La Femme Spander
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,463
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,463
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Part One
Title: La Femme Spander
Authors: Farah & Mera
Pairing: X/S eventually
Rating: If you think you're R-enough to handle it. It might not get that way, might stay the cute-kitty/fluffy-puppy fic, but just to be safe read the notes.
Spoilers: BtVS S6,
Feedback: Yes please, please! You so don't wanna see us beg… so review and Feed the striving Authors… please?
Mera: lusciousspike@yahoo.com
Farah: lusciousxander@yahoo.com
Summery: Spike and Xander get to see how the other half live! What other half you say? Well you gotta read to find that out *g*
Disclaimer: they belong to Joss and Co., etc. We borrowed Spike & Xander and dammit we’ll take our time!!
Distribution: Island Library, TWWOM.. You want it? No way!!! Sure you can, if you don’t we’ll let you meet our Ripper. Just tell us first.
Author (Mera) note: *gasp* Oh my! Another one! Will this madness never end? *giggle* okay notes of this fic … actually this fic is a reply to a challenge I made that a lot liked but *pout* none wrote!
Challenge: Okay… so I was watching BtVS S6 Entropy and I got to wondering, is there a story out there where Halfrek doesn't interrupt Anya's interesting chain of thoughts and Anya carries through her plan… finding someone to wish Spike a woman. Of course, then something goes wrong and he stays that way. Unfortunately for Anya he ends up with Xander!! Also, it would be great if afterwards he goes back to being the hunk of man we all love.
*blush* we kinda didn't follow my challenge to the dot… which you will see.
2. Okay to make this easier to understand both Spike and Xander are going to be addressed as 'he' and 'him' and so on.
Italics & *& capitals = emphasize
~ = thoughts
Thanks goes out to Ebony for the quick beta!
La Femme Spander
Part One
The Magic Box
"They're all, 'oh, poor Xander! It took so much out of him, all that running away he did.' I just don't understand what's wrong with these people."
"Did you really think they were the ones who would help you?" Halfrek asked her distressed friend.
"Well, but…" Anya started.
"Do you want retribution, Anyanka?"
"I want Xander good and cursed," Anya said firmly in anger.
"Then you know what you have to do."
"Get a wish from someone who doesn't freaking love him," she spat.
"Exactly." The justice demon nodded.
"Yeah, but my social circle is a little limited here. What am I supposed to do, just stumble upon someone who doesn't give a fig's ass if Xander gets hurt?"
Halfrek looked, blinking, at her. Anya placed her hand on her cheek thinking. She jerked up gasping.
"Oh my God. Spike *hates* Xander. Maybe I could get him to wish ... dammit, if only he were a woman." She returns to her thinking position before jumping up again excited. "Got it! If I can somehow get someone to wish that Spike were a woman, then I could go to him… well, he'd be a her by then… then I could go to her…"
Halfrek shook her head at her demented friend.
~ Anyanka has this whole female-power, Take Back the Night thing, that's cute. But she always forgets what I've been telling her decades … men need a little vengeance now and then, too. Oh well let her try her hard way… I'm thinking there's a lot of fun down the line. ~
She smiled and stood up, "Good luck with that. Ta-ta!" and vanished.
Anya stood up. She had to find a person willing to make a wish on Spike.
******
"Harmony!" The blond vampire looked up from her squirming prey. She frowned which looked strange on her vampire face.
"You!" she said recognizing her addresser. She let go of her prey as she approached and the young man scrambled away not even pausing a second to look behind him
"Ugggh! Look what you did!" she screeched. "I wanted to turn him… he looked like Orlando Bloom!"
Anya shrugged. "I think Johnny Depp is more attractive."
Harmony reverted into human features. "True… but I couldn't find anyone… Hey!" She glared. "Why are we having a conversation? You're dating Xander the dweeb!"
"Xander isn't…!" Anya started indignantly before she remembered why she was here in the first place. She huffed. "Well you're one to talk… getting dumped by a chipped vampire!"
The blond vampire placed her hands on her hips. "I'll let you know… *I* broke up with him!"
"Really? Well the way I heard it, is that he left you because he wanted the slayer."
Harmony's eyes widened and she pouted. "Can you believe it? My little booboo was willing to kill his Drood-zilla over the skinny Buffy… I was there! Did he even think of staking me?! Noooo! It's all 'My dark princess this… My salvation that'. Weeping over his precious Dorkus."
Anya nodded faking sympathy. "And that hurt you… after all you did for him… didn't it?"
Harmony wiped a tear and sat on a wooden crate in the dark ally and nodded sniffling.
Anya took several steps closer. "You wanted him to suffer… you wanted him to know how it felt… how hard it was?"
The sniffling vampire nodded furiously. "Yeah! I wish he knew how hard it was to be a vampire and a woman! I mean my tan lines alone…" She stopped with a gasp.
