To Realize What You’ve Lost And Gained

It had been months now. Almost three months since she’d let go of his hand and run off to let him die for the world. Well, screw the world. That’s what she was thinking now.

So there she sat, Buffy the great Vampire Slayer, curled on the bed of a musty old motel room sobbing and clutching the only thing she had left of him. It was one of his rings. That big, old, kinda bulky one he’d always worn on his right hand. There was an engraving on the inner side of it ‘Forget me not’.

How could she? Knowing the history of that ring served only to make the pain worse. Supposedly it had been given to some pretty young lass by her significantly less wealthy lover. It had been his way of promising to love her always. Turns out Spike had been the one to slaughter them both and steal the ring, but that was beside the point, it was the sentiment behind it that mattered. She’d found it tucked inside her pocket a couple days after that final battle. He must have slipped it in there while they were saying their pitiful excuses for good-byes.

The very fact that she’d been stupid enough to listen to him and run off allowing him to sacrifice himself sickened her. But what really made her heart throb was that he hadn’t believed her. When she’d told him she loved him, he hadn’t believed her. Hell, she hadn’t even believed it herself at the time. But now that all was said and done, now that he was gone, she knew it’d been the truth.

Choking on a sob she sat up and slipped the gaudy ring onto one of her fingers. It was many sizes too large for her petite fingers but she didn’t seem to notice. Fisting her hand closed too keep it from falling off she held it to her chest and closed her eyes.

God, how had she been so stupid, so blind to her own affections? It wasn’t the same way she’d loved Angel, he’d always have some special place in her heart, but it was a love just as strong, just as real. Yet still she hadn’t been able to see it, accept it, at least not until it was too late.

The realization had her clenching her eyes closed tighter, trying to stop the tears and will the pain away. Why did she let him do it? Why didn’t she make him come back up with her, or at the very least she could have stayed with him. Her death couldn’t have made much difference, the world was full of slayers now, and it’d have been safe enough without her.

“I thought you might want some junk from the machine, Faith took the liberty of smashing in the glass on the front of it and I - ” Willow stopped dead a few feet into the door way and set down the goodies on the side table next to the door. “Buff? Sweetie? What’s the matter?” She cooed as she made her way over to the bed and sat next to her friend. For a moment there was no answer, just the wet sound of sniffing and whimpering. “Buff, come on, you can tell me anything…” Catching sight of the ring Buffy had clutched to her chest she gave a knowing glace. “Oh… Is this about… Spike?” The simple utterance of his name sent Buffy into another fit of somewhat louder tears. In response, Willow leaned in to wrap her arms around her friend and began whispering quiet hushes and coos.

“He didn’t know. He didn’t believe me Willow… He didn’t know!” Buffy cried through broken sobs.

“Know what sweetie? What didn’t he know?” she cooed as she rocked and stroked her hair.

“I loved him, God I loved him so much…”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Bloody stupid thinking it was, me thinking I’d just run off and find Her. How the hell does a bloke mosey on up to the slayer and say ‘Well hey there pet, looks like I didn’t die saving the world like you thought after all, well not really anyway. Actually I just went all ghostie and haunted good ol’ Angel till our Fred made me corporeal again…” Spike grumbled and took another shot. Harmony sighed.

He’d been repeating himself through ranting and raving about Buffy since he came in.
She knew he loved Buffy, hell everyone knew. Just like everyone knew that she herself harbored some seriously quite obsessive feelings for him. But despite that fact, she knew that somewhere deep down she’d never really had a chance with him anyways. So she took another suck from the bright pink straw of her fruity girl drink and opted to listen to his rant, even talk him down if need be. Hey, maybe she’d get lucky and they’d go back to her place.

“…and so now I sit here, drinkin’ away my sorrows with the pretty lil bint I was shaggin’ back in Sunnydale before my obsession with the slayer…” He took another shot. “Not that I mind your company luv. No insult intended. But I died for the world, sacrificed myself for the greater good and all that cheeky crap. How do you top an exit like that? I mean, that’s one hell of a exit ya know?”

“Look blondie bear, like I told you the first ten times you told me that, girls don’t give a crap about that stuff. She like loves you right?”

Spike swallowed hard, turned to stare straight down into his drink. “She said she did…but - ”

“Well then, what’s the problem? She’ll be happy to see you again.”

