Moving On

“For god’s sakes Andrew, you’ve been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?”
“Entertaining and educating.”
“Why can’t you just masturbate like the rest of us?”

Buffy laughed heartily, putting down her wine glass on the coffee table to avoid spilling anything on her suede couch. Xander snorted his laughter, raising a beer bottle to the screen. It was their day off. They had grabbed a movie and a quiet dinner together and headed back to the place Buffy kept in the city for a nightcap.

“To Anya,” he said, a sad smile on his face.
“To Anya,” Buffy concurred, wrapping her fingers around the stem of the glass, stroking it softly, running a hand through her hair.

They sat there, just watching the screen flicker, bathed in the soft blue light. Somehow this had seemed like a good idea earlier. It didn’t anymore, but neither of them wanted to admit it.
“I thought I told you to piss off with this bloody camera,” they heard a gruff voice say. Xander snuck a look at Buffy. She stared at the screen, her beautiful face betraying no visible emotions, but he noticed the wine glass trembling ever so slightly.
“Uh Spike? The light was kind of behind you.”
“Oh….right. Uh….What is this better, then? I thought I told you to piss off….”

Buffy sat back, taking a long sip of her wine, her eyes far away.
“Hey,” Xander said, bringing her back. “Where are you?”
“Right here,” she said, giving him a weak smile.
“Right….here.”

And Spike isn’t, her eyes seemed to say as she took a sip.

“Look….” Xander said finally, rubbing his hair. “I get it.”
“Do you?” she asked, almost casually, but Xander could tell there was a lot more behind that statement.
“No,” he admitted. “Not you and Spike. I’ll never get that. Ever.”
“I know,” Buffy said, resting her head on her hand.
“But I get the grief. You’re not the only one who lost someone that day.”
“Sure as hell feels like it.”

Anger flared inside Xander. Buffy looked at him, seeing the expression on his face and put her hand to her mouth.
“Oh my god Xander. I can’t believe I….I’m so…..”
“It’s allright,” he said, even as she came closer, putting her arm on his shoulder.
“Did you…..love him?” Xander asked finally, still not looking at her.
“I….don’t….know…” she said. “I don’t know anything anymore. I just….”
“Just what?” he said.
“I just…..need…..not to feel……this……anymore.”
“This?” he asked, frowning.
“Broken…..” she said, her voice shattering. “I feel…..broken.”
“Why?” Xander asked.
“Because he’s gone. Because I’m still here. And because…..”
“Because,” Xander prompted.
And then Buffy kissed him. Passionately. Putting all her fears and hopes and grief into it. Xander almost blanched but then began kissing her back. Their mouths swallowed each other again and again and again as Buffy caught the nape of his neck. “Uh……uh….” Buffy moaned when he pushed her down on the sofa and began kissing her neck.

Suddenly a voice on the screen made them break apart. It was Spike and Anya. Sitting at a table in the magic box. Oh she was going to kill Andrew for keeping this.
“Thank you,” Anya said softly.
“Take it quick, before my chivalry runs out,” Spike quipped, pointing at the glass.
“No. Thank you,” she said softly. “This is the first time since……it’s good to be with someone….who understands…”
“Intimately,” he said sadly.

Buffy and Xander stared at the screen, then each other. They had seen the sex, but not what led upto it. It was as if Spike and Anya were talking about them, not themselves. It was downright eerie. When they looked back at the screen their former lovers had rested their heads against each other.
“Wait…wait…what are we doing?” Anya said.
“Moving on.” Spike said firmly, before kissing Anya passionately.

They watched, a familiar pain spreading through each of them until Buffy snatched up the remote with lightning quick reflexes and turned the TV off.
Xander felt the heavy pregnant pause in the room.
“Buff….” he whispered. “It’s okay. We don’t have to.”
“But I want,” Buffy said finally, “I want….”
“To be with someone who understands,” Xander said, forcing himself to smile.
And I just want you.

“Intimately,” she said softly, coming forward to touch his cheek.
And somehow they were kissing again and nothing else mattered.
“Xander” Buffy said, pushing him away, gently mid-kiss. “You know what this is don’t you?”
“Yeah,” he whispered hoarsely, licking his lips. “Moving On.”
Because that’s what you want to hear.
And Buffy pulled him to her, kissing him again.


They burst into the bedroom, locked in a desperate kiss, furiously tugging at each other’s clothes. Xander helped her slip out of her jeans and dispose of her top, his hands pausing to rub and squeeze her ass and breasts, his mouth planting hot kisses on her neck. Buffy gasped, trying to pull off his shirt unsuccessfully. So she resorted to violence, tearing and clawing at it until it had fallen away.

