Love, loss and music.
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
5,519
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
5,519
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Love, loss and music.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters or the show or the music lyrics. I’m only borrowing things for a while. Please let me be? I have no money and I mean no disrespect.
A/n: I might continue this, I have ideas. Just wanted to write something with a little more loving since I tend to have quite a lot of plot in my stories.
If love between two young men bothers you, leave now, please.
Constructive feedback and positive feedback is always welcome.
___________________________________________________________________________
Salty Tears and Chocolate Kisses
Xander gave up a deep sigh as he entered his empty home. His parents were once again out of town thankfully and he would have the house to himself for the whole weekend. He was tired, Buffy and the others had been pushing him to the sidelines more and more lately and he couldn’t understand why. Buffy was all angsty over Angel’s return from Hell, still though it had been more than two months since his return. Willow was completely immersed in her magic studies. Oz was, well Oz. They didn’t get along all too great, Oz’s wolf and his own hyena reacted to each other and although Oz deferred to him in general, they had never fought out the status of alpha and Xander had never physically marked the were as beta male of the pack. Therefore whenever they were around each other they had to be extremely careful with how they interacted, Oz could not do anything that might be considered a challenge in any way, shape or form and Xander had to be careful to not put the other man in that position. It did not a healthy friendship make.
It would have been completely different if they had been pack for real, but that kind of thing was a lifetime commitment and Xander knew that Oz didn’t belong in this town, he would be leaving soon. Still, that meant that he was alone and for once he actually felt lonely too. He didn’t often feel that way since he was used to not having too many friends and anyways, he liked the quiet. It gave him a chance to think and to just be Alexander. Not the Xander shaped friend or the one getting donuts, cracking jokes, getting his ass kicked when someone happened to look his way so no one would suspect him having the Hyena primal spirit still inside his mind. God, he was broody tonight.
After heading up to his room Xander stopped in the doorway and looked at the acoustic guitar standing in the furthest corner of the room. He hadn’t played since Jesse’s death, had not so much as touched the thing after that night. Xander’s eyes then went to the small glass vial that he’d stolen from the science classroom before heading back to the Bronze in the early morning hours to collect the dust of his long-time friend. It lay on a small royal blue cushion with a candle standing next to it and a picture of a grinning Jesse taken that very summer before Buffy came to town and everything changed. Smiling sadly Xander changed his clothes, putting on some comfortable black drawstring pants and the dark red pullover sweater that had been a birthday gift from Jesse. He always loved seeing him in red, he’d said he looked handsome and in control while wearing that color. Xander remembered blushing and giving the other boy a shy kiss on the lips as thanks. They hadn’t been doing that stuff for long, only a couple weeks then and it had still felt new enough to be scary like that.
Xander continued to rummage through his wardrobe coming up with a box that opened with tentative fingers. Inside were some of his more personal things, but there were also some candles, among them a scented one smelling like chocolate and vanilla. After having returned the box to its hidden place Xander gathered the guitar and headed downstairs to the back garden. He walked outside on bare feet, feeling the grass tickle his soles. He lay down everything gently on the hammock before heading inside to fetch a cup of hot cocoa, a sprite bottle and a bowl of strawberries with chocolate sauce. It was a strange tradition drinking a hot beverage while sitting outside in the warmth, but he and Jesse had both been chocolate type of guys and since southern California never really got cold enough to actually warrant a warm beverage they had taken to drinking it anyways during their nights outside playing their guitars, singing and talking and kissing. Vanilla and strawberries, that was Jesse. Xander was chocolate and sunshine, or so his friend had told him.
Having returned with his beverages Xander placed out the candles and lit them before seating himself with one foot tucked under him in the hammock. With a smile he felt the scent of vanilla and chocolate start to fill the air. Biting his lower lip he concentrated on fine-tuning the strings of the guitar before striking a hesitant accord. Grinning in satisfaction he heard the notes sing true, he took a gulp of his hot chocolate with whipped cream and munched on a couple of strawberries before starting to pluck some more accords and once again getting the feel of holding a guitar in his arms.
