, when you rebounded you really did it good, I don't know why I didn't know it before, don't worry about me, I'm good with it."

"EMPATH DEMON!" Yelled Giles.

After everyone dropped from the ceiling where they had been clinging they looked at Giles like he had lost his mind. "She's a empath demon, I don't know why I didnsee see it before unless she didn't reach full power until her birthday." Looking at everyones puzzled expressions he explained. "Empath demons relate to the feelings of the people around them, they are always female and very nurturing."

"Y-you mean I'm not really gay? But we did things, you know, girl-girl things." Willow looked a little worried.

"Well, you can't say it wasn't fun." Tara smiled at her.

"Oh yeah, it was fun, especially that one thing, y'know that thing."low low looked a little wistful, "Maybe we can get together once in a while, y'know just for old times sake or something like that." Willow was edging closer to Spike all the time.

"Oh Xander, Isn't it sweet, Spike and Willow are going to screw. Let's go in the back room and check the co,er, stock." Anya pressed herself against him and rubbed her leg against his crotch. Taking his hand with both of hers she slid it under her skirt.

*(Guess Buff's not the only one not wearing panties.)* Xander thought. Looking at the others he shrugged. "Hey, she's getting better, at least this time she's waiting until we get out of sight."

Tara took Spike and Willow by the shoulders and pushed them toward the door. "Why don't you two go and get better aquainted, I'll be OK, ths whs what I do." Turning back to Giles she gave a little "huh, It looks like we're the only two left, let's go get a cup of coffee and talk for awhile."

-------Cut to the cemetery, a dejected looking Buffy trudging toward the hospital-----

"Why does everybody hate me just because I'm prettier, smarter, stronger, have a wonderful personality and a beautiful ass. They're just jealous, that's it they're jealous." Muttering to herself she failed to see what was directly ahead. With a shrill "WHOOPS!" her feet went out from under her.

Although Sunnydales finest were diligent in enforcing the leash and sanitairy laws of the canine population they were somewhat lax when it came to demons.

"SHIT!" said Buffy, describing both her mood and the substance she was sitting in.

Rolling to her hands and knees she was preparing to rise when one of her hands slipped, causing her to bump into a tombstone, the stone, being old and weak at the base toppled forward, effectively pinning her forearms to the ground. (saw that one comming, didn't ya)

*(Well, at least things can't get any worse.)* She thought when a sound of slogging, plopping footsteps came from the side, *(I just had to open my big mouth.)* Looking up at the eight foot tall green form in front of her she felt a surge of relief, *(thank God it's just a mucus monster, they're nonviolent.)*

"---and now I'm stuck here." Buffy finished pouring out her sad onesided tale of woe to the sympathetic (and slightly numb) ear? of the mucus monster. Seeing him pull out his cell phone she perked up. Noting her brightening expression the mucus monster decided he should clue her in.

"I'm not calling 911, I'm calling a bunch of the boys, you probably don't remember spraying me with decongestant last week. Honey, this just ain't your day." Moving around behind her he flipped her dress up over her back. He paused, his voice taking on a rather disgusted tone, "God, don't you ever wipe?" Scooping off a large glob of brownish goo with a forefinger (foretentical?) he flicked it into the bushes.

"AAAARRRGHHH!!"
MTC* (*more to come)

Chapt. #2----duce----zwei--or something

As the door closed behind them Spike turned to Willow, "Ya'd think the bint was tryin' to get rid of us." Putting his hands on her hips he pulled her against him.

Smiling up into his face she interlaced her fingers behind his ass, rotating her crotch against his, "Well I guess we could be rather irritating, either that or she has other plans, and here we are, shut out in the dark, cold and alone, with no place to go."

"Orphans of the storm." Spike said.

"Starving and destitute."

"My place or yours?"

"Mine, I don't think Tara's going to be home tonight and yours is kind of cold and musty."

"I hope you're talking about the place I live."

Spike moved his hands up her body, pausing for a moment to cup her breasts and rub his thumbs over the nipples before taking her face between his palms and lowering his lips to hers, letting their tongues mesh before lifting to suck softly on her upper lip and moving up to nibble gently on the tip of her nose.

