Of Gods, Champions, and Goa'uld

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters portrayed in this fic. They all belong to their perspective owners. No copyright infringement intended, no profit being made.

Summary: The military has screwed up again. Now, the God of War is calling his Champion, Generals, and their allies to save Earth.

Pairings: Xander/Anya (temp) Buffy/Riley Willow/Tara Xander/many implied-hinted-suggested het and slash but nothing definite. (Its not a couple-y story...you'll see)

Time-line: Post BtVS season four, goes AU from there. AU for season seven of Stargate: SG-1. Post xXx movie. Other timelines for new characters as they are introduced.

Spoilers: Through Buffy season four. Through SG-1 season six. All of xXx movie. More spoilers added as needed.

Warning: I am twisting many of the canon ideas to fit this fic. So, if you don't like canon beliefs being messed with, you may not like this. Buffy bashing is only temporary. Also, I don't know how often I will get to update this.



OF GODS, CHAMPIONS, AND GOA'ULD


CHAPTER ONE

"So, what are we looking for tonight G-man? Any new end of the world prophecies we should know about?" Xander Harris asked, as he entered the Magic Box. After placing the boxes of pizza and several sodas on the table, he turned to face the rest of the room.

"How many times must I ask you not to call me that?" Giles asked as he polished his glasses.

"Nothin' new Xan. Just the standard look through this, see if you find anything important. It's been slow lately," Buffy said, looking up from the book she was pretending to read.

"Yeah, it's been quiet since the Initiative was taken down," Riley piped up from his spot next to his girlfriend.

"Coolness. " Xander grabbed a book, and with his back to the rest of the room, joined Buffy, Riley, Tara, and Willow with the "research". Anya remained behind the counter counting her money, while Giles puttered around the shop, his nose in a book. Spike sat on the step leading to the upstairs, sneering at everyone.

The shop was quiet for an hour, only the sounds of pages being turned filling the air, with the occasional hushed comment between Buffy and Riley or Willow and Tara. The sound of the bell above the door tinkling announced someone's entrance. Before any of the Scoobies could react, a deep loud voice boomed.

"I live for this shit!"

Xander's head shot up, and he spun in his seat. Standing just inside of the shop was a man standing just over six feet tall. He was wearing tight black jeans and an equally tight black wife-beater. Massive muscular and tattooed arms were crossed over an equally muscular chest. The smirk on his face, and shaved head just added to the impression of "Don't fuck with me".

"CAGE!" Xander yelled as he ran to the stranger, grabbing him in a back slapping hug.

"Oi! Bloody hell, not you," Spike snarled from his perch on the stairs.

"Ah, come on Blondie. Didn't you miss me?" the man smirked as he released Xander.

"Like a bleedin' stake in the heart. So, hows tricks then Baldie?"

"Enough you two," Xander said rolling his eyes. "Geesh, nice to see some things don't change. What brings you here Cage?"

"You haven't heard? I'm dead." Cage answered.

The others, who had been staying quiet throughout the conversation, instantly went on alert. Buffy grabbed the stake from the back of her jeans while Willow and Tara clasped hands, preparing to lend any magical help needed.

"That's an awful strong heartbeat ya got there fer bein' dead," Spike snorted.

"What can I say? Didn't like the idea of bein' dead too well. So, I thought "where can a dead guy go and not get noticed?" Here I am," Cage said with a shrug.

"Sit. What happened to you? You just disappeared a couple of months after I got back to Sunnydale," Xander said, pulling Cage into a seat beside him at an empty table, ignoring everyone else in the room.

"Seen that bit you did with that Senator Hotchkiss, bloke. Brilliant that was," Spike said while joining them at the table.

"Hell yeah. J.J. sent me a DVD of the web feed. Should have stuck around until you pulled it off," Xander nodded.

"It was your idea," Cage said with a grin. "Good thing you didn't stick around though, kid. I got nabbed right after that. Feds gave me two options, Levinworth or playing 007. Guess which I chose?"

"I take it the 007 gig has something to do with you being dead now?"

"XANDER!!!" Buffy screeched. "What's going on?"