“I’m sure she will. But that’s not the problem… She won’t look at me in the same way. I won’t be her champ– uh, I mean a champion anymore…”

Harmony rolled her eyes. “Oh shut up Spike. You willingly got yourself all burnt up and melted for that stupid girl and her precious little world, if she doesn’t see that that means something then she’s even stupider than I already thought.” She huffed and shoved her drink at the bartender for a refill.
Spike grinned a little and took a light swat at her arm. “Well hey now, for a vamp without a soul you’re pretty up and coming on the inspirational speeches, no?

She gave him a look that resembled that of a newly trained puppy having just been praised for remembering a new trick. “Really? Cause I’ve really been working hard on them. You know, for becoming all good and pure, and no more evil vamp. I figure since Angel is always giving the gang all those chin up speeches that I could like maybe try it too. And I’ve been off the human blood for months now. And like I think - ”

Spike raised a hand to silence her “Harmony…”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

She frowned and contemplated getting huffy but decided against it. It never did her any good anyway, he always won. She sighed. “You always do that… Even when we were together you always treated me like I was nothing more than an annoyance.”

Spike sighed. Damn. He was hoping to avoid that topic all together because to be honest that’s all she ever was too him, an annoyance. Well, that and a decent play thing, but that was beside the point. Now that he’d gotten all soul-boy he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about it, he knew how much she adored him despite his mistreating her. “Look luv, you’re a decent bird. You just don’t always know when to close that yap of yours.” Before she could open it again he added “no insult intended.” And she sighed.

“Alright, alright, fine…” She sipped her alcohol, “You wanna just go back to my place and well, you know.” She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows. He smiled back a little but shook his head.

“Don’t think so luv, the last time we did that you started crying blood and trying to rip me a new one. Besides, I’ve got me a slayer to ponder over.” He said as he scooped up his jacket and began putting it on. Harmony frowned. He was leaving. Again.

“You’re going to go find her aren’t you?” She asked quietly. He paused and looked her in the face.

“Not sure. Gonna go ponder in the quiet with a good ol’ bottle of Jack Daniel’s”

“Sure you don’t want company to ponder with?” Harmony asked in a last ditch attempt to get him back in the sac.

“Thanks for the offer luv, but yeah, I’m sure. See ya around.” And with that he turned and walked out of the bar.
And the minute he was gone a tall blonde man plopped down next to Harmony.

“Hey there beautiful, wanna blow this joint?”

She smiled. No one still talked like that. Except Vamps. Vamps did. Perhaps she’d get her roll in the sheets after all. “Sure thing blondie bear.” She reached for his hand and they stood.

“Blondie bear?” the vamp asked with a arch of his brow.

“Never mind, just go with it.” She answered. And with a his shrug they walked off into the night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Spike lay with his head dangling off the edge of the hotel bed and his fingers linked over his stomach. The world had starting spinning around the second bottle of Jack’s. And while enjoying the feel of it, he still wasn’t much closer to figuring out what he was going to do about the whole Buffy fiasco. He knew Angel didn’t want him to go, which made the idea of going that much more appealing.

But he was scared he wouldn’t mean as much to her alive as he was hero-ed up and dead and gone. On a heaved sigh he forced himself into a sitting position and began rummaging through his pockets for his wallet. Having the world do flips and flops around him certainly wasn’t making it any easier a task. When he finally managed to drag it out and pop it open he dug around the bottom of the zipper flap for the one thing he never went anywhere without. It was a small rectangular photo of a smiling Buffy. She was holding a bunch of old demon encyclopedias. There were creases both horizontally and vertically across it due to all the folding and unfolding he’d done to it. He’d stolen it from her room a little while after the night they’d just held each other.

Staring at the somewhat crumpled photo, what was left of his heart ached. Who would’ve thought a heart that didn’t beat could ache? Well he knew now. Knowing that she’d never really loved him, least not the way she’d loved Angel, killed him. She cared for him, yes, he knew that. But to the extent he didn’t know. Being away from her hurt, perhaps more than he knew he could hurt.

