Damned With You
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
20
Views:
7,105
Reviews:
10
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
20
Views:
7,105
Reviews:
10
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Damned With You
When I asked what Darkhavens wanted for a birthday fic six months ago, it was for Spike to take a newly vamped Xander to Angel to be welcomed into the family.
Well I have that weird!vamp!Verse running around, but it’s with Angelus and is a bit too dark. I still have my Forevermore!verse vamps running around, but I have plans for them that don’t include Angel. Well they do but they don’t include sex.
So for Spike to have a vamp!Xander, I had to kill him. Awful I know. But remember that I am a big sap who loves happy endings so don’t cry too much, okay? Yes, I’m a big wussies for giving this much of a spoiler but I hate it when I start reading a fic and then get hit between the eyes with character death with no hope. Well, not if it’s Riley or someone annoying like Andrew, but Spike or Xander? I’ll cry. So don’t cry, I’ll fix it, promise!
On with the fic!
Author: amejisuto
Chapter: One
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC17
Feedback: Please
Concrit: by email, please
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Character death, bloodplay, mild daddy!kink
Summary: Xander is hurt terribly while on site.
Notes: This is darkhavens’s birthday present from me. This is a follow up to Everlasting Love which can be found here: http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/story.php?no=544178915.
Many thanks to kitty_poker1 for the great beta and both her and suki_blue for the encouragement.
Also I started this fic before the big issue with Living Wills and all that mess down in Florida became an issue here in the States so this fic does not contain any political issues hidden in the plot, just plot.
Damned With You.
But with any other beat I got left in my heart
You know I’d rather be damned with you
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned
Dancing through the night with you
~ Meat Loaf Bat Out of Hell
Spike let himself into his, no, their, apartment. The door swung shut on its own behind him, the sound of it shutting echoing oddly through the empty rooms. He fought the urge to scream, to break everything in sight.
This had been his home for the past two months. He could still remember sitting on one end of the couch and wondering what was going on in his then friend’s head as Xander laughed and then asked him if he liked the human. The bed that they shared was just in the other room, and he could still smell the scent of their release from the night before.
He knew that if he looked in the bathroom there’d still be two damp towels on the floor, and the coffee was still on in the kitchen because Xander never remembered to turn it off. Xander’s latest project, a coffee table, sat in one corner of the living room, tarps laid down on the floor to protect it.
Everything in the apartment was just waiting for Xander to come back, down to the fact that his lover had set the VCR to tape something during the day.
But Xander wasn’t coming back.
Every time he thought about what he'd been told he wanted to growl. Xander had survived hell gods, demon mayors, even Angelus hating the boy with a passion. Spike had even tried to kill his boy once or twice but hadn’t been able to. But one idiot on site had gotten drunk and lit a cigarette near a gas line.
In a way, Xander was lucky. He had been far enough away from the blast to escape being engulfed in the fireball. But the debris from the blast had knocked Xander to the ground, and even his hard hat couldn’t protect him when a wall collapsed on top of him.
Even if by some miracle he survived, Xander would be permanently paralyzed. Right now, though, he had ventilators and all sorts of machinery doing all his body’s work for him.
Spike hated it with a passion. Hated that it was torturing his boy, keeping him alive and in pain.
Buffy and Willow were both furious that he’d left Xander’s side. They didn’t know, didn’t understand. Tara and Dawn were the ones to distract the other two women to let him quickly slip out of the ICU ward and down the stairs once the sun had gone down.
It had been Tara that he’d called to take him to the hospital in the first place that afternoon before the sun went down. Now that it was May the days were longer and the sun more powerful. If it hadn’t been for her, he doubted he would have gotten to see how badly his Xander had been hurt before the sun had set.
Spike stalked to the kitchen and pulled out a lock box from one of the cabinets about the refrigerator. This was what held all of Xander’s important papers, including his living will. They hadn’t been in their relationship a full week when his lover had sat down with cards and paperwork from his company and asking to see Spike’s fake ID’s.
At the time Spike had hated it. He resented taking time away from sex and cuddling in the bed to talk about things he hated to think about. He knew very well just how fragile humans were; he’d tortured and killed enough of them to know their breaking point.
But thinking that someday Xander’s luck would run out, or that one morning he’d wake up and realize that Xander had streaks of gray in his hair, had been a terrible thing to do instead of naked fun.
Now, though, he was glad that Xander had put his foot down. His lover had a stubborn streak a mile wide and had insisted. Said that Giles had known where to find the information and then Anya. Now it was Spike’s turn.
He leaned against the bar in between the kitchen and the living room and opened the box slowly. There were several papers, insurance, lease agreements, car information and the like. But on the very top were two manila envelops, one labeled “In The Event of My Death”, and the other “In The Event That I’m Injured and Can’t Speak for Myself.”
Spike growled low in his throat just seeing them, and had to fight his true face. He wanted to go out, kill things, howl with grief. But he couldn’t. He had promised the man he loved and he wouldn’t break that promise now.
No matter how much it was killing him to do so.
He opened the second envelope, figuring he’d read that was first since technically Xander was still alive. There were letters for all of his friends, even his ex in LA and Anya and Giles in London. Surprisingly, Buffy and Tara’s were the thickest. He would have thought it would be his, or Red’s.
He opened the one that said 'Spike' in Xander’s half-printed, half-cursive script. He just about fell to the floor in grief when he remembered the hell that he had gone through one night when Xander sent him shopping. He hadn’t been able to read half the list and had finally just gone home with beer, pizza and chocolate, and then growled in frustration at the laughing human.