Willow pulled back from him, her eyes closed, "If you're going to keep doing that we're not going to make it out of this doorway." she whispered, "One Anya is enough."

Putting their arms around each other Willow rested her head against his shoulder and despite her professions of urgency walked slowly homeward.

Spike took the keys from her hand and opened the door, picking her up he slung her over his shoulder and started to carry her over the threshold. Bumping into the invisible barrier he recoiled back. Willow squirmed from his arms and dashed into the room, turning to face him she put her thumbs in her ears and wiggled her fingers, sticking out her tongue.

"Dammit Willow, invite me in."

"Ooooo, is widdo Spikey stuck out in the cold." she ran her hands over her body, pursing her lips and wriggling in a obscene parody of seductiveness that would have gotten her thrown off Baywatch for overacting.

"Willow, don't do that."

She slipped her blouse over her head and moved to stand about one inch behind the door. Pushing her chest forward she let her nipples pass the plane of the door. Spike immediately took one in his mouth and began sucking. Stepping back pulling Spikes face into the barrier she smiled at him. "Say please."

"Please!"

"You didn't sound sincere." She pouted, stepping back slightly and unbuttoned her jeans, unzipping them and slid them down uncovering her crotch. Spreading her legs to let them hang on her thighs she put her hands behind her head, throwing her hair forward and peering at him through the curls. "Say pretty please."

"Pretty please with sugar on it!" Spike was in obivious pain.

Willow stepped out of her jeans and sandals and put her hand down the front of her transluscent panties, clearly fingering herself. "Thats a little better, now let me see your widdo peepee thingy."

With a tortured moan Spike unbuttoned and unzipped his fly to take out a thick raging hardon, at least eight inches long and dripping with precum.

"Holy shit, it sure ain't widdo!" Willow muttered. Removing her panties she returned to the door, "Now get down on your knees."

He dropped to his knees, her pussy about two inches away right at his eye level. Whining like a lost puppy, he pressed his nose and tongue against the barrier. Turning she put her hands on her ass. Spreading the cheeks to give him a good view of her asshole she slithered toward the bedroom, pausing in the doorway she coyly looked over her shoulder and crooked a finger. "What are you doing out there Spike? Why don't you come in and close the door?"

Spike charged into the room, slamming the door hard enough to bend the hinges and lunged after a screaming Willow who barely made it to the bed in time to pull the blanket up around her neck and cower giggling against the wall.

Spike jerked his tee off, ripping it to shreads in the process. Without taking his eyes off Willow he hopped on one foot trying to get his pants off. "I'm goin' to get my licks in now." He threatened.

"I sure hope so." Wheezed Willow, whose giggles had now turned to hiccups. She pointed at his feet. "Take your shoes off first." she managed to get out. Spike grabbed the heel of his shoe through his pants leg, pulling everything off at the same time and doing the same for the other foot. Stripping off his boxers he dove for the bed, squirming under the blanket. Willows hiccups tapered off as she felt his hands on her knees forcing her legs apart.

Spike slid up between her legs and turned his head to lick the sensitive spot behind her knee and blow softly on the moist area, then switching to do the same for the other leg, smiling as he heard her moan. Getting his tongue good and moist he ran it up the inside of her thigh around and into her pussy, opening it slightly with his thumbs, and down the other leg, then blew softly along the line. Back up again and he licked and blew around her anus. By this time Willows moans had become a continuous sound accompanied by spasmodic shivers. He threw off the blanket to lick a trail up her stomach, pausing at her navel.

Pulling her down to lie on the bed he rolled her onto her stomach and spread her cheeks with his thumbs licking her anus again, and pressing and releasing gently with the tip of a finger. When he felt it relax he slowly inserted the finger and ran it in and out while licking another trail up the middle of her back and on to slip his tongue into her ear.

Blowing back down the damp line he withdrew his finger from her ass and spread her cheeks again. Kissing gently around her asshole he took a deep breath.