"Yep," Cage continued, ignoring the outburst. "Some special-op boys decided blowing up a building with me in it was a good idea. I didn't agree. Not my fault they thought the Slen'theth demon I left in the building was me."

"Slen'theth?" Xander and Spike shared a look and quick glance at Riley when Cage mentioned special-ops.

"Humanoid, pet. Covered in needles, course a fire would have destroyed those. Gotta taste for fresh bone marrow though," Spike answered.

"Ok. Eww. So, no one is going to be looking for you then?"

"XANDER HARRIS!!!!!!!! ANSWER ME! WHAT IS GOING ON?" Buffy screeched again.

Xander gave Cage and Spike a sheepish grin. The other two rolled their eyes and snorted. Realizing they had done the same thing, they glared at each other. Xander snorted.

"Sorry guys. This is a friend of mine. We met on my uneventful road trip."

Cage coughed at that statement. "Uneventful? Right. Let me see if I can do this. The old guy with the glasses is the Giles guy, the red-head is "Your Willow", and the screeching blonde is Buffy. I didn't hear about you other three. Where's Oz?"

"You know Oz?" Willow asked with an eep.

Cage nodded. "Dingoes played a couple of times for us that year. The kid was there for one of them, introduced me to Oz."

"I'm not a kid!" Xander protested. "Okay. I may have been then...Sure it's only been a little over a year, but still, you can do a lot of growing up in a year."

"Kid. You did a lot of growing up in four months. And kid is age, not experience. The two are mutually exclusive in your case," Cage answered with a smirk.

"Xander, are you going to introduce everyone? I find it's hardly fair that he knows who we are while we have no idea about him," Giles asked with a heavy sigh.

"Oh. Sorry 'bout that. You got those three right. Beside Buffy is her boyfriend Riley. Beside Willow is her beautiful girlfriend Tara," Xander gave the shy girl a wink when she blushed. "And behind the counter is..."

"My name is Anya. Xander has never mentioned anyone like you before. I don't like that. I'm his girlfriend, and I should have been informed of your existence."

"Girlfriend?" Cage asked with a raised eyebrow.

Xander slowly nodded as Spike snickered.

"I know a few girls that are going to be awfully upset about that. A couple of guys too," Cage smirked.

Xander groaned and hid his face in his hands. "Can we please not talk about that?"

"What girls? And what do you mean guys too? Who are you?" Anya demanded.

"I was about to tell you that before you interrupted me, Ahn. I met him when my car broke down in Oxnard. This is..." Xander smirked. "Cage, Xander Cage."

Cage smacked him in the back of the head. "Idiot."

"Ow." Xander gave him a goofy grin.

"You know about demons?" Riley asked.

Xander and Spike exchanged another glance. Spike leaned in and whispered to Cage. "Watch it. He's a soldier boy. Had problems with the military stickin' their noses in things around here. Boy and his group had to pull their asses outta the fire, literally. Captain Cardboard there stuck around after the shit hit the fan."

Cage narrowed his eyes at Riley. "Yeah, I know about demons. Had a run-in with a vamp in Oxnard. Fucker wouldn't stay down. Then poof, its gone. When the dust cleared Xan was standing there with a piece from a wooden crate in his hand. We spent the next few months moving around fighting vamps and demons."

"What? Xander, you told us you stayed in Oxnard the entire time," Willow protested.

"And male strippers and money in the waistband saying thank you," Buffy added.

Giles, Anya, and Riley all looked at Xander incredulously. Tara blushed, while Cage and Spike snickered.

"Buffy, when we met up you were having transition issues. You didn't need me telling what I really did on my vacation. It's not that big of a deal anyway. I did apply to wash dishes at the Fabulous Ladies Night Club. When I was walking back to my motel I heard Cage and the vamp. I staked the vamp he was fighting. He bought me a few beers. I told him about what goes bump-in-the-night and what I was planning with my trip. He was moving around a lot at the time anyway and offered to let me tag along in exchange for training him and his crew on how to deal with the nasties. That's all, really." Xander finished, giving Spike and Cage a pointed look. Both rolled their eyes at him.

"Why is Spike acting like old buddies with you?" Buffy asked.