The thought that he would never hear that laugh again ripped a hole in his chest, right where his heart would beat if it still worked.
Well I have that weird!vamp!Verse running around, but it’s with Angelus and is a bit too dark. I still have my Forevermore!verse vamps running around, but I have plans for them that don’t include Angel. Well they do but they don’t include sex.
So for Spike to have a vamp!Xander, I had to kill him. Awful I know. But remember that I am a big sap who loves happy endings so don’t cry too much, okay? Yes, I’m a big wussies for giving this much of a spoiler but I hate it when I start reading a fic and then get hit between the eyes with character death with no hope. Well, not if it’s Riley or someone annoying like Andrew, but Spike or Xander? I’ll cry. So don’t cry, I’ll fix it, promise!
On with the fic!
Author: amejisuto
Chapter: One
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC17
Feedback: Please
Concrit: by email, please
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Character death, bloodplay, mild daddy!kink
Summary: Xander is hurt terribly while on site.
Notes: This is darkhavens’s birthday present from me. This is a follow up to Everlasting Love which can be found here: http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/story.php?no=544178915.
Many thanks to kitty_poker1 for the great beta and both her and suki_blue for the encouragement.
Also I started this fic before the big issue with Living Wills and all that mess down in Florida became an issue here in the States so this fic does not contain any political issues hidden in the plot, just plot.
Damned With You.
But with any other beat I got left in my heart
You know I’d rather be damned with you
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned
Dancing through the night with you
~ Meat Loaf Bat Out of Hell
Spike let himself into his, no, their, apartment. The door swung shut on its own behind him, the sound of it shutting echoing oddly through the empty rooms. He fought the urge to scream, to break everything in sight.
This had been his home for the past two months. He could still remember sitting on one end of the couch and wondering what was going on in his then friend’s head as Xander laughed and then asked him if he liked the human. The bed that they shared was just in the other room, and he could still smell the scent of their release from the night before.
He knew that if he looked in the bathroom there’d still be two damp towels on the floor, and the coffee was still on in the kitchen because Xander never remembered to turn it off. Xander’s latest project, a coffee table, sat in one corner of the living room, tarps laid down on the floor to protect it.
Everything in the apartment was just waiting for Xander to come back, down to the fact that his lover had set the VCR to tape something during the day.
But Xander wasn’t coming back.
Every time he thought about what he'd been told he wanted to growl. Xander had survived hell gods, demon mayors, even Angelus hating the boy with a passion. Spike had even tried to kill his boy once or twice but hadn’t been able to. But one idiot on site had gotten drunk and lit a cigarette near a gas line.
In a way, Xander was lucky. He had been far enough away from the blast to escape being engulfed in the fireball. But the debris from the blast had knocked Xander to the ground, and even his hard hat couldn’t protect him when a wall collapsed on top of him.
Even if by some miracle he survived, Xander would be permanently paralyzed. Right now, though, he had ventilators and all sorts of machinery doing all his body’s work for him.
Spike hated it with a passion. Hated that it was torturing his boy, keeping him alive and in pain.
Buffy and Willow were both furious that he’d left Xander’s side. They didn’t know, didn’t understand. Tara and Dawn were the ones to distract the other two women to let him quickly slip out of the ICU ward and down the stairs once the sun had gone down.
It had been Tara that he’d called to take him to the hospital in the first place that afternoon before the sun went down. Now that it was May the days were longer and the sun more powerful. If it hadn’t been for her, he doubted he would have gotten to see how badly his Xander had been hurt before the sun had set.
Spike stalked to the kitchen and pulled out a lock box from one of the cabinets about the refrigerator. This was what held all of Xander’s important papers, including his living will. They hadn’t been in their relationship a full week when his lover had sat down with cards and paperwork from his company and asking to see Spike’s fake ID’s.
At the time Spike had hated it. He resented taking time away from sex and cuddling in the bed to talk about things he hated to think about. He knew very well just how fragile humans were; he’d tortured and killed enough of them to know their breaking point.
But thinking that someday Xander’s luck would run out, or that one morning he’d wake up and realize that Xander had streaks of gray in his hair, had been a terrible thing to do instead of naked fun.
Now, though, he was glad that Xander had put his foot down. His lover had a stubborn streak a mile wide and had insisted. Said that Giles had known where to find the information and then Anya. Now it was Spike’s turn.
He leaned against the bar in between the kitchen and the living room and opened the box slowly. There were several papers, insurance, lease agreements, car information and the like. But on the very top were two manila envelops, one labeled “In The Event of My Death”, and the other “In The Event That I’m Injured and Can’t Speak for Myself.”
Spike growled low in his throat just seeing them, and had to fight his true face. He wanted to go out, kill things, howl with grief. But he couldn’t. He had promised the man he loved and he wouldn’t break that promise now.
No matter how much it was killing him to do so.
He opened the second envelope, figuring he’d read that was first since technically Xander was still alive. There were letters for all of his friends, even his ex in LA and Anya and Giles in London. Surprisingly, Buffy and Tara’s were the thickest. He would have thought it would be his, or Red’s.
He opened the one that said 'Spike' in Xander’s half-printed, half-cursive script. He just about fell to the floor in grief when he remembered the hell that he had gone through one night when Xander sent him shopping. He hadn’t been able to read half the list and had finally just gone home with beer, pizza and chocolate, and then growled in frustration at the laughing human.
The thought that he would never hear that laugh again ripped a hole in his chest, right where his heart would beat if it still worked.