And blew the grandaddy of all bronx cheers directly into the crack of her ass.

"EEEEYIKKE!!" Willow flew from the bed to grab a pillow and begin beating a completely helpless Spike, who had curled into a fetal position with his arms covering his face trying to protect himself from the blows. "Damn vampires, can't trust a cocksuckin' one, no fuckin' sense of romance, ought to stake 'em all in their fuckin' cribs." Willow punctuated each epithet with blows from the pillow.

Spike finally got himself together enough to grab the pillow and jerk Willow down against him, collecting her in his arms. "I'm sorry luv, I just couldn't resist." He smoothed the hair back from her face.

Willow buried her face in his chest, her giggles winding down, "Boy am I going to get you for that one." She ran her hand down between them to pump softly on his aching cock and smear the precum around the head with her thumb. She looked up at his face, "Truce?"

"Truce." he replied, groaning quietly and crossing his fingers behind her back.

Rolling her onto her back with one hand behind her head he bent down to take a nipple in his mouth, sucking softly and rubbing the nub with his tongue. With his other hand he began rubbing down her belly gradually getting closer to her center. Entering her with his two middle fingers he slowly ran them in and out while rubbing her mound with the heel of his hand.

Lifting his mouth from her nipple he found her lips, sucking her tongue into him. His hand between her legs started a slow circular motion as he began dryhumping her thigh.

Willow raised her hands to pull his face from hers,"Spike, get in me now!"

Taking his cock in his hand Spike positioned himself between her legs and rubbed the head along the slit. Willow propped herself on her elbows and raised her head in fascination to watch, *(God, he's almost twice as big as Oz.)*

Spike placed himself at her entrance and pressed the head in, wiggling it slightly. "Say please."

"Oh bull shit." Willow wrapped her legs around him and pulled him halfway into her, gasping at his thickness.

"Hey! you cheated." Spike chuckled, leaning forward he took her lips with his and began a slow circular motion with his hips, pushing in a little further each time until he was completely sheathed. Holding her softly a few minutes he felt her begin to relax and slowly withdrew about halfway to ease back in, continuing until she began to rise to meet him.

Willow wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him against her as he began a full pumping, stopping a few seconds at the bottom and riding with her as she sank back against the mattress. Feeling her begin to contract and his pressure begin to build he held her against him waiting for the spasms to pass before begining again. Finally unable to hold back again Willow pressed her lips against his ear, "Finish." she whispered.

Spike thrust into her one final time, exploding with the unique stinging sentation of his first orgasm, feeling the almost machine gun like spasms of her climax. Raising on his elbows Spiked looked at her in amazement, "You're crying," he whispered. Willow wiped his tears away with her thumbs,"So are you." Rolling onto their sides they held each other, waiting for the shaking to subside.

.............cut to the cemetery..................

Buffy looked up at the creature standing in front of her with the beginning of greenish yellow ejeculate already oozing from his four inch long, four inch diameter, cone shaped member as he shuffled back to get in line behind two snot monsters, a fungus demon, a trio of gargoyles doing three stooges routines, a pair of clapped up trolls, one twindicked golem (think) and an ogre with warts. Thinking she saw a hint of sympathy in his eyes her heart softened. He spoke with compasion in his voice. "Y'know girly, you'd be kinda cute if your nose wasn't so crooked."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

.........................MTC..................................


Part 3....IIV...the third...etc

The dirty looks the waiter was giving them finally sinking in, Tara and Giles looked around to find themselves the only ones left, "I guess we better be going before we get thrown out." Giles rose to pull back Taras' chair and held her coat for her. Leaving a disgustingly large tip by way of apology he steered her toward the door. Tara stopped right before the door and putting her hands on his waist stood on tiptoes and brushed her lips quickly against his. Still on tiptoes she looked at his eyes. "This is right." she said with firm convicition. Without hesitation Giles took her hand in his and continued out, stopping a few steps outside he turned her toward him to raise the collar of her coat up around her neck letting his fingers trace the line of her jawbone.