It felt right having that solid body of wood back in his lap. The guitar’s surface was smooth and when his fingers caressed the neck he could almost imagine it being another’s skin that he caressed. Taunt skin over hard muscles and lean curves. Jesse’s smooth skin and Xander’s eyes closed with the memories.
~
A bright smile and glittering eyes laughing at him. Dark bangs fall down to cover one side of Jesse’s face. Xander pushes the locks aside and smiles down at the other boy. His hand touches a burning cheek. One finger wanders down Jesse’s face to his chin, which Xander cups with gentleness. A breath hitches, his own or Jesse’s, he doesn’t know.
Xander gazes into dark brown eyes and hesitates for a brief moment before finding his nerve and carefully oh so very carefully lowers his lips. The first touch is brief, like butterfly wings caressing or water drops falling. He opens his eyes while Jesse’s are still closed. Then the other boy’s eyelids flutter and they lock gazes once more.
A warm hand touches Xander’s cheek before sliding behind his head to lie on his neck. He mimics the movement and moving simultaneously they touch each others’ lips once more. Determined pressure and he just sits there for a moment, cataloguing his feelings, memorizing the texture of Jesse’s lips, how sun roughened, but soft they are.
They both tilt their heads the slightest bit and kiss a few times, then it’s Jesse’s turn to be brave as Xander feels the slight touch of tongue on his bottom lip running into the crack, begging for entrance. He briefly wonders about the mechanics of a french kiss while opening up and sucking lightly on the tip of that pink tongue. It’s warm from the hot cocoa and he finds that he likes the feeling of a part of Jesse in him. He opens up more and invites the other’s tongue in to play with his.
They twist and they tangle, they lick and chase each other around as if it were the innocent game of tag they played many summers ago. As far as first kisses go it’s definitely not bad Xander thinks. They’re friends and they love each other.
It’s summer and they’re 15 years old. Life is still a great mystery to them and they both think that they will live forever. But summers turn to fall and the winter of life comes to all men in time. Jesse’s winter came sooner than he thought though and three months later Xander’s scrubbing away the ash that was his love while standing in the shower. Soon he sinks to his knees in the bathtub and tilts his head up to catch the water drops on his lips, but it’s nothing like His kisses and Xander cannot taste the chocolate on the tip of Jesse’s tongue, only the saltiness of his own tears.
*
A/n: I might continue this, I have ideas. Just wanted to write something with a little more loving since I tend to have quite a lot of plot in my stories.
If love between two young men bothers you, leave now, please.
Constructive feedback and positive feedback is always welcome.
___________________________________________________________________________
Salty Tears and Chocolate Kisses
Xander gave up a deep sigh as he entered his empty home. His parents were once again out of town thankfully and he would have the house to himself for the whole weekend. He was tired, Buffy and the others had been pushing him to the sidelines more and more lately and he couldn’t understand why. Buffy was all angsty over Angel’s return from Hell, still though it had been more than two months since his return. Willow was completely immersed in her magic studies. Oz was, well Oz. They didn’t get along all too great, Oz’s wolf and his own hyena reacted to each other and although Oz deferred to him in general, they had never fought out the status of alpha and Xander had never physically marked the were as beta male of the pack. Therefore whenever they were around each other they had to be extremely careful with how they interacted, Oz could not do anything that might be considered a challenge in any way, shape or form and Xander had to be careful to not put the other man in that position. It did not a healthy friendship make.
It would have been completely different if they had been pack for real, but that kind of thing was a lifetime commitment and Xander knew that Oz didn’t belong in this town, he would be leaving soon. Still, that meant that he was alone and for once he actually felt lonely too. He didn’t often feel that way since he was used to not having too many friends and anyways, he liked the quiet. It gave him a chance to think and to just be Alexander. Not the Xander shaped friend or the one getting donuts, cracking jokes, getting his ass kicked when someone happened to look his way so no one would suspect him having the Hyena primal spirit still inside his mind. God, he was broody tonight.