"Because he was with us most of the time," Cage answered.

"WHAT?" Yelled the other people in the room. Spike smirked.

"I want to know more about what happened with you," Xander said, ignoring the others.

"Like I said. Feds got me after that bridge stunt. They gave me the option of prison or playing spy with some group they weren't able to get into. Next thing I know, I'm knee deep in ex-Russian military trying to destroy the world. I took them out and took out the sub they were going to use to deploy a chemical agent called Silent Night. Got a nice little vacation to Bora Bora outta it.Apparently that made me a big target with some special-ops guys that want to take down the government here. Last time I talked to Gibbs he was getting some dude by the name of Stone to handle it. Then they tried to blow me up. Haven't been in contact with anyone since. That was three weeks ago."

"That's all classified information! You can't just go around telling people about things like that," Riley yelped.

"I'm dead. Dead men tell no tales," Cage snarled.

"Alexander LaVelle Harris! I don't care about all of that other stuff!" Anya wailed. "I want to know about these other girls and guys, and male strippers, and money in the waistband!"

"Forget the girls, Harris. I know a goddess that's gonna be royally pissed at you," Cage cringed.

"Shut up," Xander hissed. He quickly scanned the room, as if expecting someone to suddenly appear. "She hasn't popped in on me in months, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"I want answers mister! And what's this about a goddess popping in on you? Have you been cheating on me, Xander?" Anya demanded.

"I want some answers too! Why was Spike with you Xander?" Buffy added.

"Yeah, buster. What did you think you were doing, going goddess knows where, with some guy you just met hunting vamps and demons?! You could have been killed." Willow wailed.

"Yes, Xander. I do believe some answers are in order," Giles admonished.

Xander sighed and sagged into his seat. A light, feminine laugh filled the room. Xander dropped his face back into his hands and groaned.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Now look at that sweetie. They're all mad at you. If you would just listen to me..." the voice twittered as a female appeared in the room. She was tall, with thick long blonde hair cascading down her back. A long, flowing, semi-transparent gown of the lightest blue emphasized her voluptuous female form. Bright topaz-blue eyes took in the other people in the room.

The girls immediately took up battle stances, while Giles and Riley stared open- mouthed at the figure before them. An elbow in the ribs to both of them had them quickly looking away.

"Not now, Dite. Please," Xander moaned.

"Oh, Alexander. Quit being such a baby. Really. You'd think you were ashamed of me or something." Dite fixed him with a pointed look.

"Never," Xander quickly assured her. "But, this is going to make things more complicated."

"Xander! Have you been cheating on me with this...this...this HUSSY!" Anya exclaimed.

"HUSSY!" Dite turned flaming eyes on the blonde behind the counter.

"Easy luv. Bint used to be a Vengeance Demon, you know. She's got no clue when a real Goddess is in the room," Spike cajoled the irate deity.

"William!" the Goddess squealed as she flung herself into his arms. Settling herself in Spike's lap, she turned attention back to Xander. "Really Alexander. I don't see what you see in any of these girls. None of them look like a real woman, they're all bones and skin. Well, except you sweetie," she eyed Tara. "You are absolutely gorgeous. Oh, you follow Auntie Hecate*, don't you? I've heard talk of you. She has high hopes for you. You make her very proud. And you stop snickering over there Cage. I looked in on you too. That Yelena was no better than these three."

"Th...tha...thank you Goddess Aphrodite. I...I am honored," Tara stuttered, blushing hotly. Aphrodite winked at her.

"Aphrodite," Willow breathed. "But...but...but...."

"Dear Lord," Giles gasped.

Anya and Riley both gaped like fish.

"You don't seriously believe that's the Goddess of Love do you?" Buffy sneered. "I mean first of all, she's sitting in Spike's lap...and just let me say EWW, about that. Secondly, look at the way she's dressed. She looks like a blond Peg Bundy or something. Also, she said I wasn't a real woman...."

Aphrodite waved her hand. Buffy found herself gagged with a red silk scarf. "Really. Does she always go on like that?"