In that moment the memory of telling Riley that he was lucky to have her, even if he didn’t really have her, surfaced. And it made him wonder, had he been right? Was being with her better than not, even when he knew she’d never truly love him? Was simply being near her worth letting her know he wasn’t the dead champion she thought him to be?
He spent another hour staring at the photo and doubting his worth before he made his decision.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He was gone. He was gone and that was something she was going to have to deal with. At least that’s what she’d been trying to tell herself for God knows how long. She knew this feeling all too well. It was a feeling of complete and utter loss, an infinite and totally dark emptiness. It was very similar to the feelings she’d had when Angel had left her. But this was worse. This was worse because Angel had only left. Spike on the other hand had actually died. And he’d done it for her. He’d died for her, not the world. She knew that even though he’d never actually said it. She knew Spike never was one to give much of a damn about the world or the people in it. Almost everything he ever did was for his own benefit if not for what he thought was hers. So he’d stepped up to the plate and stood tall while she ran off to safety. Pitiful.

These were the thoughts that coursed through her mind as she wandered through an old Scottish grave yard on what was supposed to be a routine patrol.

With a sigh she plopped down on a broken gravestone wishing for the distraction of violence. Her voice cracked when she yelled, “Come on! Is there no undead bumpies lurking? Not even one?” When she was greeted by silence she heaved out another sigh. “Course not, why would there be a fight awaiting when I actually want one? Nope, they prefer to pop up on days like birthdays and weddings” Setting down her steak she rubbed her hands over her face and then through her hair. “Why do I even bother?” she croaked.

“Dunno bint, why do ya?”

Her head shot up. “Spike?!”

“Not quite sweetheart, but you can call me whatever you like” A tall, British, and particularly bumpy faced vampire stood rocking on his heels a couple feet away. “Wanna play?”

A sickly and somewhat twisted smile wormed it’s way into Buffy’s features and she let out a sad laugh. “Sure thing Dust… mind if I call you Dust?” She picked up her steak and stood, beginning to circle him like prey. The vampire smiled and joined the circling foot maneuvers.

“I don’t know girly, I think I kinda liked Spike…” With his words she felt something change in her, something come close to snapping inside. Her blood pumped faster, nothing made sense, the world around her was slowly beginning to spin and she needed to make it stop. Make it stop before she couldn’t…

“Who was he? Was he your play thing? Your pretty little fuck doll?” With the look that came into her eyes he grinned. “Ahh, so he was, yeah? Did you love him? Did he love you? Hmm, did he whisper you sweet nothings in the dark then?”

He was hitting too close to home, he needed to shut up, she needed to make him.

She leapt, tackled him to the ground and tossed the steak, opting to pummel him instead. “Stop talking! Just stop it!”
The vampire tried to toss her off but she didn’t let up, she kept hitting him and hitting him. Long after he’d stopped moving her fists continued their rain, became coated in his blood, and her body vibrated with heartbreak and fury. How dare he even consider he could wear his name? How dare he make assumptions on what they’d had? How dare he even utter his name?

The tears were streaming now and the words that spewed from her mouth she felt she couldn’t control. “You’re not him! You’ll never be him! Stop it! He’s gone and it’s my fault, he’s gone, he’s gone…”

“Buffy…” A soft voice whispered causing her to cease her pummeling and drop her hands to rest on either side of the unconscious and bloodied vamp’s head.

“No.” She spat, her breathing heavy and erratic.

“That’s enough luv, the bloke’s been out a while now”

“I said Stop it!” She cried as she reached for the steak she’d dropped earlier. Ramming it into the vamp’s chest she plopped down the foot or so she had from sitting on the vamp when he turned to dust. Her bloodied fists clenched and unclenched effectively getting dirt and dust under her nails. “Stop…” She whispered as another sob snuck out of her.

“It’s done luv… He’s gone.” The voice whispered again.

The vamp had been dusted, how could he still be talking? Her head whipped around and there, as she sat in the dirt and dusty remains of a vamp, she saw him.

“Spike…” The name left her lips like a prayer. And her lip quivered as she bolted up, stake still clenched in her fist. “You can’t be here. You’re gone. You’re dead…”

If his heart could beat it would have jumped in his chest. Had he done this to her? Had he caused her all this pain? The idea had him almost in tears himself.

“In a sense yeah, but you’ve always known that…” He stepped a little closer to her and she stepped back.

“No… you know what I mean, back in Sunnydale, you died,” She turned away from him and swallowed hard as she raked her fingers through her hair. “You died for me…” She whispered. He took another couple steps toward her and she stayed perfectly still.