Glancing back inside they saw the waiter picking up his tip, noticing them looking he smiled and waved. Waving back they joined hands, putting both in Taras' coat pocket. "You want to get a cab?" Giles asked.

"It's too nice a night, let's walk."

Placing his hand in the small of her back, Giles ushered her in the door, hanging her coat on the rack just inside. Tara undid his tie, removing it and his jacket, tossing both on the couch, "I'm gonna make you unbend a little, you really want to." Reaching down she took the hem of her skirt and lifted it over her head, standing before him in her slip. Moving behind him she reached around and unbuttoned his shirt, removing it with his undershirt and sliding her nylon covered breasts against his back. Undoing his belt and fly she removed his pants and boxers along with his shoes.

Stripping completely she pressed herself against his back rubbing the nylon slip over the front of his body, then crushing her pubic hair against his buttocks and slipping a finger up his ass she took his cock and began to pump.

"Tara, I don't think we...." he started

"Shush, I know what I'm doing, trust me, this is what you need." Feeling him start to spasm she paused, then began to jack him off again to let him blast his semen across the carpet. Moving to his front she rubbed his cock on her stomach, then taking it led him to the couch. Bending over she spread her legs and pressed the tip against her opening. Putting her hands on the back of the couch she said with a slight snicker, "You're going to have to do the rest, I'm not going to do everything"



.............cut to the cemetery...................

Buffy had resigned her self to waiting for the sun to rise, doing crossword puzzles in her head, when a sound from behind her chilled her to the bone. *(Oh God no!)* she thought as the disgusting voice came clearly through the night air.

"Hey fellas, whatcha dooin', kin I play too, huh, kin I, huh?"

*(God please no, not Riley, Lord I swear I'll never be mean to anything that doesn't deserve it again, I promise, please, just not Riley!)*

One of Sunnydales minor earthquakes chose that moment to strike, doing no damage, but shifting the tombstone just enough for Buffy to slip her hands free. Seeing her free herself the demons scurried for cover. She rose to face her nemisis, smoothing her skirt down.

"Not fair!" Screeched Riley, squeezing his eyes shut, hopping up and down and pumping his fists, "So not fair! I was up next, Buffy, you have to let me take my turn."

!!CLONK!!

Buffy looked from the softball sized rock in her hand to the growing lump on the unconscious Rileys' head.(Not that he ever was really conscious, he was just unconsciouser) Looking at the heavens she said, "Before you do anything, I specified anything that doesn't deserve it. OK?"

From afar came a low sound of thunder that sounded vaguely like, "Right"

Now able to get some leverage she raised the stone just enought to place Rileys' arms in the grooves hers had just occupied. Jumping on the tombstone she lifted her voice. "OK. All you out there, I know you can hear me, this is one of those soldier boys that used to capture you and do all those experiments. Remember him?" From the surrounding bushes came sounds of recognition. Rummaging thuough her purse she found the jar of petroleum jelly she carried for emergencies. Holding it above her head she turned in a circle then bent to place it on the tombstone. Hopping down she walked into the darkness.

Riley regained conciousness just as the ogre was working the petroleum jelly none too softly into his asshole. Looking back he whimpered. "Fellas, I'm sorry I did all that, honest, It wasn't me, it was the other guys. I was just a clerk. We're buddies, right.... We were all screwing Buffy together, remember.... I've never done anything like this before.... Please be gentle...............OOOOWWW!!!"

Buffy smiled at the scream of pain from behind her, looking down at herself, *(It's a little late to get to the hospital now, besides I'm really dirty, I guess I'll just go home and clean up.)*

..............MTC...................


Chapt #IV..four...ah the hell with it

Willow lay on her back staring at the ceiling, one arm behind her head and the other on Spike who was on his stomach facing the other direction, gently running the tips of her fingernails over his back. "Buffy never used to be like this, what do you think's wrong?"

"I dunno, I really kinda like the bint. Mashe she just needs a good shag."

"I guess that's probably it. It sure helped me....When do you think you first loved me?"