In front of her Anya's visage changed into her demon look. Anyanka smiled evilly. "Done!"
******
"What the bloody hell?!!"
"Hello Spike!"
Spike turned to glare Anya who materialized in his crypt with a grin on her now human face.
He pointed an accusing finger at her. "You did this to me, demon girl." He gestured to himself then looked venomously at her. "Turn me back, now! Or you'll see first hand how my chip doesn't work on you," he growled.
Anya blinked at Spike. "You can’t kill me… I didn't cast my vengeance on Xander yet!"
Spike was pulled short. "What does Harris have to do with me?"
Anya waved her hands explaining, "Well I tried to get his friends to make a wish on him… but they take the 'friend' thing way too seriously! So I needed someone to make a wish… and you hate Xander… no annoying friend no wishes there… but there was the inconvenience of you being a man… so I had Harmony… who's still bitter over her booboo… what's with that nickname anyway? And she wished you to be all female vampy… now I need you to wish something nasty on Xander… so you can't kill me!"
Spike blinked. "Harmony is the reason I'm a chick? And the reason Harmony wished me with a set of knockers is that you need me to make a wish on your ex?"
Anya nodded. "Yes. So can you make one please… a really creative one! I haven’t done one in ages!" She grinned happily.
Spike's eyes flashed gold. "Bloody hell! You are the worse nut case I've met and I knew many!! Fucking Harris should be a fucking bint not me!"
The second ago, peppy woman stood silent for a moment before shrugging. "Okay."
Spike opened his mouth to yell again but frowned. "Huh?"
Anya pouted. "It's not really creative since I did it like just now… but hey it is your wish."
The vampire shook his head trying to shake his building headache. "I didn't make a wish yet."
"Yes you did!" She nodded with a wide smile. "You said that Xander should be a girl."
"Well I bloody hell didn't use the word wish!"
Anya waved her hand. "Merely a technicality. Your wish was done I'm lenient that way."
Spike gaped and looked down at himself. "Then where the fuck is my dick?!"
The vengeance demon gasped, placing her hand on her chest. "I can't reverse Harmony's wish without her consent! I'll lose my powers!"
She sighed sadly and looked at Spike. "You make an attractive woman Spike. I do regret not having sex with you when you had a penis… I hear vampire stamina is really good! Oh well…thanks… bye!"
She vanished.
"Bugger."
******
"Oh My God! What the hell happened to me!?"
Authors: Farah & Mera
Pairing: X/S eventually
Rating: If you think you're R-enough to handle it. It might not get that way, might stay the cute-kitty/fluffy-puppy fic, but just to be safe read the notes.
Spoilers: BtVS S6,
Feedback: Yes please, please! You so don't wanna see us beg… so review and Feed the striving Authors… please?
Mera: lusciousspike@yahoo.com
Farah: lusciousxander@yahoo.com
Summery: Spike and Xander get to see how the other half live! What other half you say? Well you gotta read to find that out *g*
Disclaimer: they belong to Joss and Co., etc. We borrowed Spike & Xander and dammit we’ll take our time!!
Distribution: Island Library, TWWOM.. You want it? No way!!! Sure you can, if you don’t we’ll let you meet our Ripper. Just tell us first.
Author (Mera) note: *gasp* Oh my! Another one! Will this madness never end? *giggle* okay notes of this fic … actually this fic is a reply to a challenge I made that a lot liked but *pout* none wrote!
Challenge: Okay… so I was watching BtVS S6 Entropy and I got to wondering, is there a story out there where Halfrek doesn't interrupt Anya's interesting chain of thoughts and Anya carries through her plan… finding someone to wish Spike a woman. Of course, then something goes wrong and he stays that way. Unfortunately for Anya he ends up with Xander!! Also, it would be great if afterwards he goes back to being the hunk of man we all love.
*blush* we kinda didn't follow my challenge to the dot… which you will see.
2. Okay to make this easier to understand both Spike and Xander are going to be addressed as 'he' and 'him' and so on.
Italics & *& capitals = emphasize
~ = thoughts
Thanks goes out to Ebony for the quick beta!
La Femme Spander
Part One
The Magic Box
"They're all, 'oh, poor Xander! It took so much out of him, all that running away he did.' I just don't understand what's wrong with these people."
"Did you really think they were the ones who would help you?" Halfrek asked her distressed friend.
"Well, but…" Anya started.
"Do you want retribution, Anyanka?"
"I want Xander good and cursed," Anya said firmly in anger.
"Then you know what you have to do."
"Get a wish from someone who doesn't freaking love him," she spat.
"Exactly." The justice demon nodded.
"Yeah, but my social circle is a little limited here. What am I supposed to do, just stumble upon someone who doesn't give a fig's ass if Xander gets hurt?"
