Gone Away

Summary: This is just a songfic that I had to get out of my head so I could sleep at night. It's a trip through Faith's mind when she found out about Buffy's death.
Disclaimer: I do not own Faith, Buffy, or anything else I might have mentioned about the show. I don't own the song "Gone Away" either, that belongs to the geniouses in the band The Offspring. Basically the only thing I own is the finger's that typed this fic.

I don't know what came over me. I don't usually like to read songfics, let alone write them, but I just had to write one when I heard this song. The song is "Gone Away" by The Offspring. I absolutely love it! If you don't have it, I suggest you get it because it's awesome. This song is on two of The Offspring's CDs, it's on "Ixnay On The Hombre" (1997) and also in "The Greatest Hits" (2005)
These are Faith's thoughts when she found out that Buffy died.
Lyrics are in italics.

Gone Away

I'm laying in bed as I do every night, but this night isn't like every night. Tonight is different because I know. I know that you're not here with me anymore. You were never with me, but you're not here anymore. You're dead. I'm the only slayer now. I'm alone. If I had been smart, made the right choices, maybe things would have bee different. Maybe you could have loved me.

Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal it's so unfair

This isn't how it was supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to die. If only I had been there. If I hadn't been so stupid and gotten myself in jail, then maybe you would still be alive. I should have been there for you. It's not fair, it wasn't supposed to be like this.

And it feels
Yeah it feels like
heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
the world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away

I've always been alone, but it doesn't compare to the emptiness that I feel now . The world is empty without you. Everything feels so different now. Nothing will ever be the same without you. Everything will always feel cold and empty because you're gone.

Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
(But) black roses and hail marys
Can't bring back what's taken from me

You went away and I didn't have a chance to say I'm sorry. I know you thought I hated you, but I could never hate you. I was jelous of what you had, jelous of what you were, and jelous of everyone else for being able to be so close to you. You kept your friends so close to you, but not me, never me. I was the outsider, and everyone wanted me to be like you, but I could never be anything like you. You were too good for me, you were too perfect, and now none of that matters. Nothing I do can ever bring you back to me.

I reach to the sky
And call out your name
and if I could trade
I would

It should have been me. I should have died. I would trade places with you in a heart beat. You deserved to live. To live and be happy. You deserve everything, because you were everything that mattered in this world, and I'm nothing. It should have been me, but nothing matters now because you're gone.

And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away
Gone away, gone away...

I reach to the sky
And call out your name
oh please let me trade
I would

And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away
Gone Away, gone away...

The End