“I did… But now I’m back, I’m not asking for any favors. I… I just wanted to see you again… That’s all I… “ He sighed. “I just needed to see you again…”

She swallowed a sob and closed her eyes. “If this is someone’s cruel idea of a joke and you’re just wearing his face…” her voice hardened and he knew she’d come back to herself a little. “…I’ll tear you apart. Piece by piece. Just know that if this is bullshit… If this isn’t real, I swear to God I’ll make you wish I’d killed you here and now instead…” She turned to look at him then, made sure he was staring back when she continued. “…Cause I’ll do it slowly…”

He smiled a little “Still got quite the imagination on ya, eh luv?” When she only stared back, stake never leaving her hand he sighed and took another step toward her.
“No, not a joke pet, just me being a bloke.”

Frowning and still with the glisten of tears she was unwilling to shed, her response wasn’t one that he’d expected. She stared him straight in the eyes and spoke with a firm tone yet underlying brokenness “Promise?”

He could swear he felt his shriveled up prune of a heart break a little. “I Promise.”
The second the words left his mouth she was in his arms, the tears flowing freely again. “I missed you. God I missed you so much. You didn’t believe me, when I told you, you wouldn’t believe me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She sobbed into his arms.

He stroked her hair and whispered “It’s alright pet. You got nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay, I’m back now, I promise…”

“I love you.” She whispered

“What?” He asked frowning

“I love you, I said I love you. You didn’t believe me before, I didn’t believe me before. But I do. I do Spike, I love you.” He was quiet for a moment. Everything in her tone said she was telling the truth. There was no reason to lie to him about it now. No one benefited from it. He pulled her back a little so he could look her in the face when he made her say it.

“Tell me again.”

She swallowed hard and smiled a little despite her uncomfortableness with saying the words.

“I love you.” She whispered

He couldn’t see any lies in her eyes. Not like he had that day. They were clear now, so clear he would swear he could see her soul straight through them. God he could drown in those eyes, but damned if he’d ever tell her that, not even now..

“Again.” He whispered as he brought her closer and placed a kiss directly between her jaw line and neck.

“I love you.” She repeated it on an intake of breath as his tongue touched her skin. He smiled and bit her ear gently.

“Keep saying it. Keep saying it while I touch you…. I’ll make you scream it.”
She laughed lightly despite herself. “It’s really you isn’t it?… Never have I met anyone else who could be as blunt and crude as you are on a regular basis… least not anyone who wasn’t completely consumed by evil.”

“I used to be” he whispered casually as he skimmed her shoulder with his teeth and backed them up so her ass leaned against an old grave stone. She shook her head.

“No… No, you never were. You loved me even before you got your soul back… You were just… Lost…”

He pulled back to stare her in the face. “If you knew half the things I’ve done you wouldn’t be saying that… What I did to you alone was…”

“Stop.” She said firmly. “I’m too scared this is a dream. I want everything said and done long before I wake up. I want it to be about me telling you everything I should have told you before, and you just being here… really here… not some crazy delusion I concocted while hyped up on excessive amounts of cookie dough ice cream and beer.”

He arched a brow at her ice cream and beer comment. She blushed. “Never mind, it was comfort food, I got… Let’s forget about that shall we?”

“Sure thing love…” He mumbled as his lips came down to press against hers again. “Sure thing…”

The fire was there, it was always there. But he fought it. Even as she pushed against him, dared him to do what they’d always been so great at, he held off. He was trying to be gentle, trying to show her everything was okay. She understood that, loved him even more for bothering to try, but right now it wasn’t what she wanted, not what she needed.

“I’m not going to break,” She whispered. “You know that better than anyone…”
His movements stilled and his hands stayed gripped at her hips while his lips hovered just above her pulse.

“I know…” He whispered but still didn’t move.

Her hands took hold of his face to lift his gaze to hers. “Then what’s got you so tied up? I’m right here.” She emphasized the ‘here’ by taking his hand and placing it gently over her left breast. “I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. You can’t… I won’t let you…”

He sighed. “I’ve got no bloody intention of going anywhere. If I did then I wouldn’t have bothered coming back.” With the look of pain that flashed in her eyes with his words his voice softened and he reached a hand up to stroke her still damp cheek. “It’s just that… Damnit Buffy, you should have seen yourself back there. You were broken…. You were… you weren’t the same person I left behind. I...I think - Oh bollocks I’m bloody well awful at this.” He cursed and ran a hand through his bleach blond tuff of short curls, effectively mussing it. “It’s just that I did that to you… knowing that I did that to you, I just - ” She cut him off.