After heading up to his room Xander stopped in the doorway and looked at the acoustic guitar standing in the furthest corner of the room. He hadn’t played since Jesse’s death, had not so much as touched the thing after that night. Xander’s eyes then went to the small glass vial that he’d stolen from the science classroom before heading back to the Bronze in the early morning hours to collect the dust of his long-time friend. It lay on a small royal blue cushion with a candle standing next to it and a picture of a grinning Jesse taken that very summer before Buffy came to town and everything changed. Smiling sadly Xander changed his clothes, putting on some comfortable black drawstring pants and the dark red pullover sweater that had been a birthday gift from Jesse. He always loved seeing him in red, he’d said he looked handsome and in control while wearing that color. Xander remembered blushing and giving the other boy a shy kiss on the lips as thanks. They hadn’t been doing that stuff for long, only a couple weeks then and it had still felt new enough to be scary like that.
Xander continued to rummage through his wardrobe coming up with a box that opened with tentative fingers. Inside were some of his more personal things, but there were also some candles, among them a scented one smelling like chocolate and vanilla. After having returned the box to its hidden place Xander gathered the guitar and headed downstairs to the back garden. He walked outside on bare feet, feeling the grass tickle his soles. He lay down everything gently on the hammock before heading inside to fetch a cup of hot cocoa, a sprite bottle and a bowl of strawberries with chocolate sauce. It was a strange tradition drinking a hot beverage while sitting outside in the warmth, but he and Jesse had both been chocolate type of guys and since southern California never really got cold enough to actually warrant a warm beverage they had taken to drinking it anyways during their nights outside playing their guitars, singing and talking and kissing. Vanilla and strawberries, that was Jesse. Xander was chocolate and sunshine, or so his friend had told him.
Having returned with his beverages Xander placed out the candles and lit them before seating himself with one foot tucked under him in the hammock. With a smile he felt the scent of vanilla and chocolate start to fill the air. Biting his lower lip he concentrated on fine-tuning the strings of the guitar before striking a hesitant accord. Grinning in satisfaction he heard the notes sing true, he took a gulp of his hot chocolate with whipped cream and munched on a couple of strawberries before starting to pluck some more accords and once again getting the feel of holding a guitar in his arms.
It felt right having that solid body of wood back in his lap. The guitar’s surface was smooth and when his fingers caressed the neck he could almost imagine it being another’s skin that he caressed. Taunt skin over hard muscles and lean curves. Jesse’s smooth skin and Xander’s eyes closed with the memories.
~
A bright smile and glittering eyes laughing at him. Dark bangs fall down to cover one side of Jesse’s face. Xander pushes the locks aside and smiles down at the other boy. His hand touches a burning cheek. One finger wanders down Jesse’s face to his chin, which Xander cups with gentleness. A breath hitches, his own or Jesse’s, he doesn’t know.
Xander gazes into dark brown eyes and hesitates for a brief moment before finding his nerve and carefully oh so very carefully lowers his lips. The first touch is brief, like butterfly wings caressing or water drops falling. He opens his eyes while Jesse’s are still closed. Then the other boy’s eyelids flutter and they lock gazes once more.
A warm hand touches Xander’s cheek before sliding behind his head to lie on his neck. He mimics the movement and moving simultaneously they touch each others’ lips once more. Determined pressure and he just sits there for a moment, cataloguing his feelings, memorizing the texture of Jesse’s lips, how sun roughened, but soft they are.
They both tilt their heads the slightest bit and kiss a few times, then it’s Jesse’s turn to be brave as Xander feels the slight touch of tongue on his bottom lip running into the crack, begging for entrance. He briefly wonders about the mechanics of a french kiss while opening up and sucking lightly on the tip of that pink tongue. It’s warm from the hot cocoa and he finds that he likes the feeling of a part of Jesse in him. He opens up more and invites the other’s tongue in to play with his.
They twist and they tangle, they lick and chase each other around as if it were the innocent game of tag they played many summers ago. As far as first kisses go it’s definitely not bad Xander thinks. They’re friends and they love each other.
It’s summer and they’re 15 years old. Life is still a great mystery to them and they both think that they will live forever. But summers turn to fall and the winter of life comes to all men in time. Jesse’s winter came sooner than he thought though and three months later Xander’s scrubbing away the ash that was his love while standing in the shower. Soon he sinks to his knees in the bathtub and tilts his head up to catch the water drops on his lips, but it’s nothing like His kisses and Xander cannot taste the chocolate on the tip of Jesse’s tongue, only the saltiness of his own tears.
*