"Dite," Xander moaned. "Could you please not insult and gag MY friends? Buffy, I'll only warn you, all of you, this one time--it's really NOT a good idea to insult or challenge a God or Goddess." He glanced at Aphrodite with a pleading look in his eyes. "Especially the one that has domain over the love you receive in your life."

"You need to listen to your own advice, Alexander," Aphrodite said, while running her fingers through Spike's hair. "I know who I want you with. It's going to be near impossible to convince me otherwise. But, I promised I wouldn't interfere and I haven't. Still, if you would just listen to me, you would get the love of your life so much quicker."

"Just drop it, please. I decide who I love, Dite, not you. We made a deal," Xander sighed.

"Xander," Giles interrupted, cautiously. "Perhaps you could explain to us how it is you are on such...err...terms with the Goddess of Love."

"Go on kid. Thought you were going to tell them all of this when you got back here," Cage encouraged him.

"Yeah Whelp. 'Bout time all this was out in the open so we can get some things straight," Spike agreed.

The rest of the Scoobies took seats at the table across from them. Riley and Anya were still speechless. Giles and Willow were eyeing them cautiously, while Buffy was glaring daggers after removing the gag. Tara was blushing but smiling at them.

"Help out a demi-god and his family decides to take an interest in you," Xander hedged.

"Xander," Buffy growled.

"My Champion managed to accomplish in four months what none of you have even attempted in four and a half years," a male voice growled.

"Oh, this just keeps getting better," Xander grumbled. Cage, Spike, and Aphrodite all snickered at him. "Well, come on then. Make with the big impressive entrance Ares."

"ARES!" Giles and Anya paled.

"Its not so impressive if they're expecting it," complained the male that appeared.

"That was the point. I don't think Giles would have appreciated having all of his irreplaceable books scorched by your fireworks."

"Fine, take away all of my fun. Kids today have no appreciation for dramatics. Spike! Cage! How are my boys?"

Spike and Cage nodded to the God. The rest of the Scoobies were busy taking in the man that had appeared. He had long black hair pulled back with a leather thong and a black goatee. He wore black leather knee-high boots, pants, vest, and bracers on each wrist. His eyes were such a dark brown they appeared black as he surveyed the room.

"Geesh. How many cows had to die for that outfit? Overkill much?" Buffy sneered.

"BUFFY!" Giles admonished.

"What Giles? You don't really believe they are actually Greek Gods do you? Come on! Why would Gods be all buddy-buddy with Xander? And he just called Xander his champion. Xander is not a champion; he's just Xander. I'm the Slayer, that makes me a Champion. Xander is NOT a champion, especially not for the God of War! Just what in the hell could XANDER do in a few months that WE couldn't do in years? Not to mention they're being all friendly with Spike, that alone means they can't be trusted." Buffy nodded to herself.

Cage, Spike, Ares, and Aphrodite all growled at the girl. The other Scoobies looked confused exchanging nervous glances. Xander slipped further down in his seat, like he was trying to disappear. Aphrodite saw this and moved to his side.

"Oh, Alexander, sweetie. Don't listen to her. I can't believe you would call her friend, but that's your choice. You know who you are."

"She's right Dite. I'm not a Champion," Xander whispered, then in a stronger voice, "Ares, I told you I didn't want to be your Champion. I'm not going to be some puppet for the powers. They jerk Buffy around all the time, hell, they jerk Angel around just as much now. I'm not going to be a puppet."

"How many times do we have to go over this," Ares growled. "You don't get a choice. I chose you. You're my Champion, just like Cage and Spike are my Generals. You're not bloody puppets like the Slayer and that souled vampire. I...we...are higher up than those pansy ass powers that keep meddling in their business. The Slayer and Vampire are grunt soldiers compared to the commanding Generals that the three of you are. Technically, I can make you her boss," Ares added with a smirk.

"WHAT?!" Buffy shouted.

"Ares, please don't make things worse. Last time we had this discussion, you said you wouldn't bring it up again unless there was no way around it. What's going on?" Xander asked.

"Nothing new for you. Your military screwed up again, and the Hellmouth is about to become ground zero," Ares said with a shrug.

Xander and Riley groaned. "I thought you were supposed to be all powerful with the military. Why'd you let them screw up so bad?"

