www.cupidsarrow.com
www.cupidsarrow.com
by Whisper
Summary: Buffy and Spike meet through an online dating site. All human.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and 20th century FOX, I merely borrow them for flights of fancy. Cupids Arrow is a fictitious dating site, made up for the purposes of this story.
Chapter 1: The Profiles
It was a typical Saturday night for Spike, sitting at his favorite bar with his favorite alcoholic beverage and his favorite drinking buddy at his side. The bar had it’s usual mix of people, the group of girls acting too good to pay attention to anyone but themselves, the men who acted too cool to care about anyone but themselves, the girls that went and chatted with the men just to get a free drink, and the men at the bar who didn’t care. Spike was bored. Sure he meets women here and has his one night stands but that never seems to satisfy him. The girls are always the same. The next morning they always, without fail, either blame the alcohol and say they “never do this, “ which Spike knows is almost always a lie, or they seem to expect something more out of him. Spike always hates the latter more, just because he always feels a touch of guilt, feeling that maybe he led them on in some way. Bar girls just never seem to hold his interest longer than a single night, except for Faith who had been his “fuck-buddy” for a few weeks now.
“You alright there, man? Hellooooo… Earth to Spike!” Xander nudged his friend.
Spike looked up from the ice swirling in his Jack Daniels. “Wha’?”
“You’re just way too serious there. We’re supposed to be having fun! You’re not moping about Drusilla again are you? Cuz, that’s getting pretty old, hate to tell you.”
Spike half smiled half scowled at his longtime friend. Drusilla was a long term relationship that ended rather badly a couple months ago. “Nah, mate. Think I might be finally over the bird.”
“Yes!! About time!” Spike ignored this.
“It’s just… I don’t know… the bar scene just isn’t really cutting it anymore for me.”
“You mean to hook up with girls? And that couldn’t possibly be that you’ve practically slept with every woman here already?”
Spike looked offended. “I have not!” He looks around the bar and grimaces. “Okay maybe a fair share of them I have.”
“Have you ever thought of trying online dating?”
Spike scoffs. “Yeah, do I really look desperate or loserish to you?”
“Seriously! It’s not like you think. You know I never told you this, but that’s how Anya and I met.”
“Bollocks! You told me you met her through a friend at work.” Spike narrowed his eyes at his friend.
Xander laughed. “I know. It was just a little strange to tell people how we actually met.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell your best friend that you’ve known since fifth grade the truth! Fifth grade! You’d think that’d garner a certain level of trust.”
“Not enough, apparently.” Xander replied sarcastically.
“Hey, watch it, mate, or you’ll be walking home!”
“Uh, Spike. We walked to get here, so really not much of a threat.” Xander laughed. “But really, man, you should check it out. The site Anya and I met on was Cupids Arrow. I know it’s an incredibly cheesy name but it is one of the best online personals I’ve found.”
“I’m not really looking for anything long term though. Isn’t that what most of the birds on those sites are looking for?”
“Sure, some of them are, but there are also quite a few that are just looking to date and have a good time.”
Spike was about to respond when his cell started to vibrate. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket to find out he had a text message from Faith.
Spike smirked and showed Xander the phone. “Ahh, duty calls, mate.”
Xander shook his head. “I don’t know why you are still with that girl.”
Spike shot his friend a look. “I’m not in it for her conversation skills. She’s a bloody amazin’ shag with no strings.”
Xander indicated the phone. “That’s no strings?”
Spike laughed. “It’s the bloody dinner bell.” He grabbed his coat and headed to Faith’s apartment.
Xander shook his head sadly as his friend left. “One day, that relationship is going to bite him in the ass.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few days later, Spike sat at his computer, his curiosity finally getting the better of him, and decided to just take a peak at what Cupids Arrow had to offer. He was actually pleasantly surprised. There were quite a few women in the Sunnydale area listed and many of them were quite attractive. Intrigued even more, he narrowed down his search some more and continued to browse profiles until he came across a golden beauty with emerald eyes.
“’Lo, Luv. What a pretty thing like you doing on here?” He clicked on her profile.
Spike chuckled. “Can’t argue that one.”
Spike snorted. “Buffy? She can’t be serious.”
Age: 23
Marital Status: Single- never married
Smoking: Doesn’t smoke
Drinking: Social drinker
Living Situation: With roommates, Family/Friends visit often
In Her Own Words:
The dreaded “about me” section. I know this section is supposed to be everyones chance to really sparkle but I hate writing about myself. You either come across too modest or incredibly conceited. So I’ll just try for honesty. I’m independent, tough, and sassy despite what the blonde hair will tell you and I’m constantly looking for new challenges. Feel up to it? Want to know more? Drop me a line.
