A Pirate's Life for Me
A Pirate's Life for Me
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Disclaimer
don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer
and this isn't for profit, so I don't get sued. Neat, huh?
Rating
High-Seas Hijinks)
Summary
she hates the vampire Spike. But when an enchanted book pulls her into a world
where she's Lady Elizabeth Summers, trapped on the ship of famed pirate William
the Bloody, things start to look a little different… (Humor/Romance)
Spoilers
gone. Glory's on her Great Key Search. Spike loves
Buffy, but she doesn't know it)
Author's Note
fic! Betcha didn't think that even was possible, huh?
Feedback and Archiving
and prevent any monetary gain on this endeavor, feedback's all I can get—so review
away! And I'm cool with archiving 99.9% of the time, but if I haven't already
given you the okay for my fics before, please ask. Thanks!
Shameless Website Plug
'em out: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/addielogan/buffy.html
A Pirate's Life for Me
By: Addie Logan
***
*** ***
Buffy walked into the Magic Box.
Giles had asked her to meet him there after her patrol in order discuss the
current situation with Glory after the run-in Buffy had had with her the night
before.
It had been a quiet patrol,
however, and when Buffy got to the shop it was empty. She sat on the counter,
idly twirling her stake as she waited for Giles. After a moment, she looked
beside her, seeing an open shipping box beside her. She peeked in, finding it
full of books. Needing a way to pass the time, Buffy set the
stake by the register and pulled out a book, frowning as she read the title:
The cover, with its chesty heroine
being clasped by an over muscled pirate made the genre of this particular tome
quite evident. "When did Giles start selling romance novels?" she
wondered aloud before shrugging and turning to the first page.
It
was the sort of night that chilled one to the bone. The young maiden wrapped
her cloak tightly around her to guard against the cold sea winds, her nipples
pressing against the fabric of her bodice.
Buffy rolled her eyes. Two sentences
in, and it was already bordering on raunchy. She didn't see why anyone would be
interested in this stuff. It was horrible. She kept reading.
"Whatcha readin',
Slayer?"
Buffy jumped,
her eyes wide. "Spike! What the hell are you
doing here?"
"Lookin' for
you. Wanted
to ask if the nibblet was all right." He gave her a wicked grin.
"That must be some book to get you so caught up you didn't even hear me
come in."
"I…I was just waiting for
Giles. I wasn't really reading it."
"Uh huh.
"It's…I didn't pay
attention."
"Right.
"No!" Buffy said, backing
away from Spike.
"If you're not reading it,
Slayer, then you shouldn't mind if I take a look at it."
"I do mind! I mind because…because…you
can't be trusted with the merchandise!" Spike rolled his eyes and snatched
the book out of her hand. "Hey!" Buffy cried in protest as Spike ran
behind the counter to keep her from reclaiming the novel
Spike flipped to the middle, laughing
as he read aloud in a breathy falsetto, "Oh, I just can't resist you! I
must ride you like the lusty stallion you are!"
"Give it back, you, you—pervert!"
Buffy cried, jumping over the counter to get to him as Spike continued to read.
"Her bosom heaved as he
wrapped his arm around her to pull her close, his lips descending on hers,
overwhelming her with his pleasing, masculine taste. She moaned, melting as he…"
Buffy grabbed the book, trying to
pull it from Spike's tight grasp. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light,
and Buffy raised her free hand to shield her eyes.
The book fell to the ground,
leaving the Magic Box empty once more.
***
*** ***
Buffy woke with a splitting
headache. And to make things worse, the room was spinning. She frowned. No, not
spinning. It was rocking. Why was the room rocking?
And furthermore, why was she in
this room at all?
"Oh, thank goodness you are
awake. I was beginning to fear you would never come to."
Buffy sat up, clutching her head.
At least that voice was familiar. "Giles? Where
are we?"
"Try not to speak, Lady
Elizabeth. It will only tire you. We can discuss our current situation when you
are better rested."
Buffy removed her hands from her
head, glancing over at Giles. He looked like her Watcher. He sounded like her
Watcher. But why was he wearing those funny clothes? Her gaze darted down. Why
was she wearing funny clothes? Had
someone gotten into the possessed Halloween costumes again?
Just then, the door burst open, and
Spike came bounding in. Buffy frowned. He was wearing funny clothes, too. And
why in the world was his hair long? "Buffy!" he announced, his tone
scarily chipper, "We're on a pirate ship. And get this—I'm the captain!
There's a whole mess of pirates out there that'll do anything I say!"
Buffy buried her face in her hands
with a whimper, wishing she would wake up but knowing at the same time that
everything was too vivid to be just a dream. Somehow, someway, she'd ended up
trapped on a pirate ship with Captain Spike and crazy Giles.
Why did these things always have to
happen to her?
***
*** ***
This is a lot shorter than my
normal chapters, I know, but I wanted to see what sort of response I got before
I really started work on it. So, If you want to see
more of this—or don't, either one—let me know. If I get a bunch of reviews
telling me you're interested in this one, then I'll continue. (Ah, blackmail—gotta
love it.)