See Me

I do not claim to own any of the characters; I just like to play with them. I am but a poor office clerk without two pennies to rub together and I make NO money from writing any fanfic. So, suing me would be pretty pointless and I would cry.


This is my first post here at AFF and I thought I'd start with a little ficlette that I wrote a few months back in honour of bloodclaim's first anniversary.

This was so well received that it had many requests for a prequel and it has also just been nominated in the Sunny D awards for best quickie fic. If you like this little ficlette, I would be honoured if you come over and vote for it!

http://www.geocities.com/sunnydawards/nominees.html

Prequel coming soon!


See Me By Suki Blue


“Xander, how can you say that? We’re your friends. We love you.”

“Do you?”

“Of course! What makes you think that we don’t?”

Buffy took a step towards her friend. Xander took a giant step back.

“You don’t love me. You use me.”

“Xander, please, we’ve never used you.”

“Really? I help you. I fight for you. I’d die for you,” Xander scanned the faces of all his friends “I’d die for all of you. But what about me? None of you even see me.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I’m invisible to you. You barely even speak to me.”

“Sometimes you just make it too difficult.”

“And How’s that?”

“This whole thing with Spike…”

“This has nothing to do with Spike.”

Xander felt the vampire squeeze his hand a little bit tighter.

“Xander, you’re always with him. How can we talk to you when *he’s* with you.”

“We’re talking now. Not that difficult, Buffy. I’m here, every night, fighting by your side. So is Spike. Yet you ignore the both of us. We’re open to you, Buffy. We always have been.”

“It’s not that easy, Xander. You know what Spike did to me.”

“Yes. I know. I also know that you drove him to it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard. C’mon, Buff, get with it. Spike? Vampire? No soul? Did you really expect to be able to push him as far as you did without consequences?”

“He. Nearly. Raped me. Are you trying to justify that?”

“I am trying to make you see. You use and humiliate a master vampire and expect him not to react? And you use and ignore me and expect me not to be hurt?”

Buffy clenched her fists at her side, infuriated by Xander’s cold and calm manner.

“Xander, why are you being like this? What bought this on? Why do you think we use you? Why do you think we ignore you? Why are you still living and sleeping with the *monster* that tried to rape me?”

“Which question would you like me to answer first?”

“Xander! Stop this!”

“Ok, I’ll choose. Why do I think that you ignore me? Where shall I start? Hmm.”

Buffy had tears in her eyes. She just couldn’t understand why her friend had turned on her so suddenly. What had she done? Was Xander jealous of her past relationship with Spike?

“I’ve never ignored you. None of us have. Right, guys? Guys?”

The others kept their eyes to the floor, knowing that they were guilty as charged.

“You have *all* ignored me.”

“I haven’t! I mean, we haven’t!”

“You have. And I can prove it.”

Buffy started to pace furiously about the room. She was pretty sure that she didn’t want to hear whatever was coming.

Xander glanced sadly at the calendar hanging on the wall next to him. He read out the date. Today’s date.

“November thirtieth.”

“What?”

“November thirtieth, last year, I took my last breath.”

“What? What are you saying? Xander?”

Xander lent further into his lover, silently asking for support.

“Tell her, pet.”

“I’m a vampire. I was turned exactly one year ago today. Now do you see me?”

The silence was deafening.

The End