“Stop. Stop it right now. You’re here now. I’m holding you right now and I need you. I need things to be how they were, except this time,” She took hold of his lapels and brought him closer. “This time it’s gonna be without the lies and bullshit, this time when you tell me you love me I’m gonna say it back and then you’re gonna fuck me.”

He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face at her words. She didn’t often swear and so it always amused him when she did. There was always something off about it that almost always made it strangely sexy. Couple that with the sentence in which she’d used said cuss word and you pretty much guaranteed a hard on
“Bloody hell, do you ever know what to say to shut a bloke up.”

“It’s a talent of mine, comes with the territory.”

“I bet.” He scoffed lightly as he began reining kisses over her neck, shoulders and down over her collarbone towards the swell of her small breasts peeking just slightly over the collar of the white wife-beater she was wearing.

Her hands tangled in his hair and her legs came up to wrap around his waist. God she’d missed this. The burning heat that always flared between them, the contrast of his cold against her warmth, the whole of it was intoxicating. How she’d ever believed she didn’t want or need him was beyond her. This man, this beautiful creature was perfect despite his countless flaws, how that could be she didn’t know, but at the moment couldn’t quite bring herself to care.

One of his hands reached up under her shirt to fondle her right breast while the other reached down to cup her ass and press her closer to him. He loved this woman more than life it’s self or rather un-life. He’d loved her for years, and for years she’d denied him, even when she’d taken him to bed she’d still refused to let him in. And now, after both had died and come back – twice – she was letting him in. Finally in. And he would happily die in this very moment if it could be the last sure thing he’d ever know.

He pulled back slightly to pull her shirt up over her head and noticed her eyes. Glazed over with passion and pleading with him. Her face posed with a sort of uncontrolled concentration as she breathed heavy and watched him watch her for a second.
He grinned at her and leaned in to unhook her bra and free her breasts. Once free he bent so he could kiss one, lick one. She made a small sound in her throat and he bit down on one of her nipples just hard enough to elicit a small jump and a moan. She liked it rough and they both knew it.

He trailed more kisses up her neck and back to her face a little more violently than before and she pressed him closer with her legs as her arms came round to yank his shirt up over his head. She did it so suddenly that he had to laugh at her. She smiled back and even with a reddened, tear stained face she was beautiful. So bloody sexy and she didn’t even know it.
“Stand for a second love.” He growled. She untangled her legs and stood before him without question. He couldn’t help thinking that that just made it all the hotter. kneeling he took hold of the drawstring on her sweatpants, pulled it loose and tugged them down.
Black lace thong. Damn he loved this woman.

He leaned her against the stone again and placed a few more rough kisses over her abdomen and over the outside of her panties, his teeth grazing and making her shiver.
Her breath was coming in ragged pants now and she had to fight not to shove him to the ground, tear off his pants and ride him hard and fast. He could sense the urgency in her and it only spurred him on.

Yanking off her thong he tossed one of her legs over her shoulder and swiped his tongue over her slit in one quick motion. Her back arched and she made that throaty noise again. He smiled against her folds and spoke a second later.
“Tell me slayer…”

She swallowed hard and it took her a moment to register he was actually “What?” she whispered.

“Tell me again that you love me… then we can keep going.”
She smiled and panted out “Always so bossy…” but she didn’t utter the words he wanted to hear.

“It isn’t as if you don’t enjoy it” he countered and waited another second to hear the words. They didn’t come. She was playing another one of her games and they both knew it. “All right then, we’ll play this your way.” He brought one of his hands up and separated her folds with his fingers so that he could see all that she had to offer.
“Now tell me love…” he brought his face down to her heat and swiped his tongue over her nub a couple times. “…would you like to cum?”

She bucked against him in response but still said nothing.
Adding a finger into her tight quim his mouth came down again to flick and nip at her as his middle finger slid in and out of her channel.

What came from her now was more that just a throaty sound, it was a full blown moan and her hips began rocking almost violently against his face. He added a finger and quickened his pace. She arched, and he grinned against her. He added yet another finger and she moaned his name as she panted and ground against him.

It was glorious, the feel, the rush, the power. It all soared together in a blinding rush of feeling. She was seconds from climax, she bucked and rocked and tried to shove his face deeper, reaching for that wonderful release. Mere seconds now, almost there.