"I had to get my Champion didn't I?" Ares grinned, unrepentantly.

"What?! You asshole! How many people are going to die now just because you wanted me to accept being your Champion? What have you done?" Xander growled.

"That's why I want you as my Champion. All that fire and passion," Ares shivered. "I haven't done anything. I honestly couldn't stop it. We have rules we have to follow you know. I wasn't allowed to take direct action in this until the planet was in jeopardy. It's in jeopardy now."

"What's going on?" Xander groused.

"Get comfortable, this is going to take a little while. Watcher, you might want to grab a notebook, see if you can find some information in all of those books of yours. I can tell you the basics, but we have rules. I can't tell you what actions to take; you have to make those decisions. Freewill and all of that bullshit."

"Oh. Yes. Certainly." Giles rushed to grab a notebook and pen, and settled back down.

"You can't be serious, Giles," Buffy whined.

"It's not going to hurt to hear them out," Willow whispered.

"They have massive power Buffy. I've never felt anything like it. Even if they aren't who they say they are, you don't want to make them angry," Tara added. Anya nodded in agreement.

"I'm the Slayer," Buffy hissed. "I can take them out if I have to. That's what I do."

"Buffy, please stop," Xander begged. "Whether you believe him or not. Don't make him do something you will regret."

Buffy glared at Xander, but didn't say anything else.

"Xander's right Slayer. Keep that tongue in your head, and you might walk out of here in one piece," Ares said coolly. "Now, we'll start at the beginning. We, what you call the Greek Pantheon, have been here since the beginning of this world. MANY thousands of years ago a new race of beings appeared from the stars. You're people now call them the Ancients. We and the Ancients shared this world for several millenia. They helped us rid this world of the true demons, so that mankind could flourish. "

"But..." Giles began.

"I know this goes against what you have been told, but this is how it truly happened," Ares stopped the interruption. "Now, as I was saying, mankind was allowed to flourish, with the Ancients often breeding with humans. After a time, another race from the stars discovered Earth. These beings were called the Goa'uld. The Goa'uld are a parasitic race that invade a hosts body and just takes over. Unlike vampires, the host is aware of everything their body does, but unable to do anything about it."

"Oh my," gasped Tara. "That's horrible."

"They're evil, nasty little snakes with delusions of Godhood and will destroy anyone that will not worship them," Aphrodite added.

"When the first arrived, we didn't think much of it. It was only one. We thought it was merely an Unas that had gotten lucky. We were wrong. That one took control of a human host. He became known as Ra. Ra left, then returned with hundreds of Unas, all possessed by Goa'uld. Those soon took control of more humans. They erupted like a plague. With a human brain they were able to figure out the technology left by the Ancients on other planets. They used this stolen technology to appear as Gods to the primitive peoples of this world. Most of the legends of the Egyptian Gods are based on these Goa'uld as well as many other God legends. They imprisoned thousands of humans and transported them to seed other worlds for a source of host bodies and to work in mines digging for a heavy metal to power their technology."

"What happened to them?" Xander asked, afraid he already knew the answer.

"By this time, the Ancients on this planet were being destroyed by a plague. They were not strong enough to rid the planet of the Goa'uld," Ares continued. "We asked for assistance from another race that has become associated with the Norse Gods, they are called the Asgard, and from another race called the Nox to aid us. These four races: the Nox, the Ancients, the Asgard, and us...the Furlings as we were called then, had spent thousands of years creating an alliance. However, part of that alliance was for non-interference with indigenous species. Which is the only reason the Goa'uld were ever allowed to survive in the first place."

"But, you say you're Gods. Why didn't you just wipe the Goa'uld out?" Riley asked.

"Furlings," Buffy snickered.

"There was no Greece at the time," Aphrodite bit out.

"We are bound by the rules of even higher powers. We, the Furlings, have not been allowed to act directly on this planet since we rid it of the true demons. We have been allowed to influence, but not act directly so that humans could evolve on their own. Since we could not receive help from our allies, we influenced the people. That influence resulted in the creation of the first Slayer. She led an army against the Goa'uld and drove them from this planet."