She pulled him down onto the bed with her, reaching behind her to unhook and toss aside her bra and shimmying out of her panties. All the while he fumbled with his jeans, staring at her nakedness unabashedly.

Boobs. Buffy’s boobs. Oh fuck.

She would have blushed if she hadn’t been so eager. A few moments later he pulled down his jeans and boxers, drawing her attention to his already stiff cock. This time, she did blush.

Oh. That’s….nice.

Xander looked at her, waiting for her ascent. When he received a half nod he quickly covered her body with his own before either of them had a chance to change her mind. He took a perky nipple into his mouth, sucking on it. She spread her legs for him quickly, letting him sheath against her. She bit her lip to keep from moaning when he rubbed himself twice, making her even wetter than she already considerably was. Xander didn’t wait any further. He couldn’t wait. So he pushed himself inside her.

“Oh…oh….oh..” Buffy whimpered, her body shaking underneath him as he slid into her, her eyes wide as a kitten. It was the sweetest, sexiest sight Xander had ever seen. “Fuck,” he swore, through gritted teeth. He was barely inside her. Her warmth had him in a vice-like grip and was already driving him crazy.

Tight. So fucking tight.

Buffy caught his hip and dug her nails in, roughly pulling him closer to her. Xander thrusting experimentally, letting her wetness devour him. A few thrusts later, he brought his mouth down over her, tangling their tongues. All the while he kept his eyes on her. Look at me, his eyes said. I’m here. Me. Not some random stranger. Me. Buffy stared up at him with wide eyes. Somehow she understood the unspoken pact. She wouldn’t shut her eyes to this. They were in this together. She’d look at him. Her body hummed appreciatively, grateful for his patience, but a part of her ached for him to cut loose. Soft could wait. She’d been without too long. She needed raw and needy. “Harder,” she said, catching his lip between her teeth, tugging on it, her eyes flashing a challenge.

If you can.

Xander grunted his response, then obliged. A bead of sweat appeared on his brow as he sped up, thrusting faster and faster. When his cock hit a sweet spot that hadn’t been touched in more than a year, she shrieked in orgasm, which drew a wicked grin to his face. The seconds became minutes as he drove into her again and again, the silence of the room punctuated with growls punctuated by the squeak of the mattress

“Cum…” Xander growled, rather inarticulately a few moments later, watching her breasts bounce, letting her know he was ready to join her. “Ohhhhhh……@$%^%”he heard her moan, her head thrashing from side to side, “uhhhhhh…….inside me….”

It had occurred to Xander that they weren’t using a condom, so he had prepared to pull out. But thankfully Buffy had given him the go ahead. And truth be told, he wouldn’t really have felt satisfied unless he spilt himself inside her.

Thank you planned parenthood.

He felt a fresh surge of energy at that thought, thrusting again and again and again, building Buffy up until she was practically weeping with ecstacy. “Gah,” he gasped when he felt a hot stream of fluid gush out of him, making her cum yet again. Xander kissed those sweet lips yet again, coaxing her tongue into a delicate dance.

“Oh my god,” he heard her sigh, when he rested his head against her breasts.
“I know,” Xander said, never raising his head.
“Oh my god,” she said suddenly, louder this time. He frowned, raising his head.
“You…” Buffy said, her eyes widening. “You….uhm….inside me.”
“Yeah,” Xander said grinning. “It felt amazing.”
“But……” she gasped. “But…I told you not to.”
Buffy saw panic flash in his eyes.
“You said….” he spluttered, “you said inside me.”
“I said not. Not inside me,” she said, her voice sounding shrill.
They looked at each other, then down to where they were joined. Still. He was still inside Buffy. He pulled out of her, making her moan again. They both looked at her pussy. It was pink and raw and overflowing with his cum. Just looking at her made Xander semi-hard again.
“The pill,” Buffy blurted, crossing her legs. “I can take the pill tomorrow.”
As soon as I get a prescription.

“Are you sure that’s okay?” he asked, in a near panic.
“Yes,” Buffy said, nodding to herself. “Yes. I’m sure.”
Xander, sighed. “Thank god.”
“I guess….you….should…go…” Buffy said haltingly, crossing her arms over her breasts..
Xander looked at her. “Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered softly.

“What do you want?” Buffy asked, after a long time.
You he almost said. Idiot Idiot Idiot.

“I guess a blowjob would be nice,” Xander said, half jokingly, trying to derail the conversation.
“You……want……..me……..to…….” Buffy asked, trying to sound scandalized, but only too grateful for the diversion. “Since when?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.
“I guess from the moment you said ‘Hi. I’m Buffy Summers.’”
Buffy scowled. “Men are scum,” she said, but she came forward all the same, tossing her hair, and Xander watched as her lips parted to take his dick into her mouth.