And he stopped, a complete and full blown halt.

She looked down in confusion at his grinning face, that somewhat crooked smile of his and she knew his words before he said them.
“And back to my earlier question pet, would you like to cum?”

She made a kind of growled whimper and tried to coax him into finishing her by shoving forward a little. But he held her firm.
“I love you pet, tell me you love me and you get to cum.” He flicked he nub again and she practically convulsed.

Not only was he enjoying their little game but he really did need to hear her say it. For so long she had denied him even the tiniest of affections. A tenderness here and there but it was almost always followed by a harsh blow. Now that he had her here, knew that she truly had genuine feeling for him and not only that but was willing to accept them and him. He needed to hear her say it, wanted to keep hearing her say it for the rest of her life. And they both knew it. So out came the words, shrouded in a veil of casualness but said and meant none the less.

“Alright, alright, you win. God damnit. You win, I love you, I love you more than you could ever know.”

His chest burned with her words. No one nor anything had ever made him feel anything with such intensity before. He never experienced it, hadn’t even known it was possible. Yet here it was staring him in the face and he knew it was real. By God, she loved him, she really loved him and that meant more to him than anything else in the world. And he was going to show her.

The second the words had left her mouth his fingers and mouth were replaced and she began to build again. Just as she was about to finish he replaced his mouth with his thumb to rub her clit as his three fingers pumped in and out of her and her eyes nearly rolled in her head.

Then his mouth left her again and she opened her mouth to protest only to snap it shut again when his face changed and his fangs sank deep into her inner thigh right next to her crotch. Her head flung back and her hips pumped into him as she called out his name and came with a white hot heat.

He continued to suck lightly, her sweet blood seeping into his mouth and driving him almost to the brink.
When her hips stopped pumping and her muscles contracting, he let go, lapped the wound closed and let his fingers slip out of her.

She flopped against him for a second and sighed. “God I missed that… But who gave you permission to bite me?”

“I took the liberty upon myself, you seemed to enjoy it anyway.”

She shrugged. “Guess I did.” Dropping to her knees she yanked down his jeans. “Your turn.”

She said it with such an ease and matter of fact tone that he had to laugh. “Well alright then. Get to work then pretty slayer.”

She sent him a ‘come on now, we know who’s really boss’ type of look and did just that.

Rubbing over his tip with her thumb she smiled up at him before taking what she could of his eight inches into her throat and pumping the rest with her free hand while the other fondled his sac.

He watched her head bob up and down his shaft, watched it appear and disappear behind those beautiful lips for as long as he could before he had to close his eyes and let his head fall back. Never in all his centuries had he met anyone who could give head like her. Where she’d learned it he didn’t care to know but he was damn grateful she had.

Without warning she pulled him out of her mouth with a wet plop and began jerking him off with her hand so she could look up into his face. She had that devious look about her and he knew she had something in mind. “What would you have to say if I decided I wanted to bite you?”

He did his best to look unsurprised and arch a brow. “Well I’d have to say as long as you keep it above the waste it’d be just dandy.”

She feigned a pout as she continued to pump him, flicked her tongue over his tip just to watch him squirm. Her free hand had slipped down to play with herself without her noticing, but he sure as fuck had. She spoke with a bit of a pant as well “You didn’t, why should I?”

“Because I wasn’t bloody likely to bite something off.” He panted back

She shoved him into her throat again, sucked hard and swallowed once, twice, three times before letting him slide out and glide her tongue up the length of him and back.

“Neither am I, I just wanna play” She rasped out as he cursed.

“Bloody hell woman what the hell are you doing to me? I’m actually considering letting you bite my cock!” he panted out and gripped the tomb stone to keep from shoving himself into the depths of her throat.

She laughed. “I won’t, not your ‘cock’, just close to it… like here.” She brought her mouth to the same place he’d brought his and bit down as she tightened her grip on him and pumped a little faster. He let out what sounded like a growl and felt his face morph to that of his demon as he came hard. The first shot hit her just between neck and shoulder but she was quick to get him back in her mouth and try to milk the rest of him dry as he pumped his hips, shoving himself into her throat.

When he plopped out of her mouth he looked down in time to see her wipe the shot that had hit her shoulder off on her finger and slide it into her mouth to suck it dry as her other hand rubbed over her core in fast circles.