Spike clicked on her picture to see if she had any others posted. He wasn’t disappointed. One was of her at the beach laughing at something the camera person must have said, another was her and couple friends at a bar, and the final one was a posed one with a brunette companion that looked like it could be a younger sister. Spike kept going back to the beach picture, admiring her scantily clad figure.
After a few moments, Spike decided that he wanted to try to get this girl to talk to him, so he filled out a profile. He knew he had to email her something but was having a hard time thinking up anything that wouldn’t just be casually tossed aside. After a few moment deliberation, he felt satisfied that the email he sent would be attention grabbing enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy had a headache. It was close to prom and she was tired of students coming to her office to talk about how depressed they are that a certain someone hadn’t asked them to go. She felt like just yelling how much she didn’t care. She was wishing for something more substantial to talk about. She was thankful at least that the students had finally stopped hitting on her… most of them anyway.
She was rubbing her temples, trying to will away the headache, when the schools receptionist voice came over the intercom. “Miss Summers? Willow is on line 2 for you.”
“Thanks Natalie.” Buffy picked up the phone and pushed the button for line two. “Hey Wills, how’s it going?”
“Great. Tara and I spent the day at the fair. Fun was had by all.”
“That’s great, Will.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, semiannual big dance headache.”
“Yuck.”
“Tell me about it.” Buffy sighed.
“I won’t keep you then. I’m staying at Tara’s tonight and rent’s due tomorrow. My checks on the fridge if you wouldn’t mind dropping it off.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“Cool, thanks. Well good luck and Buffy?”
“Yeah?”
“Try not to kill any of them.”
Buffy laughed. “Thanks. I’ll try to remember that.”
“That a girl! Talk to you later.”
“Yep. Have a goodnight over at Tara’s.”
Buffy hung up the phone and checked the clock. “3 more hours? Could the clock move any slower?”
While she had a few minutes downtime, she decided to check her e-mail to see if she had any interesting mail or if it was all spam. After she logged in, she noticed that she had a few items filtered to her “Personals” folder. She had been signed up at Cupids Arrow for a few months and enjoyed the ego stroke she got from men e-mailing her, telling her how beautiful she is. She had yet to respond to any of them. She was starting to get tired of it, though. All the e-mails start to sound the same and it was almost boring to read them now. She clicked on the folder to delete the new messages when one subject line caught her eye.
Buffy wasn’t really sure why she went ahead and clicked to open it, but she did.
And I lost my leg in a “hilarious” motorcycle accident.
We’d be perfect together.”
“What the hell? This is what this guy chose to write?” She was going to delete it when she accidentally clicked the link back to his profile. She was mesmerized immediately by the deep blue eyes staring back at her from the screen.
Once she broke from her trance, her first thought was “what is wrong with his hair?!” He was beautiful though, despite the platinum blonde hair. The more she looked at his picture, the more she liked the hair. It was just an upper body shot. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a leather jacket and was smirking very sexily at the camera.
“Where did you come from? I didn’t think they made these here.” Buffy mumbled as she browsed through the rest of his profile.
“What’s up with this ‘Big Bad’ stuff?”
“Spike? And they say my name is funny.”
Age: 28
Marital Status: Single- never married
Living Situation: Alone
Smoking: Smokes often
“Ugh… he’s a smoker.”
In His Own Words:
I don’t care if I sound conceited, so here goes. I’ll be the one you’ll never forget. I’m dead sexy, funny, amazing in the sack, and more intelligent than what the blonde hair might suggest. Come on. You know you wanna dance.
Buffy rolled her eyes at the blatant spin of her own profile. “He can’t even write an original paragraph.”
She was about to close the window when she caught herself staring at his picture again. “I wonder if he really does only have one leg?” She clicked on his picture to see more but to her disappointment there was only one more and it was another waist up shot. He was shirtless in this picture and Buffy had to practically wipe the drool from her chin. He was gorgeous in an almost-too-skinny-but-very-nicely-chiseled way. She decided to go ahead and respond to his e-mail to see what happens.
Right as soon as she clicked “send” a young girl came crying into her office.
“Daniel”…sob… “asked someone” …hiccup… “else to the”…sob… “prom”…wail.
‘Here we go again’ Buffy thought.
A/N: This was an idea that recently popped into my head. let me know if this is of any interest to anyone.