I Know It's Wrong

I know it’s wrong. I knew it from the moment it began and yet I still couldn’t help myself. Can you blame me? The way she looks, so innocent and pure, so young. It started off innocently, she would come over, pretending to look for Buffy, but she knew she wasn’t home. At first I felt sorry for her, I thought she just needed a mother’s influence, she was obviously lacking any real stability. So, I provided, like the good person I try to be. I was shocked the first time she kissed me, I pushed her away of course, explaining to her that it wasn’t right, it wasn’t appropriate; telling myself I didn’t feel aroused by her, telling myself that it was wrong. I actually believed that she would let it go, that she would take no for an answer; I was mistaken.

The first time she came she called me mommy, I knew then that I had made a huge mistake. I questioned her about it after, she just told me it was nothing and buried her head into my side. I let it slide then, making a mental note not to, to make sure to ask her about it. Weeks later she revealed the truth to me, how her mother used to touch her this way, how she enjoyed it, how good it felt and how different it was than the way he used to touch her. I know I’m no worse than her mother, than the countless men and women that have taken advantage of her, but as she puts her fingers inside me, I can’t seem to care. Yet, I know it’s wrong.