"I dunno, I guess when I tried to turn you in your dorm room was when it started. Here I was, the big bad, trying to make you into a monster and you cared when I failed. Nobody had ever really cared about me before, it was somethin' new. Plus I think the chip had already started smoothin' out my brain waves. After that I started noticing things you did and you just began to grow on me. How 'bout you?" Spike looked up from where he was moistening his thumb and forefinger in her pussy and taking whisps of her pubic hair, spinning them up into small cone shapes.

"That Christmas, I saw you in the grocery and wondered why you had to buy food, you'd bought about fifty dollars worth and went up and dumped it all in the barrel for the needy. You looked so silly trying to keep from being noticed that everybody was watching you, I swear if you'd been wearing a cape you would have held it up across your face."

"I was that bad huh?"

"Worse. Then I began to watch you. Did you know you hold doors open for others, not just little old ladies, all others. And when you see a cigerette pack or trash on the ground you pick it up and drop it in a litter can."

"I do?"

"Uh huh, you don't even think about it, you just do it." Willow raised her head to look down at him, "What are you doing down there?"

Spike looked proudly at the small, teepee shaped formations he had created. "Uh, playin' wi' your pussy hair?" It was a half question.

"Idiot!" Giving him a dope slap she spread her legs a little to give him better access and laying back down returned to scratching his back.

Spike smoothed out the peaks and began licking in a part. Satisfied it was centered he started a line of kisses down to suck her clit between his lips, flicking it with his tongue. Licking his way down to her center he felt her hands on his thigh, pulling it toward her. Lifting his leg he straddled her face as her mouth surrounded his hardening cock.

...............The next afternoon..............

The members of the Scooby Gang, minus Buffy, were seated around the table in the Magic Box, wondering at the myriad ways things could change within the space of one day. Willow was seated on Spikes' lap, completely comfortable with the fact that his hand was up her skirt. "Y'know yesterday when I said that maybe we could get together for old times sake."

Tara looked up from where she was standing pressed behind Giles back with her hands down his shirt rubbing his chest, "Uh-huh"

"Well I was thinking that maybe we should all get together once in a while, I think it would be kinda fun."

Giles leaned back, pressing his head into Taras' cleavage, "It is well documented that employes who share common recreational acitivies perform better at their jobs."

" 'At's my girl." Whispered Spike into Willows' ear, giving a little extra wiggle with his fingers.

Anya removed her tongue from Zanders' ear. "I would imagine that all the females would probably become sandwich meat before long."

"Sandwich meat?" Willow looked slightly puzzled, Spike whispered in her ear. "Oh--OH!" she turned a delicate shade of red. "Well, I guess.. I mean if it was...Well uh sure.. I knew that."

"It looks like I finally did what I started out to do that night in your dorm room." Spike said proudly.

"What's that" Willow looked puzzled again.

"I created a monster."

"Idiot"

At that moment the door opened and in walked Buffy. A different Buffy. A Buffy with a spring in her step and a sparkle in her eyes. She walked confidently up to stand directly in front of Spike. "Hit me!" she commanded.

"Huh!" Spike was completely taken aback. The rest of the Scoobies sat stunned.

"I said hit me, take your fingers out of Willows' cunt long enough to hit me. You hit me last night and made my nose like this, now you have to hit it on the other side to straighten it out."

"Buffy I can't, I couldn't do it, I-I just can't." he looked at her with pain in his eyes.

Buffy glared at him, her lips compressed, she sputtered and then dissolved into gales of laughter. "I knew you wouldn't be able to, I was just fuckin' with you. Sorry Willow."

"T-that's OK Buffy." Willow was just starting to join the living, "H-he doesn't have them both in my cunt, he has one in my ass, OOOOHH, did I just say that." she covered her face with her hands.

Anya got up and walked over to take Buffys' face between her palms and study the nose. "I don't think it's healed yet, let's go in the bathroom and I'll push it back in place and put a piece of tape on it."

"OK, thanks." said Buffy gaily, letting Anya lead her toward the bathroom she turned back to Willow, "Made'ya say it, nayner, nayner."

Everyone looked a each other. "Who was that and what has she done with Buffy." Giles was stunned.

