Solace

Chapter Name: Intense
Description: In the season 2 episode "Phases" Xander and Buffy share an intense look in the funeral home. I always thought about a "What if" and here it is. The next chapter will have sex in it, but I won't write it if people won't read it so if you want the next chapter please leave a review and rate. If it doesn't look like anyone wants the next chapter I'll leave this as is which in a way also serves my purpose in writing this. I hope everyone enjoys the story! See you next time!
~Pictures Of The Scene~
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~Xander’s Perspective~
I watch from a safe distance as Buffy struggles with the vampire, knowing I would only get in the way if I chose to involve myself so I just wait to see if she needs me. She raises the stake above to plunge it into the vampire’s heart.

“Angel sends his love.” The vampire says, and Buffy stalls for a second in surprise.

The vampire takes advantage of her hesitation and kicks the stake from her hand, using it’s strength to roll Buffy over on her back. Ok, now she needs me to get in the way! I spot the stake that was kicked across the room, but the stand she had previous broke looks closer, so I pick it up in my grasp and plunge it through the vampire’s back just as her teeth got a little too close to Buffy’s neck.

The vampire turns into dust and the thrill I always get when dusting one made me smile, but the look on Buffy’s face as she sat up quickly dissolves my pride in saving her. She whispers Angel’s name and the sad look on her face very nearly breaks my heart. I offer my hand and she takes it, getting up on her feet only to immediately hug me, and not knowing what else to do I hug her back.

“This isn’t happening,” She says just barely above a whisper and my heart truely aches for her.

Since Angel turned all evil vampy, Buffy has been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, not that I could fault her for it. As much as I really hate to admit it, Angel was the love of her life, and because she experienced one night of bliss with him he’s now killing innocent people to torture her. Well, it’s working, she’s feeling all kinds of guilty for everything Angelus does.

Her arms squeeze me tight and she burries her face against my shoulder, surprising even me with her sudden need for a good hug. My hands touch the skin of her exposed neck and arms and it bugs me that I enjoy it when she needs me like this.

“He’s going to keep coming after me,” She says.

With just those simple words I feel a strong protective force flow through me and and my arms tighten around her. He won’t hurt her as long as I’m alive! I swear, there won’t be a single bruise on her! Every tear she cries I will pay back to the undead bastard a hundred times over!

“Don’t let him get to you,” I say to her, comfortingly rubbing her back with one hand, “He’s not the same guy you knew...”

The tenderness in my voice seems to comfort her because I feel her body visibly relax against mine. My heart does flipflops in my chest at the feeling of being able to not only comfort her, but also make her relax for the first time in weeks. But within just a few moments her body tenses up again and she pulls her face away from my shoulder. I turn my head and meet her gaze with my own, literally stunned by the intense look she gives me.

I can see the confusion in that look, as if she’s feeling something she can’t explain, but I don’t look away, and God help me niether does she. Ok whoa, wait a minute, rewind, back up, and check the rear view mirrors! Weren’t we just here to investigate the alleged werewolf attack? What lead us to this moment where her eyes are boring through me and cutting at my soul? It wasn’t long ago that I wanted her to give me that very look. Now though, she’s making me feel naked.

“Xander...” She says just above a whisper.

I know I should look away, break the tractor beam holding our eyes on each other, and forget about this. I’m happy with Cordy, despite our two completely different personalities, interests, and just about everything else, and I don’t want to ruin things with her. But Buffy was my first true love at first sight girl. Even years from know when we’re both with different people and old and gray, as I’m drinking my prune juice I’ll still be in love with her.

Her face hovers just an inch from my own, and for once in our friendship I see Buffy too scared to continue. I make that choice for her and brush my lips against hers, the tiny feather-like touch making my lips ache for further contact. A soft gasp escapes her throat, like every worry on her mind leaves in an instant, and she kisses me. A long deep down moan starts in my chest and rises like a geyser until it is muffled in her mouth.

She clearly hears that sound because she whimpers and presses closer to me, her lips becoming more demanding, and my lips more than willing to fill those demands. My hands slide down and rest on the small seductive curve of her back, and I pull her tighter against me as my lips kiss her just as good as she kisses me. All of my makeout sessions with Cordelia is definitely paying off, because I can almost sense what Buffy needs and make split second decision to increase her pleasure higher.

Buffy presses her perfectly athletic body against mine, and there there is no way in hell she can’t feel my erection through my jeans, but if she does feel it she gives no indication. I know she’s hurting, and deep down I know that I should not be taking advantage of her like this, but I also respect her intelligence. She knows I would never take advantage of her, but still her lips devour my own and my body sings with the pleasure of kissing her for the first time.

I move my hands back up her body and finally touch them both to her cheeks, slowing down the kiss moment by moment until we stop kissing and our lips merely brush against each other again. I hadn’t noticed it before, but at some point she closed her eyes, and when she opens them again her eyes meet mine. We stare at each other for several moments, and I desperately try to read her thoughts through those amazing eyes.

Although mind reading would be really neat, I couldn’t pierce her thoughts, but I did notice that for the first time in a long time her eyes were not full of sadness. It’s something else entirely. Contentment? Desire? Happiness perhaps? I’m not sure, but our lips finally pull apart and break the spellbinding contact between us. I half expect her to slap me, or just avoid the face stinging contact and leave, but her body doesn’t break contact with mine.

It’s definitely arousing having such a sexy girl I care about so much press her body to mine. Even through our clothing I can feel just about every shapely curve of her body. Of course, constant training and vamp dusting keeps her in the best shape she can possibly be in. I finally remove my hands from her face and with extraordianry willpower I take a step back, separating our bodies.

I’m not sure if I am pleased or not when that seems to breathe life back into her and she blinks rapidly a few times. She crosses her arms slightly, as if feeling exposed and a light blush colors her cheeks.

“W-We should really get back.” She says and without waiting for a response she walks through the door and leaves the room. A thousand thoughts run through my head, and I choose to set them aside for now until I get the chance to think about them privately. I run to catch up to Buffy, and the walk back to her home remains silent.

Thank God...