"Fascinating," Giles breathed. "But what of the Slayer legend we know? The creation of the first vampire and the Slayer driving the last demon through the portal?"

"The creation of the vampires is correct. Only we were driving the demon through the portal when it attacked a human that was caught in the battle. The portal in the legend of the Slayer that you know is referring to the Astria Porta, or Star Door. It was a stone ring the Ancients used to create a portal that allowed them to travel from one world to another. Ra first came to Earth through an Astria Porta on his home world."

"Fascinating," Willow sighed. "The Ancients--they're the Atlanteans aren't they?"

Ares nodded.

Buffy snorted and rolled her eyes.

Aphrodite looked around the room in amusement. "What, no "aliens are real!" outbursts?"

"We live on the mouth to hell Dite. Aliens aren't that hard to believe in," Xander smirked. "Ok. We got the history lesson. What does that have to do with us now?"

"Focused. I like that in my Champions," Ares smirked. Xander rolled his eyes. "Fine. When the last of the Goa'uld were driven from the planet, the Astria Porta was buried. An archaeology dig in 1928 in Giza uncovered an Astria Porta. Nobody knew how it worked until a few years ago. The US Air Force acquired the Astria Porta, they call it a Stargate now and the Goa'uld call it the Chappa'ai. Anyway, the Air Force got it to work and went into the great beyond. First trip out they encountered the Goa'uld."

"And they just kept going back out, meeting these Gold dudes over and over. Now the Golds are gunning for Earth again. Right?" Xander growled.

"They've gunned for Earth several times now. The military has been able to handle them so far. But that's changed. They aren't fighting a typical Goa'uld this time," Aphrodite said.

"What's different this time?" Spike asked.

"Anubis tried to Ascend, become a higher being. If he had succeeded he would be the equivalent of one of the Powers controlling the Slayer destiny now. He wasn't allowed to Ascend. Now he's stuck in this flux where he isn't Goa'uld or Ascended," Aphrodite explained.

"So, what's so bad about him?" Cage asked.

"This is where the military screwed up again," Ares began. "One of the soldiers that was part of the whole cock-up here was placed in the Stargate program. His first trip out he gets captured. Anubis has a device that lets him probe minds. The guys whole life got downloaded for Anubis to review, and he found out about demons and the Hellmouth. He's on his way here now."

"Fuck!" Xander, Riley, Spike, and Cage all exclaimed.

"You said it was Air Force. The guys here were Marines. That just proves you don't know what you're talking about," Buffy said, snidely.

"Buffy, the Initiative wasn't just Marines. In highly classified projects they can pull soldiers from all the different branches of service. Something this classified isn't going to matter what branch you're in, its how good you are," Riley explained.

Buffy deflated a little.

"Mr...Mr. Ares, sir," Riley began. "Do you know the name of the soldier that was captured?"

"Miller. He was retrieved. He's got a head on his shoulders though. Soon as they got him back he put in the call to have the Stargate heads briefed on Sunnydale. They should be arriving here soon."

"Oh that's just bleedin' prefect. Even more soldier boys messing around on the Hellmouth. And we're going to have some power hungry alien running around doing Gods knows what, but you know its not gonna be good," Spike griped.

"Which is why I need my Champion and his Generals in place before they get here. We've seen that the military can't handle things here," Ares said, looking at Xander.

"What are we really looking at?" Xander sighed. "Just one powerful alien or something more."

"He has an army, hundreds if not thousands of Kull Warriors. Genetically engineered to follow Anubis. None of the weapons at the disposal of the military have been able to harm them yet."

Xander released a weary sigh. "Alright. Let's get some more food and drinks in here, I have a feeling its going to be an all nighter. Tell me all you know, then I'll start making some calls."

As the others stood to gather provisions for the night, Buffy grabbed her purse and left the Magic Box.



A/N: Hecate* I am going with the belief that Hecate is a Titan and the only one not to be banished because she helped Zeus when he battled the Titans. I'm going to follow the Hercules:TLJ belief that Aphrodite is a daughter of Zeus, half-sister to Ares and Hercules.

A/N2: I know there's a whole heck of a lot of back story I didn't cover. Hehe, I'm just evil that way. It will all be explained as the story goes along.