The sight of that alone had him going semi hard again. A few pumps of his own hand and watching her fly into a small climax herself did the trick and had him hard again.

Without much thought he took hold of her and shoved her to the ground. There was a squeek of surprise on her part but she was over it fairly quickly as he tossed her legs up over his shoulders and drove himself into her full force. She arched and moaned as he thrusted into her with a force that would have broken the bones of a regular human, but there was nothing regular about her, she was a slayer. The slayer as far as he was concerned.

It was almost too much feeling, he was everywhere and nowhere at once. Thrusting and pumping at an inhuman speed that had her thrashing her head and arching her back. “God, oh god, please, yesss”

He knew what she was begging for and he aimed to give it to her. He twisted his hips slightly and she moaned again. Then he pulled out and flipped her onto her stomach so fast that she barely registered it until he had her ass yanked up in the air. He began impaling her dripping heat from behind. She screamed and came again when he entered her, the new angle was touching depths and spots she’d never know she had until she’d met him.

Unable to support her own weight on her palms she dropped to her elbows and they both cried out with the new angle. He reached under her and began rubbing rough circles over her clit and had her moaning his name again.

“You love this don’t you pet? Taking it from behind, from a monster, a demon?
She turned her head around to try and see him. Her mouth was hanging opening in a pant and her brows nit in concentrated ecstasy as she tried to match him thrust for thrust. His demon face was up again and he had almost the same look on his face as she did. She decided to give him the satisfaction of an answer.

“It’s only you. My demon, my monster, only - ” her speech was cut off by her own cry before she could finish. “..you!” as the words left her mouth she exploded for the fourth time that night and he couldn’t help but follow her over this time as her walls clenched over him in quick fevered pulses with every intention of milking him for all he was worth.

They collapsed together and his face reverted back to it’s human form. He flipped them over so she lay atop him. They lay there for a good moment before she shifted to try and pull him up and out of her. He gripped her hips and shoved her back down. She shivered in response.

“Let me stay like this. Your so warm, always so bloody warm…” he whispered as he pulled her head down to rest on his shoulder. She smiled, nuzzled closer and whispered.

“I love you…”

He could swear his heart managed to beat a little every time those words left her mouth. He reached up to stroke her hair and placed a chaste kiss atop her crown.
“I love you too pet, more than anything… And it’s about bloody time you accepted it”
She smiled again as she fought the urge to fall asleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A few hours later Buffy awoke still stark naked on the ground in a graveyard in Scotland with the man she’d just confessed her undying love to then had hot wild sex with. God bless Scotland.

With a sigh she rolled off of him and felt him slip out of her with a wet plop. She thought briefly about how wonderful a shower would be before a thought struck her.
What time was it? Scooping up her pants she rummaged through it’s pockets. A second later she was checking the time on her cell phone’s screen. Scowling she shoved it back in her pocket and slipped her pants back on, not bothering with her underwear as they were quite gross after what happened a few hours before. Looking around she realized something rather distressing, her bra was gone. Crap.

“Spike, Spike wake up. The sun’s gonna be up soon, and you lost my bra.”
“Sod off bint I have no bloody son and I din’t steal your bra…” He mumbled as he rolled over so not to face her. She laughed despite her predicament and bent down to poke him in the ribs.

“First off I’m not a bint, my name is Buffy and though I can understand you not knowing it as you never use it, you should at least pretend to as I am the woman who recently confessed an undying love for you.”

He shifted slightly and mumbled “Ah yes, Buffy, I’ll try and remember…” She rolled her eyes and continued. “Second, no one said anything about you having a son. But the sun, you know the big bright one that lights the sky during the day? Yeah that one, it’s gunna fry your ass if you don’t move.” He reached out and pulled her down with him so that she lay atop him again. “Then I’ll die a happy man no?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

AN: Forgive me for the length of this chapter as well as any grammical errors haha. It just kept on coming and that's rare for me so I decided to jut go with it. Also, I'm unsure as to wether I would like to leave this one how it is, or maybe try and add on a few more chapters and develop the story line a little more. So I'd really appreciate some opinions on that one. I'll probably just leave it the way it is, but you never know maybe I'll get inspired or something. Who knows haha. On a side note, this is the first time I've ever posted a Lime/Lemon, and i'm thinking this one was a little over the top lol excuse me for that one. Anyways, thanks to anyone who reviews and I hope you enjoyed reading this because I know I enjoyed writing it.