Xander was finally able to open his mouth, "I dunno, maybe she got laid or something."

They all looked at Xander. "Naaaa"

..............................Two weeks later......................

The four friends were strolling arm in arm down the sidewalk, discussing the apparent slacking of demon activity. Buffy looked at Anya, "I'm not bitching, we need the break but it just doesn't seem natural."

"I'm with you on that, I think we should keep our eyes open."

Willow looked down from the end of the line, "Maybe they found something else to do, maybe they're all out screwing." she giggled.

"Willow, I swear lately you've got a one track mind." Buffy stopped and put a hand to her mouth."Oh God!" she gasped.

"What's the matter?" Tara glanced at Buffy with concern.

"Oh nothing, just something I'd forgotten about. I think Willow has something there." Buffy continued walking, (*Poor Riley, I hope he can survive on pure protein.)* Trying to stifle her giggles she dropped her purse and bent over to pick it up.

As fate would have it the young college student behind them chose that moment to lose control of his skate board. "Behind you!! Behind--." Thump!

Willow, Tara and Anya gazed down at the youth seated on the sidewalk with Buffy on his lap.

"Original but not very graceful." Tara commented.

"If you're going to try to pick 'em up you have to knock 'em down first, I always say " Willow observed.

"I think I saw that position in the Kama Sutra, as a matter of fact I invented it but I wasn't wearing clothes." Anya walked a slow circle around them with a critical eye.

Buffy turned her head to look into the clearest blue eyes she had ever seen.."Uh..Hi" (*Clever Buffy, really clever*)

"Uh..Hi yourself." (*Boy Dick, you really outdid yourself on that one, now think*) "Uh-I'm sorry about this." (*That was brilliant*)

"I'm not." (*great Buffy, keep this up and he might think your sentient*)

"I'm Dick,..I mean Richard, Richard Grayson but people call me Dick." (*Somehow this isn't comming out right*)

(*I'll bet they do!! Is that a salami I'm sitting on?*) I'm Puffy, uh Buffy, Buffy Summers, pleased to meet you." (*great, you got more than three words out*) "You're new in town." (*getting better*)

"Yeah, I just transfered over from Gotham City JC." (*I hope she doesn't know I'm getting a boner, oh God, look at her eyes, she knows*)

"You're getting a boner aren't you?" (*Oh Lord, did I just say that, please tell me I didn't say that.*)

(*Did she just say that, she couldn't have, I heard wrong*) "Uh- I was looking for a cock sore, I mean book store, book store. (*This is getting worse and worse.*)

"This is getting better and better," Willow said with a smile. "I'll lay ya odds he's getting a boner."

"The things you see when you don't have a camcorder, isn't there a cock sore just around the corner?" Tara gave Willows' hand a squeeze.

"I Think they're kinda cute, are they gonna screw right there on the sidewalk." Anya looked at them speculatively.

"Will you guys shut up, you're not helping any." Buffy screamed in frustration, scrambling to her feet and leaned forward to help Dick to his feet letting the neckline of her blouse sag. (*Lucky I didn't wear a bra today, lean over just a liiiittle further,*)

Dick took her hands, his eyes glued to her neckline. (*Whooah, major cleaveage, she has to be doing this on purpose*)

Rising to his feet, he held his skateboard in front of him trying to hide his erection, "Look, I'm really sorry about that, I usually have a little more coordination."

"That's OK, I'm not hurt." She glanced at the three looking expectantly at her. "Let me introduce you to these three idiots. This is Willow, Tara, and the one making googoo eyes is Anya. She's going steady but has a permanent case of horneyness."

Willow spread the folds of her skirt, dropping her eyes demurely, and dipped in curtsy that would have done credit to Marie Antonette. "Charmed, I'm sure."

"Ah just cahn't tell you how pleased Ah ahm to make your aquaintance." Tara took his hand and pumped it vigrously up and down, for him him to drop the skateboard.

Anya dropped to one knee staring directly at the bulge in his pants. "Neither boxers nor briefs is my guess."

