BIZARRE BUFFY

Previously on Buffy…

Buffy want to use Spike to calm her horninees, but he was tired of that. She use him and then she him. He decides to revenge. So he make her horny and then he beat her and leave her in an alley.

“FUCKING LUCK”

Buffy: Oh shit, a rat urine on me. In this 6 fucking years everything happen to me, I've only got been hit by the garbage tru.....BANG! 

Well yeah, the truck hits buffy…

Willow and Xander went to the hospital to know how she was, the doctor say that she was astonishly recovered even when the impact was hard, but she had an infection in her mouth ‘cause the rat urine.

Now at the Summer’s house, Buffy rest in her bed but she has her lips very swollen.

Buffy: I’m awful, I’m look like Dolly Parton. 
Willow: Take it easy Buffy, the doctor says that whit this ointment the inflammation will down in 3 weeks. 
Buffy: Whattttt??? 3 weeks!!, God, I can’t be more humiliated, first Spike, then the rat, the truck and now this lips, Willow do a spell!
Willou: Buffy you know that I can’t, I took a sabbatical.
Buffy: You are my best friend, do something!!!! 
Dawn: Buffy I remind you that the lady from social services is coming today, actually she must be ....Ding dong 
Willow: She is here, don’t worry friend, I attend her for you.
Buffy: No!, she will think that I left my sister alone with some lesbian, I’ll seem irresponsible. 
Dawn: How do you explain about your lips?
Buffy: ummm, I’ll see.

Downstairs Buffy receive the lady.

Lady: Hellooo, I came to see dawn. Ah, are your lips ok? 
Buffy: Collagen, I’m kind of vain.
Lady: Well if you had money to paid the collagen, why I found 3 electric bills that said last warning?
Buffy: Give me that! 
Lady: Well Dawn, shouldn’t be in school? 
Dawn: Buffy told me that is Sunday. 
Lady: Today is Wednesday. 
Buffy: Stupid calendar… 
Lady: Ah Ms. Buffy... 
Buffy: Ms?? I’m 22!, I mean 21.
Lady: I don’t think that is a good idea that Dawn be under the guidance of someone so absent-minded
Buffy: I’m very responsible, this is the first time that this happen…this month.
Willow: Buffy I’m going to my lesbian lazy wiccan reunion
Lady: This woman live here? 
Buffy: Oh yes, but she pay rent, with her money I support Dawn.
Lady: Ok I heard enought, Dawn you come with me. 
Dawn: Ok but I’m hungry, want some pizza.
Buffy: Nooo, don’t take her awayyy 

Unconsoled, Buffy is crying at the graveyard and she see Spike walking with some hottie chick.

Spike: Lookie, lookie who is here.
Chick: uuuugg do you know this leprous?
Spike: She is the slayer. 
Buffy: And who is that? 
Spike: My new..something, what happen to your lips? 
Buffy: ah ummm, I get burn with some cigarrette 
Spike: You don’t smoke. 
Buffy: Well I start today!
Chick: the slayer is a homeless? 
Buffy: Look you whore, son of a bitch, if you don’t want to make u dust, shup ut!!
Chick: I’m not a vampire. 
Spike: She’s human, slayer. What’s wrong? Your swollen lips affect your sense of smell. 
Buffy: Now I can’t be more humiliated. 

In that moment Willow came to the graveyard... 

Willow: Buffy!!! the doctor said that the truck hit also give u incontinence.
Buffy: Shit…

to be continue…