Halfrek looked, blinking, at her. Anya placed her hand on her cheek thinking. She jerked up gasping.
"Oh my God. Spike *hates* Xander. Maybe I could get him to wish ... dammit, if only he were a woman." She returns to her thinking position before jumping up again excited. "Got it! If I can somehow get someone to wish that Spike were a woman, then I could go to him… well, he'd be a her by then… then I could go to her…"
Halfrek shook her head at her demented friend.
~ Anyanka has this whole female-power, Take Back the Night thing, that's cute. But she always forgets what I've been telling her decades … men need a little vengeance now and then, too. Oh well let her try her hard way… I'm thinking there's a lot of fun down the line. ~
She smiled and stood up, "Good luck with that. Ta-ta!" and vanished.
Anya stood up. She had to find a person willing to make a wish on Spike.
******
"Harmony!" The blond vampire looked up from her squirming prey. She frowned which looked strange on her vampire face.
"You!" she said recognizing her addresser. She let go of her prey as she approached and the young man scrambled away not even pausing a second to look behind him
"Ugggh! Look what you did!" she screeched. "I wanted to turn him… he looked like Orlando Bloom!"
Anya shrugged. "I think Johnny Depp is more attractive."
Harmony reverted into human features. "True… but I couldn't find anyone… Hey!" She glared. "Why are we having a conversation? You're dating Xander the dweeb!"
"Xander isn't…!" Anya started indignantly before she remembered why she was here in the first place. She huffed. "Well you're one to talk… getting dumped by a chipped vampire!"
The blond vampire placed her hands on her hips. "I'll let you know… *I* broke up with him!"
"Really? Well the way I heard it, is that he left you because he wanted the slayer."
Harmony's eyes widened and she pouted. "Can you believe it? My little booboo was willing to kill his Drood-zilla over the skinny Buffy… I was there! Did he even think of staking me?! Noooo! It's all 'My dark princess this… My salvation that'. Weeping over his precious Dorkus."
Anya nodded faking sympathy. "And that hurt you… after all you did for him… didn't it?"
Harmony wiped a tear and sat on a wooden crate in the dark ally and nodded sniffling.
Anya took several steps closer. "You wanted him to suffer… you wanted him to know how it felt… how hard it was?"
The sniffling vampire nodded furiously. "Yeah! I wish he knew how hard it was to be a vampire and a woman! I mean my tan lines alone…" She stopped with a gasp.
In front of her Anya's visage changed into her demon look. Anyanka smiled evilly. "Done!"
******
"What the bloody hell?!!"
"Hello Spike!"
Spike turned to glare Anya who materialized in his crypt with a grin on her now human face.
He pointed an accusing finger at her. "You did this to me, demon girl." He gestured to himself then looked venomously at her. "Turn me back, now! Or you'll see first hand how my chip doesn't work on you," he growled.
Anya blinked at Spike. "You can’t kill me… I didn't cast my vengeance on Xander yet!"
Spike was pulled short. "What does Harris have to do with me?"
Anya waved her hands explaining, "Well I tried to get his friends to make a wish on him… but they take the 'friend' thing way too seriously! So I needed someone to make a wish… and you hate Xander… no annoying friend no wishes there… but there was the inconvenience of you being a man… so I had Harmony… who's still bitter over her booboo… what's with that nickname anyway? And she wished you to be all female vampy… now I need you to wish something nasty on Xander… so you can't kill me!"
Spike blinked. "Harmony is the reason I'm a chick? And the reason Harmony wished me with a set of knockers is that you need me to make a wish on your ex?"
Anya nodded. "Yes. So can you make one please… a really creative one! I haven’t done one in ages!" She grinned happily.
Spike's eyes flashed gold. "Bloody hell! You are the worse nut case I've met and I knew many!! Fucking Harris should be a fucking bint not me!"
The second ago, peppy woman stood silent for a moment before shrugging. "Okay."
Spike opened his mouth to yell again but frowned. "Huh?"
Anya pouted. "It's not really creative since I did it like just now… but hey it is your wish."
The vampire shook his head trying to shake his building headache. "I didn't make a wish yet."
"Yes you did!" She nodded with a wide smile. "You said that Xander should be a girl."
"Well I bloody hell didn't use the word wish!"
Anya waved her hand. "Merely a technicality. Your wish was done I'm lenient that way."
Spike gaped and looked down at himself. "Then where the fuck is my dick?!"
The vengeance demon gasped, placing her hand on her chest. "I can't reverse Harmony's wish without her consent! I'll lose my powers!"
She sighed sadly and looked at Spike. "You make an attractive woman Spike. I do regret not having sex with you when you had a penis… I hear vampire stamina is really good! Oh well…thanks… bye!"
She vanished.
"Bugger."
******
"Oh My God! What the hell happened to me!?"