"Will you three bictas stop it." Buffy was obviously having a hard time keeping a straight face.

"Bictas?" Dick looked at Buffy.

"Private word." said Willow. Stepping up she hooked a finger in Buffys' neckline and pulled it foreward, looking down her blouse.

"What in hell are you doing?" Buffy asked.

"Looking for Dicks' eyeballs, I think he dropped them down there, oooo, nice nipples."

Grabbing Dicks' hand Buffy towed him down the street. "Lets get away from these idiotsore ore we lose our sanity. I'll show you where the cocksore,, I mean bookstore is."

Letting them get about half block away Anya called after them. "Hey Dick." Seeing him turn around. "Love your boner." she shouted.

"Well it looks like Buffy isn't going to be taking pot luck at our get-togethers anymore, I'll bet he'll fit right in." Anya looked at the others

"Hope so, he could be the other slice of bread on my sandwich any day." Willow looked after them.

"Amen to that."

.................................................

Three years later an earthquake registering 3.5 completely closed the hellmouth. Those demons trapped above ground were soon assimilated into the general population, throwing the Scoobie Gout out of work.

...............................

Spike did one too many thoughtless acts of random kindness, bringing himself to the attention of the PTB, one of who, pointed his finger and uttered the magic phrase "Bigdaddy Bodiddly Bimbo", (as opposed to bippidy boppidy boo, which could get me sued), thus restoring not only Spikes soul but also his humanity, and removing Willows' excuse to tell all her friends that he was like a corpse in bed.

Xander and Anya got legally married. Xander, realizing the responsibities of married life, began to apply himself, working his way up from shift foreman to CEO of a multinational construction firm with a seven digit annual salary, therefore fulfilling Anyas' dreams.

Giles and Tara moved to a small town in Nebraska where Giles realized his lifelong dream of becoming a grocer and Tara opened a small arts and crafts shop across the street, making just enough of a profit to justify keeping it open. Joining a nondenominational church and raising 2.67 children with 1.5 cars in the garage they became members of the PTA and the neighborhood stripbridge club. Tara spent her free time as den mother for a very happy troop of cub scouts.

Buffy and Dick returned to Gotham City, moving in with Dicks' guardian Bruce, where she invented several variations of the slayer sandwich and, wearing very anatomically correct formfitting costumes, they continued to fight evil in all its manifestations, with occasional side skiing trips to Switzerland.

Dawn, who prior to this time did not exist, reached her eighteenth birthday. Abandoned by her older sister and unable to cutesy her way out of all her shoplifting fines, got a fake ID and a bad boob job and went to work as a dancer in a titty bar where she was appropriated by a six foot six, three hundred and twenty pound ex Raider linebacker with a four inch dick named Squeeky. (I don't know what the linebackers' name was.)

The other guy, I forget his name, gave up his dreams of glory in the military and went back to Idaho or Ohio or maybe Iowa or something like that, and traded his favorite cow, Bessie, for three prepetually horny bulls named Ferdinand, Magellean and Larry, requiring him to buy petroleum jelly by the barrel, and settled down to a rustic life as caretaker of his uncles' catfish farm.

.....................................

Transcript from the Sunnydale Sentinal Wed. Oct. 28, 2075

William "Spike" and Willow(nee Rosenberg) Borlin passed away in their sleep at home within an hour of each other Sunday night after short illnesses. Respected members of the community, William (221) and Willow (93) are survived by their five children, twelve grand children and seven great grandchildren, the majority of whom were by their side at the time of their death. They were well known not only for their charitable works but also for their irrepressible sense of humor and love of praticial jokes. (The time Willow put exploding candles on the cake for Spikes 215th birthday, explaining she thought it would sound like a big bronx cheer, is remembered with mixed emotions at the local fire station.) A pot luck wake will be held at The Bronze Sat. 31 Oct. beginning at 6:00 PM. All their friends, human and otherwise are urged to attend. Bring a covered dish and a irreverent memory to share.

The wheel of life goes round and round
What goes up must come down
All we do has been done before
Our souls go out the entrance door
end

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